Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Julia]

This is perfect. We don't have any Waffle Houses in my area of the country but I am somewhat acquainted with them...

 

I grew up in NY and I didn't discover Waffle House until I moved down south for a few years after college. I _love_ Waffle House. I _mourn_ Waffle House. I had to introduce my husband, who's from even further north, to Waffle House on a trip, and now he's hooked. We as a family (my daughter likes it too) mourn that the nearest Waffle House to us is in southern PA.

Granted, I've since stopped eating pork, which severely limits my options w/r/t things which are not beverages, and I don't find the sandwiches and burgers are anything to write home about, but for breakfast (or late-night hangover eating, for whoever is still in that demographic) Waffle House is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

 

Just saying.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Julia

[BitterApple]

Michelle's a legend in her own mind!!! LOL

Michelle reminds me of Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. Her bikini story is like him endlessly making football videos trying to relive his high school glory days.

[Almost 3000]

I grew up in NY and I didn't discover Waffle House until I moved down south for a few years after college. I _love_ Waffle House. I _mourn_ Waffle House. I had to introduce my husband, who's from even further north, to Waffle House on a trip, and now he's hooked. We as a family (my daughter likes it too) mourn that the nearest Waffle House to us is in southern PA.

Granted, I've since stopped eating pork, which severely limits my options w/r/t things which are not beverages, and I don't find the sandwiches and burgers are anything to write home about, but for breakfast (or late-night hangover eating, for whoever is still in that demographic) Waffle House is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

 

Just saying.

Yes, waffles (said in that Homer Simpson donut voice)

[JenCarroll]

Michelle reminds me of Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. Her bikini story is like him endlessly making football videos trying to relive his high school glory days.

I see it as the ultimate humble-brag. Like, "Look how bad I was! I was so bad! I didn't understand how devastatingly irresistible I was, and I was so bad! I was the worst! I ruined an entire family with my hot little bikini body. I was crack cocaine in a bikini! Haha! I was so bad."

[Wellfleet]

I see it as the ultimate humble-brag. Like, "Look how bad I was! I was so bad! I didn't understand how devastatingly irresistible I was, and I was so bad! I was the worst! I ruined an entire family with my hot little bikini body. I was crack cocaine in a bikini! Haha! I was so bad."

 

Exactly! When someone is truthfully ashamed about something they never talk about it, except to mental health professionals or law enforcement. They definitely don't bring it up every chance they get on national TV.

[Jellybeans]

Re: Michelle's bikini story, she re-tells it so often I now wonder if there is more to the story. It's such an insignificant story, really.

[GEML]

Re: Michelle's bikini story, she re-tells it so often I now wonder if there is more to the story. It's such an insignificant story, really.

I'm now wondering if this is their "Nothing to see here folks. Move along." Story. They need SOMETHING to tell, after all. But "look at the birdie!" Michelle offers herself to keep us from looking any deeper. How noble.

[GEML]

Maybe. But here's why I don't think it's that simple - Michelle and Jim Bob do allow their girls to wear far less modest clothing and very heavy make-up as time goes on. If they truly thought it was all a woman's responsibility and fault, they would have clamped down HARDER on the girls in adolescence than when they were little girls. But they didn't. They really let them blossom into very lovely, and for Fundy, stylish young women. That's important. I've known so many families that do the opposite. And there's something positive to be said there for Jim Bob and Michelle as parents - that they did that much for their daughters. Maybe they did it for the show, but they could have stayed Holly Hobby and maybe even more people would have watched because the freak factor would have been higher, I don't know.

[bluebonnet]

Is there any reason to think the girls wouldn't have worn make up without the show?  I've checked out the first few specials they did and Michelle was wearing make up.  It was light make up, but still make up.  I'm not finding anything with a quick google search to indicate whether their stance on make up has changed or not.  But just catching glimpses of the show, it seems like the girls simply started wearing make up at age-appropriate times.  

 

ETA: Actually, I've come across several video clips and interviews where the Duggars explicitly state that their goal is to draw people's eyes from their body to their face (countenance?  such a weird thing to call the face) so make up seems to fit right in with what they've been preaching from the start.  Heavier eye make up, especially.  

 

As far as the clothes, I don't really know.  It appears that the changes came as they began to have more disposable income, thus more ability to buy clothing rather than make one size fits all ensembles.  

Edited May 25, 2015 by bluebonnet

[GEML]

Well, most Fundy victim shaming that I'm familiar with (it's sad that I can type that sentence) tends to go the opposite way than the Duggars did. It makes the girls dowdier and less attractive because, they say, you don't deserve to think of yourself as attractive. See what happens when you try to draw attention to yourself? Bad things.

It's actually fairly common in Fundy worlds to clamp down hard on young women's attractiveness - and heaven knows we commented every time they caked on the make up or wore a capped sleeve shirt. So the Duggars were pretty lenient about that.

So what I'm saying is they probably did some shaming of victims. I'm sure they did. But they certainly could have done at lot more. (Yeah, that's weak tea, but for anyone who has gone without drink of any kind, even weak tea can taste pretty good.)

