Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch

[Meredith Quill]

Your Alyssa and John Topic!

[Literata]

Alyssa doesn't seem quite as warm as the other girls. And she's very pretty, but she's got something weird going on with her mouth when she talks. Not my fave Bates.

[CarolMK]

It's interesting that Alyssa chose to marry so young (19?) and move to Florida with her husband. Maybe she truly wanted to get away from her family, she loves them but doesn't want to live down the street and spend all of her free time with them. I predict this couple won't be Gothard followers in the future. It will be interesting to see if they decide not to homeshool, homechurch and all the other things that her parents did while she was growing up.

[Bean421]

I would think the fact that her in-laws are fairly high profile would lend to the assumption of them being more mainstream. John seems like a politician-in-training. It will be interesting to see how much they participate in the show.

[Absolom]

Given John's family, they probably attend a somewhat regular church.

[Sew Sumi]

Title suggestion: Lunch with Lurch. Origin: John's height, teeth and overall gangliness led me to think of Lurch. As for the lunch part, well, Alyssa posted IG pics of them going out to lunch after church like clockwork up until around Thanksgiving (now we know about the time they sprung the pregnancy news on the family). It was pretty obvious that Alyssa wanted to show the family that she wasn't straying, yadda, yadda, yadda. 

 

There were enough of these Lunch with Lurch posts to learn that her favorite place is the Cheesecake Factory. So much for being adventuresome. 

[trimthatfat]

It's interesting that Alyssa chose to marry so young (19?) and move to Florida with her husband. Maybe she truly wanted to get away from her family, she loves them but doesn't want to live down the street and spend all of her free time with them. I predict this couple won't be Gothard followers in the future. It will be interesting to see if they decide not to homeshool, homechurch and all the other things that her parents did while she was growing up.

I think Alyssa is genuinely happy to have some distance between herself and her family.

 

John comes off stiff and uncomfortable in the pictures Alyssa posts on her Instagram. I can't tell much of anything about his personality.

[CarolMK]

Was it really Thanksgiving when Alyssa told her family? I'm not sure about the editing, but Whitney had the baby on October 29, so the shower must have taken place sometime before that. I thought that Alyssa was due in April. Also, didn't they mention that this was the first time Alyssa was coming back to see them all since her wedding in late May? I'm thinking it all must have happened sometime in October. The fact that Alyssa told her inlaws before she told her own family makes me wonder if she relates to her inlaws and feels closer to them than she does her own family. 

[Absolom]

I think she wanted to tell her family in person so she could see their reactions and it may also have become a plot point for the TV show.  It's harder to hide a pregnancy from people who see you every week or more often.

[cereality]

Alyssa seems so "formal" when she speaks -- at least in the interview sessions; she wasn't as formal when she was interacting with the little kids and they were saying "you're not pregnant." John also seems super uncomfortable around that massive family. It's not shocking -- he hasn't spent much time with them; I imagine a lot of the long distance courting was by Skype and then when he came to Tn. he was probably taking her out maybe with a few chaperones and not necessarily spending tons of time sitting at home. It seemed like he had no idea what to do when the family was surrounding them during the pregnancy announcement and when the little kids were climbing all over him. The only part they seemed comfortable with was when they were posing for pics -- they seem into the selfie thing and looked like they are used to posing.

 

I got the distinct sense that Alyssa is just fine being away from the family. I'm sure she misses them, but she also doesn't seem like she's so "miserable" about not being there for every family dinner. I thought Carlin/Tori were pretty honest throughout the show and they said -- Chad is like a brother now and Whitney is like another sister and John and Alyssa are too far away. I don't think John has really incorporated into the family like Chad has, and I think John and Alyssa seem fine with that.

 

She told friends about her pregnancy before her family -- according to Carlin/Tory -- and of course her inlaws knew (though it's probably hard to hide it from people you see all the time). Being with John being a senator's son, I think they'll be more mainstream about certain things even if they believe in their fundie ways; I feel like they'll send their kids to school -- regular or Christian -- and may have a large family but not a mega family.

[Sew Sumi]

Per Alyssa's Instagram, she, John, and SIL Tori Webster were crawling around DC today. It just so happened that today was the rollcall vote for Speaker of the House, and none other than Daniel Webster, R-FL, was one of the Tea Party candidates attempting to unseat Boehner. Didn't work, but quite interesting that Webster brought up the family from FL to ostensibly witness the process. 

 

With this in mind, it's doubtful that the Young Websters are going to fall very far from the IBLP/ATI tree, especially as long as John works for the family HVAC business. SIL Tori still has a lot of close ties to Gothardland, so it bodes ill that of all of John's family members, Alyssa seems to have become closest to her.

