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Episode Discussion: TFGH


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I need Michael to hail his driver, go pick up Sabrina, Dante, Anna, Emma, Mac & Felicia, go find Avery and then get the hell out of Port Charles as both Iran and The Bad Korea launch nuclear weapon in its direction.

Where's the fucking barge?!?

 

I hope that he will not forget Ellie.

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Olivia's story has me incandescent with rage. I don't know why this particular idiocy has me so frothing, but it does. I think it's because the whole story is so all about nothing. Olivia is letting A SERIAL KILLER blackmail her. (Let's not even talk about how that came to be.) Why? Because she can't face telling Julian he's the father of her baby. It's the lowest of low stakes. He's hardly the worst father in PC. 

 

The fact that it's happening because of the most plot point-y plot point that ever plot pointed - Olivia FOR NO SENSIBLE REASON visiting Franco at the nuthouse and whispering her SUPER OMEGA SECRET to him - is what really drives me nuts about this story.

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So the last time we saw Lucy and Duke, they said they were both open to the idea of dating.  But today, they're apparently sleeping together and totally comfortable lounging around in robes.  It's called show, don't tell, and you as a SHOW should know that!  And then, it's all abruptly over as abruptly as it began, with Duke being nudged back towards Anna (complete with a totally Ron misunderstanding re: Sloan) and Lucy saying her heart's still with Kevin (!!!). 

 

This fucking baffles me. This entire pointless relationship was offscreen. There's no excuse. None. Oh, but I should be grateful they're employed!

 

In other news Maxie and Spinelli are honestly the worst people on Earth. Every time I give Maxie another chance she comes back worse than ever - hopping on the closest man when one gets tired of her shit, and then acting like it's everyone else's problem when she casually does something terrible (like get back with Spinelli by default). I do think Bradford Anderson showed a lot more maturity and emotion around EW and I wish they'd just get back together, but I know the show thinks everything Spin has done is adorable and is only interested in playing out Spin/Maxie/Nathan long-term. The character literally regressed into a creepy asshole in a matter of days after we saw him settled, happy and in a good place as an adult with Ellie for the last year-plus.

 

It's easy for us to say they've lost all interest in Silas and I think the writers certainly have, but the fact is they re-signed Michael Easton against all odds to keep pushing this endless, boring "romance" with Ava which ruins her character. I thought they were going to dump him but no, he's locked in again. I feel like they've decided they will never, ever let ME and RH go despite their wild unpopularity, all because of some sick point of pride and principle after Prospect Park denied them.

Edited by jsbt
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Oh wow. Ava is fake dead. Devastating. 

 

STFU Dr. O. You need to have your throat slit.

 

Alexis, Ned, and Olivia should have repeatedly beaten Franco with the nearest blunt object and then thrown his body out on the street to be run over by cars and devoured by animals. 

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The fact that it's happening because of the most plot point-y plot point that ever plot pointed - Olivia FOR NO SENSIBLE REASON visiting Franco at the nuthouse and whispering her SUPER OMEGA SECRET to him - is what really drives me nuts about this story.

 

Yeah, I really think that's what annoys me. And if Julian is so dangerous, couldn't she easily get sole custody? Like she said, she has never-loses other mobster Sonny to rely on. She has her son, the cop. This is so dumb.

 

And it was also dumb because Olivia kept trying to explain today, over and over. Look, writers, you shoulda just had her say "reasons". Because no matter how often Olivia said it, "I felt I had something in common with Franco" still doesn't justify it or make it make any sense.

 

In other news Maxie and Spinelli are honestly the worst people on Earth.

 

If they end up sharing a scene with Morgan and Kiki, it will create another Port charles wormhole.

Edited by ulkis
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Yeah, I really think that's what annoys me. And if Julian is so dangerous, couldn't she easily get sole custody? Like she said, she has never-loses other mobster Sonny to rely on. She has her son, the cop. This is so dumb.

 

And if the show wants us to think that, for some reason, Julian is a more dangerous mobster baby daddy to have than Sonny...they're not really doing a great job of explaining it.

