Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[andromeda331]

Happy New Year Everyone! 

[Love2dance]

Oh my, @Scarlett45, I am so glad your mom is home and resting. But I’m especially glad you were able to get a tv working for your sister. Thank goodness for kind friends! Happy new year!

[BetyBee]

@Scarlett45- what a day you had! I'm so sorry the tv broke down at the worst time. But I'm amazed at how smoothly you handled everything. How wonderful to have friends who understand and jump in to help. I'm so happy that your Momma is home and feeling better. God bless the caregivers of the world - you all do miracles! ❤️

[marypat57]

On 12/16/2022 at 11:17 PM, jcbrown said:

So my Christmas challenge is my oven died on Wednesday and I am hosting Christmas next weekend.

Jc:  This reminds me of the Christmas that my mother was ill with the flu or something similar.  My father had passed away in September of that year, so it was also a tough year in that respect.  We were also hosting my mother’s mom.  She was a great mom, but my mother had called her brother in Ohio and asked if my grandmother could visit his family for a few days.  My grandmother did not want to go, so she came to our house.  
Back to the beef.  Before she got sick, mom had purchased a whole beef tenderloin.  Her plan was to roast it and then serve it.   Since she did not even rise from her bed that day, I made an executive decision to cut it into steaks and BBQ it.  My sister’s fiancé dragged the bbq grill from the patio, through the dining room and kitchen and into the attached garage.  We grilled the steaks with the garage door open and they were quite yummy—and yes, we did save one for my mother to eat when she was feeling better.

[CalicoKitty]

More snow expected this afternoon and tonight.  With another big storm next week.  My neighbors shoveled me out yesterday, and now my front yard is covered with snow mounds about 4 feet tall.  I was going to take advantage of the clear weather this morning to go to the UPS store to pick up some packages and mail, but they are not open.  There would not be any parking available, anyway.  Too much show. Then I decided to take down my Christmas tree, but realized the box was over in the storage shed, and there is too much snow to get in.  So I am enjoying my tree for the foreseeable future.  I did call off my house cleaner for tomorrow.  I don't want her driving in this snow and ice, especially with more snow coming.  I heard on the news this morning that about 12,000 homes have been without power since Saturday.  With all the roads closed, hotel reservations were being cancelled.  Now the hotels are filled with locals without power.  They said there have been 775 separate power outage problems due to the extreme amount of snow.  So far, I am good.  But I am hoping that this next storm starting this afternoon is not going to bring too much more snow. Very cold weather, feet of snow.  Not the way I had anticipated the beginning of the new year.

Everyone stay warm and safe.

 

[Salacious Kitty]

Just started raining here again in the last hour, so I suspect this is headed your way later this evening. Looks to be a break tomorrow before the next deluge hits.

[Absolom]

5 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Just started raining here again in the last hour, so I suspect this is headed your way later this evening. Looks to be a break tomorrow before the next deluge hits.

We're supposed to get it later today.  Everything is already soaked, but I think our flooded streets reopened.

[sagittarius sue]

52 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

More snow expected this afternoon and tonight.  With another big storm next week.  My neighbors shoveled me out yesterday, and now my front yard is covered with snow mounds about 4 feet tall.  I was going to take advantage of the clear weather this morning to go to the UPS store to pick up some packages and mail, but they are not open.  There would not be any parking available, anyway.  Too much show. Then I decided to take down my Christmas tree, but realized the box was over in the storage shed, and there is too much snow to get in.  So I am enjoying my tree for the foreseeable future.  I did call off my house cleaner for tomorrow.  I don't want her driving in this snow and ice, especially with more snow coming.  I heard on the news this morning that about 12,000 homes have been without power since Saturday.  With all the roads closed, hotel reservations were being cancelled.  Now the hotels are filled with locals without power.  They said there have been 775 separate power outage problems due to the extreme amount of snow.  So far, I am good.  But I am hoping that this next storm starting this afternoon is not going to bring too much more snow. Very cold weather, feet of snow.  Not the way I had anticipated the beginning of the new year.

Everyone stay warm and safe.

