S30: Ponderosa

[ProfCrash]

Oh my god, Shirin is so Shirin. I laughed so hard. Lists, lists, lists, crayons, discussion of the game, discussion of what she would have done had she been in control. Hali and Jenn looking like they need a ton more whiskey and some quiet meditation time.

[Wings]

I never doubted that those who did not like her had good reason.  She got a warm reception despite all of them being annoyed with her once she settled in!  Her list of food and recipes was hysterical.  Good luck to the cooks with that one.  

 

Shirin, appreciate that you have a boyfriend who loves you and can afford to buy you expensive food.   

 

She could have asked her boyfriend to send her a letter.  It is not always blood family who writes to them  

 

Will is just an ignorant pinhead.  His rant was nonsense.  Mean but stupid (her favorite word).   

Edited April 30, 2015 by wings707

[ProfCrash]

heheheh Shirin really is comfortable in her own skin and really is used to getting what she wants. It is not a matter of the money she makes but it is also because tech companies cater the desires of their talent in a way that few other industries do. I had friends in college who were really stellar coders and engineers and they used to talk about the job offers they were getting. They were comparing which company had the best message parlors for gods sake. I am sure that Shirin is able to hand off recipes to the cooks in the cafeteria and have every expectation that they will be executed perfectly. She is not only a programmer/engineer (I don't know her exact skill set) but she is an executive.

 

So she is used to being in control and getting what she wants. And I can understand why that control is important to her. She had so little control as a child and dealt with so much crap and had no one to defend her. I can see developing a strong sense of control over everything would be a natural defense mechanism. I say this with no malice but I hope that she sees her behavior and is able to separate out the bullshit response by the herd from the Hali and Jenn and Joe and Max responses and get some more counseling. She is strong, she is smart, she appears to be a good person with a good heart but she is also a really talkative control freak. She is young enough to explore some of that and change her approach a bit which would make her more approachable.

 

Then again she is very successful and has found love and seems to have content while reflecting on the bad so maybe she doesn't feel like she needs to change. But I do think that the Ponderosa behavior is something that is real and she could be addressed.

[cooksdelight]

Was Hali licking out a whipped topping bowl with a butter knife? LOL!!

[Jobiska]

Wow, they sure went overboard with the sentimental tearjerker music whenever Shirin had a talking head about the abuse in her childhood.  If you try to ignore the music and just listen to her words, she's actually pretty matter-of-fact about it and talks about hoping that her telling of her childhood when nobody stood up for her because they didn't want to get involved might make viewers think twice about standing back and letting abuse happen.  

I'm irritated that their heavyhanded editing with the music might make viewers (in general) tune her out because they think she's just playing the victim.  It can be a subtle distinction, but I don't think she is.

And I continue to be impressed by Hali's pipe cleaner crowns and by her empathetic intuition.  Jenn just repeated Shirin's annoying babbling; Hali delved into why Shirin might be so demanding about food etc. (not just that she has that in her current life, but also that now she has something she can control, unlike her childhood).  It reminds me of when she realized mournfully that Nina maybe had wanted to swimming as one of the girls, not be seen as "a mom."

[Wings]

Ponderosa should be good this season, well until Dan or Rodney get there. Rodney might be fine but Dan is going to be an ass.

 

While Hali realized that Will flipped, I don't think that they really know why Will flipped. I know in Hali's interviews she was surprised at what Nina had to say when she was voted out. I don't think that Joe, Jenn or Hali realized how they were perceived by Nina, Will, and Vince.

 

Well now let's think about this.  I think that might be fun.  We will get more videos of their arrival for sure.  I would love to see Dan out numbered.  Could be delicious.  

[cooksdelight]

Dan......sitting at the kid's table in the corner by himself.....while the others eat, laugh, make jokes about him. I'd pay to see that.

[BigRedCheese]

Honestly, as much as I detest Will, and don't like Dan, I really don't want to see them ostracized or made fun of in Ponderosa. Obviously, Shirin probably wouldn't want to hang out with Will, but I hope they can all at least be civil with each other.

[Wings]

heheheh Shirin really is comfortable in her own skin and really is used to getting what she wants. It is not a matter of the money she makes but it is also because tech companies cater the desires of their talent in a way that few other industries do. I had friends in college who were really stellar coders and engineers and they used to talk about the job offers they were getting. They were comparing which company had the best message parlors for gods sake. I am sure that Shirin is able to hand off recipes to the cooks in the cafeteria and have every expectation that they will be executed perfectly. She is not only a programmer/engineer (I don't know her exact skill set) but she is an executive.

