Pet Peeves: The Holy Trinity and Beyond

[Kohola3]

"Color scheme" should never enter into the equation for the search unless we're talking countertops and back splashes and even those can be changed albeit at a cost.  Paint is easy and cheap and totally transformative.

[Empress1]

On 7/16/2018 at 12:16 PM, Phoebe70 said:

This is me.  I take a hot bath several times a week in my large, jetted tub to unwind.  I could bathe in a smaller, non-jetted tub that is in my daughter's bathroom.  Having no tubs at all in a house would definitely be a deal-breaker for me.

I love baths for relaxation. I'm also into fitness and after a lot of activity, soaking feels good. I wouldn't buy a place without a tub.

[CruiseDiva]

My home was built in 1987 and we've lived in it since Jan 1988. The master bathroom has a humongous tub, which in the 80's was called a "garden" tub. I'm having it removed and putting a big shower with a bench seat in its place. The old walk-in shower will be converted to a closet for linens, bathrobes, etc. There's still a tub in the other bathroom.

Some of my neighbors have already gotten rid of the garden tubs that we seldom used and are now "dated." LOL!

[Kohola3]

My new house has no tub in either bathroom.  To each is own but I don't enjoy sitting in "butt water" as a friend used to call it.  Both bathrooms have step in showers - good for us old folks with bad knees!  Not single complaint from any visitors!

On 7/16/2018 at 11:53 AM, Phoebe70 said:

He was upset because one house had 2.5 bathrooms and 3 bedrooms.  Bizarre.

Maybe they could remove a closet and make it 2.5 bedrooms....

[biakbiak]

2 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

in "butt water" as a friend used to call it

When people use that phrasing to describe bathing, I always wonder about their hygiene because my but is perfectly clean and doesn’t do anything to the water.

[chessiegal]

I grew up in a house with no shower - just a claw foot tub. I didn't have a shower until I went to college. I survived.

[Kohola3]

As I said, to each his own.  But testing the bath water will show e. coli and staph at a minimum.  But, obviously it's survivable.  I prefer to wash germs down the drain but that's just me.

[CherryAmes]

1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

When people use that phrasing to describe bathing, I always wonder about their hygiene because my but is perfectly clean and doesn’t do anything to the water.

I always wonder if they are also too fastidious to use a pool let alone go to the beach.  Must be hard to go through life afraid to immerse yourself in water - especially water someone else has been in.

[biakbiak]

32 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

As I said, to each his own.  But testing the bath water will show e. coli and staph at a minimum.  But, obviously it's survivable.  I prefer to wash germs down the drain but that's just me.

As every study shows literally everything in the world is filled with bacteria including our bodies!

[doodlebug]

3 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

As I said, to each his own.  But testing the bath water will show e. coli and staph at a minimum.  But, obviously it's survivable.  I prefer to wash germs down the drain but that's just me.

However, I've never seen any research showing that healthy people who take baths are more prone to infections than healthy people who shower.  We're all swimming in pathogens all day, every day.  

[ehall1052]

I just read one of those stupid articles you click on in Facebook. It said the following trends are on their way out: white kitchens, wallpaper (I thought that was already out), white subway tile and white marble counters. The only thing missing, in my opinion, is gray walls. Someone better tell House Hunters!

[chessiegal]

My local paper in the Home section said 50 shades of gray are very in. Today they said black toilets and sinks are the new "in" thing - yuck.

[Kohola3]

9 minutes ago, chessiegal said:

Today they said black toilets and sinks are the new "in" thing - yuck.

Geez, every single soap spot shows on black.  They are impossible to keep looking good.

[chessiegal]

2 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Geez, every single soap spot shows on black.  They are impossible to keep looking good.

No kidding - my step-daughter replaced a black kitchen sink in the house they bought for exactly that reason. It always looked awful.

[auntjess]

On 7/21/2018 at 3:19 PM, ehall1052 said:

I just read one of those stupid articles you click on in Facebook. It said the following trends are on their way out: white kitchens, wallpaper (I thought that was already out), white subway tile and white marble counters. The only thing missing, in my opinion, is gray walls. Someone better tell House Hunters!

What about Moroccan rugs? 

[twinks]

22 hours ago, auntjess said:

What about Moroccan rugs? 

This pattern is on everything! Makes me wonder if there are any designers out there that are creative. Think outside the box!

[Sun-Bun]

Lord YES, enough with these Moroccan rugs already, designers! I admittedly bought a big furry one just like this one for my living room back in 2011 and was so proud of it...until I noticed another neighbor bought one...then others...then I’d see them staged at various open houses...and design showcases...and all over Pinterest and the design blogs. Finally replaced it 3 years ago with a more mod, retro funky random layered rug that gets TONS more compliments, and have since kicked myself for getting way too caught up in a faddish design trends.