 

Yes, the snowy storm is headed NE with Nebraska and South Dakota getting clobbered.  In MN we'll be hit tomorrow and into Wednesday, but at most 10 inches of snow, and warmer weather could mean some fleezing rain.  I'm staying in and staying warm.  My cleaning woman is scheduled to come on Wednesday so I'll check with her tomorrow to see if she really wants to drive in.

[CalicoKitty]

46 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Just started raining here again in the last hour, so I suspect this is headed your way later this evening. Looks to be a break tomorrow before the next deluge hits.

Snow showers are supposed to start here in a couple of hours, then "sunny" tomorrow afternoon.  High should be mid 30's.  Another storm is coming in Wednesday with snow for a couple of days.  I just received notification that they are delivering my "correct" sofa Wednesday.  I hope they don't unwrap it until they bring it inside.  And I hope it is the right sofa this time.  They are coming from Reno, so I hope the roads are clear, but it will be snowing.

[Scarlett45]

I cross posted this in the pets thread but I know we have a lot of cat lovers here. 
 

So, lately I’ve been tying up the garbage bag at night because the cats have been knocking it over and trying to get inside, and I don’t want them or Cosmo to eat something toxic. Well I just took out the trash, and was throwing away bits and bobs (2022 calendars, an old lunch box) and when I came out of the shower look what I found!

[jcbrown]

21 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I cross posted this in the pets thread but I know we have a lot of cat lovers here. 
 

So, lately I’ve been tying up the garbage bag at night because the cats have been knocking it over and trying to get inside, and I don’t want them or Cosmo to eat something toxic. Well I just took out the trash, and was throwing away bits and bobs (2022 calendars, an old lunch box) and when I came out of the shower look what I found!

"This mine."

What a pretty kitty. My dad's cat (adopted by my sister when we moved him into a facility) was a grey torti, as well.

[Absolom]

Quote

INGREDIENTS: KUNG PAO BEEF (BEEF SIRLOIN, KUNG PAO SAUCE (COCONUT AMINOS (COCONUT SAP, SEA SALT), WATER, CHICKEN BROTH, RICE VINEGAR (WATER, RICE), ERYTHRITOL, MONK FRUIT EXTRACT, GARLIC, SESAME OIL, SESAME SEEDS, GROUND GINGER, XANTHAN GUM), KUNG PAO VEG (ZUCCHINI, RED PEPPER, ONION, SCALLIONS, CASHEWS, CHILI FLAKES)), FRIED RICE (RICE, EGGS, CARROTS, PEAS, SOY SAUCE (WATER, WHEAT, SOYBEAN, SALT, SODIUM BENZOATE (PRESERVATIVE), SCALLIONS, ONION, AVOCADO OIL, GARLIC, SEA SALT, SESAME OIL, BLACK PEPPER), CHOW MEIN CHINESE (CHOW MEIN NOODLE (CHOW MEIN NOODLES), CHOW MEIN VEG (GREEN CABBAGE, CELERY, ONION, AVOCADO OIL), CHOW MEIN SAUCE (BROWN SUGAR, SOY SAUCE (WATER, WHEAT, SOYBEAN, SALT, SODIUM BENZOATE (PRESERVATIVE), GARLIC, GINGER, CANE SUGAR, WATER, BLACK PEPPER)), CHICKEN THIGH, ORANGE SAUCE (BROWN SUGAR, DISTILLED VINEGAR, CORNSTARCH, ORANGE ZEST, ORANGE JUICE, SOY SAUCE (WATER, WHEAT, SOYBEAN, SALT, SODIUM BENZOATE (PRESERVATIVE), RICE VINEGAR (WATER, RICE), GINGER, CANE SUGAR, WATER, GARLIC, AVOCADO OIL, SESAME OIL, RED PEPPER FLAKES), STEAMED VEG (BROCCOLI, BLACK PEPPER, GARLIC POWDER, SEA SALT, ZUCCHINI, CARROTS, GREEN BEANS, GARLIC POWDER, BLACK PEPPER, SEA SALT, BLACK PEPPER, SEA SALT), ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID), SUGAR, WATER, SOYBEAN OIL, VANILLA FLAVOR, SALT, BAKING SODA, WATER, WHEAT, SOYBEANS, SALT, ALCOHOL, VINEGAR, LACTIC ACID, CHILI, SUGAR, SALT, GARLIC, DISTILLED VINEGAR, POTASSIUM SORBATE, SODIUM BISULFITE, XANTHAN GUM

That list of ingredients isn't "clean" by any definition I've seen used.  The easiest one is if it only includes things you'd go to the store and buy yourself to make the item.  Erythritol leaps out at me because it's something I need to avoid.  Anything with xanthan gum and sodium benzoate isn't on my shopping list either.  

