Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[ChocolateAddict]

Thanks for checking in wanderwoman.  Wish that there was something I could do.  

[amitville]

Checking in from hospital. Maisie and I need up but we are hanging in.

Thank you for checking in.  I have been worried about you and our Maisie, ffhugs kisses and love to you my sweet friend our Maisie and daddy

[emma675]

Hang in there, wander! If nothing else, I hope you can feel the love, support and prayers coming from a lot of people here.

[Love2dance]

WANDERWOMAN, thank you so much for checking in with us. You are in our thoughts so often, and it is good to know you are receiving our love, hugs, and healing thoughts.

SUZ AT LARGE, your life is full for sure. So sorry about your family vacation plan and your terminal relative. But the "overseas" trip sounds heavenly. Thanks for sharing.

[Wok Chop]

Suz, I'm not offended. We are dealing with some difficult times in my own family. At the same time, I feel grateful that we are in a better position to deal with these things than we were a year ago. Life is is all kinds of bittersweet. I don't post much, but I have been following everyone's ups and downs, and my wish for each of you who are struggling is peace and healing.

[Jellybeans]

Thank you for checking in wanderwoman, we understand. I think of you often.

Personally I am having a hard time with LIFE. Pfft.

[amitville]

Thank you for checking in wanderwoman, we understand. I think of you often.

Personally I am having a hard time with LIFE. Pfft.

Jellybeans wish i could take away the hard times but i can only send (((((((((((((((((((fhugs))))))))))))))))))  and kisses.

[NEGirl]

Suz - I am so sorry to hear about your loved one. Parkinson's is such a terrible disease that does not get the attention others diseases do. I know the stress involved  with a sick loved one - my Mom was in a nursing home for 8 years before passing from  strokes(which put her there).

I hope the family member does not suffer too much now that they are in hospice care - they were wonderful with my Mom. Peace to you, your loved one, and your family.

I am so happy you will be able to take what sounds like a terrific vacation - report back to us and have a great time.

Edited August 10, 2015 by NEGirl

[Seashell Lover]

Please help need advice. I just got off the phone with social services and they took custody of my unborn daughters baby. They said the kids will be terminated from their parents and I have first crack of adopting all 3. I am scared will it be the right thing to do at my age 3 yrs. away from 60? I know we will really have a lot of rough times but their will also be good times. So what do all my friends think I should do.

[kokapetl]

Please help need advice. I just got off the phone with social services and they took custody of my unborn daughters baby. They said the kids will be terminated from their parents and I have first crack of adopting all 3. I am scared will it be the right thing to do at my age 3 yrs. away from 60? I know we will really have a lot of rough times but their will also be good times. So what do all my friends think I should do.

Social Services know it's in the child's best interest to be placed with family, and it's the easiest option for them, also, I assume that's why they called you first. Do you want to take the child? Will Social Services support you financially?

[Seashell Lover]

Social Services know it's in the child's best interest to be placed with family, and it's the easiest option for them, also, I assume that's why they called you first. Do you want to take the child? Will Social Services support you financially?

Of course I want soon to be 3 grandkids and no once I adopt no support not that I am getting any now.

[Ilovemylabs]

Of course I want soon to be 3 grandkids and no once I adopt no support not that I am getting any now.

Perhaps you could become their legal foster mother.  Then you would get help from social services.

[kokapetl]

Perhaps you could become their legal foster mother. Then you would get help from social services.

I'm not a lawyer, and I strongly suggest you consult one if you can, but assuming you are considered to be a fit parent, and if you are already the legal parent of the baby's siblings, it's likely that placing the baby with you will be the recommended option in a foster arrangement.

If the baby is made available for regular adoption, I don't know. Ring legal aid organizations, law schools etc for advice.

Edited August 10, 2015 by Kokapetl

[kokapetl]

Of course I want soon to be 3 grandkids and no once I adopt no support not that I am getting any now.

Just to clarify, the other children are currently in your custody in a kinship care arrangement, and you receive no child support or child welfare from county/state/federal government? What county/city in CO do you live in?

[Love2dance]

JELLYBEANS, wishing I could give you more comfort than cyber hugs and good thoughts, too.

[Love2dance]

Please help need advice. I just got off the phone with social services and they took custody of my unborn daughters baby. They said the kids will be terminated from their parents and I have first crack of adopting all 3. I am scared will it be the right thing to do at my age 3 yrs. away from 60? I know we will really have a lot of rough times but their will also be good times. So what do all my friends think I should do.

