Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[kristen111]

On 4/10/2024 at 6:19 PM, annzeepark914 said:

I think we are our own moderators right now. I hope everything will calm down. We've had such a nice, kind & caring group. Let's stay here and keep it a welcoming, accepting place where folks can feel free venting about whatever's bugging them. 

Yes, and I don’t think it’s so hard to be kind and respectful to other posters even if you do not agree with them.  There are worse things in this world right now.

Plus.. Yay .. I’ve just remembered my “ignore” button. 😀

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 12 by kristen111

[SoMuchTV]

Okay, my peeve is that I’ve been following this thread and the chit chat thread on a fairly frequent basis, but I have no idea what some posters are so upset about. Did some posts get deleted?  All I see is some normal back-and-forth and maybe agree-to-disagree stuff. I should probably shut up and back away now. 

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Just came on.  I don’t know who you both are talking about, but lately there has been lots of criticism and backlash on certain threads.  It’s not like it used to be where everyone respected each others opinions.  Too bad.  Was nice while it lasted.  People are leaving and I don’t blame them.

I've noticed that about the criticism.  On some threads I feel like I can't have an opinion without having it challenged and picked apart.

I used to moderate a chat board years ago.  If you don't have tight moderation forget it, everything is going to devolve and turn into nothing but trolls and conflict.  We can't be expected to police ourselves.  Just imagine if we had to do that in society.  It wouldn't work, it would devolve into vigilante groups.  The bad people know when the cat's away and come out to harass people for kicks.  I don't know why people keep thinking they are going to reinvent the wheel.  Sometimes things are the way they are for a good reason.  

Above I was referring to @JTMacc99, the former moderator on this thread, who posted the pinned message at the top of the page that says our pet peeves are our pet peeves and we should feel free to express them.  I said it was sad that I noticed they haven't posted in about a month.  

23 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

Okay, my peeve is that I’ve been following this thread and the chit chat thread on a fairly frequent basis, but I have no idea what some posters are so upset about. Did some posts get deleted?  All I see is some normal back-and-forth and maybe agree-to-disagree stuff. I should probably shut up and back away now. 

I just got caught up here and I feel like some exchange must have gotten deleted before I saw it.  It had to be recent because until a few minutes ago I was up to date as of this morning and I don't remember anything to be upset about.

[JustHereForFood]

Surely there is possible to have a compromise between "Everyone can say anything no matter how insensitive" type of anarchy and a "People are scared to voice their fairly moderate opinions because everything will be called out" over-policing? I know everything is evolving into extremes now and being moderate is almost considered an insult, which is IMO kind of scary. 

I think it worked fine here before with the moderation 🤷‍♀️.

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

Surely there is possible to have a compromise between "Everyone can say anything no matter how insensitive" type of anarchy and a "People are scared to voice their fairly moderate opinions because everything will be called out" over-policing? I know everything is evolving into extremes now and being moderate is almost considered an insult, which is IMO kind of scary. 

I think it worked fine here before with the moderation 🤷‍♀️.

I agree completely.  BTW, I think this place is a reflection of what I notice going on in our society today - that everything is evolving into extremes and being moderate is almost considered an insult and yes, I think that's scary.

[JustHereForFood]

A separate peeve (or maybe slightly related, since it's about internet): I joined Tumblr a couple of days ago and my experience is mostly very positive. Still, I was slightly surprised to find that there are some pretty toxic people in my favorite fandom. By toxic, I mean being very much invested in the private lives of the actors and posting some weird and inappropriate comments about their (female, what a surprise, right?) partners. Sounds like someone is jealous to an unhealthy degree. I know, not a big problem compared to everything else, but it kind of pisses me off that there are people being so nasty to such kind people. It reminded me of when I had too much time recently and went to an unnamed tabloid website (rhymes with fail) to check for some pictures of dresses from award ceremonies. The comments there were horrible, but I sadly expected that considering where I was. I though Tumblr would be the cool place - and it mostly is, I don't know why it got me so much to see maybe 1% of the posters like that. It's like there is always some small part of every group that is toxic, but they can often be the loudest and bring a bad name to the entire group. I am debating between blocking such people to preserve my mental health when it comes to my comfort TV and keeping reading it because I'm mildly curious what else they can come up with.

[kristen111]

On 4/9/2024 at 6:00 PM, isalicat said:

I feel ya! Rent is so expensive here in coastal central California that you now need to make about $50. an hour to afford a basic one bedroom....The house next door to me is two bedrooms and one bathroom and no pets allowed: it goes for $2400 per month! (no I don't live right next to the beach or anything...about a mile away from the surf). There is a major university nearby (Cal Poly SLO) and they are having a really hard time recruiting new faculty because the incoming people can't afford to rent or buy a house, despite quite reasonable salaries, academically speaking. And they wonder why people are leaving California in droves!

