Season 3 Discussion

[RCharter]

It's not; it's "video igry." I assume they were playing a soccer or football video game. 

 

The subtitles seemed a little off to me in places. Like when Svetlana said she thought the dress would be ugly, she was actually saying it was better than she expected it would be. 

So funny that you could actually say both :)

[truelovekiss]

It's not; it's "video igry." I assume they were playing a soccer or football video game.

The subtitles seemed a little off to me in places. Like when Svetlana said she thought the dress would be ugly, she was actually saying it was better than she expected it would be.

Nice job translating, TLC. Way to try to make some of the only likable people on the show look worse than they are.

[deltaburkefan]

So funny that you could actually say both :)

He may have been saying football ON tv. I wasn't listening super hard and actually her parents are oddly hard to understand--I couldn't understand something in the first episode they were in and I asked my boyfriend, who only speaks Russian, and he didn't catch it either.

 

I've never heard anyone say "telefutbol" as like, a phrase. But you also wouldn't say "tele," you'd generally say "telik," and now my head hurts.

Edited December 1, 2015 by deltaburkefan

[3girlsforus]

I wish it was only a "bad edit" for Mark. He just has too many comments that are so rude that it can't be chalked up to the edit. Such bad form to deny her a dress. He is a control freak. He should have gone inside with her and told the saleswoman the budget and the style. The dress she had on was not going to work for a beach wedding, but there were, surely, a lot more options. I agree with others re: the price not being so bad. I thought she'd said $23,000 at first (hey, it could happen)….so $2,300 seemed somewhat reasonable. He had no intention of buying her ANYTHING and it was painful to go along with them for that charade

This is it exactly. It didn't matter if that dress was $2300 or $23. He wasn't getting her anything. He wanted another power play to show Nikki that she only gets what he wants her to have.

[JasonH]

I get caught up in looking around Marks house when they are there. His oddly placed corded phones get me. He has the one on the wall by his bed. He has one in the kitchen, and we spied another one on the wall about a foot from the ground in the pancake breakfast/cutting mangos room. I respect frugality, but cordless phones are sooooo cheap now and for the convenience and aesthetics, they're worth the few bucks.

He also has stuffed monkeys as curtain holders and those zebra sheets have not changed since the beginning of the show. I'd like to think they have been washed.

[RCharter]

He may have been saying football ON tv. I wasn't listening super hard and actually her parents are oddly hard to understand--I couldn't understand something in the first episode they were in and I asked my boyfriend, who only speaks Russian, and he didn't catch it either.

 

I've never heard anyone say "telefutbol" as like, a phrase. But you also wouldn't say "tele," you'd generally say "telik," and now my head hurts.

Oh no, I meant that you could say "this is ugly" and "this is better than I thought it would look" at the same time.  Because things can be both ugly, but better than you thought :)

I get caught up in looking around Marks house when they are there. His oddly placed corded phones get me. He has the one on the wall by his bed. He has one in the kitchen, and we spied another one on the wall about a foot from the ground in the pancake breakfast/cutting mangos room. I respect frugality, but cordless phones are sooooo cheap now and for the convenience and aesthetics, they're worth the few bucks.

He also has stuffed monkeys as curtain holders and those zebra sheets have not changed since the beginning of the show. I'd like to think they have been washed.

Mark's house is just odd.  The setup is odd, the decorations are odd, the corded phones are odd, there is a dartboard in a hallway IIRC

[deltaburkefan]

What she literally said was something like, "I thought it would be worse," but Russian tends to the negative in sentences, like "not bad" instead of "okay." I've done subtitling before and it's really, really hard, actually, but I think it's a big leap from "I thought it would be worse" to "it's not as ugly as I thought it would be" or whatever they used. Send a sentence to five translators and you'll get five different versions :)

[RCharter]

What she literally said was something like, "I thought it would be worse," but Russian tends to the negative in sentences, like "not bad" instead of "okay." I've done subtitling before and it's really, really hard, actually, but I think it's a big leap from "I thought it would be worse" to "it's not as ugly as I thought it would be" or whatever they used. Send a sentence to five translators and you'll get five different versions :)

Man, this must be how wars gets started.  Some guy really meant "we should have lunch at that sub place across the street" and it gets translated to "I'm going to launch a sub straight to your street!"

