Except Chelsea (and Cole)

[blubld43]

11 minutes ago, Lemur said:

I'm nearly pissing myself at the vision of Cole-as-Gumby shuffling off the toilet to go talk to Donna.  

Came back to check the Jenelle thread and saw this. I'm going to be inappropriately laughing all day! The visual of Chelsea standing outside the bathroom, "making" Cole get off the toilet! "Cole-uh! Make Donna go awayyy-uh."

[TimeToCancelTM]

4 hours ago, blubld43 said:

Came back to check the Jenelle thread and saw this. I'm going to be inappropriately laughing all day! The visual of Chelsea standing outside the bathroom, "making" Cole get off the toilet! "Cole-uh! Make Donna go awayyy-uh."

LMAO! I love the adding the “uh” at the end lol I never realized that’s exactly how she talks! 

[TheRealT]

On 3/23/2019 at 6:41 PM, druzy said:

Wow @Rebecca thanks for the information! Why is Chelsea even mentioning adoption?

When Cole came home with Aubree did anyone else notice that Aubree looked like she felt like she was in trouble? It was after Chelsea said Aubree will you go downstairs for a minute and Aubree gets up and she kind of looks at the camera. 

Watching this clip again, it's weird how Chelsea is kind of stern with Aubree, giving her a flat, unfriendly "Hi" before quickly telling her to go downstairs. Once Aubree leaves, Chelsea lights up smiling like, "Ok, give me all the juicy details!" to Cole. Then they both seem pretty self-satisfied while rehashing how horrible the Linds are.

That kind of encapsulates what bothers me most about the "Cole wants to adopt Aubree/the Linds are evil" storyline. C&C are just waaaaay too jubilant and self-congratulatory about it all. They have effectively put Aubree in the middle of a battle between them and the Linds and they're even effectively villifying her for feeling conflicted/loyal to the Linds. Chelsea's "Don't lie!" while she was grilling Aubree about Donna and Adam's lunch visit bothered me a lot too. Aubree shouldn't even be put in the position of having to "lie" to Chelsea because Chelsea shouldn't be asking her questions that make her uncomfortable and/or should stop if/when she thinks Aubree feels uncomfortable.

If Chelsea has questions about Donna/Adam, she should go to them, not Aubree. She's too immature to talk to Donna directly (IMO, for very lame reasons), so she can't address issues with Donna and chooses to put Aubree in a bad situation instead. It really sucks. C&C are pretty much disregarding Aubree's feelings in their quest to get their "perfect family" by eliminating Adam/the Linds. They say that's not what they want, but it's kind of obvious that they do. I don't think either of them has the guts to stand up and say that out loud, but they seem very open to creating conditions that might lead to that outcome. I think their ultimate dream would be that Aubree decided that she wanted Cole to adopt her, that happened, and Aubree gradually grew away from the Linds and got more attached to Cole's family. C&C would probably be "fine" with Aubree visiting the Linds a couple times a year or meeting them for lunch occasionally, but I think they'd be thrilled if she came to see herself as more of a DeBoer than a Lind and came to share C&C's opinion that the Linds are kind of interlopers in the Awesome DeBoer Pinterest Fantasy Life.

[druzy]

[Christina87]

2 hours ago, TheRealT said:

Watching this clip again, it's weird how Chelsea is kind of stern with Aubree, giving her a flat, unfriendly "Hi" before quickly telling her to go downstairs. Once Aubree leaves, Chelsea lights up smiling like, "Ok, give me all the juicy details!" to Cole. Then they both seem pretty self-satisfied while rehashing how horrible the Linds are.

That kind of encapsulates what bothers me most about the "Cole wants to adopt Aubree/the Linds are evil" storyline. C&C are just waaaaay too jubilant and self-congratulatory about it all. They have effectively put Aubree in the middle of a battle between them and the Linds and they're even effectively villifying her for feeling conflicted/loyal to the Linds. Chelsea's "Don't lie!" while she was grilling Aubree about Donna and Adam's lunch visit bothered me a lot too. Aubree shouldn't even be put in the position of having to "lie" to Chelsea because Chelsea shouldn't be asking her questions that make her uncomfortable and/or should stop if/when she thinks Aubree feels uncomfortable.