It’s no better on Long Island.  Every week the food goes up .  My Condo dues went to over $800 per month.

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

It’s no better on Long Island.  Every week the food goes up.

Grocery prices are out of control.  The ShopRite here raised its prices recently and now there are fewer people in the store all the time.  I heard a piece on the local TV news that here in CT a gov't panel is going to look into getting the supermarkets to lower their prices because of a recent study that showed that our supermarket chains netted a spike in profits in 2023 of about 7%, way above any profit increases in previous years.  That even factors in inflation so it's not that.  They're just getting greedy now.  Many of the things I buy are twice the price they were in 2020.  I keep some of my receipts so I remember what things used to cost.

[Bastet]

6 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

By toxic, I mean being very much invested in the private lives of the actors and posting some weird and inappropriate comments about their (female, what a surprise, right?) partners.

An old friend of mine is married to a B-list celebrity, and thrilled beyond measure that he keeps a low profile in general and specifically keeps his personal life private, because of what gets posted by and to the girlfriends/wives of so many men in the public eye.

[kristen111]

2 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Grocery prices are out of control.  The ShopRite here raised its prices recently and now there are fewer people in the store all the time.  I heard a piece on the local TV news that here in CT a gov't panel is going to look into getting the supermarkets to lower their prices because of a recent study that showed that our supermarket chains netted a spike in profits in 2023 of about 7%, way above any profit increases in previous years.  That even factors in inflation so it's not that.  They're just getting greedy now.  Many of the things I buy are twice the price they were in 2020.  I keep some of my receipts so I remember what things used to cost.

Husband got the free ham after spending $400.  Made it today with boiled potatoes and a big cabbage.  Then I will make a split pea soup.  Something different for a change.

[peacheslatour]

9 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Husband got the free ham after spending $400.  Made it today with boiled potatoes and a big cabbage.  Then I will make a split pea soup.  Something different for a change.

Lol, my son got a whole pork shoulder. Same type of deal. I think it weighed around three lbs. He was thrilled.

[kristen111]

8 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Lol, my son got a whole pork shoulder. Same type of deal. I think it weighed around three lbs. He was thrilled.

Good.  I love the split pea soup the best, with fresh dill and parsley.

[peacheslatour]

19 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Good.  I love the split pea soup the best, with fresh dill and parsley.

I think he made pulled pork sandwiches.

[kristen111]

13 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I think he made pulled pork sandwiches.

My Mother always told me pork had something in it that was very healthy for a person.   Maybe triptophan, or something like that.

 

 

 

[kristen111]

On 4/7/2024 at 7:57 PM, BlueSkies said:

I had in general a lousy weekend.  Besides the Dunkin Donuts incident that I talked about which I didn't think would get as much traction here...  I woke up this morning with a sore tongue and throat.  I thought maybe I got Covid again but thankfully not.  Then I lifted too much weights yesterday and woke up sore as well.   My Dad talked to me rather passive aggressively as well now about some other stuff going on.  After this post I'm logging out and just shutting it down.  

 

I know some here are probably thinking I'm a baby bitching and moaning but I have to get it out somewhere.  And besides I think humans are allowed to complain at times.  I mean not one person in the course of human history as far as I know raised up their hand and asked to be here.  

You are entitled, and this is the place.  Vent away.

[chitowngirl]

I am peeved that a friend just posted this to our group chat, “Just had a mary kay facial.  She has your phone numbers and will be contacting you with an offer for a gift card and facial ”. Why?? Just…why?? 😡

[Bastet]

10 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

I am peeved that a friend just posted this to our group chat, “Just had a mary kay facial.  She has your phone numbers and will be contacting you with an offer for a gift card and facial ”. Why?? Just…why?? 😡

Yikes, that's even worse than the classic MLM party so many have suffered through for a friend.  You don't even get any wine and hors d'oeuvres, but your friend is handing out your contact information without asking permission?  Unreal.

[Mondrianyone]

23 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

I am peeved that a friend just posted this to our group chat, “Just had a mary kay facial.  She has your phone numbers and will be contacting you with an offer for a gift card and facial ”. Why?? Just…why?? 😡

I would post back at her: "What a funny coincidence! I just signed you up as a donor with the National Kidney Foundation! They'll be contacting you shortly to get your blood type and other health info. I'm so excited that you'll be doing such a great good deed!"

