S03.E05: Moving In

[Evil Queen]

       Did anyone else recognize Cromwell the realtor?    Cromwell may be a realtor now, but not too long ago he was featured on Property Virgins as an obnoxious preening buyer with a girlfriend.    I think the girlfriend was probably a paid to look like a girlfriend, girlfriend.

             I lived in Atlanta for a little while (in Buckhead) and it is considered the most affluent area.  Extremely pricey.

       People who want to live in a big home but cannot even afford a small condo in Buckhead live outside the perimeter.   The RHOA mostly live outside the perimeter in places like Roswell and Marietta.

                  David getting so upset about his fathers death seemed very over the top since he died so long ago.   I can understand being a little sad, but not the way he reacted.    He reminded me of a out of control , drama queen 12 year old girl flinging himself into the bathroom.

      This show is imo 100 % producer driven and fake, but I like watching it.     

 

I didn't even think about it until you said Cromwell. I do remember that Property Virgins. LOL

  I'm on the other side of the US (So Cali) so its interesting to me to read about the areas from those of you that know them that are being talked about on the show. I would have no clue what those places were like otherwise. So thanks to you all adding that insight to things. 

   I wonder what was said to set David off in that way though. Obviously most adults don't just freak out like that for nothing. So was Ashley making trying to joke around with him or have a discussion on something and just went wrong? Will be interesting to see what went on there. Like I said I can see being upset over a parents death still years later but not in the way of tantrum. LOL I do think it is producer driven for the most part as well. 

[Vinyasa]

 

And as someone that works in sales OET is rarely what the actual amount he will make. I would estimate him to be lower but still that's a decent income.

What does OET stand for ? O=?, E=? T=?

Edited December 30, 2015 by Vinyasa

[Evil Queen]

Is Buckhead closer to Roswell than Midtown is?  90 minutes in traffic to his dealership doesn't sound like fun to me, so I get that he'd want to live closer even if not right in the location of the dealership.

 

No, Midtown is much closer to Buckhead.    Roswell, while still in Fulton County is considered a burb.  For instance my zip code was 30342 in Buckhead, while zips in Roswell are 30075-30077.      

 

Driving anywhere in Atlanta is not much fun.   I have lived in quite a few major cities and have always considered Atlanta the worst.  Its always congested and people drive scary fast and crazy.

My melter is fueled by tealights , so not all of them are flameless.      

 Lots of people make melts.     I buy mine from a handcrafter in rural PA from her website.      I also make melts by scooping an amount out of a regular candle from a jar.   I prefer the melter because there is no soot and I can also mix scents together.

 

My Grandma had ones with the tealights. She loved that stuff so we would try to give her the melts as gifts. She did have ones that worked without a candle too. 

   Yikes about the drivers. Sounds like my city and how crazy many drive here too. I couldn't tell you how many accidents we have here because of it too.SMH

[sleekandchic]

I wouldn't have thought twice about Sam's wax melts if SHE hadn't made such a big deal over them. Evidently, she had already (off-camera) told Neil about her stash, but when he asked to see it she was suddenly coy and reluctant. If there is one thing Sam is NOT, it's COY, so her little aw-shucks act at the candle cupboard was weird. She acted as though the hoard was a secret worth hiding.

When she said Neil is different off-camera, she said it's because he is "cool." If that really is a complaint, I interpreted it to mean that he's cold-cool, as in aloof and standoffish, not copacetic-cool, as in Keanu handling that speeding bus.

Sam's perma-bitch face grates. Her rare high fives with Neil are VIOLENT! I can hear the hate in those slaps! I hope he locks his door at night because if he snores or talks in his sleep, Sam will shove a shiv pronto. Wives with Knives is her next stop.

Sam has friends! How can they bear her? How can a roommate stand her? I have a visceral reaction to her when she appears. Her hair, her clothes, her stinkface, her posture, her attitudes and personality! How did the Experts miss the truth of Sam? And if she was truly able to present a "good" version of herself to the docs, how SCARY is that?

Tres is not a bad guy, but he accepted this casting in bad faith because he doesn't want to be married right now. Vanessa will be hurt for sure.

The preview of a Dave meltdown looks bad for him but I want to wait to see it played out. Poor guy has kept it together with Ashley Queen of the Glacier, so he may have legit reasons for losing control and melting down.

Ashley! Social worker > RN > Helping Professional?! I'm one of those helping people and I can't tell you how many times I've run into an Ashley and thought, What! Why! How!.......There IS a school of thought that says those cold fish aloof-a-bots are better suited to help those in need because cold fish can remain pinpointed on solutions without those pesky human feelings that sometimes creep in to drive the solutions.

Gotta tell you, the Ashley we are seeing here scares me. Cold as ice and judgmental as hell.

This show's premise doesn't work. It's phony and inauthentic and harmful to at least half of the poor suckers who sign up in good faith. IMO, the Experts should be ashamed.

Edited December 30, 2015 by sleekandchic

[Cherrio]

My Grandma had ones with the tealights. She loved that stuff so we would try to give her the melts as gifts. She did have ones that worked without a candle too. 

