S18.E12: I Just Wanna Eat you up

[kristen111]

I can barely look at Michelle anymore.  She is just a nasty person to David.  If she doesn’t start acting decent to him, she should just get off the show.  Every remark she has towards David is a chop.  He’s a fool to take it.  Doesn’t he have any pride?  What is wrong with him?

[kristen111]

Madison is not interested in Alan.  Is this “Married at First Sight” or a Therapy Session?  Tear sessions all over the place.

[Crashcourse]

I'm sick and tired of the sob stories.  

[kristen111]

Just now, Crashcourse said:

I'm sick and tired of the sob stories.  

Me too.  I’m thinking of bailing.  

[Crashcourse]

Emem and Ikechi can't stand each other.  They need to get into a water fight, get it out of their systems, and then walk away from each other--for good. 

[kristen111]

11 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Emem and Ikechi can't stand each other.  They need to get into a water fight, get it out of their systems, and then walk away from each other--for good. 

Looks like they already did.  He was a nut job from the beginning and came on for exposure only probably.

[atomic]

Detective Michelle is actually funny. She can't stand him, but she'll be damned if he cheats on her. 🤣 

[Madding crowd]

From the visit with Michelle’s family and friend it seems like she has always been a hard to get along with sourpuss. She is not ready for marriage. Madison will never be attracted to Allen, I like her a bit better than Michelle but she also feels like she is better than her spouse. 
Emem should tell the show she is not putting up with being treated poorly by Ikechi and move on. Juan and Karla are also in the friend zone-there is no flirting or romance at all. Camille and Thomas are doing well for now but she comes across as kind of cold to me and like Michelle and Madison, thinks she is better than her husband.
 

 

[Jeanne222]

So no sex from these ten!  Since no-one is going to say yes  why not have some fun!

David knows Michelle has no romantic feelings for him and I think he's just playing her the last few weeks.  I think that message was purposely sent to her to make her go nuts.  Which she did.  I also had to laugh when he told her about all the Tinder ladies he's 'friends' with!  Lol. He's loving it!

Juan and Carla are kind of sad.  He's a real cold fish and doesn't know how to make a woman feel loved by touch and sweet words.  Carla is trying..in vein!

Allen...Madison left him a long time ago.  She's way too much woman for him.  He needs a kind gentle soul.  What were the experts thinking.

 

[princelina]

15 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Allen...Madison left him a long time ago.  She's way too much woman for him.  He needs a kind gentle soul.  What were the experts thinking.

That's "experts" if you please 😄. I'm sure they were thinking that matching childhood trauma would make them love each other.  Notice that their "advice" is always discuss your childhood trauma, write letters to your childhood selves and share them, blah blah blah blah blah.  Never "go out and have a fun day".  Now WE may be able to have a little fun if we drink every time someone says "vulnerable", but none of them ever will.

[Mr. Miner]

10 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Looks like they already did.  He was a nut job from the beginning and came on for exposure only probably.

If he wanted to expose how much of a total asshole he is, this has been a great success for him.

[Empress1]

“I was talking about food!” Come on now. The better play would have been to tell her he drunk-messaged her. “Yeah, sorry. I was drunk. I know you wouldn’t like that, but I drunkenly fired it off without thinking. My bad.” Nothing is going to win Michelle over at this point (she’d probably huff about him being drunk), but at least David wouldn’t be insulting her intelligence.

[Retired at last]

Yeah, I think I am out, too. I am not interested in watching the show next week and seeing how "fun and kinky" Camille is. And seeing Karla lay there while Juan smacks her with a rose. None of these people are physically interested in their spouses. I give them credit for not jumping into bed just because they are "married." 

@Jeanne222, the only couple who is having sex is Camille and Tom. I now get the impression that is why SHE got married - to have a constant source to let her express her desires. I still don't like her with Tom. He is gentle, she is not. Again, she is only shown to be interested in herself and wants him to make the compromises. If they say yes on D-Day, I am guessing they will be done before the Reunion. Or else, she will cheat on him. I am not seeing a great love there.

Michelle is so determined to prove that David is lying, she is making herself look foolish. Being right is more important to her than having a caring husband. She hates him and won't even be in the same room with him unless they are filming, so why does she care what he does? She doesn't want him, but doesn't want anyone else to, either. Of course he was lying! And not well. I don't support cheating, but there is clearly nothing for him to be cheating on - there is no relationship. Just hostility.

