Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Hanahope]

Another reason not buy via FB ads.  I saw an item I knew my younger daughter would love.  I ordered it at the beginning of December.  It didn't show up for Christmas, but I think its ok, she'll still love it if I give it to her for valentines day.  So we get to Christmas and open gifts, including gifts from my sister and neice that were shipped to us.  My neice's gift to my younger daughter is the exact thing I had bought, but didn't arrive yet.  Guess my neice bought it a lot earlier than I did.  Of course my daughter loved it.  And now, whenever it shows up, I'll have a duplicate and no easy way to return.   I might just keep it for a bit, just in case the first one breaks (as it is from China after all).

So no more FB ad purchases.

[Angeltoes]

Maybe you can give it to one of your daughter's friends as a birthday gift?  If your daughter likes it then her friends probably will, too.

[TattleTeeny]

2 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I have to constantly tell my mom to not buy things she sees in Facebook advertisements. I've sent her links to those comparison sites to show her things look nothing like they do online.  Nevertheless, at least once a month she asks me if I've seen an ad for some sort of crap and I always say no, and remind her to not buy things via Facebook ads. If she ever does and it never shows up I'll never hear the end of it.

All ads, @theredhead77, or certain ones? Because some ads on Facebook are actual links to legit places like Kohl's, Macy's, and Amazon (not third-party Chinese sweatshop clothing), etc., just like any other paid ad you'd see in a newspaper or on TV.

Edited January 2, 2018 by TattleTeeny

[peacheslatour]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I was about to add that, @Sun-Bun! I am on the smaller side but, oh man--if I want a few cheapo fun things from those sites (Shein, Romwe [I think], etc...), I go for the L or even XL! And once, I had to give the leggings to my BF's 11-year-old niece anyway, haha! I guess that'll teach me some kind of lesson about greed (and maybe even sweatshops or whatever).

Where are they? The customer reviews appear to be in Arabian.

[theredhead77]

11 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

All ads, @theredhead77, or certain ones? Because some ads on Facebook are actual links to legit places like Kohl's, Macy's, and Amazon (not third-party Chinese sweatshop clothing), etc., just like any other paid ad you'd see in a newspaper or on TV.

I tell my mom to avoid all ads because she can't differentiate between legit (Macy's, Kohl's, etc...) and the crap sweatshop third-party ads. I tell her to go look for what she wants on the internet without clicking on an ad and if she finds it on a website like Amazon or the company website if it's not a mainstream store to send me a link and I'll double check it to make sure it's legit.

[TattleTeeny]

Oh, OK--gotcha, makes perfect sense (because I too have that mom! Also, mine uses her husband's FB account to comment on stuff, which can be awkward when she compliments a young nephew on a new haircut, or refers to the "cute tush" he had 20 years ago as a baby).

Quote

 

Where are they? The customer reviews appear to be in Arabian.

Both, I believe, are shipped from Asia but maybe they have European warehouses too? All I know is mine took forever to get here.

Edited January 2, 2018 by TattleTeeny

[bilgistic]

It's a new year, but people are still being assholes.

I went to the pet store to get food and two people pulled out in front of me only to turn within a block. One was driving a new Lexus and the other, a new Mercedes. There were miles of empty road behind me, but they just had to pull out in front of me.

It's a new year, but it seems I'm still cursing just as much as last year.

Speaking of which, those fucking kids in my neighborhood were running through my building this afternoon and rang the doorbell and beat on the door.

I hate humanity.

Edited January 3, 2018 by bilgistic

[BookWoman56]

New Year's Eve was pretty noisy, as I live outside the city limits and hence minimal fireworks regulations; there were a couple of huge fireworks stands close to the entrance to my neighborhood. I don't mind fireworks in and of themselves; I grew up in an era where there were almost no restrictions on fireworks, and my father would take us kids every major holiday to buy fireworks. We had bottle rocket wars in our back yard, and so forth, and I was probably 11 or 12 before I read the directions and learned that no, you are not supposed to hold roman candles in your hand when you set them off and instead should put them into some sort of container (I know, I know; I have a dent in my nose from being hit by a stray bottle rocket, so yes, in retrospect, that was all pretty stupid and dangerous, but fairly typical of the time). Anyway, I don't have an issue with people who choose to buy and set off fireworks at home. What I do have an issue with is failure to clean up the debris afterward. I took one of my dogs for what turned out to be a very short walk today, because maybe three houses down from me, on both the  sidewalk and the street itself, were the remains of lots of firecrackers and also 20-30 small round fireworks innards, which my dog of course wanted to chew. I couldn't tell if they were spent or possibly still live, but in any case I wasn't about to let the dog try to eat one. WTH, people? You've had long enough to recover from your hangovers and remove potentially dangerous debris from in front of your home. I realize it's not the same thing, but I wouldn't have a major party and leave broken beer/liquor bottles on the sidewalk and in the street where someone might injure themselves.  For that matter, if the people next door had set off fireworks and the debris ended up in front of my house, I'd be irritated but would still feel compelled to remove them as a potential hazard. 

