Jump to content

Type keyword(s) to search

S19.E05: Week 5


  • Reply
  • Start Topic

Recommended Posts

Chris takes the 11 remaining women to Sante Fe, N.M. While there, one bachelorette meets a "love guru" and nine ladies go rafting on the Rio Grande River. At a party, a woman from Chris' past makes an unwelcome visit; and Chris takes a leading contender on a hot air balloon ride.

Edited by OnceSane
locked thread until the show airs
Link to comment

What the fuck. One of those girls really just confused New Mexico with actual Mexico. "I've never been out of the country!"

 

EDIT: Another one also said they're going to a beach resort.

 

I hope whoever said that doesn't end up marrying Chris. I'm worried that their future kid might be the one who has to tell her Santa's not real.

Edited by VanSensei
  • Love 12
Link to comment

What in the hell am I watching here, exactly??

 

 

What a weird, sensual thing to do on like, your third date with someone.

I totally agree, but honestly having some random weirdo stand there with a creepy stoned smile and coach every step of the physical action like the couple is taking some pornographic yoga class would be weird under any conceivable circumstance. Like, even after having been married for fifty years.

Edited by Stella MD
  • Love 15
Link to comment

What a weird, sensual thing to do on like, your third date with someone. When they showed this in the preview with their shirts off, I was convinced that Chris was about to shag someone this early... which would be both a Bachelor first and also gross.

  • Love 1
Link to comment

 

Get off the Bachelor and enjoy life! Explore... you know, monogamy!

Or, the zoo, or a book, or a job.....

 

So glad they finally got to leave the country!  Yea!  Gad. I think the editors are having fun this season.

  • Love 8
Link to comment

So Michelle Money was not kidding that Britt doesn't shower? WTF?

It's not like this is The Bachelor: (insert name of failed state here) where they don't have running water. They live in a mansion probably worth more than the GDP of some nations.

 

@FlyingEgret: I agree, it's weird. I'm a guy, but I've had really bad acne for a long time, so I've tried some of the face creams and stuff. Having stuff on your face while you're asleep is uncomfortable.

Edited by VanSensei
  • Love 2
Link to comment

Oh my my my my ... Kelsey. Full on whack job. Wowsers. This is like movie-character psycho. Who knew Ashley Onion wasn't actually the craziest?

#GoneGirl

Edited by TiaLou
  • Love 8
Link to comment

Wow, now I'm wondering what the family of HER dead husband is going to think of her performance.  At least she doesn't have a kid that's going to watch mommy look like a delusional psycho on TV.

 

I don't think she was joking in any way.

  • Love 5
Link to comment

I dunno - I think tongue-in-cheek regarding a dead husband is crazy. Plus that last talking head was flat-out batshit.

 

Guidance counselor, eh? Methinks she won't be tasked with being responsible for the psychological well-being of any impressionable teens anytime soon.

  • Love 5
Link to comment

It was Megan who thought New Mexico was another country.

Carly would be a lot cuter if she had those eyebrows professionally shaped. They're like apostrophes.

Maybe she needed a waxing guru, not a love guru.

The issue of Jordan shouldn't have to do with anything other than whether or not Chris saw her as a potential wife. Ashley I was being juvenile about it, like Jordan was cutting in front of her in line. Ashley is clearly someone used to being the prettiest in the group, and does not like when she's not number one.

Watching on delay, so I'm way behind you guys.

Edited by backformore
  • Love 4
Link to comment

Was that Megan who thought that New Mexico was a beach locale out of the country?! OMG. New lows of stupidity.

Thank goodness when they panned down the love guru was wearing a tube top! I really thought she just had that scarf tossed over her shoulder and nothing else. What an awkward first date, but I suppose this was because of Chelsey's sob story of not being touched and her great need of being in a reciprocal relationship...while being one of 30 women in a relationship with Chris. (Jotting on my imaginary application: I have a phobia of spa dates and being given large sums of cash.) Yet, they did have the best, deep conversation we've seen yet.

Return of the black booty-blocking box! Is normal temperature hypothermia a real thing? My hands and feet are always like ice cubes; maybe I have that. That's one way to whittle down the competition: a contestant or two overboard.

Drunk Jordan? Is she the one who wore the shorts on night one and drank a LOT of whiskey and almost fell off the stand during the RC? If that's her, she looks/acts very different sober. Kardashley is saying Jordan needs to grow up and be marriage material like her? And now Whitney isn't "real" like she is?! I think Kardashley must live in some alternate reality in which she has no self-perception whatsoever. This is more mind-blowing than the foreign land of New Mexico!

What's with Britt being surprised awakened with full, sparkly makeup? Oh, she puts it on before bed. And what happened to her legitimate, deathly fear of heights?! Oh. Thanks again, Carly. Britt is super manipulative: I want no kids/I want 100 kids! Yeah, fake, fake, fake. I bet she even secretly showers and just pretends that her hair looks that good without being washed for several weeks.

Kelsey: "Isn't my story amazing!? Tragic and amazing! I had to tel him my story so we can have our first kiss!...You can watch her pick up the pieces. Mondays at 8, you can watch the love story unveil." What the fuck? Her young, healthy husband died after walking ONE BLOCK and she can hardly remember the term congestive heart failure?! She killed him, right? Possibly. Allegedly. I think thus might be a 20/20 crossover special. I'm waiting for the voiceover: "She wanted a rose, but would Chris get stuck with a thorn?" Kelsey saying she's not going home. Prediction: she will and then will collapse on the floor in a panic attack and that's why they call the paramedic. OMG. Ashley and Michaela all upset that Kelsey has a more tragic story than they do. Why do they think the most tragic life story gets a husband?! Oh! She didn't even get sent home (yet) and is having a panic attack! Is this how Sanderson died?!

