S03.E04: Sex, Lies And Volleyball / Photo Fini

[Primetimer]

When Steve thinks Brandon's horning in on a girl Steve likes, Steve's mullet mane gets very angry.

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[Primetimer]

And the shocking proof that her modelling career was a thing that almost happened is all over the Visual Aids for S03.E04.

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[SoupThrower]

There are so many things wrong with Donna being a model. So many. Even more than Steve's mullet and Brooke just being Brooke.

 

Like it's Donna being a model. That's more unbelievable than well actually I can't think of anything. I guess Andrea being a high school student? I guess they didn't pick Brenda because she's 'French'. 

 

I swear Donna's 'stupid' is like calling Marty 'chicken'. Then we have the 'Ugly American' thing. 

 

Also found it weird that the actress who plays Nikki is 7 years older than Brian then I remembered where I've seen here before, so yeah. Also what the heck was the script talking about? There was no remake of Casablanca ever. 

 

Was Andrea in this episode?

Edited January 4, 2016 by SoupThrower

[WoodyCee]

The podcast isn't showing up in my iPhone podcast app feed.

[sandwoman]

It isn't showing in mine either. Such a bummer because I always look forward to listening to this show on my morning commute.

[StatMom]

Of course, the French guy is named "Pierre." Because he's Frrronch, oui oui.

[MostlyC]

Oh, I'd forgotten the sartorial choices of Pierre and his stylist.  Donna looks like she belongs in an uber conservative part of Texas with that red cowboy/so very patriotic get-up.  Also, what is that weird flower/white ruffly shirt she wears when she tells Brenda that she's dropping out of school to become a supermodel.

 

This was also the episode where "Damn, I wish I was your lover" made it's first appearance.  I weep at the loss of that song due to whatever.  I thought it was perfect for Kelly and Dylan with their soulful, tortured looks.

 

How old is Brooke?  She's too old to be in high school, even by Andrea standards.

 

Sars, Dave and Tara, your color commentary is awesome, as always.  If it's any consolation Dave, I took one class of french before I chickened out and went back to Latin.

[KateeBar]

Neither episode 3 nor episode 4 are showing in my podcast feed. So, I'm totally not listening to it on my work computer (while working, at least).

This was always one of my favorites - the stupid modeling, Brenda's perfect hair, the beginning of the DECEPTION. All of it was just so precious to me. Nikki was one of the better girlfriends too, IMHO.

[David T. Cole]

Feed fixed. Refreshing iTunes (desktop) or waiting (mobile) should do the trick.

[WoodyCee]

Thank you Dave! It's fixed!

[txhorns79]

How old is Brooke?  She's too old to be in high school, even by Andrea standards.

 

The actress was about 25 at the time.  I think her hairstyle and clothing choices conspired to make her seem much older than she was.  Hilariously, Gabrielle Carteris was actually seven years older than the actress playing Brooke. 

[Narla]

Ugggh. Alexandra Wilson, who plays the racist girlfriend, was on Another World and for whatever reason (I honestly can't figure it out now) I loved her and her character -- I vividly remember being excited when she turned up on 90210, and then having to deal with a) her hair and b) her horrible character... I'm not sure I ever saw her on TV again.

[MissEwa]

I always thought the Summer of Deception went on for a lot longer but IMDB says there's only have one Paris episode left, so I guess not - although I'm very glad that means only one episode of Reeek (before he shows up in BevHills).

Every time a clip feature's David's "music" I collapse into a puddle of cringe-laughter so I have no idea what you guys are actually saying about those scenes. It's so awful, and his singing? No. No no no.

Never noticed Donna's eating before but now I can't look away. Why is she jamming her nose in there like that? I kind of get it with some pastries that there's a piece of fruit or something on the top that you eat first because you don't want it to fall off but you don't shove your face in it like you're bobbing for apples, you pick it off with the fingers on your other hand. Even if she hadn't eaten a pastry before, surely someone in the crew would have and been able to demonstrate? And I feel like the bit where she's eating while being photographed is supposed to be a bit sexy (whipped cream and all) but it's just so weird and gross.

And now I really want a pastry.

Back in the day I really liked Nikki when she comes back as - spoiler - Brandon's girlfriend. From memory she really liked him but rolled her eyes at him a lot, especially about the not-dancing stuff, which he definitely deserves. I'm sure I'll be disappointed because I have been about absolutely everything else I remember liking about this show but at least it will be amusing. Thank you Sarah and Tara for this podcast, it makes the realisation that my thirteen-year-old self had terrible ideas about everything so much easier to deal with.