   Yikes about the drivers. Sounds like my city and how crazy many drive here too. I couldn't tell you how many accidents we have here because of it too.SMH

Its funny you mention living in So Cal, because from Buckhead I moved first to behind the Orange Curtain, then to Los Angeles.    I thought, geez So Cal driving now?       Well, Atlanta is much scarier and faster.  The highways in So Cal move so slow, that while it was a huge pain, it was a relief compared to Atlanta.      There is a MUCH different kind of crazy in So Cal and for me personally, it was the worst place I ever lived. Hated it , a word I rarely use, but I hated it for many many reasons.

      Traffic aside, I loved living in Atlanta.

[moonxyz]

 

As for the previews, yikes. I can imagine Ashley and David will be fine. I think she may not have realized something and he was set off being upset over his dad's death. I can imagine that no matter when it happens if you are close to that parent you don't just get over it. I'm disappointed in Vanessa being suckered into Tres' web of crap and having sex with him. I knew it wouldn't take her long though. The way he was about it just in the preview was a bit disgusting and came off as that is all he wanted and he finally got it. Which to me is how he came off anyway. Sam seems to just be wanting to find another issue to start her crap. That girl is NEVER going to be happy in her life. I don't know if even getting help at this point would do a thing for her. Plus I would bet they are all very different when the cameras are off and gone. Maybe some more than others or not much different but they would be able to be more open with cameras not around and a whole crew of people too. 

 

Spot on. Per the previews of the next episode, he will be out and getting drunk . Basically showing his true colors now that he has slept with her. 

[Vinyasa]

These people like Tres.

 

http://www.dealerrater.com/sales/Tres-Russell-review-269502/

[Snarklepuss]

I find Sam's insistence that there is a "Camera Neil" and a "Real Neil" cracks me up.  I keep thinking about the singing frog in the cartoon.  For those of you too young to know, the frog would act like a normal frog around other people.  However, whenever you were alone with the frog it would don a top hat and cane and start singing "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaal".  Everyone else would think you were crazy for seeing a singing dancing frog.

 

So I am imagining Neil doing some high kicks and hoofing it up when the cameras are off and Sam going "Did you see that?  I'M NOT CRAZY!".

 

OMG, you just made me spit tea at my monitor!!!!

 

Michigan J. Frog:

 

[Soup333]

Why in the world were Sam and Neil putting a bedsheet over a bare mattress? And the way she was snatching the sheets around...she is so angry. Sam is a complete narcissistic bitch. I have nothing else to say for her.

 

Poor Vanessa. This is gonna hurt when it all falls apart.

[seasick]

I hadn't heard that. Interesting, and Vanessa does seem to have her act together financially. But, honestly, all I noticed about her was that black top she was wearing...I know that makes me shallow.

I don't know about shallow,..But the 'bro' comments,  which are common man-thoughts perhaps ---seem a little smarmy to put on this site which is very obviously 99% women.

[BonnieLass]

What does OET stand for ? O=?, E=? T=?

I believe it's actually OTE, which stands for "On Target Earnings". Google defines it as "usually used when an employee has a "variable" component (commission, bonus, etc.) to their compensation. Their compensation is made up of both base salary plus the variable bonus, commission, etc."

[Kiss my mutt]

I think Ashley wants to marry the house. It would leave her alone at least. The only time she seemed human was when she told David about breaking the toilet handle. I think it's okay to rent the home long term and make the best of it but don't know how Ashely will feel having to make do after getting used to that. It's okay for David to use what he's got or at least give himself an opening by showing he can provide. I don't need a man to take care of me but I would want someone who *could*, you know.

I'm really curious about the outburst David has. I can see how this might be another thing that has kept the girls away. The outburst and sobbing just seemed over the top. I know it happens but it shouldn't be frequent and so early on. save it for the big, big, stuff. I didn't realize his dad died when he was seven. I thought maybe it was last year. Will have to wait and see what the dealio is.

Did David's mom ever remarry? I'm wondering if they were too emeshed growing up. She seems really nice but also a bit clingy and quick to attach herself. Didn't she say something to Ashley about she was one of us and she's not letting her go or something? For most people that just sounds sweet and affectionate but David's mom might be desperate for someone to love her son too. She's loves him, I get that though. I'm just thinking the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

It's been great to see the women without makeup and contacts in, just being casual. Jamie from season one was so over the top always having false eyelashes on, hair extensions and makeup.

[Drogo]

*Comments about the cast's social media should be posted to the Season 3 Social Media thread.

[glitterpants]

I don't get Ashley. If I wasn't comfortable letting a guy greet me with a hug or a kiss on the cheek, I certainly wouldn't be comfortable letting him pay for a unnecessarily huge fancy house. I'm an introvert too but I'm still in awe of how mind-numbingly dull Ashley is. Sam, for all her unbearable "quirkiness", at least seems alive and capable of having an interesting conversation.

 

I don't know about shallow,..But the 'bro' comments,  which are common man-thoughts perhaps ---seem a little smarmy to put on this site which is very obviously 99% women.

I'm not a bro and I noticed her black top too.

