S10.E07: Race to the Altar

[Almost 3000]

I've not noticed this being a "thing" specific to Southern states, though others' observations may vary. Funnily enough, my husband and I call both our sons-in-law by Firstname-Lastname quite a bit, but we do it in a joking way . . . kind of implying that they're "new" or that we haven't fully accepted them yet. (We're crazy about both of them, and they know it.)

 

I wonder if the emphasis on the Ben and Derick's last names is a patriarchy thing . . . to emphasize that the girls will accept the husband's name and headship. I wasn't watching much back when Anna and Josh were courting . . . was there this much emphasis on her last name before she married?

This just reminded me of Anna saying Josh-u-ah. It just stood out because everyone else called him Josh.

[RazzleberryPie]

It bothers me to no end how Ben thinks everything is a free for all. Just the registering at WalMart for anything and everything. His "I'm inviting anybody and everybody. Anybody I've ever passed on a street!"  Obviously, he doesn't know the value of a buck and will never know what it's like to struggle to pay $50 (give or take) a head like most people. None of these kids have to work (except Derick...and if you consider Josh), they just get to hang out day in and day out. Ben's a freeloading piece of shit.

This is just as sign of immaturity and not yet having to be financially responsible. It's like when a kid gets $500 in birthday money from a party, and blows it on one video game or makeup. For most of the population, $500 is hard earned and going toward rent, mortgages, car payments, food, electricity, water, etc., and the $10 lipstick from Wal-mart is just far more practical and looks about the same as the $50 lipstick from Neiman-Marcus. But for someone who has never had a real job or had to pay real life expenses, and is not on the Duggar speaking tour having untaxed 'loved offerings' handed to him, it's really difficult to learn the value of a dollar.

 

I wonder if the emphasis on the Ben and Derick's last names is a patriarchy thing . . . to emphasize that the girls will accept the husband's name and headship. I wasn't watching much back when Anna and Josh were courting . . . was there this much emphasis on her last name before she married?

I think it's just to differentiate that they aren't Duggars, even though all the Duggars pretty much look alike with very little differences, while Ben and Derrick look nothing like Duggars.

 

Why was Jills face so puffy looking while cooking? It wasn't pregnancy swelling, but more like first thing in the morning..just exaggerated.

Some women, especially those with round faces, just puffy up during pregnancy. An old wives tale is the super puff and wide nose = boy, but who knows.

[bigskygirl]

Note to the producers of the show:  Please for the love of Pete, do not give Jill and Derick their own show. They are painful to watch. It would be more interesting to watch city workers fill the potholes on the roads than these two.

[RazzleberryPie]

The funny thing is, I think Michelle perms that rat's nest of hers, and if so, she actually makes a concerted effort to look that outdated. She has intentionally hung onto that hairstyle for more than 30 years! The length, the pouf, the curls -- just, no! Some women her age can pull off a sleek shoulder length hairstyle and look put together and current -- but most women cannot and do not because it takes more time and their hair is thinning and drier due to aging. I would love to see Michelle take the plunge and take off 8-12 inches and get a current style that suits her face. She could do it during the off-season so she has time to experiment and get used to it without being filmed. She could be much more attractive if she'd only take some risks and that goes for her clothing too. She could still wear skirts and dresses and look current by ditching all her clothes and have someone style her and take her shopping. And finally, if she's going to work out, for the love of God, pitch the skirt and leggings and throw on a pair of yoga pants and a loose fitting t-shirt. It can be done modestly and still look feminine.

She does the 80s hair with the poofy bangs and dog ear sides on purpose. They've given her a makeover, and she looked 15 years younger, but hated it.

 

One could clearly see the difference in texture, shine and health between Cindy's hair and Michelle's hair..Michelle's is dull, dry damaged and frizzy. It looks awful and I would also think any "workout" at all would require Mishy to put that mess up off her neck with a rubber band! There was no real work out done at all; simply episode fill-in...Michelle has those machines "back at the Duggar compound" where they can work out in their own private room in the warehouse...remember that room? Ben, Jessa and Joy used it a bit ago...

