Long Lost Family - General Discussion

[Suzysite]

6 hours ago, Jadzia said:

So who were the people who left him in the hotel room? Was it his bio dad's family or someone else they left him with? I was confused by the events.

It sounded liked his grandparents handed him off to a woman they knew and she either abandoned him herself or else yet another person did.  Awful people passing a toddler around like a toy.  At least he ended up with a good family.  And probably far better than being raised by his wackadoo bio mom.  Yikes, that woman was exhausting.   Her poor kids must spend all their time trying to keep her calm.

[stormy]

Shawn/Aimee story was one of the best episodes I've seen in LLF.

Both so likeable and I was happy that Aimee found she has a huge family that she had no idea existed.  It was a tangled mess that Shawn invested a lot of years into.

[Blergh]

17 hours ago, stormy said:

Shawn/Aimee story was one of the best episodes I've seen in LLF.

Both so likeable and I was happy that Aimee found she has a huge family that she had no idea existed.  It was a tangled mess that Shawn invested a lot of years into.

 I agree- and I REALLY liked how Shawn identified with Superman as a child being raised by loving parents who had not borne him. That's so cool- and I noticed he named his son Clark (which likely will bring him far less grief than Nicolas Cage's son named Kal-El). Yeah, Aimee seemed as though she truly was appreciative of not only learning his fate but ALSO about her own original family through him but not overwhelming and clingy unlike Lazaro's mother. This, despite the fact that it doesn't appear that she ever married or had other children.

It's not that I'm unsympathetic to what had happened to Lazaro's mother and, yes I'm very happy they they DID get reunited. However; I can imagine that her high-strung intensity will be something Lazaro and his family will find challenging to cope with as time goes by. Oh, and her other kids are going to have to struggle with NOT getting resentful over him being considered by her to be her most attractive offspring. My sibs and I all looked different and our mother praised our looks but I can't ever recall her saying one of us was the MOST attractive- EVER.  Still, the bottom line is the reunion has brought happiness to folks who were very unsure and distraught re   what had happened re their original family so that's the most important thing.

[stormy]

I thought Lazaro's sister Renya was adorable. Mom? Kooky.

What I found really interesting is that Aimee's birth parents kept her a secret to the very end.

For someone so overwhelmed with so much info to meet her half brother and an aunt on the spot? She handled it well.

[sadtvjunkie]

This week's episode  with the 2 sisters and mom looking for the full brother Mathew. I really got the sense they would jump him and never let go of him when they met. I'm glad it wasn't like that when they did. They were almost too nervous to even talk to each other it seemed. It also seemed like the younger daughter was way more into finding him then the mom was.

[TiredMe]

The mom of Tony made me cry with her story. I was worried about Tony because he seemed way too into having his bio mom approval but it turned out ok. Aunt Vi and Uncle Bob were cute and seeemd like the nicest people. 

I felt for Matt and Audrey, they we both so nervous that is was so awkward. I hope they loosened up after the cameras were done.

[stormy]

Tony kind of got on my nerves. Mom Betty was cool. I liked her.

The whole background story of Irma, the sisters and Matt's story might have been the saddest story I've seen on LLF. I'm glad everything turned out OK.

[camom]

I thought it was kind of sad that Tony felt that he needed his birth mom's approval so much.  I got the feeling it would never be enough, though.

Mathew seemed pretty overwhelmed, but I hope they'll all have a decent relationship.

[ChiCricket]

Some of the hugs (on various episodes) go on way too long for me for people who just met.

  I don't mind hugs, just some of them seem so one-sided and LONG.

I can't remember which one it was, but the biological mother finally said something like

" let me get a look at your face"....which to *me* meant: please stop hugging me, and let me catch my breath!

[Porkchop]

I love this show. It does require Kleenex to get through it. But it's so gratifying to see the seekers find their families. I feel joyous with/for them.

[Jadzia]

So there's a trend lately that is kind of bothering me about this show: the found sainted bio dad who claims if he knew about the kid, he wouldn't have agreed to the adoption. And now last night's episode with a dad who says he never wanted to agree to it, but the meanie birth mommy made him do it. I'm sure these situations can happen, but I also feel these stories really vilify the women as cold and unfeeling while also being very unrealistic about the demands of full-time parenthood and how women are usually the ones left holding the bag. It's very easy for a bio dad to claim they would have raised the child etc. but actually being a parent 24/7 is not the easiest job and the main responsibility usually does fall on the woman. Rant over.

