Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[BlueSkies]

I got a gift card from Dunkin' Donuts from someone for Christmas.  So every now and then I go to the Dunkin Donuts the next town over to use it for coffee.  

 

It never fails whenever I go there there is a group of the same older guys there always hanging out, crowding around, and talking loudly.  I mean there is inherently nothing wrong with that at all.  But I mean eavesdropping on their conversations the stuff they go on about is really more appropriate for a bar not the neighborhood Dunkin Donuts.  They go on and on about sports and the local scoop if you will.

 

They are off putting and annoying enough to me I think I will avoid that place for a while.  

[peacheslatour]

49 minutes ago, BlueSkies said:

I got a gift card from Dunkin' Donuts from someone for Christmas.  So every now and then I go to the Dunkin Donuts the next town over to use it for coffee.  

 

It never fails whenever I go there there is a group of the same older guys there always hanging out, crowding around, and talking loudly.  I mean there is inherently nothing wrong with that at all.  But I mean eavesdropping on their conversations the stuff they go on about is really more appropriate for a bar not the neighborhood Dunkin Donuts.  They go on and on about sports and the local scoop if you will.

 

They are off putting and annoying enough to me I think I will avoid that place for a while.  

You'd think that if the franchisee had any business sense, they would sternly discourage any kind of behavior that could make customers feel uncomfortable or hassled. I know I would kick their asses out. No loss of their measly one donut and coffee.

[StatisticalOutlier]

30 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

You'd think that if the franchisee had any business sense, they would sternly discourage any kind of behavior that could make customers feel uncomfortable or hassled.

I think we need clarification.  BlueSkies called them annoying and off-putting, that "They go on and on about sports and the local scoop if you will."  That constitutes being hassled or made uncomfortable?

I have a friend whose father owned the local restaurant for decades.  There was a group customers they called "The Coffee Drinkers"--several men who came in every morning and ordered a cup of coffee and talked.  Apparently it's a common phenomenon.  I even saw a group of what I suspect are Coffee Drinkers™ at the grocery store, in the little area where there's a Caribou Coffee counter and a couple of tables.  I saw them every time I'd go in morning, taking up all the seating, just talking.

17 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

If I never hear the word influencer ever again, it will be too soon.

Oh, I don't know...I enjoy hearing the word "influencer" when it's followed by how they imploded or at least revealed to not have the perfect life they portray.  But I know that people will flock to a different influencer with a perfect life.  They never learn. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

2 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I think we need clarification.  BlueSkies called them annoying and off-putting, that "They go on and on about sports and the local scoop if you will."  That constitutes being hassled or made uncomfortable?

I don’t understand this either. They were just talking amongst themselves. I don’t see it as being hassled. They’re not hurting anyone.

Have we reached the point where we can’t meet and just talk at coffee shops?

As a teen, when I worked at a restaurant, we had regulars, who would sit at the “bar” on the stools every weekend just to talk, joke and drink coffee or have breakfast. And they would joke with me or ask how school was going. 

[BlueSkies]

14 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I think we need clarification.  BlueSkies called them annoying and off-putting, that "They go on and on about sports and the local scoop if you will."  That constitutes being hassled or made uncomfortable?

I have a friend whose father owned the local restaurant for decades.  There was a group customers they called "The Coffee Drinkers"--several men who came in every morning and ordered a cup of coffee and talked.  Apparently it's a common phenomenon.  I even saw a group of what I suspect are Coffee Drinkers™ at the grocery store, in the little area where there's a Caribou Coffee counter and a couple of tables.  I saw them every time I'd go in morning, taking up all the seating, just talking.

Oh, I don't know...I enjoy hearing the word "influencer" when it's followed by how they imploded or at least revealed to not have the perfect life they portray.  But I know that people will flock to a different influencer with a perfect life.  They never learn. 

Hassled or uncomfortable?  No.

Annoying?  Most definitely.  They are always standing around when I walk in.  There's many Dunkin Donuts stores in America....  It's unlikely I will visit this one again any time soon because of them.  