[Moose135]

3 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I went to the pet store to get food and two people pulled out in front of me only to turn within a block. One was driving a new Lexus and the other, a new Mercedes. There was miles of empty road behind me, but they just had to pull out in front of me.

 I hate people like that!

[AgentRXS]

4 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I went to the pet store to get food and two people pulled out in front of me only to turn within a block. One was driving a new Lexus and the other, a new Mercedes. There were miles of empty road behind me, but they just had to pull out in front of me.

This is standard South Fl driving. They even pull out with very little distance between your car and theirs--many times I just miss hitting them by inches.  My other favorite is when  people turning right when drivers on the other side of the intersection have the green light on the left turning lane. I just love being mid-turn and having some idiot turn right without looking and then having to slam on my brakes to keep from hitting them.

[bilgistic]

I often feel like the only person who read the driver's training handbook.

There's a three-way stop at the entrance to my complex. The complex entrance forms the stem of a T with the busy neighborhood road as the bar across the T.

When I was almost home, I stopped at the stop sign at the same time as a driver on the opposite site of the intersection. OF COURSE she turned left into the complex, and I had to stop to avoid hitting her. That's not how this works! That's not how any of this works!

Naturally at other times, people with the right of way will sit there and wave others through the intersection. It's infuriating.

[Moose135]

7 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I often feel like the only person who read the driver's training handbook.

After I moved to Charlotte, friends back in New York would ask how traffic was down here.  I tell them half the cars are 10mph under the limit, half the cars are qualifying at the speedway, and I think I have the only vehicle in the state with working turn signals.

[Hanahope]

10 hours ago, AgentRXS said:

My other favorite is when  people turning right when drivers on the other side of the intersection have the green light on the left turning lane. I just love being mid-turn and having some idiot turn right without looking and then having to slam on my brakes to keep from hitting them.

 

Where I used to live (west coast), people could turn right on red lights all the time, but they are supposed to stop first.  Where I live now (across the country), there are signs at almost every traffic-light intersection saying "no turn on red".  I guess some people don't know how to do it safely, so the law prevents them from doing it at all.  It can be real annoying if you are at one of those lights that takes for ever to cycle.

This side of the country also doesn't know how to turn left on a traffic signal when there's no special green arrow for them.  When the light turns green and there is opposing traffic, you move into the intersection enough so the car behind you can also move partly into the intersection.  You wait until there's no traffic, or the light cycles to yellow, then you make your turn with enough time as the light turns red so the car behind can also turn before the cross-traffic's light turns green.  So this way, at least two cars can turn if there's no special signal light for left turns.  

 But on the east coast, people will just inch in a little bit on the green light and wait till the very last second to do their turn, thus only one car gets to turn left.  Annoys the heck out of me.

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, Moose135 said:

After I moved to Charlotte, friends back in New York would ask how traffic was down here.  I tell them half the cars are 10mph under the limit, half the cars are qualifying at the speedway, and I think I have the only vehicle in the state with working turn signals.

I often find that I have time to turn if the other driver had a signal on and I knew he was slowing down and turning into where I'm pulling out. Just annoying. I always use mine. Habit. 

[ABay]

Whoever laid put the street plan in my town apparently also set up Stonehenge, because the sun rises right in front of me, in my face, when I drive down my street in the morning. It's as bad as the I-91 exit off the Mass Turnpike where no matter what time of day I was driving east, the sun would temporarily blind me.

[Quof]

Quote

I often find that I have time to turn if the other driver had a signal on and I knew he was slowing down and turning into where I'm pulling out.

Whereas I never rely on another driver to turn just because he is signalling.  I'll wait until the car actually starts to turn before deciding it's safe to pull out.  Otherwise, it could just be a little old man who has been driving for miles with his blinker on. 

