Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[TurtlePower]

8 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Well looks like I'm gonna get fired. I got written up for a couple of things. One was complaining to a colleague about overwork - after three people on my team left/got fired recently, their duties were assigned to me. The other was the way I handled a call with a customer (she was in hysterics and I was empathizing). One of thousands of calls I've handled over the past year and a half. I handle incoming calls 40 hours/week on top of everything else. A couple of other people on my team handle incoming calls 4 hours a week each (as a backup while I am still also answering calls). 

I'm 62 and I have never gotten written up at any job in the past. Also I have a disability. At my previous company, I lasted through several rounds of layoffs and was respected and got a nice raise at least once a year. The company basically folded at the start of the pandemic and I was one of the last three people laid off and got severance.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Your company sounds like one of those nightmare companies i read about on Reddit. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong (except not be a perfect, emotionless company drone). They have to realise we’re people, not robots. 
 

Hugs. 

[Pickleinthemiddle]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

So anyway, if anyone remembers how Covid-phobic I am, you can imagine that I have been under some intense stress this week.  I'm starting to feel a little better about it as time goes on and we continue to test negative and have no symptoms. 

Same here.  After wearing a mask this entire time, I got covid last August/September.  It wasn't really as bad as I thought it would be, but worried the entire time I was going to get worse.  Other than coughing, I felt really tired for months after, but not enough that it stopped me from daily life.  The older I get the more concerned I am for catching URI's.  Now I am hearing that in other countries, several cases of bird flu that people are now catching from fowl.  So, going to be more vigilant with wearing a mask again.  Because they are making it sound like it's really hard to recover from.

[Teafortwo]

On 2/24/2023 at 2:09 AM, Yeah No said:

In my own corner of hell, my husband and I have been going through a Covid scare, the first real one since the pandemic started.  He drove his boss and wife home from JFK on Sunday returning from a trip to the Netherlands.  The next morning he got a text that the wife had tested positive for Covid.

So sorry to hear this and I hope you and your DH will be fine.  I know several folks who've gotten covid recently after flying, including one person who has flown multiple times since late 2020 and just got it for the first time after a plane trip. 

Thanks to you and @TurtlePowerfor your kind words on my job situation. The prospect of being fired "for cause" and not being able to get COBRA is terrifying, since I have an autoimmune condition requiring a medication that costs thousands of dollars a month without insurance.  The way I was treated yesterday, as well, indicates they are setting me up for a fall so they can claim it as a second offense. I'm in a real bind and researching other jobs. 

 

[TurtlePower]

17 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

So sorry to hear this and I hope you and your DH will be fine.  I know several folks who've gotten covid recently after flying, including one person who has flown multiple times since late 2020 and just got it for the first time after a plane trip. 

Thanks to you and @TurtlePowerfor your kind words on my job situation. The prospect of being fired "for cause" and not being able to get COBRA is terrifying, since I have an autoimmune condition requiring a medication that costs thousands of dollars a month without insurance.  The way I was treated yesterday, as well, indicates they are setting me up for a fall so they can claim it as a second offense. I'm in a real bind and researching other jobs. 

 

I wish you the best and hope you find a better job. Is there any way to put them on blast for their terrible practices? Maybe get  everyone to walk out at once and put them in a well-deserved bind (I assume you’re based in the U.S. because we have probably one of the worst work cultures out there)? 

Speaking of work, I found a 6 month position in Maryland at a more rural location. It will probably do wonders for my sanity, as it feels like I’m going to get run off the road every time I leave the historic site we currently live at. Sorry to my fellow New Yorkers/Long Islanders, but this place exacerbates my anxiety so much! I’m a country girl and cannot take it much longer. 

[Yeah No]

19 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

So sorry to hear this and I hope you and your DH will be fine.  I know several folks who've gotten covid recently after flying, including one person who has flown multiple times since late 2020 and just got it for the first time after a plane trip. 

Thanks to you and @TurtlePowerfor your kind words on my job situation. The prospect of being fired "for cause" and not being able to get COBRA is terrifying, since I have an autoimmune condition requiring a medication that costs thousands of dollars a month without insurance.  The way I was treated yesterday, as well, indicates they are setting me up for a fall so they can claim it as a second offense. I'm in a real bind and researching other jobs. 

Thank you!  As it turns out we are fine and out of the woods now.  My stress level has gone down at least 50% as a result and I'm finally getting enough sleep again!

My best friend was "fired for cause" in NYC.  She didn't contest it and is regretting that now.  If that happens to you despite your efforts to avoid it please don't hesitate to talk to a lawyer because you may have more of a leg to stand on than you think.  In fact, you might do best to talk to one now because they may give you advice on strategies with your employer going forward.  One of my best friends is a lawyer and I pick his brain all the time.  It has saved me from needless worry and put me on to how to handle my situation.  He has "talked me off the ledge" a few times over things like this.  Even if it costs you something for a consultation it's worth it if you talk to the right person.

BTW my friend was about your age when this happened and she ended up having take Social Security at 62 as a result.   Not ideal and I understand if you would want to avoid that.  She was lucky in that her employer let her keep her benefits by considering her a retiree, which included health plan coverage at very low cost to her.  But remember what happened to me - When husband lost his business because of the pandemic we suddenly qualified for Medicaid.  If you are considered low income you would probably qualify.  And let me tell you, at least in my case Medicaid has been fantastic.  I paid no out of pocket for anything.  In fact I am still on it because of the pandemic extensions.  Those are ending in a few months but my state extended my Medicaid past that so that I can go right from that onto Medicare later this year when I turn 65.  Thank goodness!

Anyway I hope at least some of this might help you and make you feel better!  (((hugs)))  🤗

Edited February 26, 2023 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Speaking of work, I found a 6 month position in Maryland at a more rural location. It will probably do wonders for my sanity, as it feels like I’m going to get run off the road every time I leave the historic site we currently live at. Sorry to my fellow New Yorkers/Long Islanders, but this place exacerbates my anxiety so much! I’m a country girl and cannot take it much longer. 