Madison isn't nice to Allen, either. She doesn't want him, so let him go. At least the descriptions of how many days have moved from Day XX of marriage to XX Days before Decision Day, which means it is coming to an end, hopefully.

Karla just looks sad and pathetic. He isn't interested in her at all, and she just doesn't understand why. I am sure that when they were selected, they were intended to be the bombshell, hot and sexy couple. Which they would have been if there was even a spark of chemistry. 

I am truly tired of seeing the smug look on Emem's face as he talks at her. She can't possibly want him, so she needs to get in there and tell him to get out so he isn't just leaving her again. She doesn't look strong - she looks desperate. And NO ONE should be desperate for him.

I wasn't nearly as impressed with the guest on Afterparty as I was last week with her husband. Next week, it will be back to 3 cast members - David, and I don't remember the others (Karla, maybe, and Madison?).

ETA - PLEASE, no more sob stories. Or family crap.  I don't care about these people and if they all have these back stories that show how broken they are, they shouldn't have been selected without completing therapy. This is not interesting or entertaining.

Edited Yest. at 03:38 PM by Retired at last

[atomic]

9 hours ago, princelina said:

That's "experts" if you please 😄. I'm sure they were thinking that matching childhood trauma would make them love each other.  Notice that their "advice" is always discuss your childhood trauma, write letters to your childhood selves and share them, blah blah blah blah blah.  Never "go out and have a fun day".  Now WE may be able to have a little fun if we drink every time someone says "vulnerable", but none of them ever will.

Let's be fair. A couple seasons ago they also suggested watching Driving Miss Daisy in an effort to ignite sparks between Gina and Clint. Because that's exactly the movie a couple entrenched in the friend zone needs to get the romantic juices flowing. 🤦‍♀️

[princelina]

2 hours ago, atomic said:

Let's be fair. A couple seasons ago they also suggested watching Driving Miss Daisy in an effort to ignite sparks between Gina and Clint. Because that's exactly the movie a couple entrenched in the friend zone needs to get the romantic juices flowing. 🤦‍♀️

Hahahahahaha!  And that's the number one couple I would have advised to get drunk and make out and see what happens!  I'm no "expert", but I advised it once in the past and that couple ended up getting married 😃

[Chatty Cake]

Did any of you tell your turkey sandwich at lunch that it was so fine? Lol. I laughed so hard watching David in this episode. He’s hilarious. I agree @Retired at last, there’s nothing to cheat on. Michelle admitted she doesn’t spend time with him on weekends so while it was amusing, it’s not exactly a betrayal.

Juan is a cold fish. Karla doesn’t want to work nor does she want to clean the apartment. I don’t know why they are pretending.

I think Thomas does like Camille but there is something missing. Her body language doesn’t say that she’s excited by her new husband at all.

I felt for Madison a bit more this episode but on the other hand she seems to be opening up for the cameras and not Allen. He is very aware of this and is losing interest in pretending.

Why are Ikechi and Emem still filming? He admitted to despising her. Why won’t she speak up for herself? 

 

 

[Madding crowd]

I was curious why Thomas’ birth mom only talked about him and not his twin brother. Maybe they don’t have a relationship? It also seems like Camille keeps saying she wants a more dominant man but also seems to want to be dominant herself. I had high hopes for them and I don’t dislike Camille but I think she is like Madison and Michelle in thinking her husband is not at her level. She might give it a chance and change her mind though.

I wonder what kind of woman Juan would fall for, he seems very cold so I can’t picture him being affectionate or romantic. I think Karla wants someone to pay the bills; she doesn’t seem overly fond of him either.

[Shauna]

Camille does like her matching outfits, doesn't she?

Garanimals????

[kristen111]

8 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Yeah, I think I am out, too. I am not interested in watching the show next week and seeing how "fun and kinky" Camille is. And seeing Karla lay there while Juan smacks her with a rose. None of these people are physically interested in their spouses. I give them credit for not jumping into bed just because they are "married." 

@Jeanne222, the only couple who is having sex is Camille and Tom. I now get the impression that is why SHE got married - to have a constant source to let her express her desires. I still don't like her with Tom. He is gentle, she is not. Again, she is only shown to be interested in herself and wants him to make the compromises. If they say yes on D-Day, I am guessing they will be done before the Reunion. Or else, she will cheat on him. I am not seeing a great love there.