[peacheslatour]

4 minutes ago, BlueSkies said:

Hassled or uncomfortable?  No.

Annoying?  Most definitely.  They are always standing around when I walk in.  There's many Dunkin Donuts stores in America....  It's unlikely I will visit this one again any time soon because of them.  

The hassle part comes with as Blue Skies says "crowding around, and talking loudly".  That would make me uncomfortable and what if you happen to say something they don't like? I worked in a restaurant in high school and we had the same old guys who would come in every day as soon as we opened and sit at the bar all day long. They never said one word to anyone but they drank all day. We made money off of them. I'd rather have them in my shop than the angry coffee drinkers.

[StatisticalOutlier]

4 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

The hassle part comes with as Blue Skies says "crowding around, and talking loudly". 

But in a post that probably crossed with yours, BlueSkies said, "Hassled or uncomfortable?  No."  So...no hassling is occurring.

Quote

That would make me uncomfortable and what if you happen to say something they don't like?

I'm having a really tough time imagining this scenario with someone placing an order at Dunkin Donuts. 

And besides, every day we encounter people who might not like something we say.  Why are we assuming this group is particularly dangerous in that regard? 

Quote

I'd rather have them in my shop than the angry coffee drinkers.

BlueSkies never said they were angry. 

[BlueSkies]

19 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

The hassle part comes with as Blue Skies says "crowding around, and talking loudly".  That would make me uncomfortable and what if you happen to say something they don't like? I worked in a restaurant in high school and we had the same old guys who would come in every day as soon as we opened and sit at the bar all day long. They never said one word to anyone but they drank all day. We made money off of them. I'd rather have them in my shop than the angry coffee drinkers.

I just go in there get my coffee and split.  I don't eat or sit at the tables.  

 

But the bottom line is this group of guys made this particular destination a last resort for me for the time being.  

[peacheslatour]

14 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

But in a post that probably crossed with yours, BlueSkies said, "Hassled or uncomfortable?  No."  So...no hassling is occurring.

I'm having a really tough time imagining this scenario with someone placing an order at Dunkin Donuts. 

And besides, every day we encounter people who might not like something we say.  Why are we assuming this group is particularly dangerous in that regard? 

BlueSkies never said they were angry. 

To me, loud means angry.

[StatisticalOutlier]

17 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

To me, loud means angry.

Oh, gosh.  I hear happy loud all the time.  If I read about a group of older guys hanging around at the same donut place regularly talking loud about sports and local scoop, I'd figure they were hard of hearing. 

[Bastet]

32 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Oh, gosh.  I hear happy loud all the time.  If I read about a group of older guys hanging around at the same donut place regularly talking loud about sports and local scoop, I'd figure they were hard of hearing. 

Same, since pretty much every coffee joint here has its own group of old men who congregate there every day.

[peacheslatour]

11 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Same, since pretty much every coffee joint here has its own group of old men who congregate there every day.

Lol, I guess I don't spend enough time hanging around coffee joints. My name is peacheslatour and I'm a tea-a-holic.

[Bastet]

9 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Lol, I guess I don't spend enough time hanging around coffee joints.

I don't drink coffee, so I'm never in them, either, but the old man groups occupy the outside tables here (so they can smoke, I assume [it's illegal, but generally unenforced]) so I see them.  Maybe they have territories, and there's a gang of elderly non-smokers claiming a group of indoor tables in all these places, too.

[peacheslatour]

Maybe they're in gangs! These old lady gangsters have been trying to take over our peaceful sidewalks and tea shops!

 

 

[PRgal]

I find it endearing to see seniors get together at McDonald's, Tim Horton's, Wendy's, mall foodcourts, wherever for coffee every morning.  It allows them to get out of the house and socialize.  And that's good for their health, delaying the aging process.

As for coffee itself, I'm a coffeeholic.  My mom doesn't understand how I could drink espresso because to her, it's much to bitter (okay, I typically put maybe half a teaspoon of milk, but if you gave me espresso or a cup of black coffee, I'd happily drink that).   