Good for you, Turtle, that may be a good idea for you but keep in mind that everyone everywhere is more on edge and stressed out than pre-pandemic.  I see it around  me.  Before the pandemic we had much less road rage, violent crime and crazy driving.  So it has increased everywhere.

That said, I have to admit that I always had my reservations about you moving to Long Island.  I didn't want to sound pushy or negative but I had a feeling it wouldn't be to your liking.  I probably would feel that way myself now after living in CT for so many years and away from NY culture.  Long Island has its own particular culture that I find different than pretty much anywhere, even different than NYC culture.  I love it in some ways but wouldn't want to live there.   I hope your new location brings you some peace of mind.

[oliviabenson]

On 2/23/2023 at 10:27 PM, Teafortwo said:

Well looks like I'm gonna get fired. I got written up for a couple of things. One was complaining to a colleague about overwork - after three people on my team left/got fired recently, their duties were assigned to me. The other was the way I handled a call with a customer (she was in hysterics and I was empathizing). One of thousands of calls I've handled over the past year and a half. I handle incoming calls 40 hours/week on top of everything else. A couple of other people on my team handle incoming calls 4 hours a week each (as a backup while I am still also answering calls). 

I'm 62 and I have never gotten written up at any job in the past. Also I have a disability. At my previous company, I lasted through several rounds of layoffs and was respected and got a nice raise at least once a year. The company basically folded at the start of the pandemic and I was one of the last three people laid off and got severance.

I’m so sorry to hear that! I hope it works out for the best and you will not get fired!

[TurtlePower]

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Good for you, Turtle, that may be a good idea for you but keep in mind that everyone everywhere is more on edge and stressed out than pre-pandemic.  I see it around  me.  Before the pandemic we had much less road rage, violent crime and crazy driving.  So it has increased everywhere.

That said, I have to admit that I always had my reservations about you moving to Long Island.  I didn't want to sound pushy or negative but I had a feeling it wouldn't be to your liking.  I probably would feel that way myself now after living in CT for so many years and away from NY culture.  Long Island has its own particular culture that I find different than pretty much anywhere, even different than NYC culture.  I love it in some ways but wouldn't want to live there.   I hope your new location brings you some peace of mind.

I was pretty sure I’d dislike LI, but still, wanted to give it a chance. Turns out I *really* dislike it and cannot adapt to the grump culture out here. I’ve never encountered such a grumpy place, and people are saying it’s gotten worse in the last decade. 

This is how I see the island — entitled people yelling when they don’t get their way, as if the world revolves around them — even when they’re wrong (they double down then and yell more). I hate yelling, it’s very unnerving. 

Edited February 26, 2023 by TurtlePower

[xwordfanatik]

39 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

I was pretty sure I’d dislike LI, but still, wanted to give it a chance. Turns out I *really* dislike it and cannot adapt to the grump culture out here. I’ve never encountered such a grumpy place, and people are saying it’s gotten worse in the last decade. 

This is how I see the island — entitled people yelling when they don’t get their way, as if the world revolves around them — even when they’re wrong (they double down then and yell more). I hate yelling, it’s very unnerving. 

I would hate that, too.  Is it a wealthier area than most?  It seems that people with more money than sense just come with a sense of entitlement, and think they're better than others.  

[TurtlePower]

42 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I would hate that, too.  Is it a wealthier area than most?  It seems that people with more money than sense just come with a sense of entitlement, and think they're better than others.  

I’d say yes — the whole island is and it’s getting worse. Average people are getting priced out of their homes because the more-wealthy are over-paying for homes in their areas, driving up property taxes (common complaints amongst long-term residents). Some people cannot afford their property taxes and are forced to sell.

With that comes the entitlement — people park in the fire lane to go shopping!! Able bodied people, in their BMWs, parking in the fire lane right next to the store entrance. Meanwhile, after surgery, I was hobbling across the parking lot on crutches because I’m not an entitled asshole.

There’s no good hiking and nothing to do here besides the historical sites. These people can have their overcrowded, overpriced urban hell (to me) — I’m over it. 

[Teafortwo]

8 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Maybe get  everyone to walk out at once and put them in a well-deserved bind (I assume you’re based in the U.S. because we have probably one of the worst work cultures out there)? 

Speaking of work, I found a 6 month position in Maryland at a more rural location. It will probably do wonders for my sanity, as it feels like I’m going to get run off the road every time I leave the historic site we currently live at. Sorry to my fellow New Yorkers/Long Islanders, but this place exacerbates my anxiety so much! I’m a country girl and cannot take it much longer. 

No need to apologize. Driving on Long Island roads/highways is and always has been a nightmare. The LIE is bad enough but the Northern and Southern State are worse. It's got to be even worse now. I don't blame you at all for wanting to try a more rural location. If I didn't need to see my many doctors so frequently now, I would move somewhere less crowded (and less expensive) too. In fact if I lived in New Jersey (horrible drivers there too) I could possibly work remotely for a former employer. It's a NJ co so they require that remote workers live in the state, most likely for tax reasons.

I wish there were some solidarity among my co-workers. They are all very nice, but like most things, it's everyone for themselves - no one wants to risk it.  And as of Friday (the day after I got written up), the work has been redistributed among the team as a whole, so that undercuts any claim I might make that I was treated unfairly etc. when I had two other people's workloads added to my existing workload when they left (3 months ago for one and about 7 weeks ago for the other). I actually think if I had not made the mistake that led to the writeup, that no changes in assignments would have been made. 

@Yeah No Thanks for sharing about your friend. I may contact someone at the Dept of Labor, and have reached out to friends to see if anyone can refer me to an attorney.

 

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

This is how I see the island — entitled people yelling when they don’t get their way, as if the world revolves around them — even when they’re wrong (they double down then and yell more). I hate yelling, it’s very unnerving. 

10 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

With that comes the entitlement — people park in the fire lane to go shopping!! Able bodied people, in their BMWs, parking in the fire lane right next to the store entrance. Meanwhile, after surgery, I was hobbling across the parking lot on crutches because I’m not an entitled asshole.