This is one of my bugaboos about catch phrases like "clean foods."  Just call it non-processed and it doesn't have the implication that there are "dirty foods."  It makes it a lot easier to go why are there preservatives if they want to call it non-processed?

[Ohiopirate02]

1 minute ago, Absolom said:

That list of ingredients isn't "clean" by any definition I've seen used.  The easiest one is if it only includes things you'd go to the store and buy yourself to make the item.  Erythritol leaps out at me because it's something I need to avoid.  Anything with xanthan gum and sodium benzoate isn't on my shopping list either.  

This is one of my bugaboos about catch phrases like "clean foods."  Just call it non-processed and it doesn't have the implication that there are "dirty foods."  It makes it a lot easier to go why are there preservatives if they want to call it non-processed?

I absolutely loathe the phrase "clean" being used left and right under the assumption that foods or cosmetics which contain preservatives are inherently dirty and therefore bad.  I personally would rather consume products that have some sort of preservative in them than risk getting food poisoning or having to throw away a $50 face cream because it started to grow mold before I could finish it.  I get wanting to avoid certain ingredients because they can cause a reaction or a migraine, but preservatives are our friends.  

[wilsie]

On 1/2/2023 at 6:03 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I cross posted this in the pets thread but I know we have a lot of cat lovers here. 
 

So, lately I’ve been tying up the garbage bag at night because the cats have been knocking it over and trying to get inside, and I don’t want them or Cosmo to eat something toxic. Well I just took out the trash, and was throwing away bits and bobs (2022 calendars, an old lunch box) and when I came out of the shower look what I found!

That's one cute face!  In our home we all have trash cans with lids that close tightly, so it makes it harder for the furry people to get into things.  How is your mom doing?

 I hope she's getting better all the time.

Edited January 4, 2023 by wilsie
spelling

[Scarlett45]

15 minutes ago, wilsie said:

That's one cute face!  In our home we all have trash cans with lids that close tightly so it makes it harder for the furry people to get into to things.  How is your mom dong?  I hope she's getting better all the time.

My garbage can has a swing lid, which hasn’t been a problem before! It seems since November the cats have been extra mischievous. 

 

My mom is doing better thank you. I’m arranging her follow up appointments, and she is eating and drinking water again. She has been be on a renal diet, so she spent the day researching that, she also napped. She gave me quite a fright, usually when she’s had to go to the hospital it’s been scheduled!(besides her bowel obstruction April 2021). 

[wilsie]

14 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

My garbage can has a swing lid, which hasn’t been a problem before! It seems since November the cats have been extra mischievous. 

 

My mom is doing better thank you. I’m arranging her follow up appointments, and she is eating and drinking water again. She has been be on a renal diet, so she spent the day researching that, she also napped. She gave me quite a fright, usually when she’s had to go to the hospital it’s been scheduled!(besides her bowel obstruction April 2021). 

I'm so glad your mom is doing better! And the cats must really feel comfortable with you that they can explore.  Also, how do I edit my post? I left a letter off doing and I'd like to correct it.

[Scarlett45]

24 minutes ago, wilsie said:

I'm so glad your mom is doing better! And the cats must really feel comfortable with you that they can explore.  Also, how do I edit my post? I left a letter off doing and I'd like to correct it.

The cats have been with me a year, it look Lady Reese a while to really warm up to me but this summer she got a lot more friendly. She would interact with me before, but not snuggle or sit on my lap, more "hi, now im going away to do my own thing". Cavendish has been obsessed with me from his first day here. 

I am sending you a PM on how to edit a post.

 

[Absolom]

My daughter uses a trash can much like this one.  It's metal, the top closes by itself, and you open it with the foot pedal.  So far no dog has opened it.  A large enough dog might knock it over, but I can't see any cats getting into it.

