S04.E11: Milla's Story

[HalcyonDays]

Episode synopsis: A 700-lb. woman can't leave her bed and is completely dependent on her husband and five kids, who struggle to deny her constant requests for junk food.

 

[HalcyonDays]

Just a reminder to everyone to please keep the discussion considerate and respectful, and to limit the unnecessarily body shaming and general shaming overall. Please take the time and read this brief Mod Note before posting. Thank you.

[CousinOliver]

I thought this family really articulated the struggle between knowing you're killing your loved one and wanting to provide the only thing that brings pleasure to your loved one.

[Morgalisa]

Milla somehow managed to raise some very good kids. They were so supportive. The daughter seemed a little resentful watching her mother eat (understandably). It wont be long before the oldest son and his girlfriend need weight loss surgery if they don't get a handle on it.

[Pepperminty]

What a loving family. But at what point does all the care taking become child abuse?

I would like an update on how she is doing.

The son's girlfriend was huge.

[jacksgirl]

I am rooting for Milla. I haven't hate-watched all season. Why is this group more likeable than in past years? Did not listen to much of backstory. Did all kids have same dad?

[OhioMom]

I'm really disappointed in the direction these shows are taking lately.  The patients used to have their surgery around Month 2, and the rest of the show was dedicated to how they were managing with the bypass, and their daily life, etc.  Now, they're not getting surgery until month 12, and who knows what happens after that??? I am more interested in how things progress after the surgery than everything leading up to it.  I don't think it gives the general public a realistic view of these procedures and life after them, only that it is difficult to lose weight and stop unhealthy eating before having one.

[OhioMom]

I am rooting for Milla. I haven't hate-watched all season. Why is this group more likeable than in past years? Did not listen to much of backstory. Did all kids have same dad?

No. Only Esau (oldest son) is their bio son.  She couldn't have kids after him, so they adopted the rest through the years.

[Katt]

ITA, OhioMom, I wanted to see Milla's progress beyond the bypass surgery, too. I think she needed a 2 hour episode. I really want to see a positive follow-up for her. 

[poeticlicensed]

We never even got to the bypass! Wow if any episode was worthy of a follow up or a second part, it's this one. I meant to know what happened

[Guest]

It seems to me that TLC has this show on life support and one of the prongs is already out of the socket and the other one is shooting out sparks. Threadbare storytelling, repetitive themes and barely a care about the subject. Even Dr No seemed to be sleepwalking through it all. I remember Hoarding Buried Alive in its last season, too -- same thing happened with that show.

Milla and her family were indeed lovely but zzzzzzzzzz.

[operalover]

I don't know I found it very disturbing that those kids were raising themselves. Even after they got to Houston. The oldest girl was the mother and the boy the father.  They are dumping her poop every single day! They are changing her diapers. I mean it's sad and permenantly damaging.

 

Mom and Dad don't work so who is paying for this family's bills? Was the State not involved at all when she was bedridden before they went to Houston? If they were getting Social security based on having 5 kids, did not anyone have a peek in there? I guess the show paid for the move. 

 

At the end of the episode she is 600 pounds and still bedridden. She really doesnt need to surgery to keep losing weight as long as the kids keep bringing her salad. It will help her once she gets out of bed though I suppose to control her intake but until then she is helpless. Who goes to the meetings at the school and does all the million things that parents do? How was she able to adopt the 5th kid when she was 500 pounds already? It should have been obvious that she was to die young. Maybe the dad had a lot of money? Maybe she inherited lots of money? It doesn't make ANY sense how our society allowed those kids to do that for 3 years.

[Pepper Mostly]

I thought this family really articulated the struggle between knowing you're killing your loved one and wanting to provide the only thing that brings pleasure to your loved one.

Agreed! The kids were fantastic. They love their mother and want what's best for her, but they're still children when all's said and done. Everyone understood what had to  happen, Milla included. While I was disappointed not to see her get the surgery and see how she did, I thought the episode was a realistic look at what really happens. Milla needed to lose weight on her own, have a lymphodema removed, recover from that, work with a nutritionist and physical therapists so she could get up and try and move on her own. It was only after all that could she be approved for surgery. I appreciated that the show didn't follow the usual formula--patient whines. Patient manages to lose 40 pounds at home, but complains about the diet the whole time. Patient is approved for surgery. Patient loses weight. the end.

