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Small Talk: We'll Be Right Back


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Well, I seem to be dominating the conversation! Got my Red Copper Flipwich today. It's very small, if you have to cook for a family, it will not be practical. I only cook for me, so it's fine. When I opened the box, I noticed there were dots along the cooking surface and was surprised that they were barely raised, at first I thought they would be more like parts of Legos, but they're not. 

I made a mistake right off the bat. I couldn't make up my mind what to cook, thought about a grilled cheese and probably should have gone with that. I don't think the enclosed recipe book is all that helpful. I think I will be exploring some ideas on my own. Pie filling inside a couple of slices of bread doesn't sound that appetizing, maybe some refrigerator biscuits might be a little better, especially with some brown sugar and cinnamon, I don't know, but I'm willing to take one for the team and explore some options. 

I decided to cook a small cube steak - not really a good idea, the skillet or the Foreman Grill is a much better choice. It was ok, I used a low heat, but then I really screwed it up. I put the steak between 2 slices of bread. Here's the lesson, do not leave the kitchen for 10 or 15 minutes and forget you have this thing on the stove! Remembered just short of setting off the smoke alarm. A burned on slice of bread is hard to pry off the cube steak, especially when very hot! I wasn't going to waste that little steak, I could have given the whole mess to the dogs, they would have loved it, but I wasn't going to do it! Finally got most of it off, put a new slice of bread on that side and started over. While I was prying the burned piece off, the other slice of bread cooked to a beautiful shade of just right done and the burner had been turned off. So I only had to heat and brown the new slice. Tasted ok, really needed some other stuff in the sandwich, but I didn't really have much on hand. I'll have to do some research and stock up on supplies.

But this little pan cleans up very nicely. Since I had cooked the meat and then burned the bread, I didn't just use a paper towel, I don't think that would have done the job. I used a little Dawn and a sponge. It looks like new again. 

I'm thinking of trying frozen pancakes with something for filling. I'm just not a big fan of plain bread. I may have to experiment with some specialty breads too.

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Speaking of cooking, I was reminded this week why I don't do it.

Along with fruit and tomatoes, I got a squash, zucchini and three small fingerling potatoes at the farmer's market last Saturday. I planned to roast the vegetables when I got around to it.

The zucchini and squash both developed mold or something about 1/3 of the way down them and it grew exponentially by the hour. By the time I got ready to roast them (Tuesday?), the 1/3 of each had to be cut off and tossed. I finally cut up everything and put it on a cookie sheet with balsamic vinegar, olive oil and Trader Joe's "Everyday Seasoning". I didn't use a large enough sheet, so the vegetables were layered, which just meant longer roasting time.

This is a thrilling story; I know.

I set the kitchen timer on the microwave for 30 minutes and checked on the vegetables when the timer went off. The potatoes weren't nearly done, and it seems that squash can go for a while as long as it's not under high heat (I was doing 350 degrees). I set the timer for another 30 minutes.

Quite a bit later, I realized it had been...a while (I was in the bedroom on the other side of the apartment, watching TV...and started to smell not quite burning, but definitely past roasting.

Sure enough, the timer had gone off at some point. It just beeps a few times, not consistently until it's turned off. The vegetables were burned to the edges of the pan. Most of the rest was salvageable.

This was literally the first time this year that I've cooked anything more complex than pasta water, and I failed. This is why I don't cook. It sucks and I ruin it.

My tomato sandwiches are fantastic, though.

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I don't understand that, either. I think ricotta in a calzone is relatively tasteless. To me, the texture is like very small curd cottage cheese (in viscous liquid), but the slightest bit grainy. I guess whatever else it's mixed with (egg? butter? sugar?) to make cannoli filling makes it delicious and erases all its other properties as well. I'd like to know how to harness that kind of sorcery for my own benefit.

And now I want some cannoli.

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On 10/5/2017 at 9:33 PM, bilgistic said:

Speaking of cooking, I was reminded this week why I don't do it.

