formerlyfreedom September 29, 2014 Share September 29, 2014 The place to share what Brooklyn Nine-Nine has given us; the quotes, the images, the GIFs! Thanks to Skyfall for the suggestion of adding JPGs and GIFs to our collection of favorite things from B99! Link to comment
MarshallB6 September 30, 2014 Share September 30, 2014 No lie... I came here to check for a post on the RICO quote, and lo and behold, it's the thread title! I laughed out loud; deadpan Andre Braugher is hysterical. 1 Link to comment
Tabbyclaw September 30, 2014 Share September 30, 2014 The title quote reminded me of Ben's response on Parks and Rec when Andy thought Buckingham Palace was Hogwarts. "Hogwarts isn't a real place. You know that, right? It's important to me that you know that." 7 Link to comment
Princess Sparkle October 1, 2014 Share October 1, 2014 I really loved: "Are you Jakey Lady-hands or Jakey the Jew?" "I never thought I'd say this, but I hope it's Jakey the Jew" Then two minutes later.... "See? Lady hands!" 4 Link to comment
bethy October 6, 2014 Share October 6, 2014 Rosa: Where were you? This is chaos! Gina's been filing evidence by perp hotness. Boyle: It's my ex-wife Eleanor's engagement party. I can't go alone - I'm worried it might seem a little pathetic. Rosa: Yeah. If only you could've gone with your sister. 4 Link to comment
hoodooznoodooz October 7, 2014 Share October 7, 2014 Boyle: It's my ex-wife Eleanor's engagement party. I can't go alone - I'm worried it might seem a little pathetic. Rosa: Yeah. If only you could've gone with your sister. Rosa is the only character I dislike (she reminds me of Nelson/The Simpsons), but this line made me laugh. 1 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo October 7, 2014 Share October 7, 2014 Wuntch: You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter!Holt: You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter. 2 Link to comment
Rinaldo October 7, 2014 Share October 7, 2014 The initial vasectomy conversation. Terry: "Thanks, guys, that's enough, I don't need any more input." Rosa: "Neither does your wife, I guess." [she and Jake high-five.] Jake: "Look, you guys, if the sergeant wants to chop off his penis, that is his choice." Terry: "That's not what a vasectomy is! If you guys don't get back to work, I'm gonna start firing detectives." Amy [from across the room]: "And blanks! ... sorry, I just never think of jokes." Terry: "Anybody else? This is your last chance." Gina: "God, no need to be so testes." Rosa: "Guess you won't be manning the tip line." Boyle: "Sergeant, is this gonna go on your spermanent record?" Jake: "Now playing: Scrotal Recall!" 5 Link to comment
Princess Sparkle October 7, 2014 Share October 7, 2014 Wuntch: You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter! Holt: You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter. What made that line so freaking funny to me was Andre Braugher's intonation - it was so serious, which made it even more hysterical. 2 Link to comment
amensisterfriend October 8, 2014 Share October 8, 2014 As with most comedies with stellar casts, it's all in the delivery, but I was just rewatching Unsolvable and somehow love when Jake's like "Cool motive! Still murder..." I also love: Boyle: “I know. But Vivian needs to make this move for her career. And I’m excited to go. I mean, suburban Ottawa’s great. It was everything Brooklyn does.”Peralta: “Really?”Boyle: “Yes. Other than my job and my friends and my family, you, interesting people, museums, restaurants and every other reason that I have to live.” Holt: “A real leader doesn’t zap people when they mess up. They teach them how to fix the problem. I think you’re a leader. So act like one.” Diaz: “I’ll try. I’m sorry.”Holt: “Please, Diaz. No need to make a scene.” ...and, you know, pretty much everything Holt says and does and nearly everything Amy says and does and... :) 3 Link to comment
formerlyfreedom October 12, 2014 Author Share October 12, 2014 Gina: "No, Charles, just because we have SECRET, SHAMEFUL sex, does not mean we are friends." Boyle: "Forget friends. let's go as bone bros." Gina: "Ewww" *slap* "I didn't strike you when you said 'knocking boots' but bone bros? I cannot abide." 1 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo October 13, 2014 Share October 13, 2014 Holt: You're going to fold your hands in your lap like a pervert? 1 Link to comment
bethy October 13, 2014 Share October 13, 2014 Jake: I don't have feelings for Amy any more, so. Time for me to get out there and spread my wings... Boyle: ...legs Jake: Get out there and spread my legs? Boyle: Well, either way... Jake: No! Not either way. Only wings. 5 Link to comment
DXD526 October 15, 2014 Share October 15, 2014 (edited) Peralta: Three hours with no Holt or Terry? Do you know what that means? Boyle: Makeovers? Gina (to Boyle): I'll see you tonight at my place? God, I hate you. Don't be late. Edited October 15, 2014 by DXD526 Link to comment
