Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[Kohola3]

Good news!  You can still get Flaky Pilot Biscuits at a Coop in Newfoundland!

https://www.shopclarenvillecoop.ca/shop/product/16641/Purity_Flaky_Pilot_Biscuits_350_g_

[DakotaJustice]

I haven't bought cereal other than oatmeal in years but not only do I miss Grapenuts but also the big pillows of Shredded Wheat. Do they still make them? 

[CalicoKitty]

My dad ate two big biscuits of Shredded Wheat every morning until he was too ill to swallow.  Often he would put Grape Nuts on top.  These were his favorites.  Yes, they do still make the original big Shredded Wheat biscuits.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

LOL, they are certainly an aquired taste, and tricky to eat...must let the milk soak in just enough so it's not like eating the shells of actual nuts, but not so much as to turn the cereal into paste.

Honey Nut Cheerios are much more forgiving, just sayin'. 🙂

You can add milk and heat in the microwave, or stove top.  It makes them more like a thick oatmeal.  But still you have to add something to make it sweet or taste better

[lookeyloo]

The Oprah magazine had a recipe using grape nuts, a while back.  Daughter in law makes them every Thanksgiving and we call them "Oprah Cookies"

[xwordfanatik]

We tried something called Sailor Boy Pilot Bread a few years ago.  It had very little taste as I recall.  @Sandy W, your Flaky Pilots may have been similar.

We used to like Grape Nuts, but probably haven't bought cereal except oatmeal (me) and Cream of Wheat (Mr. X) since our daughter moved out 20 years ago.  It's funny how our tastes change as we age.  I used to be a sugar addict and I lost my sweet tooth years ago.  

 

[Twopper]

3 hours ago, laurakaye said:

LOL, they are certainly an aquired taste, and tricky to eat...must let the milk soak in just enough so it's not like eating the shells of actual nuts, but not so much as to turn the cereal into paste.

Honey Nut Cheerios are much more forgiving, just sayin'. 🙂

My neighbor brought us Honey Nut Cheerios during the earlier days of the pandemic, because that was the only variety she could find.  I am allergic to nuts so I had to research it to find there are no nuts in it, either.   We don't eat Grape Nuts like regular cereal.   I use them to sprinkle on cobblers and oatmeal to add some crunch.  And as mentioned before, with fresh peaches and vanilla yogurt.  

 

3 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Good news!  You can still get Flaky Pilot Biscuits at a Coop in Newfoundland!

https://www.shopclarenvillecoop.ca/shop/product/16641

Never heard of this.  I must research; the name at first made me think it was some type of variation on hard tack which is really, really hard to find.

[Kohola3]

49 minutes ago, Twopper said:

Never heard of this.  I must research; the name at first made me think it was some type of variation on hard tack which is really, really hard to find.

You are correct, it is a type of hard tack. You can find it in most fishing communities in small stores. That travels well and it's already stale so the fisherman don't mind!

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, Twopper said:

My neighbor brought us Honey Nut Cheerios during the earlier days of the pandemic, because that was the only variety she could find.  I am allergic to nuts so I had to research it to find there are no nuts in it, either.   We don't eat Grape Nuts like regular cereal.   I use them to sprinkle on cobblers and oatmeal to add some crunch.  And as mentioned before, with fresh peaches and vanilla yogurt.  

 

Never heard of this.  I must research; the name at first made me think it was some type of variation on hard tack which is really, really hard to find.

Hard tack is available at my Fred Meyer store.  I think it's called something like Crispbread. It reminds me of the Rye Krisp crackers my sister was fond of in the 60's.

[MargeGunderson]

Now I’m annoyed that I’m out of Honey Nut Cheerios, and I want Grape Nuts!

[suomi]

A Flaky Pilot goes by many names and all are classified as a sustenance food item most often seen in outdoor, military and survival kits. Kohola is correct in saying that it's a variety of hardtack. 

It's sad to hear that Sandy and her bro were disappointed after longing for them but uplifting to know that their dad treated them to something he knew they wanted very much. 

Edited June 15, 2020 by suomi

[Teafortwo]

I was on a Raisin Bran kick when all this craziness started. Kellogg's. Except for a couple weeks in mid-March just after the pandemic hit, and one week in late April where I found two boxes on sale, I have not been able to find it. I can sometimes find Post Raisin Bran and I've bought Cascadian Farms (organic) and a really yucky brand called Urban Meadow, but they just do not taste the same. The flakes are a different texture also. I miss the Kellogg's. In mid-March I began eating Raisin Bran nearly every morning. I need one meal where I don't have to do any preparation. I'm not used to making every single meal at home, as I've done since around March 15 (the last time I bought a turkey sandwich from a deli). I make a sandwich for lunch usually. Today for the first time I went to our local fish store (they've been open all along but it's a longer walk than I am comfortable with now due to people without masks on the narrow sidewalks). I had scallops for dinner and bought a salmon filet for the freezer and fresh flounder which I will eat tomorrow. Except for canned tuna (the chunk light kind) and some subpar lox from the supermarket (once) I have not had any fish since March. Only chicken, sliced turkey and ground beef. I don't usually eat much beef anyway. I also bought a little package of Nova Scotia salmon.

It was a pretty big accomplishment in my now restricted world to go to the fish store. I also went to CVS twice - because it turned out they required ID for my prescription. I could have had it delivered but I didn't want to wait 2 days. CVS usually has Kellogg's Raisin Bran on sale but this time all they had was Raisin Bran crunch -- too much extra sugar.

I'm debating even posting this. It's a pretty blah recital of my diet.

 

[Kyanight]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

EBay would never tolerate a lot of that stuff. 

I love Ebay.  I've found the most incredible treasures that I would never have found otherwise, because I can access cool stuff that is being sold from all over the world.

But..... starting in January, Ebay went WAYYY downhill.  I've been burned about 8 times since January, and Ebay doesn't back up their buyers right now.   There is almost no customer service because of Covid, and I have actually had Ebay close my "cases" without them ever being resolved.  Once Ebay closes a case it can't be opened again, and because Ebay strung me along it was too late to leave bad feedback for the crappy sellers who took my money and didn't send my items.