I once witnessed an accident at a four way stop. The car in front of me had his right turn signal on, yet went straight.  Another driver relied on that turn signal, and they collided.  Buddy swore up and down he wasn't signalling.  I said "Yes you were.  I was right behind you and saw the whole thing."  I gave the not-at-fault driver my contact info and told him to have his insurance company call me for a statement.  "They'll recognize my name."   

[BookWoman56]

I had ordered some items online for Christmas presents for immediate family members. Two of them arrived as scheduled; the third one was supposedly delivered on a certain day/time per the tracking info, but I was at home that entire day and no, it wasn't. I waited the designated number of days to report it as missing, and the company is sending a replacement for the order that got lost. Per the tracking info, it's supposed to be delivered by end of day tomorrow, which would be fine. However, the tracking info shows that it reached my city yesterday just before noon; that's when the "arrival" scan was done. Today around 10 am, they did the "destination" scan, presumably to figure out which specific delivery truck it needs to go onto to get to my house. Given that while it was still in transit, there would typically be maybe 2-3 hours between the arrival scan at city ABC and the departure scan for that same city, it seems to me as if taking almost 24 hours between scanning in the package as having arrived and scanning in the specific delivery address is a little extreme. And it looks as if it will not actually make it onto a delivery truck until tomorrow. So the model here for the shipping company seems to be rush like crazy to get it from the point of origin to the right city, and then let it sit there for a couple of days before actually delivering it. 

[bilgistic]

I need to whine. My depression and anxiety are bad. Capital-B Bad. The psychiatrist I see now is kind of terrible and strikes me as a bootstrap theorist. He doesn't take insurance, and his rate is $125 per visit, which is too much and I can't afford it. I badly need my meds adjusted/reevaluated, but my doctor won't do anything. He ignores that I'm not doing well.

I finally worked up the strength to call a couple of other doctors that had been recommended to me through other people. One doesn't take insurance ($300 initial visit!) and the other has a 52-person waiting list.

This is exhausting. Mental health "care" in this country is abysmal. This is hardly the worst I've experienced in my life, though.

I'm not in good shape and I need help. It shouldn't be this hard.

[SaySay24]

39 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I need to whine. My depression and anxiety are bad. Capital-B Bad. The psychiatrist I see now is kind of terrible and strikes me as a bootstrap theorist. He doesn't take insurance, and his rate is $125 per visit, which is too much and I can't afford it. I badly need my meds adjusted/reevaluated, but my doctor won't do anything. He ignores that I'm not doing well.

I finally worked up the strength to call a couple of other doctors that had been recommended to me through other people. One doesn't take insurance ($300 initial visit!) and the other has a 52-person waiting list.

This is exhausting. Mental health "care" in this country is abysmal. This is hardly the worst I've experienced in my life, though.

I'm not in good shape and I need help. It shouldn't be this hard.

I’m sad to hear this. I hope you can get your medications adjusted. Do you have additional coping strategies that help a little? I agree finding help shouldn’t be that hard. 

[Mindthinkr]

45 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

It shouldn't be this hard.

No, it shouldn't. That sounds very frustrating when you are asking for help and not getting any. I hope that you are able to find someone who is genuinely concerned and helps to get you what you need. 

[2727]

Grocery pricing, amirite?

My local store has packaged salad kits -- for example, the Caesar one has romaine, packet of dressing, croutons, Parmesan and bacon bits. It's $3.99. The same size package of plain romaine lettuce is ... also $3.99.

I only want the romaine and it bugs me that it's not considerably cheaper than the full kit. Also, the kits are on BOGO every other week and the bags of plain lettuce are not.

Yeah, yeah I should just buy a head of freaking romaine. I probably will but I like the conveeeeenience of it being pre-washed and cut!

Edited January 3, 2018 by 2727

[bilgistic]

39 minutes ago, SaySay24 said:

I’m sad to hear this. I hope you can get your medications adjusted. Do you have additional coping strategies that help a little? I agree finding help shouldn’t be that hard. 

Thank you. The cats are keeping me going. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that. They are so damn cute and silly, and taking care of them means I have to care about something.

36 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

No, it shouldn't. That sounds very frustrating when you are asking for help and not getting any. I hope that you are able to find someone who is genuinely concerned and helps to get you what you need. 

Thank you. The insurance's "provider directory" is woefully out of date. Two additional doctors I called no longer work at the practices. Well, that is, the person who answered had never heard of them. I'm just going to have to pick a name out of a hat at a practice that I know takes insurance and hope that doctor is better. This is no good.