I really want Franco to die (I don't care how; he just needs to be dead) and have the entire city of Port Charles, from the mayor on down, hear the news and give a giant collective "Eh.… "

 

Someone: Scotty, your son died!

 

Scotty: ...yeah, Logan died a couple of years ago, what's your point?

Edited by TeeVee329
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I really want Franco to die (I don't care how; he just needs to be dead) and have the entire city of Port Charles, from the mayor on down, hear the news and give a giant collective "Eh.… "

 

But also! The occasion warrants that dance party in Lulu and Dante's room! And THAT'S why Kiki gets trampled! Everyone's dancing, having a good time, and she starts saying, "but you know, I actually think Franco wasn't that ba-" and then everyone says "NOPE" and starts trampling that.

Edited by ulkis
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Julian is a bit creepy about the pregnancy, but that's because he's not 100 percent convinced Ned is the father. Which is entirely understandable, given how squirrelly Olivia gets whenever Julian mentions the baby. He's never threatened to kill her after she gives birth, never sued her for custody of her uterus, and never locked her in a panic room. He backs off when she tells him to.

 

And Olivia basically grudge-fucked him—she has no moral authority here.

 

The story is terrible on every possible level. 

 

I really want the baby to have a birthmark or something that is so incontrovertibly Jerome that Olivia has no possible way to explain how Ned can be the father. 

Edited by dubbel zout
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Where's the fucking barge?!?

 

Just thinking about it gives me rage blackouts.

 

Olivia's story has me incandescent with rage.

 

I am apoplectic. I'm so blinded by rage that I don't even remember the rest of the show.

 

RAGE BLACKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We're going to need a de-compression deck on the barge.  We'll start with a barware room.  You get all the barware you can throw. Then we'll move on to the nerf bats that Alan and Monica used in that therapy session. 

 

Then therapy.  Your therapist will be named Kevin, no matter what he or she looks like.  It's really a test.  If getting a fake Kevin triggers another rage blackout, you're sent back to the barware room.  If you chuckle at the stupidity of it, you've completed the course and are ready to enjoy the barge. 

 

Finally, when you graduate, you get your drink of choice.  As always, the RNA fans get mai tais.

Edited by Francie
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I really want the baby to have a birthmark or something that is so incontrovertibly Jerome that Olivia has no possible way to explain how Ned can be the father. 

 

Baby comes out dressed in a turtleneck.

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The fact that it's happening because of the most plot point-y plot point that ever plot pointed - Olivia FOR NO SENSIBLE REASON visiting Franco at the nuthouse and whispering her SUPER OMEGA SECRET to him - is what really drives me nuts about this story.

Also known as Ron's 5,841th attempt to make fetch Franco happen. God, make it stop!

Edited by magnolia11
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Also known as Ron's 5,841th attempt to make fetch Franco happen. God, make it stop!

I'm so pissed that the RAPIST, SERIAL KILLER has 11% of Edward Louis Quartermaine's company. If Freakco teams up with Nik to get control of ELQ from the Q's, lasers are going to shoot out of my eyes.

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I really want the baby to have a birthmark or something that is so incontrovertibly Jerome that Olivia has no possible way to explain how Ned can be the father.

Baby comes out dressed in a turtleneck.

 

Baby comes out doing pushups or with a towel around its waist. Or both!

 

I knew you guys would "talk" me down with your hilarious posts.

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I'm so pissed that the RAPIST, SERIAL KILLER has 11% of Edward Louis Quartermaine's company.

 

And then we had Nina (or was it Franco himself?) whining that the Quartermaines had no use for Franco when he was one.  Why the hell would they, he's a SERIAL KILLER who terrorized Jason and got Michael raped, and he was a non-stop asshole to them the whole time he was a Q.

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I maybe wanted Alexis to kiss Michael?

Kiki was deplorable, and I hate when Julian makes me love him less. At least he called Alexis. I, holding out hope that he gives her some sort of heads up. How much longer is it going to take Felix to get that pill tested? Angry drugged Michael is making me sad.