[kimaken]

 

I would hope she could take a few classes down at the local community college on the cheap...but again, if she has zero dollars and has to depend on stingy Mark for money even getting that relatively small amount could be a challenge.

Mark comes across as a control freak--I can't see him allowing Nikki the freedom to go to classes. After all, she might meet some young, cute guy on campus, fall in love for real, and leave Mark. Keeping her stuck at home with only limited outside exposure (ie, when she's out with Mark or Elise--not out on her own) works in Mark's favor. Nikki may very well be lazy and not wanting to do anything--we don't know for sure--we know only what's shown in the episodes--we don't know if she's wanted to go to school, get a job, learn to drive that car Mark provided for her (the one that's just like his ex-wife's car back when they were married). We did see the one time she attempted to do something productive at the house--cleaning out the bookcases--and Mark was all up in arms because Nikki messed up his "system" by rearranging the books, etc.

[RCharter]

 We did see the one time she attempted to do something productive at the house--cleaning out the bookcases--and Mark was all up in arms because Nikki messed up his "system" by rearranging the books, etc.

...for which he threatened to send her back home

[IvySpice]

I cut Nikki a ton of slack because she's 19. A lot of us made dumb decisions when we were 19. Throw in the total lack of economic power, and the stakes of the decisions get magnified. If she were a middle-class American like Mark, she might do something short-sighted like pick a college based on proximity to her boyfriend, or pick a major because it sounds easy. Instead she took a shot at a new life in America, and it turned out to be a mess, but she told everyone back home that she was leaving forever...she's in a terrible position, and she didn't know any better, and she doesn't know how to fix it. My take on the car window scene is that Mark didn't show her any of this control freak side until after she landed. That's a dark scene she's living in.

[Crumpet]

 

I noticed Alexei was wearing a wedding band prior to the strip club scene.

 

I noticed that too...he was also wearing a different shirt in that scene (saying goodbye in the bedroom) vs. the next (saying goodbye in the living room). 

[cooksdelight]

The editors on this show are about as good as the ones for Survivor who put out preview clips showing who's wearing the immunity necklace. Then again, TLC doesn't have Mark Burnett's budget.

[RCharter]

I cut Nikki a ton of slack because she's 19. A lot of us made dumb decisions when we were 19. Throw in the total lack of economic power, and the stakes of the decisions get magnified. If she were a middle-class American like Mark, she might do something short-sighted like pick a college based on proximity to her boyfriend, or pick a major because it sounds easy. Instead she took a shot at a new life in America, and it turned out to be a mess, but she told everyone back home that she was leaving forever...she's in a terrible position, and she didn't know any better, and she doesn't know how to fix it. My take on the car window scene is that Mark didn't show her any of this control freak side until after she landed. That's a dark scene she's living in.

I agree.  You make these bad decisions at 19 (because you're a child) and the worse that happens is you come home with your tail between your legs.  You didn't face having to be sent back to abject poverty.  

[3girlsforus]

I cut Nikki a ton of slack because she's 19. A lot of us made dumb decisions when we were 19. Throw in the total lack of economic power, and the stakes of the decisions get magnified. If she were a middle-class American like Mark, she might do something short-sighted like pick a college based on proximity to her boyfriend, or pick a major because it sounds easy. Instead she took a shot at a new life in America, and it turned out to be a mess, but she told everyone back home that she was leaving forever...she's in a terrible position, and she didn't know any better, and she doesn't know how to fix it. My take on the car window scene is that Mark didn't show her any of this control freak side until after she landed. That's a dark scene she's living in.

