Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch

[ozziemom]

IIRC John wasn’t too worried about the girls and the pool when they first moved to this house. Something about they were obedient so if told to stay away from the pool, of course they would.

[Heathen]

17 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

IIRC John wasn’t too worried about the girls and the pool when they first moved to this house. Something about they were obedient so if told to stay away from the pool, of course they would.

Tragedies come from that kind of stupidity. 

[GeeGolly]

I would be a crazy parent having young kids and babies with a pool steps from my backdoor.

I'd have extra high interior locks on the slider. I'd have an alarm on the door. I'd have a barrier fence in between the back door and the pool and I'd have a floating alarm in the pool.

But, unlike the Websters, I would never had bought that house if I had young children.

[floridamom]

I thought it was against code to not have a fence around an in-ground swimming pool here in Florida. They live in Lake County, which I believe has this code. I can't believe how lazy John and Alyssa are with their children. Swimming lessons, proper real ones, are almost a necessity here in Florida. You can book the lessons together; one after the other if you ask. I did that for my children and made one trip for private lessons many summers those years ago. They now have a life skill forever. I shake my head at these two.

[65mickey]

Their yard is fenced. But they do not have a fence separating the pool from the house. When they first moved in they put up some flimsy metal curtain thing to keep the kids out. But a child could easily crawl under that thing. The only 2 kids who were actually swimming a bit last year were Allie and Lexie. Zoey was still wearing floaties. And Maci was only in the pool when someone was holding her. I am willing to bet money that they have not had these kids in swimming lessons with a certifed water safety instructor. If so they are taking a huge risk with these children. All it takes is for someone to forget to lock the sliding door and for a curious child to get out and decide to jump or to fall in the pool. I don't understand people who take chances with their children. 

[AgathaC]

I have a major fear of water — in large part because I have an uncle who died in a swimming accident (he was an adult at the time, so not the kid can’t swim situation). It was before I was born, but I grew up knowing the story. So, water safety is huge for me.

People who actually own a pool and don’t take proper precautions infuriate me. There are so many stories about good, responsible parents who end up living with tragedy. So people who don’t even bother to hedge their bets… No words.

When Hubby and I married, I insisted Stepson (then six) get real swim lessons. He was still in floaties at the time (babied by mom — a whole other story). We got him in with a lady my sisters used, known as “the swim Nazi.” (She wasn’t that bad — just firm and pushed them.) He cried every time. Hubs didn’t budge and made him go. Guess what? stepson (aged 12 now) can swim like a fish and loves it. And we don’t even own a pool or know anyone who does.

I don’t understand these fundies and their lackadaisical approach to safety. I guess “Jesus saves”?

[Notabug]

My nephew drowned in a swimming pool when he was 5.  Just thinking about Alyssa's kids living in a home where their parents are doing virtually nothing to protect them against accidental drowning is making me cry.  It's been 32 years and still I cry at the thought of little kids drowning.

PS: it was a pool at an apartment complex surrounded by a fence and locked gate.  He and a little friend pulled a picnic table up to the fence and climbed over.  It was off-season, he drowned in the water that accumulated from snow and rain.  The other little boy, age 6, survived with severe brain damage.  His mental age was measured at 2 months after the accident.  They had been playing on the patio outside the apartment where the friend lived, his father had seen them and told them not to leave the patio about 10 minutes before they were missed.  My nephew had taken beginner swimming lessons.  Doesn't help much in dirty, cold water while fully dressed.

Edited June 16, 2023 by Notabug

[BitterApple]

30 minutes ago, AgathaC said:

I have a major fear of water — in large part because I have an uncle who died in a swimming accident (he was an adult at the time, so not the kid can’t swim situation). It was before I was born, but I grew up knowing the story. So, water safety is huge for me.

My husband is the same way. When he was a kid his teenage cousin was drinking at a house party, fell in the owner's pool and drowned. Ever since then, he's never been big on swimming. We have a pool, but he never uses it. 