Along with fruit and tomatoes, I got a squash, zucchini and three small fingerling potatoes at the farmer's market last Saturday. I planned to roast the vegetables when I got around to it.

The zucchini and squash both developed mold or something about 1/3 of the way down them and it grew exponentially by the hour. By the time I got ready to roast them (Tuesday?), the 1/3 of each had to be cut off and tossed. I finally cut up everything and put it on a cookie sheet with balsamic vinegar, olive oil and Trader Joe's "Everyday Seasoning". I didn't use a large enough sheet, so the vegetables were layered, which just meant longer roasting time.

This is a thrilling story; I know.

I set the kitchen timer on the microwave for 30 minutes and checked on the vegetables when the timer went off. The potatoes weren't nearly done, and it seems that squash can go for a while as long as it's not under high heat (I was doing 350 degrees). I set the timer for another 30 minutes.

Quite a bit later, I realized it had been...a while (I was in the bedroom on the other side of the apartment, watching TV...and started to smell not quite burning, but definitely past roasting.

Sure enough, the timer had gone off at some point. It just beeps a few times, not consistently until it's turned off. The vegetables were burned to the edges of the pan. Most of the rest was salvageable.

This was literally the first time this year that I've cooked anything more complex than pasta water, and I failed. This is why I don't cook. It sucks and I ruin it.

My tomato sandwiches are fantastic, though.

THAT, Bilgistic, is the story of every meal I try to make for myself. I have given up on trying to follow some fabulous recipe step by step and it turns out looking horrific and tasting gross. Now I just go to Trader Joe's for their wild caught salmon and ahi tuna. Sushi is my friend. But I think I might get adventurous and try making a tomato sandwich! Lol!

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I'm calmed down, mostly, now. But I'm so mad, I wish the neighbor would get a structured settlement and lose all his money to JG Wentworth! (it's Wentworth) 877cashnow or whatever. 

I was involved in an incident yesterday, a neighbor aimed a gun at and threatened to shoot my dog, then aimed the gun at me when I screamed at him. I'm ok, the dog is ok and back home safely. I know people don't like pit bulls, but this is a dog that sleeps on my bed with me and is just a big overgrown puppy. He got loose, I was trying to catch him. He does pretty good with obedience in the house, but when he gets free, he looses his mind. I had cheese and cookies in my pocket and was trying to get his attention and get him. Yes, I did file a police report.

Edited by friendperidot
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yes, the yard is fenced, but he's on a tether. What I frequently say about him: "Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound..." He's about 60 lbs, very strong, very strong minded.

Through a series of misadventures that are just too complicated to try to explain, he got out the door with tether attached and I couldn't bribe him back in the house, then he realized he was free and he leaped the fence and took off. I usually have the tether wrapped around a tree, but things happened. He goes through a tether about every 3-5 months, I order a new one when he breaks one so I have backup. I've also gone to stronger tethers, right now I'm using ones rated for dogs up to 125 lbs. May have to go to the 250 lb level if he doesn't calm down as he gets older. He's about 14-15 months old, a young adolescent and just like young adolescent human males, he loses his damn mind when he gets some freedom. On the other hand, I'm 67, 4'11", weigh about 120 lbs, he's much stronger and faster than I.

He had his tether attached when he was running free, it's a metal wire with a plastic coating, the dew was heavy in the grass, I couldn't catch that tether and if I would have, he would have hurt me severely by pulling me down and dragging me, and that is if I could have held on, that thing was slick! But the effing moron neighbor was screaming at me to get the rope. I do have bruises on the back of my hand from trying to catch him and my shoulders are so sore today.