[stormy]

I know that bio dad Chuck said he forgave birth mom Brook, but I don't think he has.

Tara and Priscilla were darling. I hope they have a good relationship.

Edited October 31, 2018 by stormy

[Fouts]

Excellent point, Jadzia, about the birth-daddies guilt-dumping the birth-mommies.  If the bio dads actually had their acts together, they almost certainly could have claimed parental rights in a court of law at the time of birth, should they so desired.  But of course they didn't, so no such attempts were ever made.  A pox on anyone who criticizes these women and their sacrifices, which I consider the ultimate act of selflessness, truly.  

On the other hand, I do applaud the show for bringing in more of the baby-daddy storylines.  Too often the male DNA contribution is just a big mystery, or an after-thought, barely mentioned. 

I'm enjoying these longer episodes where they are able to dig deeper into these questions, as well as the twists and turns of solving the puzzle itself.

Normally I'm not such an emotional person, but both of last night's reunions turned me into a watery mess.  

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

I think in this case the bio dad wanted his son, but, as a long distance truck driver, he knew he couldn't do it alone. It was sweet that he said he'd bring the son to the bio-mom when he could. He did seem to still have some anger, but, he's trying to move on. It was so sweet that the adopted parents came to the meet. It was full circle.  I always wonder how the adopted parents feel when they find out the kids meet their bio family. 

 

My mom had a baby at 16, in 1965, that her mother made her give away. She never forgot her.   I was able to find the daughter in 2010 and they met. The daughter even traveled to see my mother when she was dying. She begged me not to pull the plug until she got there. I would never have done it anyway. This show resonates so much with me. The room gets awfully dusty when the parties meet. Despite my sister's adopted mom not wanting them to meet years ago, they were very supportive when we connected.  On one of our visits we spent time doing ancestry stuff and it was awesome to see her connect with us in that way.

 

Aww poor Tara and Priscilla. Priscilla gave her away,, hoping she had more of a loving mother than herself and it didn't work out. Those two are gonna love up on each other and do just fine. 

[bybrandy]

I have seen so many men though say they don't want to give the baby up, or they want the mom to not get an abortion and then when he baby comes they bail.  I'm not saying Chuck would have.  i'm just saying it isn't terribly unusual for the birth dad to be all in when it is a theory and less so when it is a reality.   Obviously this isn't every guy, or even the majority of them, but saying you want to keep the baby doesn't mean you are ready to keep the baby.   

 

I was glad that bided chuck was able to put his anger aside at least for the reunion.  I also don't know if he can keep it up, either the reunion was cathartic for him and he can let it go or not but I'm glad his anger didn't impinge on the day.   

With two dads called Chuck, I feel certain that Ben's first son (should he have one) will be named Charles.

[TiredMe]

I felt for poor Ben having to now keep his two Chucks straight. Lol

but I also felt bio Chuck was still mad as hell no matter what he said. It’s just not healthy so hopefully he is able to work through it. 

Edited November 2, 2018 by TiredMe

[Blergh]

Yeah, I think Bio Chuck was still a bit sore over having given up Ben after Brook said she was not ready to be a parent but I believe he'd gotten over the bulk of said anger - even though it doesn't appear he ever married or had other offspring. Still, I'm not condemning him because there have been plenty of cases where bio mothers wanted to keep babies despite rather sketchy living circumstances but the bio fathers had said THEY weren't ready to be parents- and I wouldn't condemn a bio mother for still being sore over having been talked into putting a child up for adoption against their wishes. As long as the sore bio parents didn't let said soreness spoil the bonds between themselves, their offspring and other parents, I really have no problems with a little lingering resentment.   Rather poignant that both Bio Chuck and Ben independently said they each looked in vehicles for the other.  Well, let's hope that both sets of Ben's parents, his girlfriend and himself continue to get along.