If Chelsea has questions about Donna/Adam, she should go to them, not Aubree. She's too immature to talk to Donna directly (IMO, for very lame reasons), so she can't address issues with Donna and chooses to put Aubree in a bad situation instead. It really sucks. C&C are pretty much disregarding Aubree's feelings in their quest to get their "perfect family" by eliminating Adam/the Linds. They say that's not what they want, but it's kind of obvious that they do. I don't think either of them has the guts to stand up and say that out loud, but they seem very open to creating conditions that might lead to that outcome. I think their ultimate dream would be that Aubree decided that she wanted Cole to adopt her, that happened, and Aubree gradually grew away from the Linds and got more attached to Cole's family. C&C would probably be "fine" with Aubree visiting the Linds a couple times a year or meeting them for lunch occasionally, but I think they'd be thrilled if she came to see herself as more of a DeBoer than a Lind and came to share C&C's opinion that the Linds are kind of interlopers in the Awesome DeBoer Pinterest Fantasy Life.

Yes!!! And i hate when people make excuses for Chelsea not speaking to Donna. "Ohhhh, she might assault her! She's scared for her life. Donna's delusional! Her son is an addict!" At least until Cole came around, Chelsea had a good relationship with Donna, and I'm sorry, but I don't see this Midwestern grandma as being a threat to her safety. The worst that will happen is she'll say something Chelsea doesn't want to hear...ooooh, how terrible! I think donna is delusional about some things, but Chelsea sitting down with her and talking politely would go a long way to help them see eye to eye, IMO. 

[Mkay]

13 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Yes!!! And i hate when people make excuses for Chelsea not speaking to Donna. "Ohhhh, she might assault her! She's scared for her life. Donna's delusional! Her son is an addict!" At least until Cole came around, Chelsea had a good relationship with Donna, and I'm sorry, but I don't see this Midwestern grandma as being a threat to her safety. The worst that will happen is she'll say something Chelsea doesn't want to hear...ooooh, how terrible! I think donna is delusional about some things, but Chelsea sitting down with her and talking politely would go a long way to help them see eye to eye, IMO. 

You’d say the same about mine when you meet her. She puts on a very good show.  She’s been kicked out of every church in town for causing drama among members.  But she is super sweet and very likable at first.  I doubt Chelsea is scared of Donna. But little old mother in laws can be psycho and abusive. 

Edited March 30, 2019 by Mkay

[Christina87]

35 minutes ago, Mkay said:

You’d say the same about mine when you forget meet her. She puts on a very good show.  She’s been kicked out of every church in town for causing drama among members.  But she is super sweet and very likable at first.  I doubt Chelsea is scared of Donna. But little old mother in laws can be psycho and abusive. 

I hate that you had to go through that! I had a boyfriend (my adam) whose mom was an awful person too, and hated me through and through before we even met! She thought her little baby was too young to have a girlfriend, and I was some crazy schemer hoping to get pregnant by him so he'd marry me and I'd get his family's money. All that was stupid because I would literally rather have died than have a baby at that age, annnd I could have said the same thing about him in regards to the money! So I definitely get where you're coming from, and you had it much, much worse!

I'm going to assume for now that donna (though she absolutely could be a drama lover and have enemies) isn't a real threat, because it seems like if she had ever really hurt Chelsea, emotionally or otherwise, chels would have no problem dishing the dirt. We've never heard a bad word about her from anyone, including Randy, and I don't see any of them holding their tongues if she sucked. Of course, it seems obvious that she is in denial about adam, and probably coddled him, but I'm going to assume that Chelsea would be safe and emerge in one piece if she talked to her. She might even be happier!

ETA: I don't at all think Chelsea is used to talking to any adult who doesn't have a vested interest in kissing her ass. Randy gave into anything she wanted, while Mary floated into the room with feathers in her hair and asked for the gossip, like the uncool girl hoping to stay in her good graces. That boss she had when she worked for two seconds seemed to be a fangirl, and MTV kisses her ass. I think Chelsea is legit scared to even speak to someone who isn't 100% in her corner, and I feel like that's a skill everyone else learns at age 10 or so. 