What I finally did was get the dog to change directions and leave the effing moron neighbor (thank you, Rex Tillerson for new vocabulary phrases). I went back to my house, got the leash, more cookies in my pocket, set a full dish of dog food on the front porch with cheese on top, left the front door open. After about a half hour chase, I was able to hook the leash to the hook of the tether and work our way home, I had to do a lot of drop down low to the ground to dig in to keep hold on the tether. When we got to  the house, I sat on the steps and held on for dear life, got out some cookies and got his attention, tossed one in the front door, and he took off, up the steps, into the house, I jumped up (no small feat) slammed the door on him inside, got him into the bedroom, shut the door, then set about bringing in the dog food dish, the tether was still partly outside, I got it free, unhooked the leash. Put the tether in the back yard, back around the tree. Came in, used Google Earth and called the police non emergency number. It took them over 2 hours to get there. It wasn't an emergency by that time, but I was shaking and  upset all day.

Are the police going to do anymore than talk to the man? I doubt it. The officer told me when he called in for a case number that there have been over 60,000 police reported gun incidents this year in Tulsa. That probably includes all calls about gunshots fired. In this neighborhood on New Year's Eve, there are hundreds of gunshots. I stay in the house and leave lights off and stay away from the windows. It's not an upscale neighborhood, but this is ridiculous!

Edited again, because Chihuahuas are required to follow leash laws just as much as Pit Bulls. And maybe if the effing moron had his Chihuahua on a leash or in a fenced yard, my dog might not have gone into his yard. 

Edited by friendperidot
spelling, paragraph breaks, correcting quote, geeesh!
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My former neighborhood was a nice one but backed up to a not-nice one from which gunshots regularly originated. One of my neighbors' walls was in fact shot from the direction of the adjacent neighborhood. My neighbors and I constantly called the police when we heard gunshots and always got the line, "If we don't see them actually shooting, we can't do anything." Really? REALLY? I'm pretty sure MURDER CASES don't work that way, but OK.

  • Love 6

Have you heard of a blogger called Allie Brosh? She does a series on her dog that sounds just like what you guys are describing, look up Hyperbole And A Half. Here's a bit of it, but you really need her illustrations to go along with it:

No one expects their dog to instantaneously develop an extremely specific fear of horse statues, and I was unprepared for her reaction, which was to sprint powerfully in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, what the simple dog lacks in cognitive capacity, she makes up in ground speed, and her sudden fleeing yanked the leash from my hand.  

 

I chased her all the way across the park and into an adjacent neighborhood. She ran into a partially fenced yard and, when her forward trajectory was interrupted by the fence, she began to gallop in giant, crazy circles just out of my reach.   

 

I'm fairly certain she had already forgotten what she was running from and had no idea what was going on, but there she was - propelling herself in endless loops around someone else's yard

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I'm going to jump in here and say that it is pretty scary when someone is walking with a pit bull, especially when that someone is smallish in stature and I'm thinking that she (or even he) can't control the dog if it wants to get loose.  I have a neighbor who is very slightly built, and she does have a tough time controlling her three pit bulls at times (thankfully, she walks them one at a time).  She doesn't live that close to me but the woman next door to her did call animal control a couple times in the last month because one of the pit bulls got away from the owner, jumped the fence into the neighbor's yard, and was trying to eat the neighbor's chihuahua.  I don't own a gun but I do carry a can of mace just in case I encounter this woman with her dogs when I take my walks. 

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I'm nervous around any dog (whom I don't know personally) not under her/his owner's control. 

Pit bull hysteria makes me very angry.  I don't know whether that played into you being threatened with a gun, @friendperidot, behavior that is despicable regardless of motivation, but what a mess.  I'm glad at the end of it everyone is okay.

And, yes, Hyperbole and a Half is a national treasure. 

  • Love 4
4 hours ago, bilgistic said:

My former neighborhood was a nice one but backed up to a not-nice one from which gunshots regularly originated. One of my neighbors' walls was in fact shot from the direction of the adjacent neighborhood. My neighbors and I constantly called the police when we heard gunshots and always got the line, "If we don't see them actually shooting, we can't do anything." Really? REALLY? I'm pretty sure MURDER CASES don't work that way, but OK.

