S11.E05: Bend & Break

[Chewy101]

This was just bad. Great acting, but damn.

Meredith and Callie turning to tequila shots was pathetic, really. It was cute a decade ago when they were all young and didn't have families to take care of, but now it seemed like a lousy way to deal with their problems. Grow UP. (And why haven't Dick and Meredith ever tried therapy??) I am disappointed that Callie did several tequila shots and had a good day at work and suddenly she found fighting for her marriage too tedious to pursue. Just as sad was Arizona having an unstable day at work and NO tequila and she realized being single might be too scary to endure. They are both too self absorbed in their pain to even let the therapy do its thing. I kind of wanted to see a couple battle their way to healthy instead of imploding, but I should know better.

 

Callie is the most pathetic, needy person I have ever seen. Since the days of George, she has been INCAPABLE of being alone. No character has whined more about missing sex and needing a warm body next to her around the clock. She used Mark on a regular basis for surrogate love. There is faithful and loving, and then there is co-dependent. Callie is no good for anyone because she needs to be needed too damn much. I love the character, but I am SICK of all of her relationships.

 

Arizona is a brat, but only a brat could live with the vortex of need that is Callie and still remain somewhat intact. I was actually in agreement with AZ when she told Callie not to come to Africa. There was NO WAY that was going to work and she and Mark both knew it before Callie did. Callie just impulsively agreed to go because she can't be alone. She later proved that by banging Mark soon as AZ was on the plane. So, although I'm not sure Callie and AZ were ideal for each other, without them both dealing with their crap, no one else could date them either.

 

I resent that both women ignored all advice and rules from their chosen therapist, and then called the month a successful run. Callie doesn't listen to anyone anymore than Arizona does. They both just sucked. Game over.

A separation while sharing a house, though? Talk about plot device. Poor Sophia. That is wretched unhealthy. They were instructed not to speak to one another and the kid won't notice? And stupid Callie could not go a DAY before she made Arizona the bad guy for staying silent. Blech, these two are so unstable.

 

Much as I like Geena Davis' character, her face is painful to look at. Why did she have to ruin her pretty pretty face. Just let yourself age, Geena! You think this look is a better one?

 

I don't even care if Callie and Owen get together. Callie will date anything that moves, and Owen could use some happy in his life. I don't think he is a bad guy. I know he cheated on Christina, but Christina checked out at times, too. She just used surgery to fill all the holes in her marriage where Owen used a woman. Christina herself admitted she is the cheating type as well, that she could see it happening under certain circumstances. The important thing is they worked through it- it can't be brought up every time anything else happens. Mistakes that are confessed have to be forgiven and left behind. Unlike Arizona's defensiveness and justifications for her infidelity, Owen was flat out horrified and sorry from day one and never wavered on his own guilt. He actually repented, and I doubt he would do it again. Arizona stills seems unclear on where she did wrong.

 

So what the heck. Let needy pathetic Callie seek solace in Owen (the new Mark), and then they can get pregnant and Callie and Owen's baby can play with Avery and Kepner's baby and the show can be some stupid romper room disaster. I'm afraid Jo will get knocked up as well (for a show about doctor's few of them seem to understand the ins and outs of birth control). I want so much more for Alex's character than a stupid I'm Not Ready To Be a Daddy But Then My Girlfriend Got Pregnant and I saw My Child For The First Time And Everything Changed cliche story line. Save that stuff for Callie's victims. Alex has a hospital to run!

 

So, surprise me, Shonda. Hook Callie up yet again, because we know she can't do single, and make me believe in Callie/Owen love. What the hell. You have jumped bigger sharks. 

Edited October 25, 2014 by Chewy101

[Frankie5Angels]

Callie and Arizona need to be alone for a very long time. Neither of them should be sleeping with anyone else, dating anyone else, or in any sort of romantic relationship. 

 

Callie needs to do the following:

 

1. Learn to be on her own again. Last season she discovered that their half-assed attempts at fixing their marriage sucked the joy out of her life. She danced in her underwear and reconnected with friends. She should get back on that path.

 

2. Keep cultivating FRIENDSHIPS. I loved her relationship with Meredith and Derek last season. They were interesting, funny, and they allowed her to shine as a mom and a doctor. Though it was totally irresponsible of her to be out getting turnt up with Meredith, I guess we have to accept that that is what they do and roll with the fun. It was fun to see their friendship again.

 

3. Focusing on her career and being the good doctor she is. I liked her mentoring Jo because Callie's never had a disciple and it made Jo more interesting because she had more to do than being Alex's girlfriend. Callie did that last season and I don't want to hear her saying she can't.

 

4. Be a mom to the kid she has.*

 

5. Go to therapy and work out her many issues; take prescribed meds.

 

Arizona should:

 

1. Stay out of any romantic relationships. Last year we saw her pick up a new jump off and that did absolutely nothing to improve her state of mind, make any genuine progress in her life, or help her relationship skills. 

 

2. Keep cultivating her friendship with April and revive the great friend/mentor relationship she had with Alex. Their relationships were interesting, funny, and let us see the good side of Arizona. 

 

3. Focus on her fellowship. She's an excellent doctor and has always been professional, skilled, and a good teacher. Maybe Shonda will let Arizona be great and show us that side of her again. (Doubtful).

 

4. Parent the child she has.*

 

5. Go to therapy and take medication.

 

If Callie gets with Owen, I'm out and I don't think it would be realistic for Arizona to be with her again. Arizona was already insecure about Callie being with men, so that would just put them at the point of no return. Arizona would be right not to take her back after that because it's an issue between them that we can't really see going away. Fortunately, Owen can't knock Callie up because, despite them both having aching wombs, neither of them can carry a baby. Callie says she wants to love herself and, if that's true, getting with Owen would pretty much be the opposite of that. They are both hung up on other women, Owen is abusive, he's a liar, and he's a cheater. She should not leave one relationship with someone like that only to enter into another one. 