Oh my, Seashell Lover, what a dilemma.  I have a good friend who is also ready to retire, but is adopting her 3rd child from her drug dependent daughter.  She does have a partner to support her, and they love the children dearly (6, 3 and newborn), but is there any end in sight? I wish I could advise you.  Follow your heart and resources.  Sending hugs and support whatever your decision.

[Julia]

I think that whoever told you there would be no support from the state might have been trying to make their own life easier. If you're considering this, please get do some research on what resources you have available. I think it's more than they're telling you.

[Seashell Lover]

I think that whoever told you there would be no support from the state might have been trying to make their own life easier. If you're considering this, please get do some research on what resources you have available. I think it's more than they're telling you.

I know all the services I can choose to use but I do not want to due to the fact that if I used any for the money like tanf ie welfare the ss agency will be micromanaging my life and me and the kids do not need them in our life like that.

I'm not a lawyer, and I strongly suggest you consult one if you can, but assuming you are considered to be a fit parent, and if you are already the legal parent of the baby's siblings, it's likely that placing the baby with you will be the recommended option in a foster arrangement.

If the baby is made available for regular adoption, I don't know. Ring legal aid organizations, law schools etc for advice.

They have already told me I am first choice for the baby.

[kokapetl]

I know all the services I can choose to use but I do not want to due to the fact that if I used any for the money like tanf ie welfare the ss agency will be micromanaging my life and me and the kids do not need them in our life like that.

They have already told me I am first choice for the baby.

It might be a difficult adjustment at first, but you may be overestimating how nit picky Welfare officials will be with the foster care payments. They know there's very few foster homes available for three siblings, including an infant and an adolescent boy, and that means there's a buttload of work they'll need to do if you quit.

[Micks Picks]

My heart goes out to you Seashell Lover.  I have known of a couple of these situations, and the kids just keep pumping out more kids, until finally adoption is the only choice.  That has turned out to be ok, since the grandparents were updated by the adoptive parents, and the babies got great homes.  Age of you and your husband work against you seeing them to age 18 or 20, and then there are the finances.  You know it's a problem.  How long can you work to provide?  How about health?  There must be an end point, and I'd really consider adoption for this baby and any to come.  It's really hard, but give it some reality checks.  This is the best time to make that decision.

[Happyfatchick]

I need some help too:

I need a good book (or 2 or 6 or 10). Somebody tell me a good book you've read lately!

[JenCarroll]

Seashell Lover, I thought you were already planning to keep the boys. Is that right? It seems like you're doing very well with them. So the question is whether to take the new baby also, or let it be placed out for adoption? Is SS insisting that the three siblings stay together, or do you have the option of adopting the boys and allowing the new baby to be placed elsewhere?

[JenCarroll]

I need some help too:I need a good book (or 2 or 6 or 10). Somebody tell me a good book you've read lately!

Oh, thank you for posing a dilemma we can actually help with! :-) What sorts of books do you usually like?

DD1 gave me Howl's Moving Castle, World War Z, and Night Circus for my birthday. I haven't read Night Circus yet but my daughters both loved it; I can recommend the other two. Also, everything by the Irish author Maeve Binchy. She passed away recently, but she left us a large number of novels and several short story collections that could keep you happily occupied for a while. (My favorites are Circle of Friends, Evening Class, and Scarlet Feather.) If you've already read those, let me know and I'll have a look through our various bookcases and kindle libraries. We're a family of voracious readers, we can definitely come up with some ideas.

[Sew Sumi]

Happy, I'm re-reading the Outlander series. It's totally pleasure reading, but you will get a good lesson of Scottish history in the meantime. Other than that? I tend to stick to the classics, but that does include modern-day ones. I was an English major, so I should really try to branch out more to be a better representative of my Tribe. LOL

[Seashell Lover]

Seashell Lover, I thought you were already planning to keep the boys. Is that right? It seems like you're doing very well with them. So the question is whether to take the new baby also, or let it be placed out for adoption? Is SS insisting that the three siblings stay together, or do you have the option of adopting the boys and allowing the new baby to be placed elsewhere?

I am keeping the 2 boys and I have first choice if I want to adopt 2 or all 3. There is no way in hell I will not be adopting all 3. Also I got no husband I got rid of him 24 wonderful years ago.

