Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[bilgistic]

According to my darling boss, I just "have a headache" when I have a migraine. OK, sir, let me give it to you for a few minutes and see how you cope.

[bmasters9]

And then people go work sick, infecting others, because bosses give people crap for not coming into work. I don't miss the 8-5 office life. I remember feeling so guilty any time I had to call in sick because my boss would give me crap and/or doubt the legitimacy of my absence. It's so annoying.

It's somewhat like a catch-22, the way I see it-- come to work when you're sick, get everyone sick and get fired, or don't come to work when you're sick, everyone else stays healthy, but you still get fired for not coming to work sick. It's vicious!

[Bastet]

Allow me to summarize a recent email conversation with the company from which I ordered a replacement battery for my ancient cell phone (and it has been the same employee each time, not a different rep responding to each email):

 

Me:  USPS tracking showed this package's status as out for delivery the morning of 9/18, but it was not delivered.  Late that night, the status was changed to "delivery status not updated" where it has remained ever since.  USPS seems to have lost the package, so please send a replacement.

 

Company: USPS tracking shows the following: [copy and paste from the USPS website, showing the exact information I included in my email]

 

Me:  Yes, I know; that's the information I sent you.  As an additional three days have transpired since I first contacted you and nothing has changed, the package is clearly lost.  Please send a replacement ASAP.

 

Company:  USPS may have lost the package.  Would you like a replacement or a refund?

 

 

Gee, I don't know.  How about a replacement.  (I would say refund and give someone less stupid my money, but my parents have ordered from them several times with great results, and they offer free - and fast - shipping ... when USPS manages not to drop the damn thing in a gutter somewhere between the post office and my house, so I'll give it another try.)

[GHScorpiosRule]

Allow me to summarize a recent email conversation with the company from which I ordered a replacement battery for my ancient cell phone (and it has been the same employee each time, not a different rep responding to each email):

 

Me:  USPS tracking showed this package's status as out for delivery the morning of 9/18, but it was not delivered.  Late that night, the status was changed to "delivery status not updated" where it has remained ever since.  USPS seems to have lost the package, so please send a replacement.

 

Company: USPS tracking shows the following: [copy and paste from the USPS website, showing the exact information I included in my email]

 

Me:  Yes, I know; that's the information I sent you.  As an additional three days have transpired since I first contacted you and nothing has changed, the package is clearly lost.  Please send a replacement ASAP.

 

Company:  USPS may have lost the package.  Would you like a replacement or a refund?

 

 

Gee, I don't know.  How about a replacement.  (I would say refund and give someone less stupid my money, but my parents have ordered from them several times with great results, and they offer free - and fast - shipping ... when USPS manages not to drop the damn thing in a gutter somewhere between the post office and my house, so I'll give it another try.)

 

Oh lord, the stupidity of some folks, or rather companies that hire people who just don't listen! Even before I "joined the 21st Century" and finally succumbed to buying a Smartphone, I've dealt with the same carrier. They would send me a battery to replace the old phone I used to have, and they always FedExed it to me, at no charge to me.

 

But yes, after reading your post, Bastet, I had a very similar phone call with someone at Pitney Bowes.  I was calling them to let them know of an error message appearing on the display screen of our postage meter.  After making me go and look up the serial and product number (because the imbeciles had failed to update the firm name change which I had done LAST YEAR, he asks me how he can help me today?

 

Me: (Because I'm cranky due to my contacts giving me fits/making my eye feel like someone's poked a needle through my eyeball) "I just told you--the meter says..."

 

And then I get a song and dance about sending a replacement machine and what is my address? (This after reading back our office address not less than five minutes ago, AFTER I provided the serial and production information).

 

Is it Friday yet?

[BookWoman56]

Allow me to summarize a recent email conversation with the company from which I ordered a replacement battery for my ancient cell phone (and it has been the same employee each time, not a different rep responding to each email):

 

Me:  USPS tracking showed this package's status as out for delivery the morning of 9/18, but it was not delivered.  Late that night, the status was changed to "delivery status not updated" where it has remained ever since.  USPS seems to have lost the package, so please send a replacement.