  • Love 20
Link to comment

Carly, shown in bed with full eye makeup, talks about how Britt sleeps in her makeup.

Britt, on getting the date card, cries that she's terrified of heights. Then the hot-air balloon ride made her laugh. Sorry, honey, you are not afraid of heights. I would have had sweaty palms, racing heart, full panic.

  • Love 15
Link to comment

Well that was just weird. Honestly I was mortified for Carly and Chris during their date. I couldn't even look at my screen I was so embarrassed for that. Just no.

Yea Kelsey has been getting a tiny bad girl edit but now, it's just psychotic. Isn't my story amazing and tragic? (Said about dead husband while grinning excitedly) remind me whether they do psyche tests on the contestants?

I seriously couldn't look at Britt after the shower comments and see her kissing Chris without gagging a bit. Gross

  • Love 5
Link to comment

I like Becca because she is not fucked up, she doesn't drone on about her "story," and she avoids confrontation. I hope she doesn't win, so that she re-enters the real world and is available for normal-seekers such as myself.

 

Carly is the definition of adorkable, and I have come around on her. I love how she just came out and declared the stripping awkward, which rescued a pretty awful situation.

 

Ashley remains as annoying as ever. Britt made me cringe and scream "Shower!!" every time she touched Chris. Whitney has become too serious and mean-faced for me. Megan is losing IQ points by the day. Kelsey was too nonchalant about her "story," but I don't think she was too far away from having a healthy outlook. I do think it was incredibly calculated to break out the story at this point, though.

  • Love 2
Link to comment

Serious question: How is Farmer Chris's brain so full of hammers that he can't figure out that he needed to ixnay the Jordan return immediately? If they're all so into the precious "time together," why would he waste it with a debate over Jordan? This is a dumb show but that was egregiously stupid. AND, and! What's up with the unscheduled time so that Psycho Kelsey could go work her bizarre magic on him? You'd think with such little time, they'd be scheduled to the teeth, but looks like there's lots more hanging out than I expected.

Lint brains: Megan, Mackenzie, Kardashley

Not so awful: Whitney, Becca, Kaitlyn (who is pretty damn funny; she's too smart for Farmer Chris)

Could be OK If she wasn't so miserable: Carly

Fake but it doesn't bother me: Britt

Spoiled so I'll keep my mouth shut: Jade

Psychotic: Kelsey

Who's left? Samantha? No opinion on her whatsoever. Has she even said anything?

Edited by TiaLou
  • Love 4
Link to comment

Is Chris really so clueless as to think that is how Britt looks naturally?  Most women learn from a very early age that it's a big no-no to go to bed with one's makeup on.

I could maybe buy into "clueless" if Britt had been wearing a more "natural'" look. But sparkly silver eye shadow? How could anyone miss that?
  • Love 1
Link to comment

Hoo boy! Where to start:

 

  • I cannot watch or take Female Keanu (widow Kelsey) and Ashley I. any longer. They are both physically and emotionally unattractive. Their personalities are grating, and they are not appealing nor sympathetic. Female Keanu sells her dead husband for five minutes of face sucking? That poor corpse is dizzy from spinning in his grave. Also, I thought Ashley I. dressed like a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance with that groin high (virgin LOL) white tutu she was wearing. It's too bad she couldn't dance herself off the show.
  • That 50 Shades of Grey sequence with the "love guru" was as sexy as watching fungus grow. It's a good thing Carly and Chris showed some restraint.
  • There are too many bunny boilers on this season. Eliminated ladies (I'm looking at you, Jordan), there was a reason why  you were sent home. With apologies, he. just. wasn't. into. you. Didn't Fleiss hire a clinical psychiatrist for the ladies going home? It may be "good television," but it's getting out of hand.
  • You can tell Britt is an actress. The makeup at bedtime, the rehearsed lines. I'm beginning to believe what many are saying about her: She doesn't want Chris. She wants a guy to propose to her when she becomes the next Bachelorette.
  • "New Mexico girl?" Please get off my screen, NOW!!!!!!!!!
Edited by Nedsdag
  • Love 2
Link to comment

tonight's fool's edit goes to...Megan

delusional beyotch edit goes to...it's a tie! Ashley I and Kelsey

 

I was looking forward to seeing which crazies were going to be given the boot at the rose ceremony, there are several I want gone. What a gyp!

Good to see Sam got in a sentence at the end, geesh. I wasn't even 100% sure of who it was sitting there mute all week, so I'm guessing she's on her way out unless the editors are pulling a fast one.

  • Love 3
Link to comment

Wait, is the dramatic turn for this show that they just totally skipped the screening for mental stability this season?  Is that the bombshell that Chris Harrison will reveal on ATFR?

OR - they did the screening, but for the opposite reason than you are implying.  Maybe they didn't want to weed OUT the psychos, they wanted to make sure to include a few.  

  • Love 6
Link to comment

Has to be!

 

Wow, now I'm wondering what the family of HER dead husband is going to think of her performance.  At least she doesn't have a kid that's going to watch mommy look like a delusional psycho on TV.

 

 

This is exactly my thought too I keep thinking wow I hope the mom of her former husband is not watching this.  Isn't my story great?  Uhhhh wow.

  • Love 3
Link to comment

It looks like the whole "my story" line is an ongoing thing for Kelsey. She has a website at www.anomalyme.com that says "Kelsey Poe, Her Story" and says that it will go live in March 2015. And her FB page description says "Kelsey's personal story is as dynamic as her personality." Maybe she is planning to write a book or be a Dr. Phil type?

  • Love 1
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...