Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[CherryMalotte]

As the song goes, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.  And I like my cawfee too, hot and cold.  

You amaze me HFC - I think if I had that constantly going on with both parents at the same time I would have been hitting the alcohol pretty hard.  All damn day.  I may yet start up.  In all of this I think what hurts is this - how many people that ask about 'your dad, your poor dad, how is he doing?  Is he okay, does he need anything?' and there's so little 'how are you doing?'.  I don't know if that is just rote with these things, but I know I'm going to get my limit (because I'm like my mom that way heh heh) and get snappy on someone eventually and say 'oh he's fine, he doesn't have do do anything but be the widower, but I'm busy as all get out and falling apart at the seams, how are you?'.  

But in the good news department - it's Deadpool dvd day!  Whoooo hooooo!  I'm getting that today after I run a crapload of bills and paperwork to my lovely ladies helping with mom's Medicaid stuff.  Bless them, they have been so nice to me.  

[Absolom]

It's a good way to divide the sheep from the goats by who asks how you are holding up and tries to be a support or comfort.  I appreciate people who have asked after my parents, but the caring ones are the ones who follow it with how are YOU doing?

That's wonderful that you have help with the Medicaid.  I help people fill out Medi-Cal paperwork.  That's the California version.

[Aja]

I just took the test. It asked me if the fact I'm going to hell concerns me, so I clicked no, and it said "It should."  Ooooooh somebody admit me to the burn unit. 

ETA I also adored the passive-aggressive "Have you ever broken the first commandment? (Click here if you don't know what the first commandment is, hellbound apostate.)"

Edited May 10, 2016 by Aja

[emma675]

Make room in the handbasket, I'm headed for hell, too. And here I thought I was a pretty decent person. Oh, well.

Cherry, you come in here and vent and bitch all you need to. Sometimes places like ours are the only area in our lives where we can let loose, let it out and feel a little better.

[Happyfatchick]

I was lucky I guess - most of my friends and acquaintances who knew what was going on were kind enough to ask about the whole mess instead of just the (currently) ailing parent.  It was a TRICK, I'll say that, to keep up with both of them at times. daddy was really hard of hearing, so I would spend the whole day yelling in his face.  Mama would just get interested in something and off she'd go.  (But alas, she forgot what had her interest by the time she got there).  

I parked Daddy in a lobby once and yelled at him to STAY IN THIS LOBBY, OK?  He nodded, still standing.  I went back down the hall to yell at the doctor about something, and when I came back, he was GONE.  Talk about some panic!  But I managed to think like him, and I guessed correctly when I said to stay in the lobby, he thought I meant "go" to the main lobby, so he did.  It's partly the stress of getting them to and fro that is a stress factor, but even bigger (waaaaay bigger) is the stress of being someone's advocate.  In that same time period, before we knew he had cancer all over, he kept saying his back hurt.  Over and over and over.  The doc listened to his heart/lungs and to his complaints, but never even touched his back to try to diagnose.  I was furious.  "Can he have something for pain until we find the problem?"  Well, not really, because Coumadin.  "Ok, could you run some tests, maybe?  What about his kidneys?"  She looked at me square in the face and asked, "do you have a urine sample?"  I looked around to see whom she might be addressing.  "Me???  Did I get a urine sample?  No!  Because if he gave me a sample, I'd have pee in a cup.  Why don't YOU ask him for a urine sample?"

also the time he had stomach issues and we went trotting off to Dr. L.  Doc listens carefully to the complaints.  Daddy was so weak, he slumped against a file cabinet when he was done talking.  Just getting up to the office had about done him in.  He was gray, he was lifeless.  He looked dead.  Dr. L. says "we need to start with a colonoscopy".  I said "nope.  Not happening".  So then the doc slumps a little.  I said, "look at that man.  He's dying.  He looks dead right now.  He couldn't SURVIVE the prep for a colonoscopy, and even if he could, I wouldn't put him through that at this point".  I actually (no joke) thought he'd DIED in the car on the way home that day.

i tell you, when you're dealing with a strong man who's been large and in charge all his life, it's a crushing burden to step in and make decisions like that.  I sure do miss them both, though.

im not taking the hell test.  I'm holding out the hope that I get in heaven, even if it's a typo.