Cindy looks good, but a little botoxed and cheek filler-ish IMO. Michelle's face looks pretty good for a 47 year old, and she's looking less osteoporosis  hunched lately. Her style is just so frumpy and dated.

 

When Derick complimented the food he said "Good job Jill" even though it was obvious both Jill and Jana prepared the mill. I wonder if he neglected to thank Jana because everyone else always neglects to thank Jana or he was annoyed to come home from work and find yet another Duggar sibling in his home.

Eh, that's what love sick people do = ignore everyone except the person they luuuvvvv.

 

Jessa really has no F#@*''s left to give does she?  Last week walking around the florist arms crossed and refusing to even try and name flowers and this week it's we'll register for whatever.  I think Jill and Derrick would have spent 20 minutes deciding over the dishes with flowers or the dishes with kittens..........Jessa's just like dishes yeah we need those here's a set scan.  Her whole attitude is get this over with and I'm outta this house.

Race to the Altar? From Jessa's demeanor, I think it would be more like a turtle race to the altar. That girl shows absolutely NO interest in her own wedding...strange since she professes to be so much in love with thedashingbenseewald...strange.

I think she DOES give a f*ck, but is terrified of saying the wrong thing or showing any emotion for fear of looking inexperienced, stupid, goofy like her family, etc. That girl is scared to death of not appearing perfect, so she just shrugs, snarks, deflects, or acts uninterested. It's easier to have no opinion than to have your real opinion questioned or constantly be told you're wrong. I think Jessa WANTS to gush a little bit and let loose a little more, but she's just so afraid to.

[Sew Sumi]

When Derick complimented the food he said "Good job Jill" even though it was obvious both Jill and Jana prepared the mill. I wonder if he neglected to thank Jana because everyone else always neglects to thank Jana or he was annoyed to come home from work and find yet another Duggar sibling in his home.

This scenario would suppose that Derick drove himself to and from work. Since we know that really didn't happen, and Jill left Jana to pick Derick up, we have yet another TLC-manipulated scene with Derick coming in through the front door as if his clingy wife wasn't really conjoined to his hip aside from the hours that he MUST work. 

[Gianthambeast]

Yet another thing that annoys me about them: Their stinginess with hospitality and their greediness for gifts.  I don't think stinting wedding guests is biblical.  I thought a wedding feast was supposed to be the opposite, as in generously celebrating with the guests and not just proclaiming "I'm getting married so gimme stuff!"  Maybe Ben and Jessa think they're being righteously frugal, but it just shows their total lack of good breeding. 

Edited March 12, 2015 by Gianthambeast

[DangerousMinds]

It's Nepalese. And having spent a year in that part of the world myself, eating the same diet as Derick, I can tell you he wasn't impressed with the rice. Just silly, when all she needed to do was buy a bag of Jasmine or Basmati rice and for every cup of rice she adds 1. 33 cups of water and brings it to boil then let's it simmer, covered, for 15 minutes. Simple.

Or use a simple rice steamer. That's been my favorite kitchen gadget for 20+ years. Simple and easy to clean up, plus you can steam your meat and veggies in it too. With all the kitchen items on her registry, she did not receive one of these?

[Micks Picks]

Funny, but I thought the little bit about the bible that I remember was something about a wedding feast that Jesus went to.  Now didn't he change water into a good wine since the wedding party ran out.  Jesus didn't want the guests to be stiffed or the bridal couple to feel foolish for not providing well for their guests.  

[Gianthambeast]

Funny, but I thought the little bit about the bible that I remember was something about a wedding feast that Jesus went to.  Now didn't he change water into a good wine since the wedding party ran out.  Jesus didn't want the guests to be stiffed or the bridal couple to feel foolish for not providing well for their guests.  