Michelle is so determined to prove that David is lying, she is making herself look foolish. Being right is more important to her than having a caring husband. She hates him and won't even be in the same room with him unless they are filming, so why does she care what he does? She doesn't want him, but doesn't want anyone else to, either. Of course he was lying! And not well. I don't support cheating, but there is clearly nothing for him to be cheating on - there is no relationship. Just hostility.

Madison isn't nice to Allen, either. She doesn't want him, so let him go. At least the descriptions of how many days have moved from Day XX of marriage to XX Days before Decision Day, which means it is coming to an end, hopefully.

Karla just looks sad and pathetic. He isn't interested in her at all, and she just doesn't understand why. I am sure that when they were selected, they were intended to be the bombshell, hot and sexy couple. Which they would have been if there was even a spark of chemistry. 

I am truly tired of seeing the smug look on Emem's face as he talks at her. She can't possibly want him, so she needs to get in there and tell him to get out so he isn't just leaving her again. She doesn't look strong - she looks desperate. And NO ONE should be desperate for him.

I wasn't nearly as impressed with the guest on Afterparty as I was last week with her husband. Next week, it will be back to 3 cast members - David, and I don't remember the others (Karla, maybe, and Madison?).

ETA - PLEASE, no more sob stories. Or family crap.  I don't care about these people and if they all have these back stories that show how broken they are, they shouldn't have been selected without completing therapy. This is not interesting or entertaining.

They all can’t stand one another except for Camille and what’s his face.  I feel like sending her a few tops.  Hers are horrible.  Production must have gave them all a few extra bucks to stay the duration.  Horrible season.  @ 

Edited 17 hours ago by kristen111
@Retired at last. I gave you a ❤️. Don’t know what happened to it.

[JenE4]

Before David came out with his excuse of texting his cousin about what she was eating, I was going to joke that David’s excuse is that he’s not cheating—he was just texting a rotisserie chicken.

oh, man. This episode was depressing. Kind of hard to snark on these people when they’re sharing their childhood traumas. Okay, you all get a pass this week. But next week it’s back on! We’ll double down on the jokes and criticisms to make up for it!

Though, Ikeche is the exception because he hasn’t shared a damn thing and is still being his same difficult (to put it more mildly than he deserves) self. So he tells his friend that Emem should get to know him by observing him, not asking “aggressive” questions, but now he’s not going to be around Emem nor talk to her outside of his own timelines. So, there’s no way for Emem to get to know you, nor you her. Just put this poor woman out of her misery and choose divorce right now. Better yet, Emem you stand up for yourself and shut this down now. Though, go ahead and let this man put the controlling fool he is on full display. Sit back and let yourself be the “winner” in the court of public opinion.

Hmm. Surprise, surprise. There’s no photo from cousin Denise of the food. Michelle told her friend that he met up with the couples that night, so this seems to lend credence to the theory that David and Madison are the “couple swappers” having an “affair.” Oh, he’s still talking to Tinder dates, including bringing Danielle “a girl he dated on Tinder” coffee this morning?! Well, that doesn’t sound like dated past tense. It sounds like you admitted to having a coffee date TODAY. Sounds like she might be the scrumptious one that David wants to gobble up! “That wasn’t established” that we’d stop talking to dates! The preview—oop! Madison’s awkward laugh when Michelle told the girls about the text! It is totally her!!

[Hip-to-be-Square]

The sob stories and childhood trauma letters need to stop on this show.  The sad childhood letters took up most of the episode! I can sit through the sob stories on The Bachelor/Bachelorette since they're 5 minutes or less and there's usually a hot make out and a private concert after 😅.  Lastly, Ikechi needs to have that mole on his mouth lopped off. 

Edited 15 hours ago by Hip-to-be-Square

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Michelle is so determined to prove that David is lying, she is making herself look foolish. Being right is more important to her than having a caring husband. She hates him and won't even be in the same room with him unless they are filming, so why does she care what he does? She doesn't want him, but doesn't want anyone else to, either. Of course he was lying! And not well. I don't support cheating, but there is clearly nothing for him to be cheating on - there is no relationship. Just hostility.

I disagree. I don't think that Michelle ever gave David a chance and that's on her. But they are married and he is saying that he is giving the relationship a chance so that is what he is cheating on. He can live without sex or dating while they are in this "experiment." He blathers on and on about how important honesty is to him but I believe he is lying and that is wrong. He can't stand on his high horse about Michelle disrespecting him and never giving her a chance if he isn't going to own disrespecting her by cheating on her and lying about it. 