[Micks Picks]

I think we get so furious because we still expect them to be who they were.  It isn't their fault they are old and afflicted with disease.  They just can't do what they used to do, or be who they were.  Really the last thing they need is us being nasty with them.  But I think our nastiness is overwhelming anger at the whole situation, and the craziness of the medical professionals who should have some empathy and skill and cease the hair brained ideas about colonoscopies.  I saw a very old feeble man bringing his wife wrecked with dementia to the doc for one of those and explaining he couldn't do all the preps on her.  Poor man, poor woman, stupid brainless doctor.  We are so frustrated and it comes out in behavior they don't deserve.  Really.  I was better with my husband because I wasn't going to fight him over every little thing.  I was half dead from running him around.  I did do a primal scream once, and it went on and on and I've never done one before or since.  But I sure needed that one.   

[Happyfatchick]

And you know what, Micks?  I came back to apologize for my post because after hitting the post button, I thought of people like YOU who took care of spouses and even their children with special needs that just carry on every single day without a break, and without complaint.  I'm not special in any way for caring for my parents. They were each amazing in their own way, and I'm honored to have been there for them.  

Also, I'm the baby, and I'm the only girl in the family.  I would've volunteered, but the opportunity didn't really present itself, if you know what I mean.  Lots of times I was looking around, hearing crickets.  But it wouldn't have mattered.  I wouldn't have let anyone else do it.

[Absolom]

I am so thankful that with my mother almost all of the doctors have understood that their job is to deal with the comfort of life issues.  I told the family doctor that I was unconcerned with cholesterol and other such tests and he smiled and said I'm not either and we're not doing them.  He is in agreement that we treat things like UTIs and sinus infections, but we're not torturing her with ridiculous things that she wouldn't want if she were still able to give consent. 

[Micks Picks]

Life sucks a lot time, doesn't it.  It seems unforgivable to spend 10 years dying.  The body is done, sometimes the mind as well, but death does not come.  My husband fought it.  So did my mother.  She was 95.  My sister, when she had to do very little for me, I mean she did almost nothing, did it with a snarl and cussing at me.  Nature would have taken you out much sooner, but with not so much care, most of us will just get feeble and need help. It's not fun for them and it won't be for us to have more help.  Well, I take that back, I know that many people want as many people doing things for them as they can get.  I don't like them.  But for the most part our lives will become smaller.  I'm not even jealous I didn't go to Indonesia or Turkey or Africa.  Just the horror of going from home to getting on the plane, and then up to 17 hours on the plane, turn me off.  Plus all the walking, heat, inconvenience.  I'm glad I did a lot of traveling early.  

[CherryMalotte]

I will say I've met some really incredible people in this goofy ass journey thru the garden of unearthly bullshit. Every nurse that I encountered from my mother's first ER visit to that last hospice morning was lovely.  I was very lucky that way.  Very kind, very patient, some had wonderful senses of humor and were very nice to her.  And I got to hear some stories too - from a couple of the nurses on the cancer floor and in hospice told me that this was not the only time they'd seen someone that hadn't gotten care when they should, for whatever reason.  How sad is that?  There's more people out there than just my mother that don't seek treatment.  Her cancer doc is a supporter of universal care and he had seen a couple of cases like my mom's go up to the tumor board.  One of the billing people that I have been working with even opened up and told me that something similar had happened in her family, a parent that kept their illness totally to themselves, but their parent unfortunately had died very suddenly and even with a big family it was hard for everything to be dealt with, because of the shock.  What a shame that is in this day and age.        

[zoomama]

 You do whatcha gotta do.  The thing is, we can't be in charge of how our parents have treated us in the past, or even how they disregard our current lives and families.  I wasn't in charge of how they treated ME, I was in charge of how I treat them...HFC wrote this.