The Duggars will only spring for grape Kool-Aid. :/

Edited March 12, 2015 by Gianthambeast

[andromeda331]

The Duggars will only spring for grape Kool-Aid. :/

 

 

Or grape juice since they believe Jesus turned really turned it into grape juice instead of wine.

[ShaNaeNae]

Eh, that's what love sick people do = ignore everyone except the person they luuuvvvv.

 

Yeah, no pass from me. Being in love is no reason to lose your manners or lose your process of thinking clearly. So far, all we've seen from this family is when someone is starry-eyed, they don't need to worry about chores or responsibilities. They don't have to work, they get to hang out 24/7 and just spend their days being in love. As if Jana doesn't get skipped over a lot on everything else, he could have thanked her too.

 

I think she DOES give a f*ck, but is terrified of saying the wrong thing or showing any emotion for fear of looking inexperienced, stupid, goofy like her family, etc. That girl is scared to death of not appearing perfect, so she just shrugs, snarks, deflects, or acts uninterested. It's easier to have no opinion than to have your real opinion questioned or constantly be told you're wrong. I think Jessa WANTS to gush a little bit and let loose a little more, but she's just so afraid to.

 

 

I see what you mean. She's almost like a teenager who has to act so cool. She likes to come off at this hard ass and she's coming across like she thinks she's just too cool.

[trimthatfat]

 

I think she DOES give a f*ck, but is terrified of saying the wrong thing or showing any emotion for fear of looking inexperienced, stupid, goofy like her family, etc. That girl is scared to death of not appearing perfect, so she just shrugs, snarks, deflects, or acts uninterested. It's easier to have no opinion than to have your real opinion questioned or constantly be told you're wrong. I think Jessa WANTS to gush a little bit and let loose a little more, but she's just so afraid to.

I agree. Jessa seems like someone who is very aware of how she comes off on camera.

[Literata]

 

When Derick complimented the food he said "Good job Jill"

 

I thought he said, "Good job, guys." I'll have to watch again.

 

 

Michelle's face looks pretty good for a 47 year old

 

That's the thing. I'm not a Michelle fan, but she's really very pretty -- all the more reason to cut that mess of hair. 

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Yeah, Derick said "good job Jill" but in his TH he gave credit to both girls.

[xls]

I thought he said, "Good job, guys." I'll have to watch again.

 

 

That's the thing. I'm not a Michelle fan, but she's really very pretty -- all the more reason to cut that mess of hair. 

She does have very nice features.

 

Did any find the preview where JB tells BS he's going to "show you how to kiss her" creepy? I wasn't looking at the screen when I heard it, so you can imagine how shocked I was! LOL

[Literata]

 

Did any find the preview where JB tells BS he's going to "show you how to kiss her" creepy?

 

Yes. I was honestly afraid he was going to kiss Jessa. 

[Wellfleet]

Yet another thing that annoys me about them: Their stinginess with hospitality and their greediness for gifts.  I don't think stinting wedding guests is biblical.  I thought a wedding feast was supposed to be the opposite, as in generously celebrating with the guests and not just proclaiming "I'm getting married so gimme stuff!"  Maybe Ben and Jessa think they're being righteously frugal, but it just shows their total lack of good breeding. 

 

Agree, and IMO the Duggars' toxic level of frugality, stinginess and outright cheapness is not a fundie thing at all. The Kellers - clearly less well-off than the Duggars - gave a far nicer wedding for Anna and Josh. This industrial-strength cheapness is entirely and completely Boob all the way. I don't think he actually started out that way, but he quickly became accustomed to getting "love offerings" and other kinds of help from church "friends." Then - being the big visionary that he is - according to Mechelle at least - he translated that into "let's see how much we can grab from X..." I think the massive bridal registries - and now baby registries - are not only going to whichever Duggar couple, but filling up that warehouse they recently emptied to raise $$ for Arkansas Children's Hospital. And a nice fat tax credit too probably. A tax credit for him, but paid for by all the people kind enough to buy things at their event.

Edited March 12, 2015 by Wellfleet

[xls]

Yes. I was honestly afraid he was going to kiss Jessa. 