   I have 5,798 feedback (100% positive - even as a seller) and before January I probably had a total of three or four issues with sellers and they were quickly resolved.  To have had double the amount of problems in FIVE months than I had in TWENTY-TWO years prior to that is really sad.  

Edit:  To add to this.... they pulled Gone With the Wind from Netflix and from Amazon.  I decided I wanted a copy of this movie - even though it MIGHT come back (or might not).  Sometimes when they archive stuff, they just find it easier to forget about it.  So I bought it the other day for $50 on Ebay.  And then I noticed that the seller sold a HUNDRED copies in a matter of 2 hours.  And then he relisted his auction (but it was under a different seller's name) and sold more.  Ebay isn't going to go anything about it, and I'll bet I don't get my movie.   https://www.ebay.com/itm/Gone-With-the-Wind-DVD-2009-2-Disc-Set-70th-Anniversary-Edition-BRAND-NEW/383584753911?ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT&_trksid=p2060353.m2749.l2649

Edited June 16, 2020 by Kyanight

[Kyanight]

10 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

I'm debating even posting this. It's a pretty blah recital of my diet.

I've back spaced over three different posts tonight prior to my posting them.  I told myself, "No one gives a damn, you ass!"  But I LOVED reading your post.  I love hearing what people have to say, no matter how mundane they think it might be.   I think I've said this before, but my friends have all passed away.  My only friends now are my children, so reading on this thread is like chatting with friends over coffee and maybe lemon pound cake or something... minus the coffee and the lemon pound cake or something.  lol

[suomi]

Lemon. Pound. Cake. I will gladly be your friend!

[Kohola3]

7 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I'm debating even posting this. It's a pretty blah recital of my diet.

It's a whole new world out there and it's kind of interesting to hear how others are navigating it and also how different things are regionally.  We have plenty of Kellogg's Raisin Bran here, never had a shortage.  Still no hand sanitizer or Clorox/Lysol wipes though.  And still now "normal" rolls of TP - they are little mini-rolls with a huge tube inside so you get about 250 squares before you are out.  It's like they are made for elves!

7 hours ago, Kyanight said:

But..... starting in January, Ebay went WAYYY downhill. 

Glad to hear abou the eBay warning. I don't get a lot from them but occasionally I put in an order.  Haven't had any issues (well, once a long time ago) so never thought twice about ordering through them. I will certainly think twice for a while.  I've gotten all of my  computer equipment for the past 20 years through eBay.

I drop by this forum just to have a comforting moment of sharing.  I know it's virtual but we all post so often it is like chatting with long distance friends.

 

[Yeah No]

21 hours ago, Roslyn said:

What kind of cole slaw?  I wouldn't worry about a slaw with vinegar in it.  If the kitchen staff is following proper hygiene for a professional kitchen as well as face masks and limiting the handling of the food into the packaging I would say to enjoy your cole slaw.

All of my reading on the spread of the virus says that you can have more issues with the packaging that take out food comes in rather than the food itself. Use caution on the packaging and transfer the food to your own dishes and then dispose of the food containers and gloves etc from handling as if it is contaminated.  Wash your hands and counter etc and then enjoy. 🙂

Thanks, I don't know if it will have vinegar, but knowing the chef like I do it probably will.  I had the cole slaw at one of his other restaurants and it was very vinegary.  If any restaurant is following proper hygiene it will be this one.  It's one of the best restaurants in the state and the chef has appeared on "Top Chef" and "Beat Bobby Flay", plus he's been nominated five years in a row for a James Beard award.  So I guess I'm worrying too much.

I am especially afraid of the packaging and will do my usual by handling it with gloves and sanitizing everything like I do with groceries.

I don't know, I'm just afraid of later hearing about an outbreak in the restaurant and then worrying if any of those infected-but-didn't-know-it people handled my food.  I suppose that's a long shot, though.

19 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Good news!  You can still get Flaky Pilot Biscuits at a Coop in Newfoundland!

https://www.shopclarenvillecoop.ca/shop/product/16641/Purity_Flaky_Pilot_Biscuits_350_g_

I've heard of those - they remind me of the Crown Pilots that Nabisco made but discontinued about a decade ago.

The Vermont Country Store still carries a form of hard tack-ey crackers that are like the ones traditionally used in chowders but which have been all but discontinued elsewhere.

https://www.vermontcountrystore.com/vermont-common-crackers-3-boxes/product/H4792

9 hours ago, Kyanight said:

I love Ebay.  I've found the most incredible treasures that I would never have found otherwise, because I can access cool stuff that is being sold from all over the world.

But..... starting in January, Ebay went WAYYY downhill.  I've been burned about 8 times since January, and Ebay doesn't back up their buyers right now.   There is almost no customer service because of Covid, and I have actually had Ebay close my "cases" without them ever being resolved.  Once Ebay closes a case it can't be opened again, and because Ebay strung me along it was too late to leave bad feedback for the crappy sellers who took my money and didn't send my items.

I'm actually not all that surprised to hear this because a lot of major companies I deal with (like banks) have also gone downhill since the pandemic in terms of customer service.  Although I have called them recently regarding a customer that wanted to return an item and didn't feel like anything was different.  I have been ordering stuff all through and haven't had any trouble receiving items myself.  You've had an unusual amount of trouble.  I am fairly twitchy about who I buy from.  If their seller rating is anything less than Top Rated/100% I think twice.  I think it depends on what kind of stuff you like to buy, too.  I'm not into collectibles, usually just stuff I can't find elsewhere like discontinued items or expensive makeup that I find much cheaper on Ebay.

Speaking of that, my father's car is still sitting in my driveway waiting to be picked up.  Chase Bank promised me that someone would contact me about picking it up but so far nothing and it's been over a month!  They did warn me it might take longer because of the pandemic but this is getting ridiculous now and I dread calling them and waiting on hold forever to speak with someone and get nowhere anyway.

9 hours ago, Kyanight said:

I've back spaced over three different posts tonight prior to my posting them.  I told myself, "No one gives a damn, you ass!"  But I LOVED reading your post.  I love hearing what people have to say, no matter how mundane they think it might be.   I think I've said this before, but my friends have all passed away.  My only friends now are my children, so reading on this thread is like chatting with friends over coffee and maybe lemon pound cake or something... minus the coffee and the lemon pound cake or something.  lol

I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost all your friends - I am very glad that you consider us here your friends, even though we are virtual!