 

That therapist was terrible! Why would you tell a couple to give one another the silent treatment when they live in the same house with a child. Kids can sense those sorts of things. That sort of thing only breeds resentment in a relationship. Maybe if one of them gets lung cancer, they'll go to an oncologist who recommends they start smoking two packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day too!

 

Arizona and Callie are out here taking L's left and right because they are both being basic. Let them be apart, regrow the parts of themselves we liked about them, and regrow the good parts of their relationship. I know that the good parts have been so few and far between that it's almost impossible to remember, but, since I've resigned myself to Shonda putting them back together for a number of reasons, so let us hope she will make their make up cohesive and not annoying. (She won't)

 

I was so glad that the Puzzle Whisperer and her stalker ways were not in this episode. Poor Avery has pretty much been relegated to quarrels over board issues while everyone else is operating and doing doctor stuff. Stephanie has lost her relevance on the show which is a shame because I like her. I wish Alex could be paired with a grown up.

 

* I will make an exception for getting drunk with Bailey because she's an excellent drunk who focuses on fistulas and pancreaseses. 

[2KllMckngBrd]

Hooray for Hollywood. Thank you. I know it won't last. I know they will get back together. That's how Greys works. But hooray for Hollywood. I hated "Calzone/a". It never made any sense to me. For either one.

 

I have had a problem ever since the hospital shooting. Callie wants a baby. Arizona doesn't. We might die, so fine Arizona will do the kid thing because she wants Callie, but still doesn't actually want a kid. Then Arizona goes to Africa. When she comes back presto-change Mark baby. They have never been in synch. Never on the same page at the same time. So I am completely ok w/a breakup. Just be great parents to Sophia.

 

So we have now had a very special Maggie, Ellis, and Callie/Arizona...who's got next?

[Chewy101]

In regards to Callie not being with Owen because he is "a cheater," I don't see that as a factor at all.

In my opinion, Christina and Owen were nothing but chemistry. They were so different fundamentally that it would never work, which is why half their marriage was spent not talking and just having sex all the time. They were lousy together (although very hot), so his cheating on that pathetic unfulfilled relationship doesn't exactly surprise me. There wasn't much to be faithful for. I was mad when he did it but I wasn't surprised. They were never going to work. And once he made amends, I can see why Christina could move on and get over that part of it. The marriage was still doomed, but they worked through the infidelity like grown-ups.

Punishing someone forever for a single event that happened half a decade ago seems extreme. A single event does not necessarily define a person forever. Meredith and Derek cheated on Addison and the vet boyfriend at the Chief's niece's prom. Yet we are supposed to be rooting for their happily ever after. If you include the many times Derek bedded Meredith before telling her he had a wife, Derek has cheated repeatedly. Arizona cheated on Callie. April was engaged when she told Avery she had feelings for him. I'd call that cheating. Izzie and George cheated on Callie, and George was still considered a saint on the show. Owen told Christina what he had done way sooner than George finally came clean to Callie. And like George, I think Owen was disgusted with himself and would not do it again. George was forgiven only because he and Callie were wrong for each other. Well, so were Christina and Owen. Mark cheated with Addison, but we were still supposed to root for him and Lexie because the right person somehow makes you a better person. With that kind of Grey's logic, Owen and George and April and Arizona and Derek and Meredith all just need the "right" person so they will behave. How inspiring.

 

Almost everyone on this show acts like an absolute brat when things are not going their way, so it's all the same to me. But back on topic with this episode, if the comments Callie made about being bi-sexual are to prep us for an Owen and Callie thing, I doubt it will be any more of a disaster than the rest of the couples are. The Owen character has to become relevant somehow, and a romance is usually the way this show goes about doing it. Plus Callie might need to scratch her (seemingly constant) itch first with a man, so she can remember she now prefers the va jay jay.

 

I swear, all during the therapy session scenes, I kept thinking if Mark were still alive, I bet he would know just what to say to keep his girls together. He would know how to make Callie really listen. And THEN, he could go straighten out Derek about his dickery to his family. I so miss Mark!

 

This episode did a great job of showing what absolute turds they all are and how almost every one of them should be alone. I did enjoy a Bailey-free episode, though. And it makes me wonder that she bugs me that much now.

 

I always liked Arizona wheeling around the hospital, teaching Alex, and reminding us that "pedes is hardcore!" Now that she switched specialties, we won't even get that. I wonder what they will do with her character now that she has no Alex to teach or Callie to fight with.

 

Come to think of it, The way I described Christina and Owen above, I could have been talking about Arizona and Callie. So maybe Callie and Owen will hook up because Callie and Owen were on the same page with their spouses. They were both about family and kids and nurturing, while Christina and Arizona were mostly just about the sexy. What a mess.

Edited October 26, 2014 by Chewy101

[anna0852]

I watched the episode recently and she gave Arizona  a night to process it. At the time Arizona wanted more time to process the information and Callie gave her an ultimatum you either accept the pregnancy now or we are over. If Callie hooks up with Owen I will loose all respect for her because she is set up to get hurt/cheated on. Owen hasn't stayed faithful to anyone. 

To be fair, Callie was already pregnant and had decided to have the baby. This was going to happen. Arizona was going to have to decide if she was in or not because the baby wasn't hypothetical anymore. If Arizona was out, then Callie needed to know. With a child to consider, Callie simply didn't have the luxury of waiting for Arizona to be okay with it. 

[choclatechip45]

 

To be fair, Callie was already pregnant and had decided to have the baby. This was going to happen. Arizona was going to have to decide if she was in or not because the baby wasn't hypothetical anymore. If Arizona was out, then Callie needed to know. With a child to consider, Callie simply didn't have the luxury of waiting for Arizona to be okay with it.