[AuntieL]

I'm sorry you're going through this @bilgistic. Mental health care is in crisis in this country (the world really) and no one wants to talk about it. Just know there are people who care, even if they're just on the internet, and don't give up. 

[Mindthinkr]

14 hours ago, bilgistic said:

Thank you. The cats are keeping me going. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that. They are so damn cute and silly, and taking care of them means I have to care about something.

Thank you. The insurance's "provider directory" is woefully out of date. Two additional doctors I called no longer work at the practices. Well, that is, the person who answered had never heard of them. I'm just going to have to pick a name out of a hat at a practice that I know takes insurance and hope that doctor is better. This is no good.

Call your insurance provider and ask them who is currently covering in your area. It shouldn't have to be this hard and I'm sorry that it is. Good luck. 

[SunnyBeBe]

I like to stay positive for the beginning of the new year, but, I'm peeved that one of the children's toys that I purchased is a choke hazard, though not labeled.  I would not have bought it otherwise.  So, now to return.  

My new Keurig K425 Pro has design issues (why make it so a large mug won't fit on the platform?  In order to use it or a carafe, you have to remove the cup rest. Seems odd, since that's the point of a step up model.) And it makes a hell of a lotta noise.  OMG.  I've never heard such a racket.  None of the more basic models have ever sounded like that.  I've owned 3 previously. So, I'll have to call the company, deal with that, return perhaps.....

And my all time biggest pet peeve lately are those who can't stop texting while driving.  I encounter people driving towards in my lane every day.  I'm not kidding. 

Edited January 4, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[AgentRXS]

8 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

And my all time biggest pet peeve lately are those who can't stop texting while driving.  I encounter people driving towards in my lane every day. 

I drive around my county for a living. I can assure you that their are more people texting/video chatting/Facebooking while driving than not. Its scary and definitely makes you think of the pros of self-driving cars. I've even seen the truck drivers in the big rigs do it and swerve all over the highway. Its insane how addicted people are to their phones.

[SunnyBeBe]

So true.  Most drivers that I meet coming in my direction are looking down at their phones. It's scary and infuriating. IMO, it's more than a public safety hazard. Thank goodness, that most of my routes are on divided highways. Still, you have the lane drifters.  That's a problem too.

Edited January 4, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Quof]

Maybe I'm just sick and cranky, but why in the Hell do I need scissors to get my cold medication out of the blister packs?  I've gone through 2 different brands, slightly different packaging, but both required scissors.   I know you used to be able to just pop them out. 

And to top it off, they really haven't made me feel the least bit better. 

I'm going back to bed.

[GHScorpiosRule]

So. We got some more snow this morning. OH NOES!!!! Most schools and the federal government called for a two hour delay. Others and universities just outright said they would be closed. Closed. Barely half an inch. The roads were clear. I have to ask myself when we all became a bunch of wussies/pansies? I remember having to slog through the snow during my elementary years; still had to go to junior and high school. One year, in junior high school, we didn't get sent home until after lunch, when the snow was really coming down and it was almost a foot. In high school, junior year, I was peeved that schools were closed because I'd spent the entire weekend studying for my math mid-term and my brain was full of how to answer, (Math was my weakest subject). So all that studying for nothing. I just freeze on tests. And yes, it's cold. Very cold; but it we're still in double digits here in the DC/MD/VA area. I think it was two years ago when we were in single digits. It was colder in 2006 PLUS a helluva lot of snow then. The whole thing is just ridiculous. 

I was panicked at having to shovel snow-which I just can't, because I'm not supposed to do anything strenuous, and then when I walked outside? Nothin.' Barely a half inch. But the schools that said they would open two hours late? Decided they would close as well. Whiny wussy pansies.

9 minutes ago, Quof said:

Maybe I'm just sick and cranky, but why in the Hell do I need scissors to get my cold medication out of the blister packs?  I've gone through 2 different brands, slightly different packaging, but both required scissors.   I know you used to be able to just pop them out. 

And to top it off, they really haven't made me feel the least bit better. 

I'm going back to bed.

No you're not. I HATE having to do that as well!

[Blergh]

Another phone peeve: If you're going to try to sell me something, don't ring me up then just breathe when I answer 'hello' twice before I hang up THEN immediately after try to leave a pitch on my voice mail!

[Quof]

A spider the size of my palm just ran across my floor and disappeared.

I hope to god it's the cold medicine making me hallucinate. 