The thing that worries me about Alyssa is it seems like she really doesn't have a handle on things. She constantly mentions being overwhelmed, and when you're stressed and tired you get careless. 

[AgathaC]

26 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

My husband is the same way. When he was a kid his teenage cousin was drinking at a house party, fell in the owner's pool and drowned. Ever since then, he's never been big on swimming. We have a pool, but he never uses it. 

The thing that worries me about Alyssa is it seems like she really doesn't have a handle on things. She constantly mentions being overwhelmed, and when you're stressed and tired you get careless. 

Same here. I absolutely know how to swim, but I’ve never particularly enjoyed doing it.

And exactly — stressed, tired, overwhelmed people make mistakes. Unfortunately, it’s the children who often pay a steep price. Even if nothing tragic happens, stressed parents can take it out on the kids. We’ve already seen how short and dismissive she can be with Ally. Just sad. Too many kids in too short of a time, all out of devotion to a damaging cult and a ridiculous quest for the golden penis.

Someone should explain to these people that “can” doesn’t mean “should.”

[3 is enough]

I have security latches on all of my exterior doors so my grandchildren can not wander out to the pool. I did this as soon as soon as the oldest was mobile. They only visit a couple of times a year, but it was a no brainer. 
Alyssa’s set up is a tragedy waiting to happen.

[GeeGolly]

I grew up in, on and around water and raised my kids the same way. We are all very comfortable around water, but also have huge respect for it.

But like I said above, Alyssa's set up is just not a good set up for young kids. But I was a lazy/careful parent, meaning for each stage of my kids' lives I wanted the home environment as safe/childproof as possible so they could be independent and I didn't have on top of them all the time or saying no, or don't touch, etc.

Even beyond the pool, Alyssa's home is not a kid friendly home.

[satrunrose]

Adding to the sadness is their Father saying they're too obedient to go into the pool. So either they're totally typical kids with normal curiosity and lack of understanding of consequences and there's a disaster brewing, or that typical childhood curiosity has been either browbeaten or literally beaten out of them already. 

[Heathen]

12 hours ago, floridamom said:

I thought it was against code to not have a fence around an in-ground swimming pool here in Florida. They live in Lake County, which I believe has this code. I can't believe how lazy John and Alyssa are with their children. Swimming lessons, proper real ones, are almost a necessity here in Florida. You can book the lessons together; one after the other if you ask. I did that for my children and made one trip for private lessons many summers those years ago. They now have a life skill forever. I shake my head at these two.

Here in Michigan, I believe code also states that there must be a fence around a pool. But according to my (idiot) old neighbor, the regular yard fence qualifies as the pool fence. They had a fenced backyard and built an above-ground pool on top of the septic tank. Like I said, idiot. 

Back to the Websters, lazy is right. With four kids, now five, they could probably get a swim instructor to come to the house. But Alyssa is too lazy to bother. 

[floridamom]

My son's childhood friend had an in ground pool in their fenced yard with a screen enclosure over the back patio/pool. They also followed code and installed a fence right around the pool itself. This is what Alyssa needs. That pool isn't far from the house and isn't on a large lot with a lot of surrounding patio. The pool is right near the back of the house. They really need to put their children first and install that fence AND sign them up for swimming lessons. This should not be a struggle for a parent to do....it is doing what you can to protect your children for the rest of their lives.

[P2C2E]

My parents bought a house with a pool when I was young. They installed a six foot fence around the pool before we moved in and put a lock on the gate. They also had rescue equipment hanging on the fence (long shepherd crook, life ring with a rope). We weren't allowed to swim without adult supervision and anytime they hosted parties they had a rotation of adults that were specifically on lifeguard duty.

I'm appalled at John and Alyssa's reaction and horrified that they think obedience is enough to keep their children safe. Children are not capable of this kind of risk assessment. I don't know why this is the thing that has shocked me the most about this family, but here we are.