 She could of given Arizona a week at least it wasn't like Callie was 8 months pregnant and the baby was coming in the next month. I think Callie handled the pregnancy pretty badly.

[Amelie06]

I'm happy that Callie and Arizona are done. They better not get back together. They were a terrible couple! I was done when Arizona was mean as hell to Callie for amputating her leg and cheated on her for some small sense of revenge. That fight they had where Arizona commented that maybe they should cut off Callie's leg betrayed a depth of loathing that a couple just can't come back from. This was on display again with Arizona in therapy indicating that she wanted a months long "break" from her marriage. Didn't she say she would love a six month break? I thought for sure that Arizona was the one who wanted out and didn't know how to say the words.

 

Callie can be needy, but she has definitely been the one who has gotten the short end of the stick in that relationship.  I don't care if Arizona only had one night to decide what she wanted to do about the  baby.  Arizona dumped Callie at a fucking airport, seconds from getting on the plane. Who tells someone, "Hey your a buzzkill, and even though you've already rearranged your life to come with me, Imma need you to step back and not get on the fucking plane" and thinks they can just come back and pick right back up? Callie had the right to sex up Mark as much as she wanted. She also had the right to have that baby and to tell Arizona to get with the program or not. Not wanting to spend weeks getting messed about by a peppy woman when you are already stressed and pregnant isn't unreasonable. I believe that they never should have gotten back together.

 

I like that Callie was the one to decide that her relationship with Arizona wasn't worth saving. I did feel bad for Arizona in that moment. She seemed to have some measure of newly found appreciation for what she and Callie had built.  I wasn't entirely convinced by her tone and sweet glances to Callie, though. There was something about it that seemed like she was just saying the words she thought Callie wanted to hear and would help maintain the status quo.

 

This episode was kind of boring and painful, but at least our nightmare is finally over! Callie and Owen are clearly going to be a thing. I don't mind it though, that is why I dvr Grey's. You can easily just skip over all the undesirable scenes!

[BeaVee]

Please let this break be permanent - and let Arizona go back to Africa and do what she wanted to do all along. 

Having just watched Sophia's birth again, I am reminded of how much misery Arizona has inflicted on Grey Sloan Seattle Grace Mercy Death.  Between her staring at Callie while driving into the back of a truck - proposing because she was jealous of Mark, to her being the reason the hospital had to pay out on the lawsuit instead of the insurance company because she had a hissy fit over Alex going to Hopkins and took his place on the plane - it's time for her to go.  To me, she was always out of place there anyway.

 

I don't think I would hate Callie/Owen. As long as we don't get it by Owen asking Meredith why Christina hasn't called him and Mer having to tell him that Christina got married and is happily pregnant (oh you know Shonda would). 

 

I need Alex to find a grown up to love -- I really wish they would try him with Amelia. 

[Deanie87]

3

This was on display again with Arizona in therapy indicating that she wanted a months long "break" from her marriage. Didn't she say she would love a six month break? I thought for sure that Arizona was the one who wanted out and didn't know how to say the words.

 

I interpreted this as Arizona needing some time to focus on her fellowship and career without Callie constantly badgering her about babies and making her feel guilty about wanting to do the fellowship.  Maybe Arizona was feeling smothered too, god knows I would have.

[LakeLover]

This episode was such torture for me. When the therapist talked about the fact that Arizona and Callie have a child, I thought she was going to suggest "nest in place" where the child stays in the home, but the parents each take a turn leaving during the time of separation. Can you imagine the harm done to the child living in a house where their mom and mom ignore each other? Ridiculous. Of course, Sofia may be in the parking lot abyss with Erica Hahn, since I'm not sure when we saw her last.

 

And the black hole that is CallME. Me, me, me. I'm so sick of her, of her whining and complaining, of her neediness. Go have sex with Owen, have your mutually desired baby, and enjoy yourself, but please, do it off my tv screen.

[BC Mama]

As happy as I was to have Gypsy on my screen again, that therapist was ridiculous! Super healthy for Sofia to see her mommies ignore one another. I wish the therapist was actually Gypsy, because she would have given them some no bullshit advice!! 

[choclatechip45]

I wish they would explain why Callie was allowed to do her veterans work while Callie did not want Arizona to do the fellowship.

[DropTheSoap]

While I'd like to see a positive lesbian relationship on a network show, this wasn't it.

 

Love SaRa. I hope she gets more scenes with more people, except for maybe the Ginger Face-Muncher. I'm not spoiled, but I can read anvils.

 

Arizona had been making the rules, for the most part. It was nice to see that little bit of humility from the character.

[anna0852]

I wish they would explain why Callie was allowed to do her veterans work while Callie did not want Arizona to do the fellowship.

Because the veterans work is in the course of Callie's existing job. It is not significantly more time consuming and doesn't require Callie to basically re-do her residency (even at an accelerated pace). And doesn't Callie already have grant money for this? It may be a 'use it or lose it' situation that is already in place while the fellowship was a possibility that would disrupt their already made plans for a second child.

[pointybird]

Fortunately, Owen can't knock Callie up because, despite them both having aching wombs, neither of them can carry a baby.

 

One would think so, but this is Greys!  I wouldn't be surprised if Callie doesn't find herself knocked-up again and facing a moral dilemma as to whether or not to continue with the pregnancy at great danger to herself, or terminate (I'm guessing she can still conceive but was advised not to).  Oh the melodrama!

[PrincessTT]

For true melodrama there would probably end up being a problem with the baby and fetal surgeon Arizona would have to operate.

[Chewy101]

I need Alex to find a grown up to love -- I really wish they would try him with Amelia. 

 

Except Amelia is so not a grownup to me. She is funny sometimes and animated, but still toxic. Can't Alex have a normal person? No addictions w/multiple relapses, no abuse issues, no orphans, no cancer, no crazy! 