Now subway tiles...those need to go next. 

At least were seeing more quartz/marble kitchen countertops and less stainless steel/granite kitchen demands, but still...like everything on this show, these nimrods will drive any of those trends down with their annoyingly outdated demands(“Where’s my white kitchen?”).

[msmarjoribanks]

I follow another (local) house site, and there it's been the thing for a while (by those who are all into the trends) that granite is so so out, and to be up-to-date you absolutely NEED quartz, or the kitchen must be gutted.  I'm exaggerating, but I don't see the new focus on quartz/marble as less trendy, but just that HHers sometimes lags the trends (given filming time that makes sense, plus the HHers probably are more reacting to what their friends think are trendy than at the forefront).

Personally, I dislike the idea that if something isn't whatever is perceived as trendy it must be garbage, and the new "ick, granite must have quartz, all the nice places have quartz"is just as trend based for many people.  (I am sure some simply like what they like, same with the granite, same with white paint, same with all the rest of it, although I do love it when someone bucks the trends and wants something non-trendy or just different or just doesn't obsess.)

One of the reasons the trend thing with kitchen counters bugs me is that it seems much more about display of wealth than style.  Granite used to be the expensive choice, but now it's really common some places (where I live, for example), so not special and people needed to find something more luxurious to stand out.  Quartz doesn't strike me as offering any advantages (I like granite fine, although I never thought it was necessary), but it is currently more expensive, as is marble.  (If I were to focus on really high end, high quality something it would be cabinets, but there for some reason being white seems more important to many HHers than the actual material.)

Another thing that seems important to have to be "up to date" and "luxurious" are really high end appliances (on my other site and what I see in new construction or redone stuff going for the more luxury market, but the same market where that never used to be necessary -- I expect it to be more common on HHers soon).  Personally I can see that being something you care about for a subset of people really into cooking (I'm really into cooking but my regular appliances are fine, although I wouldn't turn down the others if they offered advantages like space), but most of the time I think they again are mostly to signal wealth.  Before this it was stainless, and before that it was the white and then black -- although I never remember the order of the prior two).  I do think color itself can be a fashion, but I think part of thing with the appliances is that people think "stainless, must be new and I know it's what everyone wants" and it's that lemmingness of it that drives me bonkers.

[Kohola3]

38 minutes ago, msmarjoribanks said:

....it's that lemmingness of it that drives me bonkers.

That's it in a nutshell.  A lot of time people just demand what is currently being touted as "in" whether or not is's functional for them.  For example, white kitchens are all the rage but, believe me, they require a lot of maintenance if you are a serious cook.  That means serious attention to wiping things up immediately. White walls and cabinets show every single splatter.

People were told they had to have granite.  But they really didn't know why, just that "everybody has it".  If there were a totally practical reason, that would be fine.  But there are other surfaces that offer the same advantages.

I am not a sheep so I got what I wanted and screw the design magazines!

[Mittengirl]

4 hours ago, msmarjoribanks said:

most of the time I think they again are mostly to signal wealth.

I think most of what we see demanded on HH is motivated by an attempt to impress family and friends.   Why else do two people need 200 sq. foot bathrooms and 500 sq. foot bedrooms?   How many times do we see people complain that a bedroom with plenty of room for bed, dressers and nightstands just doesn’t  look like a master bedroom.   In other words, it won’t make others envious.   Same with people who claim not to cook but simply must have high end appliances.

[irisheyes]

I never understand why people are so worried about how a master bedroom “looks”.  (massive and palatial) How many people actually see a master bedroom?  My parents saw ours the first time they visited after we bought our house, but, beyond that, my master is only seen by my family. 

[CherryAmes]

Along with mostly people never seeing your master bedroom how much does any adult actually use that room?  Sleeping and changing and maybe once in a blue moon relaxing in there with a book or whatever (for me that would be once in a very, very blue moon).  I get that the room needs to be big enough to accommodate a queen or king size bed and dressers etc but beyond that how big do you really need?  Yet I see house after house where half of the upstairs in the master suite and the children's rooms are tiny jail cells by comparison.  Yet it's children who spend way more time in their room than their parents do.  Gotta be a happy medium out there people!  I guess for all those parents who can't even let the kids watch TV unsupervised though having kids use their bedrooms for anything but sleeping is not going to happen!