Also, how abusive must their blanket training etc be if they are so confident in their children's obedience and can't even consider that their children might behave contrarily. Absolutely, impress upon your children that something might be dangerous but then take steps to reduce the likelihood of that danger!

I'm so fucking mad right now.

[Tdoc72]

We have a fence & locking gate around our pool. Recently my 16 yr old asked if she could swim alone which I’m not crazy about. She thinks it’s unfair to have her grandmother sit with her.  (It’s not open yet so we have time to go round and round.)
 

I’ve thought John & Alyssa have been lax about the pool since they moved in. Of course I don’t want anything to happen but I would’ve be surprised if it it did IYKWIM. 

[floridamom]

Obedient children have nothing to do with it IMO. John is so wrong as accidents can happen and have happened. No child drowned in a pool on purpose.

[Natalie68]

On 6/15/2023 at 11:21 AM, ranchgirl said:

I don't even know what the baby is sleeping on and in, so I don't know about its use, but shouldn't the baby be sleeping on his back?  The fact that he is on his stomach is what caught my attention.  Unless he is already rolling over and if he is then he just needs to be on his crib mattress.  

Looks like a dog bed

[SMama]

Alyssa posted to ask her fans if they wanted her to do a YouTube video on assumptions about them. I don’t think she’s going to like some of the responses. Especially after the birth of TGP. 

[ozziemom]

3 hours ago, SMama said:

Alyssa posted to ask her fans if they wanted her to do a YouTube video on assumptions about them. I don’t think she’s going to like some of the responses. Especially after the birth of TGP. 

She will probably ignore any response she doesn’t want to reply to.

[Salacious Kitty]

21 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

She will probably ignore any response she doesn’t want to reply to.

But she'll still see them. 

[floridamom]

Didn't they already do a video on assumptions?

[Salacious Kitty]

13 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Didn't they already do a video on assumptions?

They're all doing them, so it's easy to confuse them. Carlin and Katie have recently done them, maybe Josie as well?

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, ozziemom said:

She will probably ignore any response she doesn’t want to reply to.

Too bad their “fans” don’t realize how little respect or value these people have for them. It’s only about the clicks and (relatively) free money. 

1 hour ago, Salacious Kitty said:

They're all doing them, so it's easy to confuse them. Carlin and Katie have recently done them, maybe Josie as well?

So many sheep 🐑. Baaaaah!

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

Didn't they already do a video on assumptions?

I could've sworn she did one as well. I remember rolling my eyes when one of the assumptions (that Alyssa clearly cherry-picked from the list) was that she had a perfect life. 🙄

[floridamom]

If I remember correctly, Alyssa had addressed an assumption about her that she was stuck up. She explained that being on TV brought her to not trust strangers who approach her, in general, because they just might be wanting something from her and not sincere with her.

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

If I remember correctly, Alyssa had addressed an assumption about her that she was stuck up. She explained that being on TV brought her to not trust strangers who approach her, in general, because they just might be wanting something from her and not sincere with her.

That makes sense. Strangers probably did do that a lot while on TV at the same time it's ironic since her parents' are grifters and did that to other people. 

[JAYJAY1979]

3 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

That makes sense. Strangers probably did do that a lot while on TV at the same time it's ironic since her parents' are grifters and did that to other people. 

It does explain why she wasn't always seen or featured on the show except for visits or occasional scenes of the family in Florida.

I watched some episodes of their brief TLC show United Bates...and she was more reserved pre courtship.

At least on a few of her videos...she isn't heavily made up and is wearing casual clothes.  So I give her props for not making herself looked ultra glamorous for the videos...especially since she has 5 kids ranging from 8ish to infant.  (Unlike pious Erin)

[cereality]

John said the quiet part out loud thru a lot of their assumption video. I'm sure Alyssa gave him the silent treatment later.

