Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Arwen Evenstar]

Thanks, Big Sky Girl. I enjoy the forum, so I don't wish to post in the wrong places.

[BitterApple]

Aside from Pris wearing an ill-fitting non maternity shirt, I actually think she looks kinda cute.

[Kiss my mutt]

Is Priss wearing a wig in that photo or a bad dye job?

[Sew Sumi]

I do have a correction to make: I called out Daniel Webster (Alyssa Bates Webster's FIL) the other day as the Congressman where Pulse is located. I was wrong. Orlando is gerrymandered into two different Congressional Districts, and Pulse, in the eastern side of the city, is actually in the district of Alan Grayson, a Democrat (I only point this out because it's strange as hell to have one city in two districts that vote differently!). All the same, Webster did issue a statement which acknowledged both the tragedy and its victims. It's strange that we still haven't heard from any of the Bateses directly, but that just may be tied to the fact that their show is currently airing, and they don't want to do anything to jeopardize their "brand," unlike some of the Duggars.

eta: Davia's too big pink boots are beyond adorable. Davey's too tight cowboy muscle tee? Not so much. 

Edited June 14, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Arwen Evenstar]

Despite the many not so flattering things that are known about TFDW's personality, he and Pris make a cute couple. They always look rather happy. I don't see that dead behind the eyes look on Pris on the photos. I imagine she's happy in her own little way.

[kassygreene]

It would sure be lovely if at least one fundie family was sincerely happy, and it is weird that the only way we can sort of tell is the amount of life present or absent in the eyes...  TDFW & family do make nice pictures, if you don't click any of the video (with sound) or read any of the words longer than two sentences.

Desperately seeking a reason to be happy for someone here...  After all, no one really wants to be a punchline.

[Tabbygirl521]

3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

And now for something completely different: The Fabulous Wallers attend a rodeo in costume. 

i read the above as "The Fabulous Wailers,". (PNW legends!), one of my all-time fave bands, and my head began to explode as I wondered, for one glorious second, what they were doing in this thread. 

Edited June 15, 2016 by Tabbygirl521

[Joe Jitsu913]

5 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

And now for something completely different: The Fabulous Wallers attend a rodeo in costume. 

I actually don't  hate this look on Prissy. She looks...cute?? 

Edited June 15, 2016 by Joe Jitsu913

[MunichNark]

The shirt's unflattering, but it's a kind of fun picture.

But the FDW.........his life must be so uncomfortable not living out the way he should live. I do think, still, that he is a nasty person and that he does take it out on his wife. I'll give them some credit though, they seem to care about their kids.

[Catlyn]

On a second look, is their daughter wearing...pants?  Maybe she has her skirt bunched up because Prissy is carrying her, but first look it looks like she's wearing a ruffly shirt and pink pants.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Looks like pink leggings and you can see she's managed to work her way out of her pink cowboy boot.

[Joe Jitsu913]

4 hours ago, Catlyn said:

On a second look, is their daughter wearing...pants?  Maybe she has her skirt bunched up because Prissy is carrying her, but first look it looks like she's wearing a ruffly shirt and pink pants.

I would hope at the least little Davia is allowed leggings in Texas. Chigger bites are the worst.  I'm not sure if chiggers are found everywhere in TX, but in North Texas, we have them in the countryside and they are painful.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Dress and leggings underneath are standard Fundy attire. According to Michelle, that's standard attire until "they learn to sit like ladies". Little girls are notorious for putting their skirts over their heads, twirling their skirts, and find every possible way not to sit like a lady.

[frenchtoast]

In order to respond to the recent request about a new topic to discuss non-Duggar stuff,  we needed to elaborate a little, so please see this post in the Announcement topic. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

Dave and Prissy recently posted on davidlovespriscilla that they'd had another ultrasound, but there won't be a gender reveal since they want to be surprised. They already have one of each, so unless they didn't keep all the baby stuff, they're well prepared either way.  He seems to be a very devoted parent; some men are better at being fathers than husbands and vice versa.