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, Absolom said:

My daughter uses a trash can much like this one.  It's metal, the top closes by itself, and you open it with the foot pedal.  So far no dog has opened it.  A large enough dog might knock it over, but I can't see any cats getting into it.

OOOOOOO I was just looking into new trash cans Thank you!

[Notabug]

21 hours ago, Absolom said:

My daughter uses a trash can much like this one.  It's metal, the top closes by itself, and you open it with the foot pedal.  So far no dog has opened it.  A large enough dog might knock it over, but I can't see any cats getting into it.

When I remodeled my kitchen a few years back, I had the carpenter build a cupboard specifically for the trash to keep the pups out of it.  I had tried various step-on cans and they always managed to knock them over and force them open.

I'm just glad they haven't figured out how to get the cupboard door open.

[Absolom]

18 minutes ago, Notabug said:

When I remodeled my kitchen a few years back, I had the carpenter build a cupboard specifically for the trash to keep the pups out of it.  I had tried various step-on cans and they always managed to knock them over and force them open.

I'm just glad they haven't figured out how to get the cupboard door open.

As I said a large dog could knock it over.  She's having trouble with cats so this should stop them effectively.  My daughter refuses to have a dog she can't pick up and carry and so far the trash can wins with the under 25 pound set.

I like the cabinet solution.  I put the trash can on top of the dryer in the adjacent laundry room when mom's dog lived with me.  

[CalicoKitty]

27 minutes ago, Notabug said:

When I remodeled my kitchen a few years back, I had the carpenter build a cupboard specifically for the trash to keep the pups out of it.  I had tried various step-on cans and they always managed to knock them over and force them open.

I'm just glad they haven't figured out how to get the cupboard door open.

One of my cats can open cupboards.  But she is not interested in the trash.  She just likes to sit in cupboards.  The linen closet is her favorite.  She can open it from the inside, too, if she accidentally gets shut in.

[ginger90]

One of my daughters has a cat who can open the sliding door to a closet. I have to use two hands to open it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Absolom]

44 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

One of my cats can open cupboards.  But she is not interested in the trash.  She just likes to sit in cupboards.  The linen closet is her favorite.  She can open it from the inside, too, if she accidentally gets shut in.

I had two of those.  One had a hissy fit when the last child went to college.  Every afternoon I'd come home to the middle shelf of the linen closet empty - the contents were on the hall floor and the cat was sitting on the otherwise empty shelf ready to glare at me and then yowl.  That lasted until the child's first visit home.  

[BetyBee]

43 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I had two of those.  One had a hissy fit when the last child went to college.  Every afternoon I'd come home to the middle shelf of the linen closet empty - the contents were on the hall floor and the cat was sitting on the otherwise empty shelf ready to glare at me and then yowl.  That lasted until the child's first visit home.  

That's a sweet story! 

[Salacious Kitty]

@CalicoKittythe Big 'Un is coming! Stay safe and warm! 😼

[CalicoKitty]

5 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

@CalicoKittythe Big 'Un is coming! Stay safe and warm! 😼

Thanks.  We actually had some sun for a few hours today, but the sky doesn't look good over the mountains now.  There is "supposed" to be a lot of rain tonight, rain and snow tomorrow and the next day.  Saturday and Sunday it is supposed to snow all day and night.  You are right, it does not look good for the next week.  I was able to drive across the street today to get some boxes from the shed.  When I called to see if the UPS Store was open today, I was told they were open, but not to come unless it is an emergency because people have been falling down in the parking lot due to ice and snow.  I'm thinking I may have to change doctor's appointments for next week because of snow.  I understand you are going to get hit with a lot of rain. Stay safe.

[realityfan26]

I can't remember where you're at @CalicoKitty; is it Northern CA? Stay safe!

[CalicoKitty]

23 minutes ago, realityfan26 said:

I can't remember where you're at @CalicoKitty; is it Northern CA? Stay safe!

I'm in the Carson Valley in Nevada.  I moved here from California a couple of years ago.  My brother is in the Central Valley in California, so I keep track of California weather.  We had the worst snow since 1997 last week, with a whole lot more coming.  Since I am so close to the mountains, California weather has a direct effect on the weather here.  If California is getting wind and rain, I know the bad weather will be here soon.  