Assumption - you all are rich. 

John - well if you think we're rich then you don't have 5 kids. [Uh John we get it, you have way more kids than you want. You're the headship, you're the one who is getting it up and impregnating the Mrs. every other year . . . you know you could prevent that right? What am I saying - need a brother for whatever the boy's name is].

Assumption - you make your daughters take care of Maci.

John - yeah sometimes we do.

Alyssa - PISSED [either at John or at the questioner or both] goes on about how an 8 yr old cannot take care of a 2 yr old, so of course not; so what if they have the other girls put on Maci's shoes or get her a snack or whatever. John then chimes in with - Alyssa and I aren't going to live forever, we really want them to care for each other blah blah.

Assumption - you have a nanny.

John - no but we do have someone that comes - CUT OFF BY ALYSSA . . . 

But then later Alyssa says OMG Allie WANTS to help, she WANTS to learn how to mop, she asked me if she can mop instead of Isabella next time Isabella comes . . . so I'm thinking Isabella is the cleaning lady.

Assumption - you like houseguests.

Alyssa: YES. John - uh certain ones . . . lol; then covers with oh it's easier to have houseguests that are self sufficient, they'll go get themselves water and you're not serving them. Uh yeah John pretty sure you haven't invited the Gil to bring his 27 blessings to come raid your fridge.

Assumption - you don't put your friends on social media.

John - not our REAL friends. Lol - hear that Tikky and the randos who come set up bday parties, cheese and cracker parties on the patio and whatever else - you aren't real friends, we're using you.

Assumption - you've never lived paycheck to paycheck.

John: we did our first yr of marriage.

Alyssa spills the tea - it wasn't just the first year, it was the first 3-4 yrs, I'm SOOO glad not to have to do that now. John looks PISSED - as his manhood was just questioned as Alyssa announced he didn't make enough $; but then John covers with it was hard but we did it well, we could go back to it . . . lol no your wife could not.

[Salacious Kitty]

John is such a dick. And he apparently did nothing to change my mind in this video. 

[BitterApple]

Wow, Alyssa and John. Tell us you hate your kids without telling us you hate your kids....

First let me say, I have zero judgment towards Alyssa for hiring household help, but it's funny she's so obsessed with her SuperMom facade she got downright pissed when John admitted it. 

Speaking of pissed, yeah Alyssa, nobody believes you when you say Allie isn't forced to Sister-Mom. The fact that she got so triggered proves there's some truth there. And Allie wants to mop? Of course she does because she knows doing Mommy's shit work (or should I say Isabella's shit work?) is the only way she'll get a sliver of positive attention. 

Alyssa definitely got back at John though when she said they struggled financially for 3-4 years, as opposed to John's claim it was only one. You could practically hear his dick shrinking through the screen. 

With regards to John wanting "low maintenance" houseguests who get their own water and help themselves to the fridge, does it ever occur to him some people may not feel comfortable taking things without permission? He doesn't quite get the concept of hospitality, does he? 

Alyssa ignores the kids on the drives to church. John does nothing to help around the house. Alyssa saying she kills herself to lose baby weight as quickly as possible. It's one thing to keep it real, it's quite another to unwittingly let us know you're both a toxic mess. 

Edited July 1, 2023 by BitterApple

[cereality]

Honestly they don’t even seem they like each other, though I guess Alyssa has previously said she LOVES sex, so I guess John provides that + pays the mortgage. But then so could anyone with a dick + a job. And apparently his job doesn’t even pay well - lol.

They were totally a set up marriage, back when Gil was pushing the oldest 3 girls to fundie royalty. I mean a congressman’s son - haha that’s even better than JB Duggar who only got to state politics. Never mind that they aren’t suited for each other AT ALL. And John was getting older and had never even had a gf despite girls being interested, I’m sure Taliban Dan was needing him to take a wife, lest the gay rumors started.