As for me, my entire family has passed away and now I only have friends and my husband and his sister and her family left.  And I can't see most of my friends now because they live in NY and none of us are traveling.  I have been meeting up regularly with my local friend Sandi at the park where we sit in the shade at picnic tables spaced far apart and wearing masks, but otherwise it's only been phone contact with my friends.

Oh, and the neighbors stopped by for a chit-chat in the driveway yesterday.  That was interesting, I'll have to post about that later.

Edited June 16, 2020 by Yeah No

[Juliegirlj]

When I was about 14 I was watching some late night tv and got hungry. I decided on a bowl of grape nuts cereal. I fixed a bowl and started eating it but it needed more milk. When I opened the refrigerator to get more milk I looked down at my bowl and the cereal was moving....... mealy worms or whatever those pantry critters are called. Ruined Grape Nuts for me forever!! 

[deirdra]

When I was about 14, my sister & I were making my mother's birthday cake from scratch. All was going well until I opened the icing sugar and there were huge juicy carpenter ants crawling around in it!  I've never used icing sugar since (going on 52 years).  Cream cheese icing or a glaze is yummier anyways.

In the bakery aisle, the mere sight of a box/bag of icing sugar on the shelf makes my brain flash that old squirmy ant video in my head.

Edited June 16, 2020 by deirdra

[Twopper]

10 hours ago, Kyanight said:

My only friends now are my children, so reading on this thread is like chatting with friends over coffee and maybe lemon pound cake or something... minus the coffee and the lemon pound cake or something.  lol

Come and sit by me,  I have a lemon-cheese layer cake from a local bakery, but no pound cake. I won my mother a $5 prize from the Atlanta Constitution when I was about 4 years old for my version of a pound cake recipe. 

I was going to mention the paper product shortage.  The major chain supermarket had lots of brown boxes of toilet tissue on the shelf.  I think customers are limited to one box which I think probably has 12 rolls.  Whether it is the 12=18, 12=24 or 12=36 I have no idea.  Could be the 12=12 size roll for all I could tell.  They had almost no paper towels.   Fortunately,  I have very gradually accumulated a good supply of both items.   The locally owned store I went to a few days later also had toilet paper, although it was an off brand made in Nicaragua.  It was a small package so I bought one out of curiosity.  It was okay, but too scented.  They also seemed almost out of paper towels, but as I was about to leave they brought in lots of large packages of Bounty.  The chain store has an employee at the front door keeping a count of how many people are in the store; there is a sign outside that says full capacity is 1300 people, but only 650 can come in at a time now.  If that number includes the store's workers,then the customer load would be considerably lower--maybe 500.  They have the one-way direction arrows for the narrower aisles.  And most people are masked.   The smaller local market doesn't have its aisles marked.  It carries about a dozen things that the larger chains don't have so I am never in there very long.  Not quite as many masked people.

10 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I'm not used to making every single meal at home, as I've done since around March 15 (the last time I bought a turkey sandwich from a deli). I make a sandwich for lunch usually.

Tell me about it.  I had no idea how often we ate out until we got stuck at home.  Mr Twopper was a short order cook during college so he is good for making breakfast  WHEN I ask;  he does volunteer on occasion.   I am making sandwiches at lunch more often.  Instead of cooking all our dinners from scratch, I am buying lots of frozen casseroles  that I can heat up and serve with a large side salad.  We are also drinking wine more often and having dessert with most dinners so we will be fat by the time this is over.   The casseroles are locally made.

This pandemic is making this COL very grumpy  so I guess I am either a GCOL or a CGOL.  At any rate, stay healthy everyone and keep 6 feet away from me in all the forums.  And wear your mask and gloves when you type.

[Yeah No]

I used to have trouble with those little worms in flour but found out that freezing grains and other normally shelf stable pantry items for about 2 days prevents bugs from growing in them.  I'm not sure why it works but I've never had that problem since I do that.  It works for cereals and rice too.  Also, keeping them in tight storage jars helps bugs from getting in from the outside.

https://www.offthegridnews.com/how-to-2/does-freezing-food-really-kill-bugs/

A few years ago we suddenly had a problem with mice getting into our lower kitchen cabinets and we didn't understand why.  I took out every food item that I thought wasn't tightly sealed in a jar or can and washed everything thoroughly but it didn't help.  I didn't realize that one of the cans in the back of the lazy susan was not really made of metal but cardboard.  It was a can of protein powder I had forgotten about.  I thought it was my husband's so I didn't touch it.  We had never had this problem before so it was a real head scratcher.  So one day I just took everything off the entire lazy susan and discovered a small hole near the bottom of the can where the critters were getting in and out.  It explained everything and we never had the problem again.

 

[Roslyn]

12 hours ago, Kyanight said:

My only friends now are my children, so reading on this thread is like chatting with friends over coffee and maybe lemon pound cake or something... minus the coffee and the lemon pound cake or something.  lol

 

1 hour ago, Twopper said:

Come and sit by me,  I have a lemon-cheese layer cake from a local bakery, but no pound cake. I won my mother a $5 prize from the Atlanta Constitution when I was about 4 years old for my version of a pound cake recipe.

I am trumping your lemony cakes with the best damn chocolate chip cookies I have ever made. It is saying something, I have baked for 47 years (25-ish years professionally) and have made a metric square ton of chocolate chip cookies...and I can say these are the best ever.  Toss out those commercial chocolate chips and chop up 70% bittersweet chocolate bars!! 

[Teafortwo]

12 hours ago, Kyanight said:

I've back spaced over three different posts tonight prior to my posting them.  I told myself, "No one gives a damn, you ass!"  But I LOVED reading your post.  I love hearing what people have to say, no matter how mundane they think it might be.   I think I've said this before, but my friends have all passed away.  My only friends now are my children, so reading on this thread is like chatting with friends over coffee and maybe lemon pound cake or something... minus the coffee and the lemon pound cake or something.  lol

Thank you so much, Kyanight. Lemon pound cake = yummm. Re: clorox wipes - my brother found some at a store near his home in NJ and is sending it to me!! Before I learned this, I found 2 containers of Clorox wipes on Amazon. 3rd party seller and they were $9.99 each. I felt so desperate I bought 2. Then found out the shipping cost was $22. What? I almost didn't do it but in the end I did. With tax it was $46 for two containers. If it's not a scam. 

