Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Missy Vixen]

HFC, if you don't mind spending some money, I have your solution. This brand is a division of Wacoal and expensive, but I will keep buying them. I actually save up to buy two at a time. They're comfortable, well-made, and did I mention comfortable? There's also the added bonus of one's boobs being where they were meant to be in the first place.

 

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/elomi-smoothing-molded-cup-underwire-bra-plus-size/3021218?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Nude&resultback=815

BTW, I hand-wash them and hang them to dry. They must never, ever go through the washer. Ask the husband what happened when he put one of my bras through the washer by accident...

[phoenix62]

I downloaded a sample of I Fired God last night and bought the book last night. I'm about at the 3/4 mark. It's a good read but not at all what I thought. But that's just me, I get caught up in the hype about movies and books and always expect them to be more.

I just finished the book. I went to buy it a few days ago only to find I already bought it (Kindle book)

I thought it was well written and just heartbreaking that the author went through all that ....as well as others.

What struck me curious was the fact that while she mentioned many people associated with this terrible cult, I don't think she mentioned the Duggars at all save for once. I was hoping that she would blast them in her last chapter like she did others.

Perhaps she has good reason.

I applaud her for all she's done to bring all this mistreatment to light.

I'd love to send a copy to all the Duggar women:-)

[Tukahar]

I read I Fired God last night, and was horrified of course by the brutality these women and children face, but more so by the governments seeming lack of interest. The Rubios, Huckabees, various senators and governors, police officials, and "church leaders" that are turning a blind eye to this issue sickens me. I understand church and state, but I also believe the law overrides church doctrine as far as physical and sexual abuse, education, and the right to have choices without threat of harassment.

[RedPonyDriver]

Update on big announcement...

Got a phone call today to find out if I could start training this SATURDAY!!!! Of course i said YES!! 

 

Stay tuned...and thank you all for your love and support...it means a lot!

[BrianJ62]

Update on big announcement...

Got a phone call today to find out if I could start training this SATURDAY!!!! Of course i Saud YES!!

Stay tuned...and thank you all for your love and support...it means a lot!

Good luck, I used to be an HSE (Health, Safety and Environmental) Advisor in the oil business.

[Readalot]

Update on big announcement...

Got a phone call today to find out if I could start training this SATURDAY!!!! Of course i said YES!!

Stay tuned...and thank you all for your love and support...it means a lot!

party time! Congrats!

[pinkie]

redponydriver:

woohoo!!! congrats!

[Love2dance]

Update on big announcement...

Got a phone call today to find out if I could start training this SATURDAY!!!! Of course i said YES!! 

 

Stay tuned...and thank you all for your love and support...it means a lot!

Wonderful news! Congratulations!

[GeeGolly]

In I Fired God Jocelyn mentioned that one of her sisters majored in nursing and then got a job at a hospital in South Carolina(?).Because the schools are unaccredited was the job more of an entry level nurses aid type job? The book mentions how her husband's teaching credentials were not excepted anywhere, but she never mentions her sister having trouble finding work.

 

One thing I found scary (other than the obvious) is how connected the IFB culture is across the United States. It seems even with each little sect thinking they're doing it right and the best, when push comes to shove they fly all over to support each other.

[zoomama]

i think i need to find that book!!!

[Happyfatchick]

ARWEN EVENSTAR, ON 27 FEB 2016 - 10:30 AM, SAID:

Just because we trust God to see us through whatever trials we may have, I believe He expects us to use the good sense He gave us as well. ..not just completely abdicate good sense and judgment for "come what may".

Yeah, isn't that what the Bible is supposed to have been given to the Christians for - a behavioral and mental framework? "Follow the Bible, and then throw yourself prayerfully on God's mercy for stumping tiebreakers not covered therein."

Plus, isn't there something about God only guaranteeing you protection if you're functioning out of the right motives? Like if you decided you wanted to be a missionary for your own vainglory, God makes no guarantee of protection. He could of course be super nice and protect you anyway, but maybe it was actually a sinful decision that wronged your spouse. As I am given to understand it people pray their metaphorical knees bloody before they decide to take up the mantle of missionaryhood, it's so undesirous to embark upon it lightly.

* * * * * * * *

I brought that to this thread to comment that your understanding is absolutely correct. Those missionaries who truly feel called to go lend aid, supply physical help to, whatever the mission is WOULD most certainly pray their knees bloody if their hearts are in the right place from the beginning. I can tell you first hand, sometimes there's less praying and not nearly enough planning. There is much more narcissism free floating in the missionary impulse than one would ever guess. Little prayer, little panning because: God. No planning for the lean times because their eyes are fixed on the goal - the goal being able to come home feeling validated and in high esteem for the sacrifices they make. It begs the question: is it truly massionary calling if the missionary's ultimate goal is to come back victorious? Wouldn't you rather gather a missionary family home if they returned in humility and devastated about what they COULDN'T do???

