Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[proserpina65]

What kind of wine goes with soup?

I noticed this PSA is back in circulation (why does MeTV play so many PSAs?) for the four signs of someone having a stroke (F.A.S.T.): Face drooping; Arms limp; Slurred speach, (OK, so far so good); Time to call a paramedic.

Wait, what?

I think it means if someone with has these symptoms, it's time for YOU to call a paramedic, not for the person suffering from the symptoms to do it.

[pandora spocks]

The Tamiflu commercials always make me scratch my head.  Do some people that have flu also experience giantism?  I always find the flu sufferers using thimble sized cell phones disconcerting. 

[mmecorday]

Now there are Tamiflu commercials with oversize kids suffering from the flu. These commercials look like the weirdest TLC shows I've ever seen.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Um.

 

 

 

I'm the most confused about WTF Janis Joplin's Piece of My Heart has to do with this ad, since Natalie actually runs away from the wedding.

 

The hell?

[CarpeDiem54]

Um.

 

 

I'm the most confused about WTF Janis Joplin's Piece of My Heart has to do with this ad, since Natalie actually runs away from the wedding.

 

The hell?

I hate that ad. She's obviously been screwing around with helicopter guy and didn't have the guts to break it off with her fiance before the wedding. Cowardly bitch. I guess the "piece of her heart" belongs to the guy she's cheating with. I always hope the helicopter crashes.

[Brattinella]

Yeah, the producers never seem to think it through.

[Demented Daisy]

Based upon her "I'm sorry, Dad", I got the impression that it was an arranged marriage, or something along those lines.  And she realized she couldn't do it, so she left.  That's better, in my book, than going ahead with the marriage, being miserable, and getting a divorce.  But mileage varies, of course.

[riley702]

Even if, Daisy, she should have said something before. Especially since she has another dress underneath and a getaway chopper planned. This wasn't a last-minute "oops, I can't go through with it." moment.

[Sandman87]

While you're at it, you need to make a product for the men.  How about a gel to style ear hair? 

Poe's Law has made our mockery obsolete. Expect to see commercials soon for products that take advantage of the newly emerging market for armpit glitter.

[janie jones]

That's kind of an old commercial.  Was "Piece of my Heart" always the song in it?

 

I suppose I could look, but I'm too lazy.

[Demented Daisy]

Even if, Daisy, she should have said something before. Especially since she has another dress underneath and a getaway chopper planned. This wasn't a last-minute "oops, I can't go through with it." moment.

 

How do you know she didn't say something before?   Should she have gone ahead with the wedding?  She can't change her mind?  I'm not convinced she had a getaway chopper planned, or a dress underneath (looked like a slip to me), but okay.  Agree to disagree.

[Prevailing Wind]

Brilinta.  "I take it with a baby aspirin..."

 

Excuse me, but WTF is a baby aspirin?  Aren't we supposed to NOT give kids under 12 aspirin because of the risk of Reye's Syndrome? Why do people keep talking about "baby aspirin" ??

[smittykins]

I thought that "baby aspirin" was repositioned for people who take it daily to prevent heart attacks.

[Ubiquitous]

You may think this is funny, but it fits in the meme. Just remember FACE ARMS SPEECH TIME and you might save a life.

Yeah, but TIME is an action based on the previous three signs! Once you get to SPEECH that's the final sign! Ha ha

That kind of thing always bugged me, like "SUR Restaurant" or an anagram containing itself.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Ubiquitous

[Brattinella]

Brilinta.  "I take it with a baby aspirin..."

 

Excuse me, but WTF is a baby aspirin?  Aren't we supposed to NOT give kids under 12 aspirin because of the risk of Reye's Syndrome? Why do people keep talking about "baby aspirin" ??

 

I used to LOVE baby aspirin!  St. Joseph's Baby Aspirin.  Yummy orange flavor.  We used to get it as kids regularly.  Where did Reye's Syndrome pop-up from?  I don't recall anyone in my neighborhood or school getting sick from them!

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Most importantly, why does the woman put her knife away when she's not even finished chopping her carrot, and why doesn't she wash it first?

I don't know about the latter, but I'd suggest that she was just putting the knife into the block to resharpen it. It's back in her hand before the end of the ad. It doesn't say much for product quality that she could only get through half a carrot before she had to do that. Do the knives dull that easily, or had the block not sharpened it like it was supposed to have done and she needed to try again?