 

I liked Milla a lot, loved her interactions with the kids ("you sure you can catch?" LOL!). She didn't treat them like servants. The whole family worked together and seemed to really enjoy each other's company. I wish them all the best.

[Momof2boyz]

No. Only Esau (oldest son) is their bio son.  She couldn't have kids after him, so they adopted the rest through the years.

And all the adopted kids were from drug addicted families I recall.  I was really impressed and touched by that.

I'm really disappointed in the direction these shows are taking lately.  The patients used to have their surgery around Month 2, and the rest of the show was dedicated to how they were managing with the bypass, and their daily life, etc.  Now, they're not getting surgery until month 12, and who knows what happens after that??? I am more interested in how things progress after the surgery than everything leading up to it.  I don't think it gives the general public a realistic view of these procedures and life after them, only that it is difficult to lose weight and stop unhealthy eating before having one.

Yes I agree.  I wish that in these cases, they would make it a double episode and follow them over two years.  Of course, I understand that some of these shows would not air until the following season then.  Or at least, maybe they could do a followup the next season.

One thing that bugged me.  Did anyone notice that when they were in the car and she was lying on the mattress and they almost got in an accident and she rolled over and nearly crushed her little boy, that nobody was wearing a seat belt?  I can understand she cannot fit in a seatbelt, but the little boy was not wearing one and I don't think the driver (I forget who was driving) was either!

[OhioMom]

It seems to me that TLC has this show on life support and one of the prongs is already out of the socket and the other one is shooting out sparks. Threadbare storytelling, repetitive themes and barely a care about the subject. Even Dr No seemed to be sleepwalking through it all. I remember Hoarding Buried Alive in its last season, too -- same thing happened with that show.

Milla and her family were indeed lovely but zzzzzzzzzz.

Is this the last season??!!

[ClareWalks]

One thing that bugged me.  Did anyone notice that when they were in the car and she was lying on the mattress and they almost got in an accident and she rolled over and nearly crushed her little boy, that nobody was wearing a seat belt?  I can understand she cannot fit in a seatbelt, but the little boy was not wearing one and I don't think the driver (I forget who was driving) was either!

 

I couldn't believe that! I mean, they have this 60-lb kid back there with a 750-lb unsecured load (I know she is a human being, but she wasn't belted whatsoever and that is a lot of mass to be rolling around), no seatbelts for anyone...why didn't they have the youngest child in a different car? It was just crazy. It was interesting to see how in some ways Milla is a spectacular mother, and in some ways she is ruining their lives. I guess every mom can relate to that on some level.

[gunderda]

I call shenanigans!!!

 

How did her and her husband afford to adopt 5(?) kids???  And they seemed to live in the nicest houses compared to all other participants on this show. 

 

And I felt like this was the saddest episode I have seen yet.  I feel so freaking bad for those kids. apparently they were born from drug addicts but then to get adopted and grow up in the lifestyle of bathing and cleaning up the pee and poop of your severely mother???  Fucking terrible.  I hope she got her shit together. 

And all the adopted kids were from drug addicted families I recall.  I was really impressed and touched by that.

Yes I agree.  I wish that in these cases, they would make it a double episode and follow them over two years.  Of course, I understand that some of these shows would not air until the following season then.  Or at least, maybe they could do a followup the next season.

One thing that bugged me.  Did anyone notice that when they were in the car and she was lying on the mattress and they almost got in an accident and she rolled over and nearly crushed her little boy, that nobody was wearing a seat belt?  I can understand she cannot fit in a seatbelt, but the little boy was not wearing one and I don't think the driver (I forget who was driving) was either!

 

the moment they showed her son back there with her i thought "omg... if they get in a car accident that boy is going to get killed by his MOTHER" and then an instant later she nearly smashed him.  He should not have been riding back there with her. That was stupid and ignorant. 

[ClareWalks]

I call shenanigans!!!

 

How did her and her husband afford to adopt 5(?) kids???  And they seemed to live in the nicest houses compared to all other participants on this show. 

 

There are far fewer costs associated with adopting older children out of foster care than adopting healthy infants. They may not have had to pay anything for fees. But yeah, they definitely seemed to be doing better financially than most, which seemed odd. Not sure if the husband is still able to work? Or if the oldest son has a good job and helps out?