Thank God, I wasn't the only one! National Lampoon Vacation raced through my mind.

[Absolom]

Ratings:  2.143 M viewers and a .8 rating.  The episodes with even a hint of wedding in the title seem to do better.

[Lucygirl2]

These people's obsession with modesty makes me shake my head.  There is nothing wrong (or remotely immodest) with working out in a pair of track pants & a t-shirt long enough to cover your ass.  They draw so much attention to the fact that they are trying to be modest that most of us wouldn't give it a second thought if they didn't point it out every few seconds. 

 

The fact that Jim Bob is even thinking about Ben & Jessa kissing & needing to teach them how was a real ewww moment for me.  It makes me think JB was up all night after Jill's wedding wondering if "it" happened yet.

[msblossom]

Why was Jills face so puffy looking while cooking? It wasn't pregnancy swelling, but more like first thing in the morning..just exaggerated.

Puffed up = PRIDE. Haha!

She's so proud of herself for attempting to make something other than some dumb casserole or smoothie.

[Betweenyouandme]

I think it's great Jill branched out with her cooking.

[msblossom]

I think it's great Jill branched out with her cooking.

Actually, I am too. And I hope she branches out in other ways that are different from the way she was brought up.

That said, Jill really bugs me with -- well, just about everything, but specifically her self satisfaction, she gives herself way too much credit for stuff that is just ordinary. I'll stop there.

[RazzleberryPie]

Actually, I am too. And I hope she branches out in other ways that are different from the way she was brought up.

That said, Jill really bugs me with -- well, just about everything, but specifically her self satisfaction, she gives herself way too much credit for stuff that is just ordinary. I'll stop there.

Yet she can't boil rice from a box.........

[Betweenyouandme]

Actually, I am too. And I hope she branches out in other ways that are different from the way she was brought up.

That said, Jill really bugs me with -- well, just about everything, but specifically her self satisfaction, she gives herself way too much credit for stuff that is just ordinary. I'll stop there.

Oh, that's fine. I love Jill, but I'm not the most productive person in the world either.

[JoanArc]

 

That said, Jill really bugs me with -- well, just about everything, but specifically her self satisfaction, she gives herself way too much credit for stuff that is just ordinary. I'll stop there.

 

The Duggars, and all the other fundie families, do that.

We woke up this morning, put on clean clothes, and ate breakfast! Incredible! We do things a little differently than other families, but somehow we make it all work. Give us money!

[Betweenyouandme]

The Duggars, and all the other fundie families, do that.

We woke up this morning, put on clean clothes, and ate breakfast! Incredible! We do things a little differently than other families, but somehow we make it all work. Give us money!

Imo, it's all the other fundie families *on TV or with big online presences.*

[JoanArc]

Imo, it's all the other fundie families *on TV or with big online presences.*

 

I agree, thanks for clarifying. They're the only ones the outside world has access to for comparison.

[abseedee]

At the age of 7 I learned to wash and then cook rice over a gas stove and then stand just near enough the stove to watch until all the boiling bubbles disappeared before lowering the fire and still do it the same way to this day.  Well, except standing there watching until all the boiling bubbles disappeared =). 

After her first attempt at cooking rice from a box I hope Jill at least gets it now.

Edited March 12, 2015 by abseedee

[xls]

The Duggars, and all the other fundie families, do that.

We woke up this morning, put on clean clothes, and ate breakfast! Incredible! We do things a little differently than other families, but somehow we make it all work. Give us money!

We let one of our women drive a backhoe! Aren't we great?

[MarkySnark]

Okay, did I really see JB preparing to show Jessa and Ben the correct way to kiss on the previews? Eeeeeeewwwww

What I really hope we don't see is JB on the wedding night in Bin and JessaBlessa's room telling Bin, "No! No! That's not where you put that thing!"