Edited March 30, 2019 by Christina87

[druzy]

[ShaNaeNae]

19 hours ago, druzy said:

Wow, she's a mini Randy.  Beautiful eyes.

I'm nitpicking, but I wish Cole could just say, "I love this baby girl" and single her out every once in a while.  We know you love your wife, you love your stepdaughter.  But it's ok to single out a kid if they're in the pic alone with you.  In fact, I think Chelsea has done it with Watson!  

[Christina87]

I just can't unsee Emily Houska in Layne's face! I think it's the eyes. If I were at a Houska family get-together, I'd hand Layne back to Emily in a second, assuming that was her daughter. It's almost like both sisters had a baby the same day, and they switched them at the hospital! Genes are funny things. My cousin looks more like my mom than her parents, so I guess it happens!

[ShaNaeNae]

15 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I just can't unsee Emily Houska in Layne's face! I think it's the eyes. If I were at a Houska family get-together, I'd hand Layne back to Emily in a second, assuming that was her daughter. It's almost like both sisters had a baby the same day, and they switched them at the hospital! Genes are funny things. My cousin looks more like my mom than her parents, so I guess it happens!

I had no recollection what Emily looked like.  Looked her up on FB.  She wears so much makeup I couldn't tell what she really looked like!  But definitely saw the resemblance.  Funny, she's posting pics of her daughter and her boyfriend like they're father & daughter.  Reminds me of her sister.

Also, saw a video of Randy as a keynote speaker for something, taken February 15.  I thought he was doing a big weight loss program?  Remember they all got those shirts "Lose it with Randy?"  He looked even bigger than he does on TV.  I was really rooting for him to lose the weight.  

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, ShaNaeNae said:

I had no recollection what Emily looked like.  Looked her up on FB.  She wears so much makeup I couldn't tell what she really looked like!  But definitely saw the resemblance.  Funny, she's posting pics of her daughter and her boyfriend like they're father & daughter.  Reminds me of her sister.

Emily's on her third baby daddy. Hopefully this one will stick.

I agree Layne looks like her blue-eyed twin.

[Emmierose]

Chelsea needs to stop the “Cole should adopt Aubree” drumbeat.  Aubree has a father whether Chelsea likes him or not.  You can tell by Aubree’s answers in the car and the look on her face that she’s getting fed up with Chelsea’s questions and feels protective of her dad and grandmother. Ya know, HER FAMILY.

My sister tried this bullshit and grilled her daughter whenever she spent time with her father and his family.  People she loved.  My sister also talked endlessly about getting sole custody (they had 50/50) in front of my niece and never let up.  Ever.  When my niece turned 12, she informed the judge she wanted to go and live with her dad full time and the judge granted it (there were other circumstances that contributed as well). My niece is now 16 and has no relationship with her mother and to this day my sister refuses to see what she did that facilitated my niece’s choice to live with her father. 

Children are not pawns and as much as Chelsea would love to erase Adam, she can’t and Aubree loves him and Grandma Donna.  All of the yammering about what would happen if Chelsea died is stupid.  Chances are Chelsea isn’t going to die anytime soon and if she does then the issue will be addressed.  Just live your fucking life Chelsea and let Aubree love her family.  Aubree will eventually see Adam’s faults and can decide for herself what type of a relationship she wants with him.  

Edited April 9, 2019 by Emmierose

[Mkay]

[ShaNaeNae]

Watson is stinking adorable, but I just realized he's got Grandpa Randy's big round face/head.  It's uncanny in that video above.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 4/2/2019 at 1:53 PM, BitterApple said:

Emily's on her third baby daddy. Hopefully this one will stick.

I agree Layne looks like her blue-eyed twin.

No wonder Cole is all about how amazing he is. 

He hears it from TM2 fans and social media.  He sees it compared to Adam's deadbeat, high butt and how he's hurt Aubree by standing her up, etc.  He probably also sees it in comparison to Emily's boyfriends/baby daddies, too.

Even I'd probably start to believe my own hype as BestDadHusbandGuyEVER if I was in his position where I was being fed it constantly & seeing real-life comparisons so close to me that backed that up. (I'm not saying Cole isn't a great dad/husband/guy, just referencing how some viewers think he's been coming across on the show as full of himself about it & Chelsea constantly reminding us as well.)