(You're talking to someone who never pierced even her ears for being drilled about "vain adornment of the body.")

[wanderwoman]

I think Michelle was hyper-aware of her body image and retelling the bikini story is her way of reminding everyone that she had a desirable physique before having kids. We know she had food issues, too. I think she misses her old body.

I completely agree with those who think the "modest modern" approach was solely due to their exposure and income (and freebies). It's likely, too, that the crimper, prairie look was due to all of the girl's being younger than 13 on the first special. They were little girls who idolized the wardrobe in Little House. I don't care who you are- going to New York for the first time and seeing how ridiculously old timey your clothes look has to leave an impact. Before the show, the only people they socialized with were also wearing trumpets, so that was their normal. I've noticed that even the little ones are getting the newest Gymboree clothes. I think they've got a deal with the company.

If Torrid offered Jim Bob free clothes for the girl's, he would take them and make the girls wear something underneath. Lol.

Maisie News:

Ear molds were made and she will have her temporary devices by Friday. We will do the cochlear as soon as we get the all clear from her neonatologist and respiratory. They want her to weigh at least twelve pounds. During testing, they approximated her hearing for us, so we knew what her world sounds like now. It was very unsettling. It reminded me of what you hear when you're trying to talk to someone under water, but fainter. If I had doubts about the cochlear before, they're gone now. We had a last meeting with the anti-cochlear group and I don't think I made friends. They tell you about the failures and the deaf culture and treat you like you're committing an act of genocide by implanting your child. One lady accused us of "not accepting her (Maisie's) deafness". DH walked out because he was angry. Obviously, we will have to use sign language to give her her best chance, but I don't understand the argument that we should accept her disability by celebrating it. If our child was diabetic, we would treat it. How is this different?

Hubby has been working his tail off this weekend. Part of the job. But, that means Maisie, the therapist, and I have been on our own. We went down to the valley to get the mail and get a few pics of Maisie in the meadow. It was her first professional pictures! Hopefully, DH will let me use one as my user pic. Keep fingers crossed. :)

[Wellfleet]

I think Michelle was hyper-aware of her body image and retelling the bikini story is her way of reminding everyone that she had a desirable physique before having kids. We know she had food issues, too. I think she misses her old body.

I completely agree with those who think the "modest modern" approach was solely due to their exposure and income (and freebies). It's likely, too, that the crimper, prairie look was due to all of the girl's being younger than 13 on the first special. They were little girls who idolized the wardrobe in Little House. I don't care who you are- going to New York for the first time and seeing how ridiculously old timey your clothes look has to leave an impact. Before the show, the only people they socialized with were also wearing trumpets, so that was their normal. I've noticed that even the little ones are getting the newest Gymboree clothes. I think they've got a deal with the company.

If Torrid offered Jim Bob free clothes for the girl's, he would take them and make the girls wear something underneath. Lol.

Maisie News:

Ear molds were made and she will have her temporary devices by Friday. We will do the cochlear as soon as we get the all clear from her neonatologist and respiratory. They want her to weigh at least twelve pounds. During testing, they approximated her hearing for us, so we knew what her world sounds like now. It was very unsettling. It reminded me of what you hear when you're trying to talk to someone under water, but fainter. If I had doubts about the cochlear before, they're gone now. We had a last meeting with the anti-cochlear group and I don't think I made friends. They tell you about the failures and the deaf culture and treat you like you're committing an act of genocide by implanting your child. One lady accused us of "not accepting her (Maisie's) deafness". DH walked out because he was angry. Obviously, we will have to use sign language to give her her best chance, but I don't understand the argument that we should accept her disability by celebrating it. If our child was diabetic, we would treat it. How is this different?

Hubby has been working his tail off this weekend. Part of the job. But, that means Maisie, the therapist, and I have been on our own. We went down to the valley to get the mail and get a few pics of Maisie in the meadow. It was her first professional pictures! Hopefully, DH will let me use one as my user pic. Keep fingers crossed. :)

 

These "anti-implant" people are absolutely amazing. Are they deaf? Hearing? A mixture? Doesn't matter I guess. It's just ludicrous to dissuade you from going with the implant. Any caring, sensible, thinking parent would do exactly what you're doing. No one wants his child to be different, or to struggle and face difficulties that they had the power to alleviate. I wonder about the woman who told you that you weren't being "accepting" of Maisie's deafness. If her child lost a leg in an accident, I suppose she wouldn't allow him a prosthesis? It's ridiculous. I bet you will never second-guess yourself on the choices you're making for Maisie. You are broadening her world in immeasurable ways. Anti-Implant Lady is closing doors.

[ChocolateAddict]

Maisie News:

Ear molds were made and she will have her temporary devices by Friday. We will do the cochlear as soon as we get the all clear from her neonatologist and respiratory. They want her to weigh at least twelve pounds. During testing, they approximated her hearing for us, so we knew what her world sounds like now. It was very unsettling. It reminded me of what you hear when you're trying to talk to someone under water, but fainter. If I had doubts about the cochlear before, they're gone now. We had a last meeting with the anti-cochlear group and I don't think I made friends. They tell you about the failures and the deaf culture and treat you like you're committing an act of genocide by implanting your child. One lady accused us of "not accepting her (Maisie's) deafness". DH walked out because he was angry. Obviously, we will have to use sign language to give her her best chance, but I don't understand the argument that we should accept her disability by celebrating it. If our child was diabetic, we would treat it. How is this different?