[Ocean Chick]

Oh my.  It was soooooo nice to have an episode with a minimum of whining and excuses, but those poor children.  Who knows how many years they've been having to do more than their fair share of housework and caring for their parents.  And dad certainly didn't work, as he was pretty much confined to a wheelchair, except for the little bits where he could use a walker.  And yes, girlfriend of oldest son is on the fast track to having to have surgery herself, poor thing.  I'm glad they FINALLY should a nutritionist teaching the ENTIRE FAMILY about basic guidelines for eating.  I hope the rest of the family starts adopting the guidelines, even though the non-bio kids looked to be normal weights.  But excess salt, carbs/sugar and fat is not good for any body, even naturally skinny folks.  I wonder how much fresh fruit and veg those kids eat?  And if they ever got enough calcium to build strong bones to last a lifetime.

 

I hope we get a good follow up on Milla next year - I want to see her get the surgery and lose enough weight to get healthy and take care of herself and her husband.  Free the kids!  And yes, it was so nice to see kids who loved their parents like that.

[OhioMom]

I call shenanigans!!!

 

How did her and her husband afford to adopt 5(?) kids???  And they seemed to live in the nicest houses compared to all other participants on this show. 

 

And I felt like this was the saddest episode I have seen yet.  I feel so freaking bad for those kids. apparently they were born from drug addicts but then to get adopted and grow up in the lifestyle of bathing and cleaning up the pee and poop of your severely mother???  Fucking terrible.  I hope she got her shit together. 

 

the moment they showed her son back there with her i thought "omg... if they get in a car accident that boy is going to get killed by his MOTHER" and then an instant later she nearly smashed him.  He should not have been riding back there with her. That was stupid and ignorant. 

As far as adopting kids and $$ -- I know that many times, before adopting parents will be foster parents.  I believe that foster parents are given a monthly stipend, and once you adopt, that goes away.  I don't know what it would have cost to adopt, but I have known of people who were foster parents, for the most part, because of the $$.  Not saying that all foster parents are that way, but there are bad apples in every walk of life.

I call shenanigans!!!

 

How did her and her husband afford to adopt 5(?) kids???  And they seemed to live in the nicest houses compared to all other participants on this show. 

 

And I felt like this was the saddest episode I have seen yet.  I feel so freaking bad for those kids. apparently they were born from drug addicts but then to get adopted and grow up in the lifestyle of bathing and cleaning up the pee and poop of your severely mother???  Fucking terrible.  I hope she got her shit together. 

 

the moment they showed her son back there with her i thought "omg... if they get in a car accident that boy is going to get killed by his MOTHER" and then an instant later she nearly smashed him.  He should not have been riding back there with her. That was stupid and ignorant. 

I am such a skeptic anymore.  I wonder if the producers set it up. The "near miss", I mean.  For drama's sake.

[Cherrio]

I was disturbed that the children had to take care of her.   That is child abuse imo.  No child, no matter what age should have to do the kind of things they were doing. Even the shopping, having the buy all the garbage she demanded.     What on earth was the youngest child doing in the room while she was being bathed?

    Seems like these children came from a drug addiction situation to another bad situation.    It's very sad.

 

                There was yet another (Penny)  dinner scene where they were all eating a meal on her bed which also is her bathroom.  Disgusting.

[Guest]

Is this the last season??!!

I don't think so...I was just speculating. :) I think it mostly has to do with how rushed and dull the last season of Hoarding Buried Alive was and how the production of this season of 600 Pound reminds me of that. They never announced HBA was canceled...they just never put it back on their schedule.

They need to put some hateful jerk like Pauline or Penny on STAT.

[raiderred1]

Again, another person talking about how upset and sad they are that their children have to be burdened.  Please sing that tired old song somewhere else.  I felt incredibly sorry for those kids.  It's not like she has cancer or some other debilitating disease with which she has no control.  She kept going and going and putting more burden on her husband and then her kids.  I can definitely see the daughter carrying a lot of resentment into her adulthood which she has every right to do.  I also don't understand how she was able to keep adopting at such a high weight?

And I too, want to know how the bypass went and if she is now able to get around.  I thought the way they put this episode together was lazy and vague.

[Barb23]

I was disturbed that the children had to take care of her.   That is child abuse imo.  No child, no matter what age should have to do the kind of things they were doing. Even the shopping, having the buy all the garbage she demanded.     What on earth was the youngest child doing in the room while she was being bathed?

    Seems like these children came from a drug addiction situation to another bad situation.    It's very sad.