I bought it because with my asthma, I am reluctant to use bleach. Clorox wipes are actually ammonia. I would rather use rubbing alcohol than either bleach or ammonia, but haven't been able to find any. 

In other news, I've been so down in the dumps with everything going on and my neighborhood teeming with protesters (big gathering spot nearby) that I didn't venture outside for almost 2 weeks except to take out the garbage. The weather was beautiful yesterday (and today) after a period of humidity and close to 90 degree temps. It felt so good to be outside yesterday that I think I may do it more despite the risks. I support the protests and the First Amendment right to peaceably assemble, I just worry about the possibility that these events are spreading the disease more widely than is yet known. 

When I do go for a walk, I take a shower and wash my hair after. 

[Kyanight]

2 hours ago, Twopper said:

Tell me about it.  I had no idea how often we ate out until we got stuck at home.  Mr Twopper was a short order cook during college so he is good for making breakfast  WHEN I ask;  he does volunteer on occasion. 

I tend to repeat myself, so if I am - AGAIN - just ignore me.  One of my sons went to culinary school and BOY could that boy COOK!!! I got to eat a FEAST of stuff back in the kitchen when he and his crew made a huge meal for some uppity-up Christmas charity function.  I STILL look back on that night's extravagant meal with a dreamy smile!  lol

 He made a couple of fancy things for me but never a meal.  He NEVER cooked meals for us other than those MAYBE two desserts.  Not long ago I asked him why and he said, "It's cooking in your mother's kitchen.  I don't like it."

Snort.  But even now he only makes simple dishes for himself.  I wonder why?  

I should have married a fancy chef.  Who LOVED to cook at home.  I blew it.

[Kohola3]

OK, so soliciting thoughts from my viritual family here.

A very dear friend who lives in an area with lots of cases has asked to come and visit me and stay in my home.  I know she has been working at home and has been very careful.  But I still have the heebie-jeebies about letting anyone in.  Am I going overboard? I suppose at some point I have to trust people but is it too soon? 

I feel like the old STD commmercials - if you have unprotected sex, you are having sex with all of the people your partner had sex with!

[Teafortwo]

13 hours ago, Kyanight said:

they pulled Gone With the Wind from Netflix and from Amazon.  I decided I wanted a copy of this movie - even though it MIGHT come back (or might not).

I really do not get this. I do not condone censorship in any form (hate speech excepted). I used to teach English. We sometimes used film as a teaching tool also. I understand GWTW has racist elements, but censoring it does not remove racism from our nation's history. It's important to preserve this sort of thing and CRITIQUE it, examine it for its racist underpinnings, and discuss it in its historical context.  We should be examining the consequences of this film and others like it - a larger discussion of the role of art in perpetuating prejudice, racism, the way white-controlled productions portrayed black people. Society cannot root out racism if we simply try to erase cultural artifacts. The film's place in cinema history is very, very important. It is also a great cinematic achievement and highly entertaining. I hope you receive the copy you paid for. 

It's really scary to think what else might be suppressed now. GWTW is a hugely important cultural document of the 1930s, in part because it was so popular, it had such a huge budget and scope, it influenced the production of later films -- and yes, also because of its racist elements. Suppressing it is horrifying. Racism needs to be examined under a microscope if anything is going to change. It can't simply be erased. The consequences of such erasure would be what? That racism never existed? It does and did exist - it's ingrained in our system and history. How do we understand where we are now and where we want to be in the future, if we erase history?

[Kohola3]

I never liked GWTW so I am not speaking the view of a big fan. But I do see elements of Book Burning here and that's horrifying to me.  

8 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

It's important to preserve this sort of thing and CRITIQUE it, examine it for its racist underpinnings, and discuss it in its historical context.  We should be examining the consequences of this film and others like it - a larger discussion of the role of art in perpetuating prejudice, racism, the way white-controlled productions portrayed black people.

All disputed texts should be used as teaching tools.  Mein Kampf is abhorrent but if we don't learn from history (and its documentation thereof) we are doomed to repeat it.

I don't know, perhaps if I were a person of color or Jewish I might feel differently.  I honestly find myself in quandaries almost  daily anymore.  Too much time on my hands, I guess.

[Kyanight]

3 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

All disputed texts should be used as teaching tools.  Mein Kampf is abhorrent but if we don't learn from history (and its documentation thereof) we are doomed to repeat it.

I don't know, perhaps if I were a person of color or Jewish I might feel differently.  I honestly find myself in quandaries almost  daily anymore.  Too much time on my hands, I guess.

I've been so depressed lately.  It's just all SO MUCH!!  The events unfolding around the world (but mostly in the U.S.) are almost too much to take any more.

[TurtlePower]

12 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

I never liked GWTW so I am not speaking the view of a big fan. But I do see elements of Book Burning here and that's horrifying to me.  

All disputed texts should be used as teaching tools.  Mein Kampf is abhorrent but if we don't learn from history (and its documentation thereof) we are doomed to repeat it.

I don't know, perhaps if I were a person of color or Jewish I might feel differently.  I honestly find myself in quandaries almost  daily anymore.  Too much time on my hands, I guess.

I agree. I'm Jewish and desperately try to get into the minds of those who hate us, even Hitler. Like, why? I still don't comprehend it, despite all the time I've spent reading about it. Maybe it's because I don't have the capacity to hate based on religion or race, so I'll never understand.

Banning books is a terrible idea. We have to learn from the past and removing those parts of history could result in denial (there are already enough holocaust deniers). Humans have already demonstrated their inability to learn from the past, let's not make it any easier by pretending bad things don't exist. 

I have never seen Gone with the Wind. 