[Evil Queen]

Its funny you mention living in So Cal, because from Buckhead I moved first to behind the Orange Curtain, then to Los Angeles.    I thought, geez So Cal driving now?       Well, Atlanta is much scarier and faster.  The highways in So Cal move so slow, that while it was a huge pain, it was a relief compared to Atlanta.      There is a MUCH different kind of crazy in So Cal and for me personally, it was the worst place I ever lived. Hated it , a word I rarely use, but I hated it for many many reasons.

      Traffic aside, I loved living in Atlanta.

 

Oh I know Los Angeles is slow compared to most because of the traffic but I'm in Orange County (grew up in Burbank though) and its just not the same as there for sure. It used to not be so bad but the more and more of those so called "apartment homes" that get added the worse it gets and the faster people seem to want to go here. We have certain intersections we know you have to be extra cautious at because so many accidents from speeders and drunks. Being near the beach summer can get really bad. Which I find funny is when people try to say its laid back here because when you see those drivers it doesn't feel that way. Makes walking on the street scary as well. I am a born and raised So. Cali girl so this place is all I have ever known but guess we all have our insane fast crazy selfish drivers all over to deal with. LOL 

 

 

 

Moonxyz, I wouldn't think it would take long for someone like Tres to show who he really is once he gets what he wants from someone. 

[sleekandchic]

Neil exasperates me. Yes, I can't stand Sam and I think Neil is a nice guy, but -- he's just a ride-along here. (literally too--Sam always drives)

I can understand staying optimistic and not jumping to conclusions early on, but Neil seems to have no opinions or feelings about anything. He is,in his own way very aloof.

I don't agree with Sam's approach, but I can understand trying to get an honest feeling or opinion out of him. Do you have any?? Who are you? He's content to be lead around by the nose.. there is no 'relationship' there. He would drive me crazy at this point.

I definitely understand your POV. But Neil strikes me as an outwardly-reserved, composed guy. His personality fits with his career as a laboratory-compliance manager. He has to be calm and observant, look for solutions amid the chaos, sometimes.

But listening to what he says, versus how he acts and reacts, makes me think his still waters run deep. I think he's emotionally intelligent and Sam is hurting him deeply. However he's savvy enough to keep his deepest emotions to himself. It's really easy to look nuts on tv, and nutty behavior might follow him forever.

I think Neil really wanted love and marriage. Now we're witnessing his realization that he put his faith in the wrong people.

Edited December 31, 2015 by sleekandchic

[ethalfrida]

Nah, it's all the artificial fragrances not only in the glade aisle but also the laundry aisle, the processed food aisles and what have you. You are correct in that many scents contribute to the aisel thing but I also have experience with Glade in itself. And, since I do a lot of research on natural and un-natural products I am familiar with products that contain harmful ingredients, etc. Glade and Frebreeze are two heavy hitters in that department which is why I make my own. But, as I said, not everyone does the natural/organic thing... but I bet anything that was a producer thing with Sam.

[Soup333]

Based on this last episode/promo for next week, I'd be surprised if any of these couples make it in the long run even if they make it past the six weeks. I think Courtney/Jason were a complete fluke and Jamie/Doug are hanging on because of Jamie's desperate desire to make herself some sort of F-list celebrity. Every single other couple these experts have matched have imploded and I don't think there will be any exceptions with the S3 couples. Sam should have NEVER EVER been cast. The experts did Neil harm by matching them together. Ashley shouldn't have been cast either for numerous reasons and Vanessa and Tres don't seem to be on the same page as far as actually wanting to be married. 

[kam]

Diary clip of Neil/Sam and tres/Vanessa.

http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/video-diaries-pre-move-jitters

[Meowwww]

Tres=bad credit. Collections. I feel it.

I don't feel the same about Sam. Her bitchiness is a front. I feel like she is soft on the inside.

Maybe because I am a bank manager too....who knows. But I saw her bank scripting, customer facing, striving for sales come out in her finances conversation. Banking is stressful...it's all about selling accounts and cross-selling credit. So never look at y'alls bankers the same, k? Have a heart to your stressed tellers and bankers.

The big salaries don't trickle down and every day is stressful trying to make our goals of four new checking accounts a day and 2 new credit products, per banker. Per day.

We don't sell? Fired. So I saw that in her note taking about budget and it hit my heart.

And I know Buckhead. It's a status thing, saying you live there. I have family there. And I understand Vanessa not feeling like she fits in.

David and Ashley. She is so cold. Never should have been on the show. I don't know what OTE is, but being in sales, I sympathize....he will forever be trying to impress.

ETA Jamie? Total fu**wit.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Meowwww

[Meowwww]

Oh. And...

Vanessa, train your dog. My lab puppy would rather die than pee inside. It's not hard to potty train a dog.

And rent in Atlanta? Cheap. Compared to the great white north (Minnesota) . Our rent here is MUCH more. Apartments are in short supply.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Meowwww

[Arienne]

I have seen a preview that had Cold-fish Ashley asking David about some chick saying he asked for her number at the resort but never seen it happen on the show. David's hissy fit could be totally producer driven we'll see how that plays out.