 

                There was yet another (Penny)  dinner scene where they were all eating a meal on her bed which also is her bathroom.  Disgusting.

I thought the same thing esp the cooking in the bedroom. They even had the electric fry pan in there. I thought Milla was going to be another Penny but she surprised me -- she realized what a burden she was on her family which Penny didn't seem to grasp.

I call shenanigans on the first time they tried to get her to stand at the hospital. I think the group of hospital employees they had to help her weren't physical therapists (which she definitely needed) just random workers they found. They basically stood there & didn't try to help her. They didn't even have a walker or something for her to grab & lean on. (The scale was there on a later attempt.) It seemed they just expected her to stand on her own & take off walking after being in bed for 2 years. No wonder she was dizzy. They should have had her just sit on the side of the bed at first to get her bearings.

I also wonder about getting the EMT's/EMS to come to help her get out of bed at home as frequently as Dr Now wanted her to. (Every day for a month, at least two times a day.) Are the EMT's from a private company? I can't imagine the state /county provided 911 EMTs being allowed to do this when it's not a medical emergency. Do the paramedics do this for free? TLC covers the cost?

This was brought up in last week's episode & it was same for Milla. She barely got on her feet to stand for the first time in 2 years & Dr Now exclaimed she was approved for surgery. IIRC, she didn't even take any steps, she just stood for a second & now her body is miraculously ready. I don't get it except it's for TV. Also, I can't believe these people don't have more medical problems (like blood clots/embolisms or cardiac issues) from being off their feet & not moving for so long.

I can't wait to see how Milla does with the surgery. With her family support, I'm hoping she will do well.

[stillhere1900]

I'll have to wait for a repeat because I missed almost all of it.  How did the lymphodema get that large without it being removed yrs ago ?

This is the first time that I've seen this show that didn't have conclusion.

[raiderred1]

I also wonder about getting the EMT's/EMS to come to help her get out of bed at home as frequently as Dr Now wanted her to. (Every day for a month, at least two times a day.) Are the EMT's from a private company? I can't imagine the state /county provided 911 EMTs being allowed to do this when it's not a medical emergency. Do the paramedics do this for free? TLC covers the cost?

 

 

Yes!  I wondered the same thing.  I'm a Texan and do not want my EMT's or tax dollars out daily trying to help a woman stand if it is not life-threatening.  They need to hire their own private service for that help.

[Typhoo]

  How did the lymphodema get that large without it being removed yrs ago ?

 

I have 2 lymphodemas on my legs and the more you eat the bigger they get. They do grow.

If you lose weight they shrink, as mine have been doing lately but the skin still needs to be surgically removed later on.

[Typhoo]

I call shenanigans on the first time they tried to get her to stand at the hospital. I think the group of hospital employees they had to help her weren't physical therapists (which she definitely needed) just random workers they found. They basically stood there & didn't try to help her. They didn't even have a walker or something for her to grab & lean on. (The scale was there on a later attempt.) It seemed they just expected her to stand on her own & take off walking after being in bed for 2 years. No wonder she was dizzy. They should have had her just sit on the side of the bed at first to get her bearings.

This was brought up in last week's episode & it was same for Milla. She barely got on her feet to stand for the first time in 2 years & Dr Now exclaimed she was approved for surgery. IIRC, she didn't even take any steps, she just stood for a second & now her body is miraculously ready. I don't get it except it's for TV. Also, I can't believe these people don't have more medical problems (like blood clots/embolisms or cardiac issues) from being off their feet & not moving for so long.

 

Dr. Now pisses me off. She should have had Physio therapists there AND a walker in place before she was asked to stand. I was bedridden for 2 months last year and when I was allowed to finally get up out of bed I was started off sitting on the side of the bed holding a garbage can because I was so dizzy I was having dry heaves. Dr. Now seriously needs to be bedbound for a while so he can understand you just cannot jump up out of bed and walk. You have to work at it gradually. His bedside manner sucks.

[MrsChappy]

I said I was going to quit this show, but here I am.

 

This was actually one of the more functional families, in a way. most of them didn't have the typical slack-jawed face many have. 

 

I wondered the same thing about EMS coming all the time to help her stand. Who pays for that?

