Episode Discussion: TFGH

[RealityCowgirl]

The lizard sounds like the least absurd thing about today. Almost tempted to watch. Almost. ;)

Edited March 21, 2016 by RealityCowgirl

[LeftPhalange]

I haven't seen the show yet.  Is this some sort of euphemism?  ;)

 

[Lillybee]

It could be worse. At least he isn't doesn't have a pet walrus like the guy who walks his in downtown Spokane.

 

Sam who wears black bras almost always, should have been in that courtroom scene.

[OnceSane]

I haven't seen the show yet.  Is this some sort of euphemism?  ;)

Nope, he legit had a pet lizard and stroked it while on the phone to Monica*

WTFiggityF was the show today? Between Dr. Michael Easton and the "Titties for everyone!" brigade, I am at a loss.

At least Dante had the good sense to block the view of his mom's tatas.

The only part of the show worth watching was Tracy's storyline. Even Private Mayo did better than bland.

*Insert your own joke here.

[Chairperson Meow]

Like, I'm literally in favor of dumping Kiki, Dorky, Sobby, Felix, Milo, etc etc just to get that Lizard a contract. I love him. I just hope he doesn't join the mob too.

[IWantCandy71]

Like, I'm literally in favor of dumping Kiki, Dorky, Sobby, Felix, Milo, etc etc just to get that Lizard a contract. I love him. I just hope he doesn't join the mob too.

 

BC is already jealous of the lizard. I saw it on Twitter.

 

Edited March 21, 2016 by IWantCandy71

[HeatLifer]

I just hope he doesn't join the mob too.

He actually...yep...he just shot Sonny.

[IWantCandy71]

Nope, he legit had a pet lizard and stroked it while on the phone to Monica*

WTFiggityF was the show today? Between Dr. Michael Easton and the "Titties for everyone!" brigade, I am at a loss.

At least Dante had the good sense to block the view of his mom's tatas.

The only part of the show worth watching was Tracy's storyline. Even Private Mayo did better than bland.

*Insert your own joke here.

 

Somewhere Jane Elliot is thinking:" Boobs to the left of me. Lizards to the right."   *dials manager* 

[Francie]

So the Lizard petting is supposed to indicate ME's character is cold blooded? Or it indicates absolutely nothing. Or it indicates something that will be revealed, but not until 2018.

I'm pretty sure that it went something like:

Easton: And I want a badass pet, like an alligator. Remember, Sonny Crockett had an alligator.

Frank: I got you covered.

And Easton shows up on his first day, wondering where the animal wrangler is. Meanwhile, Frank's intern had to take a break from tweeting to run over to West Hollywood PetSmart to pick up Little Iggy. Or, Mr. Little Iggy, if you're nasty.

[HeatLifer]

BTW, *why* did The Soup have to end? Today's show sounds like the best fodder they would have had in a while.

"NO ONE CARES ENOUGH TO GIVE U A SECOND TAKE, LIZARD." -Joel McHale somewhere, probably.

[TeeVee329]

So the Lizard petting is supposed to indicate ME's character is cold blooded? Or it indicates absolutely nothing. Or it indicates something that will be revealed, but not until 2018.

 

I think it indicates Frank wanted his boy Michael Easton's re-re-entrance to be "buzzy" and "memorable".

 

*sarcastic golf clap*

Edited March 21, 2016 by TeeVee329

[dubbel zout]

Color me shocked, but I didn't mind the court stuff. It was dumb, of course, but I kind of liked the solidarity of everyone taking her shirt off.

 

Monica should be glad Tracy has a health care directive at all.

 

Valerie needs to tell Curtis to stop calling her "little lady." Ugh. Not cute or cool.

 

I like the Crimson story, despite the idiotic reason behind it.

 

I died laughing at Dr. Michael Easton stroking the lizard. Oh, Frank, you scamp.

[mybabyaidan]

I'm pretty sure that it went something like:

Easton: And I want a badass pet, like an alligator. Remember, Sonny Crockett had an alligator.

