The Shows of 2015: More Indecipherable Seasonings

[cattykit]

I'm still trying to get on Chopped in the home cook special division, playing for my dead cat, complete with a huge photo of him pinned to my shirt.

I just now got a vision of Chopped Pets, with cats as judges.  Cats can sniff and sneer better than any Chopped judge.  Stinkeye better than Alex's.  I want to see someone transform those baskets into something a cat would eat.  [if you had Chopped Dogs, you could put old newspapers and feces in the mystery baskets and the dogs would still eat whatever you made.]

[Bella]

My dad would say that anything my mom made was the best food ever, and we'd joke that she could serve him dog food and he'd still say that. She's actually a good cook, but he was OTT in his praise, including when she had 3 teenagers, was in college herself, and made 1/2 our meals using Hamburger Helper. I mean really, that was junk!

 

Maybe they should do a series of "old foods" or convenience foods. Give them a box of de-labeled Hamburger Helper, some coleslaw in Jello, bologna, and Pringles, for example. I just grossed myself out, but they could do a "1960s food" series or something like that.

 

Anyway, I haven't actually watched this show for a while, I just come in and read the comments here - which are better than the show, quite frankly.

[cooksdelight]

The Astronaut Wives Club featured foods we'd all forgotten about from the 60s. Tater tot casserole, lots of Jell-O salads. I think a retro version of Chopped would be fun. See what someone could do with that old stuff to make it palatable for today's judges.

[Gbb]

I'm still trying to get on Chopped in the home cook special division, playing for my dead cat, complete with a huge photo of him pinned to my shirt.

 

In your application, refer to him only by name or "long-time companion."* They'll think you have a typical sob story and eat it up with a spoon. Then show up with the cat photo ;)

 

*I'm playing for my long-time companion Blinkie. Blinkie shared my life for 7 years before he was run over by a careless driver right in front of me. Medical professionals did all they could, but in the end I made the decision to let them euthanize him.**

 

**No offense to you or your dead cat...

Edited November 10, 2015 by Gbb

[cattykit]

No way were they going to chop Maria von Trapp, I mean Mother Teresa, I mean Saint Alicia.

[cooksdelight]

Gbb, you made my day.

*copying/pasting to my application....*

[backformore]

The Thanksgiving episode -

I don't like when people attribute everything to god.  After many years of catholic school education, I tend to dislike nuns.   But dammit, Chopped had me rooting for that plucky little nun!  

[ZoqFotPik]

 

No way were they going to chop Maria von Trapp, I mean Mother Teresa, I mean Saint Alicia.

While I think it was definitely her competition to lose, I don't think they just handed her the win. I thought she really did prepare the best food.

[The Hound Lives]

The Thanksgiving episode -

I don't like when people attribute everything to god.  After many years of catholic school education, I tend to dislike nuns.   But dammit, Chopped had me rooting for that plucky little nun!  

I actually like it when people attribute their success (part or all) to something or someone. Whether it be God or their Grandma or a special Teacher or finding sobriety, etc.. I find it humbling. Granted, the sob stories can grate but it's a nice balance to all the "Chefs" on this show (or any contestant on these formatted reality shows) who think they are King Shit. For every contestant we have praising God or Great-Aunt Mary, we have another contestant who goes on and on about "I am above my competition/I have more skills". I definitely think 90% of these people go on to prove something to someone else, moreso than themselves. The other 10% do it for money and bragging rights. 

[JessDVD]

I just caught the Thanksgiving episode. A nun competed. I feel like this is the high point for Chopped. I really wanted both finalists to win actually although it did seem that Sister Alicia (whose name Ted pronounced Uh-LEE-see-uh and Uh-LEESH-uh equal amounts of times) had the superior cooking skills.

 

We also enjoyed how each basket had more or less the same ingredients. Of all the shticks that Chopped has tried to make happen, that one is the most interesting IMO.

[Bella]

I was happy with Sister Alicia winning despite the fact that I was weirded out by her name, having spent 2 of my grade school years being taught by a different Sister Alicia.

 

I was also pleased with the winner of the most recent military chefs competition. 

[backformore]

A new all dessert episode.  the bald guy with the weird gauge earrings was hard for me to look at.   He kept talking about his mother, who passed away.  every other sentence was about his mother.  She taught him to bake, this is the kind of cake she liked on her birthday, she used to make candy, this is mom's recipe for frosting, rice pudding reminds him of his mm - and on and on and on.  he made a dessert for his mom, and he got all tearful.    And all I could think of was -  did she ever see those horrible things in your ears?  Because, from a mom's perspective - WHY would you purposely mutilate your ears like that? 