[Rancide]

I imagine both Milla and her husband, and probably at least the youngest kid (unless I'm mistaken and he's not really special needs) receive disability.  If Milla and/or her husband ever worked, that amount of money, while not overly generous, would probably provide more financial support for the family than we often see on this show.  Even if it's just the two adults and the youngest kid, that could total somewhere in the rang of $2500-$3000/month.  Not rich, but probably enough to be considered at least lower middle class, particularly in a low cost-of-living area like Houston.  Also, the oldest kids were old enough that may have had jobs as well.  

 

I did not quite understand how Milla lost 50 lbs in her month in the hospital, 50 months in her first month at home, and then only 50 lbs in the 10 months that followed.  50 lbs in 10 months is a pretty reasonable total for someone who was only 50 lbs overweight to begin with.  And that doesn't even take into account that she had... 40?  lbs surgically removed.  

 

It seems like Milla basically stopped losing weight once she had her first surgery, yet we only heard praise for her "efforts" from Dr. Now, no lectures about how she wasn't committed to the process, no voiceovers about how Milla has been "trying" but has "fallen back on some of her old habits."

 

Lots of unanswered questions in this episode.  Very disappointing.  Especially when they seemed like such a nice family.

[operalover]

The ten year would not get disability at age ten for being special needs. Once he turns 18 if he really can't work and has no assets he could get SSI but not as a child.  Possibly the dad had savings and retirement plans in place when they decided to adopt another kid.  AT that point he was probably healthy and making enough to support 5 kids. Obviously, not now but maybe it was good enough that he saved some and gets a decent amount of disability. Do they get some money for being on the show? Maybe the show pays for the apartment? so many questions so little answered!

[littlemommy]

I think allthe things that have already been said. Poor kids, Dr. Now wtf, etc. I did want to say how thrilled I was to hear one of the participant say "Don't help me, let me try" after they were attempting to turn things around.

[flappa1016]

I suspect that the first time we saw her try to stand was after she had been practicing by just sitting on the edge of the bed.  Really, how riveting would it have been to watch her sit on the edge of the bed repeatedly over the course of several days?  On one of the standing attempts (I don't remember which one), I thought for sure she was going to fall down, and the assistants were just standing there.  I was screaming at my tv for them to pay attention and give her some stability!

 

At least she wasn't actually doing the cooking *in* her bed, like Penny.  Her family members brought a table in to put the food and cooking appliances on.  A bit more sanitary, IMO.

[OhioMom]

Dr. Now pisses me off. She should have had Physio therapists there AND a walker in place before she was asked to stand. I was bedridden for 2 months last year and when I was allowed to finally get up out of bed I was started off sitting on the side of the bed holding a garbage can because I was so dizzy I was having dry heaves. Dr. Now seriously needs to be bedbound for a while so he can understand you just cannot jump up out of bed and walk. You have to work at it gradually. His bedside manner sucks.

In defense of Dr. Now, we are seeing an edited version of events.  Who knows what went on by that bedside that we never saw?

[non sequitur]

Milla's husband did not seem to be very involved with anything. I know he had serious health issues also.

 

Her children cared so much and actually wanted to help.  It would be interesting to see how growing up in that environment affects them in later life.

 

 

[MsVixen]

I normally don't mind the beginning scenes where they show the person showering/being bathed or dressing.  This show had me cringing.  The way the lymphodema was shown between her knees had me thinking of an abnormal penis and that it was connected to both legs.  I was really relieved to see that it was only on the one leg and I can see how it impeded her walking.

What I want to know is what were the other dark patches on her skin.  She had blotches on her backside.

 

Also, have I missed an episode?  They show a woman in the beginning who is saying something is broken and crying not to leave her.  She looks like she has a dimpled chin.  Has her story been told?

Edited March 14, 2016 by MsVixen

[notyrmomma]

 

Also, have I missed an episode?  They show a woman in the beginning who is saying something is broken and crying not to leave her.  She looks like she has a dimpled chin.  Has her story been told?

No, I think we have her story and one more guy.  By the way, that "broken" thing to me appears to be a toilet.....

 

By the way, I wanted to like Milla a lot because I have a soft spot for people who adopt children, but it was just frustrating that she didn't lose much weight after her lymphodema surgery before her gastric bypass.  

[gunderda]

Her kids were still giving her pretty large portions. That salad they showed her eating was pretty big, even though it was healthy.  I bet she wasn't getting salads of that size in the hospital

[Lightning]

I would love to see a second episode on Milla after her surgery.  She seems like such a nice person.   Most of the people on this season have been a lot more likeable than some on past seasons.  I hope there is a follow-up for all of them. 