 

 I have to admit that I was more moved by Tara's story of having found out only upon her legal mother's deathbed that the older was NOT her actual bio mother (and the woman's 2nd [ex?] husband admitted that not only was he not Tara's bio father but also that he'd only known her from the time she was two. Oddly enough, this isn't unique in that  Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz first wife  Joyce was divorced with a tot daughter who he not only adopted but also even went to the trouble of faking his marriage to her mother being two years longer than it was so everyone would believe that the daughter Meredith would was from their union (including the girl herself). It would only be in adulthood that she learned of her mother's first marriage and her actual father's identity. 

What was especially sad that, for whatever reasons, Tara's adoptive mother seemed to reject  the child she had gone to such trouble to pass off as her own. And what was especially poignant was that her birth mother Priscilla had had a very similar frosty relationship with her own parents but had LOVED her daughter from birth but due to her young age and dependence on her own parents, had her hand forced by her parents  to put her up for adoption but DID wish for the infant Tara to have a loving home which she herself did NOT.  As sad as having that commonality of being disdained by those they had pinned on loving them, at least they now will know that their mother-daughter bond is NOT something to be taken for granted or as a matter of course but something very special!  Also, what amazed me is that despite Priscilla desperately wanting to nurture a child but never having another after Tara, Priscilla seemed like a very warm empathetic person who would be someone that most   (who would have reason to know her) would feel lucky to have her in their lives (and I can't say that about every single participant, findee in this series). 

[7-Zark-7]

Tara and Pricilla were just lovely (and looked so much alike)! For two women who grew up feeling unloved, they seem remarkably resilient and mature. I hope they form the loving mother daughter bond that neither of them were fortunate to have had. 

[stormy]

Kind of a dull episode. But the show is much better when it's only an hour.

I did like birth mom Terry. Very genuine and three kids under the age of eight at 26. Not a pretty picture.

[Jadzia]

I thought it was interesting that both cases this week only seemed to be interested in meeting their birth mothers. The fathers were never really mentioned and they didn't seem to look for them.

The one daughter seemed a little hippy-dippy what with her psychic friends network telling her she descended from "aristocracy". And the fact that the mom went along with that was weird. My great grandmother came from Austria too but that doesn't mean we're aristocrats. Also, after she reunited with mom she was speaking in a very over-dramatic way and was less emotional than most adoptees which came across like she was emoting for the cameras. Did not seem as genuine as most of the people on this show.

[bybrandy]

4 hours ago, Jadzia said:

My great grandmother came from Austria too but that doesn't mean we're aristocrats.

Eh, if you are vaguely European stock you are probably descended from aristocracy on some line somewhere. It isn't terribly unusual.  Even the birth mom said something about many, many, many people being descended from Genghis Kahn.  But yeah the whole hippy dippy psychic woman and the angry bitter man did not make for really anybody I was all that invested in this episode.  

Edited November 7, 2018 by bybrandy

[TiredMe]

This episode didn’t grab me like the rest of them have. I thought the “Austrian” daughter was the spitting image of her mother. 

[Blergh]

The one thing that did NOT get addressed re Terry's elder three sons was this: if they did indeed know about the existence of their youngest brother and the fact that their mother had given him away, did any of them ever wonder as children or teens  if they'd be given away if their living circumstances got worse? I hope she at least told them that they would NOT. Nothing mentioned about the elder three wanting to meet him or having much to do with Terry herself nowadays. 

 

 Also, considering all the chaos and misery that Genghis Khan  and his heirs wrought over so much of Asia and Eastern Europe, I wouldn't brag about being his descendant. I'd prefer letting others conclude I came from obscure origins or was descended from a sib of Sir Isaac Newton (who was childless) than spell out who that somewhat notorious ancestor was. 

Edited November 10, 2018 by Blergh
Genghis etc

[Enigma X]

Many of the cases are not engaging me this season. Maybe, because I feel like they can edit it down to one hour instead of two. That time slot sucks for two hours.

I guess the cases are interesting but something is making it very uninteresting to me.

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

This most recent episode was only 1 hour. They've started Mama Medium in the 2nd hour slot.

[DNR]

I only catch this show occasionally by accident but boy do i cry my eyes out when i do !!! ??????

[Ina123]

Last night's segment of the woman seeking her son was very good. His reaction was so real. He was truly shocked and I loved his very honest, "this is so weird". I didn't understand that if she gave him up in the hospital, how did she have a picture of him at 2 weeks old? Did Catholic Charities keep in touch?