[MunichNark]

What's this story about Nathan possibly cooling it off with Ashley? I've read some comments that seem to imply that they might be in difficulties.

[GeeGolly]

4 hours ago, MunichNark said:

What's this story about Nathan possibly cooling it off with Ashley? I've read some comments that seem to imply that they might be in difficulties.

They showed a convoluted snippet on their show. Stating something to the effect of having some big differences, without really saying what they were. Maybe Ashley doesn't want to leave NY? Maybe she doesn't want to pump out a dozen kids? Maybe she wants to work?

[becca3891]

Too bad we'll likely never know what's going on with Nathan and Ashley. They said last season that their families met at a homeschool conference, which we all know is code for ATI/Gothard. But although she was wearing leggings, Ashley's skirt was still way above the knee in this most recent episode. That isn't conclusive proof that she's avoided the Kool-Aid, but she's quite feisty too! Reality may be setting in that moving to rural Tennessee and being steeped in "Bates culture" might be a pretty miserable thing. Yes, something as simple as not wanting kids right away or wanting a normal job are still major no-nos in Bates world. It's easy to forget because they're more likeable than the Duggars, but it's the reality.

Edited June 18, 2016 by becca3891

[MunichNark]

It could be total non-issue for normal people of course. I just cannot see a New York girl, an outgoing one at that who is used to doing things living in such a backwater. It looks pretty but what is there, truly?

To be fair, it is to their credit that they are talking about it - the Dugs would never do that.

Did anyone watch that video where the married guys are singing? It's quite hilarious, and genuinely funny, agan, in stark contrast to the Dugs.

[Arwen Evenstar]

That's right, we'll never really know what happened, but I don't think we had to have our first BF/GF in front of the camera. The kids that grow up in these Fundy families have their every move scrutinized by their parents as it is, so they must feel tremendous pressure to 'get their courtship right", even when they aren't on TeeVee. When Zach's courtship with Sarah didn't work out, they made a BIG deal about it, and he was basically "damaged goods" in the Fundy community. 

They likely don't want Nate to move to the Big City, since we all know the Duggars blame that for Josh's moral failings. I think this young lady, even if she may be ATI, ithat she and her family are nowhere near as steeped in the Kool Aid.  Maybe, Gil and Kelly see this young lady as a wild horse that won't be broken..they can't have that....

Edited June 18, 2016 by Arwen Evenstar
Typos

[Barb23]

I posted this on the Bates show thread.  It was nice to see Nathan & Ashley being affectionate towards one another, without overdoing it.  A simple arm around her shoulder, holding hands (not hand sex), snuggling in close to one another, etc. & not making a big deal out of it.  I hope the Duggars took note. All I could think of was MEchelle making an idiot out of herself squealing about Benessa holding hands during their pre-engagement dinner.  

After Sunday's tragedy in Orlando, I want to add another thought I read awhile ago on another site.  They were discussing the Fundie way of inviting everyone incl strangers to family functions like weddings & graduation parties.  Someone mentioned that Joshley shouldn't have compromised everyone's safety by attending the Bateses graduation party esp so soon after he returned from rehab. Someone with their own agenda against Joshley's wayward ways could have shown up with a gun or rifle & another senseless tragedy could have unfolded. The Fundies may need to rethink their open door  policy & not invite the world to family functions.

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, MunichNark said:

It could be total non-issue for normal people of course. I just cannot see a New York girl, an outgoing one at that who is used to doing things living in such a backwater. It looks pretty but what is there, truly?

 

I can't either. Even for a Fundie, Ashley is going to have a certain level of sophistication living in New York City. If you check out her Instagram, she has a job, a diverse group of friends and a pretty independent life. I think theirs is a relationship where the extreme opposites are initially exciting and attractive, but won't play out well in the long haul.

[Arwen Evenstar]

This info is from the Bates family page:

http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/06/recap-lovely-day.html

They don't really elaborate, nor do they say the courtship is over.  Looks like they want to make sure "it's right", which is a sensible and responsible thing to do.  Fundies are known for short courtships and since they believe in the indissolubility of marriage, but I guess an opportunity to finally get to fulfill desires that otherwise could not righteously be fulfilled gets the better of them.