[DrLar]

It isn't over yet, here come the divorce battles, who gets the house, who gets custody of the child, etc, etc.

 

One of them must change city or at least hospital to end this drama, or like suggested, get Arizona to Africa perhaps fighting Ebola or something..

[CleoCaesar]

Can't Alex have a normal person? No addictions w/multiple relapses, no abuse issues, no orphans, no cancer, no crazy!

 

Alex isn't exactly a prize either. He is a grown-ass man with severe daddy issues and has a raging temper/anger issues. He's rarely in a good mood and always seems angry or at least annoyed. Not to mention, the common factor in all of Alex's messed-up relationships is, well, Alex.

[windsprints]

I need Alex to find a grown up to love -- I really wish they would try him with Amelia.

 

I don't think Jo is any less mature than any of the others (and Alex isn't exactly the picture of maturity all the time).  Also, I'm sure they will not be able to resist having Amelia relapse at some point so not sure she'd be better. Orphan Jo doesn't seem to dwell on being an orphan very much.

 

I wish the show would have some recurring characters as love interests (not guest stars who we know are there for X number of episodes). There's so many characters and most get so little storyline time so a few brief relationship scenes with a recurring (no story of their own) and some doctor scenes would work for a few of the characters.

Edited October 27, 2014 by windsprints

[Coxfires]

Alex isn't exactly a prize either. He is a grown-ass man with severe daddy issues and has a raging temper/anger issues. He's rarely in a good mood and always seems angry or at least annoyed. Not to mention, the common factor in all of Alex's messed-up relationships is, well, Alex.

 

I don't think any of the characters are prizes. Derek acts allmighty but has a tendency to be smug and strike below the belt (plus he was pretty shitty with both Addison and Mer back in the days), Owen's attitude with Cristina is self-explanatory, and the girls (Mer, Callie, Az...) aren't much better.

I have to disagree though with your assessment of Alex, that was applicable a few seasons ago, but not anymore.

Alex messing up all his relationships isn't true: Ava/Rebecca went nuts (hardly his doing) and Izzie got cancer and left him on a whim.

As for the daddy issues, I think they wre resolved last year when he stayed with his Dad when he was dying.

Now I don't say he is perfect, far from it, but denying his progress as a character is unfair to him.

[CleoCaesar]

I don't think any of the characters are prizes.

 

Right, but I was replying to a post saying Alex should date a normal person with no issues. So my reply was Alex-focused, not about the other characters. I still think Alex is an angry douchebag 90% of the time, and that dating him is a bad decision for anyone. He has a mountain of his own issues.

[Deanie87]

I'm not sure that a character without issues exists on this show.  And the ones that do, don't last long (see: Finn and Hahn).   The closest Alex has come to a "normal" girlfriend was Lexie and she didn't seem to know how to handle him and he seemed bored.  

 

I like Alex with Jo and I agree she is no less mature than others (this past episode had two women years older than Jo throwing back tequila and screaming "Vaginnnaaaaa!!)   We rarely get much info about her, but I would say that someone who put themselves through college and medical school with little to no support emotionally or financially is pretty grown up.  As a girlfriend she has been nothing but loving and supportive to Alex and tries to understand him, which is more than most of his other love interests have done.

 

Jo hasn't been written well when she has been written for at all, but she doesn't have any more maturity issues, parental issues, communication issues or abandonment issues than other character, she just seems to be held to a higher standard for some reason.  Neither she nor Alex are perfect specimens of emotional maturity, yet so far they seem to have one of the healthier relationships on the show.  I'm sure that will change when and if they get a storyline, however.

[izabella]

I never liked Jo after she beat up that guy she was dating.  They just dropped everything about her violent tendencies, but I remember and can't stand her.  If she had been a guy who beat up their girlfriend when she walked over to touch him, she'd be in jail.

Edited October 27, 2014 by izabella

[Deanie87]

Except that we don't know exactly what went down there because we never saw it. It was totally a he said/she said situation. She said he put his hand on her in a way that made her feel threatened and fought back, he said her black eye and busted lip came from defending himself.

I think it's a little less black and white than "she is a totally violent boyfriend beater" but ymmv. She has never laid her hands on Alex and any other hint of a violent past is mentioned cryptically and then completely dropped.

Given the background the writers gave her it isn't surprising that she is no stranger to violence. However, if they want us to view her as some chronic domestic abuser and make us worry for Alex's safety I would think that they would have done that storyline by now. That isn't how I view her, but again, ymmv.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Deanie87

[gator12]

I never liked Jo after she beat up that guy she was dating.  They just dropped everything about her violent tendencies, but I remember and can't stand her.  If she had been a guy who beat up their girlfriend when she walked over to touch him, she'd be in jail.

Not only that they did an episode where her and Callie bonded over her putting 3 different guys in critical condition. 

[Lesia]

While that therapy did seem strange, living together but not communicating, I realized that I lived that myself! Oddly enough, my husband and I BARELY spoke to each other for about 3 years.  We have 2 kids, and he and I just orbited around each other for the better part of that time.  I took care of EVERYTHING related to the kids: school, activities, conferences, concerts, homework, scouts, and then all the house stuff: bills, cleaning, cooking, vacations, raking, shoveling, EVERYTHING.  He checked out. Then he left.  Ironic, no?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

It isn't over yet, here come the divorce battles, who gets the house, who gets custody of the child, etc, etc.

Did Arizona ever legally adopt Sofia? If not, it will be a lot more difficult for her to share custody if Callie doesn't cooperate. As much of a hardass as Callie can be, I think (hope!) she knows how much Arizona loves Sofia and will not be vindictive enough to completely cut Arizona out of Sofia's life.

