S01.E06: This Is What It Sounds Like

[Tara Ariano]

Abraham comes to the rescue of Mitch and Chloe after they are kidnapped by a local drug lord while searching for a solution to the bat problem in Rio de Janiero. Meanwhile, Jamie, Jackson and Agent Shaffer team up to track down escaped death-row inmate Evan Lee Hartley, who has stolen evidence against Reiden Global.

[ottoDbusdriver]

That woman in Paris with the bear in her apartment was just ludicrous.  In addition to bears apparently being able to open doors now, this woman was completely oblivious to the sounds of the bear directly behind her.  And then when the bear suddenly appears in the kitchen seconds after she moves to the other side of the island was ridiculous.  Oh, the EMTs claim the bear walked through an open door (who left the door open ?), but no one was asking the key question -- where the fuck did a bear come from in the middle of Paris ?  And why did it just switch to hibernate mode ?

 

Why did Manson-lite's pickup truck show no sign of damage ?  At all.  It hit another car so hard that it rolled it, it should have significant damage and should be barely drivable.

 

How did Manson-lite know to mix a little Mothercell with his own optic nerve fluid and then inject it back into himself -- and that killed him ?  WTF ?  He blathered something to Jackson about Jackson's father doing this to him -- did Papa Oz give him the defiant pupil ?

 

FBI Agent Pete Hill is also a part-time hypnotist.  He must be a blast at parties.  And he killed the optometrist -- why exactly ?  The sexual chemistry between Jamie and FBI Agent Pete Hill/Shaffer came out of nowhere -- so why did Jamie blow dry her hair and throw a dress on if they were going to bang ?  Shouldn't she have just whipped the towel off ?

 

I like when Mitch asked the guard to turn down the music, and Chloe reminds him that the guard doesn't speak English -- but Chloe demonstrated just moments earlier that she speaks Portuguese.  Why didn't she ask the guard to turn down the music ?

 

And Jamie kills FBI Agent Pete Hill/Shaffer for good measure after Shaffer beats up Jackson.  Even if Shaffer was on the take for Reiden Global, Jamie just killed an FBI Agent.

 

When was it discussed by anyone that they would all meet up in D.C. ?

 

All of Mitch's family drama just dragged the episode to a halt. Uggh.

[Free]

All of Mitch's family drama just dragged the episode to a halt. Uggh.

 

When will they learn that this type of melodrama is boring?

 

Even if Shaffer was on the take for Reiden Global, Jamie just killed an FBI Agent.

 

Must be the start of a new trend of getting away with crimes, first The Whispers and now this.

[shapeshifter]

Billy Burke and the lines written for him are making this show for me. Even the family drama goes better with his enunciation and eye contact avoidance with French lady.

In the beginning of the Paris scene I was all: Paris is so pretty--the clothes, the art work, the bear...wait. WTF? The bear? And for a moment it was nicely suspenseful. But like ottoDB pointed out above, she should've heard the bear long before she did. If they really wanted to drag out the attack foreplay, she could have just turned on some music.

I was totally okay with Cub Reporter Girl shooting the fibbie because they totally built up her mission of revenge against Reiden, and, anyway, is he really a fibbie? Even if he is, she shot him with his own gun, which was likely used on the eye doctor.

ETA: Wonder if the authorities will find her prints on fibbie's gun and conclude she shot the eye doctor too--or maybe this plot arc is over. Bigger fish (sharks, anyone?) to fry (jump? chaninsaw?).

Abe was awesomely badass in the favela, of course.

So. No more Animal Manson. RIP.

Edited August 5, 2015 by shapeshifter

[ennui]

Why did Manson-lite's pickup truck show no sign of damage ? At all. It hit another car so hard that it rolled it, it should have significant damage and should be barely drivable.

 

My disclaimer - the episode hasn't aired here yet, but ... I once knew an ex-CIA guy, and he said it's pretty easy to roll another car. You just have to hit it at the right spot.

 

Now I need to watch. :)

[Driad]

 

The 2016 Olympics will be in Rio de Janeiro.  The NPR news quiz show "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" mentioned the controversy over sewage-polluted water that could affect athletes in rowing events etc.  One of the panelists sang "Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from E. Coli comes walking..."

[shapeshifter]

The 2016 Olympics will be in Rio de Janeiro.  The NPR news quiz show "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" mentioned the controversy over sewage-polluted water that could affect athletes in rowing events etc.  One of the panelists sang "Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from E. Coli comes walking..."

I heard that too and was thinking about this show. *Nerd high five*

[ottoDbusdriver]

I guess we will never find out how Manson-lite found Leo and Jamie's location such that he was able to arrange a T-bone collision in advance -- since Manson-lite is now dead, as is Leo.  Plus how did Manson-lite know that Leo and Jamie even had the Mothercell ?