Edited July 27, 2018 by CherryAmes

[chessiegal]

We have a large master, and I put a Laz-y-Boy recliner and large screen TV in there. I can watch TV and see out the sliders to our water view. My husband exercises in there daily and watches TV. Comes in handy when we want to watch different things - we both get to watch on the big screen. 

[ForReal]

My husband watches TV till late but I go to bed early, so no TV in the master bedroom. I tend to be cluttered and my husband can't stand clutter, so no sitting room in the master bedroom. Guess we have no need for a massive and palatial master bedroom!

[Bastet]

5 hours ago, CherryAmes said:

Along with mostly people never seeing your master bedroom how much does any adult actually use that room?

I always wonder about that, too.  I only use mine to go to bed, but I live alone, so I have free run of the house -- I don't ever need to escape to my bedroom to do something I'd normally do in another room (e.g. read, work, exercise, eat) because that room has people in it and I want to do whatever I'm doing alone.  So wanting space for a mini living room, or library, or kitchenette, or whatever in a bedroom is odd to me - it seems like square footage that would be much more useful in another room of the house, like the living room or kitchen (or, as you said, kid's room, since they actually do a bunch of stuff other than sleep in their bedrooms) - but maybe if I had a different lifestyle, it would matter.

[chessiegal]

We didn't build our house - it just came with a large master and it had unused space that I turned into extra living space. It wasn't a deal breaker, just the way things turned out.

[Kohola3]

5 hours ago, CherryAmes said:

Along with mostly people never seeing your master bedroom how much does any adult actually use that room?

Massive masters and bathrooms always seem like a huge waste of space to me, too.  I find the bathroom to be the least favorite room in my house for just hanging out. Get in, do the business, and get out.  It's not like I hold dances in there or anything. 

Same with a master bedroom in my life,  I sleep and dress there but that's it. I can read, watch TV, etc. elsewhere in the house.

[msmarjoribanks]

Some of the people seem to think it's a haven away from the kids.

My parents had a TV and chair in their bedroom when I was in my teens (and after my sis and I moved out), and I recall my mom would sometimes watch TV in there and do bills and such if she wanted to be alone or was watching something my dad would complain about/mock.  Or occasionally my dad would go up there if he was watching something no one else wanted to watch.

Anyway, my parents did this without some kind of giant suite, but the more time you think you will spend in there (and I think often the people with little kids are dreaming about that) the bigger you'd want it, I suppose.

There does seem to be a demand for ever bigger bathrooms and masters which influences how houses get built, so it's an interesting trend.

[FormerMod-a1]

My mom had a good theory on the large master bedrooms that I posted here. 

It's short so I'll also copy below.

On 10/4/2017 at 12:12 PM, aquarian1 said:

My mom had a theory about the giant master bedrooms/"retreats" with all sorts of areas for different things.  She thinks it's due to the open concept craze.  The parents/adults/whosevergetsthe'retreat' need a place to escape from seeing and hearing everything all the time.  It may even be subconscious.  I love that theory.  I'm not saying it's true for everyone that has or likes open concept, but I bet it's true for some.

[ForReal]

That is an interesting theory. The house across the street from us is being remodeled or actually completely overhauled. There was a weird wall with a fireplace in it in the middle of the  house that has now been removed. I guess they are going for the open concept, but now the living room, kitchen, front room and dining area will be one big open square. I think it will be like living in a box. Or an aquarium.

[msmarjoribanks]

I think your mom's theory is insightful, aquarian1!

[topanga]

9 hours ago, aquarian1 said:

My mom had a good theory on the large master bedrooms that I posted here. 

It's short so I'll also copy below.

And once again, I like your theory. Right now I’m watching a Property Brothers episode where buyers purchase a house with a large living room, dining room, kitchen, and family room, but the rooms are separated by walls. I have no problem with that, but the owners want open concept. Open, open concept. The final product is a single, huge living/dining/family room/kitchen. It looks nice, I guess, but no one can sit in the living room and read or play the piano unless they also want to hear the football game on the big screen TV or listen to the kids do their homework and play in the kitchen while dinner is being prepared. Personally, that would drive me up a wall.

My nitpicky pet-peeve: when HHs stand in a smallish guest room/office or walk into an entry foyer without prom stairs or a balcony and say that they feel claustrophobic. Really? Are you experiencing anxiety to the point where your heart is racing and you feel like you can’t breathe? I know what they mean: the room is small. But you are not in a cramped elevator or an MRI machine, people, so take it down a notch, okay? 

It’s similar to when one spouse calls the other OCD because they like a tidy house. If that’s what it means to be OCD, then sign me up. Or my husband. But somehow I think the reality of obsessive-compulsive disorder is a little more complex than that. 