Edited October 27, 2014 by ElectricBoogaloo

[funnygirl]

 

Did Arizona ever legally adopt Sofia? If not, it will be a lot more difficult for her to share custody if Callie doesn't cooperate.

Callie specifically said at the end of the episode that while they should take the time to love themselves separately, they will love Sofia together.

There's not going to be a custody battle. Callie has always believed that Sofia was just as much Arizona's as hers. She may have doubted Arizona's commitment to wanting to be a mom, but she's indicated on a few occasions that Sofia is Arizona's and she'd never take her from her.

[Frankie5Angels]

I have to say that Callie's farewell fuck was trifling as hell seeing as Arizona didn't know it was a farewell fuck. I don't think Callie and Arizona will have a custody battle. She and Arizona seemed to be somewhat decent co-parents even when Arizona was finding all purpose bitches, so I don't see either of them trying to keep Sofia away from the other. 

 

Callie and Owen would make me disgusted. He is one of the few people who has more issues than Arizona. He is as needy as Callie can be, he's unstable mentally, he can be vindictive the way Arizona is (he cheated on Cristina because she had an abortion after he verbally abused her in public), he's hung up on another woman, and Callie just now left her wife. And, Imma just keep it real, I don't want to see Callie with a man. Sorry, but I just don't want to see the woman in a lesbian relationship laying up with a man and then laying with up with Arizona again because Arizona doesn't like it and wouldn't move past it. I know if my wife and I split up for any amount of time and she slept with a man, it would be a total wrap for us. I don't see it for them if Callie gets with Owen or any other guy. It might not be fair to hold anything Callie does while they are broken up against her, but if she wants Arizona back, Arizona has a right to ring up those charges against her. Alas, as the anvils and SaRa's endless droning on about wanting to "explore Callie's bisexual journey" indicate, we'll have to accept the unrealistic scenario in which Arizona accepts her meandering with men. Yes, as we were reminded 90 million times, Callie is bisexual. Girl, we know that and did not need reminded of that you like men too. 

 

I swear, all during the therapy session scenes, I kept thinking if Mark were still alive, I bet he would know just what to say to keep his girls together.

 

 

And this is why I hated the "Modern Family" story line. Callie and Arizona were not "Mark's girls." Callie and Arizona were in a relationship and the three of them shared a child. Theirs was not a polyamorous relationship and Mark was not a member of it. The only girl Mark had was Sofia, not Callie, not Arizona, and certainly not the both of them. Shonda's thirst to make this cute is why I side-eyed their relationship after Arizona made the dumb decision to reenter a relationship with Callie after Callie got knocked up by her BFF. Arizona didn't have a right to hold that against her because Arizona stupidly and cruelly dumped her in an airport so they weren't together at all, but she did have a right to decide to abandon all efforts to get her back because that is the motherlode of bad ideas. Arizona looked so thirsty and foolish for going back to her bisexual ex who was knocked up by her fuck buddy and best friend. Callie's bisexual dream, as Arizona called it, could only end up a nightmare for a lesbian relationship. Callie put her in a bad spot telling her that she had 24 hours to be in or out but, at the end of the day, Arizona made the spectacularly stupid decision to be all in instead of cashing in her chips and cutting her losses. Maybe I feel some type of way about it because I'm a lesbian and dislike how our relationships can't seem to exist on television without a man in it (remember Mark was part of Callie's "relationship" with Erica), but I just cringed.  I felt bad for up until she was mean to Callie for saving her life, cheated on Callie and then picked up Leah on the Waiver Wire.

 

It is impossible that they won't be put back together. It is just unrealistic in terms of the show that they won't be together. Yes, they've done each other dirty, are mean to one another, and have done things to one another that would keep most real life couples apart. But, that's not the case on this show. Meredith and Derek have been through some crazy shit, done mean things to each other, cheated, betrayed one another, they are currently fighting over career/child issues, and they are together. Granted, theirs is not a healthy relationship, but they are married and together. Shonda loves the drama. If Arizona could get pregnant and then use her new specialty to operate on herself Shonda would do it, so putting these incredibly dysfunctional people back together is nothing to her. 

Edited October 28, 2014 by Frankie5Angels

[funnygirl]

 

I have to say that Callie's farewell fuck was trifling as hell seeing as Arizona didn't know it was a farewell fuck.

Callie didn't know at the time that it was a "farewell f*ck", as you call it.

She didn't know she was going to break it off until she got to therapy, and with Arizona saying all of the things she usually says when the rest of her world (work) is falling a part, Callie noticed the continuous pattern that she/they are in and made the decision there. Sara even says as much in one of the interviews.

 

And for the last time, Callie and Owen aren't going to hook up! Sara was adament about their relationship/friendship being a professional one in the post episode interviews.

[choclatechip45]

 

And for the last time, Callie and Owen aren't going to hook up! Sara was adament about their relationship/friendship being a professional one in the post episode interviews.

I wouldn't trust what any of the actors say in interviews. Capshaw said last year that Arizona would get mad at Alex for taking the private practice job which never happened. When someone asked her about it on Twitter she pretty said yeah I wanted Arizona to get mad because it would of made things more interesting.

[Frankie5Angels]

And for the last time, Callie and Owen aren't going to hook up! Sara was adament about their relationship/friendship being a professional one in the post episode interviews.

 

 

The actors aren't known for always being accurate or knowledgable. Are they even far enough into post-production of future episodes for her to know that? I bet Capshaw didn't know about the cheating and, prior to last season she said that Arizona would be dealing with PTSD or that her cheating would be explained. That never happened. She clearly thought they were going one way and they went another (Arizona went to the GrOan bench of side chicks instead of a therapist). She way very well believe that Callie won't be with Owen because that's what she believes or has been told, but that doesn't mean very much because she isn't a writer or a psychic. I hope she's right and that we never see such a monstrosity, but I feel like the anvils are pointing in that direction. 