[bilgistic]

3 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

So. We got some more snow this morning. OH NOES!!!! Most schools and the federal government called for a two hour delay. Others and universities just outright said they would be closed. Closed. Barely half an inch. The roads were clear. I have to ask myself when we all became a bunch of wussies/pansies? I remember having to slog through the snow during my elementary years; still had to go to junior and high school. One year, in junior high school, we didn't get sent home until after lunch, when the snow was really coming down and it was almost a foot. In high school, junior year, I was peeved that schools were closed because I'd spent the entire weekend studying for my math mid-term and my brain was full of how to answer, (Math was my weakest subject). So all that studying for nothing. I just freeze on tests. And yes, it's cold. Very cold; but it we're still in double digits here in the DC/MD/VA area. I think it was two years ago when we were in single digits. It was colder in 2006 PLUS a helluva lot of snow then. The whole thing is just ridiculous. 

I was panicked at having to shovel snow-which I just can't, because I'm not supposed to do anything strenuous, and then when I walked outside? Nothin.' Barely a half inch. But the schools that said they would open two hours late? Decided they would close as well. Whiny wussy pansies.

No you're not. I HATE having to do that as well!

Twice in my recent memory, schools here have closed because snow was in the forecast. No precipitation actually fell from the sky.

2 hours ago, Quof said:

A spider the size of my palm just ran across my floor and disappeared.

I hope to god it's the cold medicine making me hallucinate. 

That could have been a wolf spider. Don't look it up if you ever want to sleep again. There was one in my old condo, and it was then and remains the only one I've ever seen. Dear god, that thing was huge. They are supposedly relatively harmless, but fuck that. I beat the shit out of it with a broom or mop and then lifted it into the trash with my weapon. Spiders belong outside away from me.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

A spider the size of my palm just ran across my floor and disappeared.

I hope to god it's the cold medicine making me hallucinate. 

This point at which I'd call an exterminator and head to a hotel.

=

[SunnyBeBe]

Another pet peeve is that in order to get coupons or discounts from most places, you have to provide them your email address and then they sell or share it and you are inundated with all kinds of marketing emails. 

[theredhead77]

7 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Another pet peeve is that in order to get coupons or discounts from most places, you have to provide them your email address and then they sell or share it and you are inundated with all kinds of marketing emails. 

That's what throw away email addresses are for.

[SunnyBeBe]

18 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

That's what throw away email addresses are for.

Yeah, I have one like that, but, it got to be too much and now I dread even going to it. lol

[Katy M]

I am so annoyed, I'm tempted to type in all caps, but I won't.  And, I don't know why I'm surprised, because this happens to me every winter.  But, my pet peeve, my giant monster dinosaur pet peeve, is people who don't move their car when it snows.  No matter how many email reminders that the landlord sends begging them to.  Now, because the person next to me did not move, I have no place to park my car until it snows again.  And, that's only if the person is kind enough to move that time so that the plow can get to my space.  Sigh. It's going to be an expensive parking meter winter.  I can feel it already.

[Katy M]

OK, so I live in a building with 6 apartments (all single occupied).  There are 5 spots out back and 2 up front.  I park up front, but I was thinking of parking out back due to the fact that my space didn't get plowed out.  The lady that was parked next to me and didn't move, left and came back.  Guess where she parked?  So, now if I park out back, I will be taking a completely innocent person's spot.  So, I guess I'm not doing that.  I'm trying to figure out where I'm going to park tomorrow, because I can't afford to pay to park all day, every day in the parking garage.  And, I don't think it's supposed to snow again until next Friday.  But, good news is that if she can't get back into her space, that means it will be empty when it does come time to plow again.

[Quof]

Quote

A spider the size of my palm just ran across my floor and disappeared.

Got the bastard! At least I am telling myself it was the same, and one and only, spider in my house.  Don't anyone try to dissuade me. 

[Guest]

@Katy M  A little levity....I wrote you a note for your neighbor.

Dear Bran the Builder,

I know that Winter has Come and

Spoiler

the wall has fallen

 But could your please not rebuild it next to my spot.  If this lasts much longer I will be forced to take out a loan from the Iron Bank and like a Lannister lay waste to those who would defy me to repay my debt.  Seriously, I will fry your ass with my dragons if you don’t move your mechanical contraption when the giant snow moving machine comes. 

Edited January 6, 2018 by ParadoxLost

[Mindthinkr]

4 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

@Katy M  A little levity....I wrote you a note for your neighbor.