[Happyfatchick]

I am keeping the 2 boys and I have first choice if I want to adopt 2 or all 3. There is no way in hell I will not be adopting all 3. Also I got no husband I got rid of him 24 wonderful years ago.

So... I'm not sure what kinds of thoughts you were asking for.  Seems like your mind is made up.  Or maybe there's more information you'd like to share.  Are you receiving some state assistance as a foster parent now that you would likely lose if you adopt?  That's a major consideration if so.  Because babies are not inexpensive family members.  Babies are a whole different commitment level (IMO) than the older boys.  And if you don't choose to adopt, can you apply for "foster" assistance from the state?  I know you were given custody, but is that as a family member or as a foster parent?  Babies cry often, and often for no apparent reason, and often when everybody else wants to sleep.  (And the boys will still have to be seen after in the mornings whether you've slept or not).  Babies have to be cared or 24/7 - no school or anything for a break.  And have to be taught everything from the ground up. 

 

Although, like you, I tend to believe the siblings should be raised together.  (On the flip side, the boys won't have memories of having a sibling if she's removed right away).  For me, a grandchild is an extension of myself and my children.  I wouldn't allow someone else to raise my grandchild if I could prevent it in any way.  But that's ME, and the "right" answer for me may not be the right one for you at all.

 

I'm also curious how your daughter is dealing with all this?  Do you continue to have some sort of relationship with her?  Is she allowed visitation with the boys?  How did you come to have custody in the first place?  I know you said she was an extreme fundamental, but that usually leads to raised eyebrows, not child removal.  Was she neglectful as well?

[JenCarroll]

I am keeping the 2 boys and I have first choice if I want to adopt 2 or all 3. There is no way in hell I will not be adopting all 3. Also I got no husband I got rid of him 24 wonderful years ago.

Well, it sounds like you know what you're going to do. It's a long road, but then you know that already, you've been down it before. My only advice is, think about who you'd want them to go to if the worst should happen, and then make a will that includes that information. Then you can put that aside and focus on all the joy that's coming your way with a brand baby. :-)

When I was in high school I absolutely loved baby-sitting, and would do it for free for one particular family that just needed the help. Nowadays kids can possibly use something like that for their community service credits for religious education or to make themselves look good on their college applications. You might ask around for someone like that -- because sometimes you just need a break.

[Happyfatchick]

Thanks for the book recommends so far. I loooove to read, but I work from home, and like everyone else who attempts that, work trumps anything I do for pleasure. That means that a book needs to grab me so I don't forget what's going on before I can get back to it, because sometimes it's days in between. I don't do romance, although if someone falls in love while the book is happening, I'm ok with that. Steamy sex scenes in a book make me snort. No 50 shades. I've read so much based during WWII, that's where Kindle automatically takes me when I'm browsing. Every now and then, I love a book written with humor. (I read everything Liane Moriarty). Anna Quindlen, Kingsolver, Bojalian, Anne Tyler, Wally Lamb. These are authors I've read everything they ever wrote. Oh, and also Kaye Gibbons (she got me with Ellen Foster).

Favorite books that haven't had a "follow up" read to compete:

the Woman Upstairs (Claire Messud)

the History of Love (Nicole Krauss)

The Girl on the Train

Defending Jacob

We Need to Talk About Kevin

I still love what, to me personally, were classics. Cold Sassy Tree. Peace Like a River. A Painted House. (I dearly, dearly love a really good book written from a child's perspective). Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man. To Kill a Mockingbird - and although I've hovered over and wanted to touch the new release by Harper Lee, I can't make myself pick it up or download it because Atticus can't be tampered with at this late date. I swallowed up all the Wendell Berry books, and need to own the collection. I've read (and own) everything Steinbeck, even the unmemorable ones (can't even count the number of times I've read Cannery Row and East of Eden).

Wow, even to ME, I'm all over the map. I guess my taste is eclectic in books, as in everything else. I will say this: a few years ago, my friends daughter tried to get me into those Elvis the dog books. Hated them. (I guess there is a limit).

[Wellfleet]

I need some help too:

I need a good book (or 2 or 6 or 10). Somebody tell me a good book you've read lately!