But they spoke in a prior video basically saying Alyssa was a bitch to him in courting, totally emotionless, broke it off more than once, and John apparently being low self esteem kept chasing her and groveling - bc he had been taught a guy has to work hard to get a girl?! And they also admitted that then they fought like cats and dogs in yr 1.

And in this video they say the roles are now reversed, previously emotional John is now like whatever, while Alyssa is always like awwww and trying to get attention?! Sounds to me like a broken man, living out his Christian duty of paying the bills and making babies for Jesus’ army, who could give two shits about wife/kids/any of it. Pretty sad at age 34.

Interesting that Alyssa 100% admitted she doesn’t cook and they live on take out. I mean we could’ve guessed given the # of cracker and cheese meals we’ve seen the kids eat. Though folks if money is tight - maybe cook?! But let me guess Allie will next be BEGGING to learn how to cook . . . .

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

Wow, Alyssa and John. Tell us you hate your kids without telling us you hate your kids....

First let me say, I have zero judgment towards Alyssa for hiring household help, but it's funny she's so obsessed with her SuperMom facade she got downright pissed when John admitted it. 

Speaking of pissed, yeah Alyssa, nobody believes you when you say Allie isn't forced to Sister-Mom. The fact that she got so triggered proves there's some truth there. And Allie wants to mop? Of course she does because she knows doing Mommy's shit work (or should I say Isabella's shit work?) is the only way she'll get a sliver of positive attention. 

Alyssa definitely got back at John though when she said they struggled financially for 3-4 years, as opposed to John's claim it was only one. You could practically hear his dick shrinking through the screen. 

With regards to John wanting "low maintenance" houseguests who get their own water and help themselves to the fridge, does it ever occur to him some people may not feel comfortable taking things without permission? He doesn't quite get the concept of hospitality, does he? 

Alyssa ignores the kids on the drives to church. John does nothing to help around the house. Alyssa saying she kills herself to lose baby weight as quickly as possible. It's one thing to keep it real, it's quite another to unwittingly let us know you're both a toxic mess. 

And what did they do while they were struggling financially? That's right, they kept having more kids! Real genius at work there in Clermont. 

 

[Heathen]

So Alyssa doesn't cook or clean or take her kids to extracurriculars. Does she actually homeschool, or is it "homeschool" like most fundies do? What does she do all day besides bitch? 

[zenme]

People like Kelly and Michelle Duggar work there kids off way too hard that they are ready to retire before their actual kids are born! 

[floridamom]

Alyssa, maybe if you cooked and cleaned your own house; you would not have been living paycheck to paycheck. How about have a less maintenance hair color; which does not suit you anyway; brew your own coffee at home? I am quite certain that her children sit themselves in front of their computers without any human, in person instruction too. I really can't imagine what that woman does all day long. John, introduce yourself to a condom. I'm glad, however, that they got to each question without too much fooling around and laughing. 

[lookeyloo]

9 hours ago, Heathen said:

So Alyssa doesn't cook or clean or take her kids to extracurriculars. Does she actually homeschool, or is it "homeschool" like most fundies do? What does she do all day besides bitch? 

My guess is fuss with her hair and makeup and scroll on her phone

[GeeGolly]

So how did this increase in income come about? They struggled when Alyssa was contributing as a commercial cleaner and shiller, but now that they're back to one income they're doing better?

That must be one hefty raise for John.

[Salacious Kitty]

58 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

So how did this increase in income come about? They struggled when Alyssa was contributing as a commercial cleaner and shiller, but now that they're back to one income they're doing better?

That must be one hefty raise for John.

Pretty sure that John's father gave the business to the sons, so John earns more than his worker's salary now. 

[floridamom]

So, Alyssa was trying to hide the fact that she has someone come in named Isabella who cleans her house for her. So much for answering honestly. Why does a stay at home wife/mother need a housekeeper? That is the role of a stay at home homemaker. I believe that she is not organized and she is lazy.