[Salacious Kitty]

It just started POURING about half an hour ago. I hope the winds aren't as bad as advertised. 

[CalicoKitty]

6 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

It just started POURING about half an hour ago. I hope the winds aren't as bad as advertised. 

Thanks for the heads up.  We are supposed to get rain starting in a couple of hours, and the weather report shows rain/snow all night.  Slight break in the morning, and then rain/snow the rest of the day and all night.

[Girl in a Cardigan]

It poured in SF for about 2 hours and has tapered off, but the winds are no joke. We've got a downed power line in my neighborhood that never has problems like this. Trash bins and fences down all over the place too. If this mess is coming to you, secure everything you can and hunker down.

[Minivanessa]

14 minutes ago, Girl in a Cardigan said:

It poured in SF for about 2 hours and has tapered off, but the winds are no joke. We've got a downed power line in my neighborhood that never has problems like this. Trash bins and fences down all over the place too. If this mess is coming to you, secure everything you can and hunker down.

Yikes! I was watching the Weather Channel about an hour ago. The satellite view of that storm that's moving in from the Pacific made me gulp. That thing is huge! I'm sorry it's bringing such extreme weather conditions to so many areas. After I saw that image on TV, no joking, I called up our local ten day forecast on weather.com to see what planning I'll need to do. Oddly, right here, so far, there's not even serious chances of any precipitation over the next ten days. Still, now that I'm clear to leave the house again without being a public health menace (COVID), I'll be donning my mask and making sure I stay stocked up on groceries and household necessities. Because, just last week we got hit with a surprise snowstorm so I'm not giving those forecasts 100% credibility.

Sending best wishes to all of you being slammed by these big storms, including @Girl in a Cardigan @Salacious Kitty and @CalicoKitty!

Edited January 5, 2023 by Jeeves

[jcbrown]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

One of my daughters has a cat who can open the sliding door to a closet. I have to use two hands to open it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

When we re-did our bedroom, I asked the carpenter to work with me on a system to keep the cats out of my closet (which has three sliding doors). He installed magnets on the doors and the walls. Pixie arched an eyebrow and said, "seriously?" and pulled the doors open to sleep on a pajama shelf. I have ended up using four expandable shower rods to keep her from opening the doors and making herself nests. It's a PITA for me to open the closet but there is no cat in it!

And yeah, we had a kitchen trash can from SimpleHuman like the one @Absolomposted above and always liked it. When re re-did our kitchen, they lengthened the counter to include a space to hide trash and installed a servo motor so you just tap the front of the cabinet with your knee and the trash presents itself. Our designer could never get it to work, which vexed her. I've never had trouble. 

[CalicoKitty]

13 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

When we re-did our bedroom, I asked the carpenter to work with me on a system to keep the cats out of my closet (which has three sliding doors). He installed magnets on the doors and the walls. Pixie arched an eyebrow and said, "seriously?" and pulled the doors open to sleep on a pajama shelf. I have ended up using four expandable shower rods to keep her from opening the doors and making herself nests. It's a PITA for me to open the closet but there is no cat in it!

And yeah, we had a kitchen trash can from SimpleHuman like the one @Absolomposted above and always liked it. When re re-did our kitchen, they lengthened the counter to include a space to hide trash and installed a servo motor so you just tap the front of the cabinet with your knee and the trash presents itself. Our designer could never get it to work, which vexed her. I've never had trouble. 

I leaned out of necessity that they make a sliding door "lock", and one for bifold doors.  Check Amazon.  The one for bifold doors works very well.  Cabinet cat was also a whiz at bifold doors.

[BetyBee]

We got a dusting of snow in northern Illinois last night. This morning I'm going to breakfast with my friend who just recovered from Covid. It will be nice to catch up. I haven't seen her since the week before Christmas. 

Please send healing vibes for my sister's doggo. He suddenly started smelling terrible (like vomit, she said) and that usually points to a skin issue. He'll be seen today so hopefully they'll find out what can be done. I think he's about 10, a sweet lab. They acquired him in a sad story when he was about two. Her hubby was hunting with the dog's previous owner, when that guy (in his 50s) suddenly dropped dead of cardiac arrest. My poor bil had to fish out his friend's cell phone and call for help and try to perform cpr in the middle of nowhere until help arrived. The dog is the sweetest thing who has brought them so much joy. He's a healthy pup normally, but he does show signs of aging, like arthritis. 

