S04.E03: Pretty Little Lies

[yourmomiseasy]

I've never flown directly to Italy.  I usually stop in London, Munich, or Paris for a couple of days before going wherever else I'm going.  The only time I've been to Italy I drove there from Munich.  So I'm not an expert on flying there, but I am thinking of going to Italy next year and have been looking at flights from LAX and was never able to find anything direct.  I hate layovers, so I'm rethinking my plans (this is how I always end up doing stupid things like stopping in London to shop).  Anyway, I think the shortest flight I was able to find was 13 or 14 hours.  I've never considered a quick weekend trip to Europe from LA feasible between the flight time and time difference, but I'm lazy.  I was flown to Vegas for the night for a party once when I was in my 20s.  That flight is much shorter and it still knocked me on my ass for a day, but I don't take adderall or snort coke.  

[freeradical]

ITA with 5 pills a day being bullshit. I don't remember the dose, but after my appendectomy I took 3-4 pills a day and that was per the directions. Shay's probably taking 5 x 5 pills and washing them down with shots of Fireball (seems to be the VPR go-to liquor), plus coke and/or ADD meds to even out. Pretty much all the cast members have admitted to some hard drug use and you can sometimes see lines or pills on their periscopes. Shay's not the only with a problem; IMO both Toms have coke jitters and the tell-tale perma-sniffles, and James seems to do most of his DJ-ing in a blackout. And of course there's Jax's famous "deviated septum".

You called it! Stassie also said on a podcast that nearly everyone on the show takes a lot of adderall which is also code for coke and meth as I'm sure we all know. I believe that 100 percent. Actually I suspect many Bravolebrities do. Uppers help people function while drinking amounts of alcohol that would have most people on the floor.

[hoodooznoodooz]

This has probably already been discussed, but it drives me crazy that it seems as if they actually encourage the female servers to wear their hair long and not pulled back. How many hairs have fallen onto the entrees?

[cherry slushie]

Agree with all.  And I will add another reason why Shay could be self medicating. (IF he's self medicating.)

 

From the start, he was never that classic Hollywood pretty boy.  Kind of slouchy, sloppy. He had to be well aware of that before he met her and was likely surprised he bagged a beauty like Scheana.  Nice enough guy but not good enough for her, or so she thinks. He is no Eddie Cibrian. In the looks or finance department.  She's probably made him feel inferior from the minute he said, "I do".  If not before. 

 

Now she's the star of VPRs and is looking for a way out of a marriage she believes she's too good for.  And she'll make it all his fault.

 

ETA:  Looked at her instagram.   As of Halloween they're still together.  Both of them have lost a lot of weight. He looks great. She got her second band of diamonds for her ring. Priorities. I have to say, I think she is very beautiful.  Until she, like, opens her mouth.

 

Saw Katie's ring, too.  Meh.  As long as she loves it, that's all that matters.  Pear shaped, champagne colored diamond.

 

I can't help thinking of the movie Beautiful Girls where Michael Rapaport buys Martha Plimpton a cheap engagement ring, and everyone asks upon seeing it "Why is it brown?" to which Michael replies "It's champagne!".

 

As for VPRs, am I the only one who thinks this show is completely scripted now?  The only storyline I believe is Tom and Katie getting engaged because we've known that to be true for months now.  Everything else is so staged and terribly acted.  No wonder none of them made it as actors.

 

I'm so bummed because this show used to keep me on the edge of my seat, but now it's total snoozeville - a dull, nighttime, scripted soap opera. Scheana definitely does not have what it takes to be a leading character on this show, nor does James.

Edited November 17, 2015 by cherry slushie

[transcrypt]

Scheana is just an awful person. She has absolutely NO class at all and could give Paltrow lessons in the self-absortion department. That thot is so trashy she makes Jax look like Idris Elba.

"I feel like I've been cheated on!" You could cut the irony with a knife. Maybe Shay finally realised the old adage, "You can't wife a ho." His misery and regret is palpable. Poor guy.

[transcrypt]

• Lala's entire self worth seems externally driven with her alleged prostitution, naked Instagram pictures for validation, and crying to mom (and Lisa) when two coworkers figured out her "modeling job" includes blow jobs or at least hand jobs.