First of all, my sympathies.  These two quotes are giving me a picture of the place and from my experience it's reminding me of parts of Westchester County in NY and some of Fairfield County, CT.  I say "parts" because it depends on the area.  Same is true on the Island.  Some parts are wealthier and there is more of a culture of entitlement there.  Add to that a certain "NY attitude" plus how much worse it's gotten everywhere in recent years and I'm sure it can feel toxic.  I've been out there enough in years past to have witnessed some of this first hand so I have a pretty good idea of what you're experiencing.

I didn't love the culture here in the Hartford, CT area when I first moved here slightly over 20 years ago.  I thought the people were generally cold and distant in a certain way only found in New England.  On the other hand it was a lot more laid back and polite than Fairfield County or anywhere in lower NY state.  Over the years I've learned to appreciate that more and more even though it's gotten less polite here like everywhere else.  One thing I like is that the rich people here generally try to act like "regular people".  They dress down and don't "put on airs" to use an expression from my mother's generation.  Nobody's trying to impress anybody or act entitled, in fact it's more the opposite.  It's looked upon as low class to do that, especially in public.  Of course there are always some people like that but there is no general culture of entitlement.  It's more like an old school WASP culture even though it's not all made up of WASPs anymore.  In other words, it's very different from Long Island in general.

Also, although we do have towns up here that have more wealthy people in them, there are also middle class people living alongside them.  The real estate prices are not so out of control that you'd have to be a millionaire or billionaire to afford to live in a modest house here.   I find that refreshing.  My street is made up of all middle class people while a few streets over are huge McMansions.  I recently found out that a retired former head of a huge Fortune 100 company that I used to work for lives only a mile or two down the road from me.  This is not unusual.  My husband has two former clients, both of whom were the top legal executives at a very well known major insurance company in Hartford that both live in our town.  I ran into one of them at the post office a couple of weeks ago.  He was dressed in average jeans and athletic shoes and carries himself in such a way that you'd never know what he once did for a living or how rich he is.  He is very understated, polite, and waited his turn like anyone else.  He doesn't act "better than" anyone.  So refreshing!

Anyway, so as time has gone on I've learned to appreciate where I live more.  It's quiet and comfortable by comparison to areas down state.  People may not be especially friendly outwardly, but I've realized that they're not unfriendly either when you scratch the surface.  They're just more reserved and less willing to call attention to themselves in public.  I'm an introvert so I'm probably more like that myself anyway.  It's a relief not to have people in my face all the time, LOL.  

I don't know much about the culture in Maryland but I've been there a few times (and many times driving through it) and it's always been a place I've felt positively about for some reason.  Lots of outdoorsy fishermen there.  Big trucks and camo., LOL.  And great crab!!  So depending on where you're going it might be a better fit for you.

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

@Yeah No Thanks for sharing about your friend. I may contact someone at the Dept of Labor, and have reached out to friends to see if anyone can refer me to an attorney.

Glad to hear this....hoping you find some help soon.  Hopefully you can find a labor lawyer as they would have the most knowledge about how to deal with a tricky situation like yours.

[TurtlePower]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

First of all, my sympathies.  These two quotes are giving me a picture of the place and from my experience it's reminding me of parts of Westchester County in NY and some of Fairfield County, CT.  I say "parts" because it depends on the area.  Same is true on the Island.  Some parts are wealthier and there is more of a culture of entitlement there.  Add to that a certain "NY attitude" plus how much worse it's gotten everywhere in recent years and I'm sure it can feel toxic.  I've been out there enough in years past to have witnessed some of this first hand so I have a pretty good idea of what you're experiencing.

I didn't love the culture here in the Hartford, CT area when I first moved here slightly over 20 years ago.  I thought the people were generally cold and distant in a certain way only found in New England.  On the other hand it was a lot more laid back and polite than Fairfield County or anywhere in lower NY state.  Over the years I've learned to appreciate that more and more even though it's gotten less polite here like everywhere else.  One thing I like is that the rich people here generally try to act like "regular people".  They dress down and don't "put on airs" to use an expression from my mother's generation.  Nobody's trying to impress anybody or act entitled, in fact it's more the opposite.  It's looked upon as low class to do that, especially in public.  Of course there are always some people like that but there is no general culture of entitlement.  It's more like an old school WASP culture even though it's not all made up of WASPs anymore.  In other words, it's very different from Long Island in general.

Also, although we do have towns up here that have more wealthy people in them, there are also middle class people living alongside them.  The real estate prices are not so out of control that you'd have to be a millionaire or billionaire to afford to live in a modest house here.   I find that refreshing.  My street is made up of all middle class people while a few streets over are huge McMansions.  I recently found out that a retired former head of a huge Fortune 100 company that I used to work for lives only a mile or two down the road from me.  This is not unusual.  My husband has two former clients, both of whom were the top legal executives at a very well known major insurance company in Hartford that both live in our town.  I ran into one of them at the post office a couple of weeks ago.  He was dressed in average jeans and athletic shoes and carries himself in such a way that you'd never know what he once did for a living or how rich he is.  He is very understated, polite, and waited his turn like anyone else.  He doesn't act "better than" anyone.  So refreshing!

Anyway, so as time has gone on I've learned to appreciate where I live more.  It's quiet and comfortable by comparison to areas down state.  People may not be especially friendly outwardly, but I've realized that they're not unfriendly either when you scratch the surface.  They're just more reserved and less willing to call attention to themselves in public.  I'm an introvert so I'm probably more like that myself anyway.  It's a relief not to have people in my face all the time, LOL.  

I don't know much about the culture in Maryland but I've been there a few times (and many times driving through it) and it's always been a place I've felt positively about for some reason.  Lots of outdoorsy fishermen there.  Big trucks and camo., LOL.  And great crab!!  So depending on where you're going it might be a better fit for you.

Actual forest with hiking trails will be wonderful and THE HILLS. I grew up in the hills and find them comforting (also more ways get my heart rate up, the flat land here is boring). I’m certain my fearful mood will improve — I’ll take camo and fishermen over smelling weed all day long (another reason I hate urban areas, so many people are high, with vacant eyes and a zombie-like appearance). Nope, I’m not gonna be here for the zombie apocalypse.

