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S01.E08: The Cheese Stands Alone


Trini

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The team discovers a terrifying rat infestation when a cargo ship carrying the bloodthirsty rodents washes up off the coast of Massachusetts. Also, unbeknownst to the rest of the team, Mitch reconnects with his terminally ill daughter in Boston as he prepares to make a trade with Reiden-Global to save her life.

 

 

Death-by-rodents should be horrifying; don't disappoint me, show!

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I would have perferred if cute little mice were the killer rodents because rats are disgusting even when they are not going on a killer rampage, but still, more death by animals is wecome in any variety.

Edited by Julie23
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I hope the episode title is indicative of plenty of cheesy, campy shenanigans, but I'd settle for a nursery rhyme reference by Mitch (if he's not too busy with his trite subplot).

 

It better be because all the non-animal attack scenes have been dull.

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Willard! Willard! Willard!

 

Ben, the two of us need look no more,
We both found what we were looking for.
With a friend to call my own,
I'll never be alone, and you, my friend, will see,
You've got a friend in me.
Ben, you're always running here and there,
You feel you're not wanted anywhere.
If you ever look behind and don't like what you find
There's something you should know, you've got a place to go.

 

Rats are intelligent. I don't mind them when they live outside. I object when they try to move into my chimney.

Edited by ennui
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That elevator car full of rats was one of the funniest things so far on this show.  All the rats would have had to pile in through the roof with the door closed, and one of them would have had to press the floor button AFTER the power came back on.

 

The flamethrower CGI with Chloe was abysmally bad, but Chloe looked to be in her element with the bug eyes while she fried the rats. 

 

And the whole rat thing seemed to get resolved way too quickly -- there's no way they killed thousands of rats in the entire hotel.  And whose body was that the rats were eating in the basement -- just a redshirt that was never shown in the episode.  The way they were talking about this big rat queen I was expecting something along the line of Stephen King's 'Graveyard Shift' size of a rat.

 

How did the rats know to go to that hotel -- did they have a reservation ?  Why would they leave that ship when it seemed to be chock full of grain in the containers ?

 

Yes, male rats giving birth to more male rats.  Why not ?  But listening to Jackson trying to justify it is just painful.

 

Of course Xander Berkeley is evil and works for Reiden Global -- and the hansom cab ride from hell was equally silly.  You could tell how the scene was sped up to make it look like the horse was out of control, that's how bad it was. I like how the carriage sped up AFTER the horse disconnected from it.  But the fact that Delavenne (Carl Lumbly) also works for Reiden makes no sense, but you know that Mitch is going to try and go back on the deal.

 

The part with Mitch and his daughter was just so boring.

 

Still no killer zebras.

Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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So the evolution in rats leads to all male population that can turn hermaphrodite and birth their own litters without the bow chica bow wow.  I didn't understand why that was an evolutionary step forward.  I didn't understand how that led to the conclusion that the evolution may not be to save species but destroy ours.  I'm not sure if I should be insulted for my gender.

 

I googled 'gender differences in rats' (yes its come to that).  Males rats are lazier. headpalm.  

 

I think this was all for the 'look at all the rat penises' joke.

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The flamethrower CGI with Chloe was abysmally bad, but Chloe looked to be in her element with the bug eyes while she fried the rats. 

 

Someone on the West Coast needs to watch those scenes closely.  I swear Chole's hand was right at the base of the flame.  I literally did a double take because I thought she had MacGyvered some kind of elaborate hairspray and BIC lighter flamethrower contraption.

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Abraham:  A swarm of rats is one thing, but a swarm of lions, tigers, alligators...

Jamie:  How could we even begin to fight back against something like that?

 

Um...like guns, tanks, bombs, etc.  You know, same thing we use to kill large groups of other people we don't like. 

 

Jackson:  It's been proven that rats who taste human blood begin to crave it.

 

No, it has not.  I think there may have been a typo in that study you read, Jacks.  Rats who taste human food begin to crave it  -- that I'd believe.