 

So she is used to being in control and getting what she wants. And I can understand why that control is important to her. She had so little control as a child and dealt with so much crap and had no one to defend her. I can see developing a strong sense of control over everything would be a natural defense mechanism. I say this with no malice but I hope that she sees her behavior and is able to separate out the bullshit response by the herd from the Hali and Jenn and Joe and Max responses and get some more counseling. She is strong, she is smart, she appears to be a good person with a good heart but she is also a really talkative control freak. She is young enough to explore some of that and change her approach a bit which would make her more approachable.

 

Then again she is very successful and has found love and seems to have content while reflecting on the bad so maybe she doesn't feel like she needs to change. But I do think that the Ponderosa behavior is something that is real and she could be addressed.

 

 

Excellent post!  Applause! 

[ProfCrash]

I hope that Shirin just ignores the assholes when they arrive. Honestly, it is not worth dealing with them and their attitudes. It has to be draining. I don't want to see them beat down or yelled at or made fun of. I just want folks to enjoy their time and respect each others space.

[Special K]

I wonder what kind of pipe-cleaner crown Hali would make for Dan.....

[LadyChatts]

I wonder what kind of pipe-cleaner crown Hali would make for Dan.....

 

I was thinking a jackass would be appropriate, but Hali might be too nice for that.  I wonder if she'll keep making crowns, even for the people she doesn't like.  So far everyone voted off has been her friend and ally in the game.  

 

I don't think that there will be a repeat of the Ponderosa's where Crystal and Cochran were completely ignored.  Jenn and Shirin may gave people the cold shoulder, but I think Joe and Hali will be friendly.  It seems like most of them are getting the bigger picture once people are either voted off, or watching the show at home.

[cooksdelight]

When Shirin was walking off, it looked like she was having pain, as in her feet hurting her, maybe?

OK, so they don't have to make fun of Dan, just give him the cold shoulder. We can make fun of him here.

[JudyObscure]

I was seriously touched by Shirin's description of Mike defending her, how that was why she started to cry, because no man has ever stepped in for her like that before. Mike actually was pretty wonderful at that moment, I hope he finds just the right woman when he gets home.

[KimberStormer]

I don't know how much you can count Ponderosa as a part of the "edit" but that sure sounded like MIKE IS THE WINNER to me.  At the very least, MIKE IS A HERO.

[LadyChatts]

I don't know how much you can count Ponderosa as a part of the "edit" but that sure sounded like MIKE IS THE WINNER to me.  At the very least, MIKE IS A HERO.

 

At least Joe and Hali (I think Jenn might have, too) also mentioned Tyler being a potential threat to win.  So I really think it's going to come down to those 2.  With the edit everyone else is getting, I just can't see how they can win.  Unless they wind up in a final 3 with Dan and Will.  That's the only way I could see Carolyn or Sierra pulling off a win anyway.

Edited April 30, 2015 by LadyChatts

[Special K]

I don't know how much you can count Ponderosa as a part of the "edit" but that sure sounded like MIKE IS THE WINNER to me.  At the very least, MIKE IS A HERO.

 

Even more: Mike is the only hero out here.

[scowl]

Shirin can afford to buy expensive food for her boyfriend. She is a senior director of product development at Yahoo!; before Yahoo!, she was the product manager at Google in charge of the design and launch of Google Calendar. I'd guess Shirin and her boyfriend take turns treating each other.

I'm confused. I heard from a good authority that absolutely no one in the United States cared about her.

[Wings]

I'm confused. I heard from a good authority that absolutely no one in the United States cared about her.

 

 

Ha ha ha ha!  

 

But seriously I did hear some out of her own mouth.  I have no family, I have no one.  And when I heard her talk about her boyfriend and good friends I was taken aback.  

 

I can see why she was not well liked; I am getting glimpses.  But she comes nowhere near Will and Dan when it comes to annoying castaways!  

 

I have said this before and I promise not to mention it again (maybe), it is time for her to stop presenting her abuse story first.  Deal with that privately and gather your wits and be the person your employer hired because you are skilled, smart and accomplished.  That means more than your fractured family.  You survived all of that to land a life happier than I think you are showing to us.  Bask in the good stuff!  

 

disclaimer: victim mentality drives me more crazy that the Dans of this world.  

 

slinks off

Edited April 30, 2015 by wings707

[Zuleikha]

I don't recall Shirin ever saying she had no one, and she received a letter from her boyfriend when they all purchased their loved one letters so there shouldn't be anything surprising about his existence. 

