The Quotes Thread: A Barrier of Bad News

[WhitneyWhit]

If nothing else, these fools have provided some priceless quotes over the past five seasons, I figured we needed a place to discuss our favorites. And I know this thread will probably be 90% Janelle, but I would like to start it off with one from the gone, not forgotten, Keiffer.

 

"So? It ain't illegal to be a felon!"

 

 

[wrestlesflamingos]

"You know how I got you to walk? Cheese puffs." Mamma Dawn to Leah.

[CaliforniaLove]

Jo: I'm not a normal father. I'm an EXTRAVAGANT father.

Sort of reminded me of "I'm not like the other moms. I'm a cool mom."

[fliptopbox]

"My feelings for you have dropped." Jenelle

[GreatKazu]

Barb:

“I hope ya have fun livin’ in the street with ya booooyfriend!”

“He’s gone! He moved out with a Hootas waitress!”

 

Evil Twin:

"We can buy another one."  (responding to Leah who worries about the wheelchair being broken)

 

Nipples:

(not sure of the actual quote) "Look! It's electronical!"

Edited October 4, 2014 by GreatKazu

[bluphoenix451]

"I have to go to school and be at school and register for school!" Janelle explaining why she needs to smoke weed

[RedKoolAide]

"I'm so FRUSTRATED!" - Kail

[rhofmovalley]

"I'm thoooooooo stressed!" - Chelsea (the "thooo" is her baby lisp in case that wasn't clear lol)

 

"Daddddd-uhhh!" - Chelsea

[Joe Jitsu913]

"I hate to be the barrier of bad news.."-Dawn

Edited October 5, 2014 by Joe Jitsu913

[Ljohnson1987]

"Jesus, God, Leah!" Cory

[Ljohnson1987]

"He's so mean to me!" Jenelle about Mongo in every episode. My response is always. "Why are you still with him, moron?"

[CaliforniaLove]

"Wuhllllllllll...."

(How Jenelle begins every sentence)

[zenme]

Jenelle:

 

"I'm feeling better now after I had my abortion, so I'm going on a date with Nathan."

[RedKoolAide]

"I can't be away from another one of my childs." - Nathan, he said something similar to this. He's an idiot.

[zenme]

Keiffer Delp to Jenelle:

 

"It could be way worse.  We could be sitting in the front seat of the Accord with no place to go."

 

Keiffer Delp to Barbara:

 

"I can go into any kitchen right now and get a job..."

 

(Was this in 16 and Preggers or was it TM2?)

 

Chelsea to Randy:

 

"I achieved a baby."

[Maharincess]

"Wuhllllllllll...."

(How Jenelle begins every sentence)

That has always driven me crazy.

My favorite Jenelle quote came from 16 and pregnant when Barbra wouldn't let Andrew spend the night....

"Guess what mom, nothin else worse can happen"

[JerseyGirl]

Barb:

“Don’t lie about smokin’ the weed to the judge. He’ll throw the book at ya! Don’t lie about the weed! The weed, Juh-nelle! Don’t lie about the weed!”

 

Janelle:

Well, yeah, I used your credit cards, but only on food and gas!!

[SPLAIN]

Kailyn to Jordan: "You're like a gift to me."

 

She should have said, "You're like a gift CARD to me."  And we know what that gift was too, Kailyn. Someone who is non-Latino to take care of your sorry ass.

[BitterApple]

Nathan in regards to registering for outrageously expensive baby gear:

 

"It's not about the price, it's about having CLASS!!!"

 

You tell'em Nipples!

[fliptopbox]

The only baby items I can see spending a decent chunk of money on would be the carseat and a good stroller that will adapt to all stages baby and toddler-hood. But not an 'electronical' one. Pretty much everything else isn't worth breaking the bank over, unless you plan to have more kids and reuse the furniture.

 

And to keep with the quotes.

 

"Hope you have fun livin in the street....wit yah boooooooyyyyyyfrieeeeeennddddd!" Barb (in reference to Kieffer)

Edited October 7, 2014 by fliptopbox

[wrestlesflamingos]

Or resell the gifts for cash.

[FozzyBear]

This isn't an exact quote because I only saw it on a Previously On

Adam on the custody situation referring to his many arrests: All she has on me is stuff I did . Nothing about parenting!

You know, because bring arrested while you have custody of your daughter isn't about parenting skills. I'm not sure I understand what Adam thinks parenting is...

Edited October 7, 2014 by FozzyBear

[Chicken Wing]

"High! High! Ya both high!"

[lovesnark]

Not the exact quote. But, Keefuh telling Jenelle that he's going to have Barb arrested for trespassing and theft for going into the bathroom and taking their syringes.

[BitterApple]

Not the exact quote. But, Keefuh telling Jenelle that he's going to have Barb arrested for trespassing and theft for going into the bathroom and taking their syringes.

Yes!!! I remember that one. He said something along the lines of "that's breaking and entering!" as if Barb entering their house uninvited was so much worse than having heroin and needles stashed in their bathroom.

[iheartla]

"No, no no, you don't understand, this is my idol. I really can't miss that concert, that's why  I got these feathers in my hair, because of the concert. I bought clothes for the concert. I set up hotel rooms for the concert... Like, no one understands how important this concert is to me. It's not just a concert, it's Kesha. Like it's the person, not oh I wanna go to a random concert, it's Kesha. Like, My idol. The girl that I watch videos on YouTube 30x a day. I mean, like I'm obsessed with this girl." Jenelle to her probation officer. 