 

Leo mentioned that his GPS was turned on -- since Shaffer was tracking him with it -- but that would mean that Manson-lite knew Leo's cell phone number.  That would imply a prior relationship that was never established.

[Trini]

Abe was awesomely badass in the favela, of course.

 

One of the few highlights of this episode! Even though it was kinda unbelievable.... I mean, is he BATMAN?? (Note: I'm not opposed to him being Batman.  :-) )

 

I can't believe they killed off Charles Animalson just when he was getting more interesting. And then the FBI agent -- what, huh?

 

The entire Rio subplot was a waste of time (except for Abe).

 

Are there even any bears in France??

Edited August 5, 2015 by Trini

[monakane]

 

And why did it just switch to hibernate mode ?

 

Too much wine?

[Free]

I can't believe they killed off Charles Animalson just when he was geting more interesting. And then the FBI agent -- what, huh?

 

Wow, they just got rid of 2 characters just when it seemed like their storylines were going somewhere.

[DEM]

I was shocked that the bear was hibernating, not because it was summer, but because apparently they hadn't sedated it at all.  "We'll just stand around and take measurements on a sleeping bear and trust that it won't wake up. Oh, look at that, it's hibernating! Très bon!"

 

As soon as Nancy Drew kissed FBI Dude I hoped he was a Reiden plant. Got my wish!  As much as I don't like her, though, I hope there were no cameras in that stairwell. I'm surprised to realise that I don't want her to go down for killing a federal agent.

 

Abe was the bright shining hope for humanity, as usual, but I was a bit disappointed that he didn't just come out and tell the Brasilian Government Lady that they had a theory and alternate plan.  I guess having The Authorities involved would have stolen some glory from our scrappy heroes.

 

Someone please reassure me that Loyal Henry the Labrador won't go nuts and threaten dear, sweet Daughter of Billy Burke.  I don't think I could take the schmaltz or the cliche-edness.

Edited August 7, 2015 by DEM

[thuganomics85]

The bear attack was at least back to the "so bad, it's good part" part of the series.  I couldn't stop laughing at the entire thing: especially how that woman didn't even here him walking right behind her!  I mean, he was only a few steps away!  How?!  How is that possible?!!  They didn't even do a cheap excuse, like have her listening to an I-pod or something.  Nope, that bear is just stealthy as hell.  Could make a killing as a assassin, if he didn't go off script and start drinking wine and knocking refrigerators over.  And, I guess I missed the part when she got her phone back, because I'm assuming that's how animal control finally got there.  Man, why am I even trying to figure all this out.  Just go with it...

 

So, Shaffer was bad and part of Reiden all this time.  Not too surprising, I guess.  Anyone who who thinks Jaime is the best certainly is suspicious as hell.  But unless they had solid proof, I really want to know how she and Jackson walked away from shooting him. You would think that would still warrant an investigation.  Or did they just simply skip town, so now some poor guest or hotel worker is just going to stumble upon his body in the stairs.  I hope they registered under fake names at least.

 

At least Jackson and Jaime reclaimed the "mother cell", but I'm surprised they already killed Evan Lee.  It felt like his character was suppose to have some importance to this thing, so now I don't know what to make of it, except Jackson's dad was probably even crazier then expected.

 

Evil drug lord kidnaps Mitch and Chloe and forces them to find some way to get rid of the bats.  They both, of course, can barely stand each other, so spend most of the time arguing, and while both technically had points, I'm still on Team Mitch mainly because Billy Burke seems to find Nora Arnezder's bug-eye acting to be annoying as well.  Seriously, I'm not sure if that was all acting or if he was like "What are you doing, woman?  Could you tone it down a bit, please?"  Anyway, he does manage to pull something out of his ass and finally causes the bats to bail.

 

Oh, and they are easily saved, because Abe basically beats the shit out of everyone, and then gets the evil drug lord at gunpoint. That was easy.  He did an asset from the bats, so maybe he's Batman now.

 

Again, the bear stuff was at least fun, but the entire Rio plot felt useless and they need to get back to what it's good at.  Which is hilariously bad animal attacks.  With respect to the human cast, the animals are the stars here.  Less conspiracy bullshit and more animal carnage, Zoo.

Edited August 5, 2015 by thuganomics85

[Trini]

Oh, and they are easily saved, because Abe basically beats the shit out of everyone, and then gets the evil drug lord at gunpoint. That was easy.  He did an asset from the bats, so maybe he's Batman now.