 

it is time for her to stop presenting her abuse story first.

She doesn't, as far as we know. It came up because of Will's harangue of her, and she presented it as an explanation/argument rather than an excuse. It wasn't "I can't help behaving like this because I was traumatized by domestic abuse." It was "you're mocking me for having no family, but the reason I have no family is because my family was abusive." 

 

She's been talking about her history now on social networking to use her new found platform for survivor advocacy. That is the opposite of displaying a victim mentality.

[peachmangosteen]

Shirin really is comfortable in her own skin and really is used to getting what she wants.

 

And good for her! I wish I could be that comfortable in my own skin even in the face of such awful personal attacks and no one caring to stand up for me.

 

Was Hali licking out a whipped topping bowl with a butter knife? LOL!!

 

I saw that! I quite literally LOLed. I thought it was ice cream though.

 

She's been talking about her history now on social networking to use her new found platform for survivor advocacy. That is the opposite of displaying a victim mentality.

 

This. If I hear one more person saying she has a victim mentality or is 'playing the victim' I'm gonna lose my damn mind.

Edited April 30, 2015 by peachmangosteen

[Wings]

I missed that she received a letter from her boyfriend.  Thanks.  How did Will know that she had a history of abuse and no family? 

[scowl]

So she could have told the unemployed actor screaming at her that she has a boyfriend and a kick ass job. That would have shut him up. The one time she should have talked her mouth off is the one time she clammed up.

 

I know generally in Survivor it's best to let others freak out freely since freak-outs usually make the person a target, but not with the assholes on this season. I'm surprised they didn't start applauding like they did in TC this week. 

Edited April 30, 2015 by scowl

[Zuleikha]

How did Will know that she had a history of abuse and no family?

They'd been playing Survivor for weeks. Of course, family relationships would have been talked about. I'm not 100% sure Will did know she had a history of abuse--I couldn't tell from TC if she was saying it for the first time or not--but I would think it odd if he didn't know that she was estranged. There had probably been conversations about who would show up if there was a family visit challenge, who would write for loved one letters, who they were missing.  

[Wings]

 

This. If I hear one more person saying she has a victim mentality or is 'playing the victim' I'm gonna lose my damn mind.

 

 

I enjoy your mind, peach!  I will never mention the word victim again!   

[ByaNose]

In general, I think Shirin just annoys people. I was surprised that both Jenn & Hali were very vocal about Shirin at Ponderosa. Of course, Shirin being an annoying person most probably drove the guys nuts. Unfortunately, both Dan & Will (and, a lesser extent Rodney & Jouqin) are just awful guys who aren't nice to woman and who made themselves even worse looking. I'm glad this season showed their true colors. I do wonder who will upset the (Ponderosa) apple cart next week?! Right now, everyone is happy and having fun but the next guest could potentially put a big damper on it. If it's Sierra they might have another 3 days of fun. After that, the pickings are slim at Ponderosa.

[cooksdelight]

A person like Shirin who is usually talking her ass off because of her insecurities isn't going to brag to Will when he starts in on her. She will shut down, just as she did, because that's learned behavior when someone starts going off on you. She may have even been afraid he'd throw something at her, or worse, as he was getting very close physically with his yelling.

[peachmangosteen]

I enjoy your mind, peach!  I will never mention the word victim again!   

 

Aw, thanks! I honestly more meant the people on the show that continue to act as if they're totes good people and Shirin is a devil woman who loves playing the victim. The phrases 'playing the victim' and 'victim mentality' just rile me up in general.

 

I understand that Shirin is an annoying person to many people and I can easily get the reasons why, but when it comes from people like Tyler, Carolyn, Joaquin, Will, Rodney, and Dan I find it hard to understand since, ya know, they seem to like each other just fine when they're all annoying as hell themselves. And in some cases deplorable, sexist dicks.

Edited April 30, 2015 by peachmangosteen

[SlackerInc]

In general, I think Shirin just annoys people. 

 

Except for her boyfriend and the people she has worked with at Google and Yahoo that have made her a successful executive.

 

I said it in her thread: I think she annoys the kind of mainstream hoi polloi that she would never hang out with IRL anyway.

[Wings]

It seems clear that Sierra will be next.  That is enough of a group, who get along, that the arrival of others will be mitigated.  When Ponderosa fills up people who have bonded hang out together and don't pay much attention to those they don't like. Joe will be friendly to all.  