Edited July 28, 2018 by topanga

[Bastet]

10 hours ago, aquarian1 said:

My mom had a theory about the giant master bedrooms/"retreats" with all sorts of areas for different things.  She thinks it's due to the open concept craze.  The parents/adults/whosevergetsthe'retreat' need a place to escape from seeing and hearing everything all the time.  It may even be subconscious.

I think there's really something to that.  I think one of the reasons behind the increased desire for oversized master suites is an overall "bigger is better"/showing off/keeping up with the Joneses mentality, but I agree the fact it is contemporaneous with the open concept craze isn't just a coincidence, and that probably is indeed another reason.  If the only rooms with doors are the bedrooms and bathrooms, then, yeah, I can see the desire (whether explicit or subconscious) to make the master bedroom someplace to "get away" to.

Edited July 28, 2018 by Bastet

[CherryAmes]

22 minutes ago, topanga said:

The final product is a single, huge living/dining/family room/kitchen. It looks nice, I guess, but no one can sit in the living room and read or play the piano unless they also want to hear the football game on the big screen TV or listen to the kids do their homework and play in the kitchen while dinner is being prepared. Personally, that would drive me up a wall.

I was watching one of those "we're rich so we're buying a house on an island" shows today where the young, childless couple had to buy a monster home and in every single house they looked at they complained that there were either walls (the horror) or cupboards or whatever between the downstairs rooms.  Essentially they want a 2000 sq foot room and the idea that anyone else might want 6 degrees of separation was a totally bizarre notion to them I guess.

[ForReal]

16 hours ago, topanga said:

The final product is a single, huge living/dining/family room/kitchen. It looks nice, I guess, but no one can sit in the living room and read or play the piano unless they also want to hear the football game on the big screen TV or listen to the kids do their homework and play in the kitchen while dinner is being prepared. Personally, that would drive me up a wall.

Confession -- I don't always have the dishes done and a clean, empty sink, so I really do not want all the rooms of my house to open into my kitchen!

[BlossomCulp]

A friend of mine just posted some before and after pictures of her kitchen renovation.  To be honest I liked the original kitchen so much more than the new one.  It's like she took on board every design trend that the shows have been pushing and did them all.  It doesn't look awful or anything but she took a classic kitchen and turned it into, IMO anyway, a kitchen that is going to look very dated in just a few years. 

[Mrs. DuRona]

On 7/29/2018 at 10:56 AM, ForReal said:

Confession -- I don't always have the dishes done and a clean, empty sink, so I really do not want all the rooms of my house to open into my kitchen!

WORD.  We're in the process of buying a house with a small, galley kitchen (not at all what I wanted, but we love the house overall) and I love that there's a wall between it and the living room.  We're using a room off the kitchen as a prep/pantry area, and I am thrilled it has a pocket door on one side, and a regular door on the other (it's the 3rd "bedroom").  I love that I can hide my mess from company!

Edited July 31, 2018 by Mrs. DuRona

[izabella]

I am beyond sick of white subway tile.  I used to think Candace Olson was extremely repetitive with her white everything and glass tile backsplashes.  At least she used glass backsplashes with different shapes!

[Mrs. DuRona]

On 8/4/2018 at 4:49 PM, izabella said:

I am beyond sick of white subway tile.  I used to think Candace Olson was extremely repetitive with her white everything and glass tile backsplashes.  At least she used glass backsplashes with different shapes!

I agree.  It's just boring.  Unfortunately, the house we're buying has a white subway tile backsplash in the kitchen.  First thought: I wonder how much it would cost to get rid of that?

[Nysha]

Why do guys need a man cave? Are they pigs and they need a room they don't have to keep clean or do they hate their wives & kids and need a room to escape them? Or is this another side effect of having an open concept house; they have no place that is quiet so they need their own room. Or maybe a justification for buying a McMansion that is 5x larger than they really need. At any rate, I think it's pretty stupid.

My late husband was a hunter and reloaded his own bullets. He set up his stuff in our walk-in closet so he could keep it locked, but when he was in there the door was open and he was accessible to the rest of the family.

[suebee12]

While I was watching the two young doctors in Nashville episode, I realized I have yet another pet peeve! Why do you need such a special, perfect kitchen to cook a good meal? If you have a stove, fridge, sink and ingredients, one should be able to cook a good meal if you are any kind of cook at all! When the wife saw the second kitchen(all three kitchens were really nice) she exclaimed, "I can cook a great meal in here"...so she couldn't do it in any other kitchen? Hmmmm, makes one wonder, doesn't it?

[biakbiak]

6 minutes ago, suebee12 said:

she couldn't do it in any other kitchen? Hmmmm, makes one wonder, doesn't it?