Frank: I got you covered.

And Easton shows up on his first day, wondering where the animal wrangler is. Meanwhile, Frank's intern had to take a break from tweeting to run over to West Hollywood PetSmart to pick up Little Iggy. Or, Mr. Little Iggy, if you're nasty.

 

Beardies do get pretty big.   Let it grow a bit before you rag in it!  LOL

 

Nope, he legit had a pet lizard and stroked it while on the phone to Monica*

 

 

Which means he must be evil.  Because man, their skin can hurt when you pet it.  They are covered in little prickly things (I think that's the scientific name for it ;) )  They AREN'T really for petting.  So....EVIL.

 

 

Now you know the show was a pile of crap when I am fixated on the damn lizard. 

[IWantCandy71]

I think it indicates Frank wanted his boy Michael Easton's re-re-entrance to be "buzzy" and "memorable".

 

*sarcastic golf clap*

 

 

 

Cheesy or not, it gets people talking, and honestly I think they don't care anymore if it's bad buzz. They just know if it can get people talking, people will tune in. And they are kind of right. The problem is, though- getting people to stay. Lizzard petting only gets you so far.

I can't believe I just typed that. I feel dirty.

[Chairperson Meow]

"NO ONE CARES ENOUGH TO GIVE U A SECOND TAKE, LIZARD." -Joel McHale somewhere, probably.

"AND THE WINNER FOR OUTSTANDING YOUNGER LEADING ACTOR IN A DAYTIME DRAMA.... THE LIZARD! Aww sorry Bryan Craig, maybe next year!" - soap twitter everywhere.

[Badsamaritan]

In homage to the wretched PuppyMonkeyBaby and Dr. Michael Easton's many nicknames on the Twitter (most notably Horse face and Ham) I am now dubbing any reference to Dr. Michael John Steven Silas Hamilton Easton McBain Clay Clay Finn as LizardHorseyPiglet.

Now I just need a new avatar...

[HeatLifer]

"AND THE WINNER FOR OUTSTANDING YOUNGER LEADING ACTOR IN A DAYTIME DRAMA.... THE LIZARD! Aww sorry Bryan Craig, maybe next year!" - soap twitter everywhere.

@kellythiebaud i just don't understand how @lizard won the emmy over my man......i still love u baby

[dubbel zout]

@kellythiebaud you were robbed baby time to quit and show the rest of the world what u can do

[P3pp3rb1rd]

The lizard is obviously a cabalistic shout-out to the GH Liz character.  Bony, pale white and delicate, bloodless LIZ-ard.

[Chairperson Meow]

@bryancraig gahhhh ima go take his job from geicho

@The_Lizard hey @bryancraig wrong lizard, dude. Not all lizards are related.

@Lizzzaarrdgrrrrill!!!111 omg omg @bryancraig is so prejudices! !!

@kellythiebaud omg my man is teh best. Shut up haters!

[TeeVee329]

Previews...Kathleen Gati's "What did you say, nutball?" face when Nina starts sing-songing to Dr. O about getting pregnant is delightful.

[Dandesun]

If they call that lizard Tad Cooper, I will straight up shoot someone Frank Castle style. I super believe in Tad Cooper as much as King Richard did by there is no way GH gets to crib from Galavant.

Edited March 22, 2016 by Dandesun

[thewhiteowl]

Which started off with Michelle Stafford flinging off her shirt, clenching her biceps as rock hard as possible and then pointing Mary Catherine Gallagher style at her boobs.

Far more disturbing visual than ME stroking the lizard.

Wow, that sounds bad. Lol

[Oracle42]

Everything about these stories, including this stupid shit with Crimson assembling copies of a national/regional high fashion magazine by hand is painfully stupid and embarrassing.

I am legit embarrassed by my soap. It's not soapy; it's cringe inducing and I feel badly for the actors and the audience

[linsav]

Everything about these stories, including this stupid shit with Crimson assembling copies of a national/regional high fashion magazine by hand is painfully stupid and embarrassing.