I just didn't feel the same about the woman seeking her father. First he couldn't remember because he had had a stroke. Then he seemed to remember a lot and even "looked" for her. I just don't think he looked that hard. Not buying it. Geeze. He knew her grandparents had her. He was with her mother for 5 years. I think he knew it all. With that all said maybe she just needs to forgive and forget.

[Galloway Cave]

3 hours ago, Ina123 said:

I just didn't feel the same about the woman seeking her father.

I think he felt extremely guilty for having left her mother, then wasn't there when she died during childbirth. He said early on he thought Angie would hate him for it. Angie also said her grandparents said they didn't know who her father was. And apparently didn't tell her they had dated for five years or anything about her hippie/commune past. So I wonder if they did more to keep them apart than he is letting on. He barely wanted to say her mom had cheated on him. He may not want to say anything bad about the people who raised her. I wonder what her grandmother will have to say now that she has met her father.

[stormy]

Something bothered me about Angie's story.

She said she had a very good life.  Grandma and Grandpa were always there for her. Seemed very supportive of her when it came to extracurricular activities. 

But then her Grandma didn't want to celebrate Angie's birthday because it brought up sad memories of loosing her daughter.

And I wondered if she asked her grandparents about her mom when she was growing up. Like did my mom like this or that? Just to know if she was like her as a child.

[Jadzia]

42 minutes ago, stormy said:

Something bothered me about Angie's story.

She said she had a very good life.  Grandma and Grandpa were always there for her. Seemed very supportive of her when it came to extracurricular activities. 

But then her Grandma didn't want to celebrate Angie's birthday because it brought up sad memories of loosing her daughter.

And I wondered if she asked her grandparents about her mom when she was growing up. Like did my mom like this or that? Just to know if she was like her as a child.

I thought it was strange that she asked her father the cause of her mother's death. Wouldn't her grandmother have been told that? I was surprised when the father said she had epilepsy because I thought her own mother would have known that. Was her mother estranged from her own mother? Also the fact that they were together 5 years but the grandmother had no idea who her father was? I wondered if the grandmother maybe kept her from knowing so she wouldn't have a relationship with him?

I was kind of bugged by the fact that the father's wife was there during the first interview with Lisa, but glad that she stayed back during the reunion. It wasn't about her, and her being there at first made it seem rather defensive since often the spouse may feel threatened by a newfound child coming forward. Had they been married long? He said that she helped him look for her, but was this recently or when the daughter was little? Also, he mentioned 14 grandchildren, did he ever say how many other children he had? This show always frustrates me with what little info they give about the people.

[Yeah No]

18 hours ago, Ina123 said:

I just didn't feel the same about the woman seeking her father. First he couldn't remember because he had had a stroke. Then he seemed to remember a lot and even "looked" for her. I just don't think he looked that hard. Not buying it. Geeze. He knew her grandparents had her. He was with her mother for 5 years. I think he knew it all. With that all said maybe she just needs to forgive and forget.

I smelled some BS in Cisco's story.  He made out like he broke up with her mother because she cheated on him, as if to make himself look a little less guilty, when my suspicion is that he broke off with her because he didn't want to raise his child with her.  Then later he seemed to take responsibility for leaving her mother and asked for forgiveness, so it's like he's admitting it without actually admitting it.

Another thing that bugged me is that Angie's mom was only 22 when she died.  Cisco said they were together for 5 years!  That would have made her probably barely 17 when they first met!  He looked more than a few years older than she would be now (62), although it was hard to tell because of the stroke.  This business with acting like she was a "free spirit" that lived on communes - she was just a kid when he met her, maybe even a runaway that he took advantage of.  It would be no wonder to me that he would not have stayed in touch with Angie's grandparents.  The guy was not as kosher as he was presenting himself to be.

[Teri313]

I also call BS on Cisco. Did he have a stroke, like he told Chris? Or a heart attack, like he told Angie? Then he goes on about how the first person he thought about after his "heart attack" was her. She cried and seemed to buy it, but really? A girl he never met in his life, and that's who you think about? With a wife, children, and 14 grandchildren?

[Blergh]

Yeah, Cisco seemed to change his story too many times for there to be much credibility on his part.