 

Company: USPS tracking shows the following: [copy and paste from the USPS website, showing the exact information I included in my email]

 

Me:  Yes, I know; that's the information I sent you.  As an additional three days have transpired since I first contacted you and nothing has changed, the package is clearly lost.  Please send a replacement ASAP.

 

Company:  USPS may have lost the package.  Would you like a replacement or a refund?

 

I have to wonder if the customer service rep is required to use a script from which he/she cannot deviate, or if he/she is just that clueless.

 

Bastet, your conversation reminded me of a similarly frustrating one I had many years ago at a movie theater. A friend and I were contemplating going to see a popular movie even though we both thought it was going to suck. One theater featured half-price admissions all day on Wednesdays, and so we decided that even though we weren't willing to pay full price to see the movie, we could tolerate the idea of paying half the normal ticket price. So, on Wednesday evening we went to the theater and this was the conversation with the ticket agent:

 

Me: Two tickets for movie X, please.

Ticket agent: That will be $## (full price for two tickets).

Me: Your ad says you offer half-price tickets on Wednesdays.

Ticket agent: Yes, we do, but that's only on Wednesdays.

Me: But it is Wednesday.

Ticket agent: It's not Wednesday in the computer.

Me: But in real life, it is Wednesday.

Ticket agent: I know that, but it's not Wednesday in the computer.

Me (only in my head): Exactly what color is the sky on your planet?

Me (aloud): Can you ask your manager to fix the ticket prices in the computer so they will be correct and match your ads?

Ticket agent: Oh, oh wow. I guess maybe I should do that.

 

I had to wonder if the manager was paying the ticket agent extra not to think.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

Here's another one I thought of a few minutes ago.  I hate it when I tell someone about something I did, bought, etc. and they always have a response where they 'one up' me (or tell me I did it wrong).

Growing up my younger brother had a friend who lived across the street from us  - a really terrible friend, but he was right across the street.  His mantra , which we still quote today, was always, "I've got one just like that, only mine is better."  He also was the first person to run home and leave everyone else to deal with the grownups' wrath when we messed up and got in trouble - also his parents were the ONLY assholes in the neighborhood who'd just hose out their roof gutters without checking for birds' nests - and yes, you guessed it - they literally killed a whole nest of mockingbirds.

Edited September 23, 2015 by ratgirlagogo

[bilgistic]

Me: But it is Wednesday.

Ticket agent: It's not Wednesday in the computer.

Me: But in real life, it is Wednesday.

This made me laugh when I thought I couldn't. Thank you.

[auntlada]

I got yelly today at work after a co-worker who has lived here for a year insisted we need a clean grocery store here. A locally owned store is closing because Sprouts will pay the landowner a higher rent, and she's happy because she wants Sprouts.

I'd rather have the local store in large part because he's been really great in the community and is just a good guy. He bags groceries and carries them to the car himself. He gave me a ride home in an ice storm once. He always donates to local groups even when it doesn't make business sense. When he decided to close, he made a deal with another store in town to hire all his employees so they would still have jobs.

Anyway, co-worker said we needed a clean store. I asked what she meant, thinking maybe she meant the no-pesticide, non-GMO kind of thing. She means not dirty, which our stores aren't. (She is a germaphobe.) tis particular store is in an old building, but it is clean. I told her so, and her response was, "That's your opinion."

That's also my peeve -- well, one of them. I think it is code for, "I'm right, and if you disagree, you're wrong." Otherwise, say, "That's my opinion."

My other peeve is people who move somewhere and complain about how much they hate there and how much better it is elsewhere. If you hate it so much here, then go back the hell to where you came from.

[Quof]

But it is your opinion that it is clean, it's her opinion that it's not. You're saying that you're right, she's wrong. Same thing.

