Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[bilgistic]

We also had uncontrolled cigarette sales to minors, red dye #2, lead-based paint, and constant fear of nuclear war.

[pandora spocks]

Reebok is bringing back The Pump.  Yeah, this is a momentous enough occasion to warrant using capital letters.  The Pump assures a better fit for your feet by pressing a button to add more air.  If someone has to inflate or deflate shoes to fit better, this only proves the shopper did a piss-poor job of finding shoes that fit to start.

[cooksdelight]

The GoGurt commercial, the one where the boy is trying to sell a little house to the pack of GoGurt.... it took me 5 or 6 times of watching that to get the point. They are selling the house to the last drop in the tube, to get it to come out.

Maybe kids are quicker than I am on the uptake for that one. :)

[Brattinella]

We also had uncontrolled cigarette sales to minors, red dye #2, lead-based paint, and constant fear of nuclear war.

AND we had Fizzies, Superball, and Silly Putty.

[90PercentGravity]

When I was a kid we gave each other tattoos with rusty nails and ink made out of lead.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

and we drank from the hose and rode bikes without helmets, etc.

 

Of course we survived. Because we're not the ones who died from all that crazy stuff! 

 

But I do agree that at some point you have to acknowledge that you can't protect your kid from every risk, and even more important, you shouldn't

[LoneHaranguer]

 

If someone has to inflate or deflate shoes to fit better, this only proves the shopper did a piss-poor job of finding shoes that fit to start.

Not if you're picky about the fit. Feet generally swell up over the course of a day; that's why they recommend that you not shop for shoes too early.

[Demented Daisy]

Reebok is bringing back The Pump.  Yeah, this is a momentous enough occasion to warrant using capital letters.  The Pump assures a better fit for your feet by pressing a button to add more air.  If someone has to inflate or deflate shoes to fit better, this only proves the shopper did a piss-poor job of finding shoes that fit to start.

 

Or your feet are two different sizes.  Or you have toe issues, so you get a pair of shoes that are big enough in the toes, but too wide for your instep.

 

Lots of (genetic) foot issues in this world.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Or you have toe issues, so you get a pair of shoes that are big enough in the toes, but too wide for your instep.

Not all shoes are proportioned the same. New Balance has a whole section of their web site talking about their different lasts and tell you which of their shoes are made with which one. The catch is that most shoe stores only stock the ones made for average feet. Until a few years ago, I had to buy everything over the net, but a local store has started stocking a meager selection of New Balance and Sketchers that are wider in front. Somebody living near a big city would probably have more luck.

[DeLurker]

I've been repeatedly exposed to the Yoplait commercial shot from the vantage point of the back of the fridge so we can watch the family members grab Yoplait after Yoplait.  Oddly, the yogurt containers are loaded into the fridge mostly with the label facing the back of the fridge yet no one ever checks what type they are grabbing.  And no one ever stands in front of the fridge pondering what they want - they always want yogurt.  Who are these people?  They don't live in my house.

[Moose135]

It all tastes the same, so it doesn't matter which one they grab.

[Sandman87]

Who needs a label when you can just wait for the cow with the French accent to show up and tell you all about it.

[Prevailing Wind]

Who needs a label when you can just wait for the cow with the French accent to show up and tell you all about it.

...and the manly voice.

[bilgistic]

Who needs a label when you can just wait for the cow with the French accent to show up and tell you all about it.

Or the one with the Victoria's Secret body.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

no one ever stands in front of the fridge pondering what they want - they always want yogurt.  Who are these people?  They don't live in my house.

 

Well, considering the whole damn bottom shelf is full of the stuff, no wonder they don't dally. If that's all they buy when they go to the store, there aren't other choices.

[mmecorday]

Kind of like the woman in the Tyson chicken commercials who got tired of trying to please the picky eaters in the family, so now all she ever fixes for dinner is Tyson chicken strips.

[Muffyn]

It all tastes the same, so it doesn't matter which one they grab.

That's my take away too.  They are admitting it is all just sweetened milk snot so grab any of them; they're all the same. 