[Kyanight]

5 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

Banning books is a terrible idea. We have to learn from the past and removing those parts of history could result in denial (there are already enough holocaust deniers). Humans have already demonstrated their inability to learn from the past, let's not make it any easier by pretending bad things don't exist. 

I have never seen Gone with the Wind. 

I'm not crazy about the movie, that's why I didn't already own a copy.  But I hate "book burnings", and I dislike someone taking away my CHOICE to view or not view an old movie based on their own reasons.  Perhaps they are valid, perhaps not - but I am an adult and can decide for myself.  Hell - they leave porn alone even though it exploits women of ALL color and can be disgusting.  My choice is not to view it - but someone didn't have to decide that FOR me.  And I don't have to decide that OTHERS cannot view it if they so choose.

I'm rambling.  

I don't understand hatred for entire races of people, or genders or any other traits - inherent or otherwise.  I absolutely CANNOT wrap my mind around the atrocities people can actually DO to other human beings.  The things that people did to innocents in the death camps and outside of them is mind boggling.  And they can LIVE with themselves!  And I CANNOT understand how there are idiots who can SEE photos of liberating death camps where the people don't even look like people but walking skeletons.. and say it never happened.

Sometimes I feel like mankind has barely passed through the stone age.  

[Kohola3]

4 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Sometimes I feel like mankind has barely passed through the stone age.  

We passed through it but we're sliding backwards rapidly.

[laurakaye]

49 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I've been so depressed lately.  It's just all SO MUCH!!  The events unfolding around the world (but mostly in the U.S.) are almost too much to take any more.

It is too much.  It's way too much.  I feel like my brain can only hold so much negative information before I feel it switch off and the result is that instead of feeling anxious, I feel nothing.  I have been down this particular road before with post-partum depression so I know what it feels like -  not sad, just empty.  I think it must be some sort of defense mechanism to keep from feeling too much.  I have several friends who feel the exact same way, which makes me both sad and comforted.

It is pretty cool to be able to come here and just be whoever we happen to be on any given day.

 

[Twopper]

36 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

I have never seen Gone with the Wind. 

I read the book once as a teenager and saw the movie which leaves out so much of the book due to time constraints otherwise it would be 24 hours long.  It was brought back a few years ago for its 75th anniversary, and we went with a group to see it at a local movie house.  My mother went to the second showing of it when it premiered in Atlanta.  She was absolutely star struck.  http://www.aboutnorthgeorgia.com/ang/Atlanta_Premiere_of_Gone_With_The_Wind

There was an official sequel called "Scarlett" that came out in the 90's and there are many unofficial ones.  I have an unread copy of "Scarlett" on a book shelf in a back room;  I have never been tempted to even open it.

My husband saw the movie as a teenage.  He felt fine when he went in , but 4-5 hours later when he emerged he had broken out with either measles or chicken pox.

I have probably mentioned this before--the podcast "You must remember this" has a six-part series on "Song of the South."  Episode 2 is mostly about Hattie MacDonald. 

I ventured forth this morning to the curb market  for early peaches and some camp stew (aka brunswick stew).  There are fewer vendors and fewer customers during the week with about half in masks.  Keeping 6 feet apart is impossible so it bugs me that more people were maskless. 

[sharkerbaby]

I abhor the tendency of today's society to judge the past (whether it's people, events, literature, or any form of the arts, etc) based upon the values, morals, and understanding of today.  Then keeping in line with today's ever present "cancel culture" we tend to assign everything even remotely associated with said individual, event, author, etc as evil incarnate.  I'm sure we've all heard the phrase "don't throw the baby out with the bath water", well it seems to me, that is being done on a massive scale across all aspects of our society and culture and it truly concerns me.

[TurtlePower]

2 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

We passed through it but we're sliding backwards rapidly.

Agreed. We humans have the capacity to move past our ancient, tribal tendencies but we're so quick to slip up and lose any progress we've made. With all the noise and rabble-rousing, logic doesn't stand a chance to step in for a much needed intervention. We should be more highly evolved than this by now. 

[Scarlett45]

As a black woman, I love the movie Gone with the Wind and am glad I have it in DVD so I can watch it when I want. My great aunt was my nanny growing up and it was her favorite film, my screen name is a nod to her and it. It’s a movie filled with racism but The movie isn’t a “how to” on how to harm or hate others which would be a different thing IMO. It’s a work of historical fiction.

Of course I know how absolutely racist it is. But we can use it to teach. We can use it to remind people how Clark Gable had the set integrated for EVERYONE (both back stage people and actors). We can also talk about Hattie McDaniel’s career and how she couldn’t even go to the premiere of her own damn movie, but she told Clark that he had to go. 
 

Of course if the movie upsets someone I wouldn’t force them to watch. I have to be in a certain head space to watch certain depictions of slavery. The rape and violence don’t bother me but the scenes where kids are sold away from their parents- I just can’t. Or disabled slaves are tortured- I can’t. (Those who know me from other boards understand why).

 

 I think we should advance as a society and maybe make antebellum era movies (As an example)  WITH complex black characters, and be true to the area and the racism of it while represent the oppressed people in a realistic way. Has anyone read The Invention of Wings? It’s a historical fiction novel about Sarah Grimke (an actual abolitionist) and the slave she is gifted on her twelfth birthday, both women are written so well and that would be an excellent film, acknowledging the truth of the time but not excusing it. 

* damn Clark Gable was fine- I had to add a photo!

[sharkerbaby]

A little peak into the paranoid part of my psyche:   that "numb" feeling mentioned above, I believe that is becoming rather prevalent and should be foreseeable as overexposure to anything can easily lead to desensitization.  My fear here is that it's a little like "attack therapy" in that people can be beaten down to such a point that they are then susceptible and willing to accept far more than they would have been otherwise.   It's almost like we are being conditioned and our way of life as we know it (and perhaps value) will never be even close to what it once was, and I'm talking in ways outside of anything that a novel virus has brought about.