And then you can decide whether to actually do it or not.

[chitowngirl]

On the plus side, I have my phone set to ring only for people in my contacts, so I won’t actually “receive” the call. 😁

[Mindthinkr]

I just saw Boston pork butt advertised for 99 cents per pound. I’m going to get one and make pulled pork. The leftovers help make a good filling for egg rolls. 

[annzeepark914]

5 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I just saw Boston pork butt advertised for 99 cents per pound. I’m going to get one and make pulled pork. The leftovers help make a good filling for egg rolls. 

I miss pulled pork, & pig pickin's in eastern NC. Until I moved to Raleigh, barbecue was a verb, meaning cooking outside on a grill. It was a bit confusing at first. One of these days I'll work up the courage 😁 to make pulled pork in my Crockpot. Or, go to a BBQ restaurant up here that does eastern NC style. 

[SoMuchTV]

4 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

One of these days I'll work up the courage 😁 to make pulled pork in my Crockpot

No courage needed, it’s pretty foolproof!

I’ve also slow-cooked and shredded boneless turkey breast for Thanksgiving barbecue. 

[PRgal]

My current peeve is with Facebook, which has way, way, too many recommended pages and posts as of late.  It's to the point that I took the app off my phone (well, it's technically hidden since I didn't outright delete it).  I found that I was just mindlessly scrolling for zero reason and it was taking too much time out of my day. 

 

Peeve 2:  Substack support!  I'm trying to edit the wordmark I uploaded on my site, but the ability to do so has disappeared.  I logged in and back out, tried different browsers, even logged myself out of Chrome and did it as a guest.  Nope, nothing.  It's a glitch on their end and they're of no help.  Their chatbot is quite intelligent, but there's no support email address to contact.

[supposebly]

6 minutes ago, PRgal said:

My current peeve is with Facebook, which has way, way, too many recommended pages and posts as of late.

I recommend trying Facebook Purity. It's a browser plugin (I don't use the app). I don't know if it works with all phones and  browsers but when it does, it cuts down on quite a lot of those unnecessary recommendations. 

https://www.fbpurity.com

[annzeepark914]

@PRgal I'm certainly no expert, but I use Facebook Lite (all I want is to post & see family/friends photos). This may not be what you're needing, but it cut down a lot of stuff Facebook was "offering".

[emma675]

1 hour ago, chitowngirl said:

I am peeved that a friend just posted this to our group chat, “Just had a mary kay facial.  She has your phone numbers and will be contacting you with an offer for a gift card and facial ”. Why?? Just…why?? 😡

Ugh, mlms are a permanent peeve of mine. If you want to go nuclear with revenge, sign her up for Scientology emails. They will follow her until the end of time.

[Yeah No]

People who don't read the room before they open their mouths.  When communicating to people I try to be sensitive to how they might feel when I say something and if I think I might come off as badgering or interrogating them I stop it and try to find another way to approach them, perhaps with more sensitivity.  My intentions aren't as important as how they might perceive them.  I don't always get it right myself but at least I try.  And when I find out I've crossed a line with them at least I'll apologize!

[Anela]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

People who don't read the room before they open their mouths.  When communicating to people I try to be sensitive to how they might feel when I say something and if I think I might come off as badgering or interrogating them I stop it and try to find another way to approach them, perhaps with more sensitivity.  My intentions aren't as important as how they might perceive them.  I don't always get it right myself but at least I try.  And when I find out I've crossed a line with them at least I'll apologize!

Same.  All of it.  

I could go into a long vent about this, but it would be too long.  So I’ll add another small peeve: national sibling day. I have no relationship with mine.
 

I loathe the fact that romantic relationships and marriage have been pushed so much that they were considered to be the most important relationships.  they weren’t for me.  
 

Edited April 12 by Anela

[Bastet]

6 minutes ago, Anela said:

So I’ll add another small peeve: national sibling day.

I thought you meant that's today, and I was going to see if knowing it's also National Grilled Cheese Day perked you up any, but I just looked up the sibling day (I'd never heard of it, just as I'd never heard of the grilled cheese day until this morning) and that was two days ago.  Yesterday was National Pet Day.

Which got me curious: Have we reached the point where every single date on the calendar is now National Something Day according to someone somewhere?  I looked it up, and apparently we have.  So add that to my list of peeves.

[Anela]

I also wonder when my internal screaming will become external.  
up in the area where we go to the beach, there’s a place where you can go to break things.  I’ve never been, because I felt guilty, the one time I threw a mug on purpose, but I might try it.  I laughed when we first passed it, because it’s right next to a yoga studio, and I think the other side was a vaping store.  