[Hollysdower]

The most memorable thing to me after watching this episode today was Donna's "fashion show". Just awful. And her entire career as a model seems to take place over just a few days! Come on, we've seen Tyra's show, we know modelling doesn't work that way!

[EAG46]

In what universe would a short, whiny, know-it-all twerp like Brandon get women away from a tall, athletic, filthy rich, amiable goofball like Steve?!

[gesundheit]

Ugggh. Alexandra Wilson, who plays the racist girlfriend, was on Another World and for whatever reason (I honestly can't figure it out now) I loved her and her character -- I vividly remember being excited when she turned up on 90210, and then having to deal with a) her hair and b) her horrible character... I'm not sure I ever saw her on TV again.

Interestingly enough, she also played April on that soap Loving, and was part of one of my favorite couples -- April and Ned (played by Luke Perry!).

 

She seemed so lovely back then. I mean being cast as a bigot isn't her fault, but that mushroom soccer mom hair sure is! (Okay, maybe it was for a role. I'll try to be generous here.)

[Kristen]

Every time Jason Priestley says "babes", I want to jump into a time machine, go back in time, and kick him in the berries. Gah!

[MissEwa]

In what universe would a short, whiny, know-it-all twerp like Brandon get women away from a tall, athletic, filthy rich, amiable goofball like Steve?!

I'd agree with you but the reverse-hair-grab-with-giant-watch is marginally less uncomfortable to watch than Steve's 'let's do it, let's go for it' sex voice from the twins episode. I'm okay with Brandon getting all the girls if it means we never have to hear that again.  

[Judi Sunshine]

Nikki is the best!!! Love her.

[SoupThrower]

Plus Brandon does have a nice smile.

Did Donna even get a contract? Did she get paid? Wouldn't people care if she ditched the program or ate pastry like that? How quick is the mail if David could know about her modelling career? Was the photographer just standing there at 'Paris'? Was Pierre really a proper agent?

Donna's giggle irks. I forgot how annoying it was.

Eugh David's singing. It is the worst in that it is bad but gets stuck in your head.

Nikki is awesome except for the fact that she doesn't like sport.

Two more episodes to Racist Brooke and one more to Reeeeeek.

[Pogojoco]

Nikki also wins the prize for looking like a teenager, rather than 35. You know.

I saw Brooke's hair and thought "She's racist." And yeah, she is.

I Want Your Sex is a great song. And yeah, George Michael was, at one time, pseudo-straight. The chick in the video was his girlfriend. I remember from Pop Up Video.

 

It's also hilarious that Doherty looks breathtaking in these episodes and it's the producer's daughter getting the fake modeling attention on the show. 

 

Kelly lecturing David on cheating is rich. Rich. 

Edited January 5, 2016 by Pogojoco

[kite-wombat]

Nikki is the best!!! Love her.

 

I think Nikki was probably my favourite 90210 character ever...

 

Possibly because they avoided giving her "....stuff". Somehow the character even survived her later choice of boyfriend and remained cool. 

[Eldemarge]

Bebz. Hot Bebz.

In other news, OMG finally got the "yuh-suh-preshuzz-to-meeeee" song on the podcast! Ridiculous Keyboard David is the best David.

[Racj82]

In what universe would a short, whiny, know-it-all twerp like Brandon get women away from a tall, athletic, filthy rich, amiable goofball like Steve?!

Seeing as Jason/Brandon was one of the biggest crushes at the time, probably this one. I know Brandon is/can be a douche but let's not ignore Steve's douchebaggery. Steve just happens to be more charming.

This may sound out of pocket but I have to give the porn parody for 90210 props. I specifically seeked it out to see the bad acting and scenarios they set up. I had a good laugh at how every single female kept ignoring Steve for Dylan or Brandon. Little did I realize that they were just paying attention to how much of a sad sack Steve was with the ladies. At least it got better in college.

That parody is also the only place you can see Steve and Andrea hook up. She also got ignored by the dudes in it.

[AndySmith]

This is when 90210 becomes great for me. I know many think season 2 is golden, but from here on out and for the next 2 or 3 seasons, its just a great frothy fun teen soap.

Poor Steve, almost always losing the girl to Brandon.

Donna's career in fashion is ridiculous. But then again, this is Donna we're talking about.

Too bad Andrea and Brooke didn't interact more. They could have discussed where to get the best deals on mom jeans, or the hottest hair style trends 30-year old women were getting.

David's music is hilarious, the gift that keeps on giving.