Speaking of, has anyone been watching The Last of Us? 

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

Actual forest with hiking trails will be wonderful and THE HILLS. I grew up in the hills and find them comforting (also more ways get my heart rate up, the flat land here is boring). I’m certain my fearful mood will improve — I’ll take camo and fishermen over smelling weed all day long (another reason I hate urban areas, so many people are high, with vacant eyes and a zombie-like appearance). Nope, I’m not gonna be here for the zombie apocalypse.

Speaking of, has anyone been watching The Last of Us? 

Wow, sorry to hear that.  I admit I haven't been out to the Island in several years so it may have changed a bit since I've been there.  I have a feeling you'd like where I live much better as it sounds nothing like your area!  I'll take old fashioned New England stuffiness and pretty countrysides over that any day.  I live on the edge of a nature preserve and I tell my city friends that the only creatures I have to worry about are the 4 legged kind.  There has been a rise in burglaries in the area but that's true everywhere, even safe areas like mine.  And we too have an increase in crazy drivers on the highways and main roads but again that's true everywhere now too. 

Of course that hasn't stopped me from being more anxious about the more dangerous world we seem to live in now in general.  I think we have to see the increase in our anxiety as being caused by several factors which may or may not have to do with the specific area where we live.  Some of it is just the general "zeitgeist" of the times brought on by broader social and other situations both nationally and internationally.  A lot of us are suffering a cumulative anxiety that started with the pandemic and seems to be continuing thanks to other worries being piled on top of that.  

I haven't watched "The Last of Us" - I took a look at the description and it seems like just the kind of show I deliberately avoid (and perhaps you should too).  I don't need anything adding to my anxiety level especially these days.  Unfortunately it seems to me that a lot of new TV out there is like this.  My favorite show these days is "Only Murders in the Building" on Hulu.

[laurakaye]

I hate anything to do with zombies and the apocalypse and especially when you combine those two things.  I have a friend who very much enjoys those types of shows/books and she recommended a "zombie light" book to me (The Girl With All the Gifts), which I still remember as freaking me right out even though it's been 7 years since I read it.

So naturally, because I wasn't thinking, I watched two episodes of The Last of Us.  The end of episode two was like, "NOPE.  NOPENOPENOPE."  I won't go into it but obviously, there exists a very large population who loves this stuff but I am definitely not one of them!  Lesson learned.

 

Edited February 27, 2023 by laurakaye

[TurtlePower]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Wow, sorry to hear that.  I admit I haven't been out to the Island in several years so it may have changed a bit since I've been there.  I have a feeling you'd like where I live much better as it sounds nothing like your area!  I'll take old fashioned New England stuffiness and pretty countrysides over that any day.  I live on the edge of a nature preserve and I tell my city friends that the only creatures I have to worry about are the 4 legged kind.  There has been a rise in burglaries in the area but that's true everywhere, even safe areas like mine.  And we too have an increase in crazy drivers on the highways and main roads but again that's true everywhere now too. 

Of course that hasn't stopped me from being more anxious about the more dangerous world we seem to live in now in general.  I think we have to see the increase in our anxiety as being caused by several factors which may or may not have to do with the specific area where we live.  Some of it is just the general "zeitgeist" of the times brought on by broader social and other situations both nationally and internationally.  A lot of us are suffering a cumulative anxiety that started with the pandemic and seems to be continuing thanks to other worries being piled on top of that.  

I haven't watched "The Last of Us" - I took a look at the description and it seems like just the kind of show I deliberately avoid (and perhaps you should too).  I don't need anything adding to my anxiety level especially these days.  Unfortunately it seems to me that a lot of new TV out there is like this.  My favorite show these days is "Only Murders in the Building" on Hulu.

My own anxiety is based on bad experiences, having been assaulted, nearly kidnapped (again) and stalked (why am I a weirdo magnet?!? Why?). 

The Last of Us hasn’t really affected any of that. I also loved Z Nation and Zombieland. 

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

Come sit by me @TurtlePower. I love all Zombie-esque stuff. I caught the first 4 episodes when HBO max had a trial, but I'm too cheap to pay 10.00 a month. I will have to wait for another free trial to watch the rest. 

[Teafortwo]

I'd avoided all the zombie shows but thought The Last of Us might be worth a look. Watched a couple episodes and -- nope. Interesting and well done, yes, but not for me. (I believe the game that inspired this show may have in turn been inspired by "The Girl with All the Gifts."

However, Station Eleven, which is largely set in a post-pandemic world, is absolutely superb. It's about a troupe of Shakespearean actors. I can't recommend it highly enough. It's just that good. No zombies though!

ETA I loved the Invasion of the Body Snatchers films though. Lol. and Jordan Peele's films, except for US, which I found too violent to watch most of.

Edited February 28, 2023 by Teafortwo

[Teafortwo]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

My favorite show these days is "Only Murders in the Building" on Hulu.

I love it too!

[Cetacean]

12 hours ago, laurakaye said:

I hate anything to do with zombies and the apocalypse and especially when you combine those two things. 

Right here with you.  There is enough crap to hide from in real life, I don't need to subject myself to things that terrify and disturb me.  It doesn't have to be all Hallmark or LIttle House on the Prairie but there is a lot out there that doesn't keep me awake at night!

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I love it too!

Why am I not surprised?  LOL  Thanks for the recommendation about Station 11.  I'll give it a look.  

[TurtlePower]

10 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I'd avoided all the zombie shows but thought The Last of Us might be worth a look. Watched a couple episodes and -- nope. Interesting and well done, yes, but not for me. (I believe the game that inspired this show may have in turn been inspired by "The Girl with All the Gifts."

However, Station Eleven, which is largely set in a post-pandemic world, is absolutely superb. It's about a troupe of Shakespearean actors. I can't recommend it highly enough. It's just that good. No zombies though!

ETA I loved the Invasion of the Body Snatchers films though. Lol. and Jordan Peele's films, except for US, which I found too violent to watch most of.