[oliviabenson]

Lol I see older people hanging out in coffee places, mcd, library etc. they gotta meet somewhere.

[Yeah No]

9 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

Lol I see older people hanging out in coffee places, mcd, library etc. they gotta meet somewhere.

My father was very active at his senior center for many years.  He was lucky to have a very good one.  But sadly after it lost its funding and closed he was never able to find one he liked again.  Then he started outliving everyone he knew and didn't have a lot of social outlets left.  He did go to one old fashioned Irish pub for a couple of beers and some good conversation and a local diner that had a cast of regulars, but that wasn't enough.  So he started hanging out with a group of other older men in his age bracket at the Starbucks at the Barnes and Noble in Yonkers up Central Avenue.  He went there regularly to browse the books anyway (one of his favorite pastimes) and he loved coffee, so this was destined to happen.  It started as a very impromptu thing and after a while became more regular.  They all had a lot in common.  Many were veterans and had seen active duty so they had plenty to talk about.  They got together in the mornings before the store got busy, and who cared if they took up a few chairs and tables?  There were always plenty of young people hogging up those tables with their laptops anyway.  At least they gave them some competition!

@peacheslatour, thanks for the Python reference!  I'm a tea person myself.  I love tea.  It's not that I don't love coffee, I just can't drink it.  It's the ONE weird food sensitivity I have.  Coffee has many different kinds of acids in it and I am super sensitive to one of them, which incidentally is in virtually nothing else but coffee, and is the acid most people are sensitive to in coffee.  I have been this way all my life and never knew why (no one did) until recently when this was discovered and I read about it online.  There are only a couple of brands that carry a very low or no acid coffee that I can drink, but even then I can't drink that much of it and I have to buy it on Amazon.  I can drink Frappuccino's for some reason.  I used to drink them with my father.  Yeah, I am missing him a lot lately!

[Yeah No]

22 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

It never fails whenever I go there there is a group of the same older guys there always hanging out, crowding around, and talking loudly.  I mean there is inherently nothing wrong with that at all.  But I mean eavesdropping on their conversations the stuff they go on about is really more appropriate for a bar not the neighborhood Dunkin Donuts.  They go on and on about sports and the local scoop if you will.

They are off putting and annoying enough to me I think I will avoid that place for a while.  

I think for me it would depend on how loud and how annoying they were.  I tend to give older people a lot of slack given that I'm technically one myself and not getting any younger, and realizing now first hand the challenges they face.  But I even have a line with that.   Selfish and inconsiderate people are hard to have sympathy for at any age.

One thing I know about my father is that he was never inconsiderate that way.

Edited April 7 by Yeah No

[annzeepark914]

On 4/6/2024 at 3:43 PM, peacheslatour said:

Lol, I guess I don't spend enough time hanging around coffee joints. My name is peacheslatour and I'm a tea-a-holic.

Hello, peacheslatour. My name is annzeepark and I'm an iced tea-aholic 😁.

[BlueSkies]

I had in general a lousy weekend.  Besides the Dunkin Donuts incident that I talked about which I didn't think would get as much traction here...  I woke up this morning with a sore tongue and throat.  I thought maybe I got Covid again but thankfully not.  Then I lifted too much weights yesterday and woke up sore as well.   My Dad talked to me rather passive aggressively as well now about some other stuff going on.  After this post I'm logging out and just shutting it down.  

 

I know some here are probably thinking I'm a baby bitching and moaning but I have to get it out somewhere.  And besides I think humans are allowed to complain at times.  I mean not one person in the course of human history as far as I know raised up their hand and asked to be here.  

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, BlueSkies said:

I had in general a lousy weekend.  Besides the Dunkin Donuts incident that I talked about which I didn't think would get as much traction here...  I woke up this morning with a sore tongue and throat.  I thought maybe I got Covid again but thankfully not.  Then I lifted too much weights yesterday and woke up sore as well.   My Dad talked to me rather passive aggressively as well now about some other stuff going on.  After this post I'm logging out and just shutting it down.  