Sheesh. East Palo Alto (SF Bay Area) used to have a terrible gun problem - Wikipedia says it was the "per capita murder capital of the United States". Then they used seismic sensors to detect it and now EPA is no worse than any other suburb.

13 hours ago, Bastet said:

Pit bull hysteria makes me very angry.

 

Have you read Pit Bull: The Battle Over An American Icon by Bronwen Dickey? I picked it up at the library a few months ago, and while it isn't an unbiased POV, I think it does well as an attempt to dispel the hysteria surrounding these dogs. I've said for years that any animal is only as bad as the person who cares for it, that if you treat one with love and kindness that's what you'll get in return. Unfortunately, it's only the bad stories that usually get people's attention.

  • Love 3

Working part-time at a vet, I get to meet a lot of different dogs. In the almost-four-years I've been there, the most dangerous thing I've seen of pitbulls is the threat of being licked to death. They can be such happy, loving dogs.

One of the front desk ladies also runs a rescue group for pitties and brings her pet to the office. I feel sorry for the dog for two reasons - she was originally supposed to be a fighter, so her ears are clipped to almost non-existence, so there's nothing for an opponent to grab on to, and now, she's so sweet, her owner dresses her in a tutu on special occasions. I swear, she looks embarrassed wearing a pink tutu.

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23 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I'm glad you are both okay! What a lunatic your neighbor is! I hope the police will do something.

From a legal POV, the neighbor was defending himself from a perceived threat. He was looking at a dangerous dog that was not under control of its owner, and judging from his reaction, this wasn't the first time he's been threatened in such a manner. friendperidot is courting tragedy by letting the dog be the boss in their relationship. You don't have to be big to be in charge.

  • Love 6

I'm glad I watched the Vivian Tries and Freakin' Reviews of that Flip Witch. They really showed how small it is and how flimsy the thing on the end that keeps the handles together while whatever is cooking. I noticed Vivian kinda just takes whatever out of the box and/or bag, cleans it and then uses/tests it. Where the FR guy will "season" a pan like the FlipWich before using it. 

Edited by Jaded
Spelling....
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15 hours ago, Jaded said:

I'm glad I watched the Vivian Tries and Freakin' Reviews of that Flip Witch. They really showed how small it is and how flimsy the thing on the end that keeps the handles together while whatever is cooking. I noticed Vivian kinda just takes whatever out of the box and/or bag, cleans it and then uses/tests it. Where the FR guy will "season" a pan like the Flip Witch before using it. 

I saw both of those too. I wish she'd read the directions once in a while. And yeah, thing is really small. Oh, well.

21 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I saw both of those too. I wish she'd read the directions once in a while. And yeah, thing is really small. Oh, well.

Poor Vivian in her video for it. She was dressed as a Storm Trooper in it and seemed to spend more time adjusting the crotch of her costume then paying full attention to what she was making with that FlipWich. She went off screen during it and I was hoping she'd come back to say she put some regular pants on so she could finish up without being preoccupied.

  • Love 1
1 hour ago, Jaded said:

Poor Vivian in her video for it. She was dressed as a Storm Trooper in it and seemed to spend more time adjusting the crotch of her costume then paying full attention to what she was making with that FlipWich. She went off screen during it and I was hoping she'd come back to say she put some regular pants on so she could finish up without being preoccupied.

OK, I have to admit I had never heard of Vivian but decided to watch this video based solely on your description. I watched enough to get her verdict on grilled cheese and decided to make on for myself. The old fashion way, with lots of butter.

It was good.

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7 minutes ago, xaxat said:

OK, I have to admit I had never heard of Vivian but decided to watch this video based solely on your description. I watched enough to get her verdict on grilled cheese and decided to make on for myself. The old fashion way, with lots of butter.

It was good.

My favorite grilled cheese sandwich is cracked wheat sour dough with Provolone. And lots of butter. Which would be way too large for the Flipwich.