 

Vanessa's Yorkie peed on that blanket big as life. I have a Yorkie that is potty trained for the most part and "change" because that is not her house or even the lawn getting a half inch too high will get the laundry room peed in. I think it is a Yorkie thing and even the best potty trainers can get a Yorkie accident........we kind of sign up for it by getting a princess dog or that is how I have always looked at it cuz I can't change it. LOL

 

I kind of like Neil and Sam even though Sam has a lot of making up to do.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Arienne

[bichonblitz]

  Neil does creep me out because his eyes aren't level with each other and when he widens them, it makes him look insane.  Still, as was said before, put Neil in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and he'll have scores of women wanted to get with him.

Omg, exactly! A Brooklyn hipster! I was just there a couple of weeks ago. There are Neil's everywhere you look....

[bichonblitz]

Ok so where have I been that I do not know what in the hell wax melts are? Someone please explain to this idiot....

[IvySpice]

 

I just wonder if he really makes that much? Would think if he does, he would have had a much better house and much nicer furniture. And maid service too. That place was mess!

Ehhh...who knows what he really makes, but it's plausible to me that he might live that way even if he's making bank. When I was a young lawyer at a big firm, a lot of the bachelors had more or less a crash pad for an apartment. They just didn't care. They'd rather save the money (or spend it on a fancy car).

 

Ashley makes zero sense to me. She's just the wrong person to go on a show like this. If you're standoffish with strangers, and you aren't willing to force yourself to jump in the deep end to build intimacy, this project is doomed. How exactly will you get used to being with your husband when you're alone?!?

[Snarklepuss]

I think Neil is trying very hard to be cool and chill most of the time, but eventually Psycho Sam triggers anger or hurt feelings. He may have blown up on her a time or two like during their honeymoon. She calls it "passive-aggressive" and that his blowup came out of nowhere, but she doesn't accept culpability for all the little digs and taunts that she constantly makes throughout the day. Of course, the blow ups haven't happened on-camera (probably at night when Production has gone home) which is why she thinks he is playing to the cameras. I'm sure within a few weeks we will witness a couple of Neil blow ups. I bet after it, Sam is walking on eggshells and treating him nicer because it was so out of character from the usual pace of their relationship. If the Therapists don't step in, unfortunately, this could be an issue that causes a huge chasm betwixt them.

He was too nice during the finance discussion. Can't believe he acquiesced to 60/40 and handed the financial reins over to her. I wouldn't want anyone being pushy to me about how I spend my money...husband or wife. Saving 75% is a great goal but why live like an austere monk and have a roommate when you have a good job and can afford nice things? At this rate Neil is going to have to ask Sam about every single little thing he wants to purchase. Saving 50% leaves a slush fund for vacations, gifts, and the occasional splurge. I like how Vanessa approached the finances better. It gives the couple equal responsibility but allows autonomy to make ones own decisions.

 

ITA with you, I think Neil is swallowing a lot of anger at her so as not to poke the bear.  It's just not worth it.  I get the impression that it's all he can do to avoid punching her square in the face and he doesn't want to look bad on camera.  She keeps trying to get a rise out of him, though.  I don't know if I think he's blown up at her in private, though, or gone somewhere to punch a hole in the wall to get out his frustration.  I don't think he wants to instigate her into any more of that behavior.  The thing is, the more he tries to avoid it, the more she tries to get a rise out of him.  One day he's going to blow up and it won't be pretty - But you're right, after that she will be the one walking on eggshells.  I hope he does it for his own sake.  At this point I don't recommend that he try to save the relationship.  It's not worth it!

Edited December 31, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[sleekandchic]

I love all the doggies and give them a huge pass. They're subjected to the upheaval of missing mommies and dads (honeymoon trips) then intros to new family members, new houses and environs, parental tensions, etc. Geez. Dogs deserve better. Pee and poop, slobber and slime all you want, guys!!

I almost wonder if Ashley was catfished online for 9 years based on the fact that they never lived together.

It's completely possible that Ashley was catfished to a Moby Dick degree. She doesn't strike me as Mensa or down-to-earth material.

But I'm also thinking it's possible she met a boy in 7th grade. He smiled at her, and she liked that. Mooned over him in HS, never really dated but flirted under the radar and daydreamed. Followed him to college, took the same classes whenever possible. Had no idea what to do after getting her BS, so followed the guy into grad school for social work. Guy gets married to someone else, so poof! It's the end of Ashleys nine-year relationship!

IOW, I have grave doubts about Ashley actually being in a long-term, romantic relationship with an actual flesh-and-blood guy. Something's wrong with Ashley's robotics. Is this why Cilona loved her? Cause she's not really real? Weirdness personified. Just like "Dr Joseph"?

Edited December 31, 2015 by sleekandchic

[Snarklepuss]

That wax thing was bizarre. I don't know why she made such a big deal about it though. She was acting like a teenager whose mom found her teen idol collages. Do these wax things serve another purpose?

 

My take on it is that she was a little embarrassed that Neil was going to make a spectacle in front of the camera of her overindulgence in the wax melts.  It looked to me like she was ashamed of it like she knows it's over the top and looks crazy.  The way she acted reminded me of how my junior high school girlfriend used to tease me by threatening to tell the cool girls at school about the shrine to Donny Osmond in my bedroom.  Thankfully, she never did.  Later on I found out that a couple of the cool girls actually were Donny Osmond fans.  I'm even embarrassed to admit this 45 years later!!!