 

That elevator car full of rats was one of the funniest things so far on this show. 

 

The Shining meets....

 

The flamethrower CGI with Chloe was abysmally bad, but Chloe looked to be in her element with the bug eyes while she fried the rats.

 

...Aliens.

 

Unoriginal, unrealistic and, yes, cheesy (nod to tongue-in-cheek ep title), but I do enjoy this loopy show!

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Too many rats, too many rats...

 

I love listening to Abe`s voice. He actually makes some of this silly dialogue sound cool. 

 

Chloe finally gets to do something cool. Good for her!

 

Rat Queen sounds like the name of a garage band. 

 

The kid stuff is pretty dull, but that little girl is pretty cute, I have to say. And so is her (soon to be hungry) doggie. 

 

This show is ridiculous, but just so very watchable. 

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The part with Mitch and his daughter was just so boring.

 

I kept thinking that scene must be leading somewhere, but nope it was like watching paint dry.

 

I did enjoy all the rats (and how they were able to manage the elevator).

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That rat queen looked to be the size of a cat.  And I only saw one of them, so where were the rest of the rat queens that were supposed to be nursing all these male pups ?

 

How come the flamethrower didn't set everything else on fire ?  It only seemed to burn the rats -- the plastic buckets were fine.

 

Why oh why did the hansom cab driver bail ?  It wasn't like the cab rounded a corner and he was thrown -- he just leapt off the side leaving his passengers to their own devices. 

 

Am I the only one wondering why there were tables and chairs, an art exhibit, a flower cart and food trucks in the middle of the road normally used by the hansom cab ?  The cab didn't change direction even after the horse bolted free.

 

Even weirder, of those two food trucks, the one with the big dog on the rear, Frencheeze food truck, is a real food truck in New Orleans (where this show is filmed) -- https://www.facebook.com/Freencheeze. 

 

The start to this show keeps getting longer -- a full two minutes of intro and previouslies.  What is this -- Extant ?

Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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The start to this show keeps getting longer -- a full two minutes of intro and previouslies.  What is this -- Extant ?

 

I think Under the Dome already took that Alien storyline.  Here, it's just to take up screen time because all they have are animal attacks.  All the other subplots are boring: Mitch and his family, Raiden/evil corp., etc.

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That elevator car full of rats was one of the funniest things so far on this show.  All the rats would have had to pile in through the roof with the door closed, and one of them would have had to press the floor button AFTER the power came back on.

Rats, now I have to watch. It hasn't started here yet.

Given that I haven't seen it, a common strategy for dealing with a runaway horse is an emergency dismount ... not sure about cab drivers. In the old westerns, the stage driver usually gets shot and falls. Did the driver get shot? No? Hmm.

Edited by ennui
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For me the show was interrupted by the local weather guy warning about rotating clouds, floods, etc. for half an hour, so I had to watch it *cough*byothermeans*cough.* Before I did, I went down to my apartment's truly creepy basement to get everything off of the floor in case of flooding. Heh. Good thing I did it before seeing the show, I guess, although, seriously, when Jackson announced that the place to find the rat's nest was in the basement, I LOL'd because he really might as well have explained his reasoning was based on cheesy horror flicks.

The Shining meets....

...Aliens.

Unoriginal, unrealistic and, yes, cheesy (nod to tongue-in-cheek ep title), but I do enjoy this loopy show!

Yes. I liked this episode, even the kid parts and the reunion with Jackson's middle school crush, but especially Mitch's "Oh Crap" look at the Reiden guy. Was he Chloe's boss, or am I just sounding racist? To be fair, my screen was an iPad mini. I could not see the queen rat at all.

The only actual mention of cheese was when Mitch dissed his ex's culinary skills, right? I think he said the sandwiches had either new cheese or old meat.

Edited by shapeshifter
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Mitch's "Oh Crap" look at the Reiden guy. Was he Chloe's boss, or am I just sounding racist?

To quote Danielle Brooks, "You're not racist: it was him!"