 

It is wonderful to hear about Maisie! It sounds like things are getting on track for your family which is wonderful. Apologies if this is a stupid question or if you already answered it but is it a hearing aid that she is getting now and a cochlear implant later? 

And I can't understand the mentality of the people you encountered.  I have done volunteer work with kids with autism and I occasionally came across similar parents.  My rational was that of course you love your child and every aspect of them but that doesn't mean that you have to love their autism/deafness/paralysis.  Just my 2c :)

[Absolom]

It is a position that is tough for me to understand.  I always wonder about the comparison of hearing aids or implants to glasses.  I doubt they would deny their children glasses.  

[GeeGolly]

Why is there no outrage toward the news outlets that thought it okay to publish documents about abused minors?

[wanderwoman]

These "anti-implant" people are absolutely amazing. Are they deaf? Hearing? A mixture? Doesn't matter I guess. It's just ludicrous to dissuade you from going with the implant. Any caring, sensible, thinking parent would do exactly what you're doing. No one wants his child to be different, or to struggle and face difficulties that they had the power to alleviate. I wonder about the woman who told you that you weren't being "accepting" of Maisie's deafness. If her child lost a leg in an accident, I suppose she wouldn't allow him a prosthesis? It's ridiculous. I bet you will never second-guess yourself on the choices you're making for Maisie. You are broadening her world in immeasurable ways. Anti-Implant Lady is closing doors.

The anti-cochlear group is almost entirely made up of deaf adults and seniors. There's one young lady in her college years but she was born deaf to deaf parents. She was the most reasonable of the group and frequently tried to help me understand the position they take. Their official position is that "deaf culture" and ASL are the same as "being Jewish and speaking Yiddish fluently" (that's an actual quote they used). Their fear is that cochlear will lead to no one being able or wanting to sign. They also believe that deafness isn't a disability in the sense that you and I might. Ironically, when I asked if they, as a group, would then support the denial of special accommodation status, they said that hearing loss was a disability. If I focus on my compassionate appraisal of their point of view, I think most of the elderly members were sent away to deaf schools and met their spouses at deaf schools or conventions. For them, I think they fear the loss of community. As someone new to the community, I don't have that history to protect. I will obviously teach Maisie about Helen Keller, other prominent people with hearing loss, and we will use ASL because a cochlear doesn't make you hear perfectly. But, I'm not going to keep my daughter deaf to honor their life. They dissuade because they say God makes you deaf and there's nothing wrong with being deaf. It's maddening. I had no idea there would be people against giving someone hearing.

I completely agree with the idea that it seems ludicrous. I think you can be deaf, get a cochlear, and still respect people who don't. I hope Maisie can take what's best from both worlds. To be fair, one of their objections is that the surgery is elected and it can be very painful. They don't see the point of putting a child through the ordeal for an imperfect result. They equate cochlears with circumcision and tell you to wait until the child can decide. I don't want my child to be in pain, either, but waiting until she's old enough to decide means losing precious language acquisition and adjustment time.

I'm sorry I'm going on and on. We came to the conclusion that we accept our child's disability and we also accept that we have access to technology to mitigate that limitation.

Luckily, we don't have to go back to that group again.

[Happyfatchick]

Maisie News:

Ear molds were made and she will have her temporary devices by Friday. We will do the cochlear as soon as we get the all clear from her neonatologist and respiratory. They want her to weigh at least twelve pounds. During testing, they approximated her hearing for us, so we knew what her world sounds like now. It was very unsettling. It reminded me of what you hear when you're trying to talk to someone under water, but fainter. If I had doubts about the cochlear before, they're gone now. We had a last meeting with the anti-cochlear group and I don't think I made friends. They tell you about the failures and the deaf culture and treat you like you're committing an act of genocide by implanting your child. One lady accused us of "not accepting her (Maisie's) deafness". DH walked out because he was angry. Obviously, we will have to use sign language to give her her best chance, but I don't understand the argument that we should accept her disability by celebrating it. If our child was diabetic, we would treat it. How is this different?

I (we!) are always so so excited to get any little bit of Maisie info, thank you for sharing! I remember when I first started reading these threads and came across a Maisie story (I believe it was when they tried to switch hospitals and she had such a horrifying setback). I stayed up all night, literally ALL NIGHT, going to the "I'm pregnant" posts and reading forward. I have this theory that because I read so much about your life and hers, and the trauma and the victories - Maisie is like a family member I haven't been able to meet in person yet. My heart just skips a beat when I see: Maisie update. somehow I missed this; are you learning sign now, or how will you conquer that beast? I'm with you on the implants - I'm not sure I would be able to refuse even the smallest chance of hearing. I'm saddened that you were disappointed on learning what she hears currently. (But at the same time, fascinated the professionals are able to replicate it.)