I know some here are probably thinking I'm a baby bitching and moaning but I have to get it out somewhere.  And besides I think humans are allowed to complain at times.  I mean not one person in the course of human history as far as I know raised up their hand and asked to be here.  

Don't feel bad, we all get that way sometimes like I did a few pages back.  I've had that sore tongue/throat thing for a few days now.  Today when I went to the supermarket I noticed quite a few people coughing.  Maybe something's going around?  I haven't gotten sick, though.  I thought maybe it was a touch of allergies.  The pollen has been so bad the past couple of years up here I've actually had a bit of a reaction to it and I never did before.  I heard that CT had the worst pollen season of all the states last year so it's no wonder.

[emma675]

3 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Hello, peacheslatour. My name is annzeepark and I'm an iced tea-aholic 😁.

Ha, same! We should form a club.

[annzeepark914]

2 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

I had in general a lousy weekend.  Besides the Dunkin Donuts incident that I talked about which I didn't think would get as much traction here...  I woke up this morning with a sore tongue and throat.  I thought maybe I got Covid again but thankfully not.  Then I lifted too much weights yesterday and woke up sore as well.   My Dad talked to me rather passive aggressively as well now about some other stuff going on.  After this post I'm logging out and just shutting it down.  

 

I know some here are probably thinking I'm a baby bitching and moaning but I have to get it out somewhere.  And besides I think humans are allowed to complain at times.  I mean not one person in the course of human history as far as I know raised up their hand and asked to be here.  

Hey, BlueSkies: I just scrolled up to the top of the page to make sure this was the Pet Peeve section. It is, and you have the absolute right to kvetch about whatever you like. We all do. And I, for one, am tired of the mini lectures popping up here (& elsewhere) in response to folks who are posting their pet peeves or concerns about crime in their areas, or other disagreeable things. I've noticed that the numbers of folk posting has decreased quite a bit. Can we please allow people to vent without correcting them with one's own beliefs/experiences refuting them? 

[SoMuchTV]

15 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Can we please allow people to vent without correcting them with one's own beliefs/experiences refuting them? 

Ooh, that’s a tough one. I’m on another forum where there’s a thread that’s clearly labeled “venting only - no replies allowed” but that’s not exactly what we have here. I do agree that we should be mindful of what’s the line between “I hear you, and I have a suggestion that might help” and “your vent is irrational and here’s why”. 

[fairffaxx]

The only mod (maybe now a former mod?) that I respect here is JTMacc99, who's pointed out that your peeves are YOUR peeves & you should feel free to state them without fear of criticism.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Apologies if my post describing my experiences came off as criticism to others’ experiences. That was not my intent.

[ginger90]

9 hours ago, fairffaxx said:

The only mod (maybe now a former mod?) that I respect here is JTMacc99, who's pointed out that your peeves are YOUR peeves & you should feel free to state them without fear of criticism.

 

[Yeah No]

46 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

 

Sadly, I don't think that person is here anymore.  They haven't posted since March 14th.

[ginger90]

8 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Sadly, I don't think that person is here anymore.  They haven't posted since March 14th.

The rule is still here.

[Yeah No]

7 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

The rule is still here.

YES, thankfully!!

I realized that!

[Yeah No]

On 4/7/2024 at 11:37 PM, GHScorpiosRule said:

Apologies if my post describing my experiences came off as criticism to others’ experiences. That was not my intent.

I don't think you have anything to apologize for especially in a thread that involves venting about pet peeves.  I refuse to feel responsible if people think I'm criticizing them when that was not my intention.  I can't live my life editing myself that way.  I did that for a long time and people still found reasons to take personally anything and everything I said no matter how I intended it or expressed it.  In fact they still do no matter what I do.  But that's not my fault!

Also not my fault is people making me feel uncomfortable or not liking me for expressing my opinions.  It's not going to stop me from expressing them in forums designed for me to express them.  If they don't like me or my opinions they can skip over them.  I personally don't mind hearing opinions I don't agree with and I don't judge or tune out people like that for having opinions I don't agree with.  I generally like everyone and don't work that way.  I can't live my life worrying about the people that aren't like me, though!