However; I can't help but think that the surviving maternal grandparents had had a very rough time with their late daughter during the last five or so years of her life. I mean, I actually DO believe that that  Cisco DID know that the poor woman had had epilepsy since it's one of the rare conditions that would cause a 22-year-old to have a brain aneurysm during the latter part of her pregnancy. I wonder WHO it was who got the Angie's mother to the hospital and how did they know to contact the maternal grandparents (and how to reach them) when it became evident that Angie's mother was brain dead. Did Angie's maternal grandparents have to give consent to have the emergency C-section performed as well as make the necessary but horrible decision to take her off life support? I have the feeling that Angie's maternal grandparents after all the turmoil of the last part of their only child's life had happened (which seemed to include leaving home when she was in her teens and moving across the country), may have decided that somehow Angie was their second (and last ) chance to raise a child right- and they wanted a completely CLEAN slate with her so she wouldn't uproot herself and stay away like their late daughter had done.   I also think they DID know who Cisco was and that he was Angie's father since their daughter had been with him for so long but they didn't want her to have ANY ties with him whatsoever so I believe it's likely they outrightly lied about that to her (as well as refuse to tell her any details of her mother's epilepsy so Angie wouldn't question as to WHY they had let her mother leave as a legal minor especially with such a risky condition). 

   All in all, I think Angie needs to grill both Cisco and her surviving maternal grandmother  and very thoroughly listen to and evaluate each side to get as close to the truth of her conception and birth as possible. However; since both these individuals seem to have been less than honest with Angie, even via this method, I somehow doubt Angie will be able to do more than piece together a fragmented proximity of the truth rather than actually unlock the complete truth. 

[Spencer Hastings]

I also called BS on Cisco.  He said he had a stroke and didn’t remember much but suddenly he was all “It was a bright and sunny day at 1:23 pm.  Your mother was wearing bell bottom jeans with yellow daisies embroidered with lace.  She was eating strawberry yogurt but only ate about 1/4 of it...”

He seemed to remember everything about her mother’s past and their relationship.  That stroke story didn’t gel with me at all, especially when he switched it up to a heart attack later on. I think he probably told the mother to get lost and made up the cheating story when he realized no one was alive to call his bluff. 

[stormy]

I thought this week's episode was meh.

I still don't know how Christine was put up for adoption. Her birth mother just  said she didn't remember leaving her with a sitter and  not coming  back.

Christine was happy and that's what counts.

[Teri313]

6 hours ago, stormy said:

I thought this week's episode was meh.

I still don't know how Christine was put up for adoption. Her birth mother just  said she didn't remember leaving her with a sitter and  not coming  back.

Christine was happy and that's what counts.

I feel like, as with Cisco, here we go again. The story was that Christine was abandoned at the babysitter's. Then the birth mom tells Chris that she doesn't remember leaving her. Then when they reunite, she tells Christine, "Honey, I've thought about you ever since I signed that damn line..." and goes on to tell her that she couldn't have given her all the things her mother and father have given her, and that's why she gave her up. But, if she left her with a babysitter - and that must be the case, since that's the story Christine grew up with - then is her mother making this up? If it was an arranged adoption, why not just say so? Why wouldn't the people who found/placed/adopted her have that story, instead of the babysitter story? I guess I'm just really confused by this story and again, I'm sorry to say that I'm not really buying it. I think she was young and abandoned her kid with a babysitter and now she is rewriting history. I wish the producers would do a better job of vetting these people and their stories. And P.S., the birth mom looked just like Bette Davis.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Teri313 said:

I feel like, as with Cisco, here we go again. The story was that Christine was abandoned at the babysitter's. Then the birth mom tells Chris that she doesn't remember leaving her. Then when they reunite, she tells Christine, "Honey, I've thought about you ever since I signed that damn line..." and goes on to tell her that she couldn't have given her all the things her mother and father have given her, and that's why she gave her up. But, if she left her with a babysitter - and that must be the case, since that's the story Christine grew up with - then is her mother making this up? If it was an arranged adoption, why not just say so? Why wouldn't the people who found/placed/adopted her have that story, instead of the babysitter story? I guess I'm just really confused by this story and again, I'm sorry to say that I'm not really buying it. I think she was young and abandoned her kid with a babysitter and now she is rewriting history. I wish the producers would do a better job of vetting these people and their stories. And P.S., the birth mom looked just like Bette Davis.