 

this is so true. there were times in my life that were really pretty rough to get through; some really deep wounds.  when my mother took sick, we had less than a week from diagnosis till death. it was shocking to say the least. i had some very difficult issues going on in my life, specifically that week and that day that my mother passed (i was there with her when she went to heaven).  i had to make the decision to go and try to handle one issue immediately AFTER mom was gone and left my kids at dad's house to be with my family. it involved emergency surgery for someone very close to me and i had to be there in someone else's place that could not be there to support this person through the surgery. when i returned a few hours later, lets just say that some really horrible words were lashed out at me, degrading me even further than ever and really breaking my spirit.

fast forward many years (12 i think) and dad was diagnosed with cancer. i made the personal executive decision that regardless of prior 'hurts' i was going to work on forgiveness and be there for him. i went to see him twice a week every week while he was on hospice, tried to help as much as i could and talk to as well with him. those were healing moments for me, although difficult to get through. i just felt, regardless of past wrong decisions on his part, i owed him the respect of my time and moral support in the battle that would take his life. i have never regretted it.

[kalamac]

6 hours ago, Aja said:

I just took the test. It asked me if the fact I'm going to hell concerns me, so I clicked no, and it said "It should."  Ooooooh somebody admit me to the burn unit. 

ETA I also adored the passive-aggressive "Have you ever broken the first commandment? (Click here if you don't know what the first commandment is, hellbound apostate.)"

I actually had to click on that. I thought the first commandment was "thou shalt not kill", and wanted to double check before I answered. (I haven't killed anyone in case you all are now wondering.)

[NewDigs]

We're all and each such different critters. I wonder if I might be the person who holds info in. I sometimes feel like I'm the cat/dog who goes off into the corner to lick their wounds. And at what point does treatment for a potentially incurable disease have an overwhelming impact on one's last years' quality of life? Such a hard call.

I do my best to treat my mom's recalcitrance with that kind of respect. Unfortunately once in a while the aggaravation level surpasses patience. And then I feel guilty. 

I do and suggest things hoping to make her more comfortable but at the end of the day where's the most happiness? I find that sometimes I'm the one most aggravated so try to regroup and get with her program.

Tough call.

[Absolom]

As I did with stepdad, I will do with my mother.  End of life decisions will be as she requested before her mind slipped away so much.  As I told hospice with him when they asked what I wanted to do, it is not what I want it is what he said repeatedly that the wanted.  I'll email you all his paperwork with his wishes.

[CherryMalotte]

I hope I haven't given the impression that because of whatever transgressions my parental units have done in their lives that I'm revenging myself now.  He's being taken care of, because at the end of it all I'm the better person.  I'm doing what I have to do, it's not my fault he's a jerk.  I can trace how my remaining parent acts due to his upbringing.  It's up to me to break that chain, which I have with my own child.

However...we all have our limits.     

[Love2dance]

38 minutes ago, CherryMalotte said:

I hope I haven't given the impression that because of whatever transgressions my parental units have done in their lives that I'm revenging myself now.  He's being taken care of, because at the end of it all I'm the better person.  I'm doing what I have to do, it's not my fault he's a jerk.  I can trace how my remaining parent acts due to his upbringing.  It's up to me to break that chain, which I have with my own child.

However...we all have our limits.     

Awww, no worries, CHERRYMALOTTE. It is apparent that you are doing what you can and are overwhelmed. We are a safe place for you to vent. I also delt with a very difficult, demanding 90 year old parent at the end of his life, so you have my full sympathy. More ((hugs)) to you.

[Happyfatchick]

CherryM, sometimes I sound superior when I post something, and I truly do not mean to.  I didn't get the impression AT ALL that you are less than wonderful to your dad.  I was trying to offer support and encourage you to keep going, even when you wish you didn't have to.  After my father died, we discovered just how much he'd been covering for Mama.  I mean, I was there a minimum of twice a week, and sometimes every day.  You'd be amazed how much they can cover up or gloss over.  And I probably accepted his lame (in hind site) excuses because I wanted to go on with my life as it was.  We truly tried to help and they pushed us away, not wanting to lose their independence.  So that when he died, I was blindsided.  I hadn't ever totally gotten the memo that said  "surprise!!!  She's alllllll yours!"  I owned a STORE, for Pete's sake!  I had children and grandchildren!  I had a son leaving for marine boot camp in a matter of weeks!  I had a life!  Except...it didn't matter to anyone but me.  That sounds bitter, and I most certainly was, for a long time.  I think I'm good now.  My brother jokes all the time that when Daddy died, it took 4 of us to do everything he did daily.  It's true!  It took me a month just to figure out her medications, and which doc had prescribed what.  Took me more than a month to figure out what "good" meant for her.  Took me almost 2 years to quit trying to force her to eat the things she'd loved when I was growing up and far into adulthood: dementia changed her taste pallet.  