[Pasha Kitty]

I am officially appalled.  Rice and lentils are two dishes I can toss together while almost asleep.  Jill tried to make it sound like some complicated hours long production.  She used instant rice on top of that.  Those poor kids have learned almost zero about cooking.  

Agreed, but at least Jana was honest when she said, while talking about the big authentic Nepali dinner, something like 'we usually just make things like tater tot casserole'.  But, I am surprised that they have not mastered the art of cooking rice.

 

Derek eating with his hands skeeved me out.  My friends from India have done that when I've eaten dinner at their house, and I loose my appetite.  Something about eating moist food with one's hands and then seeing the dirty fingers..... just gross, IMO.  

 

JoyAnna is the beauty of that family!  Sure, Jessa is the 'queen', but she knows it, so to me it's not pretty.  Joy has a very beautiful face + a petite and curvy figure. 

[cereality]

The "let me show you how to kiss" promo is gross, and frankly why stop there. Why not keep going with -- "well I'm not going to drop trou to demonstrate wedding night activities, but Ben - when you put it in my baby girl for the first time - you need to make sure to . . . ."

Agreed, but at least Jana was honest when she said, while talking about the big authentic Nepali dinner, something like 'we usually just make things like tater tot casserole'.  But, I am surprised that they have not mastered the art of cooking rice.

 

Derek eating with his hands skeeved me out.  My friends from India have done that when I've eaten dinner at their house, and I loose my appetite.  Something about eating moist food with one's hands and then seeing the dirty fingers..... just gross, IMO.  

 

JoyAnna is the beauty of that family!  Sure, Jessa is the 'queen', but she knows it, so to me it's not pretty.  Joy has a very beautiful face + a petite and curvy figure. 

I liked Jana's honesty on more than one occasion saying -- we usually eat things like TTC. It was also nice to see her enjoy a fresh meal full of veggies, since I have a feeling they don't get that too often at the Duggar home. Sad to say -- she looked miserable though. She had the same look the whole time she was cooking as she did when she was altering the bridesmaid dresses -- the -- others can cook/sew, I'm not sure why I have to do this. It also seemed to me like her and Jill aren't close and had nothing to say to each other. I know a lot of this show now is just playing a part for the cameras, but I think they are allowed to/encouraged to talk and if the cameras don't want to use that -- they edit out that section. I feel like sisters who used to live together up until a few months and now they don't -- when they see each other, they chatter. I just don't sense that "easy" relationship between her and Jill -- the way I see between Jessa and Jinger or Joy and Amy or Amy and Grandma; it's like the only times they spoke, it was about the recipe/the task at hand.

[leighroda]

So I'm catching up on my DVR, and normally I read the thread before I comment, but I can't... I'm at the part when Ben and Jessa are registering, and there is a talking head of Jordyn and Josie, and Josie is saing she would register for bread and peanut butter, but when she said it she looked and sounded just like Michelle because, well, she said it like a 5 year old... I just thought that was funny.

[xls]

Agreed, but at least Jana was honest when she said, while talking about the big authentic Nepali dinner, something like 'we usually just make things like tater tot casserole'.  But, I am surprised that they have not mastered the art of cooking rice.

 

Derek eating with his hands skeeved me out.  My friends from India have done that when I've eaten dinner at their house, and I loose my appetite.  Something about eating moist food with one's hands and then seeing the dirty fingers..... just gross, IMO.  

 

JoyAnna is the beauty of that family!  Sure, Jessa is the 'queen', but she knows it, so to me it's not pretty.  Joy has a very beautiful face + a petite and curvy figure. 

What I know from the movie Outsourced (set in India) is that you eat with the right hand while the left is reserved for "wiping" oneself after going  to the bathroom.

[Pasha Kitty]

Agreed, XLS.  "What I know from the movie Outsourced (set in India) is that you eat with the right hand while the left is reserved for "wiping" oneself after going  to the bathroom."  I also thought of Outsourced when I saw him eating with his hand.