I agree, plus the way the show told it, they made it sound like the mother walked away and no one ever saw her again, which was most likely not the case.  I imagine that the babysitter knew the mother or at least some information about her, so it's not like she could just disappear.  And how could Christine know the name of her birth mother AND father?  She had to get that information from somewhere, like an adoption record perhaps?  Which would mean the birth mother had to be a part of handing the baby over to an adoption agency.  Would the babysitter have known that and told Christine?  That sounds more far fetched.  I think the show was part of the deception in this episode, as they likely were in the Cisco episode too.   It makes me wonder what other parts of the story were fiction.  Her father is dead so it would be easy for her mother to spin a yarn about him being an abuser to look less guilty.  I want to believe that part of it, but still have my doubts because the rest of the story didn't add up.

[Blergh]

While I wonder why Christine was told that her birth mother dumped her at the baby sitter, despite the mother admitting she signed a piece of paper, I actually think that birth mother's story has more credibility than the other one's.

Namely the man who had it spelled it in documents that his birth mother chose to put him up for adoption since her fiance refused to raise someone else's child. It seemed everyone from the man himself to his wife to the birth mother (and half-sister) to even  Lisa danced around the room elephant re that the man is biracial while his birth mother is of European decent.  IMO, that put FAR more pressure on the birth mother from her parents and fiance to give up the baby than had his male DNA donor also been of European descent (and likely all of the above including the birth mother would have been more willing to accept him not being the fiance's bio kid). Not to say that the birth mother didn't have her regrets and didn't wish she hadn't put him up for adoption. However; I REALLY think she should have admitted that THAT was a contributing factor and just OWNED that either she was not strong enough at the time to oppose the others' bigotry . ...or that she herself may not have been entirely fair minded about her own offspring at the time. I also noticed that neither his birth mother nor Lisa seemed to make any effort to tell him who his male DNA donor  by name was much less how to get in touch with him. I have no idea if the travelling musician from the West Indies is still living much less would be interested in meeting his now grown son. Sad that the man himself didn't seem to want to pursue the other half of his ancestry- even though at worse it seemed the West Indian musician was a rogue even via the birth mother's account. 

[iMonrey]

I'm late in catching up with this season. I changed cable companies, so I didn't have this show on series record anymore and didn't even know it was back until last week. 

It was torturous getting through the first few episodes on TLC's app because sitting through 2 hours with all those commercials was agony. Having done it though, I think the 2-hour episodes really turned out better than the usual 1-hour episodes do. They really get more into the weeds of the circumstances in a way the 1-hour episodes don't. See the above observations WRT non-mentioned bio-fathers, etc. 

Quote

Aww poor Tara and Priscilla. Priscilla gave her away,, hoping she had more of a loving mother than herself and it didn't work out. Those two are gonna love up on each other and do just fine.

Disagree. I think this one will be a classic case where the parent and child ultimately drift apart again. As soon as the long-lost child shows up and starts wailing about never being loved growing up, the biological parent is going to feel overwhelmed with grief and guilt. That happened last season too, with the woman who was searching for both her birth mother and the daughter she gave up. I've read that about half the time, after the euphoria of meeting wears off, the parent and child usually drift apart again, and it's usually because the parent is overcome by guilt. If you have a child you gave away telling you how awful their childhood was, and that their adoptive parents never showed them any love, imagine how hard it's going to be to get over that. Also imagine the neediness of that child and the expectations upon you.

Quote

And P.S., the birth mom looked just like Bette Davis.

Yes, she had Bette Davis eyes! And I agree her story was sketchy. But if she did indeed sign adoption papers it's possible the story that her daughter was abandoned at the babysitter's house wasn't entirely true. That may have been anecdotal to illustrate her mother was unfit to care for her (i.e. "one time, she left you at the baby-sitter's house and didn't come back!")

Quote

I fear Monica is lost. She was already on the edge over her mother not being her mother and she found that out decades earlier. Now with this father situation (and he doesn't even remember her mother ---actually none of her parents seem to know each other, much less which one of them helped create her) I don't see her getting past it.

I don't either. That's another one that's not going to end up in a bunch of happy family reunions every year.