Station Eleven was fantastic. Loved it. 

[laurakaye]

10 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Right here with you.  There is enough crap to hide from in real life, I don't need to subject myself to things that terrify and disturb me.  It doesn't have to be all Hallmark or LIttle House on the Prairie but there is a lot out there that doesn't keep me awake at night!

Which is why I mainly watch reality shows like Survivor and Great British Bake Off....watching re-runs of GBBO got me through the worst of lockdown.

But now I need to check out Station Eleven.  I did like that book and tried one episode but it didn't grab me.  I should give it another go.

[Cetacean]

39 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Which is why I mainly watch reality shows like Survivor and Great British Bake Off....watching re-runs of GBBO got me through the worst of lockdown.

I love GBBO as well.  I watch a lot of PBS stuff - Doc Martin, Miss Scarlet and the Duke, the mystery series. 

I try to avoid WWII stuff (well any war stuff) - I was the medical advisor for Honor Flight and we flew WWII vets to Washington so see their monument.  Since it didn't get built until 62 years after the war, most of the vets were too old to go by themselves or couldn't afford it.  We did fundraisers to pay for the flights. Hearing them tell the gruesome tales has made me hypersensitive to war stories!

[Yeah No]

23 hours ago, Cetacean said:

I try to avoid WWII stuff (well any war stuff) - I was the medical advisor for Honor Flight and we flew WWII vets to Washington so see their monument.  Since it didn't get built until 62 years after the war, most of the vets were too old to go by themselves or couldn't afford it.  We did fundraisers to pay for the flights. Hearing them tell the gruesome tales has made me hypersensitive to war stories!

Wow, what a wonderful thing to be involved, in, thanks for sharing that!  About a year to two years before my father passed there were suddenly all these WWII documentaries on Smithsonian, National Geographic and other channels and despite never being much for war shows, I was drawn into them.  Given that my Dad was a WWII vet and knew a lot about the war, it brought us closer together as I talked with him about what I was watching.  I also realized how much I already knew about the war thanks to my Dad having talked about it a lot in front of me all my life.  After several months the documentaries petered out, then my Dad passed.  Since then I avoid those documentaries if I see new ones on the TV schedule.  

[Irate Panda]

On 2/23/2023 at 10:27 PM, Teafortwo said:

Well looks like I'm gonna get fired. I got written up for a couple of things. One was complaining to a colleague about overwork - after three people on my team left/got fired recently, their duties were assigned to me. The other was the way I handled a call with a customer (she was in hysterics and I was empathizing). One of thousands of calls I've handled over the past year and a half. I handle incoming calls 40 hours/week on top of everything else. A couple of other people on my team handle incoming calls 4 hours a week each (as a backup while I am still also answering calls). 

I'm 62 and I have never gotten written up at any job in the past. Also I have a disability. At my previous company, I lasted through several rounds of layoffs and was respected and got a nice raise at least once a year. The company basically folded at the start of the pandemic and I was one of the last three people laid off and got severance.

I hope things are going ok for you…are you able to retire or find something new at least? I’m sorry your bosses are jerks.

[TurtlePower]

Taking the fish talk from the Janelle thread to here.

Regarding tilapia, I still like it. Sea Cuisine makes a garlic pan sear tilapia that’s really good (expensive and hard to find, but good). I like most fish, even fishy fish, as long as they don’t taste like dirt. 

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Taking the fish talk from the Janelle thread to here.

Regarding tilapia, I still like it. Sea Cuisine makes a garlic pan sear tilapia that’s really good (expensive and hard to find, but good). I like most fish, even fishy fish, as long as they don’t taste like dirt. 

I've only had tilapia a handful of times that it didn't taste like dirt to me.  It even tasted that way to me when I marinated it in buttermilk first.  I don't like catfish either for that reason.  I think this might be one of those things that some people taste and others don't.  But even aside from taste I don't like thinking that both of these fishes are "bottom feeders".  Even when farmed there is concern over what Tilapia are fed in China which is where most of our Tilapia comes from (wild caught Tilapia is hard to find).  They have been fed feed that contains animal feces.  That plus the fact that a higher presence of toxic chemicals is also found in them is also a deterrent for me.  I know other fish also have their concerns too (like mercury for example) but this is why I am a little choosy about which fish I eat and where it comes from.  Flounder, for example is generally known to be one of the safest white fish filets you can eat, and it's really not all that expensive if you know where to buy it.

Edited March 6, 2023 by Yeah No

[Sandy W]

My maternal Grandma always referred to shellfish as "the scavengers of the sea" and would not have it in the house. Sorry Grandma, I cultivated a taste for it and love all forms of shellfish.

She would buy meat at the local butcher shop, selecting a round steak, then requesting the butcher to run a slice of bread through the grinder before her meat to ensure she didn't contaminate her ground beef with inferior product.

[TurtlePower]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I've only had tilapia a handful of times that it didn't taste like dirt to me.  It even tasted that way to me when I marinated it in buttermilk first.  I don't like catfish either for that reason.  I think this might be one of those things that some people taste and others don't.  But even aside from taste I don't like thinking that both of these fishes are "bottom feeders".  Even when farmed there is concern over what Tilapia are fed in China which is where most of our Tilapia comes from (wild caught Tilapia is hard to find).  They have been fed feed that contains animal feces.  That plus the fact that a higher presence of toxic chemicals is also found in them is also a deterrent for me.  I know other fish also have their concerns too (like mercury for example) but this is why I am a little choosy about which fish I eat and where it comes from.  Flounder, for example is generally known to be one of the safest white fish filets you can eat, and it's really not all that expensive if you know where to buy it.

I really should just throw a line in the ocean, depending on what’s in season. I’m afraid of accidentally catching a shark, as it’s not my intent to cause them harm. 

[lookeyloo]

Did we talk about Buc-ee's on this thread?  We went to one this weekend.  Very nice.  Good coffee.  Otherwise unremarkable.