I miss your more regular posts, but you are doing what you need to be doing. Wonderwoman!

[bluebonnet]

Why is there no outrage toward the news outlets that thought it okay to publish documents about abused minors?

Why would there be?  As far as we know, the documents were obtained legally.  The only upset I feel about it is that the court did a poor job with redaction and news outlets took no further steps to protect the victims.  

Edited May 26, 2015 by bluebonnet

[wanderwoman]

It is wonderful to hear about Maisie! It sounds like things are getting on track for your family which is wonderful. Apologies if this is a stupid question or if you already answered it but is it a hearing aid that she is getting now and a cochlear implant later? 

:)

Precisely. Maisie has some ability to hear certain frequencies. I've misunderstood what deafness is until recently. Most "deaf" people hear some sounds. There are people who are profoundly deaf, but that's not what we are dealing with. Since she was premature and had complications, they want to give her a few more weeks to put on weight and heal her lungs before surgery. The cochlear implant requires general anesthesia. Until then, she will have a hearing aid that, once she's got the implant, she can still use- it's a hybrid system that works well for small children. Unless I'm mistaken, she will use hearing aids and special amplification devices in addition to the cochlear. Jelly can probably explain better than I can since I'm new to the process.

[wanderwoman]

I (we!) are always so so excited to get any little bit of Maisie info, thank you for sharing! I remember when I first started reading these threads and came across a Maisie story (I believe it was when they tried to switch hospitals and she had such a horrifying setback). I stayed up all night, literally ALL NIGHT, going to the "I'm pregnant" posts and reading forward. I have this theory that because I read so much about your life and hers, and the trauma and the victories - Maisie is like a family member I haven't been able to meet in person yet. My heart just skips a beat when I see: Maisie update. somehow I missed this; are you learning sign now, or how will you conquer that beast? I'm with you on the implants - I'm not sure I would be able to refuse even the smallest chance of hearing. I'm saddened that you were disappointed on learning what she hears currently. (But at the same time, fascinated the professionals are able to replicate it.)

I miss your more regular posts, but you are doing what you need to be doing. Wonderwoman!

Aww. Thank you for keeping her in your prayers and thoughts.

Yes! We are learning ASL. I knew some from a class in college and a now passed family member, but we needed an intensive crash course. Signing is important, even if the hearing loss is minimal because, as we understand it, there will be times she will need secondary means of communication. For one, the cochlear isn't good at sounds in the distance and loud noises can cause discomfort. If she can see us, we can still sign. There's also no guarantee her experience will be flawless. Implants have their own problems like any device so sign language is your fall back.

This article says it better than I can. :)

https://www.gallaudet.edu/clerc_center/information_and_resources/cochlear_implant_education_center/resources/clerc_center_articles_and_publications_on_cochlear_implants_/why_include_sign_language.html

[Wellfleet]

The anti-cochlear group is almost entirely made up of deaf adults and seniors. There's one young lady in her college years but she was born deaf to deaf parents. She was the most reasonable of the group and frequently tried to help me understand the position they take. Their official position is that "deaf culture" and ASL are the same as "being Jewish and speaking Yiddish fluently" (that's an actual quote they used). Their fear is that cochlear will lead to no one being able or wanting to sign. They also believe that deafness isn't a disability in the sense that you and I might. Ironically, when I asked if they, as a group, would then support the denial of special accommodation status, they said that hearing loss was a disability. If I focus on my compassionate appraisal of their point of view, I think most of the elderly members were sent away to deaf schools and met their spouses at deaf schools or conventions. For them, I think they fear the loss of community. As someone new to the community, I don't have that history to protect. I will obviously teach Maisie about Helen Keller, other prominent people with hearing loss, and we will use ASL because a cochlear doesn't make you hear perfectly. But, I'm not going to keep my daughter deaf to honor their life. They dissuade because they say God makes you deaf and there's nothing wrong with being deaf. It's maddening. I had no idea there would be people against giving someone hearing.

I completely agree with the idea that it seems ludicrous. I think you can be deaf, get a cochlear, and still respect people who don't. I hope Maisie can take what's best from both worlds. To be fair, one of their objections is that the surgery is elected and it can be very painful. They don't see the point of putting a child through the ordeal for an imperfect result. They equate cochlears with circumcision and tell you to wait until the child can decide. I don't want my child to be in pain, either, but waiting until she's old enough to decide means losing precious language acquisition and adjustment time.

I'm sorry I'm going on and on. We came to the conclusion that we accept our child's disability and we also accept that we have access to technology to mitigate that limitation.

Luckily, we don't have to go back to that group again.

 

A very sensitive and accurate portrayal, I think, of the anti-cochlear faction. Thanks for taking the time to explain it a bit. PS - go on and on all you want, wander. About anything. You write SO very well. I'm one of the many here, I'm sure, who hopes you'll someday do a book or even an article about your journey through the NICU with Little Miss. In your spare time of course...