 

I'm kinda bummed he's a bad dude.  Now I wonder if he was hoping the Zoo Croo would all die on one of the jaunts.

 

I decided part of the reason this show is so non-threatening is because it fails on the little things.  The crew never wear any kind of protective gear -- heck, Chloe walks around in stilts and business casual -- the guys sling their backpacks over one should instead of securing them to keep their hands free, and they all stand around expositing at one another in the middle of the danger zone instead of moving to a minimum safe distance.  The last one is probably a budget issue (more camera setups = more $$), but still. Surely they could try not to look completely stupid.

 

This was Nancy Drew's week to complain about every little thing.  I bet she was a spoiled child.  "I want to bring down Reiden, and I want it now now NOW!"

 

Nice to see Xander Berkley!

Edited by DEM
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Too many rats, too many rats...

I love listening to Abe`s voice. He actually makes some of this silly dialogue sound cool.

When Abraham observed "What does make sense since this whole thing began?" I knew he was speaking for the audience!

Vampire rats, but no killer zebras! As raven said last week, Oh, Zoo! Where is the wine?

I like the little girl playing Clem and she has nice rapport with Billy Burke.

But I figured Carl Lumbly Moneybags was going to turn out to be a rival of Reiden Global, not working for them. Ruh-roh!

Edited by Sandman
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The first horse I rode was named Gypsy. She was great. Not at all likely to run off into a tourist café.

 

I was okay until the mother rat thing. Then my eyes rolled.

 

I thought parthenogenesis usually occurred in females, making the males obsolete. The show had it backwards.

 

My film references were Jaws (we can't evacuate, it's tourist season!), and Raiders of the Lost Ark (snakes, and a big torch). 

 

Maybe the writing staff is very young and don't realize they lack originality.

 

I thought I recognized the officer from somewhere -- Mad Men? -- but apparently it's a different actress. I'm having trouble finding all the credits.

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This episode wasn't all that gouda but some bits were edam funny.

 

Wow!  They take pest control seriously, in America!  The exterminators are equipped with flame-throwers that wouldn't have been out of place on the beaches at Normandy!  But I suppose that's good for Chloe, right?

 

Why would a Safari Guide have mad skills at picking locks?  Do they have lots of locks to deal with on the veldt?

 

I'd have said she was much too old for dolls.  But what do I know?

 

Best scene of the show:  Elevator full of rats.  Questions:  Which one pressed the button?  Did the ones at the top squash the ones at the bottom?  Now that the software has been paid for, will we have CGI rats in several episodes to come, like we did with the bats?

 

That one horse accelerated the carriage up to highway speeds.  The food truck shifted like it had been hit by a train!

 

So male rats birth male babies (presumably by 'budding', 'coz the alternative would be really shitty).  But they can't nurse, so a queen has to do the nursing.  But unless the queens have hundreds of teats, there would have to be a queen for each male.  And since only males are being born, the new males would soon outnumber the available queens.  Unless the queens themselves were producing females to become queens to keep up with the growing number of males.  But if so, who is nursing the newborn females, since the queens are tied up nursing the newborn males?

 

New villain: Xander Berkeley, friend of #12, formerly Agent Ben Shaffer.  Does this mean there will now be 11 other guys coming to take vengeance on Scoop McClueless?

 

Jackson Azz and Cop-woman were an item 10 years ago.  When they were 12.  Making them 22 now.  In what, dog-years?

 

Don't know why we spent so much time with Mitch's kid, other than to provide motivation for him betraying the croo. Delavenne (Lumbley) working for RG took me by surprise, and I'm annoyed that it did.  Scoop is going to be real PO'd when she finds out who has been covering her paycheque these last few weeks...

 

 

Still no killer zebras.

 

I'd buy that tee-shirt...

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I can't believe they picked this episode to sideline Mitch with his boring family drama.  Because if there was ever a time to use Billy Burke's "I can't believe I'm seeing this and this is actually being filmed" reactions, it would be the killer rat episode.