[aliya]

OK, let's assume these people have some kind of assistance / disability money coming in. Wouldn't that also cover a nursing aide for at least part of the day?  I can.not imagine having my kids, my male kids, wash me like that.

 

Once again, I have to ask myself, how do people become immobile? Think of Teretha - one day she is going around Detroit giving lessons and then she is bed bound. Yes, I know it didn't happen overnight, but at some point you can walk and function and then you can't. There are two very large men who take the same shuttle I do. I bet they could stay home due to their size, but they make it out to work every day. Does it just get to be too much to keep functioning upright?  Are there additional health issues besides obesity that make it difficult to function? And then from there, we wind up with the terrible news stories of people welded to their chairs. I'm just trying to understand.

[Typhoo]

In defense of Dr. Now, we are seeing an edited version of events.  Who knows what went on by that bedside that we never saw?

I could probably tell you what happened because I went through it last year for 5 and a half months after I became bedbound for 2 months during my hospital stay.

[OhioMom]

OK, let's assume these people have some kind of assistance / disability money coming in. Wouldn't that also cover a nursing aide for at least part of the day?  I can.not imagine having my kids, my male kids, wash me like that.

 

Once again, I have to ask myself, how do people become immobile? Think of Teretha - one day she is going around Detroit giving lessons and then she is bed bound. Yes, I know it didn't happen overnight, but at some point you can walk and function and then you can't. There are two very large men who take the same shuttle I do. I bet they could stay home due to their size, but they make it out to work every day. Does it just get to be too much to keep functioning upright?  Are there additional health issues besides obesity that make it difficult to function? And then from there, we wind up with the terrible news stories of people welded to their chairs. I'm just trying to understand.

I wonder if some type of injury happens that keeps them in bed for a week or two, and then it's just downhill from there.

[ClareWalks]

OK, let's assume these people have some kind of assistance / disability money coming in. Wouldn't that also cover a nursing aide for at least part of the day?  I can.not imagine having my kids, my male kids, wash me like that.

 

Once again, I have to ask myself, how do people become immobile? Think of Teretha - one day she is going around Detroit giving lessons and then she is bed bound. Yes, I know it didn't happen overnight, but at some point you can walk and function and then you can't. There are two very large men who take the same shuttle I do. I bet they could stay home due to their size, but they make it out to work every day. Does it just get to be too much to keep functioning upright?  Are there additional health issues besides obesity that make it difficult to function? And then from there, we wind up with the terrible news stories of people welded to their chairs. I'm just trying to understand.

 

I assume it's a sort of "use it or lose it" scenario. The guys on your commute have stayed somewhat active and are therefore strong enough to lug the weight around. There are some really obese guys I've known (400+ lb) who are really, really strong. Put them on a treadmill and it's all over, but at least they can get from point A to point B and work a sedentary job. I'm not sure exactly what health issues lead to the immobility of some of the folks on this show, but we have seen lots of growths and flesh-eating bacteria and crazy shit like that...scary stuff.

[ethalfrida]

Yes, it is very difficult to pinpoint. I know I mentioned my friend who was arounnd 500 lbbs, who passed away a couple of years ago. He had knee problems but never stopped moving, driving,  clening, working long hours. His diet, I just realized was not like the ones on the show. We always went out to sushi, Mediterranean restaurants, etc. His portions were normal. However, in discussing this with my nutritionist she guessed that he probably had secret eating habits because sushi and sashimi won't drive weight upwards to 600 lbs.

 

Then the tragic thing is last week his 31 year old daughter passed away in bed from a stroke. She was at least 400 lbs. Now, I wonder if maybe voicing my concern over her weight would have helped. I know her father developed his habits early in life because he told me food and art kept him out of gangs. Indeed, he worked for some legends even during his teen years. But nothing was enough to break those older habits.

[Rancide]

Once again, I have to ask myself, how do people become immobile? Think of Teretha - one day she is going around Detroit giving lessons and then she is bed bound. Yes, I know it didn't happen overnight, but at some point you can walk and function and then you can't. There are two very large men who take the same shuttle I do. I bet they could stay home due to their size, but they make it out to work every day. Does it just get to be too much to keep functioning upright?  Are there additional health issues besides obesity that make it difficult to function? And then from there, we wind up with the terrible news stories of people welded to their chairs. I'm just trying to understand.