 

I agree with this and would add that this kind of dark place happens to older women as well. It's much easier for Mark because she's from another country, no family, no friends, no driver's license, no way to work, but he is just like other controlling abusers. He is systematically isolating her, cutting her off from any money, threatening her, and removing any part of her self-worth. Grown women have trouble coping with a situation like that. A 19 year old girl is no match at all.

[Honley Lass]

I agree with this and would add that this kind of dark place happens to older women as well. It's much easier for Mark because she's from another country, no family, no friends, no driver's license, no way to work, but he is just like other controlling abusers. He is systematically isolating her, cutting her off from any money, threatening her, and removing any part of her self-worth. Grown women have trouble coping with a situation like that. A 19 year old girl is no match at all.

 

Word.  To other commenters on this forum who have seemingly little to no sympathy for Nikki, I say once again to really think about the situation and put your 19 year old self in her shoes.  

[cooksdelight]

Nikki is alone and isolated. And living by Mark's rules. I fear for her, truly. And worry. And I have done all within my limited resources to steer help her way.

[LillysPad]

I loved the wedding dress on Nikki, I thought it suited her figure well. I wonder why Mark is being such a cheap ass about the dress but is willing to go all the way to Hawaii to get married. Maybe TLC is footing the bill? And did anyone notice he wears a toupe? When he and Nikki were talking about the prenup they showed the back of his head. He has brown hair on top, then a visible line, then gray hair.

 

 

That was a toupee? I thought it was just the way the hair was cut.

Why doesn't Alexi run. He's a smart caring guy. This situation with Loren is in ick territory for me Is his situation back home that bad as to have to swallow so much JAP crap? I don't get it

 

I heard him tell her "I looked at flights".

[Dobian]

Fonzie...err Mark... is such a douchebag.  Bullies his 19 year old girlfriend into signing the prenup or be sent home packing.  And that line about how it's fair because she gets to keep whatever she makes, like if she became America's next top model and makes millions.  Give me a break, what a BSer.  I can understand him not wanting to get taken to the cleaners in a divorce, but legitimate prenups give the other spouse "something", with that something based on how many years they were married.  So this girl gets to have no kids, gets nothing in a divorce, and gets to be married to this aging, nerdy OCD creep that his kids probably don't even like save for the one.  I'm sure that preview where he's waiting on the beach and she's 40 minutes late is just a fake-out, but I really hope she stands him up.  Go home, girl.

Edited December 1, 2015 by Dobian

[Chickabiddy]

I am so glad to finally see some support rallying around Nikki  If Mark is getting a bad edit, Nikki could be getting an equally bad edit as well. However, I think fears of Mark's bad edit are exaggerated.  True, the bridal salon footage could have been edited to show him in a bad light; however, we have Mark's own talking heads and the details of his first wife doing a runner to show that maybe the edit is not that bad. I would argue that it takes a lot of very bad for a woman to run off and leaver her children behind. Also, why has Mark been single all these 20 years? I think a stable family man with a job and house would be a good catch for a lot of women. That fact that he has to mail order bride number two speaks volumes.

 

Even though this may be a business transaction, my heart goes out to Nikki because she really is holding up her end of the bargain, and we know how miserable it is to do business with a total asshat. Further, Mark has all the power and control in the relationship. He knows it and enjoys using  it and flaunting it. I really see him as something of a sadist. He enjoys needling her and bullying her. Just as he did with the bridal dress shopping exxcursion, don't you think he totally mislead her about his true character while he was in the Philippines?  He really is a sick individual. He loves the bait and switch.

 

Faulting Nikki for being lazy or unwilling to go home embarrassed after telling everyone about her big plans also seems unfair. I don't think she is some privileged coed who ran off with her professor on a lark. She probably has a large extended family depending on her to go to America and at least work to send them money home, if not sponsor a few more in time. Why the support for Devar's motives and not for Nikki's?  As for lazy, I am not sure I would be motivated to wear myself out in service to a mean little runt of a bully. Maybe she is lying around in bed all day because she is depressed and afraid, suffering under the burden of not letting her family down.