4 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I thought you meant that's today, and I was going to see if knowing it's also National Grilled Cheese Day perked you up any, but I just looked up the sibling day (I'd never heard of it, just as I'd never heard of the grilled cheese day until this morning) and that was two days ago.  Yesterday was National Pet Day.

Which got me curious: Have we reached the point where every single date on the calendar is now National Something Day according to someone somewhere?  I looked it up, and apparently we have.  So add that to my list of peeves.

We’re almost out of cheese, but when we get some, I’ll make a grilled cheese.  :) thank you.  

[emma675]

4 minutes ago, Anela said:

up in the area where we go to the beach, there’s a place where you can go to break things.  I’ve never been, because I felt guilty, the one time I threw a mug on purpose, but I might try it.  

If it's one of those places where you can smash plates and cups, I highly recommend it. It's fun and therapeutic and I was actually a little sore afterwards. I guess I worked out a lot of anger. 🤣

[Bastet]

4 minutes ago, Anela said:

up in the area where we go to the beach, there’s a place where you can go to break things.

In the "Atomic Shakespeare" episode of Moonlighting (a less sexist take on The Taming of the Shrew), Katherina has an entire wall of "throwing vases".  Every time I watch that episode, I think, "I need those."

[meep.meep]

I could use a wall of throwing vases!  Close alternatives are doing demolition (sledge hammers!) and throwing axes!  The thunk is particularly satisfying.

[annzeepark914]

On 4/11/2024 at 4:59 PM, Yeah No said:

Grocery prices are out of control.  The ShopRite here raised its prices recently and now there are fewer people in the store all the time.  I heard a piece on the local TV news that here in CT a gov't panel is going to look into getting the supermarkets to lower their prices because of a recent study that showed that our supermarket chains netted a spike in profits in 2023 of about 7%, way above any profit increases in previous years.  That even factors in inflation so it's not that.  They're just getting greedy now.  Many of the things I buy are twice the price they were in 2020.  I keep some of my receipts so I remember what things used to cost.

Good. I'm glad to hear that officials somewhere are looking into what I consider price gouging (by the manufacturers). I refuse to purchase items that I believe are overpriced. Shrinkage? Yogurt containers are the most obvious for me.  But I know it's going on in a lot of products. I wait for sales on a number of products. I guess it's time to contact my Congressman. I worked for a Congressman back in the 70's so when you've got a big complaint? Let them hear from you. They'll attach your letter to a "bucking" slip and send it to the appropriate federal agency. It will get attention!

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

Good. I'm glad to hear that officials somewhere are looking into what I consider price gouging (by the manufacturers). I refuse to purchase items that I believe are overpriced. Shrinkage? Yogurt containers are the most obvious for me.  But I know it's going on in a lot of products. I wait for sales on a number of products. I guess it's time to contact my Congressman. I worked for a Congressman back in the 70's so when you've got a big complaint? Let them hear from you. They'll attach your letter to a "bucking" slip and send it to the appropriate federal agency. It will get attention!

Speaking of shrinkage, I follow a long running blog written by a lawyer up in Boston that is nationally known as a "watchdog" of sorts on "shrinkflation", or the sneaky practice of shrinking products while either keeping the price the same or even increasing it.  His name is Edgar Dworsky and he regularly is asked to appear on news programs to discuss this issue.  I have contributed it it a few times - he is very responsive and loves it when people help him in his cause.  His blog is called "Mouseprint".  He posts a new entry every Monday on all the sneaky "fine print" that companies use as disclaimers for offers and sales that render them useless or very compromised at best.  Like those coupons that have so many exclusions you can't use it on most things.  A few times a year he posts the latest products that have undergone "shrinkflation".

Here's the link to his blog:

https://www.mouseprint.org/

It appears as a column in this online newsletter:

https://www.consumerworld.org/

 

[RealHousewife]

The word boob. It's a funny sounding word. I use it because everyone else does, but boobs sounds like two years more mature than boobies to me.

[JustHereForFood]

21 hours ago, Anela said:

I loathe the fact that romantic relationships and marriage have been pushed so much that they were considered to be the most important relationships.  they weren’t for me.  

This. Yes. 100%.

[RealHousewife]

People being pushy with stuff they sell. I know a woman who insists she's not a pushy person but will ask what makeup I use and then suggest what she sells. She'll ask what my mother likes and then bring up what she sells. It's pretty routine. 