[Micks Picks]

They must have then experienced that Webster lost his seat on the Rules Committee in retaliation for his non-support of the Speaker.  I take it that in some areas of the country The Tea Party includes the anti-abortion crowd.  Funny, that's not ever mentioned where I am.  It's considered a done deal that style of life and abortion rights are a done deal.  Around here the Tea Party signifies smaller government and trends towards independence.  

 

So what lesson did she take away from the day?  

[Sew Sumi]

Good question. But someone did some digging on the Congressman's public Facebook page and found pictures of him and his family, ostensibly during a holiday parade at the beginning of December. Alyssa can be seen in the bed of the truck WEARING JEANS! I wish I knew how to link the .jpg image here (I know the rules are funny, and I don't feel like uploading to a third party site). 

 

But yeah. Jeans. This is HUGE! 

 

eta: I just read that Congressman Webster got thrown off the Rules Committee due to his failed coup against the Speaker. I don't see him lasting past this term (his 3rd) in DC. 

Edited January 7, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Rebekah]

The one on her instagram? I don't think they are her legs, I believe their Johns because you can see the people on either sides and they're both taller. I think she's just so small that you can't see them

[SugarHigh]

@Rebekah It's on the Congressman's Facebook. In one picture it's hard to tell, but in another picture you can see her whole body and she's definitely wearing boots with jeans. It made me smile because to me it's a good sign that the kids really will be able to make whatever choices they are comfortable with once they leave home (although I assume being in Florida makes it easier for her to branch out a little). 

[CarolMK]

Out of curiosity I did some reading up on the Daniel Webster family. Apparently they did homeschool all 6 of their kids using the Gothard basic life principles books. Blech. Hopefully John and Alyssa won't do the same. Considering how young she was when she married him, it seems her main motivation was to get out of her house . What exactly does John do anyway...is he some kind of politician too?

[Sew Sumi]

John works at the family's HVAC business. He and Alyssa supposedly have a small custodial business, but I doubt Our Alyssa has done much work, what with her first trimester illness and the ennui she admitted to during the second episode. 

 

Alyssa is closest to John's younger sister (baby of the family, not sure of her exact age), Tori. Tori has been photographed at many Gothard-centric events; she's definitely steeped in that Kook-Aid. 

[Sew Sumi]

Alyssa announces gender and name of baby on social media and makes sure to hashtag the baby registry info. 

 

For those who don't want to look, it's a girl, Allie Jane. 

 

http://instagram.com/p/x7fzWmJAoz/?modal=true

[trimthatfat]

Alyssa posted a pic from a maternity shoot on her Instagram and linked to the photographer, so I checked the link. The photographer uploaded a different pic from the shoot and *gasp*, Alyssa is wearing some trendy jeans. Haha.

 

http://instagram.com/p/x92B4aNsvE/?modal=true

[BitterApple]

Alyssa is a really cute pregnant girl.

 

I think Allie is cute as a nickname, but I usually prefer a more formal first name. I think Alexandra or Allison shortened to Allie would have been much better. However, compared to the absolutely dreadful names I've seen for babies lately, it's pretty tame.

[gunderda]

It's very interesting that she would chose to wear jeans for the maternity shoot - not because of their family but because don't pregnant tend to wear skirts or even leggings for those? Jeans seem like the least comfortable lol

 

but yay for jeans!

[Absolom]

Maternity jeans are a big thing.  If she's only recently been able to wear jeans, then she might really want to have maternity jeans.

[zenme]

I think Allie is cute as a nickname, but I usually prefer a more formal first name. I think Alexandra or Allison shortened to Allie would have been much better. However, compared to the absolutely dreadful names I've seen for babies lately, it's pretty tame.

 

I agree, BitterApple.  I'm wondering if they are using Allie Jane as a variation of Alyssa and John. 

[maraleia]

I just love the fact that Alyssa is in jeans. She looks so relaxed and happy.

[JessDVD]

Jeans?! It's like you can't even count on sorta weird but we'll roll with it uber-conservatism anymore!

 

I don't really care for Allie just in this case because it's so similar to Alyssa, but with Allie Jane, it does sound like they're trying to combine Alyssa and John and I like "Allie Jane" and would call her that.

 

I love a good pair of maternity jeans (at least when actually pregnant, which I am right now), and if I'd had to wear skirts for my previous 19 years and didn't really want to be, I'd be all over any pair of jeans.

[Sew Sumi]

Jane is for Kelly's mom. 

 

I bet those aren't even maternity jeans. She's barely showing and carrying high. 

[bk10]

I spent the first 14-15 years in my life unable to wear pants because my parents were strict, religious, and old fashioned. Luckily I was the baby of the family and was able to "rebel" in high school without much consequences and started wearing pants. I never looked back. I never wore skirts outside of church because  grew to hate skirts. I recently (almost 10 years later) started getting comfortable buying skirts and dresses that my parents would approve of again. I completely understand Alyssa.