[OSM Mom]

Brilinta. "I take it with a baby aspirin..."

Excuse me, but WTF is a baby aspirin? Aren't we supposed to NOT give kids under 12 aspirin because of the risk of Reye's Syndrome? Why do people keep talking about "baby aspirin" ??

It's 85mg aspirin. That's the dosage that people used to give children.

[proserpina65]

Brilinta.  "I take it with a baby aspirin..."

 

Excuse me, but WTF is a baby aspirin?  Aren't we supposed to NOT give kids under 12 aspirin because of the risk of Reye's Syndrome? Why do people keep talking about "baby aspirin" ??

It wasn't until the early 80s that the Surgeon General issued the warning about aspirin and Reye's Syndrome, which was extremely rare even in the days of giving children aspirin.  People of my generation (children of the late 60s/early 70s) were given low dose aspirin specifically marketed for children - hence 'baby aspirin'  St. Joseph's was one particular brand, and as Bratinella said, they were yummy orange flavor.

[FormerMod-a1]

I remember getting baby aspirin as a kid.  You had to be careful not to give aspirin to kids with a cold so they wouldn't get whooping cough, I think, but otherwise it was fine.  Have they outlawed (wrong word, I know) it all together now?  Even for a sprain or headache or something?

[Rick Kitchen]

It's 85mg aspirin. That's the dosage that people used to give children.

 

81 mg.  I take one every day.

[Prevailing Wind]

I've also heard them referred to as "low-dose aspirin" - which is what they should be calling it, unless they want some idiots (like the LibMut insurance mis-understanders) giving aspirin to their tots.  STOP with the "baby aspirin" nomenclature already.

[Brattinella]

Okay, if there was NO PROBLEM with children taking baby aspirin, WHY IN THE HELL did they say it was linked to diseases?

 

Did they (Heaven FORBID) want to push something ELSE on us, like, say, TYLENOL(that accumulates in the kidneys/liver).  Hmm, did someone in power own large shares of stock in Tylenol?

[ari333]

After having seen the comment about Lady Gaga, I watched carefully during her ad with Tony Bennett, and don't see any case of her being pigeon toed in that ad.

 

Oh RK; Watch again ...and this time look at her feet *snort* Maybe there are different versions of the commercial, shortened, edited differently? Bc it is so obvious to me - Not in every step she takes; but it's there in the ones I've seen.

[frenchtoast]

Okay, if there was NO PROBLEM with children taking baby aspirin, WHY IN THE HELL did they say it was linked to diseases?

 

Did they (Heaven FORBID) want to push something ELSE on us, like, say, TYLENOL(that accumulates in the kidneys/liver).  Hmm, did someone in power own large shares of stock in Tylenol?

Pediatricians do not recommend children with fevers to take aspirin. From the article: "Aspirin should not be used to treat acute febrile viral illness in children. (Strength of Recommendation [sOR]: C, based on case-control studies). Although no causal link has been proven, data from case-control and historic cohort studies demonstrate an association between aspirin use and Reye syndrome. The risk of Reye syndrome decreases with age, becoming extremely rare by the late teenage years. Other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs are effective antipyretics and are not associated with the constellation of symptoms seen in Reye syndrome, which includes nausea, vomiting, headache, excitability, delirium, combativeness, and coma. Aspirin use in children younger than 19 years should be limited to diseases in which aspirin has a proven benefit, such as Kawasaki disease and the juvenile arthritides. (SOR: C, based on expert opinion)."

 

Also, the American Academy of Pediatrics : "Never give aspirin to your child unless your child's doctor tells you it's safe. Aspirin can cause a very serious liver disease called Reye syndrome. This is especially true when given to children with the flu or chickenpox."

 

I was born in 1975 and I remember my mom making that switch. Just like babies used to sleep on their stomachs and now the recommendation is to not do so. (I did not listen to my pediatrician and both my kids slept on their stomachs because I wanted to them actually sleep. But I know it's recommended.) Doctors learn things and apply it and the world changes. The name baby aspirin to refer to a low dose is confusing, but I have not been able to even find aspirin among the children fever reducers--only acetaminophen and ibuprofen. 

 

I have seen some commercials from Bayer trying to persuade people to use aspirin again. It would be better if they were clearer, no doubt.

