Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[90PercentGravity]

That sounds entirely intentional.

[photo fox]

Yeah, it's Hardees, and their ads are disgusting, so I'm sure it's intentional.

[Stella MD]

When rafting down a river, wouldn't it make sense to tie your inner tube full of Pepsi to something to prevent it from repeatedly taking off in a random direction? I mean, were you expecting the cooler to paddle itself?

[bilgistic]

What the hell is a cinnamon pulloff? (I mean, besides something you ask for in a seedy massage parlor.)

[theatremouse]

Sounds like cinnamon monkey bread but maybe they can't trademark monkey bread so they called it a "pulloff" because they can, and because they tend to stick with a dirty-toned marketing plan. 

[Sandman87]

Imagine my surprise tonight upon learning that Little Caesar's now serves a pizza with cannibalized cheese. Does that mean that it's recycled from old pizzas that were about to be thrown out? Or maybe their cheese has been eating itself?

 

Or possibly they said "caramelized".

 

My six-year-old niece has the 2014 version of Trouble...It becomes tedious.

Yeah, it's just way too much trouble to play it.

[bilgistic]

So if Jack in the Box sold them, they'd be cinnamon jackoffs?

[Sandman87]

They should come with a free dry-erase whiteboard marker, so you can rub one out too.

[Watcher0363]

Okay I watched the commercial on youtube. At the end they say drizzled with icing. It must have been the look and pattern of the icing along with a drop of icing slowly falling to the plate, that made me think they said gooey stuff. Too much eigthies porn for me. Sorry Hardee's

[St. Claire]

We saw a commercial for the Gerber Grow Up insurance plan during the baseball game the other day, and my mom informed me that a "grow up" is a term for a marijuana farm. I'm such a loser that I have to get pot slang from my mother. Pathetic.

[merylinkid]

I just hate that commercial because the people are clearly too stupid to have children.   "how did you even know where to start?"   Well you see, there is this thing called the "internet" and you can search for information on it.   You can search for "college savings plans" and it will tell you where to start.   Or you can go to your bank and ask since you are looking for a savings plan.   If you don't even know where to start looking for a savings plan in 2014, you are a complete and total moron. The one couple who did know where to start needs to find new friends.

[cynicat]

There's some new dog treat that I keep hearing/seeing that has me baffled.  All I hear is them saying that it's "twisted turds wrapped around a meaty center".  Granted, dogs like to eat shit more than most animals and if given a choice, it would probably be at the top of their treat list, but I'm guessing that's not what they really said.  I still can't figure out what the real word is.  

[Scout Finch]

Although I haven't seen them in a while, the Three Musketeer candy bar ads make my gutter mind snicker: "The more it's whipped, the bigger it gets." I always add an audible "That's what she said."

 

Not sure if this fits in this thread but I find some of the side effects listed in ads for prescription a bit amusing. Chantix, which helps you quit smoking, can cause agitation, hostility, anxiety, anger and aggression. Which would all be immediately alleviated if you would just give them "a fucking cigarette, right NOW!!! 

Edited July 9, 2014 by Scout Finch

[fastiller]

In a perfect world I'd love to hold Creepy EHarmony guy's toes to a flame until he admitted how full of crap his "more chemistry" claim is.  

 

 

Funny, I thought a huge hose was what that guy was trying to show her.

 

Don't get up, I'll kick myself out.

 

 

I know he is full of shit because (if you've heard me tell this story before, just ignore me) in the one month many years ago that I belonged to eHarmony, his "29 Dimensions of Compatibility" matched me, a strict vegetarian, with...(wait for it)...an "avid" hunter.

 

COBALT STARGAZER, that's very funny!

 

HEEBIEJEEBIE & BILGISTIC, I've always thought that eHarmony was wierd; didn't that dude have some rule about  their matches always being of taller men/shorter women combos?  I guess they'd have to find me (almost 6' tall) a very tall man!  Anyway, my brother & sister-in-law met via eHarmony, ten years ago on Sunday.  They're married seven years.  I think they may be one of the few 'successes'.

[SeriousPurrs]

There's some new dog treat that I keep hearing/seeing that has me baffled.  All I hear is them saying that it's "twisted turds wrapped around a meaty center".  Granted, dogs like to eat shit more than most animals and if given a choice, it would probably be at the top of their treat list, but I'm guessing that's not what they really said.  I still can't figure out what the real word is.  

OT but my niece tried to stop her dog from eating her other dogs' poo (though it did keep her yard clean) by sprinkling cayenne pepper. Doggie, of course, thought this made the stuff really yummy.

I haven't seen this commercial yet so can't help with real name.

[RedZoneTuba]

OT but my niece tried to stop her dog from eating her other dogs' poo (though it did keep her yard clean) by sprinkling cayenne pepper. Doggie, of course, thought this made the stuff really yummy.

 

I think that's the recipe for the new burrito on the menu at Taco John.

[Aquarius]

 Granted, dogs like to eat shit more than most animals and if given a choice, it would probably be at the top of their treat list, but I'm guessing that's not what they really said.