 

I'm a biography and history geek. Currently in my bedroom I'm reading David McCullough's 1776 and in my tote I have Sudden Sea, by RA Scotti, a story about the great New England hurricane of 1938, which I learned about while watching C-SPAN's weekend programming, Book TV. I'm also one of those who reads cookbooks - yes, reads them, cover to cover - and I'm currently drooling through Lidia Bastianich's Common-Sense Italian Cooking. But if you haven't already read it and are just looking for a really good story told really well, a can't-put-it-down read, go get yourself Daphne duMaurier's Rebecca. You won't regret it.

[NEGirl]

Wellfleet - Thanks for those recommendations. I think I will go to my local library and check them out. I love David McCullough and have read many of his books. I also thought of buying the new book by Harper Lee but, decided not to. Even though I know this was written before TKM, I just felt it was better to leave well enough alone so to speak.  And, I love watching Lidia cook. I will have to check out that cook book.

[Jenniferbug]

If you like mysteries, I recommend novels by Tana French. She writes a sort of series about detectives in the police department of the Irish murder squad. There's some carryover of characters from book to book but otherwise are fairly self contained. My personal favorite is called The Likeness, which is second in the series. It does reference events from the first book in the series but you could read it and follow without having read the first book (the first is my least favorite and not as well written so I advise skipping it till you're sure you like her style).

I used to read all the time but with 2 little ones it's tough to find the time these days!

[amitville]

Please help need advice. I just got off the phone with social services and they took custody of my unborn daughters baby. They said the kids will be terminated from their parents and I have first crack of adopting all 3. I am scared will it be the right thing to do at my age 3 yrs. away from 60? I know we will really have a lot of rough times but their will also be good times. So what do all my friends think I should do.

Miss Seashell yes take custody of the unborn baby, Your grandsons are thriving in your care and from what i am reading never been happier.  Age is a number and i believe you can provide the most important thing to your family love.  

[Ilovemylabs]

Miss Seashell yes take custody of the unborn baby, Your grandsons are thriving in your care and from what i am reading never been happier.  Age is a number and i believe you can provide the most important thing to your family love.  

If the boys are older they can also be of some help with the new baby.  I'm sure they want to keep their family together.  God bless you and good luck!

[Satchels of gold]

I am keeping the 2 boys and I have first choice if I want to adopt 2 or all 3. There is no way in hell I will not be adopting all 3. Also I got no husband I got rid of him 24 wonderful years ago.

Well I think you have your answer. As an adoptive mother myself I wish you the best of everything in this world.

[Ilovemylabs]

I need some help too:

I need a good book (or 2 or 6 or 10). Somebody tell me a good book you've read lately!

I loved Gone Girl.  Also Angelology and Angelopolis by Danielle Trussoni.  Love the 'Alex Delaware" series of mysteries by Jonathan Kellerman, the "Rina Lazarus and Peter Decker" series by his wife Faye Kellerman.  Recently began reading a series of books by Paul Doiron about a Maine game warden (also mysteries).  If you like historical romances, anything by Mary Balogh is great.  Or you could read MY books (on Amazon).  They are Regency romances.  PM me for my name, if interested!  Happy reading!

[allonsyalice]

I need some help too:

I need a good book (or 2 or 6 or 10). Somebody tell me a good book you've read lately!

I haven't been able to start this, but if you're into nonficition (and even if you aren't) I suggest True Story by Michael Finkel. Long story short--someone stole his identity and did some awful things. I've heard its VERY compelling, I've just been so busy i dont even know where my own copy is.

[Liz Tudor]

Hello! I'm sorry, I feel like I'm interrupting, but I wanted to make a quick introduction. I was a longtime lurker over at TWoP, and made the jump here when PTV got started. I created an account then, but still mainly lurked. I have enjoyed following y'all, and never really commented, because everyone else said what I thought,(but in a more humerous and well-written way) with regard to our favorite fundie family.

Chiming in on the book recommendations (I love to read; English major & librarian): Happyfatchick, I also thought I'd OD'ed on WWII stories and when someone recommended "All the Light We Cannot See" by Anthony Doerr, I really didn't want to read it. Well, now I'm hooked. It's about a teen girl in France and a teen boy in Germany and their respective lives in the years leading up to and during WWII. The chapters are small (2-5 pages) and it's very easy to tell the switch from one character's storyline to the other. The book won this year's Pulitzer. I'm right at the halfway mark, but enjoying it immensely. He weaves great plotlines.