[auntlada]

Yeah, but I didn't say to her, "Well, that's your opinion." In my experience, when people say that what they mean is that your opinion is stupid and clearly wrong but they don't want to say you're wrong. I felt she was wrong and told her I thought she was wrong.

Saying, "You're wrong. I disagree," opens the way for an argument or discussion. Saying, "Well, that's your opinion," tends to shut it down in a patronizing and passive-aggressive way. Of course, it's my opinion. I said it.

(And she is wrong. She has a serious issue with cleanliness. I have asked her before to quit spraying cleaning stuff at work because it bothers my sinuses. And she's talked about cleaning her kitchen -- not just wiping down the counters but seriously cleaning it -- several times a day. If she ever has children, which she has talked about wanting someday, she is in trouble because kids aren't that clean.)

[Bastet]

And her kids will be in trouble, because she'll interfere with them developing a proper immune system.  People on a (futile and harmful) quest to eliminate germs from their lives annoy me.

Edited September 23, 2015 by Bastet

[auntlada]

She is also the one who did not want tonsave things on the server that gets backed up because she didn't trust it. She wanted to save things on her desktop, which is never backed up. I finally gave up on that one and told her to save on her computer if she wanted to, but to at least save it to the hard drive, not the desktop.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

I had to wonder if the manager was paying the ticket agent extra not to think.

Probably not - more likely he/she was being paid their regular low wage to just not ever make any exception to ANY rule.   Speaking as somebody who has worked for a few decades for a big bureaucatic nonprofit - nobody has EVER gotten fired from such a place by blindly following whatever today's version of "company policy" was - despite all the inspirational rah-rah "we want all of you to be all you can be and don't be afraid to think outside of the box!" horseshit they claim to hold to in the mission statement.  People get fired every day for creative thinking in jobs like that.  I suppose it goes without saying that this is something a bit more than a mere peeve for me.

 

Edited September 24, 2015 by ratgirlagogo

[bubbls]

 

(I learned that from my mom who was director of volunteers at a large hospital and would be upset when she saw exhausted patients trying to "host" all the relatives who'd show up and hang around the patient's hospital room forever).

 

 

HUGE pet peeve of mine. My iffy relationship with my in-laws was almost permanently ruined due to their getting their panties in a twist over the fact that I didn't want piles of people loitering in my room during all my surgeries. Why do people do this? Maybe I'm weird, but I do not want to entertain when I'm sick. I'm also funny about me hanging out in my nightie in my bed in my hospital room surrounded by fully dressed visitors. It's as if they followed me to the toilet or something. Ack!!

[DeLurker]

The area I live in has lots of trees - policy requires treelines in front of shopping plazas and trees in any wide enough dividers between opposite sides of a road.  Add to that trees lining the streets and roads set out according to some "aesthetically pleasing" manner which mandates pointless curves.

 

I like trees, but I hate when you hear sirens while driving but cannot see where they are coming from nor clearly discern the direction they are coming from.

[bubbls]

I'm sure this will be a common one. I was in Target today, and there was an idiot yacking on his hands-free phone in the parking lot and throughout the store (I kept hearing/seeing him throughout the store for an HOUR!). Dumbass. What kind of idiot can't stop engaging long enough to buy your freaking toilet paper and groceries? Are people truly that desperate for human interaction? Really?!

[auntlada]

I'm not sure this is a pet peeve exactly, but leaders in my workplace have been talking about collaboration a lot in the past year. I think I'm the only one who immediately thinks of World War II France. I mentioned it once, but then had to explain it to people while I sighed inside about how people don't know history any more.

[bubbls]

I'm not sure this is a pet peeve exactly, but leaders in my workplace have been talking about collaboration a lot in the past year. I think I'm the only one who immediately thinks of World War II France. I mentioned it once, but then had to explain it to people while I sighed inside about how people don't know history any more.

 

While I didn't specifically think of France, I did immediately think of WW2 if that makes you feel any better. It's kind of an antiquated word to use.