 

Oh, he DID have an bat assist! Okay, he's officially Batman! (BatAbe? )

[Netfoot]

Well, I'm glad to see a brown bear (AKA Hollywood Grizzly) in the show, because it was time for a new creature of some sort.  But exactly how did Yogi get into the deaf Frenchwoman's apartment?  And where did Yogi come from?  And why did he decide to hibernate?  And how is it the cops or whoever it was didn't shoot him?  And does this mean the team will be in Paris next week?

 

Abe was awesome!  In a totally unbelievable sort of way.

 

From the moment FBI guy was telling Scoop McClueless "Go ahead!  I've got this!" at the optician, I just knew the guy was deader than mutton!  Then he shows up at her door and she's in a towel and he throws out the weakest pickup I've ever seen, and she's all over him!  So she drags him into the room, and... puts her clothes on?!??

 

Wow, they just got rid of 2 characters just when it seemed like their storylines were going somewhere.

 

I think they got rid of them because their storylines were going somewhere.  Can't have the bit players upstaging the leading lights. 

 

But now that they're gone, it begs the question "Why were they introduced in the first place?"   What purpose did FBI guy play in the show?  As an unconfirmed lackey of RG he served to substantiate their involvement and demonstrate how far they'll go to avoid being found responsible.  But I think RG was pretty well implicated already, and their unscrupulousness no secret.  What did Wolf  Manson bring to the story?  Demonstrated that people can have/catch Crazy-eye.  Implicated Azz senior by showing him to be more than a loony-tunes scientist, which I think we knew since the radioactive Japanese research base with the blind horses.  So it's like both of these characters were nothing but a bit of short-term episode-filler, with no more significant effect on the show than bear-woman or the frigid lesbians!

Edited August 5, 2015 by Netfoot

[ennui]

I think if you came home and there was a bear in the house, you would smell it.

 

So, we have a reenactment of the stairwell scene from Casino Royale, and then everyone goes to the airport for drinks. Nice. Was Mathis there to clean up?

[Cigale]

The French woman was "deaf" but also had no sense of smell, cause bears stink a lot!

[wayne67]

I spent most of the episode going "why is the episode not over?"

 

I don't get what they are aiming for with this show. Does the moron gang have a travel expense account but not an incidental expenses budget ? Was it really necessary for the Reporter to shoot that guy 4 times in the chest ? For starters um dead body? Second he may have been FBI. Third they could have interrogated him a little to find out how much he knew about the animal apocalypse. *sigh*

 

Yet again the animal agenda comes across as tepid... So the bear broke into her kitchen and possibly swiped her with a claw and... went to sleep. The bats are hanging about. Oh no, the human race is totally in danger *yawn*.

 

As for the solution with the bats .. WTF? Are they going to set up Oscillators in every city in the region ? Because if not that's a super short term solution. Also won't that drive the dogs crazier ?

 

I don't think this show is camp enough to compensate for the stupidity or dramatic enough to sell the threat. At this point I'm on the animal side simply because the animals don't spend their time psychobabbling at their team members. I mean this in the nicest way French Lady but how about you mind your own business and leave Mitch's family life for those in his family? UGH

 

I think I may just read the forums instead of watching the episodes, just in case something particularly entertaining happens I'll just watch it later... I really don't find offscreen half assed animal attacks a threat to the human population or particularly entertaining.

[Ellaria]

Wow, they just got rid of 2 characters just when it seemed like their storylines were going somewhere.

 

And these two were clearly more interesting then some on the crackerjack team determined to bring down Reiden Global. I'm a little confused about Animal Manson's motivations? Did he engineer the wolf attack so he could break-out of prison, find the Mother Cell and then "convince" an ophthalmologist to perform eye surgery? To what end?

 

This episode was so bad that it was good. The bear in the Parisian apartment was hilarious. She is sipping wine while a grizzly is a few feet away. I was worried that bear had been crushed under the refrigerator. Glad to know that it was an immediate decision to go into hibernation. The animals would rather sleep than be on this show.

 

So, Shaffer was bad and part of Reiden all this time.  Not too surprising, I guess.  Anyone who who thinks Jaime is the best certainly is suspicious as hell.  But unless they had solid proof, I really want to know how she and Jackson walked away from shooting him. You would think that would still warrant an investigation.  Or did they just simply skip town, so now some poor guest or hotel worker is just going to stumble upon his body in the stairs.  I hope they registered under fake names at least...

 

I wish they had kept Evil FBI Guy around a bit longer to frustrate our team. (Has Reiden Global infiltrated the FBI or were his IDs fake and no one ever bothered to check?) The seduction/murder scenes were just silly. Jamie answers her hotel room door dripping wet and in a towel. She throws herself at him and then decides to put clothes on and dry her hair before they hook up. Then there is the battle in the stairwell and Jamie kills him. 