[Snarklepuss]

David yelling and storming out was kind of scary. I wonder if he's been hiding that other side of him until now or did Ashley's cold attitude just finally got to him. He seems like such a fun loving guy; I feel sorry for him for having been paired with an icicle.

 

It looked to me like he was actually upset with her for not understanding something about how he felt about his father, so I think you're probably right that it got to him that he's paired with an immature cold fish with no desire or ability to understand or care about his feelings.  Losing a parent at a young age is tough - I've known people in that situation and it's a wound that never heals.  I lost my mother at 42 and that was hard enough.  Ashley is so immature and self-centered, I can see her saying something to show her total inability to relate to something like that.  Her unwillingness to show empathy or understanding to him probably hurt him at a moment when he needed a friend.  It must have come as a slap in the face at a moment when he needed her to finally come out of herself to show real feeling and connection with him.  We'll see if that's what happens.

[Snarklepuss]

The producer of the show is quoted as saying the participants get a "nothing stipend".  This is for earlier seasons, but I can't see the amount jumping from stipend to 100K, no matter how desperate the producers were.

 

You know, the way the producer worded this tripped my bullshit meter - They may not get any "stipend" but that doesn't mean they don't incur expenses that may be reimbursed by the show, or given other incentives and gifts or perks for their time that technically can't be called a "stipend" or "salary".  It's creative wording to get around admitting that they do in fact get some sort of remuneration for their time and effort.  I have a feeling that at the very least their meals, apartments and any purchases/expenses made during the 6 weeks on the show are reimbursed among other things.

[Snarklepuss]

Now, do I think Ashley is ready for marriage? No. I'm very curious about that relationship and why it didn't end sooner, frankly. OK, they were in high school and college so wouldn't be thinking about marriage or living together then, but I'd think once they were established in adult life they'd start thinking about moving forward. And maybe after a year or two of being in the "real world," if one of them (I'm guessing him but who knows) isn't interested in moving forward, that's the time to cut bait. I'm sure we all know people who stayed in relationships WAY too long, and I'm guessing that happened with Ashley. I don't know her, but a year strikes me as very soon to jump into something after a nine-year relationship, although maybe it was over before it was over.

 

This may have something to do with a trend today for 20 somethings to stay in long term relationships that somehow never progress to marriage.  Some live together and some don't.  The median marriage age is at a record high of 27 for women (29 for men) today.  More young people are delaying the rites of passage that once signaled adulthood, such as establishing a career, buying a home, etc.  The truth is that Ashley is not completely established in adult life.  She is 30 and still in school on a tight budget.  She looks like yet another delayed adolescent to me.  In my age bracket I can't swing a dead cat without hitting a friend's or relative's kid who is her age and either in a long term relationship that never progresses to marriage, still living at home, still in school or just thinking about going to school, still working on finding a career, or any combination of the above.  Now a portion of the younger generation may consider that some new definition of adulthood but most people over the age of about 40 see it as delayed adolescence.  There are still stages of maturity that it's hard to achieve unless one goes through the traditional rites of passage, IMO.

 

My take on Ashley is that she is not used to being without an SO plus her "marriage clock" is going off now that she's 30.  Perhaps she always envisioned that long term relationship ending in marriage and can't accept that it didn't, so she saw this show as a "quick fix" to get her another SO/husband STAT.

[spankydoll]

You have to step back a little bit on Ashley. She was in a relationship for nine years - they guy may have been a bum. A bum who strung her along. A freeloader perhaps. And she is having some postnuptual jitters that she is with another bum who she doesn't know at all. And when Dave turns out to have some means it was all puppies and rainbows for her. Now being a gold digger isn't cool. But a girl who may have been raised on a steady diet of rom coms and Disney Princess movies and a man suddenly being exposed as the Lord of the Manor/Prince of the Realm/Owner of the bookstore chain, whatever gives him romantic street cred. 

 

Sam - Chill the fuck out. 

[ketose]

Sam is a cheap ass, and this is from someone who is also cheap. By the way, if Sam is spending 25% on rent and Neil is spending 32%, wouldn't that mean he makes at least 50% more than she does? She may be "good with money," but it's always better to have money.

 

Also, Neil should pay the man tax contingent on Sam performing her wifely duties.

[Snarklepuss]

You have to step back a little bit on Ashley. She was in a relationship for nine years - they guy may have been a bum. A bum who strung her along. A freeloader perhaps. And she is having some postnuptual jitters that she is with another bum who she doesn't know at all. And when Dave turns out to have some means it was all puppies and rainbows for her. Now being a gold digger isn't cool. But a girl who may have been raised on a steady diet of rom coms and Disney Princess movies and a man suddenly being exposed as the Lord of the Manor/Prince of the Realm/Owner of the bookstore chain, whatever gives him romantic street cred.

 

Having known many such princesses as Ashley myself, she doesn't strike me as the type to put up with a true freeloader or bum for two minutes.  I would believe that a guy she had put great hope in didn't turn out to be her prince charming after all, though.  She was with the guy so long that he might have had great plans for a career that never came to fruition somehow and she got tired of waiting for it to happen.