[auntlada]

It seems to be an education buzzword now.

[janestclair]

It seems to be an education buzzword now.

 

All of education is just putting together different buzzwords. Do not get me started on 'pedagogy' or I might lose it.

 

My peeve today is assholes who block the handicapped curb with their car, and or/handicapped curbs that are not actually handicapped accessible.  They put in new sidewalks by the school where I work, complete with the little red bumpy square for traction (which I also hate because it's not level and I trip) and the curb is not level to the street. So it's still a curb requiring you to step down. I cannot go down the curb.  Grrr.  It's so typical.  Let's meet ADA by putting in this curb, but not think it through enough so that the curb is actually useful. 

 

Actually now that i think about it, being a gimp is my peeve today in general. I have to go to the stupid DMV and renew my permanent parking placard, after having to go to my doctor to get re-certified that yes, I am a gimp, and will be one for the rest of my life.  Do they not get what the word permanent means?  I've had the parking pass since I was a kid, and never had to re-certify.  Thanks for changing the law, douchebags.  Do they realize how much energy and effort all of that requires when you're disabled? 

[BooksRule]

She is also the one who did not want tonsave things on the server that gets backed up because she didn't trust it. She wanted to save things on her desktop, which is never backed up. I finally gave up on that one and told her to save on her computer if she wanted to, but to at least save it to the hard drive, not the desktop.

 

But you've got to watch out for those dirty computer viruses, don't you know!  She might catch something.

[DeLurker]

Taking a post about walkers over to Chit Chat.

 

And due to my laptop mysteriously crashing, I lost my lengthy post with today's peeve.  So the short version:  I was raised Catholic, went to church every Sunday from birth to college, was a military brat so went to a fair number of different churches with different priests over that time.  I stopped going when I went away to college because as when I began to see shades of grey in real life, that did not match up with the Church's more black or white view.  Questioning the Church was not thinkable, but believing something to be morally right but that the Church took a strong stance against really caused me a great deal of internal conflict.

 

Don't tell me some 30 years after I stopped going, that I was misinformed on something because that is not what you were taught in the Catholic church you attended or attend.  Acknowledge that the priests in different churches/parishes/countries (cause some of the ones I went to were not in the US) had different interpretations on Church doctrine and it was not the practice at the time to offer that others might see the matter slightly different.  And do not make me feel ill-informed because the Church has revised their position on a non-headline making topic and I don't know about it. 

[janestclair]

janestclair -- preach it, sister! Having grown up with a sister who uses a wheelchair and now being caregiver for parents who are mobility challenged (how's that for an annoying PC term?), I can empathize with you a bit. Simply complying with the minimum ADA guidelines do not make a business disabled friendly. I appreciate strip malls with lots of van-accessible spots, but I wish they wouldn't clump them all together in the middle of the center. Here's a novel approach -- spread them out all along the parking lot -- close to the entrances, of course.

 

And don't get me started on displays that take up much of the center aisles. I once moved a small table so my sister could go around it and the high school kid who worked in that section of the store came rushing over to tell me I couldn't move it. I calmly explained that once my sister had passed through to the next aisle, I'd put the table back (which I did). What I didn't ask was why he didn't offer help when he could see we needed it.

 

Sorry, back to your peeve -- how long does your "permanent" placard last? Ours are good for four years. Our wheelchair-accessible van has disabled plates, but I had to get a placard for my car for when I take Mom places (she uses a walker). I got the 6-month placards for 2 years, each time having to take Mom in to get a prescription from the doctor. Finally the doc suggested the permanent placard. We got one for Dad, too -- he drives but also uses a walker.

 

I got my original placard around 20 years ago. For all of that time, a permanent placard has been an automatic renew. Every 3 years they would send me a new ID card in the mail no problem.  Recently the law changed to prevent fraud, which I get. It irks me when people use their family member's placard or what have you, and takes a spot I could've used.  But I don't know how making legitimately handicapped people re-certify that they are  permanently disabled reduces that.  We also have a system for temporary cards, so you'd think everyone with a non-permanent issue would get those. 