Really, what I meant to say was this:  I took the helm and I drove that sucker to the end.  It was HARD WORK.  She was just NOT my mom anymore.  She was an adult sized baby.  I took over her care, I loved her, and I was diligent.  About a year in, I told my brother "I think I got this now.  Ive finally got a firm grip on her needs, and her care.  I am finally comfortable that everything is smoothed out".  And he looked at me and said, "the thing is, you've probably prolonged her life by 10 years because she's getting better care than she has in a long time".  And I remember thinking...well, I can't even make myself write the vulgarity that actually pinged around my head.  I loved my mother, I LOVE my mother.  But *#%%!!!!!, I can't do this for TEN YEARS!!!!!  And then my brother said, "well, gotta run.  See ya!"  

Crickets.  

And THATS what I meant to convey.  Not crickets, but that I getcha.  I do.

[GeeGolly]

7 hours ago, CherryMalotte said:

I hope I haven't given the impression that because of whatever transgressions my parental units have done in their lives that I'm revenging myself now.  He's being taken care of, because at the end of it all I'm the better person.  I'm doing what I have to do, it's not my fault he's a jerk.  I can trace how my remaining parent acts due to his upbringing.  It's up to me to break that chain, which I have with my own child.

However...we all have our limits.     

Never got that impression at all Cherry. Aging, death & dying is tough stuff. Anyone who provides the kind of care that you have, and continue to do, will have a plethora of feelings. Actions say a whole lot more than words.

[Happyfatchick]

Here's a rant just for us, you know - the folks "our" age.  Two years ago, we had to buy a new washer and drier.  We bought middle-of-the-road, but they are "high efficiency".  It now takes me twice as long to do laundry because my washer has to "feel" the load.  It stops constantly, arguing the load is uneven.  It takes as long as an hour sometimes for it to wash a load of clothes.  What the heck???  My clothes aren't a BIT cleaner after being in there for that long.  And the drier...I haven't dried a load of towels or tshirts YET (in 2 years!!) that I felt confident about.  On my back porch this minute is a tacky (but EFFICIENT!) piece of rope pulled across full of t-shirts.  (My husband HATES my laundry string!).  When it's pretty out, I always hang the t-shirts and towels outside (after drying them!) just to make sure.  There is NOHING worse than pulling a slightly soured t-shirt over your head or burying your face into a towel fresh out of the shower that makes you draw back and wonder if it's clean...when you know you just washed it.  I don't care if it's old fashioned, I miss my washer and drier that let ME do the thinking.

[BitterApple]

My sister bought a ridiculously expensive washer/dryer set and she hates them. She told me she wishes she'd just stuck with the standard top loading washer with the basic cycles and a regular dryer. 

[CherryMalotte]

Oh gawd, I wish my husband would let me hang out clothes!  I would love to air dry sheets and towels.  It must be a man thing HFC.  I have a newer washer myself and made sure we bought a 'simpler' model only because I'm suspect of too many options on that kind of equipment.  

Don't mind anything I type ya'll - I'm still raw I suppose.  I just seem to take five steps forward then three back and then two forward and ten back.  My husband is having major surgery soon and I think I'm wigging out on that some, but on an internal level because I want to be calm and collected for him.  I find that Deadpool last night was a wonderful diversion.  Seen it five times now and never tire of it.