[seasick]

I assume they pay for the wedding dresses and the tux rentals.  Probably for the bridesmaid dresses as well.(the dresses could be rentals)  the rings,  the flowers, the reception venue, food,  and beer and wine, the photographer, the DJ , the morning after brunch, the honeymoon,including the excursions--snorkeling, helicopter rides, etc,  and  they foot the bill for the apartments for six weeks up to a certain budget.  So I often think that whatever figure is thrown around as to what they get "paid" probably (according to production) includes these things as well.  

 .      .  

[Jack Sampson]

Sam is a cheap ass, and this is from someone who is also cheap. By the way, if Sam is spending 25% on rent and Neil is spending 32%, wouldn't that mean he makes at least 50% more than she does? She may be "good with money," but it's always better to have money.

 

Also, Neil should pay the man tax contingent on Sam performing her wifely duties.

@ $300 (her actual contribution to the rent) her annual after-tax (guessing?) salary is only $14,400

@ $600 (her total mortgage) it's $28,800 - that's around $32000 pre tax.

Either way it's substantially below the average salary for even an assistant bank manager in Atlanta according to Google.

Also, Neil makes about $45,000 or $57,000 pre tax.

I think my math is correct.

[anarchyangel84]

I don't understand why Ashley signed up to do this. What did she expect would happen? The way she acted when she found out how much David made, it makes me wonder if she did this just for that reason. To find someone to help her while she's in school. David does need to calm down a bit. He needs to have some patience. I don't know why they matched them. I don't see it AT ALL. David is a bit of a drama queen & he makes me nervous. I couldn't imagine being around him but at least he has a personality. Ashley has the personality of a cardboard box. She reminds me a lot of Davina.

Vanessa & Tres are doing so good because they gave themselves completely to the process. I think both Neil & Samantha & Ashley & David would've been like that too but the women have gotten in the way. I think Vanessa has right to be concerned about Tres & his past(?) habits. But she's not letting her worries get in the way. They're adorable together & I really hope that they can make it.

Sam drives me crazy, but I don't not like her. Having to try & wrestle control from her all the time would be exhausting. When they were all driving back from their honeymoons, seeing them in their cars showed exactly what their relationships have been like. Tres was driving & he & Vanessa were kissing & cuddling. David was driving/grinning at Ashley like an idiot. Ashley didn't notice because she was on her phone. Neil was in the passenger seat & Sam was driving & dancing. I'm rooting for Sam & Neil but it seems like Sam is just trying to find things to pick at about Neil. I don't know why she's fighting this so much. I didn't really find Neil attractive at first (I wouldn't have told him that) but now I think he's attractive. She'd be stupid to screw this up.

[glitterpants]

Ashley has the personality of a cardboard box. She reminds me a lot of Davina.

Poor Davina doesn't deserve this comparison! I think it's just that whathisface (Sean?) wasn't interested in anything but himself, so she stopped putting herself out there after a while.

Edited December 31, 2015 by glitterpants

[molshoop]

 

Ok so where have I been that I do not know what in the hell wax melts are?

 

           I'd never heard of them either.  I guess patchouli incense sticks aren't cool anymore.

[Drogo]

@ $300 (her actual contribution to the rent) her annual after-tax (guessing?) salary is only $14,400

@ $600 (her total mortgage) it's $28,800 - that's around $32000 pre tax.

Either way it's substantially below the average salary for even an assistant bank manager in Atlanta according to Google.

Also, Neil makes about $45,000 or $57,000 pre tax.

I think my math is correct.

 

The 25% was on bills, not mortgage alone, so those numbers would probably need to be doubled (at least.)  Sam may have gotten "a deal!" on her home, but she's not getting "a deal!" on electricity, water, gas, car payment, insurance, cable, cell phone, internet, etc. etc.

 

I'm always turned off when someone brags about buying their home during the housing crash, and how they got such a great deal by buying a home that was probably foreclosed from under some poor family where the mother/father probably lost their job and everything they owned.  You really got 'em, Sam! 

 

I dislike her very much.  The speculation that Neil would be "someone else" when they lived together and the cameras weren't rolling 24x7 was the icing on the cake.

[humbleopinion]

I wouldn't blame Neil if he was "someone else "off camera.

Floating out of his body and going to his happy place may be needed to get through the next 5 weeks of this ordeal.

Locking himself in a closet and rocking back and forth to self sooth sounds delightful compared to dealing with his wife.

 

Sam provokes Neil instead of having a normal  conversation.

Her insecurity drives her aggression and need to belittle Neil.

 

Where are they going to hang the clown picture?

 

Neil...pay the man tax to forfeit any producer pressure to fulfill doing any "husbandly duties."

Edited December 31, 2015 by humbleopinion

[operalover]

Sam said she saves 75% of her salary which means she uses only 25% of her salary to live on including groceries and everything else. Based on that I think her salary is much more than $14,400.  I don't know anyone who saves 75% of their income who makes very little because it would be impossible. I get that her mortgage share is only $300. Other stuff has to be at least $400 being cheap. That is also gas and her car.