bethy October 20, 2014 Share October 20, 2014 Jake giving out code names: ...Amy, the Hall Monitor. Amy: Yeeeeeaaaaah. Suck it! Jake: Scully and Hitchcock, I'm just going to call you your real name so you don't get confused. Hitchcock: Smart. Scully: What? 7 Link to comment
Glory October 20, 2014 Share October 20, 2014 Gina: "It's not my fault that my life is literally a Step Up movie." 2 Link to comment
bethy November 3, 2014 Share November 3, 2014 Jake: You know how I'm kind of a sexy bad boy who rides motorcycles into work and is always breaking rules in the name of justice? Amy: I don't like where this is going. Holt: Is that a promise or just another lollipop no one's ever going to lick? Jake: Let's see. Terry wants to send his twins to private school but on his salary that's difficult. Holt: Mm. Jake: Plus, with twins one of them is always evil. So. It's Cagney. Holt: I've heard enough! Please return your guest pajamas, your guest toothbrush, and guest slippers and get out of here. 1 Link to comment
Kromm December 3, 2014 Share December 3, 2014 From S02.E09: The Road Trip -- A very "New York" joke... Diaz is sick but doesn't want to acknowledge it. Terry takes it upon himself to do something. Terry: "At least let me buy you some Matzo Ball soup. It's very soothing... you know what, I'm gonna go to the Deli anyway. Terry loves Kreplach!" 4 Link to comment
fastiller December 3, 2014 Share December 3, 2014 Terry: "At least let me buy you some Matzo Ball soup. It's very soothing... you know what, I'm gonna go to the Deli anyway. Terry loves Kreplach!" Hes' got a point: matzo ball soup is very soothing. 1 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo December 8, 2014 Share December 8, 2014 (edited) Gina: Presents is like old person third base. Boyle: No, that's rubbing their butts together. Waiter: Caesar salad with tater tots instead of croutons. Edited April 30, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade Link to comment
bosawks December 10, 2014 Share December 10, 2014 Boyle: Are you going to kill my dad? Link to comment
Loandbehold January 7, 2015 Share January 7, 2015 From Beach House - Six drink Amy: So, Gina, you saw your sasquatch. Was it everything you dreamt it would be? Gina: Oh, Six Drink Amy, it's what dreamts are made of. I may not have gotten the exact wording, but I missed Gina's line the first time I watched the episode. When I rewatched, it cracked me up. Link to comment
ZootSuitWyatt January 7, 2015 Share January 7, 2015 I think they called them "drumps," but definitely a great line. 1 Link to comment
jhlipton January 7, 2015 Share January 7, 2015 Mmmmm... Kreplach..... Jewish gyoza! 1 Link to comment
BabyVegas January 8, 2015 Share January 8, 2015 Holt: I understand the logic of this game. I tried explaining to a friend why this was so hilarious but Andre Braugher's utterly deadpan delivery is the difference maker. 2 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 12, 2015 Share January 12, 2015 Rosa: Dude, I'm not gonna buy a pot. We're not married. 2 Link to comment
DXD526 January 12, 2015 Share January 12, 2015 Holt: "I'm a poet, and I didn't even know I was rhyming those words." Gina: "You should be wailing, you stone cold bitch!" 2 Link to comment
meep.meep January 13, 2015 Share January 13, 2015 Ebony Falcon needs to read Go Dogs Go! 1 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 (edited) Holt: Both of you requested to have this Saturday off but I need one of you to work. Scully: Oh, I can take that shift. Holt: The last time you worked a Saturday, you watched cartoons the entire time. Scully: Well that's when they're on. Gina: I hate the ocean. That's where that stuck up bitch Rose let Leo die. There was plenty of room on that door. Holt: On your personality test, you said your favorite shape was a square and yet now when you're given a choice between round cookies and square blondies, you opt for the cookie. You opt for the circle. Gina: Yes, but it's not about shapes. I'm choosing a cookie over a blondie. I'm whimsical but I'm not a lunatic. Edited April 30, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade 4 Link to comment
Inquisitionist February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 Holt: The last time you worked a Saturday, you watched cartoons the entire time. Scully: Well that's when they're on. I died at this! 3 Link to comment
Traveller519 February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 (edited) "You are such a waste of muscles!" "Normal? Take it again!"... "Just to be clear this test could theoretically reveal no faults at all" Edited February 9, 2015 by Traveller519 1 Link to comment