[ProfCrash]

SlackerInc: I agree with you. 100%. In real life you need a few good friends who get you and support from people who love you. Many people are blessed with families that provide that support but a good number of folks, like Shirin, don't. I think you are right, the people she pissed off she would not hang out with in real life.

 

The problem, in this context, is that she applied to be on a show were she was going to have to hang out with lots of people who she would not be hanging with in real life. I have no problem that with Shirin's decision to be herself and not adjust her behavior to conform with what others wanted. That is her call. I don't think the end result of that should be the bullying and abuse that she was subjected to. In a perfect world, Shirin is herself and the others ignore her and the result is that she is socially dead in the game. In the world we live in, Shirin is herself and the mob mentality from a group of people who she would never hang with, nor would she have to change her personality for, turned into harassers. It was very predictable what would happen.

 

I love Hali and Jenn. Their interviews about Shirin at Ponderosa were perfect. They were essentially saying Shirin is being Shirin and they mostly find it humorous. There are some eye rolls and some exasperation but they seem cool with Shirin being Shirin. They also have their own rooms to go to and things that they can do that give them a break from Shirin. Honestly, their responses in Ponderosa are similar to their talking heads. There was the same exasperation but I think the ability to walk away from her when they have had their full explains why there is less "she is so annoying" in the video then there was in the talking heads.

[Wings]

I agree and excellent post, ProCrash.  clap clap clap clap!  

[scowl]

A person like Shirin who is usually talking her ass off because of her insecurities isn't going to brag to Will when he starts in on her. She will shut down, just as she did, because that's learned behavior when someone starts going off on you. 

I never learned this behavior. The behavior I learned was that bullies count on you passively taking their abuse and that they'll quickly find another target when you don't. Even walking away is sometimes enough to disappoint them. Unfortunately Shirin did exactly what Will wanted: nothing.

[riley702]

Children of abusive parents can react in very different ways.

 

My mother's father was an abusive alcoholic. Her older sister stood up to him and got knocked around along with their mother. Her younger sister acted out and got knocked around as well. My Mom became the placater, the perfect child who never attracted his attention when he was angry. Every payday when he came home drunk, my Mom would either sleep on the floor under the bed or in the closet so he wouldn't see her. She still (at the age of 79) tenses up when voices are raised and tries to calm everyone down. Knowing what she went through, I can't say she's wrong. It's not how I would (think I would) react, but I can understand why she is the way she is.

Edited May 4, 2015 by riley702

[cooker30]

Was Hali licking out a whipped topping bowl with a butter knife? LOL!!

I thought it was ice cream but whatever it was she was definitely a knife and it cracked me up too! I've done similar things in my youth but only after indulging in a certain less-than-legal substance;) Maybe they found some of the green stuff growing wild behind the Ponderosa. OMG can you imagine Shirin high?????!!!

[cooker30]

I love Hali and Jenn. Their interviews about Shirin at Ponderosa were perfect. They were essentially saying Shirin is being Shirin and they mostly find it humorous. There are some eye rolls and some exasperation but they seem cool with Shirin being Shirin. They also have their own rooms to go to and things that they can do that give them a break from Shirin. Honestly, their responses in Ponderosa are similar to their talking heads. There was the same exasperation but I think the ability to walk away from her when they have had their full explains why there is less "she is so annoying" in the video then there was in the talking heads.

I totally agree. I was thinking that they've gotte to the point where they could tell her to "zip it" and still love her. And I think/hope Shirin has gotten to the point where she could hear that from them and know that they still love her anyway.

Something else just dawned on me. Will exploded AFTER they sat in a group reading their letters so he knew Shirin has a boyfriend. Somehow that makes his "no one loves you" rant makes me even madder. Why do I suspect that he made a "your bf is only with you for the money" comment that we didn't see?

[pennben]

 

I totally agree. I was thinking that they've gotte to the point where they could tell her to "zip it" and still love her. And I think/hope Shirin has gotten to the point where she could hear that from them and know that they still love her anyway.

 

I agree with this so much!

[riley702]

I thought it was ice cream but whatever it was she was definitely a knife and it cracked me up too! I've done similar things in my youth but only after indulging in a certain less-than-legal substance;) Maybe they found some of the green stuff growing wild behind the Ponderosa. OMG can you imagine Shirin high?????!!!

That's a mind-boggling notion! Giggling non-stop, bugging the chef even more than she is now, her motor mouth now at warp speed... I'd want to see that, if only for the reactions of the others.