Not that I personally have a dog in this fight, of course. (Oy!). I feel like I have a PhD (along with an astounding radar) for narcissists and those that follow them.

Edited March 9, 2016 by Happyfatchick

[BrianJ62]

Not that I personally have a dog in this fight, of course. (Oy!). I feel like I have a PhD (along with an astounding radar) for narcissists and those that follow them.

Talk about dedication, a Mormon college football player ran his 40 yard (a USA football standard) in his Mormon missionary clothes.

[Catlyn]

For those talking about good fitting bras: http://www.trusstlingerie.com/pages/tech

They are pricy waaaaaaaaaaaaaay over my budget, but I like the concept. Trusst is a team of women - engineers and designers - who have designed and built a new system of bra support, catered towards larger busted women. The design supports the weight of your bust from underneath, removing the burden on your shoulder straps and refocusing the support around the core of your body where your strongest muscles are. I actually met some of the designers and saw the proto type. Really good work. I'm not involved anyway with the company, but figure if they get enough support maybe the prices can start coming down.

[Jellybeans]

Bras are very hard to find if you don't want underwires. And those are too pricey but very nice. I always say...why do bras have to look like boats? :-p

Edited March 9, 2016 by Jellybeans

[BrianJ62]

Bras are very hard to find if you don't want underwires. And those are too pricey but very nice. I always say...why do bras have to look like boats? :-p

Bras catch fire, I know I caught a woman's bra strap on fire when I shocked her, her bra strap somehow got up under one of the paddles.

[Micks Picks]

OMG Brian!     Too funny!

 

Ladies, try sports bra types.  No underwires and no openings.  Mine just pull on over the head.  Very comfortable.

[kassygreene]

OMG Brian!     Too funny!

 

Ladies, try sports bra types.  No underwires and no openings.  Mine just pull on over the head.  Very comfortable.

For anything larger than, say, a DD (I myself am J), a sport bra is freaking useless.  

 

Also, for anything in that size range, lack of any support will cause extreme agony within about an hour.

 

(Personal experience speaking here; if you share my size issues, your mileage probably doesn't vary.)

[CalicoKitty]

Check out BreastNest.  I first found it on Amazon, but they do have a website.  I think BreastNest.com.  This is an amazingly comfortable bra/garment.  They are coming out with a style without the camisole in  a couple of weeks.  This is a small company in the US, and the owner actually called me to answer questions.  This garment looks strange in the picture on Amazon, but, I tell you, it is the most comfortable "bra".  Not enough support for me to wear out of the house, but it is fabulous for around the house and at night.  Check it out and read the reviews.  Most women really love it.

[Happyfatchick]

Bras are very hard to find if you don't want underwires. And those are too pricey but very nice. I always say...why do bras have to look like boats? :-p

i can't speak for you, of course, but in MY case...

I think I might actually strap a kayak on if it would put the old ladies back where they belong (as if they were ever in a good position). If I had money to burn, I would go for a consult for a reduction tonight and have the procedure done tomorrow.

ETA: And on the way home, I would stop and buy NORMAL soft comfortable bras that NORMAL people wear and I would live happily ever after. Amen.

Edited March 10, 2016 by Happyfatchick

[RedPonyDriver]

I want a reduction and lift. I have large D's and the years of weight and nursing have made them droopy...I would like to be a nice C cup and have them perky again.

[Jellybeans]

I want affordable bras with no wires designed by women that do not feel like torture devices. Or look like boats or sports bras. And don't have slashes of lime green or neon blue (WTF) stripes across the front.

[GeeGolly]

One of Joan Rivers' funny lines was, "I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time."

 

Bras suck. Period.

 

Sports bras: Vertical mammogram. Padded bras: Build-A-Boob. Under-wires: Torture traps. No wires: Maraca holders. Shelf bras: Are you effing kidding me.

[BrianJ62]

One of Joan Rivers' funny lines was, "I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time."

Bras suck. Period.

Sports bras: Vertical mammogram. Padded bras: Build-A-Boob. Under-wires: Torture traps. No wires: Maraca holders. Shelf bras: Are you effing kidding me.

Bras will stop them from flopping.

[crazycatlady58]

Being small is not so great either, try finding a 38 barely B and the straps never stay up.

[Absolom]

 

Bras will stop them from flopping.