[JenCarroll]

I was actually moved to re-read everything on the Sweet Fellowship thread today, trying to see whatever hatefulness or prejudice towards TFDW someone is seeing, or any suggestion that Waller is or might be or could be guilty of doing what Josh did. It's just not there. We laugh at his mannerisms because, frankly, he's hilarious, and because he's constantly posting on you tube -- he wants to be watched. A lot of us think he's probably gay, and we feel concern about whether his wife knows and how the marriage will work out. No one has made fun of him for being gay. Most gay men I know do not have the Fabulous Factor, and frankly I know some straight men who get close. It's his mannerisms we mock, and in my opinion we mock them pretty gently. Some of us get a vibe from David that he may have anger management issues. I can't think of anyone who posts here, who would equate an incipient anger management issue with being a child molestor. I've read through the entire thread today and I'm comfortable with the snark balance.

[wanderwoman]

Why is there no outrage toward the news outlets that thought it okay to publish documents about abused minors?

There have been multiple examples of child sexual abuse that the media has publicised: Elizabeth Smart, Jon Benet Ramsay, and the young lady kept for thirteen years in a backyard tent come to mind. The Duggars had no problem with using the media to show and violate. the medical privacy of the minors Josie, Jana, Jill, Anna, Orchestra Pit Duggars (which kid was that), or the elderly J.R. Duggars without consent from the minor or the infirm? All of those examples are examples of the media and production team undermining the rights to privacy...

The media didn't molest the minors and, in truth, didn't name any names of the minors involved- Josh, included. The media reported on a redacted police report that revealed a poorly executed attempt to cover up a crime. If you can film the funeral of a stillborn or the pain of a preemie under the guise of educating the public and shining a light on it, then you can't use the "but, but, they are suffering children" excuse. The Duggars happily signed away their daughters' dignity when they profited and many of us were outraged.

[Micks Picks]

Hi brian so nice to see you back in the prayer closet.  I seen a couple of your posts in the last couple of days, but missed you in the prayer closet.

[kalamac]

I'm one of the LGBTQ people in the forums, and I have to say, I always took the fabulous part not to mean that he's gay (although, yes there are people who wonder about that, and to me it's always read as concern for having to hide his true self if that is the case), but because in a lot of ways he comes across like a theatre kid, all over-the-top and theatrical. And I've known a bunch of theatre kids, very few of whom were gay. They were just always on, like everything had to be a performance.

[Sunnybobs]

Yes I've always read it as like above to. For a snark site this one has always struck me as a very respectful and careful community with a good sense of humour. One of the reasons I find it so fascinating is the total diversity of posters and backgrounds from fundamentalist pasts to religious presents and non believers. Even thoughout this scandal I've seen nearly all careful responses. It's just a nice site :)

[BitterApple]

TFDW has been around since TWOP. I was active on that board and it was a reference to his mannerisms not his sexuality. At the end of the day this is a snark site and the forum is supposed to be fun. Most of us on here have a good sense of humor and there's very little pearl clutching. I know the current scandal is devastating but I hope things don't become too maudlin where even harmless jokes are dissected and labeled offensive.

[Bella]

Stop the bickering.

 

We're very tired, we're talking about things behind the scenes, and we need you all to not make things worse.

 

We know this group knows how to behave well in this forum. So do it.

[amitville]

What a way to start the day Maisie update and our Brain62 is posting again..

[Bella]

Our interim statement on the TFDW discussion:

 

 

if TFDW is called The Fabulous David Waller because he has an outrageous, theatrical personality, the definition should reflect that

 

Okay, so this is the definition. TFDW has an outrageous, theatrical personality. Period.

 

Also, with some snippage:

I always took the fabulous part not to mean that he's gay, but because in a lot of ways he comes across like a theatre kid, all over-the-top and theatrical. And I've known a bunch of theatre kids, very few of whom were gay. They were just always on, like everything had to be a performance.

 

And:

 

TFDW has been around since TWOP. I was active on that board and it was a reference to his mannerisms not his sexuality. At the end of the day this is a snark site and the forum is supposed to be fun. Most of us on here have a good sense of humor and there's very little pearl clutching. I know the current scandal is devastating but I hope things don't become too maudlin where even harmless jokes are dissected and labeled offensive.

 

Finally ...

The mods have been working very hard to keep up, even with the addition of new mods for this forum. We are volunteers here, and we have families, jobs, and lives. We do not cover this forum 24/7 and we are not available to respond quickly at all times. In addition, we are very tired. Please respect that.

[Happyfatchick]

BTW, Wanderwoman (random thought, I am ADD).  I meant to comment the other day that it seems exceptionally noteworthy that Maisie is rolling over at this point.  I remember that the rolling over episodes were such a HUGE milestone for each of my children.  That whole arm flail thing and the startled look that says, "Hey, what just happened to me?" is so FUNNY to watch.  YAY MAISIE!!!  Strength and determination are good things!!!

What does it mean when a poster uses YMVV?  I think that's the abbreviation - I can't cypher it.

[Aethera]

What does it mean when a poster uses YMVV?  I think that's the abbreviation - I can't cypher it.