[Teafortwo]

My sister-in-law used to feed tilapia to her kids when they were younger, thinking it was a healthy alternative to red meat, chicken wings, pizza and burgers (their staple diet). She called it "chicken-fish" to get them to eat it. She cooked it with a lot of spices. It wasn't bad, but I had no idea about the points everyone has made here. Yuck.

[General Days]

I made Pappardelle Bolognese tonight (basically using this recipe, except I didn't have pancetta or bacon in the house). I also made an antipasto, and garlic bread (a ciabatta loaf, covered in a mixture of two parts butter, one part olive oil, one part garlic paste -- the last of which is just easier). 

Now we're all full and sleepy.

[SunnyBeBe]

23 hours ago, General Days said:

I made Pappardelle Bolognese tonight (basically using this recipe, except I didn't have pancetta or bacon in the house). I also made an antipasto, and garlic bread (a ciabatta loaf, covered in a mixture of two parts butter, one part olive oil, one part garlic paste -- the last of which is just easier). 

Now we're all full and sleepy.

That sounds delicious.  I’m sort of craving some pasta.  A couple of months ago I got on a cauliflower rice kick.  It’s not really rice, but I use it that way.  I also use it as a substitute for pasta and potatoes.  It’s so good, imo and a lot fewer carbs and calories.  I have it with mixed veggies.  It’s getting a little monotonous, though.  

[General Days]

On 3/7/2023 at 9:28 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

That sounds delicious.  I’m sort of craving some pasta.  A couple of months ago I got on a cauliflower rice kick.  It’s not really rice, but I use it that way.  I also use it as a substitute for pasta and potatoes.  It’s so good, imo and a lot fewer carbs and calories.  I have it with mixed veggies.  It’s getting a little monotonous, though.  

Do you follow a gluten free diet out of medical necessity? 

[SunnyBeBe]

14 minutes ago, General Days said:

Do you follow a gluten free diet out of medical necessity? 

Oh no, I’m ok with gluten.  I eat some whole grains like bread, crackers, etc.  I do have type 1 diabetes.  I cover my carbs with insulin, but the fewer carbs the easier that goes.  After really good control for years, I’ve struggled recently.  Really focusing on getting my numbers down.  I lean towards a Mediterranean diet.  

[General Days]

At times, I have eaten whole wheat pasta. I prefer white pasta, but when I make the switch, I get used to the whole grain, which has a heartier taste and two to three times the fiber. It's still carbs, but at least there is some fiber for the body to process and it doesn't turn right to sugar, the moment saliva hits it.

If you're in the US, I know Barilla has a "Protein +" line of pastas. I haven't tried it, but in addition to wheat flour, it contains protein from lentils, chickpeas, and peas. https://www.barilla.com/en-us/product-results/pasta/range/proteinplus?sort=alpha&page=1

The company also has a line of chickpea and lentil pasta. Again, I haven't tried it. https://www.barilla.com/en-us/product-results/pasta/range/legume?sort=alpha&page=1

[Elodia]

We have those barilla chickpea an lentil pasta too. I love pasta so I thought I'd give it a try and the taste was... Interesting. Maybe the us pasta tastes better, a lot of food tastes better there. Anyway, I apologized to my white pasta and told them I will never betray them again 😉

[lookeyloo]

2 hours ago, Elodia said:

We have those barilla chickpea an lentil pasta too. I love pasta so I thought I'd give it a try and the taste was... Interesting. Maybe the us pasta tastes better, a lot of food tastes better there. Anyway, I apologized to my white pasta and told them I will never betray them again 😉

We have tried a lot of "alternate" pastas, including spaghetti squash.   I'd rather not eat any of them than the real thing, which we limit by choice.  But, I do love me a noodle!!!

[Teafortwo]

Lookyloo said:

Well, there, Jewish here too, and I understand where you were coming from as a child. Same here.  But, we outgrew it and Leon hasn't.  It must give them some kind of satisfaction to do that, as an adult.  

PS I am still mildly irked when people who absolutely do know I am Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas Still ask me if I am ready for and what am I doing for Christmas!  But, I just remind them kindly.

--------------------

This happens to me too. My friend's mother in law knows I'm Jewish, comments on it as though I may be the only Jewish person she knows, what a novel thing to be -- then asks me what I am doing for Easter. 

[crazycatlady58]

1 hour ago, Teafortwo said:

Lookyloo said:

Well, there, Jewish here too, and I understand where you were coming from as a child. Same here.  But, we outgrew it and Leon hasn't.  It must give them some kind of satisfaction to do that, as an adult.  

PS I am still mildly irked when people who absolutely do know I am Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas Still ask me if I am ready for and what am I doing for Christmas!  But, I just remind them kindly.

--------------------

This happens to me too. My friend's mother in law knows I'm Jewish, comments on it as though I may be the only Jewish person she knows, what a novel thing to be -- then asks me what I am doing for Easter. 

Tell you have no hard and fast plan for Easter but the day after you are going to buy a lot of discounted candy.

[Lurk]

I was getting caught up on some things here..... Over on Janelle's thread there was a bit of discussion about diabetic medications Ozempic and Wegovy being used for weight loss. I saw something about some great weight loss deal and went to the website listed. I don't even remember now where I had heard about it.

 

Basically, it was a website with telehealth doctor visits for different things. One of the big things was for weight loss using Ozempic or Wegovy. What a racket and I know that makes things difficult for diabetics that need the medication. I am a bit skeptical about telehealth appointments. I don't know what sort of real diagnosis they can make without the Dr being able to do some physical exam (temp, blood pressure, urine/blood tests, etc.).

Another side note: there were a couple of pictures with testimonials on how great it works. One of them was Dr. Pepper from Married at First Sight. I know there was discussion on that forum about her having lost weight. Now that secret is out on how she did it.

[Cetacean]

7 hours ago, Lurk said:

What a racket and I know that makes things difficult for diabetics that need the medication.

I listened to an NPR program about this the other day.  Using these for weight loss for those on the brink of developing type 2 diabetes is being encouraged by endocrinologists to avoid actually crossing the line.  The current take on obesity is that it is a disease and if you can use meds to keep it in check, that will result in fewer health care dollars down the line.  The bad thing is that it is causing a shortage for those already diagnosed with diabetes.  That and the cost; the pharma companies have a gold mine and know it so are hiking prices to make the big bucks.