[Brattinella]

You guys are on a ROLL today!  LMAO!

[Moose135]

Now every time I walk down that aisle in the grocery store I'm going to think "sweetened milk snot..."

[mmecorday]

And whenever someone smells like cookies, I'm just going to assume they work in a Honey Bunches of Oats factory.

[InDueTime]

While waiting for a video to appear, I had the misfortune of seeing this ad on Youtube:

 

Why is this guy that excited to "meet" his gigantic turd?  Why liken the ad to babies being left in public toilets? Disgusting all around, Fiber One. 

Edited September 18, 2015 by InDueTime

[Brattinella]

Oh.My.God.  What a horrible, offensive, disgusting commercial!  GOD I wish I could unsee that and unthink it!  Eesh!

[Judois]

Why did I watch that? I need brain bleach.

[CarpeDiem54]

While waiting for a video to appear, I had the misfortune of seeing this ad on Youtube:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3ZUGxwyGfE

Why is this guy that excited to "meet" his gigantic turd?  Why liken the ad to babies being left in public toilets? Disgusting all around, Fiber One.

OMG! What a disgusting commercial! Why is his wife caressing his shit filled belly? If that guy hadn't taken a dump for almost a month he'd be in the hospital. I was terrified that Cottonelle commando douchebag was going to appear.

[Brattinella]

OMG! What a disgusting commercial! Why is his wife caressing his shit filled belly? If that guy hadn't taken a dump for almost a month he'd be in the hospital. I was terrified that Cottonelle commando douchebag was going to appear.

 

Bwahahaha!  LMAO!

[backformore]

what the hell did I just watch?  Did he just, wait, they're in an airport?  huh? 

[bilgistic]

Well, good for Michael Bolton to be getting some work.

Edited September 19, 2015 by bilgistic

[Muffyn]

Perhaps he is competing to create the world's largest crap or another Bono.

 

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/73vgqz/bono-is-crap

[xaxat]

 

Traveler in airport: Who is this woman headed towards me? I don't know her. . . She's talking to herself! And making weird gestures like there is something in the air! I think I'll slowly walk away. Don't forget to humor her. . must keep smiling. . . 

Edited September 19, 2015 by xaxat

[mojoween]

What am I missing in the UPS Store ad? The proprietor says that her client needed a street address, so she set her up with a mailbox.

Wouldn't her address then be "Cupcake Lady, PO Box 1, Anywhere USA"?

[Brattinella]

I may be mistaken, but I don't think a PO Box qualifies as a street address.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Wouldn't her address then be "Cupcake Lady, PO Box 1, Anywhere USA"?

No, "PO Box" only refers to a box at a post office. Her address would be the address of the UPS store. If she wanted to be more specific, she could add something to specify the box number, like "PMB 1", in the same way you'd include somebody's apartment number. I don't know if you're still allowed to hide that it's just a mailbox; saying something like "Suite 1" used to be common.

[CarpeDiem54]

I may be mistaken, but I don't think a PO Box qualifies as a street address.

I've used the UPS Store and a local shipping company while between actual addresses the past few years. Your address is the shipping company's address with your box number as your apartment number, suite number, unit number, etc.

[mojoween]

See now that all makes sense. You guys should write for the UPS Store ad agency!

[Brattinella]

Right, I know that you can list the street address of a third party shipper, like mailboxes, etc, or the UPS store.  But a PO Box ONLY EVER means it is a box in the US Post Office.  I wasn't disputing that info.

[mmecorday]

I love The Rolling Stones, but this commercial makes no sense:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVNgKgJjiBA

 

First of all, how exactly did the fact that the Stones brought bottles of Jose Cuervo on tour with them in 1972 change rock n' roll? Second, who are all these people? Did the Stones also bring a town of pretty people with them on tour? And last, the song that is used is "Miss You," which wasn't released until 1978.