 

No one is concerned about the trail of dead bodies that they are leaving everywhere and that this may draw attention to their covert mission? At some point, Jamie is going to explain that she suspected Hunky FBI Guy to be fraud and that the "towel greeting" was part of her overall plan to trap him. All this because of her sixth sense as an investigative reporter and her previously unknown ability with firearms. 

 

Of course, in the next scene, they show up in the airport lounge in Wash DC. Why did they all meet there? Where are they headed next? Is there a real plan?

 

And does this mean the team will be in Paris next week?...

 

But now that they're gone, it begs the question "Why were they introduced in the first place?"   What purpose did FBI guy play in the show?  As an unconfirmed lackey of RG he served to substantiate their involvement and demonstrate how far they'll go to avoid being found responsible.  But I think RG was pretty well implicated already, and their unscrupulousness no secret.  What did Wolf  Manson bring to the story?  Demonstrated that people can have/catch Crazy-eye.  Implicated Azz senior by showing him to be more than a loony-tunes scientist, which I think we knew since the radioactive Japanese research base with the blind horses.  So it's like both of these characters were nothing but a bit of short-term episode-filler, with no more significant effect on the show than bear-woman or the frigid lesbians!

 

No, it doesn't mean they will be in Paris next week. They never went to Slovenia to meet the Evil Jack Russell. Does anyone (other than the bats) even know that the Antarctic Lesbians are dead? They will sit around in the airport lounge and sip cocktails until someone gets an urgent phone call about another animal attack somewhere in the world. At some point, they will all end up wherever Clementine (Mitch's daughter) lives because they have to save her when Henry the Lab goes wacko.

 

A few other observations:

- What about the deadly pesticide in Rio? It didn't bother the bats but did it harm any other beings as Frenchy Bug-Eyes predicted?

- The Brazilian drug lord was a terrible actor.

- Why did Abraham steal the truck?

- How did they get the Mother Cell thru airport security?

- Is Jackson's dad really dead? When you cast a recognizable actor like Ken Olin and then keep mentioning the character's name, I keep expecting him to turn up at some point and say, "See, I told you so."

[shapeshifter]

Well, I'm glad to see a brown bear (AKA Hollywood Grizzly) in the show, because it was time for a new creature of some sort...

And why did he decide to hibernate?  And how is it the cops or whoever it was didn't shoot him?

He "hibernated" because he drank too much wine, right? They didn't shoot him because they're European--which is not a bad thing.

[ketchuplover]

I missed the show. Did any doves cry? What did it sound like? tyia

[JTMacc99]

This episode was much less boring than the last one, so yay! 

 

I loved the bear in the kitchen. That was a really nice house by they way, just in case that might matter later. Like, maybe the home of an executive at a large multinational corporation or a doctor of some sort. That stove was beautiful.  As for the bear "attack", it sure seemed like it was more into drinking the spilled wine on the counter and getting the food out of the fridge than anything else. I'm okay with that, but the real problem was using an actual trained bear as opposed to a CGI bear.  I would prefer fake looking menacing bear to authentic, picnic basket raiding bear for this show. But either way, it works for me.

 

I'm really hoping that they'll slip in a picture of a French newspaper next week that has a sub-headline: Étapes de patrouille de l'ours jusqu'campagne de bombardement

 

The show already missed out on it's opportunity for the cop to drop a "Book 'em Lou.  One count of being a bear."

 

My moment of the week was federal agent showing up to known location of escaped death row convict BY HIMSELF with no back up.  But I guess I have to be okay with him doing that since he was crooked.  The two dummies with him should have wondered about it I guess, but maybe they just thought he was helping them out.  Secondary moment of the week was, "and I also am a trained hypnotist!"  Heh.

Edited August 5, 2015 by JTMacc99

[MissLucas]

Damn, show! You killed off Geoff Stults! Though he had it coming for a) acting all shifty throughout the episode and b) messing with James Wolk's beautiful face! Who am I kidding? b) alone was enough for annoying journalist to finally do something useful on this show and put a full clip (again bravo) into the guy! (And giving credit where credit is due her ruse to find Wolfmanson was clever.)

 

Bear in Paris: Well bears have slowly arrived in central Europe during the last couple of years. There are bear populations in Italy, Austria, Switzerland and Germany causing all sorts of legal troubles because they don't give a rat's a** about frontiers. But I haven't heard of any bears in France yet. I'm in a generous mood so I'm going to assume it came from a zoo. And I do admire French lady's dedication to her wine cellar - rather try fending off the bear with a cup-cake tin (seriously what was she trying to do with that) than pour some of that priceless Chardonnay through the ventilator slits in the pantry door. She even saw the bear downing the glass of wine she had poured herself Alicia Florrick-like when coming home!