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And this is why I still come here: You hilarious people. Award-worthy snark. GH? Pfft. Rage blackouts are no fun, so no watchey! To see serial killers and other loons triumph is not my idea of a good time.

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STFU Dr. O. You need to have your throat slit.

 

Alexis, Ned, and Olivia should have repeatedly beaten Franco with the nearest blunt object and then thrown his body out on the street to be run over by cars and devoured by animals. 

May I please order LeftPhalange's version of GH? I so prefer it to what's actually happening on-screen. Thanks!

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Oh Chad Duell. What are you doing with your face in these scenes.

I need this story to end ASAP because I really can't deal with watching CD make these faces anymore.

 

I maybe wanted Alexis to kiss Michael?

This is weird. But I'll allow it.

 

This ep was hard to take. Like how did it make me simultaneously bored out of my mind and rage filled? Quite the feat. Great job, RC and co!

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Once upon a time I kinda sorta liked Nina and Franco in the nuthouse, but what little of that I enjoyed is beyond gone.  They're just toxic.  The direction Michael and the Q's are heading in isn't promising either, and the bullshit Fluke crap is never ending.  If it's not apparent, I haven't been very pleased with GH this week.

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I disagree greatly; I see so much of Jason in his performance.  There are little moments, little tics.  Especially in the Carly scenes... Billy Miller is REALLY selling it.  He plays those moments, the conversations with her exactly as Steve Burton did.  It feels totally like Jason.  Right now that's the only area where it feels that way, though, because that's the only similar relationship he has right now.  Jason and Elizabeth were friends, not in this "star-crossed" lovers state.  Jason and Sam were husband and wife.  Jason and Sonny were soulmates.   Etc.   But Jason and Carly were very similar to what Jake and Carly are so Miller is playing Jake's actions and attitudes with her very similarly to Jason and he's doing an outstanding job in my opinion.

BM is a horrible Jason Morgan.  HOR-RI-BLE.  I don't see Jason in him at all.  He comes across as a wannabe Jason Morgan, the guy who puts on the leather jacket and pretends to be the tough guy on the block.  When he's holding a gun or threatening someone, I can't help laughing a bit.  He is not threatening and intimidating in his scenes at all; he does not make eye contact for the most part when he talks to people; he speaks a lot through clenched teeth, which it makes it REALLY difficult to understand what he's saying, and he acts weak.  Additionally, he's a bit of a goof.  How can I take a character seriously who is suppose to be a scary enforcer when he's goofy OR he's so passive that he lets everyone else fight his battles.  That entire scene with Hayden, Elizabeth, and Jake was ridiculous.  The women were doing all the ranting and raving, and Jake is just standing their like a kid.  He seemed to wait to be told what he should do.  Then he goes to live with Hayden at the Metro Court, and he's it's the same thing.  I don't see any passion from him, hence why he's so boring.

 

Jason was never this way.  Jason (or SBu) had chemistry with everyone, male and female.  Jason loathed Ric, and even if he didn't know someone, you knew when he didn't like someone.  Jake?  He acts the same with everyone, the same expression, which is to say - NO expression.  He has no personality.  I can't describe him as a character.  He's not passionate about anything.  He's not intimidating.  He's not particularly sexy as a character either.  I think the main reason RC recast the role of Jason was because Jason had SO many popular pairings, and so he wanted to cash in on those pairings.  The problem is that you can't just stick an actor into a role and think he can capture all that same chemistry.  It's depressing that the Friday cliffhanger is going to revolve around Jake.  Why can't Carly be focused on her sons for longer than an hour?  

 

Por Michael. he is not only being thrown under the bus, it is a double decker one with his name on it.

He really is getting it from all sides.

 

The whole Nina thing was written so that we'd wonder if she stole Avery. So stupid. And I really want someone with some authority to tell Michelle Stafford to knock off the frickin' breathy baby voice. Gah.