I know we're all supposed to boo and hiss and Dylan and Kelly but...I loved it. The Brenda/Dylan/Kelly triangle is one of my favorite triangles ever. And Luke and Jennie had some great chemistry.

Edited January 5, 2016 by AndySmith

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

Man, in that GIF where Kelly closes the doors and turns to Dylan, he's looking at her like he's a starving stick insect and she's the bug equivalent of prime rib.

[gesundheit]

I know we're all supposed to boo and hiss and Dylan and Kelly but...I loved it. The Brenda/Dylan/Kelly triangle is one of my favorite triangles ever. And Luke and Jennie had some great chemistry.

Fully agreed. And it's the main story arc the show is remembered for, really, so it was certainly effective in getting people to tune in! The summer storyline goes quicker than I remember, but they stretched it out for maximum effect once everyone went back to school. It was smart television (not, of course, the actual dialogue most of the time.... but the story) and surely is a major reason they stayed on the air. Hell, they kept that thing going for years by reuniting Dylan and Brenda offscreen after they'd both left and then reuniting Dylan and Kelly when Luke Perry came back. (Not immediately, of course, but they dangled it from his very first scene back.)

[Tooch]

I think the reason I hate the Summer of Deception and everything that follows is that it is the total end of likability for Dylan and Kelly as characters.

 

I hate everything about Dylan from here on out. The cheating itself is gross, particularly the way he acts like it's no big at all even as Kelly's tearing herself down about how Brenda is "someone we both love" (pfff whatevs bitch). The being with Brenda when she gets back and putting it all on Kelly is gross--he was basically like "well my girlfriend's back and I will be with her indefinitely UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO SAY SOMETHING!" which is unfair to both women involved. The way he acts like Brenda has no right to be upset about him running off to date Kelly after their breakup. The way he snots "hey you broke up with ME remember?" right in front of Kelly, making it clear they wouldn't even be together if Brenda hadn't pulled the trigger. The way he imagines his future with both of them as the worst possible nightmare. The way he YELLS at Brenda during the big confession about the Summer of Deception. Like dude, you just told her you cheated on her with her best friend. She's ALLOWED to get pissed!

 

I just can't with him. Also Kelly is sulky and annoying from here on out, their relationship is pure torture right from the start, and then she turns self-righteous as fucking Brandon for the remaining seasons.

 

Alllll this being said....I do love the melodrama. I am imagining myself as I was, dying over this week in, week out at the age of 12 and I love it!

[Sarah D. Bunting]

...And now I'm trying to figure out how to put the sexy-siren guitar riff over Animal Planet footage of a mantis embracing a leaf.

[jenrising]

Oh, agreed. At the time it was such great television, but now when I watch these episodes it just makes me angry because of how awful Dylan and Kelly are for the entire future of the show. 

[Bob Lassiter]

Hee!!! Please make that happen Sarah!

[Bing]

If I could like MuuMuuChainsmoker's comment a million times, I would. A million virtual thumbs!

[Princess Sparkle]

In what universe would a short, whiny, know-it-all twerp like Brandon get women away from a tall, athletic, filthy rich, amiable goofball like Steve?!

You know, as an adult I intellectually agree with you, but as someone who loved Brandon when the show was on, I have to say that on a purely physical level, Jason Priestley, short as he may be, is insanely goodlooking. And sadly, I can speak from experience, that as a teenager, you can overlook annoying braying and shortness for a really handsome face. However, as an adult, I completely appreciate the commitment Ian Ziering put into his fitness regimen for season 3.

As an aside - a friend of mine met Jason Priestley a couple years ago, and said that even with his face reconstructed, he was still so handsome in person that she got flustered when she tried to say something to him.

[Kierstyn]

My husband has an amazing theory about Donna's weird eating style. He thinks that they probably had to do a million takes, and it would have been easy to fill in the middle of a tart shell and pop a cherry on top for each new take. But if Donna chomps down on the pastry shell, then they have to get a whole new one. One can imagine someone with Tori Spelling's "stuff" skills needing more than a dozen takes on a scene, and maybe they only bought a dozen tarts.

[txhorns79]

David's music is hilarious, the gift that keeps on giving.

 

I'm already having nightmares concerning Sue Scanlon's screeching "wooos!" whenever David "performs." 

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

*cues the "Let's Get It On"

 

[SoupThrower]

I'm already having nightmares concerning Sue Scanlon's screeching "wooos!" whenever David "performs." 

 

She looked so young. Ahh she was 5 years younger than Brian which means she was 14/15 when that episode came on. :|

 

Nothing can beat 'Be My Love'. That song will always be awesomely painful. 