 

Abe finally showing his dark side was good. French spook analyzing Mitch was predictable. But at least I think we've seen the last of those pesky bats.

[Free]

I think they got rid of them because their storylines were going somewhere.  Can't have the bit players upstaging the leading lights.

But now that they're gone, it begs the question "Why were they introduced in the first place?"   What purpose did FBI guy play in the show?  As an unconfirmed lackey of RG he served to substantiate their involvement and demonstrate how far they'll go to avoid being found responsible.  But I think RG was pretty well implicated already, and their unscrupulousness no secret.  What did Wolf  Manson bring to the story?  Demonstrated that people can have/catch Crazy-eye.  Implicated Azz senior by showing him to be more than a loony-tunes scientist, which I think we knew since the radioactive Japanese research base with the blind horses.  So it's like both of these characters were nothing but a bit of short-term episode-filler, with no more significant effect on the show than bear-woman or the frigid lesbians!

 

Yeah, that's what made it so weird.  It seemed like they were set up for their own storylines and then they both just die before it goes anywhere and now we're basically back at the start before these characters were introduced for no good reason at all.

 

And these two were clearly more interesting then some on the crackerjack team determined to bring down Reiden Global. I'm a little confused about Animal Manson's motivations? Did he engineer the wolf attack so he could break-out of prison, find the Mother Cell and then "convince" an ophthalmologist to perform eye surgery? To what end

 

I was wondering what the whole point was, just seems early to start dropping plot points that end before they go anywhere.

Edited August 5, 2015 by Free

[ottoDbusdriver]

Does anyone (other than the bats) even know that the Antarctic Lesbians are dead?

 

Chloe mentioned the Antarctic Lesbians last week, but still have no idea how she found out about them.

[shrewd.buddha]

I was actually surprised when the Girl and Wounded Dog story tied back to AssHat Scientist. So, kudos, show.

 

..But killing an FBI agent seems like a bad thing. Will our heroes be on the run now? 

 

The story of the French Woman who can't hear or smell was comical .. almost unBEARable..  And she hid in the pantry -- where the food is -- but thankfully even the bear got bored before he could finish her. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JTMacc99]

Yeah, that's what made it so weird.  It seemed like they were set up for their own storylines and then they both just die before it goes anywhere and now we're basically back at the start before these characters were introduced for no good reason at all.

They were both introduced to die. That's a good reason. It's just too bad neither died at the hooves of a rampaging yak.

 

The crazy dude's secondary purpose was to let us know that crazy dad was even crazier than we thought.  Agent wears-a-suit-into-the-swamp had a secondary purpose of teaching our team that even the authorities aren't to be trusted.

[DEM]

Funniest moment for me was when the dogs of Rio started howling in response to the high frequency oscillator, and French Chloe asked Billy Burke what was wrong with them.  There was, I swear, like a five minute pause before he answered. I amuse myself by believing that he was considering how to answer "what planet are you from?" without inciting another lecture about hope.

[Primetimer]

A first-timer to Zoo has a few questions for the Croo.

Read the story

[Free]

They were both introduced to die. That's a good reason. It's just too bad neither died at the hooves of a rampaging yak.

 

The crazy dude's secondary purpose was to let us know that crazy dad was even crazier than we thought.  Agent wears-a-suit-into-the-swamp had a secondary purpose of teaching our team that even the authorities aren't to be trusted.

 

Then they should've been 1 off characters instead of trying to do subplots that were never going to amount to much.  As for crazy dad, we already have the team investigating for that, which they could've found out themselves.

[MissLucas]

I missed the show. Did any doves cry? What did it sound like? tyia

We didn't hear any doves cry - however if you listen closely you can hear the sound of people expecting this show to make a modicum of sense grinding their teeth.

[Ohwell]

I had such high hopes for this show.  However, it's so ludicrous that I think the poor bear was sorry he signed up for this and was just looking for some wine to get drunk.   

[Tony]

A bear finding its way into a Parisian apartment is perfectly plausible IMO. I'm surprised we don't hear about bears foraging in people's highrise apartments and knocking over their refrigerators (WTF?) on the news on a daily basis. At least when that happens, we can trap ourselves in our wine pantry and protect ourselves with cupcake tins and sticks.

 

Also, is conducting hypnotherapy sessions routine training for FBI agents nowadays?

 

Between this show and The Whispers, I'm definitely getting my fill of brainless Summer TV.

Edited August 5, 2015 by Tony

[maczero]

I like when Mitch asked the guard to turn down the music, and Chloe reminds him that the guard doesn't speak English -- but Chloe demonstrated just moments earlier that she speaks Portuguese.  Why didn't she ask the guard to turn down the music ?