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, Happyfatchick said:

Here's a rant just for us, you know - the folks "our" age.  Two years ago, we had to buy a new washer and drier.  We bought middle-of-the-road, but they are "high efficiency".  It now takes me twice as long to do laundry because my washer has to "feel" the load.  It stops constantly, arguing the load is uneven.  It takes as long as an hour sometimes for it to wash a load of clothes.  What the heck???  My clothes aren't a BIT cleaner after being in there for that long.  And the drier...I haven't dried a load of towels or tshirts YET (in 2 years!!) that I felt confident about.  On my back porch this minute is a tacky (but EFFICIENT!) piece of rope pulled across full of t-shirts.  (My husband HATES my laundry string!).  When it's pretty out, I always hang the t-shirts and towels outside (after drying them!) just to make sure.  There is NOHING worse than pulling a slightly soured t-shirt over your head or burying your face into a towel fresh out of the shower that makes you draw back and wonder if it's clean...when you know you just washed it.  I don't care if it's old fashioned, I miss my washer and drier that let ME do the thinking.

OMG I am so with you. We have the front loaders left from previous owner. I really miss my old fashioned top loader washer and gas dryer. I've been looking to get new old fashioned ones but the reviews are all over the place. Don't want to make an expensive mistake. Can't hang outside in this subdivision. I used to love hanging out clothes and diapers back in the olden days. 

[emma675]

I wish I could hang my clothes and sheets out to dry, but the damn pollen is so bad right now I would end up allergic to everything I own. Luckily, I have a cheap, top loading washer and dryer set, so they work perfectly. My mom got one of those fancy front loading, save water, clean your clothes more efficiently washers and she hates it. It takes longer to wash things and it's broken a seal twice and leaked all over her laundry room.

[Happyfatchick]

Can't hang out clothes in my neighborhood either, but if they get around to checking my back porch (which can only be seen from the back yard), they better have a warrant.  It's not stationary either, I put hooks on the supports so it goes away when it's not wash day.  (Or wash WEEK, as it goes now!). And I soooo agree with the sheets thing - the hubs gets SO annoyed when I hang sheets or blankets outside, but NOTHING in this world smells better than air dried sheets.  In the winter, I'm so paranoid about stinky t-shirts, after they come out of the drier, I hang them over the dining room chairs.  He loooooves that, I can assure you.

And anyway, HE goes out in the edge of the woods and pees on trees after a couple of beers, so really...I'm technically not even the biggest hick in the house.

ETA:  when I lived with my mom for awhile after Daddy passed (SUCH a baaaaaaad idea), we used her front loader.  I had them when I was much younger, and had forgotten how much I hated them.  The machine itself never smells clean, and grows mold in places that are ridiculous to find.  The "cleaner" pods never did the trick.  Hated that!  I feel ya!

Edited May 11, 2016 by Happyfatchick

[Barb23]

That's so funny about the washer & dryer talk.  My friend & I had same discussion on Saturday.  I'm so glad I went with the basic washer years ago when the high efficiency ones came out.  I've heard nothing but bad reports on the high eff ones.  When you have to have to run a cycle just to clean  out the washer & keep it smelling nice, I draw the line. I love clothes & linens that have been dried outside.  I sometimes worry about the pollen but usually the fresh smell beats out the runny nose. 

Talking about appliances, has anyone seen commercial for new refrigerator (think Samsung) that has some type of built in computer that can show you what's inside the refrigerator when you are at the store? I've only seen commercial  twice but it looks like dad is questioning if they need eggs & then checks app on phone.   It looks like computer screen takes up most of the front of the refrigerator, it was a side by side. I'm too lazy to Google it right now, but quoting my mother "what will they think of next?"

[bigskygirl]

Interesting about the front loader washing machines because our washing machine died in late January and our dryer is on its last leg. I was told a front load washer is better because I need a good size machine in order to wash my comforter and blankets in hot water due to being borderline allergic to dust mites and my other lovely allergies. Our dryer makes scary noises when I try to dry clothes and takes over two hours to dry the comforter. I do not want to get a simple washer and dryer because I am afraid they will not be able to handle a comforter and blankets. The one washer machine I looked at has an allergen/sanitary cycle, and the dryer will be able to handle a full size comforter and has a sanitization and quick dry cycle. We need machines I can use to clean clothes and bed items well and help with the allergies..

[Happyfatchick]

In the spirit of Duggarville, I must report I have been chastised by the Spirit and convicted that I committed agregious sins when I reported I hang things out when my husband doesn't like it, and made fun of him for peeing on trees.  I have confessed my sins before God and purpose to be submissive for the rest of my life.

or until I was a load of t-shirts again, whichever comes first.  