• Scheana not speaking to Shay in 4 days and yet her #1 priority is upgrading to another band of diamonds. Good call, Sandoval. And good call on her harping on him being an alcoholic is perpetuating the cycle and he's off never like the nice guys--go find yourself a nice girl. she did get some therapy before filming that talking head.

I was half expecting Scheana to say, "Who?" when Shay was mentioned during the diamond scene.

As far as Lala being a prositute, wasn't Scheana one as well? I'm NOT trying to be cute. I could have sworn some things from her past came up when she claimed to be John Mayer's girlfriend.

[starrynola]

OK, help me--when did this happen, I must have missed it?

I'm just talking about how both of the men he worked with were saying very scripted "never thought this day would happen" lines.

Edited November 18, 2015 by starrynola

[starrynola]

Oh poor Lala (I can't with that name)! She gets called out for being a whore, which she totally is, and her fee-fees get so hurt that instead of going to Venice for this fabulous trip, she's so upset that she has to call her mommy.

Oh. Please.

She's a skank who has to go crying to Lisa, rather than dealing with Katie and Scheana head-on, like an adult.

I couldn't agree more! It was beyond bizarre her bringing up her mom like that. I got a Dina Lohan vibe from the pics it showed of them.

[Shelby]

Jax look like the devil, if the devil fell in an oil slick.

[HouseofBeck]

 

And I just can't with Kristen. Girl looks like she bathes in peach schnapps.

Thank you for saying this. This is exactly what she looks like.

I am actually feeling sorry for Kristen being gaslighted up and down the screen lately. I'm hoping this show really is that scripted, because some of this is getting paiiinful. Stupid James with his hair looking like it's frightened of his forehead. He doesn't need Kristen to stay on the show, and Kristen's new non-reactive therapy make her boring even when she's finding loopholes to be reactive, so why is this relationship even being fostered??

But Lala, ugh. "I'm a girl's girl but gosh no girl ever likes me!" I'd almost have bought that whine more if she'd actually spent time trying to get to know the others instead of lying about her booking. Which for all I know she went on anyway and just lied about running home to mom. I don't know what it means to be an Instagram model, though; aren't you just...posting carefully edited "in the moment!" pics for anyone to see for free? Just like countless others? Does anyone believe Instagram is raw and real anymore?? Gah!

Jax and Lala though: Two sides, same crusty penny. No wonder she scares him.

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

It's All Work And No Shay On Vanderpump Rules
The midseason blues strike early, but Scheana has no time for work drama what with her marriage crumbling at home. How do you think her husband's drug addiction and emotional troubles make HER feel?

[ivygirl]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

It's All Work And No Shay On Vanderpump Rules

"All work and no Shay" is the funniest thing about this ep. Nice one.

[WhosThatGirl]

 James is a high class jerk, though with his "my dream is DJING!" or whatever and he's obviously an idiot because in his talking heads, he is all, "I've been cheating on Kristen", the hell? Seriously. THIS IS HIS TALKING HEAD. Kristen will see this  It's like how Jax apparently doesn't know cameras are following him around when he admits to things, like last season when he told all those people at that dinner with Schena, Kristen, and Shay about Tom cheating and then Tom confronted him and he said "I didn't say anything" and then we got an awesome PINKPump flashback of him doing so. Quite a few times. It's funny but then it's not because I really think there is something wrong with these people.

 

Sometimes I hate how much I love this show. But why hasn't there been a fight yet? And you guys know what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about a screaming/crying couple fight, I'm talking about a fight where Schena somehow ends up getting injured in some capacity. Do I have to wait for Stassi to return for that to happen? ;) 

 

At least I didn't have to hear about Tom and Araina "adulting" this week because they bought a sofa. 

[Ubiquitous]

I was half expecting Scheana to say, "Who?" when Shay was mentioned during the diamond scene.

As far as Lala being a prositute, wasn't Scheana one as well? I'm NOT trying to be cute. I could have sworn some things from her past came up when she claimed to be John Mayer's girlfriend.