Two theories on this.  

 

Theory 1:  Chloe is an ass.

Theory 2:  That was Chloe's jam and she didn't want the music turned down.

 

No, it doesn't mean they will be in Paris next week. They never went to Slovenia to meet the Evil Jack Russell. Does anyone (other than the bats) even know that the Antarctic Lesbians are dead? 

Chloe was in Slovenia and saw the site of the attacks.  She also informed the team a couple episodes back about the Antarctic deaths.

 

Funniest moment for me was when the dogs of Rio started howling in response to the high frequency oscillator, and French Chloe asked Billy Burke what was wrong with them.  There was, I swear, like a five minute pause before he answered. I amuse myself by believing that he was considering how to answer "what planet are you from?" without inciting another lecture about hope.

I've been there.  You spend a moment in disbelief about the person's stupidity and then you have to take another moment to come up with a response that doesn't sound condescending.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Here's a  good question -- why wasn't Parisian lady bleeding all over the place from those two wounds on her shoulder and abdomen ?  Parisian woman plugs in her cell phone on a countertop, yet she didn't manage to retrieve it so who called the Police/EMTs/Animal Control ?

 

With Jamie in a towel in the hotel room, we get confirmation that she does have a tattoo of what might be a genie on her left shoulder blade -- a call back to the first episode.  I can't believe it.

 

I like that the news report of the deaths at the optometry office state that murder-suicide has not been "ruled out".  Which kind of makes it sound like Dr. Swinney and Manson-lite might have been lovers.

 

Since Shaffer was the only one with a gun, why didn't he keep firing at Jackson as Jackson followed him down the stairwell -- and shot Jackson in mid air when he leapt towards him ?

 

Good thing Jamie chose a dress appropriate for a chase through the stairwell and not something for the pending sex romp with Shaffer.  And for good measure, she is still wearing her sex dress when she shows up at the airport in D.C.

 

About the fridge in Parisian woman's apartment -- the fridge was tipped over by the bear, and then miraculously righted itself and cleaned up all the contents that spilled as well, only to fall over again.

 

Here's the sequence of events in Paris:

 

Parisian woman comes home, puts her keys by the door, places her purse and her coat on a chair in the living room and proceeds to walk to the kitchen with a bag of groceries WITH A BEAR FOLLOWING HER.  The bear pauses in the foyer long enough so that Parisian woman places her grocery bag of food on the kitchen island next to a bowl of tomatoes, pours herself a glass of white wine after closing the open door to the rear of the house, drinks some white wine, opens the fridge door and removes a colander of green beans that she places next to a whole roasted chicken in a bag that suddenly appeared on the cutting board.  As she goes to get a serving tray for the chicken and green beans, the bear suddenly appears -- the whole chicken has now moved off the cutting board and the colander is now empty (no green beans to be seen).

 

I like that it took until the 2nd roar from the bear for Parisian woman to drop the serving tray.  I'm curious why the bear stopped biting/clawing her after two wounds -- I suppose with the smell of that cooked chicken filling the air of the kitchen, I would have switched to something tastier than raw human flesh.  I'm even more curious why the bear didn't sever her femoral artery like the lions in Zimbabwe.

 

And we're back in the kitchen where the bear has knocked over the bowl of tomatoes on the island, the wine glass has gone missing, the bear hasn't even read her mail yet, the cutting board is now on the floor by the door, there are two rolls of paper towels on the floor along with what looks like some curtains, and there is a metal pot and wooden bowl on the floor also by the door (but not the wooden bowl previously holding the tomatoes or the wooden bowl holding the fruit that was sitting on the counter by the serving tray), as the Parisian woman crawls on her belly to the pantry (yet somehow doesn't leave a blood trail).

 

You can tell that a trainer is leading the bear as some blueberries or grapes roll into the scene that the bear eats and walks to the right.  The metal pot is now back on top of the stove, and the cutting board is now on the floor on the side of the island that Parisian woman just crawled across.  Seriously, why isn't that bear eating the chicken by now ?  As Parisian woman spots her cell phone through the pantry door, the bear is drinking from the wine glass (that suddenly reappeared) that now has red wine in it, and all the tomatoes are now back in the wooden bowl and the mail that was previously strewn over the island is all now properly back in a tray on the island.

 

As Parisian woman tries to block the door with a broom and a muffin tin, the bear knocks over the fridge (and the paper towels are now back on the countertop) but apparently the kitchen island has been removed so that the bear can get out of the way and the fridge can fall with the door open.