Amen.

[kathe5133]

High Efficiency washers are the worst!!  My roommate bought one.  You can't wash a full size, moderately full comforter or the machine freaks out!  You have to use special soap.  If you have the habit of carrying tissues in your pocket and are forgetful, you'll have problems cause the tissues will clog the sensors.  The washer in my house was rendered useless because a quarter got stuck in the bottom.  Once you start the load the lid locks (was this to prevent people from crawling into a running washing machine?  I did not know that was a thing).  If a sock has dropped to the floor, and the washer has started, your screwed!  You can unplug the washer, but then, like most computers that have lost their power source, you run the risk of it being unable to start again.  And.......  There is a price for the washing machine, but unless you want to have to kneel on the floor to load it, there is a separate price for a little stand?  WTF! 

[NewDigs]

1 hour ago, Barb23 said:

That's so funny about the washer & dryer talk.  My friend & I had same discussion on Saturday.  I'm so glad I went with the basic washer years ago when the high efficiency ones came out.  I've heard nothing but bad reports on the high eff ones.  When you have to have to run a cycle just to clean  out the washer & keep it smelling nice, I draw the line. I love clothes & linens that have been dried outside.  I sometimes worry about the pollen but usually the fresh smell beats out the runny nose. 

Talking about appliances, has anyone seen commercial for new refrigerator (think Samsung) that has some type of built in computer that can show you what's inside the refrigerator when you are at the store? I've only seen commercial  twice but it looks like dad is questioning if they need eggs & then checks app on phone.   It looks like computer screen takes up most of the front of the refrigerator, it was a side by side. I'm too lazy to Google it right now, but quoting my mother "what will they think of next?"

My mom needed to replace a 1970s washer-dryer combo and researched and researched and researched some more until she found a GE set that wasn't digital and just has the good ol' dials. 

She is a bit upset w/ the new washer as it doesn't have load-level settings, and the washer determines amount of water needed for the load. And it takes it a while to do that so now she "has" to stand there for a while because she'd like to be sure it actually starts!

Family stays in a vacay rental house with a dishwasher w/ a delayed start. And it's the last thing we do (load and start) before we vacate. One year my brother and I stood there waiting for the start, opened the door, closed the door, reset, waited and opened and closed the door again hoping to make it go and then waited some more. A digital unit and yes it did finally start and we could leave.

KISS!

[Absolom]

Some of the front loaders can be stopped and restarted for dropped socks.  Daughter's is like that.  Push the start button again and it stops.  It also handles comforters and quilts with ease.  I know she did a ton of research before buying.  The dryers though are tricky.  They do not do well on small loads we've found.  Run it twice on extra dry or hang the stuff up for a few hours to be sure.  We all have a bunch of drying racks. 

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Interesting about the front loader washing machines because our washing machine died in late January and our dryer is on its last leg. I was told a front load washer is better because I need a good size machine in order to wash my comforter and blankets in hot water due to being borderline allergic to dust mites and my other lovely allergies. Our dryer makes scary noises when I try to dry clothes and takes over two hours to dry the comforter. I do not want to get a simple washer and dryer because I am afraid they will not be able to handle a comforter and blankets. The one washer machine I looked at has an allergen/sanitary cycle, and the dryer will be able to handle a full size comforter and has a sanitization and quick dry cycle. We need machines I can use to clean clothes and bed items well and help with the allergies..

After ye ole big storm we replaced our somewhat new, but unsalvageable standard washer and dryer. We went with the front loaders. We've had a great experience with them. The only thing I don't like is, because we have them sitting directly on the floor, we have to bend over to transfer the clothes. It was easier, for us anyways, to reach into a top loader and pull out the wet clothes. I would recommend buying the pricey drawers that they sell to go under them or building a platform to raise them up a bit.

We are not allowed clotheslines in our community either. I miss freshly hung sheets. And I actually miss the somewhat stiff towels too. I just think they absorb better.

My front loader has a pause button if you need to throw something in after it starts. If I remember correctly my top loader locked too and I had to pull the knob out to pause it once it started spinning.

ETA. We played with different settings because the dryer was shutting off with our clothes somewhat damp every once in a while. The standard untimed setting works best for us for a light load.