I think she's a mistress of one of the RHoBH ladies' husbands; as far as I know, she didn't charge him anything. *cough*

You know, it didn't seem very nice of FI Tom to pass off their semen-spattered couch to Faith, the new girl. I hope she doesn't become pregnant with Jax's baby from it! ;-)

[The Mighty Peanut]

You know, it didn't seem very nice of FI Tom to pass off their semen-spattered couch to Faith, the new girl. I hope she doesn't become pregnant with Jax's baby from it! ;-)

Seriously. Don't ever hold a black light to that thing, Faith. You don't want to know.

Edited November 22, 2015 by The Mighty Peanut

[hoodooznoodooz]

Pear-shaped diamond? Wasn't that the big joke on Sex & the City? Aiden bought Carrie a hideous pear-shaped diamond?

[bichonblitz]

Pear-shaped diamond? Wasn't that the big joke on Sex & the City? Aiden bought Carrie a hideous pear-shaped diamond?

Yea, Poor Aiden. I guess in certain circles a pear shaped diamond is no longer popular. I happen to have a pear shaped diamond.  Although, it's not brown!. I have wanted to upgrade it for years but don't want to hurt hubby's feelings. 

[Duke2801]

cherry slushie, on 17 Nov 2015 - 6:32 PM, said:

I can't help thinking of the movie Beautiful Girls where Michael Rapaport buys Martha Plimpton a cheap engagement ring, and everyone asks upon seeing it "Why is it brown?" to which Michael replies "It's champagne!".

 

As for VPRs, am I the only one who thinks this show is completely scripted now?  The only storyline I believe is Tom and Katie getting engaged because we've known that to be true for months now.  Everything else is so staged and terribly acted.  No wonder none of them made it as actors.

 

I'm so bummed because this show used to keep me on the edge of my seat, but now it's total snoozeville - a dull, nighttime, scripted soap opera. Scheana definitely does not have what it takes to be a leading character on this show, nor does James.

I love that movie!

 

And nope you are definitely not the only one who thinks that.  The scenes seem more forced and inauthentic every season.  Still love to hate on these SUR-vers though!

 

hoodooznoodooz, on 18 Nov 2015 - 09:44 AM, said:

Pear-shaped diamond? Wasn't that the big joke on Sex & the City? Aiden bought Carrie a hideous pear-shaped diamond?

 

Yes!  "A pear shaped diamond with a gold band."  Maybe they've come back around and are "in style" again?  I personally think they are ugly...  

[TattleTeeny]

Why do they all keep referring to Lala as a blond? Are they blind? That's my natural hair color (I think...haven't seen it in a while, to be honest) and it is light brown. You'd think in L.A. of all places, blond would mean BLOND!

[freeradical]

I can't help thinking of the movie Beautiful Girls where Michael Rapaport buys Martha Plimpton a cheap engagement ring, and everyone asks upon seeing it "Why is it brown?" to which Michael replies "It's champagne!".

As for VPRs, am I the only one who thinks this show is completely scripted now? The only storyline I believe is Tom and Katie getting engaged because we've known that to be true for months now. Everything else is so staged and terribly acted. No wonder none of them made it as actors.

I'm so bummed because this show used to keep me on the edge of my seat, but now it's total snoozeville - a dull, nighttime, scripted soap opera. Scheana definitely does not have what it takes to be a leading character on this show, nor does James.

This is my theory on how VP scripts, although I kinda doubt it could really be this extreme. I imagine Lisa sitting down with other producers and mapping out who is going to cheat on who and end up with who BUT then the cast says "so I guess we're effing now!" and actually do. Then the emotion is pretty real when producers send one of them over to eff another cast member plus it means their storyline has been reduced a lot. Like playing real life slutty dolls!

I never know what to think of "reality shows" so my imagination goes all sorts of places!

[ghoulina]

You know, it didn't seem very nice of FI Tom to pass off their semen-spattered couch to Faith, the new girl. I hope she doesn't become pregnant with Jax's baby from it! ;-)

 

I know! I wanted to jump through the screen and tell her to get a slipcover for that thing. 

[HunterHunted]

This is my theory on how VP scripts, although I kinda doubt it could really be this extreme. I imagine Lisa sitting down with other producers and mapping out who is going to cheat on who and end up with who BUT then the cast says "so I guess we're effing now!" and actually do. Then the emotion is pretty real when producers send one of them over to eff another cast member plus it means their storyline has been reduced a lot. Like playing real life slutty dolls!