[Lurk]

3 hours ago, Cetacean said:

I listened to an NPR program about this the other day.  Using these for weight loss for those on the brink of developing type 2 diabetes is being encouraged by endocrinologists to avoid actually crossing the line.  The current take on obesity is that it is a disease and if you can use meds to keep it in check, that will result in fewer health care dollars down the line.  The bad thing is that it is causing a shortage for those already diagnosed with diabetes.  That and the cost; the pharma companies have a gold mine and know it so are hiking prices to make the big bucks.

For sure! It's a great tool for those who need it or those who are on the verge of becoming diabetic. I just don't think that anybody should be able to go to a website "visit" with a doctor and get a prescription without a proper work up.

[Cetacean]

15 minutes ago, Lurk said:

I just don't think that anybody should be able to go to a website "visit" with a doctor and get a prescription without a proper work up.

Totally agree. It's not a magic pill for someone who wants to lose 20 pounds to fit into a prom dress.

[Yeah No]

On 3/19/2023 at 12:02 PM, Cetacean said:

Totally agree. It's not a magic pill for someone who wants to lose 20 pounds to fit into a prom dress.

As I've understood it, the shortages are specifically for the drugs named Ozempic and Wegovy, which became popular with dieters as a result of social media influencers touting them as weight loss aids on Tik Tok.  Thankfully there are many other drugs for diabetics out there so if those are hard to find there are other alternatives a lot more readily available and much cheaper, like Metformin, the old standby for Type 2 diabetics.

I just read that both Ozempic and Wegovy were created to help Type 2 diabetics manage their weight and raise insulin sensitivity.  Now diet doctors are realizing that it's not only diabetics that suffer from insulin resistance.  Many overweight people do who are not diabetic but may be pre-diabetic.  In fact, their insulin resistance may be responsible for their weight gain in the first place.  So Metformin and other diabetes drugs are now being routinely prescribed in doctor supervised weight loss programs like the one I'm currently enrolled in through a major medical group and local hospital in my area. 

I am almost 100% sure that my weight problem resulted from a reduction of insulin sensitivity thanks to my hormonal changes after menopause.  This is the same pattern that affected my mother, my grandmother and my great grandmother, all of whom died before their time because of health issues related to their post menopausal obesity.  A comprehensive medically focused DNA test I took inasmuch told me I have the cluster of genes associated with obesity, otherwise known as "the fat gene".  Only in my case it didn't become an issue until post menopause.

The idea is that if you can raise insulin sensitivity you will lose weight as the body handles glucose better, helping you to use it so it doesn't get stored as fat so easily and put you at greater risk of heart disease and other medical issues.  In my case my blood sugar is elevated.  It's in the "pre-diabetic" range, slightly into it, not by much but enough for me to be concerned.  I had my blood tests run after I had lost 15 lbs. (I've lost 22 altogether since starting the program last September) and my blood sugar was still the same as before the weight loss.  I lost that 22 lbs. without the help of any medication, but in the past two months my weight loss has slowed down dramatically and I have only lost 2 pounds in the past 2 months despite following the diet religiously and keeping up with my exercising.   So I have good reasons to want to find something that will help me lose more weight.  It sucks to be putting in this much effort and not see that much reward, especially when I still have so much weight to lose and blood sugar to lower.

In the beginning of the diet I took one half of a 500 mg. pill of Metformin and had a strong reaction to it so I didn't take it again.  No stomach upset, just bad fatigue.  Then I read online that many people said their symptoms got better with time especially if they switched to the time release version.  I am going to see my diet doctor in a couple of weeks and will ask her if she'll prescribe that for me.  I am determined to do anything I can to lose the weight short of hurting myself.  I don't think I'd consider Ozempic because it has a lot more potentially serious side effects than Metformin does.  I can deal with the side effects of Metformin but I'm not so sure I want to put up with the greater risks involved with Ozempic.  Of course Ozempic is said to work better than Metformin for weight loss but I personally know of two people that say Metformin helped them to lose significantly more weight than they think they could have lost on their own.  My husband is one of them.  He found out he's a type 2 diabetic last Summer and went on Metformin.  I never saw him lose weight so fast!  I've never known him to be thinner, even when we first met!

So anyway, I can't speak for anyone else but I am happy that there is some help for people with my issues, and there are a LOT of them out there these days, especially women.  I don't doubt that Dr. Pepper from "Married at First Sight" (A show I have watched a lot of) had similar issues.  At her age and weight, also being quite short, it has to be a nightmare to lose weight.  A little known fact is that short women have a rougher time losing weight than taller women.  Being short at 5' 1.5" I think that also affects me.  I think a lot of older women post menopause start to suffer from insulin resistance that goes undiagnosed.  Their blood sugar starts to climb and traditionally doctors blamed it on their weight, and told them to lose weight.  But aye, there's the rub, because even if they lose some weight at first, after a while the insulin resistance makes it almost impossible to lose weight without starving themselves.   I get upset thinking about this issue because my mother was a victim of it.  Unfortunately she died almost 22 years ago now before these drugs were prescribed for weight loss.  I know she was pre-diabetic and I am sure very insulin resistant.  She would tell me her body fought her tooth and nail and only starvation helped her to lose.  Unfortunately she lost the battle a week before her 77th birthday, basically because she couldn't starve herself.  

Because of my family history I knew for a long time that I would likely suffer from the same problem before it happened.  After menopause there was NOTHING I could do to prevent the weight gain.  I thought I was going to be the one to beat it, that if I dieted and exercised enough I wouldn't suffer the same fate as the rest of the women on my mother's side.  I became so anal about dieting that I'd count every calorie, every gram of fat, every carb.  It didn't matter, I gained weight anyway.  I became afraid that I would die an early death and there would be nothing I could do about it.  