I hope all small talkers stay safe from bad weather and have a beautiful Thursday!

[oliviabenson]

It’s going to be 58 degrees and still 0 snow. It drizzled for a few days but that’s it. 
 

 

[oliviabenson]

I do worry if the Rodrigues kids get fed. With how expensive everything is I hope they eat at least 2 snacks a day. 

[Absolom]

Quote

I hate the idea that students must write X amount of words or pages in order to complete the assignment.  A piece of writing should only be as long as it needs to be in order for your story to make sense or for you to justify your argument, and sometimes padding out your argument diminishes its impact.  

Regarding the checking of papers for length, plagiarism, etc., my daughter was teaching at medical schools.  There are quite a few people for whom English is not their first language in those classes.  Requiring them to prepare a document of a certain minimal length was a necessary part of the curriculum.  For English speakers the length required was appropriate to the task.  My daughter is not wordy and would not expect it.  In other circumstances I can agree that in some cases, a set length is unnecessary especially if the topic is pre-determined.  I have been known to be economical in my use of words also.

[CalicoKitty]

The rain and strong wind is starting again.  We actually had some sunshine this afternoon, and I braved out in the hopes of picking up packages at the UPS store.  Nope, could hardly drive in the parking lot.  No way was I getting out the car. But I did get gas, and would have gone to the bank, but a woman decided to pull right in front of me and head down the road the wrong way.  The roads have not been plowed for a while, and there is just so much snow and now slush that I decided to head home.  It started raining on the way, so I was glad to get home safe and sound.  I did get mail at my home mailbox since someone was nice enough to shovel a path to the mailroom door.  But at least I did get out of the house for a few minutes, and there WAS some sun.  Now it is overcast, windy, and raining.  I think more rain tomorrow, and then another big dump of snow is coming beginning Saturday and ending in several days.

Tomorrow is the 6th, so I will take down the Christmas tree.

A while ago I ordered a leather sofa on a special order.   4 months later it finally arrived, but was not the correct one. No motorized recline.   My "correct" one arrived yesterday, after a 2 month wait, but it must have had a hard fall in transit.  It does have the motorized recline, but it is defective.  The back cushions don't match up, and it looks crooked.  The store ordered another one, and I have this one to use for the next 6 to 8 weeks.  I hope number 3 is the charm.  This is getting old.

[Scarlett45]

High point of my week- my Mom was able to climb the stairs to my house today! My sister's caregiver did help her, but she did it! (yes, M is worth her weight in gold, and I told her that her extra work has not gone unnoticed and she will be compensated).

Cosmo and I found a $10 bill on our afternoon walk!

[jcbrown]

21 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I leaned out of necessity that they make a sliding door "lock", and one for bifold doors.  Check Amazon.  The one for bifold doors works very well.  Cabinet cat was also a whiz at bifold doors.

I looked into this before resorting to my Macgyvered spring-loaded shower rod solution but did not see one I thought would work because the closet has three doors side by side. I didn't think I could stop the middle door. Pixie's technique is to stand on her hind legs and use both front paws to just shove the doors open. It's impressive. And annoying.

Good grief, @CalicoKitty, I'm sorry you have yet another chapter in your Sofa Saga.

[BetyBee]

We headed out for a walk today. I almost fell crossing the driveway. The street was a bit better, but still with random icy patches. I decided to go home and finish my walk indoors. I do not want to fall! 

[Mindthinkr]

   My brother gave me his seats to a NHL game Thursday night (he has season tix). I had a blast. Although our team, the Hurricanes, lost, I rooted, made some noise and had so much fun. 
   I’m very excited to celebrate Christmas today with my daughter and grandkids. We have had to postpone due to isolating for Covid and scheduling conflicts. I haven’t seen them since before Thanksgiving. I’m having a banner week. To quote Jill D “Yay”! 
   Gee @CalicoKitty that’s a shame about your couch. I hope the third one is in good shape and arrives without incident. Sorry about the bad weather, but I’m glad you got out a bit. 
  @Scarlett45 Hooray for your Mom getting up the steps and having your favorite care giver back in your lives. I hope it reduces your stress and gives you some extra peace of mind. 
   Have a good weekend everyone 🥰