I never know what to think of "reality shows" so my imagination goes all sorts of places!

I don't know if it's still available, but one of The Right Reasons podcasts had VPR producer on. He said that it's one of the shows where he has to do the least amount of "producing." He said that basically the cast has all been friends for years and they are messy as hell. All of his producing amounts to telling the cast to show up and lying to them as to why they need to be there.

[Drogo]

What's worse than LaLa?  Six LaLa's. 

 

[psychoticstate]

Did anyone watch The People's Couch last night?  Seeing the Zeno family's facial expressions while watching the show is beyond priceless.  Dad Zeno:  Lisa's a vampire!

 

Several of the other couchies pointed out that maybe Shay wasn't coming home because of the "bridal suite" bedroom Scheana was flouncing around in.

 

Scott, Blake and Emerson also pointed out that girls like Lala, who have been pretty their whole lives, think they can get out of everything by tilting their head to the side and smiling.  Lisa: "Who was the photographer?  Where did you shoot?"  Lala - tilts head to the side and smiles. 

 

VPR is absolutely one of my favorite shows.  I can't get enough.  (Almost as scary as Jax' jawline and what may be on Faith's new sofa.)

[Ubiquitous]

What's worse than LaLa?  Six LaLa's. 

 

Is shipping to Italy free?

[TattleTeeny]

Scott, Blake and Emerson also pointed out that girls like Lala, who have been pretty their whole lives, think they can get out of everything by tilting their head to the side and smiling.  Lisa: "Who was the photographer?  Where did you shoot?"  Lala - tilts head to the side and smiles.

 

Not really relevant but I'm "eh" on her looks. At a glance, I saw a very pretty person who looked to me like a super-well-preserved woman in her late-40s. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

Yea, Poor Aiden. I guess in certain circles a pear shaped diamond is no longer popular. I happen to have a pear shaped diamond.  Although, it's not brown!. I have wanted to upgrade it for years but don't want to hurt hubby's feelings.

Oh, no! I'm hope that I didn't offend you. Now I am rethinking the pear-shaped diamond. You are a wonderful spouse.

[yourmomiseasy]

Yea, Poor Aiden. I guess in certain circles a pear shaped diamond is no longer popular. I happen to have a pear shaped diamond.  Although, it's not brown!. I have wanted to upgrade it for years but don't want to hurt hubby's feelings. 

 

Do you talk about upgrading it when you haven't seen him for half a week because he's moved back to his parents' house after going on a bender with his bros?

[ghoulina]

I don't know if it's still available, but one of The Right Reasons podcasts had VPR producer on. He said that it's one of the shows where he has to do the least amount of "producing." He said that basically the cast has all been friends for years and they are messy as hell. All of his producing amounts to telling the cast to show up and lying to them as to why they need to be there.

 

I believe it. We've seen some of their little "audition" reels. These people suck at acting. 

[Duke2801]

TattleTeeny, on 18 Nov 2015 - 1:41 PM, said:TattleTeeny, on 18 Nov 2015 - 1:41 PM, said:

Not really relevant but I'm "eh" on her looks. At a glance, I saw a very pretty person who looked to me like a super-well-preserved woman in her late-40s. 

I don't think she looks anything near 40-something, but I don't think Lala is all that, either.  She's cute in a very generic way, at best.  I think both Scheanna and Katie are prettier than her. 

 

That said, I do think that she and James make a cuter - and more age-appropriate- couple than James and Kristen ever did.

Edited November 18, 2015 by Duke2801

[TattleTeeny]

Katie definitely is, IMO. She's adorable. Except when she had the orange hair; I swear, I have never seen a hair-color change make such an extreme and negative difference to someone's face!

Edited November 18, 2015 by TattleTeeny

[FozzyBear]

Pear shaped diamonds are coming back into style. I wouldn't say they're a huge trend yet, but they're becoming popular again. A couple of celebrities (I wanna say Angelina Jolie?) have used them in wedding/engagement rings lately. Which is why people should develop at least a modicum of actual personal style. Everything comes in and out and if you're too stupid to have an opinion that you didn't crib from InStyle then eventually your words come back to haunt you. Just have some balls about what you like already. I still wore gold through the platinum dessert of the 1990s. Not a lot, but some because it looks good on me and I like it.