Edited by peacheslatour
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From the hated commercial thread. Hmmm... colonoscopy or colon cancer. Seems like a no brainer to me. I have a family history of colon cancer. My father died of it. I've had 3 colonoscopies where benign but could become cancerous polyps were removed. The worst part of a colonoscopy is the prep. The procedure is a piece of cake because they drug you to he point you're pretty much out of it.

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5 minutes ago, chessiegal said:

Hmmm... colonoscopy or colon cancer. Seems like a no brainer to me. I have a family history of colon cancer. My father died of it.

Which is why no doctor in her or his right mind would suggest you do the fecal test instead of a colonoscopy (unless there was some medical reason prohibiting the procedure).  For those who do not have that history, symptoms that may indicate colon cancer, or any other reason to suspect it as a possibility, it's a different story, and a colonoscopy may not be warranted.  In those cases, it's a different situation - in terms of what the procedure entails and its risks, the general incidence (meaning accounting for risk factors) of the disease, and the growth and mortality rate of the disease - from saying, for example, "of course every woman over a certain age should have a mammogram; do you want to get breast cancer?"

Quote

The worst part of a colonoscopy is the prep. The procedure is a piece of cake because they drug you to he point you're pretty much out of it.

Because of their differences in risk factors, my mom has had two (this year's is the last one she'll ever have to have, to her relief) while my dad has had none.  She loathes the prep (it's not fun for a sigmoidoscopy, either, and my dad has had that), but in her particular case the procedure kind of sucks, too, because of the (congenital and harmless) "extra kinks" she has in her intestines; they always apologize to her.  In general, though, yeah - the worst part is the clearing yourself out in preparation for the test.

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I'm not sure what you're arguing, or even if you're arguing, because having risk factors and being able to undergo a colonoscopy means you are not the person the fecal test is designed for/being marketed to (or the people being discussed in saying there are valid reasons, not just "eek, get away from my ass," to forgo a colonoscopy).  Nor is my mom, who is in remission from metastatic breast cancer; of course she and her doctors are going to assume the risk to go hunting, given her risk factor.  But my dad, who has no risk factors, no symptoms, nor any other reason to think he may have colon cancer, is recommended to, and agrees it's best to, have annual fecal tests and only move to colonoscopy if a changed situation warrants (and insurance would cover a colonoscopy at any point, so for once in this crazy healthcare system of ours, that's not it).  

So if you mean in your circumstances, it would be foolish to go for this test instead of a colonoscopy, I agree (presumably as does even the advertising team because they're not marketing it as a universal preliminary step/replacement) .  If you mean under any circumstances, at least for someone of a certain age, this test shouldn't be used rather than going right to a screening colonoscopy, that's when I - and many doctors - would disagree with you.

At any rate, congratulations on beating two forms of cancer!  I wish you good health for many years to come.

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12 hours ago, chessiegal said:

The procedure is a piece of cake because they drug you to he point you're pretty much out of it.

Hearing this (as I have once or twice before) intrigues me, because in the 6 colonoscopies I've had at 5-year intervals, with 3 different doctors, I've always been totally out of it, and told in advance that I will be. And (not that I've been offered a choice) I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, the prep is the bad part; plus (much milder, but has to be dealt with) as a single person of a certain age, arranging rides to and from.

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17 hours ago, chessiegal said:

The worst part of a colonoscopy is the prep. The procedure is a piece of cake because they drug you to he point you're pretty much out of it.

Yup.  The prep was the worst part for me.  I woke up and two cute male nurses were looking down at me, smiling.  I actually smiled back.  Thankfully, the results were ok.  The feeling I had when I woke up was embarrassment that those guys saw my ass. ; )

Edited by Ohwell
clarity
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I didn’t fall asleep; I simply watched the procedure on the monitor.  “Colon:  The Movie.” 