 

sidenote- Sometime late last year, I heard my mother talking on the phone about how she saw nothing wrong with women wearing pants. I had to laugh. She, along with one of sisters still don't wear pants, but my rebellion led to her acceptance as well as my other two sisters including pants in their wardrobes. I would love to see what the women in that family look like in 10 years and what choices they make.

[cereality]

Am I the only one who thinks John-Alyssa together don't look right? They're both fine looking -- he has a nice smile/face, but he looks awkwardly huge -- esp next to a girl like Alyssa who is so petite. I don't usually think tall guys with short girls looks bad, but there's something about him with her that just doesn't look right together. Though they've gotten the selfie thing down pat. Even at the Bates' home during the pregnancy announcement when he looked totally uncomfortable around the huge family, someone asked for a pic and he got into the stand behind her w - arm across her body and flash the grin selfie pose - in 2 seconds flat.

[andromeda331]

I think Allie Jane is a cute name.

Edited January 31, 2015 by andromeda331

[KarmaG]

Am I the only one who thinks John-Alyssa together don't look right? 

 

I think they make a great looking couple together.

[Almost 3000]

Jeans and no sleeves...

[trimthatfat]

I think John and Alyssa are adorable! I do think he often looks uncomfortable on camera, but it could just be because he's not used to the limelight in this way.

[Sew Sumi]

Am I the only one who thinks John-Alyssa together don't look right? They're both fine looking -- he has a nice smile/face, but he looks awkwardly huge -- esp next to a girl like Alyssa who is so petite. I don't usually think tall guys with short girls looks bad, but there's something about him with her that just doesn't look right together. Though they've gotten the selfie thing down pat. Even at the Bates' home during the pregnancy announcement when he looked totally uncomfortable around the huge family, someone asked for a pic and he got into the stand behind her w - arm across her body and flash the grin selfie pose - in 2 seconds flat.

That was pretty much where "Lurch" came from. He has to slouch over so much to "fit" her, even when she's in heels. Being 5' myself, and only dating guys well over 6' until I married a short guy, I have plenty of pics in my past that look like theirs! 

 

A Church with Lurch pic from yesterday raised quite a stir on Alyssa's Instagram. She wore a sleeveless dress (with knees showing) to church, and people gave her crap for it. She actually posted a response that hopefully shut down all the holier-than-thou idiots who commented condemning her wardrobe choice. smh

 

eta: I went back to a known link for the picture to post it here, since I don't have IG fired up on the work laptop. It looks like she deleted it. I am saddened that she felt compelled to cave in to the pressure from a few uber fundie idiots. :/

Edited February 2, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[cereality]

What was her response, if anyone remembers generally?

 

I wonder if she got some pressure from her family? I mean why fold to fundie pressure generally at this point? She's married and pregnant, so if John has no problem with her wearing a regular dress with shoulders and knees showing -- why does it matter what the other fundies think. I mean it's not like she has to worry about her reputation on the fundie courting market anymore.

[Gweilo]

It's still up (can't see her response because it's only showing the last few coments):   

http://instagram.com/p/ykSRXmpAs_/?modal=true

 

How horrible that she's getting internet bullied by 'Christians'.  Where is this alternative reality bible that fundies follow?  Because if it contains Jesus giving out halter dress suggestions, he might also have some really good advice for helping me reorganise my spare room.

Edited February 3, 2015 by Gweilo

[Sew Sumi]

eta: I found a screenshot of her post. I can't replicate that, but I'll copy the text. Grammar errors are hers.: 

 

"I know that some things I do may not please everyone and I am sorry. Me and my husband have decided rules for "our" family and it's what we feel is best. I hope the few of you [putting that mildly] who disagree with our decisions will respect the fact that they our "our" choices and not mandated for anyone else. I hope that I haven't offend any of you. A huge thank you to each one of you who rallied around me. You are all very kind. Sincerely, Alyssa Webster"

 

Killing the flies with honey rather than vinegar. LOL Given that she's posted the pregnancy photshoots, both of which show her clearly wearing jeans, I think she's made their choices abundantly clear and that they have nothing to do with her parents. 

 

The hardcore fundies whose responses I saw need to back off the kook-aid (not a typo).

 

Glad she didn't delete her post. Stand your ground, Alyssa! 

Edited February 3, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[trimthatfat]

Alyssa is 19 and this is the first time she's gotten the chance to dress the way she wants. She is well within her rights to wear sleeveless tops and fun jeans. People are so ridiculous. Of course she doesn't feel like wearing ankle length skirts and layered tops if she can help it.

[gunderda]

That was pretty much where "Lurch" came from. He has to slouch over so much to "fit" her, even when she's in heels. Being 5' myself, and only dating guys well over 6' until I married a short guy, I have plenty of pics in my past that look like theirs! 