Somewhat related, I thought Michelle is back to killing it on her AfterParty looks. Loved her green dress and thought her hair and makeup were on point as well.

Quote

The sob stories and childhood trauma letters need to stop on this show.

I don't necessarily enjoy them but I did feel like I understood them better and got to know them better through this. I also particularly felt for Juan when he talked about seeing recent immigrants working so hard and feeling guilty about his own life comforts. I don't love Juan but I'll admit that he is a hard worker, loves his parents and seems genuinely grateful for all that he has. 

Quote

Ikechi needs to have that mole on his mouth lopped off. 

FIFY.

Every week I loathe him more. What an asshat.

[Alexander Pope]

I don't think Emem seems desperate at all.  As JenE4 said, she is letting Ikechi dig his own grave by staying poised and polite while he acts like an asshole.  When she told the camera that she was going to let him make the effort now, since he didn't want her to act like a wife, she knew exactly what she was doing.  She owes him nothing, and she will soon see the back of him and come out smelling like roses.  Or at least that's her plan.

I also thought that Carla's response to Juan's crying when reading his letter was odd.  She sat there sleepy as always until he was finished, then gave him a perfunctory/listless hug.  Even Madison was more affectionate to Allan when he was reading his letter! Carla and Juan have negative chemistry.

Edited 15 hours ago by Alexander Pope

[Alexander Pope]

Also did anyone notice that even the friend who was working out with Ikechi thought he was full of it? He tried briefly to defend Emem and realized right quick that it wasn't worth it.

[princelina]

I rarely fast forward through things when I'm watching, but one thing I always FF through is the "letters to my younger self (and that's before I knew Juan was going to write to THREE of his younger selves, and cry whilst reading them aloud! 😃). So once I read on here that sob stories were the name of the game tonight I decided to watch, and got through it in less than an hour!

My sibling has always been a huge liar, and told me years ago that you "deny til you die". - clearly David understand that too. 😄

Ikechi continues to be a horrible person - in addition to calling her despicable, he called her a fool.  I agree that she's just working out her paycheck and allowing him to show the world what an ass he is.  And yes - his friend sees it too.  I hope she rips him a new one on decision day though! 😃

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I agree that she's just working out her paycheck and allowing him to show the world what an ass he is.

She doesn't even have to work that hard. She says so much as hello and he blooms into full asshat mood. Just sit back and let the bad behavior flow.

Quote

Also did anyone notice that even the friend who was working out with Ikechi thought he was full of it?

I did and I giggled when the friend said "maybe she's just trying to get to know you." That's the problem - Emem is getting to know Ikechi and he is a dick.

[princelina]

55 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

She doesn't even have to work that hard. She says so much as hello and he blooms into full asshat mood. Just sit back and let the bad behavior flow.

Haha I think that's hard work!  I'd love to see a thought bubble over her head 😂

[SummerDreams]

On 1/22/2025 at 4:33 AM, Crashcourse said:

Emem and Ikechi can't stand each other.  They need to get into a water fight, get it out of their systems, and then walk away from each other--for good. 

Oh God I thought you said "for food" and I got excited like David does when he sees food. 👀

[shok]

13 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

I was curious why Thomas’ birth mom only talked about him and not his twin brother. Maybe they don’t have a relationship?

Oh, good catch! That slipped right by me but you're right, I wonder what the story is there that the twin brother was never mentioned. I'd love to know.

[SummerDreams]

I suggest you listen to Aysha and Jason talking about the text situation at the start of their podcast, it's really funny :P

https://robhasawebsite.com/a-perfect-match-rhapup-mafs-18-ep-12-recap/

[Jeanne222]

12 hours ago, JenE4 said:

 

Hmm. Surprise, surprise. There’s no photo from cousin Denise of the food. Michelle told her friend that he met up with the couples that night, so this seems to lend credence to the theory that David and Madison are the “couple swappers” having an “affair.” Oh, he’s still talking to Tinder dates, including bringing Danielle “a girl he dated on Tinder” coffee this morning?! Well, that doesn’t sound like dated past tense. It sounds like you admitted to having a coffee date TODAY. Sounds like she might be the scrumptious one that David wants to gobble up! “That wasn’t established” that we’d stop talking to dates! The preview—oop! Madison’s awkward laugh when Michelle told the girls about the text! It is totally her!!

I don't think it's Madison.  I think its Karla!