 Edited because her name autocorrected to "Jennie"

Edited March 2, 2016 by iheartla

[truelovekiss]

"Is my hair brushed? Nope." Ali girl sassing Leah about how she wasn't ready to go to school.

"Busting my bawwwwwwllllls..." Barbara

"That's fondue! Ya can't eat that!" When Jenelle got Jace a cake covered in fondant.

When Leah and Corey were still married and Leah was talking about getting a job as a dental assistant and Corey didn't want her working around men, Leah asked something like "why don't you trust me to go to work?" Corey just gave a knowing look and said "I just know how you are."

It wasn't on the show, but I read an article where Jo sent Kail the most glorious text. In summary, they were fighting about custody and he said "I'll be at your house tomorrow with the police. If you're not there with my son on time like the custody order says. After that I don't care. Your can suck a dick, beat your husband, go eat another cheeseburger or whatever the hell else you like to do on a Wednesday evening."

[truelovekiss]

Also, I want to add the casual way Barb greets Jenelle. "Oh, hi Jenelle." Every time, it gets me.

"THAT WAS MY CHANGE JAR, JENELLE!!!!" That kid was everything.

[HeySandyStrange]

"You're a piece of fudge!" Never change, Ali girl, never change.

[teapot]

"that's not food"-Queen Ali to Aleeah Grace about the Lunchables in their fridge

[truelovekiss]

Ali is seriously the smartest person on this show. That child knows how to deliver the sass.

[MsSilverSpecs]

Also, I want to add the casual way Barb greets Jenelle. "Oh, hi Jenelle." Every time, it gets me.

"THAT WAS MY CHANGE JAR, JENELLE!!!!" That kid was everything.

I like it too because it sounds sarcastic and I love me some sarcasm.

[Cutfitness]

Just rewatched an episode where Chelsea sees a counselor of dubious quality to talk about Adam. Prepare for some very professional advice- "And so one thing that I would like you to do: just go on the Internet and do a search for 'boundaries' and read about it."

[Katt]

"You work in Walmart deli, and I'm going to be a medical assistant saving people's lives while you serve some fucking food!" Jenelle to Barbara. 

[BitterApple]

Lol, how's that Medical Assistant thing working out for you, Jenelle?

[ghoulina]

"that's not food"-Queen Ali to Aleeah Grace about the Lunchables in their fridge

 

Sadly, it appears the twins have lowered their standards. 

 

 

"I don't trust you!" - Gracie to her poor excuse for a mother, on promising to bring lunch later. 

[GreatKazu]

Barb:

“I hope ya have fun livin’ in the street with ya booooyfriend!”

“He’s gone! He moved out with a Hootas waitress!”

 

Evil Twin:

"We can buy another one."  (responding to Leah who worries about the wheelchair being broken)

 

Nipples:

(not sure of the actual quote) "Look! It's electronical!"

I am quoting my own post from 2014.

My, my, my. That quote from Gracie in response to Leah worrying about the wheelchair ever breaking. In just a year's time Leah has gone from worrying about the chair breaking to not giving a shit for three months that her child went without it.

Gracie has her mother's number. She knows there is money. She must have heard her mother say that very thing many times about anything and everything..."We can just buy another one." it is Leah's same philosophy with regards to guys and dick, she can always find another one.

[CofCinci]

"I'm cold and I'm hungry."

[Sarza]

It's already been said but it gets me every time "oh hi janelle" first thing I think about when I think of babs lol

[Katt]

lol, Sarza, it's like Barbara is surprised to see Jenelle every time, even though she purposefully went looking there for Jenelle.   

[Sarza]

I know it just never fails t cheer me up on a crappy day lol

[Abmis]

Nathan wailing while being taken to the police car: "Why am a guy?"

 

Good question, Nathan.

[jacksgirl]

Also, "Well, Janelle " always makes me smile.

[Katt]

"So, I met a guy." - Jenelle, at the start of almost every season. 

[lovesnark]

There's a deleted scene with Nathan talking to his friend about trying to get custody of Kaiser. He tells his friend that he  knows there's child 'neglection' going on. Oh, Nathan! We can all see the there's a ton of neglection going on with the little guy. I hope your lawyer knows the proper terms for what Jenelle is doing and fills you in on  how to pronounce them.

[BitterApple]

"You've got to hide the coke!!!"

[neatoburrito]

It's already been mentioned but I laugh every time I think about Babs saying "I don't appreciate you having sex in my house" and Jenelle standing there with her huge belly and replying, "Mom guess what, nothing worse can happen mom."

 

And who can forget, "Well Jenelle, I seen you with Kieffah..."

[lovesnark]

"We're gettin along real good. We don't argue all the time"- Jenelle, every season, every new guy.

 

"Ice and beer" - The brain trust that is Uncle Dave when asked about what's on his bucket list.

[yuriathewitch]

Pretty much all of Jenelle's voiceovers are amazing. "Kieffer and I have been arguing a lot, so I dropped him off at the sweepstakes to go gambling while I try to get some schoolwork done."

[ReadMeLattice]

Pretty much all of Jenelle's voiceovers are amazing. "Kieffer and I have been arguing a lot, so I dropped him off at the sweepstakes to go gambling while I try to get some schoolwork done."

This just changed my life.