She also seems to struggle with the dialogue.  It doesn't flow freely from her, and I just don't see anything worthwhile about the character.  I feel that way about a bunch of characters on GH.

 

So Kiki had no idea that drugging someone with something she didn't even know what it was, that she literally said was like a roofie WAS WRONG?

 

So I guess if someone slipped her the date rape drug, it's not a crime. It's perfectly fine? Is she really that stupid and naive? No way, she and Morgan knew what they were doing was wrong and everything Michael said to her was so true. Her so willing to go along with Morgan handing over Avery on a platter to prove himself and kiss Sonny's ass showed no love for Avery. She didn't care about Avery at all. 

Kiki completely threw Morgan under the bus.  When she told Julian about what they did to Michael, he said "I'm betting it was all Morgan's idea," and she's "Yeah, it was."  Did I miss the part where she protested profusely about wanting to drug Michael or was she high-fiving Morgan and getting giddy with joy at the prospect of their twisted plan?  The writers are setting up Kiki to be the character that is sorry for what happened while Morgan isn't sorry, which is ridiculous.  

 

I also have to laugh that even drugged out of his mind and stressed to the gills, Michael was able to figure out that Kiki probably had a hand in setting him up to lose Avery.  He hasn't figured out that he's being drugged, but he knows that it was a little too convenient how it all went down.  

Edited by Bishop
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Once upon a time I kinda sorta liked Nina and Franco in the nuthouse, but what little of that I enjoyed is beyond gone.  They're just toxic.  The direction Michael and the Q's are heading in isn't promising either, and the bullshit Fluke crap is never ending.  If it's not apparent, I haven't been very pleased with GH this week.

 

Besides Dante getting a smile out of NuOldRocco, and Anna looking good today (and as much as I like to look/watch FH act, the stuff with Sloane is so skeevy), this week has been pretty bad, and not in the "I'm just gonna snark on GH for the sake of snarking" way. I hope they are saving up the big guns for sweeps. Oh, and seeing Ellie was nice.

 

Jason was never this way.  Jason (or SBu) had chemistry with everyone, male and female.  Jason loathed Ric, and even if he didn't know someone, you knew when he didn't like someone.  Jake?  He acts the same with everyone, the same expression, which is to say - NO expression.  He has no personality.  I can't describe him as a character.

 

I'm not a fan of Billy, but the reason I didn't like the character of Jason by the end is because his last couple of years on the show, this is what the character had already devolved into, before BM got here.

 

Jason should just go back into the drink.

 

Why can't Carly be focused on her sons for longer than an hour?

 

Seriously, I find Carly so much more interesting when that's where her focus is.

Edited by ulkis
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I really want the baby to have a birthmark or something that is so incontrovertibly Jerome that Olivia has no possible way to explain how Ned can be the father. 

 

Baby comes out dressed in a turtleneck.

 

Baby comes out doing pushups or with a towel around its waist. Or both!

 

 

And with that inimitable Julian "does this make my butt look fat?  Oh, WHAT am I saying, I look FABULOUS!"

And then Baby starts giving Alexis the eye.....

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Miller does remind me of Jason when he's with Carly, but that's less because of incandescent acting and more because Jason always sort of wore Miller's default expression (bored/confused/annoyed) when he was around Carly.

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Am I the only one who is holding out hope that Ned isn't stupid enough to give away his voting block of ELQ shares. How the hell are shares like bonds-- they belong to whoever is holding them.

 

Why doesnt anyone connected with this show know how things work? They get legal stuff wrong, business stuff wrong, medical stuff wrong.  

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Jason should just go back into the drink.

 

As long as he holds hands with Nina, Franco, Kiki, Morgan, Sonny, Luke, Silas, Olivia, Julian, Dr. O, Magda, and Sabrina (sorry, residual on my end!), and they all form a human chain before diving in? SOLD.

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I'm just talking out of my ass here, because I didn't watch GH until about 1995 and only went back via Youtube and marathons, but I never got the sense that ELQ was this huge company that drove story for the canvas and had great focus. I always got the impression that the Quartermaines often had personal stories - stories about their love lives or long-lost relatives. 