[AuntDahlia]

My husband is an alcoholic and relapsed shortly after we got married.  I have said and felt everything Scheana was saying and I am about as polar opposite from her in personality and lifestyle as you can get...I even did the whole hide it from everyone thing - for years.  I feel for her, this makes the show much less enjoyable for me.  After hard times, my h. went to rehab (sober for several years now) and I've been to a lot of "sessions" and education about addiction.  YMMV, but addiction is not Scheana's fault.  If he goes home to mother because he's sick of her that's one thing but if he is leaving her because he doesn't want to be confronted about his addiction, that's not on her.  I painfully recall all the years I spent trying to say the right magic words and behave correctly so as not cause another fall off the wagon.  Now my husband is still an irresponsible charmer like Schwartz but that I can live with!

[cherry slushie]

This is my theory on how VP scripts, although I kinda doubt it could really be this extreme. I imagine Lisa sitting down with other producers and mapping out who is going to cheat on who and end up with who BUT then the cast says "so I guess we're effing now!" and actually do. Then the emotion is pretty real when producers send one of them over to eff another cast member plus it means their storyline has been reduced a lot. Like playing real life slutty dolls!

I never know what to think of "reality shows" so my imagination goes all sorts of places!

 

Oh, I believe it's all mapped out this season.  James' and Scheana are plainly acting (badly), and even Tom Sandoval and Ariana are stiff and unnatural.  Plus, Lala was hired to be a player, like Vail was, so her storyline is a faux joke.  I'm thinking there was nothing going on to make it interesting this season (everyone is chill, no beefs with each other, and happy in their relationships and lives), so they had no choice but to create bullshit and/or highly exaggerated stories.

[HouseofBeck]

What's worse than LaLa?  Six LaLa's. 

 

I don't want her even if she IS shipped free!

[ghoulina]

Return to sender!

[Sun-Bun]

LaLa= typical generic LA model/actress behaving in the typically generic LA model/actress manner. The name fits her equally LaLa Land vibe. Yawn...give her a few years and she'll either be some older man's ornament or an aging star-fucker/callgirl in no time.

[Sun-Bun]

Katie definitely is, IMO. She's adorable. Except when she had the orange hair; I swear, I have never seen a hair-color change make such an extreme and negative difference to someone's face!

Honestly, I've never found Katie to be very cute---she has this dopey almost Cro-Magnum cave girl look in her face that I can't seem to overlook. And is she wearing extensions this season? Her hair just has that limp, too-long look about it that almost resembles bad extensions.

Kristen would be so much cuter if she wasn't crazy and greasy.

Scheana is so gaudy and overdone that her natural beauty gets lost underneath everything else.

Arianna is very pretty in an earthy, edgy way, although her smugness really works against that.

I honestly thought Stassi was the prettiest of the whole bunch, bitchy, awful personality notwithstanding. Of course, she's had some major work done to achieve that look...and she has the mark of Jax tainting her, so...

[Ubiquitous]

LaLa= typical generic LA model/actress behaving in the typically generic LA model/actress manner. The name fits her equally LaLa Land vibe. Yawn...give her a few years and she'll either be some older man's ornament or an aging star-fucker/callgirl in no time.

"Will be"? Her admitting to successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks that her modeling gig in Italy was actually for amateur picture-taking and to be someone's eye candy screams "escort" to me.

[TattleTeeny]

Honestly, I've never found Katie to be very cute---she has this dopey almost Cro-Magnum cave girl look in her face that I can't seem to overlook. And is she wearing extensions this season? Her hair just has that limp, too-long look about it that almost resembles bad extensions.

Kristen would be so much cuter if she wasn't crazy and greasy.

Scheana is so gaudy and overdone that her natural beauty gets lost underneath everything else.

Arianna is very pretty in an earthy, edgy way, although her smugness really works against that.