[OSM Mom]

81 mg. I take one every day.

Thank you for the correction. I don't know why I thought it was 85mg.

[Brattinella]

Well, I was born way before 1975.  My brothers and I all took aspirin our whole lives.  They are still alive and well.  I still take aspirin every day. Do you know they are associating aspirin with ANTI-Alzheimer, it bonds with some enzyme and protects your brain from damage.

[Prevailing Wind]

I was taking a LOT of ibuprofen for years, when I decided no more - all those warnings about cardiac events got to me.  Tylenol combined with the Metformin (for diabetes) to make odd-looking solid waste (and that's as much detail as I'm willing to reveal), so I threw that stuff out and I now take two 325 mg aspirin daily for the arthritic pain.  Yeah, it's probably ripping up my stomach, but I take 'em with food or milk* as a buffer, so I believe it's the lesser of all the analgesic evils**.

 

*This time of year, they go down well with eggnog, but that wreaks havoc with the blood sugar!

 

**Hey!  Great band name = "The Analgesic Evils"

[janie jones]

How do you know she didn't say something before?   Should she have gone ahead with the wedding?  She can't change her mind?  I'm not convinced she had a getaway chopper planned, or a dress underneath (looked like a slip to me), but okay.  Agree to disagree.

I'm not arguing, but I'm curious how we explain her getting in the helicopter if it wasn't prearranged.  Some stranger just happened to have a helicopter and he let her get in, and she wanted to get in?  Unless maybe the helicopter was what she and the husband were planning to leave in instead of a limo or whatever.

 

I don't know about the latter, but I'd suggest that she was just putting the knife into the block to resharpen it. It's back in her hand before the end of the ad. It doesn't say much for product quality that she could only get through half a carrot before she had to do that. Do the knives dull that easily, or had the block not sharpened it like it was supposed to have done and she needed to try again?

That makes sense.  But still.  You don't want to make a habit of shoving grimy knives back into the block.  Shoving an unwashed knife in there mid-chop is no less disgusting than shoving an unwashed knife in there post-chop.

[Bastet]

That's kind of an old commercial.  Was "Piece of my Heart" always the song in it?

 

Yep.  It has always been the only thing I like about it.

[riley702]

Reyes Syndrome was rare but deadly. It damaged the liver, causing a build-up of ammonia in your bloodstream, which makes your brain swell, which can either kill you or cause permanent brain damage. It was rare, but people died from that shit and I took care of them. No need to be cynical of a fake problem for profits. Not that there isn't plenty of that, but not in this case. The ones we saved, we did by putting them into a coma and putting them on a ventilator while we pumped them full of drugs to lower the pressure in their brain (without bottoming out their blood pressure). Turning up the rate on the ventilator makes the pressure go down in your head, too. We monitored all of this via a probe inserted into a hole we drilled in their skull. Fun times. Not. Thankfully, they figured out pretty quickly what the problem was and got the word out. I haven't seen a case in over 20 years.

[Prevailing Wind]

 

I haven't seen a case in over 20 years.

...which reminds me of another thing we used to hear about all the time.  Do people (women) still get Toxic Shock Syndrome?

[Brattinella]

...which reminds me of another thing we used to hear about all the time.  Do people (women) still get Toxic Shock Syndrome?

 

I think that sort of thing was obliterated by removing fragrance from sanitary products.

[smittykins]

I thought it was super-absorbent tampons(like Rely).

ETA: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_shock_syndrome#Rely_tampons

Edited December 4, 2015 by smittykins

[Brattinella]

Thanks.

 

I WAS gonna make a joke about keeping a tampax up your cooch for almost a week, but in the article it mentioned necrotizing fasciitis,  which I have a totally unwanted acquaintance with.  My healthy little brother, 13 months younger than me, contracted that dreadful shit through a bug bite or a zit.  It took him from a strapping healthy man to a corpse on a ventilator in four days (after carving off hunks of him in a vain effort to save his life).

  Maybe I will make a joke later.

Edited December 4, 2015 by Brattinella

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Damn, Brattinella, many, many condolences. :-(

[CarpeDiem54]

Aw, Brattinella, I'm so sorry. :-(

[Brattinella]

I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to harsh your mellows.  It's been a few years, and that one phrase can bring it back up PDQ.

 

Thanks  for your kindness, Cobalt and Carpe; VERY welcomed!