Edited April 9 by Yeah No

[annzeepark914]

Wow! We just saw the almost total eclipse. The sun looked like the crescent moon on the old outhouse doors 😊. A lot of our neighbors were out (borrowing our one pair of special glasses that we got at the Air & Space Museum on 3/30). We met our newest neighbor, Victoria in her first outing (she's 6 weeks old). A fortuitous day in the 'hood 🩷...almost-total eclipse & a new resident!

[GHScorpiosRule]

32 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Wow! We just saw the almost total eclipse. The sun looked like the crescent moon on the old outhouse doors 😊. A lot of our neighbors were out (borrowing our one pair of special glasses that we got at the Air & Space Museum on 3/30). We met our newest neighbor, Victoria in her first outing (she's 6 weeks old). A fortuitous day in the 'hood 🩷...almost-total eclipse & a new resident!

Did you mean to post this in Chit-Chat?

[annzeepark914]

17 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Did you mean to post this in Chit-Chat?

Yup. Thanks!!

[Bookish Jen]

Ugh. I'm so pissed. My rent is going up again. And no, this won't include any improvements to my place. If I asked to get some updates to my kitchen (everything is so old), my rent would jacked up even higher.

Rent has gotten ridiculous in my neighborhood. I even saw a studio for rent for over $2000 per month, in Milwaukee. WTF?

[TattleTeeny]

Oh, carry on -- never mind.

 

Edited April 9 by TattleTeeny

[isalicat]

1 hour ago, Bookish Jen said:

Ugh. I'm so pissed. My rent is going up again. And no, this won't include any improvements to my place. If I asked to get some updates to my kitchen (everything is so old), my rent would jacked up even higher.

Rent has gotten ridiculous in my neighborhood. I even saw a studio for rent for over $2000 per month, in Milwaukee. WTF?

I feel ya! Rent is so expensive here in coastal central California that you now need to make about $50. an hour to afford a basic one bedroom....The house next door to me is two bedrooms and one bathroom and no pets allowed: it goes for $2400 per month! (no I don't live right next to the beach or anything...about a mile away from the surf). There is a major university nearby (Cal Poly SLO) and they are having a really hard time recruiting new faculty because the incoming people can't afford to rent or buy a house, despite quite reasonable salaries, academically speaking. And they wonder why people are leaving California in droves!

[peacheslatour]

6 minutes ago, isalicat said:

I feel ya! Rent is so expensive here in coastal central California that you now need to make about $50. an hour to afford a basic one bedroom....The house next door to me is two bedrooms and one bathroom and no pets allowed: it goes for $2400 per month! (no I don't live right next to the beach or anything...about a mile away from the surf). There is a major university nearby (Cal Poly SLO) and they are having a really hard time recruiting new faculty because the incoming people can't afford to rent or buy a house, despite quite reasonable salaries, academically speaking. And they wonder why people are leaving California in droves!

Seattle is no better. The condo next door to my son is going for 5K a month.  2 beds, bath and a half, no pets.

[Mindthinkr]

Wow and here I thought $1700/month was a lot for a small one bedroom. 

[peacheslatour]

14 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Wow and here I thought $1700/month was a lot for a small one bedroom. 

Well, it does have a partial view of the lake but so does my son's apartment. But his is a one bedroom, one bath and it's 2K a month.

[kristen111]

On 4/7/2024 at 7:57 PM, BlueSkies said:

I had in general a lousy weekend.  Besides the Dunkin Donuts incident that I talked about which I didn't think would get as much traction here...  I woke up this morning with a sore tongue and throat.  I thought maybe I got Covid again but thankfully not.  Then I lifted too much weights yesterday and woke up sore as well.   My Dad talked to me rather passive aggressively as well now about some other stuff going on.  After this post I'm logging out and just shutting it down.  

 

I know some here are probably thinking I'm a baby bitching and moaning but I have to get it out somewhere.  And besides I think humans are allowed to complain at times.  I mean not one person in the course of human history as far as I know raised up their hand and asked to be here.  