 

I think that the show picks up the payments on their original places and has the couples pay for the joint rentals. This way they do have to come up with a budget and live in someplace that "if" they were "actually" married and not in a fake show marriage, they would conceivably live on that housing budget. The show foots the bill for the places they already have. To me this makes more sense than the show paying for the joint place. The show would not pay $3500 for Dave's place but will pay for his old place. Sam was really FULL of shit saying to the realtor that "we still have to pay for our old places so we need to go cheap"- yeah right! She wanted to go cheap because she still wants to only be paying $300 a month for the new place.  Therefore a $900 a month rental with her paying 40% is around that or not too much more- she isn't going to be able to save 75% as a married person.

I laughed that she complained about his lovely table that he bought but then whined about his hand me down bed! Jeez make up your mind! It sucks if he has nice furniture and it also sucks if he has shitty furniture?

 

For those of you not in Atlanta (I am from NY but live here for 30 years) the whole Buckhead vs Midtown thing- please- they are only 5 miles apart and not like worlds apart in lifestyle, It was not like he was asking to go from midtown- which is upscale urban- to an outlying family type suburb. Nothing like going from Eastern Long Island to New Jersey! Most of Midtown is expensive as well like Buckhead with some more "laid back" aspects and Piedmont Park, which is the Central Park of Atlanta. Buckhead has hotels and fancy malls. Roswell, where Tres works is closer to Buckhead. It goes from South to North: Downtown Atlanta, Midtown, Buckhead, Roswell. But please all that whining about midtown vs buckhead just made me want to hurl. 

Edited December 31, 2015 by operalover

[suzeecat]

Does anyone here remember the Joe Schmo show?  It was a reality show about a reality show.  One "Joe Schmo" would be cast, thinking he was on a Big Brother-type reality show.  Everyone else on the show were paid professional actors with assigned personalities/roles.  They would act as ridiculous as possible, all the while trying to get "Joe Schmo" to play along without catching on that the show was actually a fake.

 

All that to say, when I see Neil I imagine him having thoughts that just maybe he's on the Joe Schmo show and wondering when they will reveal that this is all a big joke.  He just has this look about him that looks like he's trying REALLY HARD to go along with the joke.

[Liberty]

Sam said she saves 75% of her salary which means she uses only 25% of her salary to live on including groceries and everything else. Based on that I think her salary is much more than $14,400.  I don't know anyone who saves 75% of their income who makes very little because it would be impossible. I get that her mortgage share is only $300. Other stuff has to be at least $400 being cheap. That is also gas and her car.

 

...Sam was really FULL of shit saying to the realtor that "we still have to pay for our old places so we need to go cheap"- yeah right! She wanted to go cheap because she still wants to only be paying $300 a month for the new place.  Therefore a $900 a month rental with her paying 40% is around that or not too much more- she isn't going to be able to save 75% as a married person.

I laughed that she complained about his lovely table that he bought but then whined about his hand me down bed! Jeez make up your mind! It sucks if he has nice furniture and it also sucks if he has shitty furniture?

 

 

 

It is interesting that the Sam character has been very effective in alienating so many of this forum's participants, that the participants go to a lot of effort to pinpoint areas where she is demonstrating a clear lack of understanding about marriage.  All these points are well taken it's just a lot of effort to explain why she is seen as someone who is trying to destroy a marriage rather than develop a marriage.

 

The same is true for Ashley's character.  She is so destructive that forum participants look for ways to point it out rather than accept it.

 

Last season Jessica Castro's behavior was identified as destructive to the marriage (not that her husband's behavior was better). This year the Ashley and Sam characters have taken on that role, while Neil and David wait for a turn about.

 

David, Neil, run and do not look back.

[seasick]

I wouldn't blame Neil if he was "someone else "off camera.

Floating out of his body and going to his happy place may be needed to get through the next 5 weeks of this ordeal.

Locking himself in a closet and rocking back and forth to self sooth sounds delightful compared to dealing with his wife.

 

Yeah!  Considering the spectacle Sam made of herself at the wedding, my guess is that she is also "someone else" when the cameras are rolling. (horns and cloven hooves)   She also made sure the cameras were there when she said the most insulting things to Neil.  

He's probably scared to death that she will embarrass or humiliate him --AGAIN.  I think we may soon see him curled into the fetal position   

[Neurochick]

This may have something to do with a trend today for 20 somethings to stay in long term relationships that somehow never progress to marriage.  Some live together and some don't.  The median marriage age is at a record high of 27 for women (29 for men) today.  More young people are delaying the rites of passage that once signaled adulthood, such as establishing a career, buying a home, etc.  The truth is that Ashley is not completely established in adult life.  She is 30 and still in school on a tight budget.  She looks like yet another delayed adolescent to me.  In my age bracket I can't swing a dead cat without hitting a friend's or relative's kid who is her age and either in a long term relationship that never progresses to marriage, still living at home, still in school or just thinking about going to school, still working on finding a career, or any combination of the above.  Now a portion of the younger generation may consider that some new definition of adulthood but most people over the age of about 40 see it as delayed adolescence.  There are still stages of maturity that it's hard to achieve unless one goes through the traditional rites of passage, IMO.