Said by someone who has never had GGs attached in the front. :) 

[BrianJ62]

Said by someone who has never had GGs attached in the front. :)

I could be a cross dresser who wears fake ones

[Love2dance]

Wow! I had no idea other people hated bras as much as I do. Having small, but well nursed-upon boobies, the first thing I do at home is take it off. Underwires are torture, but the bras slide up without them. After a few hours, I can't stand the band around my ribs. And shoulder straps only want to slide down. I'd go without, but then I'd have Joan River's problem. Ugh.

Sorry Brian, TMI !

Edited March 11, 2016 by Love2dance

[Jynnan tonnix]

Ha! I guess I'm reasonably lucky, then...I do have the problem of bra straps constantly sliding down my arms, but have found that sports bras solve that and keep my 42 C's under control. Maybe because I didn't have a lot of luck nursing any of my 3 kids (the longest I managed with any of them was 2 - 3 months with the boys, but my daughter slept through the night at a week and a half, and my system, rather than engorging, just said, "oh, you're done, then?", and shut down production. With any of them, it seemed that as soon as I got to where there were more than 6 hours or so between feedings, the supply rapidly dwindled to nothing. But at least my boobs remained fairly resilient, so there's that. And looking at the kids 25+ years later, formula doesn't seem to have done them any harm.

[Happyfatchick]

I have the big, saggy, heavy thing going on - with the added bonus of having Amish relatives for a reflective visual. They don't WEAR bras, and so they all have the big, saggy, heavy visual. All my aunts have (or had, God rest them) that classic boobs-touching-the -waist look. (My parents have artists charcoals of various Amish women, not relatives scattered throughout their home, and they ALLLLLL depict the books-touching-the-waist dress code).

Fortunately (or sadly?) I'm not Amish, but I have the look. But I don't get to wear the dress and cape to accentuate and wear it proudly. I have to wear normal clothes and deal. I'm semi seriously considering making my own bras. I'm very good with a sewing machine and I know what I want...

[lookeyloo]

Happy, have you considered a day trip to Kennesaw to visit Livy Rae Lingerie?  They used to have a show and they did specialize in challenging fittings and even made some custom bras. Maybe worth looking at at least once to get some basics.  The show was called Double Divas.  I am going to get there one of these days now that I am in the vicinity.  But I don't have the same issues a lot of you ladies have.  I just have an odd size, but I can manage to find it here and there and sometimes on line.  

[BrianJ62]

I have the big, saggy, heavy thing going on - with the added bonus of having Amish relatives for a reflective visual. They don't WEAR bras, and so they all have the big, saggy, heavy visual. All my aunts have (or had, God rest them) that classic boobs-touching-the -waist look. (My parents have artists charcoals of various Amish women, not relatives scattered throughout their home, and they ALLLLLL depict the books-touching-the-waist dress code).

Fortunately (or sadly?) I'm not Amish, but I have the look. But I don't get to wear the dress and cape to accentuate and wear it proudly. I have to wear normal clothes and deal. I'm semi seriously considering making my own bras. I'm very good with a sewing machine and I know what I want...

All women are beautiful, the only thing that could possibly make a woman un-beautiful is an ugly inner-rself

[Obsidian]

I wear underwire bras and don't notice the wire/find them suitably comfortable until the wire makes a hole in the fabric and sticks out. I absolutely get the straps falling down, though.

[crazycatlady58]

All women are beautiful, the only thing that could possibly make a woman un-beautiful is an ugly inner-rself

There is an old saying" Handsome is as handsome does".

[emma675]

I'm fine with underwire (I'm a 32 D) but I will admit I have a small scar on the side of one boob when a bra once tried to impale me. Somehow the end of the underwire came loose and stabbed me in the boob. 

[GeeGolly]

I employ underwires to hold my girls up as well. I'm fine until I get home and then all of a sudden I'm distracted by the discomfort. My straps work as hard as my underwires - absolutely no chance of a strap running rogue.

 

My bra puts in a full days work to keep the boobies saluting the sun and not nodding to the floor. It's definitely a love-hate relationship. 

[Almost 3000]

Death by Bra sounds like a possible episode of 1000 Ways to Die.

I've been side boob stabbed too. I think the damaged Wacoal bra hurt more than the stabbing. It was expensive, fit well and was pretty and sadly I found out no longer available.

[lookeyloo]

I'm fine with underwire (I'm a 32 D) but I will admit I have a small scar on the side of one boob when a bra once tried to impale me. Somehow the end of the underwire came loose and stabbed me in the boob.

That is my size too and I wear underwires. It isn't the easiest size to find in reasonably priced bras I have found.