As just a few examples - Who would have thought:

• even just 2 months ago that we would seriously be considering abolishing the police? 
• 4 months ago that we'd be looking at every stranger, neighbor, friend and even family with weary suspicion and distrust?
• 6 months ago we'd be asked to monitor everyone around us and given a special number by the government to call and report even our neighbors, friends, and family members for non compliance with the government's guidelines? (sound familiar  - think back to Stalinist era Soviet Union)
• a year or 2 ago that we'd be stumbling over how to refer to someone when using pronouns?
• 5 years ago it'd be common place to vilify and shout down those who have opinions different from our own?
• 6 years ago some religions could be practiced with impunity while others are looked upon with derision and mockery?
• 6 years ago a nuclear family would be looked upon as a problem that should be dismantled while a non traditional family was lauded and praised?
• 10 years ago much of parenting decisions regarding the health, well being, values, and morals would be taken out of the hands of parents and handed over to the schools and other social services organizations?

I am not typically a conspiracy theorist but so much has morphed and in an extremely accelerated time frame that I wonder if any of us will like how we are living 5 or 10 years from now.  None of those are small subtle gradual changes rather they are significant sweeping changes that penetrate very significant portions of our daily lives.

Edited June 16, 2020 by sharkerbaby

[Scarlett45]

@sharkerbaby I don’t pretend to have all of the answers but cultural changes come in fits and spirts. 
Examples of swift cultural changes:

1. In the span of a few months I went from being 3/5 of a person to a legal person in the 19th century.

 

2. I was allowed to own property in my own name not being able to do it a year before. 
 

3. Citizens are forced to send their children to school (or home school) and business are not allowed to hire children under x age to work x number of hours if at all. 
 

4. All persons are allowed to stand in the same line at the post office. 
 

5. All children are allowed an education even if they are “malformed” or “unsightly” or “pejorative for mentally disabled people here”.

6. Companies/individuals can get patents for sex toys. 
 

7. Upon application for a first job (and now after birth) every USA citizen is given a tracking number they use for business purposes throughout their life (a social security number). 
 

8. We carry commuters in our pockets. 

24 minutes ago, sharkerbaby said:

10 years ago much of parenting decisions regarding the health, well being, values, and morals would be taken out of the hands of parents and handed over to the schools and other social services organizations?

IMO the big parenting decision changes in mainstream North American culture (if there is such a thing) happened when mandatory schooling came into effect and the labor movement dismantled child labor in the late 19th early 20th century. 

[LilWharveyGal]

Can I jump back to the Ebay/Poshmark topic for a sec?

Is there a site (Ebay, Poshmark, or other) where any of you would recommend selling like-new clothing?  My husband bought some new clothes, cut off the tags, washed them...and only then decided to try them on and discovered they didn't fit.  🤦‍♀️

ETA: Thanks @Kyanight and @Scarlett45!

Edited June 17, 2020 by LilWharveyGal

[Kyanight]

6 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Can I jump back to the Ebay/Poshmark topic for a sec?

Is there a site (Ebay, Poshmark, or other) where any of you would recommend selling like-new clothing?  My husband bought some new clothes, cut off the tags, washed them...and only then decided to try them on and discovered they didn't fit.  🤦‍♀️

 

I always had great luck selling on Ebay.  It's lately BUYING on Ebay (since there is no customer service) that has been "iffy".  But like Yeah said, that probably depends on what you buy and where you buy from... and I've had the worst luck buying from China.

[LydiaE]

7 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

As a black woman, I love the movie Gone with the Wind and am glad I have it in DVD so I can watch it when I want. My great aunt was my nanny growing up and it was her favorite film, my screen name is a nod to her and it. It’s a movie filled with racism but The movie isn’t a “how to” on how to harm or hate others which would be a different thing IMO. It’s a work of historical fiction.

Of course I know how absolutely racist it is. But we can use it to teach. We can use it to remind people how Clark Gable had the set integrated for EVERYONE (both back stage people and actors). We can also talk about Hattie McDaniel’s career and how she couldn’t even go to the premiere of her own damn movie, but she told Clark that he had to go. 
 

Of course if the movie upsets someone I wouldn’t force them to watch. I have to be in a certain head space to watch certain depictions of slavery. The rape and violence don’t bother me but the scenes where kids are sold away from their parents- I just can’t. Or disabled slaves are tortured- I can’t. (Those who know me from other boards understand why).

 

 I think we should advance as a society and maybe make antebellum era movies (As an example)  WITH complex black characters, and be true to the area and the racism of it while represent the oppressed people in a realistic way. Has anyone read The Invention of Wings? It’s a historical fiction novel about Sarah Grimke (an actual abolitionist) and the slave she is gifted on her twelfth birthday, both women are written so well and that would be an excellent film, acknowledging the truth of the time but not excusing it. 

* damn Clark Gable was fine- I had to add a photo!

Scarlett45,

Did you enjoy the book at all? I read it as a teen and I thought it was so fascinating that there was a counterculture/class system amongst the different slaves and poor whites. For instance, Mammy called the field slaves pretty horrible things and referred to the poor whites in the area as “white trash” and felt socially superior to them as a house slave and generational governess/admin assistant. I also found it fascinating that Scarlet’s mom literally ran the plantation.  She and Mammy had to miss out on the Wilke’s BBQ because they had to stay home and settle the ledgers, etc. while Scarlet’s dad was out flirting with the local women.  While, I don’t think the movie is ‘racist’ (people don’t even use that term properly anymore!), it made Mammy and Scarlet’s mother seem like worthless chattel and they were not!

Given that, it’s very disturbing that our myopic society is focusing on the atrocities  of so long ago when there are so many modern day indentured servants, sex trafficking victims, child brides, and actual slaves the world over. No one is focusing on these poor people. No charities being propped up. No celebrities stirring up emotion. No one demanding safehouses and lifelong therapy options for these people. Our society is sick and so selfish and it always has been.

[DakotaJustice]

8 hours ago, Kyanight said:

I always had great luck selling on Ebay.  It's lately BUYING on Ebay (since there is no customer service) that has been "iffy".  But like Yeah said, that probably depends on what you buy and where you buy from... and I've had the worst luck buying from China.

I sold a ton of clothes on PM years ago, made some money but it took so long and was such a pain in the butt that now I just donate and get a tax write-off. 