 

At 19, it is hard to take the long view and to be patient. She is looking at least two years with this emotional abuser. Hell, I have 20 years on Nikki and I don't know if I could take two years with that sadistic little worm. Her only mistake is being born poor in a poor part of the world with very little opportunity. She is taking the best chance she has to make a better life for herself and her family.

 

Ok, rant over. I think I may go try to organize a rescue party for Nikki. I may just offer to sponsor her myself. :-)

Edited December 1, 2015 by Chickabiddy

[LillysPad]

 

Mark's house is just odd.  The setup is odd, the decorations are odd, the corded phones are odd, there is a dartboard in a hallway IIRC

 

The house is old. Period. I was pausing the show and looking at the rooms too. The stand where the tv sat is old. At first I thought they had put it together wrong.  Nope. An old tube TV sat in that spot at one time. It reminded me of my dad's house where he would only change out something if it broke, to where he could not reuse it in any other way.

 

I have read where people are trying to find this couple online. If Mark is still keeping things around from the 70's and beyond, there is no way he can be on social media like the rest of them.  My neighbor who is 60 can't figure out the iPad the kids got him for Christmas last year. He still uses an old style flip phone. I can see Mark whipping out one of these.

 

The game you see on that wall is from the 80's.

[okerry]

And if you complain...I'll send you back.  And if you're not happy about not getting the wedding dress....I'll send you back.  Smile all the time....or I'll send you back.  Be happy all the time....or I'll send you back.  Now wipe the drool off my chin.....

Exactly. Edited or not, that's emotional abuse. No matter what Nikki has or has not done - she comes across like a bar girl with little to no family back home who grabbed the first pathetic old American guy who asked, but who really knows - nobody deserves to be treated like that.

[Kellyee]

 

Exactly. Edited or not, that's emotional abuse. No matter what Nikki has or has not done - she comes across like a bar girl with little to no family back home who grabbed the first pathetic old American guy who asked, but who really knows - nobody deserves to be treated like that.

 

More than any of the others, I suspect that Mark found Nikki through a mail order bride service. I also suspect he at least partially looks at her like a purchase he made. Wasn't that one women from last season also from the Philipines? The one who married the divorced guy with two sons. She seemed to have more power in the relationship than Nikki does. But she was also a little older than Nikki. And the guy was a little weird, but a lot less creepy than Mark.

[ParkCirclegirl]

I wonder if they will really go to Hawaii and get married or is Hawaii a layover for Nikki on the way back to the Philippines?

[LillysPad]

Nikki is alone and isolated. And living by Mark's rules. I fear for her, truly. And worry. And I have done all within my limited resources to steer help her way.

 

You talk of Nikki being isolated and alone, I feel the same way for Alexei. That poor guy is forced to stay in that apartment, sorry condo, with his soon to be in-laws. Loren knew that TLC would be back to tape some more, why didn't she take him out in to the city so he could meet some other men. He is there for three months! In that time she couldn't take some time out and take him to a place where he could one day make a friend? 

 

When Loren yelled at her mom like that, my mouth flew open. I liked how the mom blurted out things back. Mom was not taking anymore of Daddy's little princess. I feel for Alexei and what their future will be like once out of his in-laws house.

[okerry]

This is it exactly. It didn't matter if that dress was $2300 or $23. He wasn't getting her anything. He wanted another power play to show Nikki that she only gets what he wants her to have.

I am amazed that Mark didn't pull out his ex-wife's wedding gown from the back of a closet and tell Nikki to wear that.

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

Soft-Core Loren
On the penultimate episode of 90 Day Fiancé, some of the couples get married, while others fight about strip clubs. Who came out on top this week?