ETA:  And the prep was definitely the worst part, although when the two nurses debated the merits of pumpkin pie made with fresh vs. canned pumpkin, I wanted to say, “Ummm, you know I haven’t had solid food in almost two days, right?”

Edited by smittykins
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5 hours ago, Rinaldo said:

Hearing this (as I have once or twice before) intrigues me, because in the 6 colonoscopies I've had at 5-year intervals, with 3 different doctors, I've always been totally out of it, and told in advance that I will be. And (not that I've been offered a choice) I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, the prep is the bad part; plus (much milder, but has to be dealt with) as a single person of a certain age, arranging rides to and from.

I've heard enough reports that the procedure is no big thing that I'm sure I wouldn't mind it at all, but the ride arrangement part has me totally stymied. If I were allowed to drive myself to and from I'd do it but I don't know anyone well enough to ask for a ride. Luckily I'm not at risk so I did Cologuard last year and things were fine. It wasn't so bad, but I definitely had to resist telling the teenager behind the counter at the UPS store what was in the box, just that it was fragile and should be kept upright.

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2 hours ago, Rinaldo said:

I abandoned such concepts as modesty long ago. :)

Having your doctor ask, "Hey, can the residents feel your breast tumor?" (and there are 3 of them) will do that, too. But I know they have to learn by doing, so someone needs to let them feel what a tumor feels like.

TMI:

Spoiler

I had a colonoscopy and was hesitant, and finally told the nurse I was afraid that sedation + empty colon might equal farting in their faces. She laughed and said they enter with suction to avoid just that, so not to worry. I just remember bits and pieces and it really wasn't bad at all. Best of all, I don't have to do it again for another 5 years!

Edited by riley702
  • Love 2

It's not just arranging the ride to & from...my doc insists that the person remain in the waiting room the whole time.  Fortunately, my neighbor works "from home," so she just brought her laptop & worked from the waiting room, using the doc's wi-fi.  Didn't need a companion for the barium enema, but the failed colonoscopy and the upper endo a few weeks later required an escort in the waiting room.

 

All that and they STILL couldn't find out what's wrong. The solution: "Just take Imodium"  OK, doc, but what about the times when I need Miralax, instead?  Sheesh. Don't find out what's wrong; just give it a pill to hide the symptoms.

  • Love 1
11 hours ago, Rinaldo said:

Hearing this (as I have once or twice before) intrigues me, because in the 6 colonoscopies I've had at 5-year intervals, with 3 different doctors, I've always been totally out of it, and told in advance that I will be. And (not that I've been offered a choice) I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, the prep is the bad part; plus (much milder, but has to be dealt with) as a single person of a certain age, arranging rides to and from.

I wasn't able to do the knockout the last time because I had no driver so I had to drive myself.  It wasn't totally awful, but it was pretty painful in places, like really bad gas pains.

  • Love 1
19 hours ago, CoderLady said:

Luckily I'm not at risk so I did Cologuard last year and things were fine. It wasn't so bad, but I definitely had to resist telling the teenager behind the counter at the UPS store what was in the box, just that it was fragile and should be kept upright.

I noticed that the Cologuard ad features a UPS truck. Is this something that the Postal Service won;t accept?

I worked as a UPS driver helper for the holiday season four years ago. Unfortunately, your stool sample is being tossed around the truck with abandon. Package it securely! It's not something that happens on purpose; the drivers are just on a very tight schedule (each stop is time-limited!) and the amount of deliveries is crazy. During the holidays, you can't see over the piles of boxes in the back of the truck.

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5 hours ago, Tunia said:

That ride to and from situation is a real bugger.  My doctors and their affiliated hospital are an hour away.  How can you ask someone to take a day off work to transport you?  For some reason, the docs never seem to comprehend this aspect of arranging these procedures.

I will be facing the same situation  soon. I still am not sure what I will do, I may ask one of my employees  if her mother will do it and pay her. I am going to ask the Dr. what they do about people  who have no family . 

  • Love 3

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