[BetyBee]

I could use some advice. People are always asking me how my husband is doing, after his sister passed away last month. I never know what to reply. I usually just say something like "He's sad, but he's doing okay". I know people ask out of concern, but I'd like to answer in such a way that isn't too personal. I don't want to describe how he's grieving. Honestly, nothing has changed that much in our lives. They hadn't seen each other in 15 years, but they were friendly towards one another on Facebook. He's supportive of his other sister who we do see, but he's not the type to talk a lot about his feelings. And I'm not the type to discuss his personal feelings with others. I honestly don't know what exactly people want to hear when they ask this question. 

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

I could use some advice. People are always asking me how my husband is doing, after his sister passed away last month. I never know what to reply. I usually just say something like "He's sad, but he's doing okay". I know people ask out of concern, but I'd like to answer in such a way that isn't too personal. I don't want to describe how he's grieving. Honestly, nothing has changed that much in our lives. They hadn't seen each other in 15 years, but they were friendly towards one another on Facebook. He's supportive of his other sister who we do see, but he's not the type to talk a lot about his feelings. And I'm not the type to discuss his personal feelings with others. I honestly don't know what exactly people want to hear when they ask this question. 

I think your usual response is fine and you don't need to look for something else to say.  People are just indicating their concern and don't know a better way.  They are very unlikely to be looking for any detailed information, certainly they don't expect to know his personal feelings.

Edited January 7, 2023 by Suzn

[lookeyloo]

2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I could use some advice. People are always asking me how my husband is doing, after his sister passed away last month. I never know what to reply. I usually just say something like "He's sad, but he's doing okay". I know people ask out of concern, but I'd like to answer in such a way that isn't too personal. I don't want to describe how he's grieving. Honestly, nothing has changed that much in our lives. They hadn't seen each other in 15 years, but they were friendly towards one another on Facebook. He's supportive of his other sister who we do see, but he's not the type to talk a lot about his feelings. And I'm not the type to discuss his personal feelings with others. I honestly don't know what exactly people want to hear when they ask this question. 

I agree with @Suzn.  People just don't know what to say.  I am still experiencing that after the loss of Sweet Son.  I now just say "fine" even though I am not fine but no one really wants to know that.  Or sometimes I say "coping" or "managing".  

[realityfan26]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

I agree with @Suzn.  People just don't know what to say.  I am still experiencing that after the loss of Sweet Son.  I now just say "fine" even though I am not fine but no one really wants to know that.  Or sometimes I say "coping" or "managing".  

If you don't mind me asking; would you prefer people not ask, or just say that they're thinking of you. I don't really like the question of how are you, for the reasons you state. Do you have anything you'd LIKE to hear?

[Notabug]

3 hours ago, Suzn said:

I think your usual response is fine and you don't need to look for something else to say.  People are just indicating their concern and don't know a better way.  They are very unlikely to be looking for any detailed information, certainly they don't expect to know his personal feelings.

I think the question is a lot like asking anyone how they are. The response can be tailored to the situation.  If it is someone close to you and/or someone who might be able to contribute positively to the situation, it's fine to give some details.  Everyone else is asking to be polite, they don't expect or need an up to the minute detailed report.  'He's hanging in there' or 'It's tough, but he'll be ok' is all you need to say.  Even if he's not hanging in there or it's not certain he'll be ok; you don't owe anyone a detailed explanation and most people don't expect one either.  They're saying it to let you know they're thinking of you and to open the door if you want to share.  

Edited January 8, 2023 by Notabug

[Jynnan tonnix]

Quick story about how sometimes you never realize that certain words sound alike until a toddler's input. Anyway, grandson, at 14 months, is not really saying words yet (as opposed to his sister, who was starting to put together sentences at the same age - they are all so different from one another), but he does have a range of gestures and other responses to certain things, like throwing his arms up in the air at the mention of a touchdown when football is being watched or discussed. Daughter and son-in-law were over with the kids today, and I was making stewed chicken. We were talking about it, and son-in-law was blanking out on what the big pot was called that I was cooking in, so I said, "Dutch oven", and Milo immediately raised his hands over his head in triumph!