[3girlsforus]

The house is old. Period. I was pausing the show and looking at the rooms too. The stand where the tv sat is old. At first I thought they had put it together wrong.  Nope. An old tube TV sat in that spot at one time. It reminded me of my dad's house where he would only change out something if it broke, to where he could not reuse it in any other way.

 

I have read where people are trying to find this couple online. If Mark is still keeping things around from the 70's and beyond, there is no way he can be on social media like the rest of them.  My neighbor who is 60 can't figure out the iPad the kids got him for Christmas last year. He still uses an old style flip phone. I can see Mark whipping out one of these.

 

The game you see on that wall is from the 80's.

 

I suspect it's even more than his age and unwillingness to update things. I think he is still living in that time when he had his first wife. Everything about the house is the same. Now he's just trying to fill the spot of the wife. 

I am amazed that Mark didn't pull out his ex-wife's wedding gown from the back of a closet and tell Nikki to wear that.

I was expecting that as well. 

[RCharter]

You talk of Nikki being isolated and alone, I feel the same way for Alexei. That poor guy is forced to stay in that apartment, sorry condo, with his soon to be in-laws. Loren knew that TLC would be back to tape some more, why didn't she take him out in to the city so he could meet some other men. He is there for three months! In that time she couldn't take some time out and take him to a place where he could one day make a friend? 

 

When Loren yelled at her mom like that, my mouth flew open. I liked how the mom blurted out things back. Mom was not taking anymore of Daddy's little princess. I feel for Alexei and what their future will be like once out of his in-laws house.

Alexi is another one that will be beaten down.  He is isolated from his family and his friends and Loren's family of enablers will always tell him that she is right while he is made to feel crazy for his perfectly normal feelings.  She will take any fight right out of him by wearing him down with tears, defensiveness, yelling, and more tears.

 

I am amazed that Mark didn't pull out his ex-wife's wedding gown from the back of a closet and tell Nikki to wear that.

Well, she is buried in it so.....

[Neurochick]

After watching the show last night, I was really pissed. The only thing Alexi asked her not to do was to go to a strip club. Her response was that she didn't plan it so she doesn't know what her friends planned. I'm pretty sure she had an idea of what was going to happen. She had that attuitude that she was entitled to this bachelorette party. Her best friend ranks right up there too.

Did any of catch her comment just before going into the strip club..... I may not be getting married after this, but at least I have my wand. She CHOSE to go in, she allowed herself to be brought up on stage, but she chose to grope the stripper in front of her. After the texts with uAlexi while in the club, she freaks out. Her friend taking the phone and talking Alexi just made things worse. Afterwards, when she can't get a hold of Alexi, and now she gets worried. What a privileged bitch!

Loren's attuitude towards Alexi is very disrespectful. He gave up everything, and has no one but her and her parents. I really felt bad for him, and don't blame him for going dark. How she acted, and not owning up to any of her actions, says a lot of her character. Her excuse that it wasn't her fault since she didn't plan it. So under that logic, if her friends took her to a hotel and set her up with a male escort for the night wouldn't be her fault too. Shit privileged logic!

 

I like this post a million times.  See, Alexi asked Loren not to go to a strip club, that's it.  He even told her he wouldn't have minded it if she went to a club.  To some people, and in some cultures, strip clubs are seen as nasty, seedy places; to others they've become mainstream.  If you're going to marry someone and something bothers them, then talk about it together.  That's what you do.  It's disrespectful to think, "well, I think it's okay, fuck what he thinks," that's what Loren did.  She really didn't get why Alexi was upset.  It wasn't the strip club honey, it was that he asked you not to go to one and you did it anyway.  

 

Alexandra and Josh are young, but you know what?  It's all good; I get the sense that he really loves her.  So many people go through their entire life and never meet anyone who loves them like that.  Hopefully they'll make it.

 

I felt for Kyle when he went to see his mother.  In some cultures they feel that "your mother is your mother, no matter what."  Noon really understood Kyle's feelings when she met his mother.  I'm glad she got it.