 

 

[Barb23]

Jilly Muffin needs to call Alyssa (Bates) Webster for some cooking pointers. On the Bates episode tonight, when the family comes to visit her, Alyssa said she is used to cooking for 2 now & it was definitely different cooking for 21 again. We know Kelly is a better teacher than MEchelle so Alyssa must have been able to do the math to figure out how to adjust her recipes.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Jill is nearly 24 years old -- in all this time did she really never learn to cook rice? And Minute Rice is just lame and lazy.

>.> I use instant rice and mashed potatoes flakes (I work in a restaurant with late hours and don't have time to cook often as I like)

Also last night in the cooking channel I was watching Unwrapped and they showed how they make instant mashed potatoes.

[RazzleberryPie]

I liked Jana's honesty on more than one occasion saying -- we usually eat things like TTC. It was also nice to see her enjoy a fresh meal full of veggies, since I have a feeling they don't get that too often at the Duggar home. Sad to say -- she looked miserable though. She had the same look the whole time she was cooking as she did when she was altering the bridesmaid dresses -- the -- others can cook/sew, I'm not sure why I have to do this. It also seemed to me like her and Jill aren't close and had nothing to say to each other. I know a lot of this show now is just playing a part for the cameras, but I think they are allowed to/encouraged to talk and if the cameras don't want to use that -- they edit out that section. I feel like sisters who used to live together up until a few months and now they don't -- when they see each other, they chatter. I just don't sense that "easy" relationship between her and Jill -- the way I see between Jessa and Jinger or Joy and Amy or Amy and Grandma; it's like the only times they spoke, it was about the recipe/the task at hand.

People talk about Jess or Jinger being 'over it" but I think Jana's the one who is ready for the dog and pony show to end. Jessa is a total Koolaid drinker, but acts smug and snarky because she's terrified of looking stupid, naive, off, or just plain weird. It's better to act like you don't care than show how much you do care.

 

Jinger is Jessa's lapdog and rolls her eyes bc she thinks she and her family are too cool for school (maybe that's why they can't seem to read or follow a recipe), but she's neck deep in kool-aid, too.

 

Jana, bless her heart, looks defeated, exhausted and like she's one step away from screaming or strangling either Michelle or Jill. Michelle has disliked her since she was in utero , though (rewatch the one where she talks about all the deliveries) and they've tried to smother the life out of Jana for 25 years now. I'd love for Jana and Joy, who seem bonded and smarter or maybe just more aware than most of them, run out of there together.

[msblossom]

>.> I use instant rice and mashed potatoes flakes (I work in a restaurant with late hours and don't have time to cook often as I like)

Also last night in the cooking channel I was watching Unwrapped and they showed how they make instant mashed potatoes.

DoctorsCompanion, I apologize; my post came across harsh and judgmental. I really meant it toward the Duggars & Jill. You are not lame or lazy! And it's understandable that you'd want something quick and easy, and everyone's taste is different. No one persons is better, just different. Ugh, insert foot :(

[andromeda331]

Poor Jana. She really can't go anywhere without having to work. A trip to DC? She gets to babysit. A visit to her sister's house. She gets to cook a special dinner for her brother-in-law.

[GEML]

This is why I can't decide if Jana is simply an unhappy person or if she's a happy person who has been beaten down. (Likely some combination.). She simply never seems happy - and while it seems easy to say that is the fault of her family life and parents, I keep coming back to her age, her exposure to the outside world, and the fact that I've known far too many people who left much stricter, far harsher homes with less and "somehow they made it all work."

So at what point is Jana's happiness the responsibility of Jana?

[Absolom]

Sometimes it's easier to leave a harsher home than one that isn't awful just too restrictive.  Perhaps Jana thinks she's happy or doing the right thing for herself.  I don't get a totally miserable vibe from her.  I get that she does have some resentment here and there for being taken for granted.  Given how Michelle has dealt with that in the past, Jana probably doesn't express it directly very often.