[GaT]

A new all dessert episode.  the bald guy with the weird gauge earrings was hard for me to look at.   He kept talking about his mother, who passed away.  every other sentence was about his mother.  She taught him to bake, this is the kind of cake she liked on her birthday, she used to make candy, this is mom's recipe for frosting, rice pudding reminds him of his mm - and on and on and on.  he made a dessert for his mom, and he got all tearful.   

I realize people grieve in different ways, but he said she died 10 years ago. While he should certainly remember her & there isn't anything wrong with creating a dish in her honor, this guy seemed to think about her way too much, by now he should be able to live his life without his mommy.

[cooksdelight]

He's watched enough Chopped to know how to milk a sob story.

[bad things are bad]

That was annoying as hell. My mother died 7 years ago, also unexpectedly. Should I still be whingeing about it? I miss her a lot but jeebus. I manage to go entire days without obsessing about her memory. Maybe I'm just not so nice :)

 

Those ear thingies ick me out. What are those earlobes going to look like in 20 years? (hint: not good)

 

I think Jasmin got robbed in any case. 

[mlp]

That guy's earlobes were making me cringe as was his obsession with his long departed mother but he works for Stephanie Izard so I was willing to accept that he's a good pastry chef.  I don't think she'd have him otherwise.  In fact, despite his lack of appeal, I thought he earned his win.  Jasmin was cute but she came across as rather too impressed with herself.

[xaxat]

I laughed hard when Zakarian was talking about not paying debts and chasing your dreams.

 

Because he truly speaks from experience. 

Edited November 25, 2015 by xaxat

[GaT]

Why is this show on 3 times this week? I didn't watch 2 shows from last week because I don't have time to devote hours every week to watching Chopped, & there's a very good chance I won't be watching tonight's show. They have enough trouble getting good chefs, why are they overwhelming us with episodes?

[backformore]

That was annoying as hell. My mother died 7 years ago, also unexpectedly. Should I still be whingeing about it? I miss her a lot but jeebus. I manage to go entire days without obsessing about her memory. Maybe I'm just not so nice :)

 

Those ear thingies ick me out. What are those earlobes going to look like in 20 years? (hint: not good)

 

I think Jasmin got robbed in any case. 

My mom died two months ago, and I don't talk about her as much as this guy talked about his mother!  

 

The earlobes are gross.  I've seen what it looks like when those plug things aren't in, and it give me the creeps - like a rubber band of flesh hanging off your ear.  He was difficult to look at. 

Oh - and the advice to NOT pay off student loans?  WTF!!!!   That's not the advice I give my kids!

[backgroundnoise]

Oh - and the advice to NOT pay off student loans?  WTF!!!!   That's not the advice I give my kids!

Really, that angered me a bit.  That just leaves the rest of us to pick up the tab from the deadbeats.  Very bad advice.

 

I hope the guy was playing the mother thing for drama, because if he really is that obsessed with her, I'd be concerned for him.  He needs start making his own traditions and baking for himself, too.

Edited November 25, 2015 by backgroundnoise

[xaxat]

Zakarian's advice really was shitty. You can stop paying federal loans. But he government can garnish your wages, ruin your credit rating and send an army of collectors after you to get their money.

 

Bankruptcy could be an option, but I think it's pretty hard to discharge student loans. Probably harder than discharging obligations owed to employees that you may have decided not to pay. (Speaking purely hypothetically of course.)

[anonymiss]

I don't like how chefs who work for well-connected chefs tend to win. It always makes me wonder if the fix is in, which I suppose isn't fair, but it seems to happen a bit too often to be coincidental. 

[Darian]

Didn't Zakarian just say not to pay off the loan? Or pay the whole prize toward it? That's how I remember it. I took it as you won't have a lump sum of money like this again, so take it and do something fun that will also help your career. The chef could do that and keep making payments. I don't see where he said ruin your credit and default. Just don't use the whole prize to pay it off. 

[bad things are bad]

My mom died two months ago,

 

Backformore, I am sorry for your loss.

[xaxat]

Didn't Zakarian just say not to pay off the loan? Or pay the whole prize toward it? That's how I remember it. I took it as you won't have a lump sum of money like this again, so take it and do something fun that will also help your career. The chef could do that and keep making payments. I don't see where he said ruin your credit and default. Just don't use the whole prize to pay it off. 

 

I was kind of (OK, not really) worried that I had libeled Jeffery so I watched that part again. The chef mentions that she would use the money to pay off her loans and he replies, "Don't pay them off. Use the ten thousand for something that will make you smarter. Travel, go to fifty restaurants, take the classes you want. That's going to brighten your future way more than paying the debt."