I'm also 2/3 through "Go Set a Watchman." I am also worried about how this might impact my love for the characters in "Mockingbird," but it's been interesting to see a grown up Jean Louise return to Maycomb. It's soooo autobiographical. I highly recommend Nell Lee's unauthorized bio, "Mockingbird," by Chas. Shield. It's the best we're ever going to get, since she won't talk to anyone (though the author stood in her presence a couple of times-- once she slamed a door in his face!). I believe it to be factual and honest, because he lays out who he talked to and their relationship to her.

I also love Kaye Gibbons, my favorite by her is "Charms For The Easy Life." Others to recommend: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, any by Mary Kay Andrews if you want a fun beach/escape read, and "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave. My "genre rut" is historical fiction. From that I can recommend "The Heretic's Daughter" and "The Traitor's Wife" by Kathleen Kent. The other genre I can't get enough of is fantasy/paranormal, so If you're into that kind of thing (even if you're not) the All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness is great (there's a love story, but it happens along the way). I spent the summer reading over 2,000 pages of the Mayfair Witch Trilogy by Anne Rice...I've read countless witch/vampire/demon authors and had NEVER read her! Anyway, I have a very eclectic reading list, but I will read just about anything, as long as it is well written. I've only given up on a handful of books. Happy reading, and thanks for contributing to my growing "to read" list!

[Jynnan tonnix]

If you like fantasy at all, I recommend The Name of the Wind and Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss...though be forewarned that they are the first two books in a planned trilogy, have no real "ends" (the story told in the book is basically narrated over three days, and the end of the day is the only actual reason each book ends when it does) which can get a bit frustrating after the author has dragged his heels on the last book over the course of five or six years (though I do think the last book is actually supposed to happen next year).

 

They are hard to describe...the friend who first got me into them said they were like "Harry Potter on steroids", but though a big part of the story takes place at a University for those with magical abilities, these abilities are so realistically presented, with such internal logic, that disbelief barely has to be suspended. And I just love the way he writes...some passages really read like poetry.

 

My daughter loves them as well, though I have yet to convince my son to do so. He said he read a few pages and there were "too many commas", and he hated the style. To each their own. I guess lol...Anyway, they are good, meaty books at some 800-900 pages each, so they don't end just as you are getting warmed up. In fact, the first one, I would say you have to get a good 150 pages in before it all starts coming together and really sucks you in...if you don't get that far, you might likely put it down without finishing.

 

Edited to add, Welcome Liz Tudor...my daughter was also an English major and is currently working on her Master's in Library Sciences, so I'm always interested in "meeting" librarians now :)

Edited August 11, 2015 by Jynnan tonnix

[Jenniferbug]

Oh, I also recommend novels by Kate Morton. My favorite is The Forgotten Garden. Her plots are a bit historical fiction, a bit mystery, and a bit family drama.

[Jynnan tonnix]

I've read a couple of the Kate Mortons as well, and enjoyed them. Picked up The Forgotten Garden at a used book store on a whim, and when I saw The House at Riverton there on my next trip I picked that up as well. I'll have to check out her others.

[Seashell Lover]

So... I'm not sure what kinds of thoughts you were asking for.  Seems like your mind is made up.  Or maybe there's more information you'd like to share.  Are you receiving some state assistance as a foster parent now that you would likely lose if you adopt?  That's a major consideration if so.  Because babies are not inexpensive family members.  Babies are a whole different commitment level (IMO) than the older boys.  And if you don't choose to adopt, can you apply for "foster" assistance from the state?  I know you were given custody, but is that as a family member or as a foster parent?  Babies cry often, and often for no apparent reason, and often when everybody else wants to sleep.  (And the boys will still have to be seen after in the mornings whether you've slept or not).  Babies have to be cared or 24/7 - no school or anything for a break.  And have to be taught everything from the ground up. 

 

Although, like you, I tend to believe the siblings should be raised together.  (On the flip side, the boys won't have memories of having a sibling if she's removed right away).  For me, a grandchild is an extension of myself and my children.  I wouldn't allow someone else to raise my grandchild if I could prevent it in any way.  But that's ME, and the "right" answer for me may not be the right one for you at all.