I am legit embarrassed by my soap. It's not soapy; it's cringe inducing and I feel badly for the actors and the audience

So everyone was concentrated on the bearded dragon and didn't pick up on Dr. Finn's smirk like he was just waiting for Monica to call and his intense interest in "carbonic snow" as in Ice Princess carbonic snow?

[jsbt]

I caught the reference to the snow. I just didn't care.

[mybabyaidan]

If they call that lizard Tad Cooper, I will straight up shoot someone Frank Castle style. I super believe in Tad Cooper as much as King Richard did by there is no way GH gets to crib from Galavant.

 

IT'S NOT A LIZARD!    IT'S A F****ING DRAGON!   And I super believe in him too.

Edited March 22, 2016 by mybabyaidan

[boes]

Far more disturbing visual than ME stroking the lizard.

Wow, that sounds bad. Lol

I'm not watching, but I assume that by "stroking the lizard", that means he and the Nina are mating?

Kidding! And while I'm sure I'll regret it, I have to watch today's show.

[Syndicate]

So everyone was concentrated on the bearded dragon and didn't pick up on Dr. Finn's smirk like he was just waiting for Monica to call and his intense interest in "carbonic snow" as in Ice Princess carbonic snow?

So Valentine Cassadine then? Is that what this "clue" eludes to?

[Francie]

Beardies do get pretty big. Let it grow a bit before you rag in it! LOL

Which means he must be evil. Because man, their skin can hurt when you pet it. They are covered in little prickly things (I think that's the scientific name for it ;) ) They AREN'T really for petting. So....EVIL.

Now you know the show was a pile of crap when I am fixated on the damn lizard.

Point taken. I wasn't trying to rag on the lizard. I'm just ragging on GH's budget. Frank is going to be PISSED when it costs more than a $1.25/day to feed Mr. Ignatious. And Bryan is going to be pissed when he finds out he has to share a dressing room with him.

I couldn't resist the Trainwreck quality, and had to watch the show. Here's my real-time thoughts (for what they're worth):

Dr. day player evil with the white hair? Is a seriously bad actor. They used to be a time when there was a plethora of great actors to cull from for scenes like these.

The scenes at Crimson? Where especially painful. You could actually see the cadence at which Stafford memorized her lines. It was like she was reciting one of Ulkis's poems. And the writing? When I was 10 to 12 years old I used to write plays and put them on in my basement. With all due humility, they were just as good, if not better, than those scenes. DZ looked like he wanted to be put out of his misery.

Do you know who actually did a really good job today? LW. She sold it as well as anyone could.

I'm with IWantCandy. Jane Elliot is acting as if she is on an entirely different show.

The lack of rehearsal is really, really starting to show.

I think the show has hit an all-time low in terms of production quality.

I can barely get to Iggy. If it were not the promise of that UCG, I would've bailed. As it was, I had to FF at 17 minutes. I couldn't believe that I wasn't already nearly to the end.

Painful. Like I even feel bad about snarking on it now. It's like hitting something when it's down.

RIP GH.

I'm actually kinda sad.

Edited March 22, 2016 by Francie

[boes]

Thanks for the snark, you wonderful, brave, funny preverts, still hanging on to Show!  I watched the for the first time in forever, because of reading your posts.  

 

Val is worse than I remember... Nina, well, she couldn't get worse.  Maxie is still oxygen deprived.  Tracy is wonderful as always and it was great to see Monica.

 

BreastGate was bad.  Just bad.  

 

And Easton is back....why?  This is what - his fourth character on GH?  And he still plays every single one exactly like the first.  I guess he just can't be killed or fired or forced back underground, no matter how much holy water is used, how many prayers are offered up.

Lizard must have crawled out of his hair.

 

I salute you all still watching - I don't have the strength. 

[ulkis]

Point taken. I wasn't trying to rag on the lizard. I'm just ragging on GH's budget. Frank is going to be PISSED when it costs more than a $1.25/day to feed Mr. Ignatious. And Bryan is going to be pissed when he finds out he has to share with him.