 

Thanks so, so much for this.  I needed a laugh like that this morning.

 

I believe they are saying "twists and turns."

[Neurochick]

WTF is going on with that commercial or promo on Discovery for Shark Week?  What's with the douchebag riding two sharks throwing chum in the water as the sharks devour birds, a sailboat and seals and the silly mermaid lovingly holding onto his leg?

 

 

 

http://youtu.be/7o70X8bRlsc

Edited July 9, 2014 by Neurochick

[90PercentGravity]

Discovery used to be my favorite channel. For a long time it was all I watched. But then they apparently decided they only wanted ignorant hicks with tiny penises and even tinier brains as viewers.

[lottiedottie]

When this commercial came out, I was like "Cool! I dig this song!" 

http://www.marketmenot.com/apple-iphone-5s-gigantic-a-big-big-love-commercial/

 

But then when you take into consideration what the lyrics of that song are about...

http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2014/04/25/new_iphone_ad_its_soundtrack_is_about_a_penis.html

 

I'd love to be a fly on the wall of the discussion to pick this song for the ad. Was it deliberate?

[merylinkid]

It is a poke at the SciFi channel for running its Shark Week the last week in July featuring the premiere of Sharknado 2.   

[Rick Kitchen]

Why does having a clear bottom to your juice drink packet mean that you can "now see that there are no artificial colors or preservatives"?

[90PercentGravity]

Because all the GMO in the juice packet will give you super vision?

[lottiedottie]

Why does having a clear bottom to your juice drink packet mean that you can "now see that there are no artificial colors or preservatives"?

I think one of the reasons they did the clear bottom was so you could see whether or not there is mold in it.

http://www.snopes.com/food/warnings/caprisun.asp

Crafty bastards for spinning it to be about no artificial colors or preservatives.

[riley702]

Yeah, we've already had that discussion. I think consensus was we think it's deliberate. 

 

ETA: The topics were things we thought we heard and earworms

Edited July 10, 2014 by riley702

[Watcher0363]

Why does having a clear bottom to your juice drink packet mean that you can "now see that there are no artificial colors or preservatives"?

pourquoi demande pourquoi? 

[riley702]

Because that's what we do here! ;)

[Guest]

It is a poke at the SciFi channel for running its Shark Week the last week in July featuring the premiere of Sharknado 2.   

 

But that makes it make even less sense.  They don't get to poke fun at another network when they showed reruns of Sharknado during their Shark Week last year.

[fastiller]

I just hate that commercial ... ... ...

Don't hold back there, merylinkid.  Tell us how you really feel.

[Neurochick]

It is a poke at the SciFi channel for running its Shark Week the last week in July featuring the premiere of Sharknado 2.   

 

Okay, but if a person doesn't watch SyFy, they wouldn't know what the heck that commercial is about.  I used to watch SyFy but when Being Human ended, that was it for me.

[AntiBeeSpray]

New Cinnamon Pull Offs.   I kid you not, the tagline is "pull one off."   Everyone goes around talking about pulling one off, in the car, at work, in public.   Yeah, that is an image I don't need.

WTF?! O_o That doesn't sound right at all.

[merylinkid]

I didn't say it was an intelligent ad, just the reasoning behind it.

[ShadowSixx]

There's a commercial that makes me scratch my head but not at the commercial itself but one of the women in the commercial. It's about those lifting the sagging skin in your neck so you look younger. A blonde woman is on there and she says, "I'm 56 years old, but nobody needs to know that." Uh you fucking idiot you just told the world your age, so instead of nobody, everybody knows.

[Rick Kitchen]

@AntiBeeSpray - here is the ad

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJru0A4qZc8

[cynicat]

That is totally on purpose.  I think they're hoping it will  go viral like the K-mart "ship my pants" commercial did.

[merylinkid]

yep definitely make fun of SciFi's Shark Week.   The new commercial for Disco's shark week has a shark being caught, then Snuffy the seal crawling out of its followed by a fat guy in swim trunks.   Definitely making fun of Ian Ziering slicing his way out of a shark with a chain saw (don't ask, really please don't ask.)

[Saint TV]

Don't ask? That was an epic scene!

BTW, Guiliana Rancic was born in Italy so no, she's not a born 'Merican and, given her appearance, it seems that she'd rather do anything rather than eat.

[Taylorh2]

Esurance: The ad where the VO said  when you ask other insurance companies how they can say you money they respond with "um or no comment"

 

Why would a insurance agent say "um" or "no comment" when you ask them how you can save money ? I'm pretty sure that if I call any other insurance agent to ask them about different ways that I can save money on my car/home, they won't say um or no comment.

 

That makes no sense at all.

[Guest]

Ford has a commercial that plays like the promo for a Summer blockbuster introducing all their cars.  It comes off like a play on the Fast and the Furious.  The last shot is of a blond guy somewhat back from the camera and a little in shadow.  My reaction was.  Paul Walker.  Too soon.  RIP. 