[kathe5133]

My sisters always made fun of my ugly bras. They were made by Hanes and I purchased them at Wahlgreens, 7.99 each. They were were a discontinued model and Wahlgreens must have bought the lot. They were nothing fancy, but they held me up and were comfortable. I'm only a 38c, childless by choice, so they are a little more perky than your average 50 something, but I always looked good dressed. But when the sisters saw the bras I was wearing they laughed and teased. I didn't care. Then one sister got gastric bypass. Her boobs deflated and braless she resembled Carol Burnett as Norma Desmond (google it, it's a hoot!). Desperate, she borrowed one of my bras. Then she got it! She was the envy of all in her gastric bypass support group. They begged her for the secret! She shared. She traveled on business and made it a point to visit every Wahlgreens in every city with a list of the sizes of me and all her friends. Within a year I firmly believe we bought up all the surplus stock at Wahlgreens! When they wore out I searched. Lane Bryant makes a brand called "Cachique" that are comfy. They come with and without under wires. On line "womanwithin.com" makes several nice bras. Both LB and WW are about $50 and sometimes there are two for one sales. But my opinion of the little old "biddies" that staff most foundation stores is that they are clueless! They will sell you a bra that's too big, and pronounce it fine. I avoid them. If I must shop for a specialty bra in one of those stores they are usually frustrated because I refuse to listen to them. A bra is a personal thing. Only you know what works for you.

[GeeGolly]

My sisters always made fun of my ugly bras. They were made by Hanes and I purchased them at Wahlgreens, 7.99 each. They were were a discontinued model and Wahlgreens must have bought the lot. They were nothing fancy, but they held me up and were comfortable. I'm only a 38c, childless by choice, so they are a little more perky than your average 50 something, but I always looked good dressed. But when the sisters saw the bras I was wearing they laughed and teased. I didn't care. Then one sister got gastric bypass. Her boobs deflated and braless she resembled Carol Burnett as Norma Desmond (google it, it's a hoot!). Desperate, she borrowed one of my bras. Then she got it! She was the envy of all in her gastric bypass support group. They begged her for the secret! She shared. She traveled on business and made it a point to visit every Wahlgreens in every city with a list of the sizes of me and all her friends. Within a year I firmly believe we bought up all the surplus stock at Wahlgreens! When they wore out I searched. Lane Bryant makes a brand called "Cachique" that are comfy. They come with and without under wires. On line "womanwithin.com" makes several nice bras. Both LB and WW are about $50 and sometimes there are two for one sales. But my opinion of the little old "biddies" that staff most foundation stores is that they are clueless! They will sell you a bra that's too big, and pronounce it fine. I avoid them. If I must shop for a specialty bra in one of those stores they are usually frustrated because I refuse to listen to them. A bra is a personal thing. Only you know what works for you.

My mom always purchased the boxed Playtex Cross Your Heart bras. They did the job, but very utilitarian looking.

[kokapetl]

Please describe underwires. Why do bras have them, and why do women hate them?

Edited March 12, 2016 by Kokapetl

[Jellybeans]

I have two scars from two separate stabbings. I refuse to wear bras with underwires and when the "bra fitting experts" tell me I need the support that comes from underwire bras I not so proudly show them my two scars. I do not believe women have to have underwires to have proper support.

They can design bras for women that do not hurt. They haven't done so on a large, affordable scale. I remember once having a bathing suit top that fit better than my bra so I wore it as a bra... problem was it had a pattern so it was a problem under t-shirts and light fabrics. Sooooo....if they can make bathing suit tops fit right without wires, then bras should fall in line.

[Barb23]

Does anyone else have problems with the fabric of their bras pilling? I wear a Bali style (not underwire) I found on line & am very happy with the fit. I'm a 42/44B & finding that larger band size without the whole bra being huge& still looking nice is hard. But after wearing a few months, the sides started pilling, sometimes pulling up colored fibers of shirt I was wearing. (Maroon sweatshirt) I have the bras in a smooth fabric & jacquard type light fabric & different colors & all have same problem. The "pills" won't come off unless I spend all day cutting them off with nail scissors. I have always hand washed them so washing machine hasn't caused problem. I'll have to check out the on line reviews & see if anyone else had problem. But isn't that the way -you finally find something that fits & then it's discontinued or there's a problem with it.

I have a friend that goes to "the corset" shop, as she calls it, to have bras custom made for her. Very expensive but she couldn't find a comfortable bra that supported well anywhere else. I remember the Double Divas show. IIRC, they fit Abby Lee from the Dance Moms & that seems like a challenge.

[Jellybeans]

Please describe underwires. Why do bras have them, and why do women hate them?