I honestly thought Stassi was the prettiest of the whole bunch, bitchy, awful personality notwithstanding. Of course, she's had some major work done to achieve that look...and she has the mark of Jax tainting her, so...

Honestly, I think all the chicks on the show are pretty good-looking (if often overdone), even Stassi. Even Kristen. I don't really get the "limp hair" stuff though; everyone's hair looks OK to me, again even Kristen's. But that's coming from a person who wishes for a bit more natural "limpness," so...

[Drogo]

 

If this is Cro-Magnon, I'll take two and raise you a Neanderthal.  For me, Katie's easily the most attractive girl on the show.

 

Her little table-number Daniel-san (Faith?) is cute, too- and funny.  So few of them are funny.

[ryebread]

I'd like to know how Katie got the scar by her mouth - on the right side of the picture.  It's very noticeable when she talks a certain way.  It almost looks like she was cut. :-(

 

I find Katie likeable, when she's not drunk, and I don't think we've seen her like that this season, but I think Scheana - sans make-up - is the most beautiful.  But the most beautiful of all, imo, was the black waitress - she was a singer but I've forgotten her name.  Stunning.  And obviously too nice/smart for this crew because she's gone now.

[bichonblitz]

LaLa= typical generic LA model/actress behaving in the typically generic LA model/actress manner. The name fits her equally LaLa Land vibe. Yawn...give her a few years and she'll either be some older man's ornament or an aging star-fucker/callgirl in no time.

Isn't that exactly where Sheana was headed? Until she married the quiet, chubby, druggie Mike Shay? 

[ghoulina]

If this is Cro-Magnon, I'll take two and raise you a Neanderthal.  For me, Katie's easily the most attractive girl on the show.

 

So agree. She has gorgeous eyes and lips. She looked kind of frumpty, dumpty in the first few seasons, but I attribute that to her not knowing the right hair color/makeup for her, and also using too much of it. She seems to have settled into a more polished look now.

[OnceSane]

Stop slut-shaming, please. Yes, Lala appears to be a part-time prostitute, but the tone when discussing her/the possibility is getting to be a bit much.

[FozzyBear]

Stop slut-shaming, please. Yes, Lala appears to be a part-time prostitute, but the tone when discussing her/the possibility is getting to be a bit much.

I have to roll my eyes at the level of interest Katie and Sheena have in the whole thing. What do they care? It's not like it's their restaurant. It's not even like they have a managerial job that involves scheduling shifts. What difference does Lala's Italian side job make to them? Am I supposed to believe that Lala is the first pro to work at SUR? Because...no I do not believe that.

[Sun-Bun]

Stop slut-shaming, please. Yes, Lala appears to be a part-time prostitute, but the tone when discussing her/the possibility is getting to be a bit much.

Well, I don't think we were slut-shaming up there whatsoever---I've got no issues whatsoever with sluts or else I wouldn't even watch this addictive trash. Sluts rule!

But prostitute/escort-shaming? You bet!!

Considering it's illegal in this country and all, I can understand the other gals being all up at arms about their co-worker being a potential lady-of-the-night on the side, bringing her weird sex-industry vibes to the workplace.

[yourmomiseasy]

I'd like to know how Katie got the scar by her mouth - on the right side of the picture.  It's very noticeable when she talks a certain way.  It almost looks like she was cut. :-(

 

 

I don't actually remember the details, but she was injured in some kind of accident.  I think it was when she was a child or teen and it was pretty bad, but I might be wrong about this. She mentioned it on WWHL or on a reunion -- something involving Andy Cohen.  I feel like it was WWHL after last season when she was wearing that plum dress and people thought she might be pregnant and she said she fell through a skylight as a kid.  

Edited November 20, 2015 by yourmomiseasy

[FanOfTheFans]

Why is it that I like Lisa's Ken on RHBH but can't stand him on VR? He just comes across so elitist. I hate the way he talks to his employees.

[WhosThatGirl]

Considering it's illegal in this country and all, I can understand the other gals being all up at arms about their co-worker being a potential lady-of-the-night on the side, bringing her weird sex-industry vibes to the workplace.

 

Yeah and that she flat out lied to Lisa about needing to be off of work because of a modeling job. She even talking head said she was lying about what she was really doing.