 

Melanie's sister is one nasty piece of work.  She was reading on the Internet how Jamaican men go after white women for the $$$?  Lady, it ain't only Jamaican men who do that; and they do that to American women of all races, not just white.  

 

I'm annoyed with Mark.  Look, I get the prenup thing, but Nikki is a CHILD.  I bet Mark would never pull that shit on a woman his age, and if he did, she'd raise him one with a prenup of her own.  I hated when he said, "sign this or you go back to the Philippines," no discussion, no talking it out, just sign or else.   Nikki wouldn't get anything even if she stayed marry to that jerk for 10 years and he decided he wanted a younger woman.  One thing I didn't understand, Mark said he was left with 4 children, so why would his wife try to take his money?  I mean a judge should have said, "fuck you lady, he's raising the kids, why should you get everything?"  I wonder how much of what he said about his ex and his divorce, was true.

Edited December 1, 2015 by Neurochick

[b2H]

When I told my husband about the pre-nup, his response was, if it should ever have to go into effect, it would probably not stand up in court.

But i do not like thatguy, not one bit.

[DangerousMinds]

Watching the "mom" scene was hard...poor Kyle

 

but I am just so happy for them - truly a love match there

 

Alexandria and Josh? I still feel odd about them.FYI - some Mormans get married in local temple in  regular ceremony then go to preferably the big one in Utah

for the "real deal"....which from all I have read involves a more hush hush ceremonial "pulling the wife through the veil" -huge white stage curtain...to symbolize the way he will pull her to his private planet where he will be king in the afterlife - oh and cause women need a man to pull them to heaven he will have to pull in more women - afterlife polygamy is a-ok. Only active Mormons can attend. Apparently they can have a civil service and then later go for the "sealing" ceremony

google it

 

I have no sympathy for Mark...and none for Nikki. I hope the prenup stands for the sake of his 4 kids who have put up with him since they were in diapers.

Go find another guy to use while you still can Nikki. 

I think I am one of the only ones who feel that the prenup was OK. Spouses shouldn't owe each other anything if the marriage ends, in general. Nikki should get married if she wants to and pursue an education (that Mark will likely pay for) and go on to get a job and make her own money.

[Drogo]

I could watch an entire reality series about Nikki's lawyer giving legal advice to people who aren't listening to him.  He gave it to her straight and his frustration (at knowing she was going to sign it anyway) was palpable. 

[RCharter]

I think I am one of the only ones who feel that the prenup was OK. Spouses shouldn't owe each other anything if the marriage ends, in general. Nikki should get married if she wants to and pursue an education (that Mark will likely pay for) and go on to get a job and make her own money.

Why would Mark agree to pay for an education?  The higher her position in life, the less control he has over her.  

[BradandJanet]

Why would Mark agree to pay for an education?  The higher her position in life, the less control he has over her.  

 

True, but he may expect her to earn her keep by getting a job. Two years of community college could help with that goal. 

[RCharter]

True, but he may expect her to earn her keep by getting a job. Two years of community college could help with that goal. 

I think he will expect to make her feel shitty by not earning her keep.  But the best he would allow is a fast food job, or maybe a job at a nail salon...as long as it doesn't require beauty school

[Kiss my mutt]

I wonder if Mark will at least have a life insurance policy? What happens if he dies and she Stays by his side? I loved the lawyer giving it to her straight like that. Wouldn't the prenup have to be notarized?

That bachelorette party was so lame with only her best friend and bump on a log sister. Alexei had every reason to be upset. What if he wanted to go to a strip club for his bachelors party. How would Loren feel about that especially if she asked him not to?

No amount of makeup and hair dressing is going to make Melanie and her wedding party attractive. I see Melanie morphing into her sister in a few years. I don't know where Devar's head is at but I don't have a problem with him.