Edited May 11, 2016 by GeeGolly

[MargeGunderson]

I love my front loader (and matching dryer); 8 months in and not a single problem. Initially I was concerned that it would take twice as long to wash, based on my mother-in-law's experience, but mine has been the opposite - faster than my top loader. The dryer has been fantastic as well. Both are LG, in case anyone is looking for a recommendation.

Edited May 11, 2016 by MargeGunderson

[GeeGolly]

45 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I love my front loader (and matching dryer); 8 months in and not a single problem. Initially I was concerned that it would take twice as long to wash, based on my mother-in-law's experience, but mine has been the opposite - faster than my top loader. The dryer has been fantastic as well. Both are LG, in case anyone is looking for a recommendation.

Ww have LG too.

[CalicoKitty]

• I love my top load, somewhat basic washer.  For anyone researching new washers and dryers, be sure to check out Speed Queen.  Basic, heavy duty and dependable.  Speed Queen makes most  machines found in commercial laundry places.  And the washer does not eat holes in my clothes!!

[Jynnan tonnix]

Put me in with the (seemingly very small) group who is happy with their front-loaders. I first had one (which came with the house) in the house previous to this and loved it. Never any problems. I believe that might have been an LG as well, but don't recall. When bought our current house about three and a half years ago it came with an old-style set which was good enough, but probably original to the house which was about 20 years old, and the dryer died less than a year later, so we gave the old washer to our newly-married daughter (it still works!) and got a new set with the front-loader. They are Samsung, and have worked perfectly so far (about 2 1/2 years). I even managed to wash our fairly hefty Queen-size comforter in it recently after the cat peed on it. And I love how it spins everything to so very nearly dry. I just spread the comforter out over the dining room table & chairs, and it was ready to put back on the bed well before evening. A lot of lighter clothes I don't even bother drying...they are so close that I can just hang them up as is and they are completely dry 1/2 hour later. In a pinch, I've even worn a couple of things right out of the washer, and they were dry enough to look fine and not be uncomfortable.

The wash times are not too long at all either...Unless I have something with major stains on it, or stuff that I really need deep-cleaned or sanitized I just generally use the "quick wash" cycle which seems to clean everything perfectly adequately in about 1/2 an hour.

All that being said, though, I do also love to hang things outside as soon as the weather is warm enough that they don't freeze. My husband does't like the crunchy towels, but I do agree with whoever just said that they seem more absorbent that way. And everything smells soooo fresh!

[crazycatlady58]

7 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

In the spirit of Duggarville, I must report I have been chastised by the Spirit and convicted that I committed agregious sins when I reported I hang things out when my husband doesn't like it, and made fun of him for peeing on trees.  I have confessed my sins before God and purpose to be submissive for the rest of my life.

or until I was a load of t-shirts again, whichever comes first.  

Amen.

We have a wide range  of people on this thread ,with  a wide   area of knowledge ,  so can someone  please  tell me why men love to pee outside ?  Both my step father's did when we had a fully  functional  bathroom  in the house. We lived in the country  and there was no one around  to see, but still ? Really ?  I have been  camping  and had to find a tree but if I have an inside  bathroom   I use it.

[kalamac]

I love my front loader washing machine. But I'm with @Jynnan tonnix's husband about the crunchy towels. My stuff all goes in the dryer, so it's not being used just for my towels (which would be a waste of energy). I get a scratch rash from towels that have been hanging outside, no matter what kind of fabric softener I try. Used to drive my mother nuts when I was a kid, because none of my siblings have that problem, and she hated having to use the dryer for my stuff if it was nice outside.

[GeeGolly]

6 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

We have a wide range  of people on this thread ,with  a wide   area of knowledge ,  so can someone  please  tell me why men love to pee outside ?  Both my step father's did when we had a fully  functional  bathroom  in the house. We lived in the country  and there was no one around  to see, but still ? Really ?  I have been  camping  and had to find a tree but if I have an inside  bathroom   I use it.

You can count my husband out here. He'll pee outside if he has to, but he really prefers a bathroom.