[Scarlett45]

7 hours ago, LydiaE said:

Scarlett45,

Did you enjoy the book at all? I read it as a teen and I thought it was so fascinating that there was a counterculture/class system amongst the different slaves and poor whites. For instance, Mammy called the field slaves pretty horrible things and referred to the poor whites in the area as “white trash” and felt socially superior to them as a house slave and generational governess/admin assistant. I also found it fascinating that Scarlet’s mom literally ran the plantation.  She and Mammy had to miss out on the Wilke’s BBQ because they had to stay home and settle the ledgers, etc. while Scarlet’s dad was out flirting with the local women.  While, I don’t think the movie is ‘racist’ (people don’t even use that term properly anymore!), it made Mammy and Scarlet’s mother seem like worthless chattel and they were not!

Given that, it’s very disturbing that our myopic society is focusing on the atrocities  of so long ago when there are so many modern day indentured servants, sex trafficking victims, child brides, and actual slaves the world over. No one is focusing on these poor people. No charities being propped up. No celebrities stirring up emotion. No one demanding safehouses and lifelong therapy options for these people. Our society is sick and so selfish and it always has been.

I did enjoy the book.

However I came from a family that used the work to teach me about how the social hierarchies put in by slavery were used to pit black people against each other, the intersectionality between race, sex and class, the complexities of “expectations and ingenuity”. Scarlett for all of her faults, found a way when there was NO WAY. When everything she was raised to be was taken from her she kept a roof over her family’s head. 
 

Mammy and Mrs O’hara were chattel though, (Mammy more so obviously)- they BELONGED to Mr O’hara. No matter their brilliance or hard work he got credit for everything they did. Margaret Mitchell- being a white woman of her time, gave more layers to Mrs O’Hara, having her acknowledge that her hard work was always going to be credited to her husband and it was a “man’s world”. “A man owns the plantation, a woman manages it.”

 A more balanced writer would’ve given the same layers to Mammy- internal thoughts about her place in the home and how she worked so intimately with her oppressors and the ambivalent feelings that came along with that. Also to Dicey- Pork’s wife. She barely has enough to eat, is trying to nurse her own baby and Beau. No she may not want baby Beau to starve but she resents being FORCED to perhaps compromise the needs of her own child to feed this white one. See her resenting Scarlett for being pissy she wants bigger portions, although she knows she cannot snap back. (Just an example)
 

 I think black kids (Especially girls) are taught from a far earlier age that life isn’t fair and oppression is rampant so we aren’t as “surprised” to come across these things in works of fiction- art imitates life and all that. 
 

Yes our society is selfish. There’s so much work to still much work to be done to make the world better for ALL of us. But if we don’t remember where we came from we won’t know where we are going. 
 

I think we can do both, remember the last, honor the struggles of those that came before AND use those lessons to continue to improve the world. 

8 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Can I jump back to the Ebay/Poshmark topic for a sec?

Is there a site (Ebay, Poshmark, or other) where any of you would recommend selling like-new clothing?  My husband bought some new clothes, cut off the tags, washed them...and only then decided to try them on and discovered they didn't fit.  🤦‍♀️

 

I’ve had great luck on Poshmark. 

[laurakaye]

Jumping topic again, I just wanted to share something that has made me happy.  It's weird how, upon finding something small like this, I want to tell other people because maybe it will take them out of their funk, however briefly, like it did for me.

Scrolling mindlessly through YouTube, a video fell into my queue - "Jamel AKA Jamal -Superstar."  Being basically numb and only half awake, I clicked it.  Turns out Jamel/Jamal is just what I needed right now.  The "Superstar" video is Jamel reacting to seeing Karen Carpenter sing "Superstar" for the first time (Superstar being possibly the most beautifully haunting song ever sung by anyone ever, IMO).  Going down the rabbit hole, it turns out that Jamel has made about 1,000 YouTube videos of him reacting to songs he's either never heard before or didn't know what the singer looked like (while the video of the song plays in the lower corner).  Each video is only about 6-8 minutes long, his reactions are so pure and fun and joyful - and once I realized that he made a video for several songs by ELO?!   Well, I was completely hooked.  

So if you're a song-loving COL (or COL in training) I cannot recommend him enough.  He reviews lots of songs from the 70's which bring me right back to my childhood.  I just watched his reaction video for "Biggest Part of Me" by Ambrosia this morning and I couldn't believe I still remembered every single word of that song - I had the 45.  And if you don't know what a 45 is, best get to running 'cause I'm bringing out the hose. 🙂

 

Edited June 17, 2020 by laurakaye

[Scarlett45]

35 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

And if you don't know what a 45 is, best get to running 'cause I'm bringing out the hose. 🙂

I admit thinking “a 45? 45 of what? Is that a type of weapon?” And I remembered it’s a size of record!!!

 

Im prepared to be sprayed with the hose. 🤣

[crazycatlady58]

47 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Jumping topic again, I just wanted to share something that has made me happy.  It's weird how, upon finding something small like this, I want to tell other people because maybe it will take them out of their funk, however briefly, like it did for me.

Scrolling mindlessly through YouTube, a video fell into my queue - "Jamel AKA Jamal -Superstar."  Being basically numb and only half awake, I clicked it.  Turns out Jamel/Jamal is just what I needed right now.  The "Superstar" video is Jamel reacting to seeing Karen Carpenter sing "Superstar" for the first time (Superstar being possibly the most beautifully haunting song ever sung by anyone ever, IMO).  Going down the rabbit hole, it turns out that Jamel has made about 1,000 YouTube videos of him reacting to songs he's either never heard before or didn't know what the singer looked like (while the video of the song plays in the lower corner).  Each video is only about 6-8 minutes long, his reactions are so pure and fun and joyful - and once I realized that he made a video for several songs by ELO?!   Well, I was completely hooked.  

So if you're a song-loving COL (or COL in training) I cannot recommend him enough.  He reviews lots of songs from the 70's which bring me right back to my childhood.  I just watched his reaction video for "Biggest Part of Me" by Ambrosia this morning and I couldn't believe I still remembered every single word of that song - I had the 45.  And if you don't know what a 45 is, best get to running 'cause I'm bringing out the hose. 🙂

 

I have been watching reaction vidios also and I have seen some of his. He seems like a nice young man who enjoys learning about different types of music. I lately have been watching the young people experience" Unchaned Melody " by the Righteous Brothers. The  young women's reactions are especially enjoyable. If some of the younger people here have not heard this song it is worth checking out. Especially the live version.