 

I'm also curious how your daughter is dealing with all this?  Do you continue to have some sort of relationship with her?  Is she allowed visitation with the boys?  How did you come to have custody in the first place?  I know you said she was an extreme fundamental, but that usually leads to raised eyebrows, not child removal.  Was she neglectful as well?

My daughter and SIL have no contact I got custody not only because of Fundie but they were abused physically mentally emotionally possible sex abuse and living off the grid. 

[kokapetl]

My daughter and SIL have no contact I got custody not only because of Fundie but they were abused physically mentally emotionally possible sex abuse and living off the grid.

Seems unusual that the county is making arrangements to have the child removed from it's parents before it's even born.

Keep in mind that I'm very cynical, but the county may be trying to shift and end it's current and ongoing responsibilities to the children onto you if they're trying to change the arrangement from wards of the state in foster/kinship care to adoption.

Edited August 11, 2015 by Kokapetl

[questionfear]

Seashell, good luck-I think you're doing the right thing and you're being a great grandma and guardian to those kiddos.

 

So I have to share something you'll all appreciate. I have an Android phone and use Google Now quite often. One of the features is that it aggregates stories from around the web that you might find interesting, and sometimes it tells you in italics why it thought you'd like it. Lately, I've been getting a ton of Duggar stories, and Google says "you've shown interest in Jim Bob Duggar".

 

Now that Google thinks I've "shown interest" in Jim Bob, I have to go bleach my search history. 

[Liz Tudor]

 Now that Google thinks I've "shown interest" in Jim Bob, I have to go bleach my search history.

LOL! Pretty sure the Prayer Closet is stocked with Eye Bleach and Brain Bleach, but now we need to make a Costco run to get Search Bleach!

[Seashell Lover]

Seems unusual that the county is making arrangements to have the child removed from it's parents before it's even born.

Keep in mind that I'm very cynical, but the county may be trying to shift and end it's current and ongoing responsibilities to the children onto you if they're trying to change the arrangement from wards of the state in foster/kinship care to adoption.

The county is being proactive with the baby. I do not know if she ever got shots or medical care for my 2 grandsons and she said she wanted to have the new baby in the wilderness so at least she is being forced to get medical care for this one. 

[Satchels of gold]

Wow seashell lover what a mess! My daughter was born in the dessert steppes of Central Asia and had better healthcare and records then your grand kids...it really does boggle the mind. Is there any fear (or hope) that bio mom will try to get back in the picture? After years of searching I found my daughters bio mom and I'm now helping to support her and her two sons . I should mention she didn't ask for money, but I have come to love her like a second daughter and want her to have a better life. Her inability to parent were due to cultural/ religious reasons and she is a wonderful mother to her two children.

[emma675]

Seashell, whatever you decide will be the right thing for you and those kiddos. You've already shown those boys more hope and love than they've probably ever seen in their entire lives. I would definitely check out some kind of legal aid, though, there are probably all kinds of programs/funds/grants that could help you out.

 

Book-wise, I would recommend Judy Blume's new one, "In the Unlikely Event". It was a fun, surprisingly emotional read.

 

I refuse to read "Go Set a Watchman" because I will not allow my love for TKaM to be destroyed. Plus, I've heard there were some squirrely dealings going on behind the scenes to get it published and no one can say for sure whether Harper Lee wanted it done or not.

[amitville]

Wow seashell lover what a mess! My daughter was born in the dessert steppes of Central Asia and had better healthcare and records then your grand kids...it really does boggle the mind. Is there any fear (or hope) that bio mom will try to get back in the picture? After years of searching I found my daughters bio mom and I'm now helping to support her and her two sons . I should mention she didn't ask for money, but I have come to love her like a second daughter and want her to have a better life. Her inability to parent were due to cultural/ religious reasons and she is a wonderful mother to her two children.

 You are a amazing women, may God bless you

[kokapetl]

The county is being proactive with the baby. I do not know if she ever got shots or medical care for my 2 grandsons and she said she wanted to have the new baby in the wilderness so at least she is being forced to get medical care for this one.

I guess if the pair haven't changed their ways, the previous determination on their fitness as parents still stands.

I really think you should pursue Foster Care Reimbursement, and any other welfare available. Worst case scenario seems to be that your application will be denied, or it'll be revoked at some point, but in either of those cases, it's highly likely you'll be no worse off than you are at the moment.

[amitville]

Book wise my favorite book is The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult.. I also read World war 2  survivor stories