 

I have to think someone who's never lived with a limiting condition came up with the new law.   It would be nice if the condition I was born with would just disappear and I wouldn't need the placard anymore, but unfortunately we live in reality, where permanent means it isn't going to change, and in fact it's only going to be getting worse as I age.  Goody.

[bubbls]

It seems to be an education buzzword now.

 

I figured. (rolling my eyes)

[Quof]

"Thank you."

"You're welcome"

 

How hard is that?  When did "no problem" replace "you're welcome"?    You hand me my change, my coffee, my shopping bag, I say "thank you" because I'm not a cretin.  You say "you're welcome" because it's your job to do these things, and you were trained to be polite to customers.  Don't tell me it's "no problem", presumably if it weren't a problem you would do it for free rather than for pay.  If saying "you're welcome" all day long becomes tedious, throw in an occasional "my pleasure". 

[Maizie131]

"Thank you."

"You're welcome"

 

How hard is that?  When did "no problem" replace "you're welcome"?    You hand me my change, my coffee, my shopping bag, I say "thank you" because I'm not a cretin.  You say "you're welcome" because it's your job to do these things, and you were trained to be polite to customers.  Don't tell me it's "no problem", presumably if it weren't a problem you would do it for free rather than for pay.  If saying "you're welcome" all day long becomes tedious, throw in an occasional "my pleasure". 

Quof - YES!  How fucking difficult is it to respond, "You're welcome!"?????  Must confess I go to McDonald's about a half dozen times a month...always in the drive-thru.  After giving my order, I ALWAYS say, "Thank you" (in a cheery voice...shit these kids are working for minimum (?) wage, it's the very least I can do).  Over the past YEAR, I can count on ONE HAND the number of times I've heard "You're welcome!".  It supremely pisses me off.  Again, is it that difficult?  BTW, I've never heard "no problem." 

[Quof]

I hear "no problem" all the time. It's rude.   When I call a business and the receptionist or switchboard operator responds with a "no problem" to my "thank you", I tell the Higher Up I called that the staff needs some training in phone manners. 

[BookWoman56]

I occasionally use "No problem" but not as a substitute for "You're welcome." I reserve it for situations in which typically a colleague has asked me to do something above and beyond normal routine (usually when said colleague has procrastinated on a project and needs someone else to do part of it so the project is completed on time), and the colleague says something alone the lines of "I'm so sorry to have inconvenienced you/put you to so much trouble to do XYZ for me." I don't think it's rude in that context. However, it is a conscious choice to use NP instead of "I'm always happy to help" based on the nature of the request and who made it. For me, it's my way of signalling the colleague that yes, I helped you out in your crisis but please don't start assuming that I will always be available or willing to do this kind of thing,such as stay three hours later than usual. 

 

However, a pet peeve I'm glad I no longer have to deal with, because I'm now working entirely from home, is this: people who hog the group fridge in the break room. A few years ago I worked in an office with about 20 people, sharing one break room and one fridge. However, two people essentially took over the fridge. They had 12-packs of diet soda, large economy size bags of carrots and other munchies, and so forth to the point that none of the rest of us could stick our lunch in the fridge. When asked about it, their response was that they were diabetic and so needed the food there. And I understand the need to have some food there, but you're only going to drink one soda, max two, a day;  you don't need the entire case of soda in the fridge. With the carrots,, etc., again, why not bring small bags from home so that other people can use the fridge? You're not going to eat two pounds of baby carrots in one day. That situation meant the rest of us had to bring coolers if we had something that needed to be refrigerated for lunch, or bring something that did not require refrigeration, or leave the office for lunch. I am also diabetic but I don't think it's a reasonable workplace accommodation for me to stick a week's worth of food into the community fridge.