Anyway I don't think that being pre-diabetic makes me any less deserving of taking diabetes medication than diabetics.  So far there aren't any better alternatives in terms of diet drugs than the ones marketed for diabetes.  I agree that if someone is vain enough to just want to lose a few pounds and doesn't really have a significant weight and health issue to address, they are not as in need of these medications and should look elsewhere.  I think there is a lot of gray area in between, though.

Anyway, sorry to go on so long.

[lookeyloo]

55 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

As I've understood it, the shortages are specifically for the drugs named Ozempic and Wegovy, which became popular with dieters as a result of social media influencers touting them as weight loss aids on Tik Tok.  Thankfully there are many other drugs for diabetics out there so if those are hard to find there are other alternatives a lot more readily available and much cheaper, like Metformin, the old standby for Type 2 diabetics.

I just read that both Ozempic and Wegovy were created to help Type 2 diabetics manage their weight and raise insulin sensitivity.  Now diet doctors are realizing that it's not only diabetics that suffer from insulin resistance.  Many overweight people do who are not diabetic but may be pre-diabetic.  In fact, their insulin resistance may be responsible for their weight gain in the first place.  So Metformin and other diabetes drugs are now being routinely prescribed in doctor supervised weight loss programs like the one I'm currently enrolled in through a major medical group and local hospital in my area. 

I am almost 100% sure that my weight problem resulted from a reduction of insulin sensitivity thanks to my hormonal changes after menopause.  This is the same pattern that affected my mother, my grandmother and my great grandmother, all of whom died before their time because of health issues related to their post menopausal obesity.  A comprehensive medically focused DNA test I took inasmuch told me I have the cluster of genes associated with obesity, otherwise known as "the fat gene".  Only in my case it didn't become an issue until post menopause.

The idea is that if you can raise insulin sensitivity you will lose weight as the body handles glucose better, helping you to use it so it doesn't get stored as fat so easily and put you at greater risk of heart disease and other medical issues.  In my case my blood sugar is elevated.  It's in the "pre-diabetic" range, slightly into it, not by much but enough for me to be concerned.  I had my blood tests run after I had lost 15 lbs. (I've lost 22 altogether since starting the program last September) and my blood sugar was still the same as before the weight loss.  I lost that 22 lbs. without the help of any medication, but in the past two months my weight loss has slowed down dramatically and I have only lost 2 pounds in the past 2 months despite following the diet religiously and keeping up with my exercising.   So I have good reasons to want to find something that will help me lose more weight.  It sucks to be putting in this much effort and not see that much reward, especially when I still have so much weight to lose and blood sugar to lower.

In the beginning of the diet I took one half of a 500 mg. pill of Metformin and had a strong reaction to it so I didn't take it again.  No stomach upset, just bad fatigue.  Then I read online that many people said their symptoms got better with time especially if they switched to the time release version.  I am going to see my diet doctor in a couple of weeks and will ask her if she'll prescribe that for me.  I am determined to do anything I can to lose the weight short of hurting myself.  I don't think I'd consider Ozempic because it has a lot more potentially serious side effects than Metformin does.  I can deal with the side effects of Metformin but I'm not so sure I want to put up with the greater risks involved with Ozempic.  Of course Ozempic is said to work better than Metformin for weight loss but I personally know of two people that say Metformin helped them to lose significantly more weight than they think they could have lost on their own.  My husband is one of them.  He found out he's a type 2 diabetic last Summer and went on Metformin.  I never saw him lose weight so fast!  I've never known him to be thinner, even when we first met!

So anyway, I can't speak for anyone else but I am happy that there is some help for people with my issues, and there are a LOT of them out there these days, especially women.  I don't doubt that Dr. Pepper from "Married at First Sight" (A show I have watched a lot of) had similar issues.  At her age and weight, also being quite short, it has to be a nightmare to lose weight.  A little known fact is that short women have a rougher time losing weight than taller women.  Being short at 5' 1.5" I think that also affects me.  I think a lot of older women post menopause start to suffer from insulin resistance that goes undiagnosed.  Their blood sugar starts to climb and traditionally doctors blamed it on their weight, and told them to lose weight.  But aye, there's the rub, because even if they lose some weight at first, after a while the insulin resistance makes it almost impossible to lose weight without starving themselves.   I get upset thinking about this issue because my mother was a victim of it.  Unfortunately she died almost 22 years ago now before these drugs were prescribed for weight loss.  I know she was pre-diabetic and I am sure very insulin resistant.  She would tell me her body fought her tooth and nail and only starvation helped her to lose.  Unfortunately she lost the battle a week before her 77th birthday, basically because she couldn't starve herself.  

Because of my family history I knew for a long time that I would likely suffer from the same problem before it happened.  After menopause there was NOTHING I could do to prevent the weight gain.  I thought I was going to be the one to beat it, that if I dieted and exercised enough I wouldn't suffer the same fate as the rest of the women on my mother's side.  I became so anal about dieting that I'd count every calorie, every gram of fat, every carb.  It didn't matter, I gained weight anyway.  I became afraid that I would die an early death and there would be nothing I could do about it.  

Anyway I don't think that being pre-diabetic makes me any less deserving of taking diabetes medication than diabetics.  So far there aren't any better alternatives in terms of diet drugs than the ones marketed for diabetes.  I agree that if someone is vain enough to just want to lose a few pounds and doesn't really have a significant weight and health issue to address, they are not as in need of these medications and should look elsewhere.  I think there is a lot of gray area in between, though.

Anyway, sorry to go on so long.

Great explanation. Thanks.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Anyway I don't think that being pre-diabetic makes me any less deserving of taking diabetes medication than diabetics.

When my NP put me on Metformin 500 twice a day.  I asked her was it really necessary.  She said that it helps also by protecting your organs if you are diabetic or pre diabetic.  

On 3/19/2023 at 11:02 AM, Cetacean said:

Totally agree. It's not a magic pill for someone who wants to lose 20 pounds to fit into a prom dress.

I've never had that issue.  My doctor might refill one I already take.  But nothing new.  

[ginger90]

@Canadian Girl you asked about Lorin Woolley elsewhere, here you go:

https://alchetron.com/Lorin-C-Woolley