I am a great cook and love doing it even though my kitchen is less than ideal. That said when I have opportunity to cook in better kitchens with more space, a larger stove and gasp a dishwasher it makes the experience easier and therefore overall more enjoyable.

[suebee12]

4 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I am a great cook and love doing it even though my kitchen is less than ideal. That said when I have opportunity to cook in better kitchens with more space, a larger stove and gasp a dishwasher it makes the experience easier and therefore overall more enjoyable.

Ah, yes, more enjoyable but is the meal really any better tasting? That is what I took it to mean when the woman said if she had that kitchen, she could cook a great meal. 

[biakbiak]

Just now, suebee12 said:

That is what I took it to mean when the woman said if she had that kitchen, she could cook a great meal. 

But if it’s more enjoyable/easier I do tend to plan more elaborate meals than I do at home. It doesn’t necessarily taste better but I completely understand what people mean when they say it.

My pet peeve is those that need an amazing kitchen but will say in the same breath that they don’t cook.

[meep.meep]

On 8/7/2018 at 11:27 AM, Nysha said:

Why do guys need a man cave? Are they pigs and they need a room they don't have to keep clean or do they hate their wives & kids and need a room to escape them? Or is this another side effect of having an open concept house; they have no place that is quiet so they need their own room. Or maybe a justification for buying a McMansion that is 5x larger than they really need. At any rate, I think it's pretty stupid.

My late husband was a hunter and reloaded his own bullets. He set up his stuff in our walk-in closet so he could keep it locked, but when he was in there the door was open and he was accessible to the rest of the family.

I'm no spring chicken and my grandfather had one.  I think it's just a way to say that part of the basement will be dedicated to them versus the rest of the house which "the wife" has full say over.  Out here in California, where basements are very rare, guys don't have man caves.  They have to hang out in the family room with everyone else.

[topanga]

26 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

I'm no spring chicken and my grandfather had one.  I think it's just a way to say that part of the basement will be dedicated to them versus the rest of the house which "the wife" has full say over.  Out here in California, where basements are very rare, guys don't have man caves.  They have to hang out in the family room with everyone else.

Amen. Part of me hates the idea of the man being able to disappear for hours at a time doing his own thing. Most women don’t (or can’t) do this. My children aren’t little kids anymore, but unless I’m sick or really tired, I don’t spend my evenings locked away in my bedroom and avoiding the rest of the family. Trust me, I’d like to some days.  (Most days). But I don’t because I chose to have a family. I don’t get to run away from it.  

[Kohola3]

Good for you, topanga!  Parenthood is a choice and there are responsibilities attached.

[meep.meep]

18 hours ago, suebee12 said:

Ah, yes, more enjoyable but is the meal really any better tasting? That is what I took it to mean when the woman said if she had that kitchen, she could cook a great meal. 

Speaking as someone with a tiny kitchen with no counter space, if I had one of those kitchens there are things I could make that I can't even try in my current kitchen.  I could make fresh pasta again because there would be a place to hook up the pasta machine, for example.  Rolling out a pie crust is an ordeal of moving things around so that I can get 10" square to manipulate the rolling pin.  I have to use my microwave as a container for marinating meat because there is no counter space to leave the dish out.  "Enjoyable" is an understatement.  Feasible is probably what that woman meant.

[laredhead]

Meep.meep, after 13 years of having no counter space in my kitchen, I finally spent the money of a major kitchen remodel 2 years ago.  My #1 priority to the designer was to have as much counter space as possible, and tons of cabinet storage space.  I asked and it was delivered, and it was well worth the expense and hassle of remodeling.  Now I can have my food processor, blender, and a couple of other things on the counters all the time, instead of being stored in a closet in the utility room.  I used them more now that they are readily available.  Yes, my new kitchen is pretty, but it's the utilitarian aspect of it that I most like.  Unfortunately, I see some of these HH's take one look at white subway tile, white cabinets, and granite and they are blinded to the fact that what I see is minimal counter space, few cabinets, etc.  Then they turn around and say they don't cook, so I guess those things don't matter to them.  Good thing I'm not looking for another house, because I would be a picky buyer for things other than bling.

[BlossomCulp]

With regard to "man caves" I always roll my eyes.  I totally get anyone needing some private or semi-private space to set up a hobby or pursue an interest of some kind - but that applies to women just as much as it does to men.  What HHers seems to mean by a man cave is this totally private area where the guy can play computer games or watch sports on a big screen TV without wifey or the kiddies intruding on his specialness.  Ugh.  

Edited August 9, 2018 by BlossomCulp