 

As the bear wanders around the kitchen, the tomatoes are now back out of the bowl, but still on top of the island, the wine glass is missing again, the tray holding the mail is now on the floor with a couple of pieces of mail but the rest of mail is still on the island where the tray was previously, the colander has been squashed flat (still no sign of the green beans) and the wooden bowl and paper towel rolls are now on the opposite side of the kitchen next to the fridge that has been stood back up by the bear and all the contents replaced.  For some reason, there is now a small box on the floor next to the Parisian woman in the pantry.

 

As Parisian woman tries to get her cell phone with a candle snifter, when the bear hears the cell phone hit the floor you can now see that the grocery bag has moved to the other side of the kitchen island, most of the tomatoes are now on the opposite side of the bowl, the squashed colander is now on the opposite side of the bowl, the paper towel roll and holder is now on the opposite side of the sink, the pot of herbs is also on the opposite side of the sink, the red salt and pepper shakers are on the opposite side of the sink, a cutting board that has 4 little legs has moved to the opposite side of the sink, and the bowl of fruit has now moved about 12 feet to the opposite end of the countertop.  Except, all these little items didn't actually move at all -- the shot has been left-right inverted (you can tell by the cupboards that have no door).  That is pretty weak.  So instead of going towards the pantry door, the bear is filmed really walking away from it.    And despite the bear attacking the pantry door, nothing really happens to Parisian woman and the bear just wanders away.

 

As the policeman tells Parisian woman that it is safe to come out of the pantry, they neglect to mention that the bear is still right there in the kitchen.  And she doesn't even really react to this fact that it's there except to look at it after straightening her jacket.

 

If you are going to have sub-titles, translate the whole thing.  The policeman says something and the sub-title says "I feel confident there are no more bears in the 16th arrondissement."  You toss 'arrondissement' into Google translate and you get 'borough', so why wouldn't the sub-titles include that in the translation ?

 

When Parisian woman exits the pantry, the fridge is now fully tipped over once again, there are lemons on the kitchen island (I guess that fell out of the fridge door), the bag that contained the chicken is still on the island, the countertop around the sink has been trashed including some of the plants in the window sill, and the bear is hibernating peacefully on the kitchen floor.

Edited August 5, 2015 by ottoDbusdriver

[MissLucas]

If you are going to have sub-titles, translate the whole thing.  The policeman says something and the sub-title says "I feel confident there are no more bears in the 16th arrondissement."  You toss 'arrondissement' into Google translate and you get 'borough', so why wouldn't the sub-titles include that in the translation ?

I watch plenty of dubbed and sub-titled tv. I've never seen/heard 'arrondissement' being translated - that's just something you're supposed to know I guess. Like croissant and baguette.

[JTMacc99]

You leave that word in so that we remember we're in Paris.

 

 

We didn't hear any doves cry - however if you listen closely you can hear the sound of people expecting this show to make a modicum of sense grinding their teeth.

Who on earth is still watching this show with the expectations of it making sense? 

 

Bats flew to Antarctica, landed and stayed on solar panels long enough to drain all of the power from a solar battery system, freeze to death a couple of lesbians experiencing relationship issues who were also dressed in full arctic gear, then they flew away perfectly fine, not frozen at all.

 

That happened on this show.

[JTMacc99]

As the policeman tells Parisian woman that it is safe to come out of the pantry, they neglect to mention that the bear is still right there in the kitchen.  And she doesn't even really react to this fact that it's there except to look at it after straightening her jacket.

The least she could have done is say, "I'm sick of these constant bear attacks.  It's like a frickin' country bear jambaroo around here!"

[MisstherealPhoenix]

Zoo, you are starting to lose me.  I want to love the show, but what the fuck is happening?  I need more anlmals in a show called, "Zoo".  If anyone dies, I need them to die by animal!  So sad to lose Charlie McWolferson.  But the joy I can take away from this episode, besides Abe, is Randy the alcoholic bear.  I want to know more.  How does his wife feel?  Does Randy have a record of domestic violence?  Can a show feature him during an AA meeting?

[Ellaria]

Funniest moment for me was when the dogs of Rio started howling in response to the high frequency oscillator, and French Chloe asked Billy Burke what was wrong with them.  There was, I swear, like a five minute pause before he answered. I amuse myself by believing that he was considering how to answer "what planet are you from?" without inciting another lecture about hope.

 

I imagine that Billy Burke is thinking, "why am I on such a stupid show with such ridiculous dialogue." I totally expect him to break the 4th wall at some point.

 

Chloe was in Slovenia and saw the site of the attacks.  She also informed the team a couple episodes back about the Antarctic deaths.

 

Thanks for the reminder - Chloe did go to Slovenia when she was first recruited for this mission. I guess we can assume that one of the higher-ups in that French intelligence (?) network informed her about the Antarctic deaths. However, back to my original point, it doesn't mean that they will jet off to Paris once they finish their cocktails in the DC airport.