 

Actually I'm imagining this:

 

Frank: I'm taking you all out to lunch everyone!

 

Chad: Really?

 

Frank: well no, but I am bringing lunch to you.  Stew! Pretty good if I do say so myself. Who knew iguana tasted so good.

 

Tyler: Did you cook the lizard, Frank?

 

Frank: no one would buy him back! And the story was done!

 

Bryan: Nooooooooo! I thought fucked up and wrong things didn't happen in America!

Edited March 22, 2016 by ulkis

[rur]

If they call that lizard Tad Cooper, I will straight up shoot someone Frank Castle style. 

 

On OLTL, IIRC, one of the characters named her dog (on the show) after one of the characters on the show. 

I think this tradition should be continued with the lizard.

I suggest  Sonny Corinthos, or Morgan Corinthos, or Franco. 

Just thinking about the dialogue amuses me:

 

Carly: I'm sorry, I have to leave now and make dinner for Sonny Corinthos, not the lizard.

Kiki: I think Morgan Corinthos the lizard is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. I think I'm in love with Morgan Corinthos the lizard. 

Nina: I want to have a baby with Franco, not the lizard, but if Franco, not the lizard, won't agree to be the father, can I adopt Franco the lizard?

[Francie]

Actually I'm imagining this:

Frank: I'm taking you all out to lunch everyone!

Chad: Really?

Frank: well no, but I am bringing lunch to you. Stew! Pretty good if I do say so myself. Who knew iguana tasted so good.

Tyler: Did you cook the lizard, Frank?

Frank: no one would buy him back! And the story was done!

Bryan: Nooooooooo! I thought fucked up and wrong things didn't happen in America!

Aww. That's OK.

I'm actually now imagining that Michael Eastin wanted a cat to be in the scene, so he could re-create the opening scene of the Godfather, with Marlon Brando as the true Don, Vito Corleone.

But then, Michael has a sneezing attack, as apparently he's allergic to cats.

They then try a dog. But he's allergic to that too. Sneezing and sneezing up and sneezing.

Then a bird. But apparently he's allergic to feathers too.

A rabbit? Nope, still too furry. ACHOO! ACHOO!

So, finally they wind up with a hairless, furless lizard. It was either that or a goldfish.

Edited March 22, 2016 by Francie

[Chairperson Meow]

Lizard has it in his contract to not be named after any character in this show.

I'm watching now. Tracy Quartermaine is what we should all strive to be in the hospital. Monagrammed pillows? Fancy robes? Ordering the staff around like they're her maids? I'm in school for nursing and even I'm like yaaaas Queen, may I please get you some champy please?

Shut up and get a haircut, Dante.

[rur]

 

Lizard has it in his contract to not be named after any character in this show.

 

That's too bad. But I think I may start using "Sonny Corinthos the lizard" whenever I feel the need to mention the Don of the Eastern Seaboard. 

[Bill C.]

I only saw the first five minutes or so of today's episode, so the glory of The Lizard still awaits me.

 

(Semi-seriously, though: I actually like Michael Easton, understated almost to a fault as he is, but c'mon.  Has a single actor ever played four characters on the same soap before now?  Ever?)

 

My current burning question, therefore, is this: has GH's hairstylist revolted or something?  Because they did the impossible: they made Brytni Sarpy unattractive.  (Or more accurately: they made her look sixteen, which is so ridiculously and utterly wrong.  And putting salt-and-pepper Curtis next to that really, truly did not help.)

[boes]

So, finally they wind up with a hairless, furless lizard. It was either that or a goldfish.

 

 

Shut up and get a haircut, Dante.

 

 

That's too bad. But I think I may start using "Sonny Corinthos the lizard" whenever I feel the need to mention the Don of the Eastern Seaboard. 

 

 

On OLTL, IIRC, one of the characters named her dog (on the show) after one of the characters on the show. 

I think this tradition should be continued with the lizard.