[LadyChatts]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7eLmZq1eq8

 

Tyler's Ponderosa vid is up.  He lost 26 lbs, Shirin 80% likes him/10% doesn't/10% has a ? over him, and is still bitter he didn't stand up for her.  Hali made him a Star Wars crown.

 

I'm going to hate Shirin at Ponderosa if she dwells on the Will issue with everyone that's voted off.

Edited May 7, 2015 by LadyChatts

[LanceM]

I was just about to post that. Not a very exciting video to be honest. Tyler did get his own crown that said Star Wars on it, not sure why. Shirin was wearing a  smurf mask for some odd reason. Lots of confessionals from Tyler and Shirin about Tyler not defending her but they didn't really show them talking with each other. Joe was dancing with Hali which was kind of cute. That is about it really.

[LadyChatts]

I liked Tyler telling Shirin to stand back and let him have his moment.  My opinion of Shirin changed, and not for the better, in this vid.  Trying to keep it in perspective that everything is still raw, Tyler did sort of instigate the Will drama, and that they are friends now.  His video is about as interesting as he was on the show.

 

I enjoy Joe, Jenn, and Hali far more in these clips than I do anyone else.  And that goes for everyone left in the game.  I guess the fun and serenity at Ponderosa is slowly going away now.  Not the same vibe with Tyler.

Edited May 7, 2015 by LadyChatts

[wonald]

Shirin channeling RC St.Twat in S25 Ponderosa. Good move. Hopefully, people will see it and realize how truly insufferable she is.

[KimberStormer]

Joe and Hali dancing <3

with the setting sun behind them <3

 

I wonder when the Ponderosa videos are edited.  This one sure seemed to be in response to the controversy.  I'd rather have seen Joe and Hali doing crafts than any of this Shirin VS Tyler stuff.  I don't know if Shirin is at RC Ponderosa level, but she's not Ponderosaing right, that's for sure.

[pfk505]

As usual Tyler's Ponderosa is all about Shirin.. Enough already with this victim narrative.

[pennben]

[oh, lord, nevermind].

Edited May 7, 2015 by pennben

[kikaha]

Shiri is delusional.  She thinks Survivor is the Shirin Show.  She also seems to think she is some kind of Dr. Phil, whose insights into life will lead to major breakthroughs for other less enlightened ones.  Comically ironic, considering how unaware she was of herself and her actions on the island this season.  More and more indications of how and why she pissed off so many players this season. 

 

I liked Tyler in this video, and saw pretty much the same person as during the season.  My one thumbs down: his talk about integrity.  He definitely jumped off that train, more than once. 

[Wings]

Oh, here Shrin goes again.  What arrogance!   Tyler is well spoken and has her number.  Loved it when he asked her to back off when he was talking to the camera about his experience.  Which is why the camera was on him!  

[JudyObscure]

So, Shirrin tells Tyler there are things he probably doesn't know about himself that she could tell him about and he could work on those things but if he doesn't come to her then he must not want to grow. I would hate having her for a boss.

I could give Shirrin a little feedback, if she wants to learn about herself and grow. First would be the too late information that many people were feeling sympathetic toward her after the Will confrontation, but we're losing that feeling fast as we see the self-centered, arrogant person at Ponderosa. Also, as an example of how we can learn from unlikely sources, take some feedback from Jenn, "Just sit."

[loki567]

Definitely reminding me of the RC/Abi-Maria situation. At the end that felt like to me an asshole being picked on by an even bigger asshole. While I still think Will and Dan are jerk-offs and I'm still willing to judge them for the awful things they said, I can see from these Ponderosa videos while virtually everyone disliked Shirin out there.

 

"There are things you don't realize about yourself that I'd be happy to tell you about"? Please. 

[kikaha]

I don't recall Shirin ever saying she had no one, and she received a letter from her boyfriend when they all purchased their loved one letters so there shouldn't be anything surprising about his existence. 

 

 

 

She doesn't, as far as we know. It came up because of Will's harangue of her, and she presented it as an explanation/argument rather than an excuse. It wasn't "I can't help behaving like this because I was traumatized by domestic abuse." It was "you're mocking me for having no family, but the reason I have no family is because my family was abusive." 

 

She's been talking about her history now on social networking to use her new found platform for survivor advocacy. That is the opposite of displaying a victim mentality.

 

Several people from this season say Shirin constantly dwelled on her traumatic childhood.  Shirin herself says it was no secret: she freely told everyone.  That is, after all, how Will knew where to twist the knife.