They are wires that are about 1/4 inch wide in a half moon shape sewn inside bras on the bottom of the cup. I hate them because they pinch, strangle, poke holes in my skin over time, feel like wires (!!!!!!!!) encasing my boobs and they are painful. Maybe they hurt some women more than others if they have larger girls, I don't know.

Our boobs don't like to be told where to GO. They need support, not cages.

[GeeGolly]

Please describe underwires. Why do bras have them, and why do women hate them?

Underwires are sort of U-shaped hard wires that is sewn into a bra at the bottom of the cup. The wires kind of push the breast up so they look less saggy. We hate them cuz who the hell wants to wear a garment with metal sewn into it. They can cause discomfort after a long day. They can break free of the fabric and stab you. They were obviously designed by a man. (no offense)

Edited March 12, 2016 by GeeGolly

[crazycatlady58]

Does anyone else have problems with the fabric of their bras pilling? I wear a Bali style (not underwire) I found on line & am very happy with the fit. I'm a 42/44B & finding that larger band size without the whole bra being huge& still looking nice is hard. But after wearing a few months, the sides started pilling, sometimes pulling up colored fibers of shirt I was wearing. (Maroon sweatshirt) I have the bras in a smooth fabric & jacquard type light fabric & different colors & all have same problem. The "pills" won't come off unless I spend all day cutting them off with nail scissors. I have always hand washed them so washing machine hasn't caused problem. I'll have to check out the on line reviews & see if anyone else had problem. But isn't that the way -you finally find something that fits & then it's discontinued or there's a problem with it.

I have a friend that goes to "the corset" shop, as she calls it, to have bras custom made for her. Very expensive but she couldn't find a comfortable bra that supported well anywhere else. I remember the Double Divas show. IIRC, they fit Abby Lee from the Dance Moms & that seems like a challenge.

Barb would you mind p.m.ing me with the brand you buy? I have the same problem, big ribcage, but small cup size.

[GeeGolly]

Please describe underwires. Why do bras have them, and why do women hate them?

[kokapetl]

I didn't think boobs would slide down your body, but what do I know!

[emma675]

I actually don't mind underwires, but I do hate the fact that the straps dig into my shoulders by the end of the day. The best bras I ever bought were from Bare Necessities (where they pretty much manhandle you and have you try on dozens of bras to find your perfect size), but they are pretty expensive.

[lookeyloo]

If the bra fits right it shouldn't dig into your shoulders - mine stay up pretty well. Been fitted. Underwires have never bothered me. Susan Nethero started the My Intimacy shops and has been on tv. I got fitted there and learned a lot how a bra should fit. And some places when they don't have my size try to talk me into bigger band smaller cup. Most people wear too big a band and too small a cup. Anyway YMMV and I have finally found a solution that works for me.

Story - Susan was on Oprah years ago showing women in right/wrong bras and showed the bra that Oprah wore to harness her massive "girls". My daughter in law has nursed her 3 children for a year each and had very floppy large boobs. One day she went to Nordstrom for a fitting and when she got home I noticed immediately her boobs were up where they should have been. She was thrilled. She still wears that kind of bra. It is comfortable and doesn't dig into her shoulders. She is not a skinny minny.

[Happyfatchick]

I didn't think boobs would slide down your body, but what do I know!

 oh Koka, honey, they aren't sliding down our bodies. It's gravity. Damn that Newton! No "sliding", that's just where they GO. Think jelly-filled balloons. In my family, the big saggy thing is a birth curse. EVERY ONE of us have (mine appeared like magic in 8th grade!!!) big, saggy, hanging, heavy balloons. So the BRA has to have a cup size appropriate for gathering all that shapeless jello and holding it in some sort of happy place, and the band (including the underwire) has the job of keeping all that weighted mess somewhere north of a belly button. If I had boobs that were full and perky, I wouldn't complain so much about the size. 

I employ underwires to hold my girls up as well. I'm fine until I get home and then all of a sudden I'm distracted by the discomfort.

EXACTLY!!! This happens to me, too! (Well, not just the underwire - which I decline thankyouverymuch), but any bra. I get dressed and take off thru my day, run my errands, work, do what I have on my list (well.... I NEVER complete my list...). But at some point in the early evening, I get positively CLAUSTROPHOBIC about the bra! Like I will choke to DEATH if I don't get out of this thing THIS MINUTE. Which means if you show up at my house in the morning (like say the exterminator, or the carpet cleaner a couple months ago), you have an excellent chance of seeing my discarded bras wherever I happened to be when the claustrophobic moment set in. (The arm of the couch for the carpet guy, the dining room table for the exterminator). Heeeeee!!!