 

 

It's actually "YMMV" - Your Mileage May Vary :)

[Jellybeans]

Wanderwoman, the deaf genocide thing is a sore point for me. I always tell deaf people "it's a GOOD thing." Eliminating deafness is not a negative, except for those in the field of deafness... i.e., teachers, interpreters, etc.. there will always be deaf people. And I am not a believer in state schools for the deaf. Too many students are sexually abused, and I saw it. Of course trying to report.... it was decidedly odd going to do our laundry while kids were having sex (being molested) in the laundry vans. I have tons of those stories.

Don't underestimate the power of Maisie's implant. Like I said, I know someone who got hers right after birth (old generation CI) and she is fluent in three languages, and enrolled in college to be an international lawyer. Her parents are attorneys. She has never met a signer.

I did not learn sign until I was 12. I cannot say it really helped. Learning to hear/lipread was more helpful. I learned to sign because I went to the deaf school.

Edited May 26, 2015 by Jellybeans

[Jamiesmum]

Thank you so much Wanderwoman for your postings in all the threads. I always pay attention to them and find myself "liking" them on a regular basis, whether I hit the icon or not.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on the interwebs of deaf adults who had their implants turned on and were hearing for the very first time. Their reactions and the absolute joy and happiness on their faces made me very teary. They went from scared, apprehensive and petrified to pure wonderment and delight in a split second. I know that they all,have a lot more work to do and adjustments to go through, but I do not believe that the word"mistake" ever entered their minds. It was not part of the vid, but I do wonder if any of them would exchange this happy time with having had the procedure as a child.

I admire and applaud all that you and your husband are doing with Maisie. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

PS. I can't remember where this video came from or how I came to see it. If anyone else has seen it, perhaps you could proved a link as I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

[Wellfleet]

BTW, Wanderwoman (random thought, I am ADD).  I meant to comment the other day that it seems exceptionally noteworthy that Maisie is rolling over at this point.  I remember that the rolling over episodes were such a HUGE milestone for each of my children.  That whole arm flail thing and the startled look that says, "Hey, what just happened to me?" is so FUNNY to watch.  YAY MAISIE!!!  Strength and determination are good things!!!

What does it mean when a poster uses YMVV?  I think that's the abbreviation - I can't cypher it.

 

 

I was thinking the same thing. I don't have kids, but the babies I've known were all at least six months old, I think, before they rolled over. Or even started to try doing that. That Maisie can do it at what? Four months or so? Truly amazing. Maybe she's compensating for the deafness physically too. She certainly is one tenacious little nipper - a quality that will serve her well.  :>) 

Edited May 26, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Marigold]

I had a professor in grad school who was deaf and he refused to speak or lipread. He only acknowledged ASL.

My first taste of Deaf Culture.

My opinion is that you're doing a great job with your decisions.

I have hearing impaired children on my caseload and they do not have a hearing aid at age 18 months. Who knows why? Many reasons I'm sure...

Interesting for me to see how things are supposed to work. :)

Edited May 26, 2015 by Marigold

[SomePity1066]

Hi, y'all ! I'm fairly new here, though a veteran of TWoP from back in the day, and just wanted to say hello and how much I LOVE this site ! You guys, especially here in the Prayer Closet, are just the nicest bunch of people online ! I've been a poster on CNN, MSNBC, Yahoo, etc, and those people can get downright vicious, but here it seems to be just mostly "Let's agree to disagree..." 

 

Sure, sometimes things get a little heated, but always in a very civil way, and the mods are, of course, so very adept at reigning us in when necessary. Makes me wonder why I was on TWoP so long, with all the getting banned for using too many ellipses... ?!?!

 

I've been following the story of Maisie from Wanderwoman and I'm amazed by your courage and dedication ! I took ASL for two semesters in college and, believe me, if I could do it then YOU certainly can. I still remember some, primarily the I Love Yous and family references. I wish you and Maisie the very best of luck and I will keep you in my prayers, if you don't mind them from someone who's Catholic/PresboLutheran/Jewish ! I got ALL the bases covered !!!

 

Again, I love the sense of camaraderie here, and I'm happy to be part of it ! If anyone ever wants to talk about dogs I'd be an eager participant ! I just have the one for now, the love of my life and total goofball you see as my avatar. He's much more photogenic than me !!! He's a rescue from Berryville, Arkansas, if you can believe that ! Pretty damn close to the Duggars, and I'm hoping he wasn't one of their innumerable cast-offs, those poor, ignored creatures. I'm almost feeling guilty because he has a TempurPedic bed while some of the girls slept (still sleep ?) in Pack-N-Plays. That's just nutso, but I know how to spoil my fur baby !

 

Anyhoo, Happy Tuesday to one and all, and thank you for welcoming me so kindly to this board ! I feel right at home...  :)

[Happyfatchick]

Hi, y'all ! I'm fairly new here, though a veteran of TWoP from back in the day, and just wanted to say hello and how much I LOVE this site ! You guys, especially here in the Prayer Closet, are just the nicest bunch of people online !

You.  Ain't.  Right. 

 

How long (seriously) have you been posting on PTV?  And what happened over at TWoP?  I used to post there a few years ago, and have seen quite a few refugees over here.  What gives?