[Lizzing]

I prefer the 2 hour shows, despite the commercials, because we get much more of the story.  Tonight's episode was a good example with John, the guy who found out he was adopted at nearly 50, and Wilson, his full bio brother.  When they showed the grave marker at the end, we saw the parents' birth years and they would have been in their early thirties when they gave up John for adoption, and Wilson was born a couple of years later.  I really want to know why they gave John up and then stayed together until the father's death.  Usually when we see the stories of the bio parents having more full-sibling children, the first was born when they were in high school and the others later.  But this couple was well into adulthood when they gave up the first kid and the second didn't come that much later.  I really want to know what the story was there, but they didn't get into it.  Surely the surviving uncle would have known if the parents had gone through a rough patch and split up for a while, or had a history of a rocky relationship or something.  It was just a weird thing that is gonna bug me now. lol.

[iMonrey]

There were several pieces missing from both stories in this latest episode. The story of how John's adoptive aunt and uncle went into the hospital and got him made it sound like they stole a baby from the nursery. I guess that wasn't the case but finding a brother really didn't answer any questions, like why he was given up in the first place. And Wilson said there had always been "rumors" about an older brother, so who started them? What exactly were the rumors? 

The woman who was looking for her first born son apparently went on to have other children because when they met she said they had always known about him. How many are there? Don't they want to meet him? 

Anyone watch the show that follows this one? It's called "I should have known" and it's sort of a meaner, more exploitative version of Long Lost Family where someone finds out they were adopted then spends half an hour yelling at their parents for never telling them. 

Edited November 27, 2018 by iMonrey

[Koalagirl]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

There were several pieces missing from both stories in this latest episode. The story of how John's adoptive aunt and uncle went into the hospital and got him made it sound like they stole a baby from the nursery. I guess that wasn't the case but finding a brother really didn't answer any questions, like why he was given up in the first place. And Wilson said there had always been "rumors" about an older brother, so who started them? What exactly were the rumors? 

The woman who was looking for her first born son apparently went on to have other children because when they met she said they had always known about him. How many are there? Don't they want to meet him? 

Anyone watch the show that follows this one? It's called "I should have known" and it's sort of a meaner, more exploitative version of Long Lost Family where someone finds out they were adopted then spends half an hour yelling at their parents for never telling them. 

"I Should Have Known" was just a one-off.  I checked to see if there were going to be other episodes but there were none listed.  I don't blame the girl who was conceived by IVF for being angry that she wasn't told about it.  Her mother was a complete flake who didn't get why she felt she needed to know her medical history, especially in view of the fact she has MS and was of childbearing years. 

[Jadzia]

Last night's episode was so weird. They kept hinting that we were going to get some big reveal about finding out the truth but it never happened. I get that the brother didn't know anything because he wasn't born yet but why didn't the show at least interview the Uncle who was still alive? Instead they drop all these weird snippets like the mom trying to call to get her son back for years and they never even mentioned it. Also, John knew he was adopted for 4 years so why had he never taken a DNA test before but his son had? And his son just never bothered to message the close match he had already? And why hadn't Wilson messaged him on Ancestry if he was looking? And what was the weirdness with Lisa introducing him  "He goes by Wilson"? Was that his stage name or something? So bizarre.

The other story was nice, I got a sense that the mother and son will likely have a relationship going forward. But again I wish this show would tell us more about these people. She mentioned having other kids, is she married? She talked about her high school boyfriend at the beginning, was she in touch with him still? You'd think if you were going on a show to find your bio kid, you might want to reach out to them and see if they want to join the search. How come the son never once asked about who his dad was? Also, he mentioned having 3 kids, is he married? At first I thought maybe he was gay.

Edited November 27, 2018 by Jadzia

[stormy]

John's story was so confusing. Maybe partly because there was a lot of information that wasn't revealed on purpose or because they didn't have all of the facts.

I agree it would be nice if their uncle could answer some questions about the circumstances of John being put up for adoption.

Edited November 28, 2018 by stormy

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, Jadzia said:

The other story was nice, I got a sense that the mother and son will likely have a relationship going forward. But again I wish this show would tell us more about these people. She mentioned having other kids, is she married? She talked about her high school boyfriend at the beginning, was she in touch with him still? You'd think if you were going on a show to find your bio kid, you might want to reach out to them and see if they want to join the search. How come the son never once asked about who his dad was? Also, he mentioned having 3 kids, is he married? At first I thought maybe he was gay.