 

Rather, there will be another unusual animal uprising. When do the great apes get involved because that could be very interesting? Have the Brentwood cats abandoned their plan to attack the school kids?

[Neurochick]

This show is so stupid it's funny.  If you just listen to the dialog, it sounds dumb and it you watch with the sound down, it looks dumb.

 

Why don't people act like normal humans when faced with a person the size of Abraham.  The guy's five times your size and you want to fight him?  Those guys were so stupid, the bats should have attacked them.  I laughed when there was only one guy left, Abraham's like, "Take me to Silva," and he's like, "okay."  Should have done that in the first place, stupid!

 

If a bear walked in your home, you'd know because it would look a mess, I mean a bear's not exactly a ballet dancer.  So what happened?  He drank too much wine (that cracked me up) and passed out?  

[Julie23]

Thank You ottoDbusdriver for the sequence of events in France. I was noticing something weird with all the stuff in the room but lacked the energy to even care how they fucked it up.

 

I really wish the FBI agent had killed Jamie instead of the other way around. Boo Zoo!

Thank You ottoDbusdriver for the sequence of events in France. I was noticing something weird with all the stuff in the room but lacked the energy to even care how they fucked it up.

 

I really wish the FBI agent had killed Jamie instead of the other way around. Boo Zoo!

[seacliffsal]

Okay, lots of good comments and observations about the bear non-attack. I may be the only one, but I really wanted the bear to just kill that woman. No way that pantry door would stop the bear. I thought the animals were taking revenge on humans...well, now that I think about it-coming in and drinking my wine really would be like a revenge move.

I found this episode super slow and boring. I want to see animals on the attack. They totally build up the 'animals fight back' angle and all we get is a drunk bear and bats that didn't attack anyone. How is this a worldwide immediate crisis?

I really thought the idea of this show was good and that we would get a lot of action. In this episode the show implied that it really is the humans that are killing humans. I really want a show where I can root for the animals, but if they're too busy drinking and taking out power lines, I may have to move on to something else.

[Ohwell]

I think that Billie Burke needed a paycheck but he is embarrassed to be on this show.  I saw Jamie (don't know her real name) on a SyFy B-movie recently, and she was just as bad an actress in that movie.  Have never seen French eye-roller before this show, and hope to never see her again.  

 

The only ones I'm interested in seeing on other shows after this laughably stupid show is over, are Abraham and the FBI square head.

[MissLucas]

 They didn't shoot him because they're European--which is not a bad thing.

Some Europeans do shoot bears - and they don't even wait for them to maul fridges *insert joke about the French and/or Germans*

[Andyourlittledog2]

Thank you for the point by point Parisian bear attack synopsis.  It was even stupider than I thought when I watched the thing.  Weirdly, the most unrealistic thing that kept occurring to me while watching those scenes was the refrigerator.  That was a huge American refrigerator in a Parisiain home. That just bugged me no end. Not that it couldn't happen, but years of watching House Hunters International tells me 'no'.  

 

The other thing that I couldn't believe was the hypnotism scene. Um, she was not hypnotized. At all.  She was led through some memory exercises at the most.  The way she kept opening her eyes and looking at both men and responding to both men in real time -- just no way was she hypnotized.  Did he say that was what he was doing was hypnotism?  I missed it if he did. It would not surprise me if the show purported it was though. It'd fall right in with everything else that makes no sense on this show. 

 

I wanted to love this show. It has all the elements I would totally go for. But it's production and script are so awful it can only be watched as camp at this point.  I'll tune in next week, but I want more animal carnage, dammit. And have no desire to find out about sweet little Clementine, her hero dog, and her estranged father.  I'm sure all the team members have family and friends in danger. I don't need the little blond girl to be the one we are supposed to care about. It's so schmaltzy. 

[Gudzilla]

A first-timer to Zoo has a few questions for the Croo.

We have a New Zoo Revue...er !

 

In regards to Jamie I have to quote the great Will Munny " You sure killed the hell outta that fella today."

 

I noticed when mentioning that Evil corp. was near all the animal attacks Jackson left out the original lion attack. 

[Free]

I think that Billie Burke needed a paycheck but he is embarrassed to be on this show.

 

I would think he'd be used to getting paychecks from bad projects.  :).

[Ohwell]

I would think he'd be used to getting paychecks from bad projects.  :).

Yeah but there's bad--and then there's BAAAAAAD.  This show is the latter. 

[TeapotDiva]

BRAVO, ottoDbusdriver!  [slow clap]  My head was spinning just reading your description of the Paris bear scene!  For actually recording the sequence(s) of events, you deserve the Légion d'honneur!