This exact attitude is part of why I avoid purchasing stuff like Mary Kay, Avon, Amway, etc. I'm sure some good people go that route for a side hustle, and I see nothing wrong with making money through sales. But there are so many pushy people who only care about money in their own wallets, it makes me want to avoid all those companies at all costs, not to mention the fact some people go that route and lose thousands of dollars because they're not aggressive. My heart goes out to them. 

[BlueSkies]

The passive-aggressive or Debbie Downer type person.  In actuality now I'm thinking of a conversation I just had with my Dad who just displayed traits of both.  I went into it feeling good but came out of it well venting about it on this site.  

 

Perhaps it's time too work on more independence.  

[peacheslatour]

55 minutes ago, BlueSkies said:

The passive-aggressive or Debbie Downer type person.  In actuality now I'm thinking of a conversation I just had with my Dad who just displayed traits of both.  I went into it feeling good but came out of it well venting about it on this site.  

 

Perhaps it's time too work on more independence.  

Emotional vampires are the worst!

[oliviabenson]

On 4/10/2024 at 4:07 PM, kristen111 said:

Better a coffee house than a Bar.  

What’s wrong with meeting in a bar? A bunch of drunk senior citizens is a hoot. 

[Bastet]

2 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

What’s wrong with meeting in a bar? A bunch of drunk senior citizens is a hoot.

My friend and I once dropped into a restaurant that was a favorite of seniors in the area so she could buy her aunt (one of those local seniors) a gift certificate.  I don't remember why we were both off on a weekday, as it was before Christmas, but it was a weekday, early afternoon.  We walked from the sunlight into this dark restaurant, and found the restaurant tables sparsely populated, but most of the bar stools and tables occupied by old folks going to town on shrimp cocktail, martinis, and the like.  We immediately declared that when we retired, we would spend our days together in just this way.

[kristen111]

43 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

What’s wrong with meeting in a bar? A bunch of drunk senior citizens is a hoot. 

But they will forget how to get home, lol.

[kristen111]

On 4/11/2024 at 9:05 PM, annzeepark914 said:

@PRgal I'm certainly no expert, but I use Facebook Lite (all I want is to post & see family/friends photos). This may not be what you're needing, but it cut down a lot of stuff Facebook was "offering".

I recently went on.  Since then, I’m getting lots of pictures of people I don’t even know.  Plus, I know very little how to navigate on Facebook, as I don’t want to engage, just talk about movies and shows I have in common.  Is “lite” for me?

[annzeepark914]

14 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I recently went on.  Since then, I’m getting lots of pictures of people I don’t even know.  Plus, I know very little how to navigate on Facebook, as I don’t want to engage, just talk about movies and shows I have in common.  Is “lite” for me?

I had this problem 2 hours ago. Lots of posts from people I never heard of. Also from some blogs. What I do when this occasionally happens: Click on 3 dots above post. When it opens, click on "show less". The picture returns and I click on the 3 dots again, then click on "block..." the source. That gets rid of the uninvited posted picture. If anyone has a better system, please share. I had to do this on about 10 pictures. I don't know why...my Facebook is private, only seen by "friends".

[BlueSkies]

I get like a lot of junk emails.  

 

But I'm told unsubscribing actually makes it worse.  

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, BlueSkies said:

I get like a lot of junk emails.  

 

But I'm told unsubscribing actually makes it worse.  

DSW thinks I must buy shoes every day, multiple times. 

It's my favorite shoe store, but who the heck needs that many emails from them?!

[annzeepark914]

30 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

DSW thinks I must buy shoes every day, multiple times. 

It's my favorite shoe store, but who the heck needs that many emails from them?!

Can you hit "spam"? That's what I do with emails from sources I've had nothing to do with (this is usually in my own subaccount, the one I use when registering at websites). I only use our joint email address to register with the NY Times & the Washington Post.

 

[RealHousewife]

2 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Can you hit "spam"? That's what I do with emails from sources I've had nothing to do with (this is usually in my own subaccount, the one I use when registering at websites). I only use our joint email address to register with the NY Times & the Washington Post.

 

I have before and will do so again! I was hoping they got their emails under control so I wouldn't have to check my junk folder to get my coupons. 

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, BlueSkies said:

I get like a lot of junk emails.  

But I'm told unsubscribing actually makes it worse.  

 

48 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

DSW thinks I must buy shoes every day, multiple times. 

It's my favorite shoe store, but who the heck needs that many emails from them?!

Legit mailers usually have an ‘unsubscribe’ and/or ‘email preferences’ option (that often actually works).  

It’s the true spammers that you shouldn’t unsubscribe or reply to. That just lets them know they got an actual person’s email, so the address becomes more valuable.