I suggest  Sonny Corinthos, or Morgan Corinthos, or Franco. 

Just thinking about the dialogue amuses me:

 

Carly: I'm sorry, I have to leave now and make dinner for Sonny Corinthos, not the lizard.

Kiki: I think Morgan Corinthos the lizard is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. I think I'm in love with Morgan Corinthos the lizard. 

Nina: I want to have a baby with Franco, not the lizard, but if Franco, not the lizard, won't agree to be the father, can I adopt Franco the lizard?

 

****DEAD****  

 

I be killed by solid gold snark like those above.

 

(David Vickers. the dog (and the man), sniff....

 

Also, I think going by this picture leaked from the set, Michael Easton's relationship with the lizard is no one night stand.....

 

 

Edited March 22, 2016 by boes

[Chairperson Meow]

Everytime I watch Lizard's scene it just gets better. Why is it that Lizard can hit his cue everytime, but cast members who've done daytime for years can't hit theirs for shit?

Also, Lizard's tree branch was better less scarier than MSt's arms, mostly because Branch wasn't propelling about.

All I need to say about Tittays: The Musical is I liked KSt's bra, thanks for not letting NLG strip all the way, and I wonder what kind of bra Jordan wears because she has the best clothes.

[movingtargetgal]

New doctor and the lizard reminded me of Voldemort and his snake Nagini. 

[tvgoddess]

Boobs and lizards...that's what we've come to. If only we could mash that name together and have Dairy Queen blizzards, then I'd be in favor.

 

Honestly, I started hysterically laughing at about the time Nina stripped off her shirt and didn't stop until the end. And especially when the judge referred to her as "young woman". Oh judge, you're adorable.

 

I guess the reason that ME got the lizard is that he's going to play the same. exact. character. yet. again. So they needed something to stand out. Not surprising at all, it's actually comforting that he never loses his flat monotone voice. Like Sonny being a complete ass for the rest of time.

 

Dr. Cranky needs to get together with the Mayor. I can't imagine any two people better suited for each other.

 

I'm completely all caught up now, and that includes all the episodes I had backlogged from January (almost three weeks worth). God, that was some bad stuff. I feel like I need a reward of some kind. Give me that $1000 from Crimson, I've earned it by slogging through all this crap.

Edited March 22, 2016 by tvgoddess

[Chairperson Meow]

I also like Lizard's pot belly. He's a well fed lizard. I'm glad he's allowed to eat, even if most of the actors aren't. No getting around those Animal Cruelty laws, eh Frank? I also think Dr. Michael Easton and Lizard have more chemistry than I've seen ME have with any other screen partner in forever.

[BlackMamba]

Hamilton Finn comes on with a lizard? Is this suppose to give ME's character personality by any chance.

And lots of tittie action in the courtroom. Remember the good times when Carly shot Tony.. sighs

I'm not watching, but I assume that by "stroking the lizard", that means he and the Nina are mating?

[OnceSane]

I love that the BoobGate judge was Dharma's dad on Dharma & Greg. I knew Larry would never side with the man (Mayor Lomax).

[jsbt]

Thanks, Twitter

 

Edited March 22, 2016 by jsbt

[jsbt]

Also, I clearly need to start watching a little more because this latest Nina/Crimson plotline is the stupidest shit I've ever heard - next to the breastfeeding subplot and Hamilton Finn. Why are the characters doing this? I don't know why I'm amazed that they took a potentially good business story with this dreadful character (Nina) and made it impossibly ridiculous. It's like they're allergic to anything remotely mature or sensible.

 

I mean, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this show? Are they just marking time til cancellation? Michael Easton #4? Crimson Capers? Breastfeeding? Random Pairing of Two New Black Folks (because God forbid they be with the whites)? The Saga of Kiki? This is the kind of shit a soap comes up with when it's just waiting out the axe. Ron's GH was absolutely this bad last year but in a different way - this thing just feels off-brand, like a corpse they're propping up. Like Weekend at Bernie's.