 

I wonder if that's the advice he received from his bankruptcy attorney. 

[Darian]

Yes, he said don't pay them "off," and to use the prize money to travel, etc. My interpretation remains that he meant don't pay the loans off with the prize. He didn't say to stop making payments. It's the decision people make pretty often in regards to financial windfalls or even tax refunds. Do we pay off this bill or use it for something fun? If you use it for something fun, that doesn't mean you don't make any further payments on the bill you considered paying off.   I don't see anything in Jeffrey's words that contradicts my interpretation. I remembered it right.

[xaxat]

OK, I see what you mean now. And it's probably how he intended that comment.

 

It's just that his own personal history with owing people money led me to take a less charitable interpretation.

[cattykit]

I just thought it was sad that they had a competition specifically highlighting chocolate and Amanda was not one of the judges.  Life is not fair.

 

And I didn't like Johnny Iuzzini on TC Desserts and I don't like him now.

[backgroundnoise]

Note to chef with nasty-divorce-in-past-because-wife-cheated-on-him-with-another-man-because-he-worked-all-hours-of-the-day-and-has-two-daughters-he-left-to-move-to-Chicago-but-talks-to-every-day-along-with-new-woman-in-his-life-he's-going-to-propose-to:

 

TMI.

Edited November 26, 2015 by backgroundnoise

[backformore]

Note to chef with nasty-divorce-in-past-because-wife-cheated-on-him-with-another-man-because-he-worked-all-hours-of-the-day-and-has-two-daughters-he-left-to-move-to-Chicago-but-talks-to-every-day-along-with-new-woman-in-his-life-he's-going-to-propose-to:

 

TMI.

Yeah, I was thinking about the daughter's watching daddy on tv and hearing how mommy cheated on him. They don't need to know that.

[cooksdelight]

A gastropub competition... with one chef not knowing what gastropub food was. Hell, I'm not sure I do either. Way to go, show, trying to be trendy.

[backformore]

Backformore, I am sorry for your loss.

Thank you.  Holidays are weird this year.  

 

A gastropub competition... with one chef not knowing what gastropub food was. Hell, I'm not sure I do either. Way to go, show, trying to be trendy.

Yeah, weird concept.   What I'm getting is - pub food is not as elegant and refined as restaurant food.   Gastropub food is an elegant, refined version of pub food.  

SO - isn't that RESTAURANT food?   No, now the judges are  saying that ANYTHING  can be gastropub food.  so how is it a concept if t just equals "food"?

Or maybe gastropub food is over-priced burger, tacos, and fried food?  with stuff like "gribiche" and "charcuterie".  

 

OK - hipster food!   that's it! 

[xaxat]

I always considered gastropub to be a term introduced by British chefs like Heston Blumenthal and Gordon Ramsay to say "Hey, we're really good chefs, but not as pretentious as the French!"

[Bella]

Yes, he said don't pay them "off," and to use the prize money to travel, etc. My interpretation remains that he meant don't pay the loans off with the prize. He didn't say to stop making payments. It's the decision people make pretty often in regards to financial windfalls or even tax refunds. Do we pay off this bill or use it for something fun? If you use it for something fun, that doesn't mean you don't make any further payments on the bill you considered paying off.   I don't see anything in Jeffrey's words that contradicts my interpretation. I remembered it right.

 

ITA. The best advice would have been something like "you might be best off using the money for something other than paying off a low-interest loan." It's like I have a 0.9% interest rate on my car loan. If I came into some money, I'd be insane to pay off that loan because it's so friggin' low. 

[GaT]

I was really worried they were going to give the win to the chef who left 2 basket ingredients off of her plate, I would have gone ballistic if they had.

[JessDVD]

Mac & cheese episode:

Ted: Dessert- have we taken this mac & cheese theme one round too far?

Alex, without hesitation: Yes.

[Drogo]

Just caught the desserts show and I thought Matthew Rice was sweet. He misses his mom, and he's young. He wanted the prize money to pay off his bills which I always prefer to buying engagement rings ("If you don't give me the win, this chick's never getting married, No Presh"), plus I want him to make me Fruit Loops truffles someday.

FYI I just turned on the mac and cheese special and already someone's talking about being a refugee, in the jungle, as a child. And another chef who makes boxed mac and cheese for her kids "3-4 times a week." The hell is this..

[grisgris]

Wow. Kelsey Nixon can't catch a break. She was on celebrity "Cutthroat Kitchen" a few weeks ago and also went out in the first round. I don't think she has the chops to compete with the big boys or something.