[BitterApple]

4 hours ago, floridamom said:

So, Alyssa was trying to hide the fact that she has someone come in named Isabella who cleans her house for her. So much for answering honestly. Why does a stay at home wife/mother need a housekeeper? That is the role of a stay at home homemaker. I believe that she is not organized and she is lazy.

Alyssa got mad because her entire social media narrative is that of the endlessly busy, godly wife and mother who does it all and manages to look flawlessly put together. Perfect house, perfectly coordinated kids, perfect hair and makeup. Owning up to the fact that she has hired help puts a dent in that myth and also takes away some of the envy she clearly wants her followers to feel. Just look at her comments. It's all fawning drivel, "I wish I could be so skinny after having a baby!," "How do you do it?! I only have one kid and my house never looks as clean as yours.!" If fans know the truth, they won't put her on such high of a pedestal. 

[ranchgirl]

I didn't watch the video but it doesn't surprise me that the Webster's have someone come in a clean their house.  Alyssa never shows herself cleaning anymore like she did in the past.  Been there, done that, I suppose.  

 

[lookeyloo]

As far as her fans saying her house is "always" clean, well, even without help, it is possible she gets it that way for the video and then things go back to normal, or she is shrilling at those girls to love cleaning.

[Meow Mix]

I haven't watched the video, but just reading the summaries here, I am amazed these two let this video see the light of day.  They really come across as mean selfish and unpleasant.  Saying that they don't feature their real friends on social media and they only like low maintenance house guests would not make me want to get to know them better.  And sorry Alyssa, no one is buying that Allie loves doing crappy housework.  It sounds like they are unpleasant people stuck in a miserable marriage and passing on that misery to their kids.  

In a way I hope people can see the truth that appears to be coming out in this video.  I was very sad to read a thread on Reddit where a mom of a newborn was dealing with post partum issues and felt even more inferior after seeing the fake lives Alyssa and other Bateses put on social media.  Many people chimed in that what she was seeing was not real.

[SMama]

Did Alyssa drive to SC with five kids? It doesn’t seem like something she’d do, but I have not seen John on any videos or pictures. Maybe K&G flew a sister down to help. 
 

So Jackson and the Paines are the only ones missing from the festivities. 

[BitterApple]

 

10 minutes ago, SMama said:

Did Alyssa drive to SC with five kids? It doesn’t seem like something she’d do, but I have not seen John on any videos or pictures. Maybe K&G flew a sister down to help. 

 John wasn't in the family shot Alyssa posted to Instagram, so I'm guessing he stayed in FL. I would assume Addie or Ellie flew down to help her make the drive. A long road trip with five kids would be a lot for a normal mom to manage, let alone one who endlessly complains. 

[SMama]

16 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

 

 John wasn't in the family shot Alyssa posted to Instagram, so I'm guessing he stayed in FL. I would assume Addie or Ellie flew down to help her make the drive. A long road trip with five kids would be a lot for a normal mom to manage, let alone one who endlessly complains. 

And now Ellie is driving with K&T to NJ. Those girls are always on nanny duty.

[GeeGolly]

Rhett is Allie's mini me. Little Maci looks miserable in every single picture. I'm guessing Rhett has been hard for her to adjust too. Also maybe a little regression? I've never noticed Maci using a pacifier before - ever.

[SMama]

8 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Rhett is Allie's mini me. Little Maci looks miserable in every single picture. I'm guessing Rhett has been hard for her to adjust too. Also maybe a little regression? I've never noticed Maci using a pacifier before - ever.

Maci has been using a pacifier for awhile now, maybe even before Alyssa was pregnant. 

[BetyBee]

11 hours ago, SMama said:

And now Ellie is driving with K&T to NJ. Those girls are always on nanny duty.

I wonder how much the older sisters, who have benefited so much from Addie & Ellie's unpaid assistance, will help Addie & Ellie when they start pumping out babies?