 

Sometimes I get confused when I read a book and then suddenly there are no more pages. 

 

Like this! What the fuck is this? Who would allow this other than people who just don't give a fuck? Amazing!

 

I'll tell you one thing they're clearly passionate about though, judging by the clips I just watched: Franco and Liz! He's in a locker room, he's shirtless, they're arguing after he tells his current girlfriend she doesn't have to worry! That shit is happening and you heard it here first. Insane.

Edited March 22, 2016 by jsbt

[NutmegsDad]

It could be worse. At least he isn't doesn't have a pet walrus like the guy who walks his in downtown Spokane.

 

Sam who wears black bras almost always, should have been in that courtroom scene.

 

 

That courtroom scene forced Laura Wright to wear a bra. That's the closest thing to a unicorn and/or Sonny losing for this show.

 

The chameleon lizard is the new Big Bad.

 

Of note: Monica met the Fifth Doctor Easton in Geneva (as mentioned above) for the effects of *Carbonic Snow* on something or another.

 

WE HAVE CASSADINE/ICE PRINCESS ALLUSION/SHOUTOUT!

 

Oh yeah, Dr. Lizard is the Fifth Easton, unless we consider John as the Prospect Park War Easton.

Edited March 22, 2016 by NutmegsDad

[jsbt]

I can't get over Anna living in the old AMC LA Chandler mansion. It makes me miss Prospect Park's AMC 2.0 that much more. Best soap of the last five or six years at least.

 

If they're remotely sane (ha) the carbonic snow mention was more than a cute nod from whoever wrote yesterday (Chris Van Etten?) and Obvious Alias Hamilton Finn is in fact an obvious alias, for another Cassadine. That would be one of the only things I could imagine making Michael Easton's umpteenth role remotely palatable - keeping him out of scrubs and lab coats, in weird outfits like yesterday's and scheming in the darkness. If we're stuck with him yet again at least tie it deep into the show, have him terrorize the Spencers, etc. And I've said it many times, but not making Laura/Genie Francis the central heart of the show who is involved in a bunch of stories is criminal. DAYS did it with Deidre Hall when they brought her back as Marlena before fumbling the ball for the 300th time and it's what works for a show on life support. They don't do enough with Anna or Tracy in those same roles either.

 

Incidentally, there's two things which could salvage the manic slapstick that is the ongoing Crimson debacle. One is firing and replacing Robert Watkins as Dillion [sic]. The other - have Julian, in desperation over his ridiculous scheme to get rid of the magazine, turn to a proven powerhouse to emerge as Crimson's rival - Lucy. Yes, you heard me, ulkis, it's Lucy! She can launch some sort of magazine/blog/whatever as an accessory of her new cosmetics empire (or revive Deception) and maybe hire Lulu as her major domo, though I'm not sure Lulu is necessarily right for that world anymore. Then we can slowly begin the process of phasing Nina the fuck off the show!

 

So do people still think Paul is a fed? Is that ludicrous inside-out retcon still a thing that is happening? He's still so slimy, but that's par for the course with a character formerly played by Paul Satterfield, who exceled at those types - as does Richard Burgi, who's a far better actor. I just don't know what they want Paul to be. Is the wretched fling with Ava still going on? God, what does she even do.

Edited March 22, 2016 by jsbt

[NutmegsDad]

If they call that lizard Tad Cooper, I will straight up shoot someone Frank Castle style. I super believe in Tad Cooper as much as King Richard did by there is no way GH gets to crib from Galavant.

 

I wouldn't put it past Show to meld Galavant with GH. Singing Moobster would drive me over the edge.

[LeftPhalange]

I just don't know what they want Paul to be. Is the wretched fling with Ava still going on? God, what does she even do.

 

Paul and Ava have stopped humping. For now. What does Ava do? She whines about how hard the thug life is, gets into fights with Sonny over that unnecessary baby, and cry's because her stupid daughter is the latest person to get a cap popped in their ass. And makes faces.