[CarpeDiem54]

I love The Rolling Stones, but this commercial makes no sense:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVNgKgJjiBA

 

First of all, how exactly did the fact that the Stones brought bottles of Jose Cuervo on tour with them in 1972 change rock n' roll? Second, who are all these people? Did the Stones also bring a town of pretty people with them on tour? And last, the song that is used is "Miss You," which wasn't released until 1978.

Good questions all. The pretty people on the private plane probably look better than the actual scenario - Keith Richards swilling from a bottle on a tour bus. As for how it changed rock and roll and why they didn't use a song from, say, Sticky Fingers I got nothin'.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

And last, the song that is used is "Miss You," which wasn't released until 1978.

I'd guess they used a song they could get cheap, figuring nobody would notice.

[proserpina65]

I don't think I'm going to be in the market for a Bug.A.Salt any time soon. Besides cleaning up the newly deceased bug, there's the salt that I'm imagining has to be cleaned up too.

 

Hmmm . . . I might have to look into that for killing the slugs which won't stay off my front porch.  Yeah, I know, there are probably easier ways to kill them, but this would be fun.

[CoderLady]

Hmmm . . . I might have to look into that for killing the slugs which won't stay off my front porch.  Yeah, I know, there are probably easier ways to kill them, but this would be fun.

 

Shallow dishes of stale beer. It works for snails so it probably also works on slugs.

[Brattinella]

Shallow dishes of stale beer. It works for snails so it probably also works on slugs.

 

Plus, they go with a smile on their (feelers?) face!

[proserpina65]

Shallow dishes of stale beer. It works for snails so it probably also works on slugs.

What is this 'stale beer' of which you speak?

[mmecorday]

Yeah, and I don't understand the term "leftover wine" either. If you still have wine in the bottle, you need to up your game.

 

There's a commercial now for some sexual aid for women who suffer from painful sex due to menopause. The drug apparently has every side effect known to man because after its use is briefly discussed by a cross looking lady with a Louise Brooks hairdo, all you hear is what terrible things it does to your body.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

What is this 'stale beer' of which you speak?

 

If its American beer, you can just leave it out for the ten minutes* it takes for it to go flat, then use that.

 

*very slight exaggeration

[LoneHaranguer]

 

If its American beer, you can just leave it out for the ten minutes* it takes for it to go flat, then use that.

 

*very slight exaggeration

There actually are some good American beers if you look past the mega-brews to the local offerings. Sounds you're talking about something cheap a guest might bring and leave in some odd place after he couldn't stomach finishing it.

[riley702]

Hmmm . . . I might have to look into that for killing the slugs which won't stay off my front porch.  Yeah, I know, there are probably easier ways to kill them, but this would be fun.

 

Shallow dishes of stale beer. It works for snails so it probably also works on slugs.

But then you miss out on the fun of imagining the snails doing the Wicked Witch of the West's "Oh no, I'm melting, melting!" routine.

[sofaslug]

Hmmm . . . I might have to look into that for killing the slugs which won't stay off my front porch. Yeah, I know, there are probably easier ways to kill them, but this would be fun.

Let's lay off the homicidal thoughts towards slugs please.

I don't get the Toaster Strudel ad where mom is whispering about letting her kid enjoy it despite getting a good part of the icing on their face. Then she gushes about how it now has 30% more icing. So, you're psyched about pumping *more* sugar into your kid?

[Jamoche]

Then she gushes about how it now has 30% more icing. So, you're psyched about pumping *more* sugar into your kid?

I was a weird kid - I liked them just fine *without* the icing. That's 30% more trash in the box to me.

[cynicat]

I don't get the Toaster Strudel ad where mom is whispering about letting her kid enjoy it despite getting a good part of the icing on their face.

 

If someone else has pointed this out then I've missed it, and if no one has said anything, then I'm worried about myself: the frosting all over the kid's mouth looks disgustingly pornographic.  Even worse, child pornography. Just me?  Oh god I hope not.

[riley702]

I was a weird kid - I liked them just fine *without* the icing. That's 30% more trash in the box to me.

Me, too. I still haven't forgiven toaster pastries for discontinuing cherry UNfrosted.