Edited July 12, 2014 by ParadoxLost

[AltLivia]

There's a commercial for one of those hotel reservation sites - it's a company that used to offer the same features as any. Presently their tagline is "Would you reserve a room if you couldn't see the name until...after you book?" The V.O. even sounds skeptical! The person eventually, laughingly concedes. "I would do that!"

 

I understand really adhering to a budget, but who would do that? And most importantly, why in the world wouldn't they show you the name? I can't help but think it's because they're trying to force people to book in sketchy places. Plus, if you can't see the name, I assume you can't see the address until you book. What if it's very removed from the place you want to be/ the things you want to do? It would change the whole trip!

 

And why would you tout the disadvantage of your service as a selling point? Truly head-scratch-y.

Edited July 12, 2014 by ScullyInApt42

[bilgistic]

Hasn't that always been the entire premise of Priceline?

[Bastet]

I remember a coworker using Priceline obsessively back around 2001, and she got some great deals and was always happy with the airline/hotel/whatever she wound up with.  I'm way too picky a traveler to be surprised like that, though.

[Prevailing Wind]

I have "balance issues" and need to book the "mobility accessible" room, so even for my Road Trips, I've got reservations for every night at a known hotel.  I would never book at a place where I don't know the name.

[theatremouse]

I understand really adhering to a budget, but who would do that? And most importantly, why in the world wouldn't they show you the name?

Many of the web booking travel companies have this as an option. I think it did start with Priceline but basically the gist is "if you want to know exactly where you'll end up, here's the 'regular' rate, or if you don't mind not knowing exactly, here's a lower one." I assume they do it to a certain extent to protect the notion of "published rates" and any kind of matching anyone might ask one to do. They don't want to price match the "secret" rates. It doesn't force you into anything sketchy. You generally specify a general area and a star rating, and can see the average rating from the website's customers, which is also represented in stars but that rating is more like a Yelp result, whereas the "star rating" you select indicates the level of the hotel. So you can see both whether it ought to be a higher end of middle ground hotel AND if people who booked there generally rated it well, all before you book, but all without knowing exactly what hotel it is. The sites in question usually even list of the normal chains that would fall into said category. So it's basically, if you want the Marriott on Main St, you pay $30 more, but if you might be ok with either Marriott, or the Hyatt, or the Crowne Plaza (all also on Main St or around the block) you get the lower rate.

[photo fox]

That's the basic premise behind Hotwire, and I've always been perfectly happy with it. You pick a neighborhood and a number of stars, and the website gives you a price. IIRC, they sell only national chains, so there are no "no tell motels". And since you choose the neighborhood (airport, downtown, etc.) you always end up in the part of the city you want.

The only downside is if you do a loyalty program, you can't guarantee you'll get the chain of your choice.

[riley702]

There is an ad for an upcoming Animal Planet program called Ice Lake Rebels. It's about some survivalist "rebels" living on houseboats way up north in Canada's NorthWest Territory. Apparently, as long as you don't actually live on land, you don't have to pay taxes, etc. 

 

Anyway, they're interviewing one of the  guys, a really excitable guy who at one point exclaims "I know my ____________; do you?" I cannot figure out what he's saying!

Edited July 14, 2014 by riley702

[ShadowSixx]

Those Jared commercials kill me. "He got it at Jared's!" So what?? Who cares?? Especially that one where the husband proposes to that woman on a plane and the stewardess just has to announce it to everyone where he got it from. Then she says "Please return your fiance to her upright position." Ugh. Nosy bitch.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3989yIm4xQ

[mnementh]

That FarmersOnly.Com commercial makes no sense. "City Folks Just Don't Get It" What is it city folks aren't getting? That it's a dating website for farmers only. It's a dating website just like any other dating website, there's is just themed. It's also stupid that cows are wondering about someone's love life.

 

I can kinda understand where they're coming from with that slogan.  It's different living somewhere where you're only able to go grocery shopping once a month (and buying tomato sauce and cream of mushroom soup by the case).  The problem is that the people that are going to be using that site are ones who are involved in farming or ranching which means they are very much tied to the land where they are.  So unless it's going to match me with someone in a thirty mile radius, who I probably would already have found on my own, it's pretty much useless.  Me and my hypothetical herd of cows aren't going to be able to just pack up and move to wherever the person they matched me up with lives.

[bilgistic]

There is an ad for an upcoming Animal Planet program called Ice Lake Rebels. It's about some survivalist "rebels" living on houseboats way up north in Canada's NorthWest Territory. Apparently, as long as you don't actually live on land, you don't have to pay taxes, etc.

Anyway, they're interviewing one of the guys, a really excitable guy who at one point exclaims "I know my ____________; do you? I cannot figure out what he's saying!

I realize this isn't the point, but in my county in NC, USA, one must pay annual property tax on a boat (assessed based upon value) just as one does on a car or house. I guess it's different in Canada?

[photo fox]

It's different in Illinois. ;-) We pay real estate tax, but cars and boats are just an annual license fee (which is the same for everyone, regardless of the value of said vehicle).