 

 

I dated a guy in high school who was 6'4 and I'm 5'1 and he would slouch when he was around me. It drove me CRAZYYYYYYYYYY. 

[BitterApple]

I thought Alyssa's dress was really cute, it's not like she had her boobs hanging out or anything. Other than her bad grammar, I thought her response was very well stated.

[RedBaron]

I'm glad Alyssa didn't succumb to pressure and has decided wearing pants and sleeveless tops/dresses does not make her evil.  However, all I kept thinking when I read her response with the atrocious grammar was, "And she is going to home school her kids ..."   Sigh.

[Micks Picks]

I'm glad I'm not the only short one here who dated tall men.  Awkward to kiss, though.  I ended up with a 5'10" guy and it felt right.  I always hope I don't get hunchback.

 

Aw come on, her grammar wasn't that bad.  I think sometimes it's typing (missing a word or autocorrect or something) and you don't notice it before you hit SEND.  

[ChicksDigScars]

I said this over in the Duggar forums in the JillyDilly thread, but pregnant Alyssa getting heat on her Instagram from her fellow Fundies for wearing maternity wear that is 1) adorable, 2) trendy, and 3) sleeveless and knee bearing is ridiculous.  She looks great and very stylish. And the one pic in JEANS? (GASP!)  Compare this to Jill, who still dresses in awful, faded, dowdy jean skirts that practically come to her ankles, and tops the look with shapeless maternity blouses that look like they were handed down by Michelle. I wish that Jill would break from the "modesty" code that her psychotic mother rammed down her throat and realize that she's now free from them. Dress like a 23 year old, not like your mother. Modesty doesn't have to equal ugly. Kelly even defended Alyssa's cute wardrobe choices on Instagram.

 

I'm, 5'2", my ex was 6'4" and our son is 5'11". I figured it was the only way to have a child that was normal height (I come from a long line of short Italians).  I actually dated someone 6'5" once. Slow dancing was usually avoided.,

Edited February 5, 2015 by ChicksDigScars

[KarmaG]

I'm glad I'm not the only short one here who dated tall men.  Awkward to kiss, though.  I ended up with a 5'10" guy and it felt right.  I always hope I don't get hunchback.

 

Aw come on, her grammar wasn't that bad.  I think sometimes it's typing (missing a word or autocorrect or something) and you don't notice it before you hit SEND.  

 

I'm glad my short mother, 5'1, dated and married a 6'1 guy so I could be 5'9. I then married a 5'6 guy and had a 5'9 son, 5'11 son and 5'11 daughter (who modeled before joining the navy). And then I got smart and married a 6'1 guy :D

Edited February 6, 2015 by KarmaG

[allonsyalice]

haha, I'm 5'0 and currently seeing someone close to 6'4. It's nice. (and awkward)

and I posted in the Jilly Dilly thread but briefly, but wow Alyssa. We're just over a month apart (she's november 9th, I'm december 23rd) and I am so jealous over some of her clothes, like that daring red church dress. I just want it so badly. She's so stylish. It is really really nice to see one of those girls dressing her age!

[CarolMK]

I"m glad to see that Alyssa is able to make her own  clothing choices now and defend herself on Instagram or whatever she uses. Finally, a Gothard raised female who doesn't think that it's a sin to wear pants. Hopefully in the future some of her sisters will follow, and hoping that maybe a few of the Duggars girls do, too. 

[LZ1982]

I was glad that Kelly commented supportively on Alyssa's pic.

Edited February 13, 2015 by LZ1982

[Sew Sumi]

New IG post is up. 

 

 http://instagram.com/p/zDxVfFJAgH/?modal=true

 

Two things: 1. The way John has to lean over is exactly why I nicknamed him "Lurch." No malice intended, since as I said before, I am tiny and used to only date guys over 6' (a couple were 6'5"). 2. She is TINY compared to Jill, who is only two weeks further down gestation road. If their hands weren't all over her belly, I wouldn't know she was pregnant! 

 

ETA: Shall we start an Alyssa baby pool? I think her due date is 4/8 or thereabouts. 

 

I'll go with 4/12; 6 lbs. 4 oz.; 19"

Edited February 13, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Micks Picks]

You have to be kidding me!  She's only a couple of weeks less pg than Jill?  OMG.  She is beautiful, and I love the blue dress, and you are right, lurch is a good name.  I also dated some tall guys.  Well they are were all tall, as I am short.

[jb0495]

It's funny- you'd think because Alyssa is so petite that she'd look bigger pregnant, like Jill & vise versa for Jill looking like Alyssa because she is tall.

An example is Hayden Paniettiere, she's very petite & ended up with a huge pregnant belly.

[BitterApple]

I agree Alyssa is winning in the pregnancy fashion department. It's not like she's Duchess Kate and has custom made maternity clothes, yet she still looks stylish and comfortable.