 

Really though, the rat stuff was probably the best hilarious cheese this show has done since the days of wolf prison breaks and evil cat trees.  I wasn't sure how they were going to top the opening shot of them evilly swimming to the island, but the rat elevator pulled that off was ease.  Everything about it was perfect: the ding, the door opening and them all just falling out, and our intrepid heroes just standing their like morons.  I just want to know if the designate a certain rat to be the button pusher, or if they all took turns.  Anyway, they instead went even more batshit crazy, by having the rats be mutated so that they are all hermaphrodites, and there be a big ass "queen rat."  Of course, the CGI was shit, so we really didn't get to see all that before Chloe burned her away with that equally horrible CGI flamethrower.  I'm not expecting them to actually give the actress a real flamethrower, but at least put forth some effort, show.

 

Oh, and after meeting Chloe's ex last week, we get to meet Jackson's childhood girlfriend this time, played by Scottie Thompson, as one of the world's most photogenic sheriffs, I have to think.  Although, the way she randomly pushed Jackson/Chloe automatically made her loose cool points.  Why do they look like they "should be dating", Becky?  Because they're good-looking?  You aren't seeing the full picture, like both of them can kind of be jerks to each other.  And that Jackson has way more chemistry with Abe.

 

All the Xander Berkeley stuff was just waiting and seeing, because you just knew that being Xander Berkeley means he is going to be bad on some level.  So, he was Shaffer's boss or something, and is clearly not happy about what happened to him.  Which means, he's got Jaime on his hit list.  In other words, go Xander Berkeley!

 

Jaime obsession with Mitch was getting a bit creepy. I think the show was trying to make it be partially because he had the mother cell, but it really came off like she was his un-trusting girlfriend or something.  All I know is that Abe has will power of steel, to just roll with it, and not tell her to shut up every second.

 

So, after all of Mitch's family crap, he finally meets up with Steven Culp, only to find out (cue drumroll): that Delavenne/Dixon/Carl Lumbly, has been working for Reiden this entire time!  Why?!  I doubt it will make sense, but I can't wait to see how the show tries to explain this twist.

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This episode wasn't all that gouda but some bits were edam funny.

Groan. Netfoot, you must be related to my father or my mother's brother. Still, the episode deserves those puns for not having any actual cheese used (it was peanut butter in the trap) except for maybe in the picnic sandwiches.

Jackson Azz and Cop-woman were an item 10 years ago. When they were 12. Making them 22 now. In what, dog-years?

I know! Maybe it was supposed to be a cute never-tell-a-woman's-age fib because she's an ancient 32 years old? Or maybe it was in zebra or rat years? Or aged cheese years?

I was expecting Xander Berkeley to go all Red John with his Match.com date.

Chloe finally became human when she teased Jackson about his twelve year old love life.

Edited by shapeshifter
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Jackson Azz and Cop-woman were an item 10 years ago.  When they were 12.  Making them 22 now.  In what, dog-years?

 

Glad that I'm not the only one that noticed the problem with the math. How could Jackson possibly be 22?

 

I can't believe they picked this episode to sideline Mitch with his boring family drama.  Because if there was ever a time to use Billy Burke's "I can't believe I'm seeing this and this is actually being filmed" reactions, it would be the killer rat episode...

 

So, after all of Mitch's family crap, he finally meets up with Steven Culp, only to find out (cue drumroll): that Delavenne/Dixon/Carl Lumbly, has been working for Reiden this entire time!  Why?!  I doubt it will make sense, but I can't wait to see how the show tries to explain this twist.

 

I am bored by serious, guilty Mitch. I need to see Billy Burke smirking and wise-cracking his way thru this silliness. James Wolk has been reduced to being the exposition bearer. Our intrepid team of heroes is standing in a dark, abandoned hotel filled with killer rats and he is explaining genetic mutations. (The brief explanation: all of the animals are rapidly mutating to kill all humans now.) How about talking while you run? Abraham is the only character with any charm, thanks to Nonso Anozie.