Fernando is disgusting. How in the world this 40 year old, slovenly, fat loser who lives with his parents got so much ass in the past bewilders me. Again, I have no problem with Carolina. Other than the fact she's with Fernando.

I know Kyle was disappointed that his mother didn't make it but it's probably for the best not having her drunk at the wedding. I think Noon was relieved.

I think Aleksandra will wake up one morning and leave. It might take 10-15 years but she will feel like she missed out on her youth and have a pre-midlife crisis.

[autumnh]

You have to wonder WHY Mark's first wife cut and run..who knows what kind of life she was living. Just watching him now I truly think he's been the same douche all of these years. We also don't know what transpired between he and Nikki prior to her coming to USA..maybe all of this shitty behavior is coming to a head since she is now here and she almost feels like a captive. I know she isn't but well, you know what I mean.

 

Also? he has 4 children and only one shows up on the show on occasion. Wonder why they won't don't want to be on the show. It could be something as simple as they don't want to be on or I would think they have a relationship with their mother now and maybe out of respect for her they don't want to drag the family through the mud.

[Pepper Mostly]

I wonder if Mark will at least have a life insurance policy? What happens if he dies and she Stays by his side? I loved the lawyer giving it to her straight like that. Wouldn't the prenup have to be notarized?

 

If he has life insurance, the kids are beneficiaries. He'll leave Nikki penniless and he doesn't care one iota.

[cooksdelight]

I asked Elise on Facebook why her brothers are not on the show. Vague answer, "they didn't want to be on TV" was the answer I got.

With Mark as a father, marrying a teenager..... yeah, I can see that.

[RCharter]

You have to wonder WHY Mark's first wife cut and run..who knows what kind of life she was living. Just watching him now I truly think he's been the same douche all of these years. We also don't know what transpired between he and Nikki prior to her coming to USA..maybe all of this shitty behavior is coming to a head since she is now here and she almost feels like a captive. I know she isn't but well, you know what I mean.

 

Also? he has 4 children and only one shows up on the show on occasion. Wonder why they won't don't want to be on the show. It could be something as simple as they don't want to be on or I would think they have a relationship with their mother now and maybe out of respect for her they don't want to drag the family through the mud.

This doesn't apply in all situations, but a relatively young man who has to search for a wife overseas in a poor country may do so so he can get a deal.  If you're a young and reasonably good looking guy with your own business, you should be a catch.  And if you aren't, it may have more to do with your personality than anything else.  So I could see his personality always being an issue.

 

And yes, he could have preferred to have a "traditional" wife, but there are women in his part of the world and every part of the world that would prefer a more traditional existence.

[kimaken]

 

Why would Mark agree to pay for an education?  The higher her position in life, the less control he has over her. 

 

True, but he may expect her to earn her keep by getting a job. Two years of community college could help with that goal.

How would Nikki (1) get into community college? I don't know if she'd be able to get school transcripts from the Philippines, and (2) get to the community college, since she doesn't drive? There's a lot she'd need to accomplish before going to any school over here, and I don't think Mark is going to allow her to do so--he wants arm candy in public, and someone to clean at home and take care of him in his old age. I don't think he wants a woman who can think for herself and have the mobility to go out, do things, meet people.

[Kangatush]

I want to do something I never thought I'd do, compliment Dirk. It was pretty cool of him to learn how to do that ceremony in Russian for Aleksandra and her parents. It was a fantastic way to make them feel included. I wish Aleks and Josh nothing but happiness, but I know the odds are against them.

I also wish happiness for Kyle and Noon. I'm sorry the decided to go with the weird mom meeting instead of Kyle just being honest with Noon. Makes me wonder what's the story with his dad.

Loren is insane, but Alexsei seems on board for it, so his fault. I also laughed that her "Bachelorette Weekend" was her, her sister, one friend, and a visit to a cheesy strip club. If that's the best you can do for a whole weekend, you are sad. And I hold her entirely responsible for the brouhaha. She did NOT have to promise him. She did disrespect him and seemed totally oblivious about it.