[Muffyn]

But what about the pieces of their heart they've given away?  Won't somebody think about the pieces of their heart?  They are chewed gum!  Used Kleenex!  The humanity!!!!!!!

{Or, they are mercifully doing the right thing and thinking that courtship is just that, courtship, a chance to get to know each other better and see if they would make a good match.  Oh wait, I'm being rational.  Let me get back into  fundie mode.}

Won't somebody think about the children!?!?!?!?!?!

[Sew Sumi]

4 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

This info is from the Bates family page:

http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/06/recap-lovely-day.html

They don't really elaborate, nor do they say the courtship is over.  Looks like they want to make sure "it's right", which is a sensible and responsible thing to do.  Fundies are known for short courtships and since they believe in the indissolubility of marriage, but I guess an opportunity to finally get to fulfill desires that otherwise could not righteously be fulfilled gets the better of them.

That's another fan blog run by Lily and Ellie, so they're not going to elaborate or dare be critical. 

[becca3891]

17 hours ago, Muffyn said:

But what about the pieces of their heart they've given away?  Won't somebody think about the pieces of their heart?  They are chewed gum!  Used Kleenex!  The humanity!!!!!!!

{Or, they are mercifully doing the right thing and thinking that courtship is just that, courtship, a chance to get to know each other better and see if they would make a good match.  Oh wait, I'm being rational.  Let me get back into  fundie mode.}

Won't somebody think about the children!?!?!?!?!?!

I will NEVER understand their belief that courtship somehow protects you from giving away "pieces of your heart." We've gotten to see firsthand that every one of them who has entered a courtship has fallen instantly into intense infatuation. It has nothing to do with whether or not you had sex; it has to do with the fact that none of us is immune to infatuation. The more experienced we get, the more we can see things clearly, but no one can do that when they're "in love" for the first time. There's going to be major pain and heartbreak when a courtship fails, as we heard about when Zach's failed.

[satrunrose]

Personally, I think if you're worried about "pieces of your heart" that courtship is much, much worse than dating. In dating land, when you go out  on a date first date you're not immune to infatuation, but there's an understanding that this person might be Mr or Miss Right, but they're just as likely to be Mr or Miss Right Now or Mr or Miss Forget About a Second Date. In courting, if you are courting it's because Daddy (and in their belief system God himself) has chosen this person to be your spouse. Everything in your life is telling you that you should  be infatuated... and then it falls apart. Dating people (for the most part) get that those things happen. If courting falls through not only has the person who you thought you were going to marry let you down, so has God.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Like I said before, they make such a huge freaking deal about courtship, that the disappointment is huge if it fails. Not to mention, the pressure on the male to propose and having to pay for chaperones as well as his date. We all know Fundys like their ilk don't normally work for Fortune 500 companies so how do they even afford?

This is how many people did things just a couple of generations ago, but the Fundys have to put even higher stakes on the game. Courtship to marriage is a zero sum game for these folks.

Edited June 19, 2016 by Arwen Evenstar

[GeeGolly]

33 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Like I said before, they make such a huge freaking deal about courtship, that the disappointment is huge if it fails. Not to mention, the pressure on the male to propose and having to pay for chaperones as well as his date. We all know Fundys like their ilk don't normally work for Fortune 500 companies so how do they even afford?

This is how many people did things just a couple of generations ago, but the Fundys have to put even higher stakes on the game. Courtship to marriage is a zero sum game for these folks.

But most called it dating, and sat in parlors with other folks in ear shot while they got to know each other. And I don't think it worked particularly well then. Many first babies back in the day were 8lb preemies.

[Arwen Evenstar]

22 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

But most called it dating, and sat in parlors with other folks in ear shot while they got to know each other. And I don't think it worked particularly well then. Many first babies back in the day were 8lb preemies.