God forbid you make a mistake here or on another thread.  You will be hung.  There are new Sherrifs in town.

 

[Anela]

On 4/7/2024 at 10:13 PM, annzeepark914 said:

Hey, BlueSkies: I just scrolled up to the top of the page to make sure this was the Pet Peeve section. It is, and you have the absolute right to kvetch about whatever you like. We all do. And I, for one, am tired of the mini lectures popping up here (& elsewhere) in response to folks who are posting their pet peeves or concerns about crime in their areas, or other disagreeable things. I've noticed that the numbers of folk posting has decreased quite a bit. Can we please allow people to vent without correcting them with one's own beliefs/experiences refuting them? 

I was posting about my own experiences, where I’m stuck. I’m allowed to vent, too. 
the guy who almost took my life when I was a kid, was the brother of a famous football player.  he was just an angry guy, who wanted to marry my mother, but didn’t want kids.  
I was afraid to look for my missing cat, a year ago, because people have been so wound up, I didn’t know if I’d be met with a gun, or even get hurt just walking past someone’s garden, calling for him.  When things were happening close by, in other towns, like robberies, there were people who decided that teenagers should just be “dealt with” that their lives weren’t worth anything. They actually said that.  “dealt with” didn’t mean “arrested”.
That’s *my* vent.  I purposely didn’t vent about things that have had me so down, because I didn’t want anyone making light of any of it, and I’m not in a good enough place to hear that.  Like someone on Facebook, five years ago, who told me that it could always be worse, when I’m aware, and that’s part of what I’m worried about.  

Edited April 10 by Anela

[Anela]

35 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

God forbid you make a mistake here or on another thread.  You will be hung.  There are new Sherrifs in town.

 

I don’t think so.  I’m surprised the conversation was allowed.  I thought that was a no-no here.  
I was iffy on responding, because I wanted to vent, but I didn’t want to shit on anyone.  

[kristen111]

On 4/6/2024 at 10:05 PM, oliviabenson said:

Lol I see older people hanging out in coffee places, mcd, library etc. they gotta meet somewhere.

Better a coffee house than a Bar.  

[peacheslatour]

23 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Better a coffee house than a Bar.  

You never know, they might just get all hopped up on all that caffeine and go on a rampage at the Early Bird special!

[kristen111]

43 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

You never know, they might just get all hopped up on all that caffeine and go on a rampage at the Early Bird special!

True.  In the summer, they are outside more.  Then in the Library, donut shop or shopping.  I feel sorry for them.  Retirement isn’t what it’s supposed to be, unless they play golf.  That satisfies them .. they need male companionship.

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

True.  In the summer, they are outside more.  Then in the Library, donut shop or shopping.  I feel sorry for them.  Retirement isn’t what it’s supposed to be, unless they play golf.  That satisfies them .. they need male companionship.

Oh, these are women? I was picturing old dudes. Maybe they can play canasta?

[kristen111]

1 minute ago, peacheslatour said:

Oh, these are women? I was picturing old dudes. Maybe they can play canasta?

old dudes.

4 hours ago, Anela said:

I don’t think so.  I’m surprised the conversation was allowed.  I thought that was a no-no here.  
I was iffy on responding, because I wanted to vent, but I didn’t want to shit on anyone.  

The conversation was going fine .. no problem … UNTIL.

[kristen111]

On 4/8/2024 at 9:07 AM, Yeah No said:

Sadly, I don't think that person is here anymore.  They haven't posted since March 14th.

Just came on.  I don’t know who you both are talking about, but lately there has been lots of criticism and backlash on certain threads.  It’s not like it used to be where everyone respected each others opinions.  Too bad.  Was nice while it lasted.  People are leaving and I don’t blame them.

 

 

 

 

[annzeepark914]

I think we are our own moderators right now. I hope everything will calm down. We've had such a nice, kind & caring group. Let's stay here and keep it a welcoming, accepting place where folks can feel free venting about whatever's bugging them.