 

Every time in recent years that the show has tried to tell stories about shares or who will work at or control ELQ, I just don't give a damn. It feels like marking time, and the show only seems to care when it can be used to help their pet characters.


This. Like was Silas ever even a real character? At first he was a dick. And, yea, if he took AJ it'd be because he wanted Ava to see her or whatever, it wouldn't be because he wants to kill her or something, so I can believe he'd do it, especially since it'd be a real dumb thing to do and he's proven himself to be an idiot.

 

The closest Silas ever got to characterization was wearing glasses and a hairbun like Agnes Gooch in Mame.

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Sloane rolls the "r" in Rivera but not Carrrrlos? Off with his tongue!

 

So now Liesl is going to blackmail Nina? Zzzzzzzz.

 

Olivia, you suck.

 

I don't know why Silas didn't keep Ava doped up earlier. When I was on chemo, I was popping Ativan daily.

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Oh wow. Ava is fake dead. Devastating. 

 

STFU Dr. O. You need to have your throat slit.

 

Alexis, Ned, and Olivia should have repeatedly beaten Franco with the nearest blunt object and then thrown his body out on the street to be run over by cars and devoured by animals. 

 

Hey leave a bit for me - I want to feed his remains to the piranhas.  Can't happen soon enough!

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I think the show is done trying to make Silas happen.  Which, if that's the case, why not just get rid of him altogether.

 

Short answer: "He was on OLTL!!"

 

Long answer: "He was on OLTL!!! DIE PROSPECT PARK DIE!!! IN YOUR FACE 2 YEARS LATER!!!"

On a side note who did ME and MW piss off to have their characters be such non players in a non storyline?

 

In Maura's case I think it's because they wrote her in a corner and this is their attempt at giving her a way back in.  

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The fact that Sam didn't run away screaming from Silas - an asshole who looked just liked the serial killer vampire who tried to bite her - is beyond me.

It could be argued that being involved with first Sonny and then Jason sucked the life force out of Sam for many years, so some freaky moments with the "vampire" and then meeting his-look-like Silas did little-to-no damage to Sam's psyche.

 

P.S. to boes - I don't know how you did the post above, but it's perfect. LOVE! LOL!

Edited by Bringonthedrama
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I'm not a fan of Billy, but the reason I didn't like the character of Jason by the end is because his last couple of years on the show, this is what the character had already devolved into, before BM got here.

I can agree to an extent, and that may have been why SBu was ready to leave.  Jason was silenced a lot in the last year or so before he left.  It was a lot of Sonny and Carly yelling and screaming all the time and Jason playing referree, and the BS writing with McBain's arrival didn't help. Before that year or so, however, I don't agree.  Jason was a great character that had his own stories, and I loved his relationships with the other characters because he was different with all of them - Michael, Carly, Brenda, Ric, Spinelli, Alan, Sam, etc.  He was different and acted different with every one of them, and I miss that.  BM is pretty much the same with everyone, the same reaction, and the Carly and Jake scenes ARE better, but I give a fair amount of that credit to LW who is animated in her scenes.  

 

BM was grossly miscast.  He would have been a fantastic Dillon Quartermaine.  It is tailor made for him and his personality, but I think RC was in love with the idea of using all of Jason's love interests because RC sure does LOVE his triangles.  So he went with that rather than putting his new actor in a role that was well suited for him.  Instead, he gave him the role that does not fit AT ALL - and it shows.  I can't watch.  I reach for the remote most of the time.  Jake bores me to tears.

Wow, how romantic Duke and Dippy are together.....

Speaking of romance, I am liking Sloane and Anna!  Sorry, but I'm liking them a lot.  They have more chemistry than Anna and Duke, and I did note that Anna called him Kyle there at the end, and she said it sincerely to him, which seemed to effect him in a good way.

 

Tell me guys, if Morgan swapped out Michael's allergy meds, why is he not sneezing anymore?  