I agree.  Didn't they show a school photo of the father in the beginning?  They would have had to clear that with him to do that.  It makes me wonder why they couldn't tell us more about him on the show, or even have the son meet him too.

Also, my husband and I were confused as to how Chris found the son.  Did we somehow miss that all important piece of information?  What happened to the segment where they show the steps they took?  All Chris said was that he made some phone calls and found him.  It seems as though as the season wears on the shows are getting sloppier and omitting more of those details.  But that's what makes this show interesting for some people.  Otherwise, it doesn't make much sense.  The more I think about it the more I think they edited some 2 hour shows down to an hour and didn't do a very good job of it.   I felt the same about John's segment.  Big details were left out and as a result the story didn't seem plausible.  I really felt for John.  That guy got shafted in just about every way.  I can't imagine thinking you're Italian all your life and then finding out at 50 that you're not!  Knowing how so many NYC Italian Americans have a very strong sense of cultural pride, that had to be a very big head spin for him.

[Jadzia]

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Also, my husband and I were confused as to how Chris found the son.  Did we somehow miss that all important piece of information?  What happened to the segment where they show the steps they took?  All Chris said was that he made some phone calls and found him.

Basically he searched the California Birth Index for all boys born on that date in Santa Ana. Then proceeded to call them all. Oh and the kid just happened to call him back when he was driving around aimlessly on camera. Why do all these important phone calls always happen while they are driving?

Edited November 28, 2018 by Jadzia
Typo

[Blergh]

Sad thing is that the only folks who seemed to know the truth re why John was raised by this  other couple instead of his own bio parents seemed to have all died before either he or his brother could get some answers. Also, it's interesting to note that their parents appear to have been in their mid-30's when they had him rather than being teens as per the usual deal and they WERE able to raise the brother born a year later.  I hope he got some answers but I'm not sure even their father's surviving brother would have known the actual truth or just parroted whatever party line he'd been given. 

[iMonrey]

Quote

The more I think about it the more I think they edited some 2 hour shows down to an hour and didn't do a very good job of it. 

Hmm - you might be onto something. This last one definitely did feel chopped up and missing too much info.

Quote

She talked about her high school boyfriend at the beginning, was she in touch with him still? You'd think if you were going on a show to find your bio kid, you might want to reach out to them and see if they want to join the search. How come the son never once asked about who his dad was? Also, he mentioned having 3 kids, is he married? At first I thought maybe he was gay.

I've noticed a recurring pattern on this show that most of the time, when the birth mother is young and single, there is little mention of the father beyond the initial interview. The child never asks about the father and the mother never mentions him again. I can only guess it's due to legal reasons: i.e., they cannot contact the birth father, or they do and he refuses to participate. You'd think they could tell us that, though, so we're not left wondering. 

I got a gay vibe from him too.

Quote

 I hope he got some answers but I'm not sure even their father's surviving brother would have known the actual truth or just parroted whatever party line he'd been given. 

They could at least ask him what that party line was though. I have a feeling that when info like this is missing it's because it's so horribly unflattering to the deceased they omit it out of respect. 

Edited November 28, 2018 by iMonrey

[TiredMe]

I felt the mom and son in this episode were just instantly connected. Like I had no doubt watching that they formed an immediate bond. I hope I'm right!

I was left just feeling sorry for John.  

[Horrified]

On 11/27/2018 at 11:41 AM, Jadzia said:

so why had he never taken a DNA test before but his son had? And his son just never bothered to message the close match he had already? And why hadn't Wilson messaged him on Ancestry if he was looking?

These Ancestry DNA kits are kind of taking the fun detective work out of this show!

I took an Ancestry DNA test.  It matched me with a "close relative"--a brother that my Mum gave up for adoption 60 years ago.  Only thing is, he's a secret that none of the family, including me, is supposed to know about.  (Long story, uptight WASPS, the 1950's were a different time)  Anyway, I know he exists and I know how to contact him, yet I never have.  On the flip side, he now knows about me and has never contacted me.  Why haven't we contacted each other?  Here's my reason:  what if he doesn't know he's adopted?  I'm not going to be the one to email him and say "hey bro!".  He might be thinking the same thing as me!  So there we are, stuck in limbo.