[CleoCaesar]

Callie and Owen would be such a weird disaster, since I can't imagine any chemistry or love between two characters that don't spark together in the rare scenes they share. It would be like Kepner dating Webber or Meredith dating Jackson or something equally weird.

 

(Plus, I hate to say, it for me Callie has the most chemistry (after Mark) with Derek. I don't know if it's because of PD and SaRa, but they just seem to click really well in all their scenes together. But not even Shonda is crazy enough to actually go there.)

 

I wouldn't mind it at all if Callie were attracted to and pursued a relationship with a guy. After all - as we were hit over the head with this episode - she's into both genders. Some of the most biphobic people I've ever known/read online are lesbians (and to a lesser extent gay men) and there's already a lot of outcry in some circles of the Internet over Callie being bi and how Arizona shouldn't trust Callie since she's bi and will always go back to penis. It'd be nice to annoy that contingent of viewers, and to me Callie always seemed more comfortable in relationships with men anyway. However, I don't doubt that we haven't seen the end of Calzona yet.

[AndySmith]

I'm rather mixed about Callie and Arizona. I like both characters. I liked them as a couple, more or less. But since the place crash? Not so much. I hope if they break up, it's for good. And while I'm ok with Callie moving on to a guy...please don't let it be Owen. heck, don't let it be someone from the hospital, while we're at it.

This episode gets some positive vibes from me, mainly because it was Maggie free.

I do think the cast needs to be trimmed down. Personally, I'd get rid of Jo, Maggie, Webber, and Amelia. Don't really care about any of them and/or they've long since worn out their welcome. But every one of us would probably have their own opinions on that.

All the shout outs to the show's past made me think "Remember when Owen, Bailey, and Arizona were much more interesting and likeable?". Oh well. To each their own.

[Frankie5Angels]

I wouldn't mind it at all if Callie were attracted to and pursued a relationship with a guy. After all - as we were hit over the head with this episode - she's into both genders. Some of the most biphobic people I've ever known/read online are lesbians (and to a lesser extent gay men) and there's already a lot of outcry in some circles of the Internet over Callie being bi and how Arizona shouldn't trust Callie since she's bi and will always go back to penis. It'd be nice to annoy that contingent of viewers, and to me Callie always seemed more comfortable in relationships with men anyway. However, I don't doubt that we haven't seen the end of Calzona yet.

 

 

I see Arizona being unwilling to reenter her relationship with Callie on the grounds that she's slept with a man as unrealistic because it is a serious issue between them. Callie knows it's an issue too as she said in the episode, so if she gets with a guy, she should expect Arizona to freak because, well, she knows it's an issue.  I view her just getting over that, coupled with the fact that Callie dumped her, with the same side-eye I do couples just managing to get over not wanting to have kids. Regardless of whether or not it is valid, it has been an issue their entire relationship and Arizona is deeply insecure about it. And, this would mean that Callie's only rebounds have been with men. Arizona is the one who once thought Callie was gonna dump her and said, "Are you gonna tell me you want to go back to penis?" She's super insecure about it and I can't see someone with that level of insecurity being okay with it, especially when she was already dumped. But, Shonda will do it anyway because couples come back from all sort's of awful shit. If Cristina can forgive Owen's outrageous behavior and vindictive cheating because she  had an abortion, I can see them writing Arizona as being able to "forgive" something she really doesn't like too. Remember, we are in Shondaland!

 

I think the outcry you're seeing over the prospect of Callie being a man is in response to the howls on the internet that Callie needs a good man in her life and always has. Indeed, there are those saying that Arizona also needs a good man and therefore they can't work because neither is a man. Callie getting with a guy would gratify those voices and validate them. Worst of all, there are those who believe Callie and Owen would be perfect because then Sofia would have a father and a normal family. I cringe at the thought of it because of that. It's just frustrating because I do not want to see those horrible little people and their smugness about it. These cries for Callie and Owen have existed for a while, but this breakup and this episode has cranked that up.

 

But, I also think it is something that, like Callie's being pregnant with Mark's baby, that Arizona or any lesbian would put up with. For example, do you think that a straight man would be put in the position Arizona was in if his wife got knocked up by her BFF/fuck buddy? Of course not. The concept is absurd, but Arizona gets shit for being bitter the way a man would because her and Callie's relationship is relationship is invalid to a large portion of the fandom (see comment above about Callie and Arizona being "Mark's girls") which doesn't entitle her to being unhappy about the pregnancy. Yes, Callie got knocked up when they were broken up and Arizona has no right to complain, especially since she ditched Callie. But, her agreeing to be all in with Callie's baby with Mark would never have been acceptable for a straight man character. Much of what you see is a reaction to the homophobes, not necessarily with bisexuals. The problem is Callie and their relationship, especially as it was handled in this episode.

 

But, I agree with you in part. I am sure that there is an element of bias against bisexual people because, as you point out, that is extremely common internet. Anonymity does allow people to act and speak in ways they'd never do in public, and let their asshole flag fly. 

[oceanblue]

I have a different take on the Mark/Callie/Arizona relationship.  Post children, Meredith and Derek have worked best when they had at least another adult in their house (Callie, Amelia). I think Shondra believes that two career parenthood is very stressful, and putting a complementary adult in the household (or next door) makes it more workable.   I don't see it as a belief that lesbians can't work without a man.

[funnygirl]

 

I wouldn't mind it at all if Callie were attracted to and pursued a relationship with a guy. After all - as we were hit over the head with this episode - she's into both genders.

I wouldn't mind if Callie were to be with a guy, either. Or another girl, whatever. She's attracted to both, and so long as the chemistry is there it could work. (Although I do believe that eventually, maybe the end of the season, maybe the end of the show, Callie and Arizona will ultimately end up together. And that's fine with me, too!)