[Betweenyouandme]

Jana may be fine, just not outgoing or someone who smiles much. She may have anxiety around cameras. I saw nothing wrong with how she behaved while cooking dinner. Some people just aren't very engaging. She may be very much an introvert and happy with the focus not on her. I have not seen Jana in this episode, or ever, ask the viewers to feel sorry for her. She's expressed not being delighted to sew a lot or eat without a fork. That doesn't worry me or make me aggravated at her for not being happy and having direction in life. I hope she's okay and generally happy. I wish her all of the best. But, I didn't see anything else to really make presumptions about, especially this episode, personally.

I don't think Jana has to smile and act interested or interesting just because other people do who've had it harder. Now, I could be wrong, and she could be silently wishing everyone would cry in their milk about Poor Jana, but I can't say that is what I see when she's helping Jill cook a meal for a TV show.

[floridamom]

I was quite surprised to see Jill's facial appearance during that cooking segment..I have never seen her face and eyes look so bad. That is not "pregnancy swelling" IMO. I wonder what that was about...it looked like she got no sleep whatsoever or was having a bee sting reaction on her face! Wish they gave an explanation for that...She looked awful.

As far as Jana's demeanor goes, the Duggars have stated that Jana started out as an outgoing, happy, spunky girl....so yes, she has changed her demeanor...she looks like she has been emotionally beaten down in to submission and acceptance to conform to the "expectations" of her parents...she's their kitchen maid, cook, nanny and unappreciated daughter/sister...it's obvious to me when Jill had Jana help her out for dinner..why couldn't Jill have asked Jinger, who doesn't seem to be that busy, or Joy to help her out? Always Jana...

[jmt111]

Odd, they were so serious while cooking. Whenever I'm cooking with my daughter, sisters in law, we're always chatting (probably gossip) or my daughter will be singing some silly song, etc. we never seen that concentrated on the food.

[Zahdii]

In my opinion, Jana's 'Duggarella'.  Once Michelle started 'training' the spunk out of her and put her in charge of more and more things, eventually a large majority of the family forgot that she was something more than an indentured servant.  They know cognitively that she's daughter to JB&M, and sister to the offspring, but slowly over time they've moved Jana into the role of the person who is only there to serve them. 

 

If she were to ever break away, I think the majority of the family would be shocked, and feel betrayed.  The youngest children might feel that their mother figure has abandoned them, and feel grief over having her gone, but I think the rest would only resent her for leaving and be angry that she didn't follow the party line.  They'd never understand what they've done to her, they'd just decide that maybe she wasn't as wonderful as they all were, and start smugly spouting off things like "Hate the sin, not the sinner", while privately assuring themselves that they always knew that Jana really wasn't up to snuff.

[andromeda331]

As far as Jana's demeanor goes, the Duggars have stated that Jana started out as an outgoing, happy, spunky girl....so yes, she has changed her demeanor...she looks like she has been emotionally beaten down in to submission and acceptance to conform to the "expectations" of her parents...she's their kitchen maid, cook, nanny and unappreciated daughter/sister...it's obvious to me when Jill had Jana help her out for dinner..why couldn't Jill have asked Jinger, who doesn't seem to be that busy, or Joy to help her out? Always Jana...

 

 

I agree. Jana never gets invited anywhere that doesn't include work for her.

[Barb23]

Odd, they were so serious while cooking. Whenever I'm cooking with my daughter, sisters in law, we're always chatting (probably gossip) or my daughter will be singing some silly song, etc. we never seen that concentrated on the food.

How true. But we know the Duggars have been raised not to laugh, have fun & goof around like the rest us. When I read your post, Thanksgiving dinner prep & cleanup in my sister-in-law's kitchen came to mind-- plenty of fun & laughter.

Edited March 13, 2015 by Barb23

[msblossom]

Odd, they were so serious while cooking. Whenever I'm cooking with my daughter, sisters in law, we're always chatting (probably gossip) or my daughter will be singing some silly song, etc. we never seen that concentrated on the food.

They got the joy, laughter & fun "blanket-trained" right out of them.