 

Now Senior Dater will be coming after our clueless reporter...who isn't particularly concerned that she killed someone and usually behaves like a petulant child. This little "twist" concerns me, however, because it is going to divert attention away from killer animals and shift focus back to Scoop.

 

Loved the reveal that Carl Lumbly is working with RG. The "stare down" between him and Mitch was excellent. However, I question why Mitch would go to RG headquarters to hand over the Mother Cell. Wouldn't another secret meet-up be more advisable?

 

Overall, an entertaining episode. Carriage ride from hell was inevitable. Glad to see that New York is finally in the mix. Frenchy Bug-Eyes with her high heels and the fire gun was pure camp. (Where did the fire gun come from? Was it in her shoulder bag?) And I was disappointed that the Rat Queen didn't get more screen time.

Edited by Ellaria Sand
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Frenchy Bug-Eyes with her high heels and the fire gun was pure camp. (Where did the fire gun come from? Was it in her shoulder bag?) And I was disappointed that the Rat Queen didn't get more screen time.

 

The exterminator that was killed by the rats when he poked his head into the hole in the ceiling tiles was packing the flame thrower, and despite not spending a lot of time in the field Chloe knew how to use the flamethrower.

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Still no killer zebras but I must say this outing was a vast improvement over last week's.

 

Elevator riding rats was just glorious. I assume they accessed the elevator by lifting the emergency panel on top then just jumped in, the last ones slided it back in place and then the one fellow near the correct button had to push it with his muzzle. No big deal really. I also imagine the rats listening to some muzak version from Girl from Ipanema during the ride.

 

So male rats birth male babies (presumably by 'budding', 'coz the alternative would be really shitty).  But they can't nurse, so a queen has to do the nursing.  But unless the queens have hundreds of teats, there would have to be a queen for each male.  And since only males are being born, the new males would soon outnumber the available queens.  Unless the queens themselves were producing females to become queens to keep up with the growing number of males.  But if so, who is nursing the newborn females, since the queens are tied up nursing the newborn males?

 

Once they started on the premise that male rats can give birth (although not having an uterus and all the necessary piping) but not nurse (although having teats and male lactaction actually being a thing) I thought baby rats were placed on human bodies to suckle blood! Vampire baby rats! Damn show how could you not go there?

 

Biggest surprise of the show: journo girl knowing about rat kings - apparently that college was better than she thought. I really expected another lecture right there on the staircase in the middle of a supposedly deadly rat attack. But for once the writers left the exposition fairy in her cage.

 

Surprisingly subtle writing: Although I do not really care for Mitch's family drama I appreciate that the girl showed traces of snark - chip from the old block.

 

Abe gets the best lines:

"What does make sense since this whole thing began?"

"Well, being the wise ones we are, we'll do our best - to avoid such an area."

They should hand Nonso Anozie a sledge-hammer to bring down the fourth wall more often.

 

Good twist at the end.

Edited by MissLucas
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Did Mitch even think this through? What incentive does Reiden have to let him go?

 

He doesn't think, he's just been foisted on this boring sick kid drama so he'll get even dumber.

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I think along with The Shining and Alien we should count Ghostbusters among the movie references this week. As soon as I saw the coverall-clad exterminator guy wielding a flamethrower, I started wondering "Who you gonna call?"

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Great recap! Totally agree that a horse stalking the couple in the park would have been much scarier then fast horsey.

This episode lost it from the moment the exterminator walked into and old abandon, I'm guessing wooden, hotel with a flame thrower. WHAT???

I would have thought the entire hotel would have needed to have been burned down to get all the rats. Then, wouldn't they just run out of the burning hotel and find someplace else? If rats will desert a sinking ship, won't they also desert a burning building? Too logical for this show?

Also, only one death show? really? Yet somehow Oz thinks animal are evolving to kill humans? If so, they are not doing it right.