 

ETA:  I meant you ain't right in the kindest, most warm hearted way.  Love me some Somepity!  (Bless her heart...)

Edited May 26, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[amitville]

Hi, y'all ! I'm fairly new here, though a veteran of TWoP from back in the day, and just wanted to say hello and how much I LOVE this site ! You guys, especially here in the Prayer Closet, are just the nicest bunch of people online ! I've been a poster on CNN, MSNBC, Yahoo, etc, and those people can get downright vicious, but here it seems to be just mostly "Let's agree to disagree..." 

 

Sure, sometimes things get a little heated, but always in a very civil way, and the mods are, of course, so very adept at reigning us in when necessary. Makes me wonder why I was on TWoP so long, with all the getting banned for using too many ellipses... ?!?!

 

I've been following the story of Maisie from Wanderwoman and I'm amazed by your courage and dedication ! I took ASL for two semesters in college and, believe me, if I could do it then YOU certainly can. I still remember some, primarily the I Love Yous and family references. I wish you and Maisie the very best of luck and I will keep you in my prayers, if you don't mind them from someone who's Catholic/PresboLutheran/Jewish ! I got ALL the bases covered !!!

 

Again, I love the sense of camaraderie here, and I'm happy to be part of it ! If anyone ever wants to talk about dogs I'd be an eager participant ! I just have the one for now, the love of my life and total goofball you see as my avatar. He's much more photogenic than me !!! He's a rescue from Berryville, Arkansas, if you can believe that ! Pretty damn close to the Duggars, and I'm hoping he wasn't one of their innumerable cast-offs, those poor, ignored creatures. I'm almost feeling guilty because he has a TempurPedic bed while some of the girls slept (still sleep ?) in Pack-N-Plays. That's just nutso, but I know how to spoil my fur baby !

 

Anyhoo, Happy Tuesday to one and all, and thank you for welcoming me so kindly to this board ! I feel right at home...  :)

I love this post it is a smile break from reading all the Duggar horrors.  Welcome aboard

Edited May 26, 2015 by amitville

[charmed1]

Now I have this picture in my mind. Remember the meeting of all the families from all over the country in Godfather 1? It was held in a very richly decorated room with beautiful arrangements of fruit.

I see a Gothard "meeting" held in a storage room of a Waffle House with flour and grease all over. Big stacks of cold waffles on paper plates for refreshment. Lots of artificial green leaves as decoration.

This is perfect. We don't have any Waffle Houses in my area of the country but I am somewhat acquainted with them. I'm a fan of standup comedian Jim Gaffigan who does a whole bit about them. A sampling:

"Boy, I thought the IHOP was a dump - until I went into Waffle House. It's like a white trash convention in there. Actually makes the IHOP look international!"

"If you've never been to a Waffle House, just imagine a gas station bathroom - that sells waffles..."

"Actually I like Waffle House, and not just because watching someone fry an egg while smoking reminds me of my Dad..."

"I've seen a gun 5 times in my life. Three of those times have been in a Waffle House!"

Mods - if this should be moved to the Prayer Closet, mea culpa - and please do so. I'm just approaching Duggar poisoning right now and thought we desperately needed some comic relief. Many thanks.

There are no Waffle Houses near me either, so I've only been a handful of times during hungry road trips. I'm oddly fascinated by a joint where I can sit six inches from the griddle and the cash register at the same time. And have the same woman take my order, cook my food, and ring me up in one sitting. One time, I went to one in South Carolina I think. Against my better judgement, I asked the waitress if they had turkey bacon. But I whispered my request. So when I said it again, the entire place went silent and she looked at me as if I'd ordered boogers au jus. It was like that old El Paso salsa commercial when all the Cowboys drop their cans of beans and exclaim, "New York City!" Her response was, "Oh honey no. No, no, no."

[SomePity1066]

Amitvillle _ Thank you !!! All that's missing from the welcome wagon is a basket of virtual muffins. You are a sweetheart  :)

 

Happyfatchick - You're correct. I. Ain't Right. But in the best way possible ! I just love to connect with people online who might feel, as I do, that they don't really belong anywhere else. No, not a Sad Sack here, just reaching out in a way that makes me comfortable. 

 

As for TWoP, it closed in April of 2014, leaving me stranded after years and years of snarking. I felt like I was going through withdrawal ! I finally found this site and joined that very day, April 23rd of this year. I see so, so very many names that I recognize as fellow "refugees" from TWoP that I'm actually disappointed that I changed my name, though "SomePity1066" is not so very different from the original "NoPity1066". I was hoping some people would recognize me...

 

Anyhoo, I'm back to the boards - love and peace to all !

[JenCarroll]

Hi, SomePity! 1066, huh? Norman Invasion? Anyway, I'm Jenny and I have two aging rescued mutts. Love to talk about them anytime. They're the only babies left at home now that my girls are both in college (although we do have DD1 and The Boyfriend here for most of the summer this year). I'm in what we like to call the Greater New York Metropolitan Area, and come from a more-or-less Jewish family with a lot of intermarriage (for example, mine).