I don't even have the energy to go into Mark and Nikki. It's just so ugh.

[deltaburkefan]

You can foreign education credentials verified. The community college where I'm from has a lot of immigrants and an ESL program you can do concurrently with your associates program. I think Mark's daughter has said on Facebook that her dad would actually pay, but who knows.

Edited December 1, 2015 by deltaburkefan

[cooksdelight]

See the "Message from Cassia" in Season 2 forum, she got papers but still cannot do a whole lot. It takes time.

[RCharter]

You can foreign education credentials verified. The community college where I'm from has a lot of immigrants and an ESL program you can do concurrently with your associates program. I think Mark's daughter has said on Facebook that her dad would actually pay, but who knows.

Yeah, I'm sure thats exactly what he would tell Elise.  But I can't even imagine the obstacles and roadblocks he would put up, even if he just didn't flat out tell her "no" It would be too expensive, she should just wait a semester, he had no idea it would cost so much, his check got lost in the mail.  I think Nikki's english is fine, but I do think that community college for non-residents may actually be quite a bit more expensive.

[millennium]

I agree with this and would add that this kind of dark place happens to older women as well. It's much easier for Mark because she's from another country, no family, no friends, no driver's license, no way to work, but he is just like other controlling abusers. He is systematically isolating her, cutting her off from any money, threatening her, and removing any part of her self-worth. Grown women have trouble coping with a situation like that. A 19 year old girl is no match at all.

 

Please.   Nikki is not just out of diapers.   She's an opportunist, one who willingly entered this transaction knowing the risks.  She probably thought things would turn out better, or that she could influence Mark to change whatever she didn't like once she got here.   Either way, she underestimated the situation.  

 

I'll say it again -- if she doesn't like it, she can leave.   She can go home.   Comparisons between Mark and abusers continue to be made but the fact is Mark hasn't laid a hand on her or forbidden her to do anything except spend his money.    And unlike many real victims of abuse, Nikki has options.   She can go home.  And she has the protection of the show. 

Edited December 1, 2015 by millennium

[okerry]

I'm annoyed with Mark.  Look, I get the prenup thing, but Nikki is a CHILD.  I bet Mark would never pull that shit on a woman his age, and if he did, she'd raise him one with a prenup of her own.  I hated when he said, "sign this or you go back to the Philippines," no discussion, no talking it out, just sign or else.   

Guys like Mark have to shop overseas for wives because no self-respecting modern American woman is going to put up with his terrible treatment of her for one second - and there's even less chance of him talking a 19-year-old American girl into marrying him.

 

His constant threats to send her back to the Philippines if she doesn't please him is clear-cut emotional abuse. If it's been faked for the show, then she should be shown rejecting him for his horrendous treatment of her. If it's real - then I hope the cops are watching, or that at the very least some expert will seriously call Mark out on his behaviour. Nobody should have to live in a marriage with threats like that. Nobody. And if the Show is going to show it, they should also show some consequences for it.

[deltaburkefan]

Yeah, I'm sure thats exactly what he would tell Elise. But I can't even imagine the obstacles and roadblocks he would put up, even if he just didn't flat out tell her "no" It would be too expensive, she should just wait a semester, he had no idea it would cost so much, his check got lost in the mail. I think Nikki's english is fine, but I do think that community college for non-residents may actually be quite a bit more expensive.

What does it take to be a resident, though? If you are living there and are married to a resident, doesn't that count? Or do you need to be a citizen?

I've actually been looking into this issue, and non-resident is twice as expensive, but still cheap compared to any other form of higher education in the U.S.

ETA: it seems in Maryland, you just need to have lived there for a year.

Edited December 1, 2015 by deltaburkefan

[merylinkid]

I just want to correct a few things about Mark.   I know he says his wife just took off and left him with 4 kids.   The online docket of the court case tells a very different story.   I discussed further over in his thread, since it is specific to him and not an episode.