[Roslyn]

16 hours ago, sharkerbaby said:

A little peak into the paranoid part of my psyche:   that "numb" feeling mentioned above, I believe that is becoming rather prevalent and should be foreseeable as overexposure to anything can easily lead to desensitization.  My fear here is that it's a little like "attack therapy" in that people can be beaten down to such a point that they are then susceptible and willing to accept far more than they would have been otherwise.   It's almost like we are being conditioned and our way of life as we know it (and perhaps value) will never be even close to what it once was, and I'm talking in ways outside of anything that a novel virus has brought about.

As just a few examples - Who would have thought:

• even just 2 months ago that we would seriously be considering abolishing the police? 
• 4 months ago that we'd be looking at every stranger, neighbor, friend and even family with weary suspicion and distrust?
• 6 months ago we'd be asked to monitor everyone around us and given a special number by the government to call and report even our neighbors, friends, and family members for non compliance with the government's guidelines? (sound familiar  - think back to Stalinist era Soviet Union)
• a year or 2 ago that we'd be stumbling over how to refer to someone when using pronouns?
• 5 years ago it'd be common place to vilify and shout down those who have opinions different from our own?
• 6 years ago some religions could be practiced with impunity while others are looked upon with derision and mockery?
• 6 years ago a nuclear family would be looked upon as a problem that should be dismantled while a non traditional family was lauded and praised?
• 10 years ago much of parenting decisions regarding the health, well being, values, and morals would be taken out of the hands of parents and handed over to the schools and other social services organizations?

I am not typically a conspiracy theorist but so much has morphed and in an extremely accelerated time frame that I wonder if any of us will like how we are living 5 or 10 years from now.  None of those are small subtle gradual changes rather they are significant sweeping changes that penetrate very significant portions of our daily lives.

I compare what is going on today with 9/11.  I can still remember that time as clear as a bell (yet most of 2010 is lost in my memory...go figure).

Back then my kids were in kindergarten and 3rd grade.  I delivered an early morning newspaper for some extra money (in an area where newspaper delivery was actually quite lucrative). I got up around 3:15 am and got home with enough time to read the newspaper while my husband got ready for work, then some quiet before getting the kids off to school. A really normal kind of life centered around the kids and family. Sometimes I would need a few things and I would swing by Wal Mart on the way home to pick them up (shopping without kids when your kids are little is a wee bit of joy).

So...about two weeks after 9/11 I found myself in Wal Mart at 6am. Frozen. I was standing in the cereal aisle and it was like the shock of the last two weeks just broke.  I had been glued to the television, reading every word in the paper and just numb and there in Wal Mart it all came out.  I had tears running down my face and I realized that gas prices were going crazy, shortages were predicted (tho I don't remember that ever really happening, just speculation) and I had just been going through the motions trying to make everything normal for my kids. I walked around like a zombie, realizing that each and every item I was used to just mindlessly buying could just up and disappear and where would we all be?  Everything was tied to gas and oil and cars and trucks and planes and ships.  That fear stayed with me for a very long time.

I compare today to then because it is what I know from my own experience.  I was a kid in the 70's and I remember the "oil crisis" and having to only buy gas based on the digits on your car's license plate. But this was me as an adult so it is more clear in my memory. Back then I wanted to take more control of my food etc and I jumped into learning to grow my own food, can and preserve etc.  I had all the skills from my childhood so I put them into action.  9/11 put me on the path that led me to the life I live today. 

Quarantine this year hasn't changed my life.  I take extra steps to sanitize and wipe my hands after shopping in the market and wearing a mask has been the hardest part of that (severe claustrophobia and some childhood memories that rushed back to me that I wish would have stayed forgotten).  Past that putting items on a market list that I "hope to buy" vs. just randomly picking up. The markets in my town are still touch and go, but I am seeing more and more shelves not empty and I was thrilled to find bread flour again (😀). In the beginning I felt myself fall into that old habit of consuming every newsreel and story about the virus, but this time I remembered 9/11 (and Katrina as well) and I stopped myself.  Since my husband was furloughed we both only caught up a tiny bit in the morning and then stopped and moved onto other subjects.  The news is just so different today.  Everything is trying to spark an instant red hot emotional response and I am choosing to not fall for it. I am amazed at the hate and vitriol.  I can understand the want and need for changes and the utter frustration at the process and politics of the day. For those older than me (50's) is this different?  I don't remember politics etc from when I was a kid.  Adults talk about stuff and you tune it out.  I became an adult and started voting for myself and paying more attention, but I just don't remember it being so in your face, so argumentative and hateful.   I know that social media has seemed to bring ideologies to the surface, but I don't remember things being red hot anger with politics. 

I think it's a quote..but I'm not sure.  Change is the only constant.  Humans adapt, but sadly there are a lot of things with being a human that just seems to stay the same.  I have a feeling that some of the things we deal with as humans (if you pull away the buildings, cars and smart phones) are the same things that the humans in Eqypt 5,000 years ago dealt with every day.

I really wish that everyone could just sit at a table and enjoy a meal together.  Like a pot luck, where every dish has a story connected with the person who brought it, and it doesn't matter that we are all different people, from different places.  Maybe if we dealt with our differences in such a way we would just understand that we are more alike and we need to stop allowing all this anger to distract us from getting to know each other.

[Kohola3]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

And if you don't know what a 45 is, best get to running 'cause I'm bringing out the hose.

All I can think of is spending my allowance on 45's and 78's back in the day.  And then 8 tracks.  And cassette tapes.  And Beta tapes.  And VHS tapes.  And CDs.  And DVDs.  Sheesh.  I probably contributed a ton of stuff to landfills over the years.

[Juliegirlj]

A few interesting tidbits about Gone With The Wind- Hattie McDaniel won best supporting actress award and was the first African American to be nominated, and Martin Luther King Jr was in a band that played at the opening of the movie ! 

[ginger90]

This is from 8 years ago. I just watched it and thought others may enjoy it too.