 

I can't speak about gaining weight to the point of immobility, but your body can really just reach a breaking point.  I spent a few months a few years ago on a medication that caused to gain perhaps 30 lbs over a period of about 6 months.  I never stopped going to the gym during that time period, but my normal treadmill workout that I'd been doing for years gradually became just not possible.  One day I could do it fine, a little bit down the road I could still do it but it was a lot harder, and one day I just couldn't do it at all.  I either had to ease up on the speed or run less far.  It was not physically possible for me to complete no matter how much I wanted to.  Once I got off the medication, I lost the weight I was able to go back to my old workout just fine.  

 

I figure it's probably the same way with becoming immobile.  One day you're able to go out all day and do your job and go home.  Then it becomes a huge struggle (swollen feet, needing to take more breaks, aching joints) but still technically possible.  Then one day you just can't.  Plus, with some of these folks, I can imagine a situation where there is a precipitating event that sends them to bed and then they just never get up.  Like, they get a knee injury and go to bed for a week to "rest" it, or they get the flu and are bed-bound for a couple of weeks, and then that's that.  I doubt anyone goes from working an 8-hour day one day to pee-pee pads the next.  Probably more like transitioning to being in bed except for going to the bathroom, then needing help to get up to go to the bathroom, then starting to use the pee pads in case there's no one around to help you go to the bathroom, and then just not even bothering.  

[IvySpice]

 

How did the lymphodema get that large without it being removed yrs ago ?

Most surgeons won't operate on a 400+ pound person. The anesthesia is too dangerous and it just makes everything more difficult. So it's possible she tried to get someone to remove it, but she couldn't qualify for surgery.

[Scorpiosunshine]

At first I was put off by the kids having to do so much, including things no kid should have to do for their mother. In the end, though, I just couldn't dislike Milla.

She knew she had to change and she did. That's what we want someone to do when they're screwing up. Yes, there may be consequences, but those consequences can't get better until the behavior changes. It's a good start, and it gives the family a fighting chance to live normally. As much love as I saw there, I think that they may be OK, assuming Milla keeps moving forward.

The kids were always loving on and smiling with the parents, they were all always saying "I love you", and all of them were genuinely affectionate and caring as a family. It made me smile thinking that those kids feel loved and have so much love to give, despite their bad start in life, and despite being caregivers to a deathly obese mom. That says a lot about Milla and her husband.

I'm not saying they get a free pass or that it's OK, but maybe she was too ashamed to look outside of the household for help.

No, kids shouldn't have to clean Mom's squanch, even when they don't mind (but still don't particularly want to do it). And though they had every right to be resentful, they weren't. That tells me a great deal, and it shows that Milla and her husband did something right.

Again, the kids deserve better, but at least the dysfunction is changing now rather then when it may be too late. I'm just glad the last memory those kids have of mom isn't one of performing her personal hygiene.

Yes, there were gatherings in Mom's room, but I saw an awful lot of interactions and togetherness, quite different from Dreadful Penny and her ways.

As far as who is paying for it : I don't know their situation prior to the disabilities, but I imagine that at least at one time they had resources other than state money. Maybe they saved, maybe not, but I'm sure they paid in along the way.

They had a nice comfy home, tidy yet modest. Their cars weren't luxury and their furniture was also modest. If some of my tax dollars go to subsidize a family who adopts and loves 4 children who may not otherwise have had a chance, well... good. I can live with that.

My tax dollars subsidize a lot of things I don't use, I get very few tax credits, and I pay in a lot yet overall use few resources. I don't mind someone else picking up my leftovers in that department.

I guess it all sort of evens out,though it's never going to be exact when it comes to things like that. That's what I'll tell myself, simply because I don't mind.

I'm happy to see 4 foster children loved and cared for by truly loving and humanly imperfect people.

That being said, I don't live in Texas, so I mean my hypothetical tax dollars, LOL! I'm sure we have our own Millas in my state, too! :-)

Edited March 14, 2016 by Scorpiosunshine

[Armchair Critic]

WTF? Her young sons were bathing her? Just NO!

[OSM Mom]

Her daughter too. She was the one who washed Millas "private parts" as she said. Just so much wrong there.

[Hero]

I was grossed out when they all were washing her without wearing gloves, especially her daughter.