 

I knew Kelsey, Gabriele and Roger Mooking, but not that big strange bearded dude. There was something creepy about him. If he was trying to pull of the "off the beaten path" vibe, it wasn't working.

 

I didn't really care who won between Gabriele and Roger. I got tired of Gabriele acting appalled/perplexed by the "strange American ingredients." I think that once he figured out by the entree' round that he wasn't going to win by Tuscanizing all of the basket ingredients he kind of gave up. I've seen him make desserts on "Extra Virgin," so I didn't get his statement that he didn't cook desserts very much.

[cooksdelight]

If Kelsey hadn't cut herself and burned her hash, she might have not been chopped first round. That took time away from her to have a medic look at her wound, and she couldn't regain her composure.

[grisgris]

Maybe so. I felt bad for Kelsey. I think she's a great cook and I love her personality and catch her shows when I can. I was just thinking that maybe these competitions shows aren't the best venue for her talents. I also felt horrible when she told her story about having the premature baby. I thought she was talking about her toddler, Oliver. Then I read that she lost a premature baby boy earlier this year.

[GaT]

I was just thinking that maybe these competitions shows aren't the best venue for her talents. 

Exactly. Some people keep turning up on cooking competition shows, but they never win. This should be a clue that maybe you're doing it wrong.

[grisgris]

Well, Kelsey didn't win FNS back in 2008, but look who now has TWO shows on The Cooking Channel!

[chessiegal]

Well, Kelsey didn't win FNS back in 2008, but look who now has TWO shows on The Cooking Channel!

I think her new show on CC is a replacement for Kelsey's Essentials, but congrats on getting another show. Aaron McGargo who won her season is nowhere to be seen, even in reruns, I think Bobby Flay saw her potential, since he exec produces her shows and uses his production company.

[Bastet]

I didn't have Cooking Channel until fairly recently, so I only saw its programming during free previews.  The one episode I saw of Kelsey, she made something awful looking with frozen meatballs, so I was not impressed.  I've never really gone back to her, but I've heard she's better than that.

 

I wonder if she hadn't cut herself (and thus left her food to burn) if she'd have passed through to the second round, but I'm still looking for something to impress me.

 

Debi Mazar's Tuscan husband over played his "gee, what is this American style of cooking?" hand, and I don't really have words for someone who would take beef tenderloin and make a quick stew out of it.   So this would come down to rooting for a charity, but I fell asleep and can't remember what anyone chose. 

[mlp]

I don't get the Cooking Channel so I'd never seen Kelsey but I knew who she is - cute and perky little thing.  I liked her.  I had no idea who the guy with the beard is.  Still don't.  The Mazurs IMO are the Tuscan version of the Neeleys.  Yecch.  I've always liked Roger Mooking so I was very glad he won.

[NaughtyKitty]

I just watched the family battle and this is the first time that I really hated all 4 chefs.  What an awful entitled lazy family.  My ire probably started during the intro and it showed them in the restaurant kitchen.  No aprons, no chef coat, no hair nets, touching food with their hands.  Remind me never to go to their restaurant!  Then, they all felt entitled for the win and all of their food looked disgusting!  I love watching Chopped, but this episode really turned me off.  No need to use that theme again!

[Rammchick]

Enough with the gimmicky shit already, Chopped. We all liked the format with the real chefs. No more lunch ladies, has-been TV stars, relatives who own restaurants together, in-laws, outlaws or obnoxious teenagers. You would think that there would be enough interesting and entertaining variety just on the basis of the strange basket ingredients, not to mention the sob stories that the Food Network loves so much.

[NikSac]

Plus they gave them a bunch of pre-made food AGAIN.  I am getting so annoyed with that. I get it as a fun item in a "leftovers" challenge or a tricky basket item, but seems like lately it's a lot of the basket items. That said, funny enough the only thing I thought sounded good or at least interesting was the Tzatziki potato salad.

 

I did enjoy the stinging nettles. Only because I think I'd be scared to cook or eat them just because of the name, so that seemed like a good challenge.

 

NaughtyKitty no kidding. For once maybe they should've mentioned the restaurant name more, not for the free advertising but so we'd know where to avoid.

[NewDigs]

I kind of liked the lunch ladies.

They seemed more sincere than the other gimmicky setups.

[Psychobunny]

I just watched the behind the scenes episode and it was interesting. The part about the judges was fairly accurate but I can't believe that they left out Alex's obsession with acid. Otherwise they did seem to hit most of the judges' quirks. Chris really does seem to get the lion's share of the inedible things doesn't he?

Edited December 26, 2015 by Psychobunny