 

 

[Quof]

I once worked in an office with a lunch room with 3 fridges on one floor, and the other floors each had a mini fridge. One day, a very large employee bent down to get her lunch out of her floor's mini fridge, and injured her back.   Management implemented the rule that we could no longer keep lunches in the mini fridges.  Not because of the limited space, but because someone might get hurt bending down to get their lunch.

 

Anyone else see the flaw in that logic?

[Sun-Bun]

Speaking of handicapped placards, a huge pet-peeve of mine are the self-righteous assholes who will actually leave notes/make rude comments to the handicapped drivers because the drivers apparently don't "look handicapped" to them.

My mom has had a placard for the past 20 years---she has a heart condition and a steel plate in her leg. She also is quite active, lives a healthy lifestyle and looks at least 10 years younger than her actual age.

Yet I cannot fathom how anyone could actually confront her with stupid questions/rude comments the way she has been in the past, some even leaving nasty notes on her windshield!

Newsflash, morons: not everyone who is handicapped "looks" handicapped or has visible ailments.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

I'm not offended by "no problem" -- the French say "de rien" and the Spanish say "de nada;" both mean "it's nothing.

I agree. It doesn't bother me at all.  I've noticed that people whose first language is Russian or Spanish use it a lot (the Russian phrase sounds something like "biz problem"). However I have learned from other discussion boards like this one that it really pisses off a lot of people, so I'm careful to never say it myself at work.

Edited September 27, 2015 by ratgirlagogo

[annzeepark914]

Count me in with those who enjoy hearing "You're welcome".  It truly bugs me to hear "no problem" or "sure"...especially voiced by people interviewed on TV news programs (I'm not referring to the man/woman on the street type interviewees).  A columnist for the Washington Post once asked his readers for their pet peeves (yeah!!!).  Someone mentioned the missing "you're welcome" and others wrote in that saying you're welcome sounds too haughty, that it makes a person feel as though they're being condescending to the thanker.

[crowswork]

Newsflash, morons: not everyone who is handicapped "looks" handicapped or has visible ailments.

My late sister had a quad Bypass years ago. They cut her legs up getting veins and she got an infection that required opening the outer incision. It looked ghastly.

 

Of course a guy noticed her placard and since she was healthy looking made a comment. She opened her shirt and stuck her chest with it's nasty 4 inch wide raw wound into his car window. (You had the scrub it twice a day with a brush and leave it open....ughh) 

 

I think she cured him.

 

[bmasters9]

I once worked in an office with a lunch room with 3 fridges on one floor, and the other floors each had a mini fridge. One day, a very large employee bent down to get her lunch out of her floor's mini fridge, and injured her back.   Management implemented the rule that we could no longer keep lunches in the mini fridges.  Not because of the limited space, but because someone might get hurt bending down to get their lunch.

 

Anyone else see the flaw in that logic?

I'm guessing that since that one employee injured her back bending down to get her lunch out, they said "no more lunches in the mini fridges" because they didn't want to have to pay for possible injuries from other people bending down. Am I accurate about that?

[Quof]

But she could just have easily hurt her back bending down to get coffee cream, which was still allowed. The fact it was lunch makes no difference.

[glowlights]

Actually now that i think about it, being a gimp is my peeve today in general. I have to go to the stupid DMV and renew my permanent parking placard, after having to go to my doctor to get re-certified that yes, I am a gimp, and will be one for the rest of my life.  Do they not get what the word permanent means?  I've had the parking pass since I was a kid, and never had to re-certify.  Thanks for changing the law, douchebags.  Do they realize how much energy and effort all of that requires when you're disabled? 

 

Maybe they want people to re-certify periodically because new treatments and advancements in care mean better outcomes for certain conditions, that may not have existed 20 years ago? Then again, I was watching Comedy Warriors and a vet who lost both legs talked about being denied disability benefits because "condition is not expected to last longer than 12 months". Apparently, the government thought he could just grow new ones. :(

 

My pet peeve today is people who get mad and self-righteous if someone is not willing to join in on condemning someone or assuming their guilt without hearing all the evidence. I'm not being "heartless" when I refuse to get out my torch and pitchfork because someone "looks" guilty (whatever that's supposed to mean) or based on limited reports in media. What's wrong with weighing facts and evidence, and reserving judgment?