 

Now on to more snark!

[editorgrrl]

A new Polident commercial went younger in casting than normal for dentures. I'm sitting there thinking, 'how did she lose her teeth'? I came to the conclusion that they are advertising for meth heads.

If there is some condition that causes tooth loss at a young age, I apologize. But in fairness, the styling of the actress edged a little towards drug user.

I thought the exact same thing!

[riley702]

I'm so sorry, Brattinella. How traumatizing for everyone involved.

 

...which reminds me of another thing we used to hear about all the time.  Do people (women) still get Toxic Shock Syndrome?

 

I saw one maybe 5-10 years ago and they survived.

[OSM Mom]

The thought of toxic shock syndrome was enough to make me shun tampons. Scared the hell out of me.. No thanks.

[Brattinella]

Thanks, Riley!

 

When TSS came out, it really scared me off tampons, too! 

 

Kinda funny story about another one of my brothers.  He was 5 or 6, maybe.  Digging around in my purse, and said "Why do you have so many toothbrushes?"

 

So, forevermore, they were called toothbrushes.

[riley702]

"Because you never know when you might need one!" LOL I would have been flabbergasted.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Kinda funny story about another one of my brothers.  He was 5 or 6, maybe.  Digging around in my purse, and said "Why do you have so many toothbrushes?"

 

So, forevermore, they were called toothbrushes.

 

True story:

 

Years and years ago, my parents went out to dinner with a guy my dad worked with, and they brought me and my sister along as a treat. Medium-priced place, with tablecloths and such, so we were supposed to be on our best behavior. Halfway through the meal, my sister left the table to go to the restroom, and when she returned she asked our mom if she could have a dime so she could "get a napkin from the machine on the wall". This was back in the late seventies or early eighties, so she couldn't have been much more than seven or eight, but man. I'm laughing just thinking about it.

[Watcher0363]

All I can say about the Natalie Portman commercial is:

 

It is Natalie Portman. It is better to be left at the altar by Natalie Portman, than to never have been to the altar with Natalie Portman. That is of course, assuming you got a little free milk first.

[ivygirl]

Not the intended message... I'm hoping...

Estée Lauder Modern Muse commercial. Kendall Jenner walking down the street to the tune of "Lady Marmalade."

Do people forget the song is about a prostitute?

[Prevailing Wind]

 

Do people forget the song is about a prostitute?

I haven't forgotten. Apparently, Lauder's ad agency has...if they ever knew in the first place.  I'm starting to feel like Alex Trebek during a "triple stumper" - "It was before your time..."

[Watcher0363]

I haven't forgotten. Apparently, Lauder's ad agency has...if they ever knew in the first place.  I'm starting to feel like Alex Trebek during a "triple stumper" - "It was before your time..."

To be fair the Patti Labelle version is strictly about prostitution. However the update Pink, Christina A. and company version is more blank space in nature with a strong hint of we be using you dumb guys, It is the new feminine empowerment movement. I am thinking about starting a line of T-shirt clothing with the tag line "Courtesan Life."

 

Yeah, yeah, aw

We come through with the money and the garter belts

Let 'em know we 'bout that cake, straight out the gate

We independent women, some mistake us for whores

I'm saying, why spend mine when I can spend yours

 

Disagree, well, that's you and I'm sorry

I'ma keep playing these cats out like Atari

Wear high heeled shoes, getting love from the dudes

Four bad ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge

 

Hey sisters, soul sisters

Betta' get that dough sisters

We drink wine with diamonds in the glass

By the case, the meaning of expensive taste

 

Edited December 5, 2015 by Watcher0363

[NYGirl]

The Johnsonville sausage commercial with the guy with a wig claiming he's not grandma..just a drifter.  Everybody laughs and then put him down for a nap.  What's that all about?  I don't get it.

[Aquarius]

The Johnsonville sausage commercial with the guy with a wig claiming he's not grandma..just a drifter.  Everybody laughs and then put him down for a nap.  What's that all about?  I don't get it.

 

I don't either.  Especially since he says, "Really?  I feel like I just woke up."  Is Grandma demented and she just THINKS she's a drifter pretending to be her?  It really makes no sense.

[Rick Kitchen]

The family don't believe the drifter with a wig isn't just crazy old Grandma.  Though Grandpa looks appropriately horrified.