 

 

He actually was sneezing yesterday, which is why he took more meds before leaving the Q mansion and heading to the Metro Court.

Edited by Bishop
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I was only sorta paying attention does Julian know the whole bottle of pills were switch so he's taking them still?

I feel like Julian knowing is only happening so Olivia can go "see! Horrible! He let Michael go on taking the pills" when it all comes out.

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I was only sorta paying attention does Julian know the whole bottle of pills were switch so he's taking them still?

I feel like Julian knowing is only happening so Olivia can go "see! Horrible! He let Michael go on taking the pills" when it all comes out.

Probably, but I actually see some nice chemistry between Olivia and Julian.  I'm over Julian and Alexis.

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Why doesnt anyone connected with this show know how things work? They get legal stuff wrong, business stuff wrong, medical stuff wrong.

 

Sadly, I fear that it's not so much because they don't know how things work, but because they've written us viewers off as absolute and complete idiots.

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I hope they are saving up the big guns for sweeps. 

 

Of course they are. We get weeks/months of boring or unwatchable soap and then we get to see RC's sweeps vision - for which he probably won't bother to provide a decent foundation despite having months to do it

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Oh wow. Ava is fake dead. Devastating. 

 

STFU Dr. O. You need to have your throat slit.

 

Alexis, Ned, and Olivia should have repeatedly beaten Franco with the nearest blunt object and then thrown his body out on the street to be run over by cars and devoured by animals. 

 

And this is our Show today, folks.  We got ur red hot Dr. O's, step on up and get some hypocritical babbling while it's hot!  No mention of the baby she stole or her other myriad Nurse Diesel impersonations - NO FRUIT CUP FOR YOU!!  (Cloris Leachman did a much better job).

 

Ava's last moments with Silas were as touching and sincere as Morgan is smart and Kiki is hot.  What I wiped away was NOT a tear. Franco.....could disappear and Show never mention him again and nobody but NOBODY would ask where he was.  Show may keep trying but he's the Titanic - and this time we want it to sink.

 

And Duke and Lucy being as clueless and charmless as ever.  At least - and I do sincerely appreciate it - we didn't have to watch those two in the throes of whatevertheHELL those two would get up to.  I know it would involve a kilt, haggis, a bagpipe and plucked something ,but I do not want the details.

 

I just might have preferred another day of the Town apologiziing to Sonny.  Just kidding!  We know that's coming anyway.

 

The closest Silas ever got to characterization was wearing glasses and a hairbun like Agnes Gooch in Mame.

 

And unlike Agnes, he never had an Auntie Mame, and he never had a night out where he came home and said, "I LIVED.  What do I do NOW?"

Edited by boes
  • Love 4
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The closest Silas ever got to characterization was wearing glasses and a hairbun like Agnes Gooch in Mame.

 

 

And unlike Agnes, he never had an Auntie Mame, and he never had a night out where he came home and said, "I LIVED.  What do I do NOW?"

Because life may be a banquet, but he's the poor sucker who's starving to death.

  • Love 6
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I called it months ago - the sekrit that Dr. O is taunting Nina over is that Nina is Nathan's mother, not her sister.. .and that baby that Nina remembering helping deliver (she went on and on about when she delivered Ava's baby) was her own. Along the way we'll also find out that Kiki is Nina's coma baby... giving her two children will keep her on the show because God knows there's nothing else giving her a reason to sashay around. And yes the show in my head is always much better than the one we see on tv.

 

Speaking of Kiki, all she and Julian need is an evil laugh... or a "plan laugh" as Phoebe Buffay might say.

 

Dear God, please send Sloane someone who will tell him that he's spent too much time tanning.

 

and because it can't be said enough - Free Ellie!

Edited by DayPlayerAtKellys
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Wilbur Cassadine. The long lost sibling of Victor, Stefan, etc. They mentioned him 30 years ago in passing but he'll be brought back to 'please the fans and show our tight attention to history - unless that history involves Wilbur's soul mate and son" (I'm quoting from Ron's twitter feed of course. Of course).

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