[BW Manilowe]

I've had this Pet Peeve for a long time, but I never remember it when I'm here. I'm watching something on Food Network & that reminded me of it, because someone did it on the show I'm watching.

I cannot stand when someone says the word "bagels" as if it's actually pronounced "begels" (or they say any other word with a long A sound & substitute an "EH" sound for the long A--I'm pretty sure there are other words I've heard people do this with, but the example given was in the show I'm watching). Is it really that hard to pronounce a long A, as opposed to an "EH" sound?

[Qoass]

I have somehow gotten into the habit of replying to thank yous with "No worries".  I know.  I will redouble my efforts to stop doing that.

 

We have lots of parking spaces for the handicapped in front of our public library so many able bodied people leave their cars in the fire lane in front of the door so they don't have to walk the extra 20 yards from the regular parking lot.  I always want to leave a note on their windshields saying, "Which part of 'No Parking' confuses you?".

[bubbls]

If we're griping about parking I'm joining in! As if I need an excuse, hehe. One of my biggest pet peeves is bad parkers. You know, those people who hog into your parking space? Park crooked? Park in too far so you zoom in excited to find a spot only to find some tiny little car pushed in too deep to see from a distance? People who let their car ass hang out into the lane? Need I go on? I keep swearing I'm going to create some official looking You Park Like An Asshole tickets to stick to those cars. Well, except the little cars; that's not really bad parking, it just annoys me.

[DeLurker]

Jeez...I walked out of a coffee shop last week and realized I had done a horrendous parking job!  It was empty around me when I pulled in so I did not notice, but when I came out I realized it was all sorts of bad.  And when someone said "thank you to me" I said "no problem".   Oh the shame!  But she said thank you because I told her to go in front of me at the check out line because she has just a few items and was clearly in a hurry.

 

One of my cousins has recently become deeply religious so all her emails now (and apparently facebook posts I am told) are of that nature - lots of stuff about salvation and forgiveness, moving to God's path...I am happy for her if she has found peace and purpose in her life, but I am very uncomfortable on what verges as recruitment or proselytizing.

[backformore]

Jeez...I walked out of a coffee shop last week and realized I had done a horrendous parking job!  It was empty around me when I pulled in so I did not notice, but when I came out I realized it was all sorts of bad.

 

Well, in your defense, you were coming OUT of a coffee shop.  Presumably, when you  had parked the car you were caffeine-deprived, which I consider to be a legitimate defense.  I use it all the time.

[ABay]

A student just thanked me for helping her, I said "no problem" out of reflex, and then immediately cringed inwardly as I thought of your collective reaction.

[Quof]

On a positive note, I found some nice black leather riding boots that zip up over my calves.  The downside - the clerk announced "Oh, you want to try the wide calf boots?"  Hey, I'm sure the people around me could guess the calves under my jeans are not supermodel svelte, but come on.  It's like when the cashier checks size on the bra tag against the size on the box as she rings it in, and announces it.

[auntlada]

I have a friend who was at Old Navy one time when the clerk told him they don't carry clothes in his size. (And it's not true. He's in his 40s and has gotten bigger since college -- like most of us -- but he's not huge. Old Navy has clothes that size.)

 

I most often use "no problem" when people say, "I appreciate you doing whatever," instead of "thank you." You're welcome doesn't work when someone says, "I appreciate it," and I never know what to say. Sometimes I automatically say, "You're welcome," and then have nothing to say when the person follows up with, "Thank you." And then I find I can't get the person off the phone. Email is just so much easier for some of us.

[Sandman87]

I can't imagine caring whether someone responds to a thank you with "you're welcome" or "no problem" or "de nada" or whatever, as long as there's an actual response. I'll even accept a silent nod of the head or a smile. It's the people who don't respond at all that piss me off.