Princess Sparkle February 25, 2015 Share February 25, 2015 I laughed and laughed when Wunch was giving Holt his medal, he accepted it like Jake told him to, then yelled his insult (which for the life of me, I can't remember) and kept yelling "HA! Had it both ways! I regret nothing." Andre Braugher is everything. 1 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo March 16, 2015 Share March 16, 2015 Holt: Sarcasm, the coward's lie. 3 Link to comment
DXD526 March 16, 2015 Share March 16, 2015 Amy (to Jake): "I can't believe I'm about to say this, I really wish you could come look at urine with us, but I can't." Link to comment
bethy April 27, 2015 Share April 27, 2015 (edited) "Stop pointing at it." Edited April 27, 2015 by bethy 2 Link to comment
Bort April 27, 2015 Share April 27, 2015 Holt: Are your bosoms… tender? Rosa: I'm going to pretend you didn't ask me that. Holt: Are your senses… heightened? Rosa: I said I think I'm pregnant, not bitten by a radioactive spider. 7 Link to comment
DeepPoet117 April 27, 2015 Share April 27, 2015 Holt: Amy says we should start dinner without her. Then she writes whatevs colon hyphen close parentheses. 3 Link to comment
Ms Blue Jay April 27, 2015 Share April 27, 2015 Rosa: Where were you? This is chaos! Gina's been filing evidence by perp hotness. Haha, this is still amazing. 1 Link to comment
bethy May 4, 2015 Share May 4, 2015 Rosa: I don't ask people out; I just tell 'em where we're going. 1 Link to comment
ErinW May 4, 2015 Share May 4, 2015 Not new, but I just remembered it today: Diaz (to Santiago): Why so excited? Gina: Did you make the cover of Hair-Pulled-Back Magazine? 3 Link to comment
Maximum Taco May 18, 2015 Share May 18, 2015 Holt: Amy says we should start dinner without her. Then she writes whatevs colon hyphen close parentheses. Any time Holt uses his cellphone it's awesome. Holt: I don't always understand Peralta's texts. He says they're still waiting on the lab and 'its allz good,' allz with a z, then a box with a question mark inside, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, and yet another box with a question mark, then a box with a question mark. What does that mean? Terry: It means you don't have emojis on your phone. 5 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo May 18, 2015 Share May 18, 2015 Holt: Wuntch isn't some invincible succubus. She's a regular succubus. 3 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo May 18, 2015 Share May 18, 2015 (edited) Boyle: I know you don't like anyone wishing you a happy birthday so crappy day to you. Rosa: Still too much. Boyle: I assume you're not doing anything to celebrate tonight. Rosa: Anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell. Holt: Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves. Wuntch: Calling me the devil? How original, Raymond. Holt: Actually I was calling you a goat, you goat. Rosa: I'm still super mad at you. Boyle: Like how you're still super mad at Gilmore Girls for how the finale went down? Rosa: I just want to see Lorelei happy. Boyle: Happy bday, Ro Ro! Wuntch: I'm going to ship [Peralta] off to Staten Island. Hope he likes breaking up tanning salon fistfights. Edited April 30, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade 5 Link to comment
DXD526 May 18, 2015 Share May 18, 2015 Gina: "Always say your insults to someone's face, no paper trail." 2 Link to comment
possibilities May 20, 2015 Share May 20, 2015 Rosa: I just want to see Lorelei happy. I'm still reeling from the revelation that Rosa watched Gilmore Girls. "This is a work function!" has become the funniest thing I can think of, which no one would understand out of context. 1 Link to comment
swimmyfish May 21, 2015 Share May 21, 2015 Any time Holt uses his cellphone it's awesome. Holt: I don't always understand Peralta's texts. He says they're still waiting on the lab and 'its allz good,' allz with a z, then a box with a question mark inside, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, and yet another box with a question mark, then a box with a question mark. What does that mean? Terry: It means you don't have emojis on your phone. I really hope someone writes a thesis someday on why this joke is perfect. 5 Link to comment
DXD526 June 17, 2015 Share June 17, 2015 Jake (to Terry, while doing Terry's torturous gym work-out): "So, how much blood do you usually have in your mouth when you do this?" 3 Link to comment
DeepPoet117 September 28, 2015 Share September 28, 2015 Terry (to Rosa): I know you're not a toddler because my toddlers know that stupid is a no-no word. 2 Link to comment
Maximum Taco September 30, 2015 Share September 30, 2015 (edited) The last words of Capt. Seth Dozerman "Tell my wife... that I love her... work ethic." Edited September 30, 2015 by Maximum Taco 2 Link to comment
formerlyfreedom October 5, 2015 Author Share October 5, 2015 "The alcohol has rendered me a simpleton." Oh, Holt. Never change. 5 Link to comment
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