Callie's bisexual, attracted to the PERSON, and so if she's unattached and PERSON comes by that catches her eye, then she is well within her right to pursue something with them.

 

Do I think that person should be Owen? Hell no. Just because he's single doesn't mean he automatically warrants as a proper partner for Callie. Just because they both like families and kids doesn't mean they'd be a good fit. They were a joke of a couple in the If/Then episode for a reason. Not to mention, Owen was a big love for Cristina, you remember her? Callie's roomate/good friend/the godmother of Sofia? Why they heck would Callie tread on her territory like that? Why would anyone want her too? Furthermore, just because Owen gave Callie a hug in episode 3 doesn't mean a million anvils dropped and they're going to end up making out. I know Grey's can be heavy-handed with their stuff, and I also know the show has had some big Fails (Gizzie, DeadDenny...), but I think even Shonda is aware that Callie and Owen just wouldn't work like that. 

 

If the point of this breakup is for Arizona and Callie to find themselves again, then neither of them should be hooking up with anyone anytime soon. Or else what the heck is the point?

There are new head writers running the show, hopefully they have a better sense of direction and story planning than the previous guys, because it got downright sloppy at the end of their tenure.

[CleoCaesar]

Yes, Callie got knocked up when they were broken up and Arizona has no right to complain, especially since she ditched Callie. But, her agreeing to be all in with Callie's baby with Mark would never have been acceptable for a straight man character.

 

Interestingly if the genders were flipped, I think it wouldn’t be met with negativity if a man stepped up to raise his non-biological child just because he loved his wife that much.

 

I think the outcry you're seeing over the prospect of Callie being with a man is in response to the howls on the internet that Callie needs a good man in her life and always has.

 

Well the website I was thinking about is a lesbian-oriented celebrity gossip website where bisexuals are loathed simply for being bisexuals. Like they’re not even called bisexuals – they’re “bisluts”. And the overwhelming majority of posters think that Callie is unfit to even be in a same-sex relationships since bisexual women apparently always end up with men.

[choclatechip45]

I don't really have a problem Callie dating a guy my problem is with her dating anyone. Ever since we met her she has barley been single and seems to think her self worth depends on her being in a relationship.

[PrincessTT]

There's a pregnancy situation going on in one of our medical dramas over here where the man was being expected to stick by his pregnant (with another man's baby) wife, and I've read/heard lots of people telling him to just "get over it" and "deal with it" when he's been shown to be struggling with it. 

 

I think that there's an attitude that if a couple wants a baby but can't just get pregnant naturally (either because of being lesbians like Calzona or because of infertility like the couple in Holby) then they should just be grateful for a baby even if it's conceived in less than ideal circumstances. 

[pointybird]

Well the website I was thinking about is a lesbian-oriented celebrity gossip website where bisexuals are loathed simply for being bisexuals. Like they’re not even called bisexuals – they’re “bisluts”. And the overwhelming majority of posters think that Callie is unfit to even be in a same-sex relationships since bisexual women apparently always end up with men.

I know the website you're referring to, and some of the comments on there make me despair at humanity!  On the topic of Callie dating a man, I'm with the overwhelming majority in that I really hope she doesn't date or have any kind of hook-up with Owen.  I do worry that there could be some sort of loneliness / rebound / comfort fling, though, with them both having recently split with long-term partners.  I don't see them having a lasting relationship, but I could see them 'keeping each other company' for a few weeks.  Given Callie's friendship with Cristina, and the fact they work together in the same place as Arizona, it's all a bit icky and incestuous - I really hope they don't go there!

 

If the powers that be want to explore Callie's 'bisexual journey' (without Owen!), as was indicated this episode, then I think that's fair enough.  What I would also want to see explored at the same time, though, is Arizona's 'lesbian journey', i.e. I don't want to see the lesbian character become asexual or de-sexualised.  Really, though, I don't want to be taken on a 'journey' of anyone's sexuality - I just want to see organic and character-driven story-telling that sees both of these characters flourish and find happiness.

Edited October 29, 2014 by pointybird

[proserpina65]

I swear, all during the therapy session scenes, I kept thinking if Mark were still alive, I bet he would know just what to say to keep his girls together. He would know how to make Callie really listen. And THEN, he could go straighten out Derek about his dickery to his family. I so miss Mark!

 

Hallelujah to that.  I didn't like Mark at first, and would never have imagined missing him, but damned if I don't.  And you're so right, he was surprisingly able to look at these relationships from the somewhat outside and see things pretty clearly.  And he would've been there for Sofia during the stupid month of not talking to each other while living in the same house, so at least she would've been spare that trauma.

Because the veterans work is in the course of Callie's existing job. It is not significantly more time consuming and doesn't require Callie to basically re-do her residency (even at an accelerated pace). And doesn't Callie already have grant money for this? It may be a 'use it or lose it' situation that is already in place while the fellowship was a possibility that would disrupt their already made plans for a second child.

That makes sense, and is far more of an explanation that we've gotten (and are likely ever to get) from GA.

However, if they want us to view her as some chronic domestic abuser and make us worry for Alex's safety I would think that they would have done that storyline by now.

 

I wish they would.  That would at least give Alex a storyline for the season, and would be far more interesting that pretty much anyone else's right now.

And while I'm ok with Callie moving on to a guy...please don't let it be Owen. heck, don't let it be someone from the hospital, while we're at it.

 

All these people needed to start dating outside the hospital years ago. 

Edited October 29, 2014 by proserpina65

[CleoCaesar]

Really, though, I don't want to be taken on a 'journey' of anyone's sexuality - I just want to see organic and character-driven story-telling that sees both of these characters flourish and find happiness.

 

HA! Preach it, sister. I always give showrunners/writers/actors the side-eye when they start talking about characters' "journeys". It's a pretty empty expression to begin with and it somehow always turns into some half-baked storyline with the character making stupid decisions only to end up where we all knew he/she was going to anyway.