[Maizie131]

I can't imagine caring whether someone responds to a thank you with "you're welcome" or "no problem" or "de nada" or whatever, as long as there's an actual response. I'll even accept a silent nod of the head or a smile. It's the people who don't respond at all that piss me off.

I totally agree with you, Sandman.  ANY response is better than none.  (A nod to Abay, too -- what you did was nice...don't beat yourself up over it.  I'd have been real happy to hear that.)

[Sun-Bun]

Speaking of non-responses, I'm so tired of saying "hi" to folks and they don't even respond.

Like if you're staring right at me in passing((which is weird enough)), and I nod and/or greet you to make the moment less awkward, the POLITE manner is to respond in turn, not keep staring at me like a socially-retarded moron. Sheesh.

((Being a teacher, I'm especially cognizant of this and am teaching it to any student I encounter who does this))

Edited September 29, 2015 by Sun-Bun

[Quof]

And when someone said "thank you to me" I said "no problem".   Oh the shame!  But she said thank you because I told her to go in front of me at the check out line because she has just a few items and was clearly in a hurry.

But the difference is, you did something you weren't obligated to do, she thanked you for going out of your way to help her, and you've indicated it really wasn't an imposition on you to do it.  That's entirely different than someone who is doing their job, is thanked for doing their job because the customer has basic manners, and the employee says "no problem".  Of course it's a "problem", that's why they get paid to do it.  They don't show up at work every day just for fun, or volunteer to do these tasks on their day off.  I spent a lot of years in customer/food service while paying for university, and every employer drilled into our heads "Please, thank you, you're welcome".    I shudder to think what my first employer, a man in his 60s, would do if he heard me tell a customer "no problem."

[33kaitykaity]

One of my cousins has recently become deeply religious so all her emails now (and apparently facebook posts I am told) are of that nature - lots of stuff about salvation and forgiveness, moving to God's path...I am happy for her if she has found peace and purpose in her life, but I am very uncomfortable on what verges as recruitment or proselytizing.

I have a friend I've known for about 35 years who is also deeply religious.  We talk all the time now, but there was about five years where I didn't talk to her at all because of all of the "God" stuff.  All of that is now absent from her communications with me because she now seems to understand and respect my agnosticism and yet she loves me anyway.  "Did you have to go all God on me?" is all I have to say since I have sent her treatise after tract after manifesto of why I can't go for the big "Penis in the Sky."  

 

My pet peeve today is Google and Chrome.  Why do they have to keep changing things?  Now there's a notification manager that shows up on the XP taskbar and the "Aw Crap" reload page has changed with no reload button.  Leave things alone, please. I was so happy when they finally stopped trying to get me to join Google+ or to consolidate all of my accounts or any/all of those annoying messages, but now, what the fuck?  Leave it alone! 

[auntlada]

But the difference is, you did something you weren't obligated to do, she thanked you for going out of your way to help her, and you've indicated it really wasn't an imposition on you to do it.  That's entirely different than someone who is doing their job, is thanked for doing their job because the customer has basic manners, and the employee says "no problem".  Of course it's a "problem", that's why they get paid to do it.  They don't show up at work every day just for fun, or volunteer to do these tasks on their day off.  I spent a lot of years in customer/food service while paying for university, and every employer drilled into our heads "Please, thank you, you're welcome".    I shudder to think what my first employer, a man in his 60s, would do if he heard me tell a customer "no problem."

I use no problem at work when people thank me for doing my job because it is my job. I'm not doing it out of the goodness of my heart -- believe me. I'm doing it because I'm being paid to do it. It's not going out of my way. It's my job. So it shouldn't be a problem, and although thanks are nice, they aren't necessary for doing what I should be doing. I don't deal with the public, though. When I get a call from a member of the public, it is going out if my way to help (and I try my best to do so even though my best is usually just finding out who is the right person to talk to) because I don't do anything that the public needs. I am never the person to call so if you get me on the phone, someone else messed up.