Anyway, welcome to the Prayer Closet. I've also found a net home here pretty recently and I'm just blown away by the quality of the posters. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

Edited May 26, 2015 by JenCarroll

[birkenstock]

OMG, SomePity! I thought I recognized your name. I was a lurker at TWOP, but I remember your former name and enjoyed reading everyone's posts over there and here so much that eventually started an account of my own. 

 

Wanderwoman, I've been wanting to say how moved I've been by your journey but really couldn't find the right words. I'm so happy that Maisie has made so much progress and that your family is back home and thriving. 

 

Thank you everyone on the 19 kids board for really being you and for giving me a place to flesh out my thoughts. My perspective has changed on Duggar family in various ways this week and over the years. It's been enlightening to hear different voices about them and other subjects as well. 

[GeeGolly]

There have been multiple examples of child sexual abuse that the media has publicised: Elizabeth Smart, Jon Benet Ramsay, and the young lady kept for thirteen years in a backyard tent come to mind. The Duggars had no problem with using the media to show and violate. the medical privacy of the minors Josie, Jana, Jill, Anna, Orchestra Pit Duggars (which kid was that), or the elderly J.R. Duggars without consent from the minor or the infirm? All of those examples are examples of the media and production team undermining the rights to privacy...

The media didn't molest the minors and, in truth, didn't name any names of the minors involved- Josh, included. The media reported on a redacted police report that revealed a poorly executed attempt to cover up a crime. If you can film the funeral of a stillborn or the pain of a preemie under the guise of educating the public and shining a light on it, then you can't use the "but, but, they are suffering children" excuse. The Duggars happily signed away their daughters' dignity when they profited and many of us were outraged.

I very much agree with what you said, both with public knowledge of other traumas, as well as the Duggars putting their kids on parade. What I was referring to was the police report being made public, with details. With the other public cases we were given general knowledge, and with the exception of JonBenet, it appeared that the survivors were given some control over what was shared. It just feels very invasive to me, even when coupled with the Duggar parents opening their family up to public scrutiny.

[Bella]

Since this is Small Talk ...

 

In the midst of modding what we've variously called the 19 Kids Swarm, the Surge, etc., one of my cats got sick, which added to the stress. Fortunately, she's all better today. And I went to a networking lunch with some good friends, bought some dark chocolate at Trader Joe's, and took a 2-hour nap. So I'm no longer the Cranky Tired Mod from this morning.

 

Wanderwoman, I don't know if I ever mentioned this - I either did or wanted to - but I used to volunteer with a woman whose parents decided against the cochlear implants. She got them on her own as a young adult, however, and for a number of years afterwards was furious with her parents, especially her mother, for their decision to forego them. That has been in the back of my mind as I've read your moving stories about Maisie. Best wishes to you on your journey with her.

[Barbie]

I'm putting this here b/c I'm not sure the topic... but,  I wonder what the people from Kid Farm (youtube videos) think of what has happened with Josh?

Edited May 26, 2015 by Barbie

[JenCarroll]

The mods are doing an excellent job with this event. Don't think that we don't know it!

[Julia]

Since this is Small Talk ...

 

In the midst of modding what we've variously called the 19 Kids Swarm, the Surge, etc., one of my cats got sick, which added to the stress. Fortunately, she's all better today. And I went to a networking lunch with some good friends, bought some dark chocolate at Trader Joe's, and took a 2-hour nap. So I'm no longer the Cranky Tired Mod from this morning.

 

I should have figured this would have a disaster event name.

 

Well kitty, growned up lunch with growned ups, chocolate, nap. Sounds like the perfect medicine.

[springtime]

A new name for the forum from my morning radio show (WMAS from the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, MA)

 

19 Kids and Counseling

[ChocolateAddict]

Again, I love the sense of camaraderie here, and I'm happy to be part of it ! If anyone ever wants to talk about dogs I'd be an eager participant ! I just have the one for now, the love of my life and total goofball you see as my avatar. He's much more photogenic than me !!! He's a rescue from Berryville, Arkansas, if you can believe that ! Pretty damn close to the Duggars, and I'm hoping he wasn't one of their innumerable cast-offs, those poor, ignored creatures. I'm almost feeling guilty because he has a TempurPedic bed while some of the girls slept (still sleep ?) in Pack-N-Plays. That's just nutso, but I know how to spoil my fur baby !

 

Dog talk!!! I have the most beautiful golden Labrador retriever with big brown eyes.  She is everyone's favourite family member and she knows it, hahaha.  It's morning here and she is currently curled up in a patch of sunlight looking adorable :) There are dog toys everywhere in our house because when we go to the pet shop (once every few months), we get her a new one.  She gets so excited whenever you give her a new toy, she dances around and then for the next few days she will run up to everyone with the toy in her mouth to show it off.  

 

I'm also really enjoying this forum. I was never on TWOP and it is so cool to be able to talk to people from different places and backgrounds in such a welcoming space.  It's nice to be able to have a look at Small Talk for good news when the other threads are blowing up with the bad news.  

And a massive thank you to the mods who I'm sure are run off their feet right now!  I can barely keep up with skimming the threads, let alone having to read and moderate them all.