[izabella]

I don't really have a problem Callie dating a guy my problem is with her dating anyone. Ever since we met her she has barley been single and seems to think her self worth depends on her being in a relationship.

 

I think we can say that about pretty much everyone on this show, with a few exceptions, like the Chief isn't dating anyone right now and Owen isn't dating anyone right now (but it's only been a few weeks since Christina left).

[choclatechip45]

 

I think we can say that about pretty much everyone on this show, with a few exceptions, like the Chief isn't dating anyone right now and Owen isn't dating anyone right now (but it's only been a few weeks since Christina left).

I disagree I have no idea what Callie's personality is like I feel like whenever she is on my screen since she has been introduced she is either dealing with a relationship or having sex. I have no idea who she is as a person. Most of the other cast I can see their personality because they are not always dealing with relationship drama. Callie has only been briefly single and not having sex with Mark for a couple of episodes in season 5 (where she complained how miserable she was because Hahn left and she had no girlfriend or boyfriend) and the first 8 episodes of season 10 were she was dealing with Arizona. Callie has had few  story lines outside of George, Mark, Erica and Arizona.

Edited October 29, 2014 by choclatechip45

[Chas411]

I'm just so glad that they're finally over and we can get a break from watching them have the same argument over and over again each week.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

I disagree I have no idea what Callie's personality is like I feel like whenever she is on my screen since she has been introduced she is either dealing with a relationship or having sex. I have no idea who she is as a person. Most of the other cast I can see their personality because they are not always dealing with relationship drama. Callie has only been briefly single and not having sex with Mark for a couple of episodes in season 5 (where she complained how miserable she was because Hahn left and she had no girlfriend or boyfriend) and the first 8 episodes of season 10 were she was dealing with Arizona. Callie has had few story lines outside of George, Mark, Erica and Arizona.

I agree that Callie's plots always revolve around who she's dating. I know that's true of most of the other characters but we still get to see other aspects of their personalities whereas with Callie, all I know about her is she's an orthopedic surgeon, she's bisexual, Mark was her BFF for a little while, and when she was homeless she lived at the hospital and danced in her underwear.

[Frankie5Angels]

Interestingly if the genders were flipped, I think it wouldn’t be met with negativity if a man stepped up to raise his non-biological child just because he loved his wife that much.

 

 

I have trouble believing a straight guy would be okay with his wife or girlfriend's baby daddy was rubbing her feet while he made her food. I just don't see any show trying to convince us that the partner of the woman would be okay with it. It would have been one thing if Mark wasn't totally involved in their relationship. Arizona didn't just step up, she had Mark as a third party in her relationship. It was just bad.

 

As for a website where slurs are used, should we be taking these people seriously? They sound like people we would summarily dismiss if they used crazy racial slurs. I can't take people like that seriously because they sound childish and pathetic. I can't take someone like that seriously as an interlocutor because that language is cartoonish. One can have a discussion about the fact that Arizona's discomfort with Callie being bisexual without calling people "bisluts." Arizona isn't winning awards for chastity either by the way. If anyone has genuine concerns about the other cheating, Callie can rightly point out that since they've been married, Arizona has slept with two different women whereas Callie has only been with her. If Arizona comes for Callie on the "you'll cheat on me with a man," Callie can clap back easily. I couldn't believe how Arizona walked right into that one!

 

Did anyone else detect a hint of shade during the "I feel" surgery? Obviously, they were sniping at one another, but Callie's "Okay, fine! Cut into the kid's leg" line seemed like she was throwing shade at Arizona on the grounds that she got pissed for Callie cutting off her leg when it was necessary but Arizona was doing it to someone else. Arizona's face after Callie said that was one of someone who felt shaded. It was hilarious. 

[kingshearte]

Totally agree with everyone who said the separation in the same house was absurd. Not only would that be toxic for Sofia, but isn't the whole point of the exercise to basically go out and live your own life separately from your partner for a while? How on earth are you going to do that with your partner lurking around, keeping an eye on you and just generally being all up in your business? Plus, if there's any kind of chemistry in your relationship, there's that sexual temptation. Nothing about that seems like it could be remotely healthy or beneficial in any way.

 

I too am glad they're over (I hope), but I found myself wishing it had been Arizona who pulled the plug. I know she cheated so I'm supposed to hate her, but I feel like Callie has been very self-absorbed and bullying for ages — the way she steamrolled over almost everything Arizona tried to say in therapy was a prime example, and not new to this episode, either — and she's never truly moved past the cheating. I get that it's a big deal, but if you haven't actually forgiven the person, don't pretend you have and then throw it back in their face every time they call you on your own less than stellar behaviour. It's like Callie can't acknowledge having contributed in any way to their relationship problems, and views it as entirely Arizona's fault because of that one indiscretion (Yes, there was also Leah, but by that point, the damage was already done.). They were both awful to each other, but for at least the last several episodes, I've found Callie to be the more insufferable of the two.

 

I do not believe that cliche about how all relationships require a lot of hard work and compromise. When you find the right person, it isn't work and you don't have to constantly compromise. When your relationship is all about hard work and compromise and fighting about the same crap over and over, you should look for someone else. Relationships are supposed to make you happy, not miserable. 

Thank you! You hear that so often that sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who feels this way. Yes, it takes a certain commitment and whatnot, but if it's that bloody hard all the time, it's not right.

 

For true melodrama there would probably end up being a problem with the baby and fetal surgeon Arizona would have to operate.

Ding ding ding! I think we have a winner!

 

I thought the vagina song was... not funny, exactly, but kind of fun. Our society overall really does have a problem with that word, so it was kind of nice to see that discomfort mocked a little. 

 

Also, am I the only one who found that Geena Davis in surgery sounds weirdly like Derek in surgery?