[AndySmith]

[LucyHoneychrrch]

I am desperately ashamed to admit that I have some feelings about Steve's volleyball moves.

[gesundheit]

I hate everything about Dylan from here on out. 

See now, I would agree with you, but in the post-college years I became a Dylan fan for life with this one small act: 

 

So he gets a retroactive lifetime pass from me!

[desertflower]

Brenda/Shannen really does look her best in the Paris eps. Amazing hair, perfect makeup, and most of her outfits are super cute too.

Dana Barron (Nikki) barely aged between the time she was in Vacation and appeared here, despite it being like 10 years. Funny that she was older but still looked more like a teenager than the rest of the gang.

Yeah it's a tough call between which song is more odious, "Be My Love" or "Precious to Me." I'm gonna have to give it to Be My Love just for the awful faces he makes while singing it when he performs it at the beach club.

Edited January 7, 2016 by desertflower

[desertflower]

Donna and her tart reminded me that she is not the only one who has had weird food scenes. I noticed one with Brenda in season 4....they are getting ready to leave on a ski trip and Brenda is eating out of a peanut butter jar with her finger (enjoy my germs, family!) She gets a call from Donna, and keeps picking at it during the phone call. But the best part is when they grab their bags and head out the door, and off she goes with the open jar of peanut butter STILL in her hand. I'm guessing Shannen just forgot to put it down, but it's funny to see her just walk off with it. I guess poor Jim and Cindy won't be having any pb&j while the kids are gone.

[carrier76]

God, this means we are super close to the episode when Brandon meets that homeless veteran at the beach club. Every time we see him annoying "patriotic" music plays, and it is awful, ESPECIALLY when he comes to the Walsh at Thanksgiving and teaches everyone Life Lessons.

[AndySmith]

Brenda/Shannen really does look her best in the Paris eps

 

I always liked her look the most during the first season of college the most. Especially more during the fist half, before she gets her new haircut and color.

[Sarah D. Bunting]

 

just for the awful faces he makes

 

Poor BAG, his voice changed on him and he's trying to R&B-falsetto it up. Thus the cube-poo faces, which are hilarrible.

[Tooch]

I always liked her look the most during the first season of college the most. Especially more during the fist half, before she gets her new haircut and color.

 

Funny, I'd say the opposite! While her Peak Hair Period was definitely late junior year and the summer in Paris, I loved her look around the time she was auditioning for the Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. The first half of that college season her hair was a bit dark and goth-like to me, with the color and the skinny eyebrows.

[Racj82]

I honestly remember nothing of Brenda from the college years except for the dance party where her and David one. That is because it exists on youtube. I remember being hardcore into Garth around this time period as a kid but now it's really not that clear. Shannen is gorgeous. Not that she was ever ugly, I just didn't pay as much attention to her beauty when I was younger.

 

 

Poor BAG, his voice changed on him and he's trying to R&B-falsetto it up. Thus the cube-poo faces, which are hilarrible.

The cube-poo faces from the episode where racist Brooke comes out in full force made me want to curl up in a ball from embarrassment.

[danielleksh]

If the podcast ends (hopefully not) after the Brenda years, I would love to see a special edition that recaps the episodes where Donna is stalked and held hostage at CUTV. I think it joins this episode in the top 5 worst Donna (and Brandon) moments.

[SoupThrower]

If the podcast ends (hopefully not) after the Brenda years, I would love to see a special edition that recaps the episodes where Donna is stalked and held hostage at CUTV. I think it joins this episode in the top 5 worst Donna (and Brandon) moments.

 

When is Donna not stalked in the show? A top 5 Donna worst episodes would be a hard thing since there are so many of them after Season 5. 

 

Brenda/Shannen really does look her best in the Paris eps. Amazing hair, perfect makeup, and most of her outfits are super cute too.

Dana Barron (Nikki) barely aged between the time she was in Vacation and appeared here, despite it being like 10 years. Funny that she was older but still looked more like a teenager than the rest of the gang.

Yeah it's a tough call between which song is more odious, "Be My Love" or "Precious to Me." I'm gonna have to give it to Be My Love just for the awful faces he makes while singing it when he performs it at the beach club.

 

The faces make the song. Oh and the "Oooh" part

[Mya Stone]

Also Kelly is sulky and annoying from here on out, their relationship is pure torture right from the start, and then she turns self-righteous as fucking Brandon for the remaining seasons.

 

I totally misread this as saying "she turns self-righteous FOR fucking Brandon for the remaining seasons."

And somehow that's not really wrong either.