[frenchtoast]

Ha, I have a LG front loading washer and I'm pretty happy with it, too. But I agree with @GeeGolly, the platform or drawers are needed. I've had mine for about 10 years and I'm so tired of bending down to transfer the clothes. Also, I occasionally ran the washer empty on a sanitary cycle with bleach to get the mustiness out. Since we bought a steam cleaner last year, I throw in the white cloths I use with that.

When my son was younger, he was thrilled when discovered he could pee outside. It's not something he would do regularly. Only when he was in the pool and I didn't want him trailing water all through the house to get to the bathroom. It's one of the reasons why I like those tankini suits for girls. Not bikinis, but tanks on top and separate bottoms. This was A-girl can run into the house and not have to peel off the entire bathing suit to sit on the toilet.

[Absolom]

On the mustiness of front loaders don't close the door tight between washings.  Some of them have a stop hold so the door is slightly open and that keeps them from getting musty as they get air to dry out. 

[frenchtoast]

I do leave it open. It still gets a musty smell. It doesn't help that the washer/dryer are in the basement and I have a tendency to forget that a load is in there. 

[smlait]

What kills me is that the pedestals aren't universal.  Every brand has slightly different specs - and they even change them every few years to try and force you to buy new pedestals if you have to buy a new washer/dryer.  (I know this because the previous owners of our house didn't look after their appliances and we just had to replace a washer/dryer that were no more than 7 years old.  We'd previously replaced similarly aged stove and dishwasher.  Fortunately, the damage on the fridge is just cosmetic.)

[GeeGolly]

I think I might be losing it. I thought my longed for yellow line returned, only in blue, and the posts were no longer shrouded in pink.

But here I am, looking up at a pink box, with no line in sight, neither yellow or blue.

[lookeyloo]

I have red titles for some of my shows. And I'm not taken to the mend of the thread. What's up with that?

[GeeGolly]

10 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I have red titles for some of my shows. And I'm not taken to the mend of the thread. What's up with that?

Oh my, some red thread titles are appearing for me now too. 

[bigskygirl]

Red forum titles are for letting us know there new posts.

[GeeGolly]

Today I overheard two 20 somethings talking in line at the pharmacy. They were discussing how they plan certain posts on FB for certain days and times to increase the odds of receiving more likes. I've heard similar stuff like this mentioned before, but this time it got me thinking about so many aspects of a life lived with the internet, as I waited in line. It'll be interesting to see what, if any, significant changes have occurred, in comparison to generations without it, when the first generation to have internet form birth reaches their 50s or 60s.

Probably similar to thoughts when we first had phones and TVs, etc. Yikes, I guess I'm old.

[Absolom]

How do you get pink boxes?  Mine are gray.  I love the bold red for unread threads though.  That's a real improvement.

[GeeGolly]

My boxes have always a faded pink, outlined in gray. I like the red threads too. Before I had a hard time seeing which threads weren't read.

Very Dr Seuss. The red threads are ones that are not read.

[Happyfatchick]

I'd like to know that too, Absolom.  I have gray and darker gray outline, but when certain people post, their boxes are in color.  (Looking at YOU, Aja).  Is this a trick you figured out, or some way you set up your homepage?  I think Aja's come acoss as light pink.  Someone else has pale green.  (On MY screen, anyway.)

i repierced the second hole in my right ear this morning, yes, I did.  With a sanitized needle and string, just like it happened the first time 30 years ago.  That hole ALWAYS grows shut.  I was very careful and intend to keep it clean - but fully expect to have a right ear the size of MrRod by tonight.  Won't THAT be pretty?

ETA: Aja is clearly the teachers pet

also: SewSumi reported that a friend had a face-on encounter with TFDW recently.  (The friend asked her not to post the deets, which is understandable).  I'm curious, I think I missed some posts somewhere - did they move?  (David and Priss?).  This encounter made me wonder...you know how when you cross paths with someone British, your normal enunciation sort of straightens up and you speak more clearly?  (I know I do...). I wonder if, when you encounter someone breathless and not-quite-right (like Priss), would you have a tendency to go all amazed and gaspy talking like them???

Edited May 13, 2016 by Happyfatchick
I'm ADD, sometimes i have to let the air pockets out of my head