Aaaaaaand, back in the day, young ladies often had many "gentleman callers" come to court them, not just this one guy that Dad decided that "God laid upon his heart" that this guy was the one. 

[MargeGunderson]

I imagine the pressure on the courting teens is immense. The courtship is not just sanctioned by their parents (specifically their headships, i.e. their fathers) but it was supposedly laid on their hearts by God. if it doesn't work out, it's like they are disobeying God.

[BradandJanet]

On 6/14/2016 at 4:20 PM, Sew Sumi said:

And now for something completely different: The Fabulous Wallers attend a rodeo in costume. 

Why is cowboys capitalized? At first, I thought they were going to a football game.

I suppose Pris plans to homeschool. Another generation lost.

Edited June 19, 2016 by BradandJanet

[Arwen Evenstar]

13 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I imagine the pressure on the courting teens is immense. The courtship is not just sanctioned by their parents (specifically their headships, i.e. their fathers) but it was supposedly laid on their hearts by God. if it doesn't work out, it's like they are disobeying God.

These kids are trusting their father and God that this person is "the one". I can't help but remember Priscilla comparing marrying David to crucifixion. No doubt she felt bound to obey her father and accept her fate as by Fundy standards it was high time she was married. 

Pa Keller probably told his daughters that by marrying Josh and David, they were preventing them from being more sinful.  No doubt as a prison minister, he has way too much confidence in rehabilitation, to stick all of his daughters with a life sentence of spouses who haven't treated them well.

[Albanyguy]

16 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

These kids are trusting their father and God that this person is "the one". I can't help but remember Priscilla comparing marrying David to crucifixion. No doubt she felt bound to obey her father and accept her fate as by Fundy standards it was high time she was married. 

Pa Keller probably told his daughters that by marrying Josh and David, they were preventing them from being more sinful.  No doubt as a prison minister, he has way too much confidence in rehabilitation, to stick all of his daughters with a life sentence of spouses who haven't treated them well.

Oh, I think Pa Keller would have said or done anything to push Anna and Priscilla into their marriages. He was able to marry one daughter off to the golden oldest son of a famous, relatively wealthy family and the other one off to a young man who was Bill Gothard's right-hand man. Pure self-serving Fundie social climbing.

[BitterApple]

Ma and Pa Keller must be in panic mode right now. Out of eight children, three daughters are in disastrous marriages, one was an unwed mother, and three of the eight have left the cult. No wonder those two younger boys are handcuffed to the Waller Homestead. Mr. Keller is batting well below .500 on the Gothard Model for Successful Families scale. The Bateses seem to be the only ones functioning well.

[Micks Picks]

Bitter Apple I don't think Keller considers 3 marriages to be disaster.  One is in Africa and I'd be horrified if that was my daughter, but I think Keller talks himself into thinking she's doing a good and wifely thing and Jesus will protect her.  If she had feelings of her own, she'd have long ago blown up over her treatment in the marriage.  I would have.  Pris is married to a star of the movement, and that's great considering when she learned of the arrangement she cried and wanted to be struck dead.  Anna is doing the godly thing and helping her husband.  She stayed, as she should have, according to his beliefs.  Prison ministers I have known don't do nearly the good they think they do.  They think they'd got a bible spouting conversion, and then the guy is paroled, and life doesn't go the way it should.  Like no job in 48 hours or less, no car, not enough money, and back to prison they go where Pa gets to have them pray some more.  Sad.  Very sad.

[JoanArc]

Quote

 Pris is married to a star of the movement, and that's great considering when she learned of the arrangement she cried and wanted to be struck dead.

Agreed. To outsiders Pris' marriage is terrible and will inevitably have big issues, but now, to the insiders, it's an unmitigated success.

[Arwen Evenstar]

6 hours ago, JoanArc said:

Agreed. To outsiders Pris' marriage is terrible and will inevitably have big issues, but now, to the insiders, it's an unmitigated success.

One thing is certain: The Waller-lets and The Smuggarlings are really adorable children.