 

 

You're right, but I think that finance and the high cost of college has A LOT to do with this.  My student loan was three figures;  when I paid it off, I was working and had my own apartment in NYC.  College is really, really expensive, more expensive than someone making a middle class salary can afford.  My starting salary as a low, low level clerk was more than the tuition for most private colleges; also City University of NY (CUNY) was free until the mid seventies.  Today, so many young people are in debt from student loans, I think this is one reason they are delaying things like career (not many jobs out there), getting an apartment (no money) and marriage (see both).  

 

I think Ashley is VERY immature, she probably hasn't dated many men, if she had she would probably be more attracted to David.

 

I'm always turned off when someone brags about buying their home during the housing crash, and how they got such a great deal by buying a home that was probably foreclosed from under some poor family where the mother/father probably lost their job and everything they owned.  You really got 'em, Sam!

 

 

I don't get this.  Somebody has to buy those homes, if they stay vacant, they destroy the property values of other homes in the area; I didn't see Sam as bragging, just stating a fact.  

Edited December 31, 2015 by Neurochick

[Drogo]

 

Somebody has to buy those homes, if they stay vacant, they destroy the property values of other homes in the area; I didn't see Sam as bragging, just stating a fact.

 

You're absolutely right and I definitely don't fault her for buying the home when she did or at the price she did - I meant I was turned off by the way which she talks about it and the way she said "Neil didn't get A DEAL" as if she were disappointed in him. 

[PityFree]

Does anyone here remember the Joe Schmo show?  It was a reality show about a reality show.  One "Joe Schmo" would be cast, thinking he was on a Big Brother-type reality show.  Everyone else on the show were paid professional actors with assigned personalities/roles.  They would act as ridiculous as possible, all the while trying to get "Joe Schmo" to play along without catching on that the show was actually a fake.

 

All that to say, when I see Neil I imagine him having thoughts that just maybe he's on the Joe Schmo show and wondering when they will reveal that this is all a big joke.  He just has this look about him that looks like he's trying REALLY HARD to go along with the joke.

I do!!! I do!!! I loved that show!! The first season was amazing. Kristen Whig was on it! The first Joe Schmo (can't remember his name) was such a great guy. I can totally see Neil wondering if this was a version of that since Sam is so over the top that she has to be acting.

[CaptainCranky]

OK so I'm old school but this percentage split of expenses to income ratio is BS. When we first got married we put money in the pot and paid bills. Over the years I made a lot more but we never changed and now the shoe is on the other foot as I'm retired with no other than SS and she makes almost all of the income and we still haven't changed.

 

But then again younger people have a different spin on marriage and money and I respect that if it works for them.

[Snarklepuss]

You're right, but I think that finance and the high cost of college has A LOT to do with this.  My student loan was three figures;  when I paid it off, I was working and had my own apartment in NYC.  College is really, really expensive, more expensive than someone making a middle class salary can afford.  My starting salary as a low, low level clerk was more than the tuition for most private colleges; also City University of NY (CUNY) was free until the mid seventies.  Today, so many young people are in debt from student loans, I think this is one reason they are delaying things like career (not many jobs out there), getting an apartment (no money) and marriage (see both). 

 

True, but I think a lot of the disparity is comparing expensive private schools with relatively cheaper state and local schools.  I think private school tuition has gone up way out of proportion to reality.  There are cheaper alternatives and if I were someone like Ashley today I'd go to a local or state school with cheaper tuition.  My student loans with housing at a private school left me at $22,000 in debt in 1980 money (which is about $67,000 in today's money.  My parents did not quality me for "financial aid" mostly because I was an only child so other children were not factored into their income).  The tuition for a local/state school today without housing would be about $6,500 a year, so that's around $35,000 in student loans.  Considering that my starting salary in 1980 was only $12,000 a year in today's money that would be only $32,000 a year today, which actually would be unheard of today for what I did then (it would be higher - Glass Door says starting salary for what I did would be $41,000 today, which is still low but not as low), while my student loan debt would translate into about $67,000 in today's money.  Plus my apartment was $400 a month in the Bronx, which translates into $1,225 a month in today's money, and wasn't in a higher end neighborhood.  So sure, it's tough now but is it that much tougher?   Also, I remember when CUNY started charging tuition - at precisely the semester I entered college (Fall of '76).  Contrary to what many younger people are led to believe today, people my age didn't come of age in a golden era when everything was easy - I came of age during a city wide fiscal crisis, gas prices skyrocketing, double digit inflation and a recession.  I didn't even get my first credit card until I was 30.  The mantra back then was "Want a job?  Get experience.  Want experience?  Get a job"  Same with credit.  It was no piece of cake.  So to the younger generation today I say, "Wah, wah, wah, cry me a river".  Personally I think it's just that many of them were raised to believe that the world was their oyster and that everything was going to be smooth sailing for them to equal or even outdo their parents' entire lifetime achievements in terms of affluence by the time they were 35.  When that did not happen, it was a rude shock.  My husband and I had to take furniture in off the street for the first 10 years of our marriage.  Would someone like princess Ashley EVER lower herself enough to do that?  NO.  So that's why they stay home if you ask me.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Snarklepuss