Dear Bran the Builder,

I know that Winter has Come and

  Hide contents

the wall has fallen

 But could your please not rebuild it next to my spot.  If this lasts much longer I will be forced to take out a loan from the Iron Bank and like a Lannister lay waste to those who would defy me to repay my debt.  Seriously, I will fry your ass with my dragons if you don’t move your mechanical contraption when the giant snow moving machine comes. 

LOL. A little harsh but to the point!!!  (Laughing) 

[walnutqueen]

1 hour ago, ParadoxLost said:

@Katy M  A little levity....I wrote you a note for your neighbor.

Fuck that shit, @Katy M.  My note reads :

"The night is dark and full of terrors".

[Katy M]

So, this morning before I left for my volunteer shift at the Humane society, I noticed that there were only 4 cars out back.  I figured I could fit into the space between cars 4 and 5.  In theory, my car would have fit in there, but I had no swing room.  there is no room for maneuvering back there.  And it made me mad because there was so much room between cars 3 and 4 and 4 and 5 that if car 4 had moved over a bit,  I would have had plenty of room. Then, due to my lack of maneuverability, I had the hardest time getting so that I could back out of the lot again.  Then, I had to go back to the parking garage and walk back home in -5 degree weather.  Aargh.  

[SunnyBeBe]

23 minutes ago, Katy M said:

So, this morning before I left for my volunteer shift at the Humane society, I noticed that there were only 4 cars out back.  I figured I could fit into the space between cars 4 and 5.  In theory, my car would have fit in there, but I had no swing room.  there is no room for maneuvering back there.  And it made me mad because there was so much room between cars 3 and 4 and 4 and 5 that if car 4 had moved over a bit,  I would have had plenty of room. Then, due to my lack of maneuverability, I had the hardest time getting so that I could back out of the lot again.  Then, I had to go back to the parking garage and walk back home in -5 degree weather.  Aargh.  

OH YES!  Some people didn't get that gene that tells you how to fit 4 cars in the space that 4 cars should fit.  They think that 2 or 3 cars should fit there, so they park in a piggish way and spoil the space.  We have a lot of that at my office.  For 2018, I have on my To Do list to get parking spot designated lines done.  If I pigged two spots when I could use one, I'd be embarrassed, but, even when you call people out on it. They blow it off.  Unreal.  

Edited January 7, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[ABay]

I've called campus police on parking space hogs. It's hard enough to find parking without people being assholes.

[Katy M]

Good News!  The plow guy came back, so now my space if free of snow.  I can move my car back in the morning.  OK, I could do it now, but even though it's warmed up to what I can only assume feels like a balmy 14 degrees after my foray into negative degrees this morning, I still have no desire to go outside.

[PRgal]

 People need to really shush up about bugging child-free couples (especially women) having kids.  Actually, it's worse when they tell people that it's FINE to be child-free.  Because some of us want to have kids, but can't (I don't want to get into adoption.  It will only stress me out.   And no, IVF doesn't always work - whether it's with you or a surrogate.  We have had three failures so far (pregnant once, ended in a chemical and two real failures).  And don't get me started on donors - do you know how hard it is to find an Asian egg donor (guys are a bit easier to find, but still not super-easy nor are there lots to choose from.  Gee, thanks Confucian culture!  Thanks emphasis on bloodlines/traceability!  Thanks, "purity!"))?  

[Bastet]

26 minutes ago, PRgal said:

People need to really shush up about bugging child-free couples (especially women) having kids. 

It will never stop boggling my mind that while one virtually never hears someone ask a mother, "Why the hell did you have kids?" it is somehow perfectly acceptable to grill a child-free woman on why she didn't.  Whether she couldn't or opted not to, "Why haven't/didn't you?" simply isn't an appropriate query, and that's before we get into the judgment that is typically added to the question.

[shanndee]

I am so sorry @PRgal. People really do need to think about how their words affect others and mind their own business more. 

I always had to deal with defending and explaining my child-free choice...I can't imagine how difficult (and heartbreaking) it must be to be in your shoes.

Take care.

[SunnyBeBe]

Which leads me to another pet peeve.  I swear, I'm not normally a negative person. lol   When someone is lamenting the loss of a loved one, they inevitably will say how sad they are they will never get to see her get married or have children.  It almost makes it sound like her life wasn't worth much unless  she got married or had a baby.  I know, they may not mean it that way, but, it sure does get old.  I mean. just say that you miss her and regret that she didn't get to live her life and that she didn't have to walk down the isle or give birth. 

Edited January 7, 2018 by SunnyBeBe