Fundie social climbing does seem like his aim. No different from the arranged marriages of royal families and the aristocracy. 

[Tabbygirl521]

I would be slightly ticked at God if He laid it on my dad's heart that any of these spouses were "the one" for me. It would hurt my feelings. David Waller? How about Neil DeGrasse Tyson or John Oliver or Paul Allen? You knew, someone with a brain and maybe some dough. 

Edited June 21, 2016 by Tabbygirl521

[TomServo]

On 6/18/2016 at 8:04 AM, MunichNark said:

I just cannot see a New York girl, an outgoing one at that who is used to doing things living in such a backwater. It looks pretty but what is there, truly?

 

Everything that Knoxville, Nashville, Asheville, Chattanooga, and Atlanta have to offer.  Where the Bates family lives is a quick commute to Knoxville and daytrip distance from all those other cities.  They do live in a countryside part of the area, but I've been to backwaters in Tennessee and Lake City isn't it.  They don't live at the Nutbush City Limits, for sure.  They live in the area where you buy property if you want access to both outdoor rec and city activities but don't want the city in your face every day.

[MunichNark]

So it's close enough to big cities? But you'd need to drive there first, right? So any real cultural things and shopping would be an effort. I don't see young Nathan wanting to expand his horizons that much, tbh. Why doesn't he move to New York and experience a different lifestyle?

[Sew Sumi]

Kaci Lynn is here. UP won't let me copy the link on my phone, but they have a couple pics in the BuB gallery. If she was born on Sunday, we share a birthday. :)

[allonsyalice]

3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Kaci Lynn is here. UP won't let me copy the link on my phone, but they have a couple pics in the BuB gallery. If she was born on Sunday, we share a birthday. :)

Here's the link! It almost pains me to say so, but what a sweet family, honestly. 

[BitterApple]

I can't really get a good look at her face, but if Bradley is any indication, Kaci Lynn is going to be a cutie. Whit looks great.

[Sew Sumi]

8 minutes ago, allonsyalice said:

Here's the link! It almost pains me to say so, but what a sweet family, honestly. 

Ugh, don't give Lily and Ellie any hits. 

Look at this instead. Kaci was born last night (6/20) at 10:32PM, weighed 7lb.8oz., and was 21.5" long. 

Edited June 21, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Arwen Evenstar]

Glad  Zach's and Whit's baby girl arrived safely.

Looks like poor Erin is having some issues and might need to be induced early.

http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/06/erin-and-carsonso-cute.html

i hope mom and baby are ok. Perhaps it's wise for Chad and Erin to shut down the factory.  She shouldn't have to put her health at risk for these beliefs she was raised with. Now they have a sweet little family, and a boy and a girl, hopefully, they will quit while they're ahead.

[Sew Sumi]

Erin already announced that she is going to be induced early, maybe two weeks ago. Lily and Ellie are just repeating old news. She went 36 weeks with Carson, and the doctor was just about to induce then, but she went into the labor that almost killed her naturally. 

I imagine that Brooklyn will be delivered around 8/1. 

Edited June 21, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

Erin already announced that she is going to be induced early, maybe two weeks ago. Lily and Ellie are just repeating old news. She went 36 weeks with Carson, and the doctor was just about to induce then, but she went into the labor that almost killed her naturally. 

I imagine that Brooklyn will be delivered around 8/1. 

Thanks, Sew; somehow, you always have "the skinny". It was news to me, anyway..LOL

[Sew Sumi]

LOL! I just saw Erin's post on Instagram. It wasn't a state secret or anything. :D

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Glad  Zach's and Whit's baby girl arrived safely.

Looks like poor Erin is having some issues and might need to be induced early.

http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/06/erin-and-carsonso-cute.html

i hope mom and baby are ok. Perhaps it's wise for Chad and Erin to shut down the factory.  She shouldn't have to put her health at risk for these beliefs she was raised with. Now they have a sweet little family, and a boy and a girl, hopefully, they will quit while they're ahead.

I agree.  After this baby, they need to stop with the baby-making IMO.