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I too missed about a third to a half of the episode because of storm coverage.   I think mine cut out after the crew entered the hotel and just when the old couple got into the carriage.  It came back just at the aftermath of the carriage ride.  Not too hard to figure out what I missed.  I thought about going to CBS.com to watch, but I don't think I care enough.  The parts I saw were enough.

 

The elevator of rats was glorious.  And I tried and tried, but I couldn't see a rat queen in that teeming mass of rats.  I'm sure it was there, but it just seemed too dark, even on my HD TV.

 

I still don't give a flying fig about Mitch's dying daughter.  Just die already, please.

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I would have thought the entire hotel would have needed to have been burned down to get all the rats. Then, wouldn't they just run out of the burning hotel and find someplace else? If rats will desert a sinking ship, won't they also desert a burning building? Too logical for this show?

 

They would, but apparently not in this series.

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I need to watch this again.  I think I missed a bunch of stuff.  Put Jurassic Park on the list of movie ripoffs.  All the rats are maie?  Just like all the dinos are female.  OR ARE THEY??  

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I like the little girl playing Clem and she has nice rapport with Billy Burke.

I thought so too. 

 

My impression is Mitch and Carl were doing a silent "should I go through with our plan?" "Yes" type of communication.

Their reactions didn't seem to indicate that.  I got the impression that it was genuine surprise from both of them.  However feel free to call me out if you're proven right.

 

Once they started on the premise that male rats can give birth (although not having an uterus and all the necessary piping) but not nurse (although having teats and male lactaction actually being a thing) I thought baby rats were placed on human bodies to suckle blood! Vampire baby rats! Damn show how could you not go there?

Yeah, I'm thinking the show missed an opportunity there as well.  Rats emerging out of a human corpse would've been a nice touch.

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Didn't see last nite yet but couldn't resist reading y'all.  Sounds like fun.  My brother & I used to have a pet rat when I was a kid.  They can be sweet.  I just love critters of all ilk.  Got bats nesting in my chimney here at the shop...Morticia & Gomez...yeah I named them.  I'm a softie.

 

Love Abe and that voice.  I would listen to him read the phone book.

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Their reactions didn't seem to indicate that.  I got the impression that it was genuine surprise from both of them.  However feel free to call me out if you're proven right.

 

I got "genuine surprise" as well. Can't wait to see where this goes. My guess: Mitch will prove to have a conscience and won't make the trade OR will miraculously escape with the drugs AND the Mother Cell. He will then return to our heroes, admit his mistake (there will be a lot of hostility but everyone will forgive him) and then reveal that Carl Lumbly is playing for the other team. Disbelief will ensue but Frenchy will devise a *foolproof* plan.

 

I'm still confused about RG and its actions: RG has created the Mother Cell (unintentionally?) which is a substance - chemical, poison - that is present in everything that they produce. Most animals are exposed thru food. How were the lions exposed to it? Henry the Lab will ingest it thru his meds. Presumably, he will try to kill a family member (probably the poor step-dad). So, the end result is that all species will join together to kill humans. Why now?

 

Yet, RG is producing meds that they claim will cure Clementine of her illness. Do her meds have the Mother Cell properties as well?

Edited by Ellaria Sand
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Glad to see I'm not the only one confused.  My understanding was that Reiden created this Mother Cell which is some kind of chemical that affects animals.  Leo (was that his name?  blond guy who died in the car when Wolf Manson hit him and Irritating Flinty Voiced Reporter Lady) said that this chemical is in every single thing they produce.  

 

Soooooo..... if it's in every thing they produce, they must have mass quantities of it somewhere, or know how to make more.  So why is it so utterly important for Corrupt FBI Guy and Steven Culp and Elderly Match.com Dater to try and get it back from the team?  What I see is this chunk of plasticy looking huge chunk of earwax sealed in a bank teller tube.  Do they not have multiple samples of this thing?  And if it was so important to their plan for global domination, how is it that someone like Leo was able to steal it and hide it in the woods in Alabama?  If it was that important, wouldn't they have been looking for it?  And if it was so difficult for them to figure out who stole it, how is it that a team of bumblers managed to track it down?

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