[TheRealT]

6 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

No wonder Cole is all about how amazing he is. 

He hears it from TM2 fans and social media.  He sees it compared to Adam's deadbeat, high butt and how he's hurt Aubree by standing her up, etc.  He probably also sees it in comparison to Emily's boyfriends/baby daddies, too.

Even I'd probably start to believe my own hype as BestDadHusbandGuyEVER if I was in his position where I was being fed it constantly & seeing real-life comparisons so close to me that backed that up. (I'm not saying Cole isn't a great dad/husband/guy, just referencing how some viewers think he's been coming across on the show as full of himself about it & Chelsea constantly reminding us as well.)

Yeah, it seems that Randy/the Houskas have a general view that it's good/normal for men to take care of women (be they their daughters or wives). So Randy, with 4 daughters who weren't the most independent women OR necessarily able to find "good guys" to take care of them early in life, struggled with being the "good guy" for his wife, daughters, and grandchildren and would be understandably grateful for any "good guy" son-in-law/baby daddy who stepped up to care for Randy's progeny. We saw how he was with Chelsea since Aubree's birth (and I don't think he was faking it for the show), so imagine that times 4. He had two daughters who became moms as teens and we know that Adam wasn't an awesome dad/caretaker for his baby mama and, presumably, the other dad wasn't super awesome and involved either.

So, in that field, compared to Adam and at least 2 other "bad baby daddies," Cole would seem super, duper awesome. Which I think was no small part of the appeal of Chelsea/her whole situation for him. Which is fine because everyone evaluates partners/potential partners on multiple levels (consciously and subconsciously), but my point is that I think Cole very much enjoys his "Captain Save a Ho" status and Chelsea very much enjoys having landed a guy who's so awesome(!) compared to her sisters' (and her general community's) partners. So, IMO, that's very much a part of C&C's general dynamic/their dynamic within Chelsea's (and probably Cole's) family(ies). Which is fine, mostly (who doesn't want to feel that their partner is so awesome! (whether others agree or not))? But it's a little grating to me with them, for various reasons.

[Christina87]

16 hours ago, TheRealT said:

Yeah, it seems that Randy/the Houskas have a general view that it's good/normal for men to take care of women (be they their daughters or wives). So Randy, with 4 daughters who weren't the most independent women OR necessarily able to find "good guys" to take care of them early in life, struggled with being the "good guy" for his wife, daughters, and grandchildren and would be understandably grateful for any "good guy" son-in-law/baby daddy who stepped up to care for Randy's progeny. We saw how he was with Chelsea since Aubree's birth (and I don't think he was faking it for the show), so imagine that times 4. He had two daughters who became moms as teens and we know that Adam wasn't an awesome dad/caretaker for his baby mama and, presumably, the other dad wasn't super awesome and involved either.

So, in that field, compared to Adam and at least 2 other "bad baby daddies," Cole would seem super, duper awesome. Which I think was no small part of the appeal of Chelsea/her whole situation for him. Which is fine because everyone evaluates partners/potential partners on multiple levels (consciously and subconsciously), but my point is that I think Cole very much enjoys his "Captain Save a Ho" status and Chelsea very much enjoys having landed a guy who's so awesome(!) compared to her sisters' (and her general community's) partners. So, IMO, that's very much a part of C&C's general dynamic/their dynamic within Chelsea's (and probably Cole's) family(ies). Which is fine, mostly (who doesn't want to feel that their partner is so awesome! (whether others agree or not))? But it's a little grating to me with them, for various reasons.

I agree with all this, but it only makes me like Chelsea less, not more. I would feel soooo bad bragging about my *perfect* husband (who objectively is pretty good) when my poor sister is on her third babydaddy, without a ring, and that's the norm for my area. Chelsea seems so much to me like the girl who loves to throw her good fortune in others' faces, though we know she would have hated it if others did the same while she was with Adam! Even if I were in her situation and comfortable with the bragging, I know my mom would give me that *look* when I did it, and later, in private, ask, "was that necessary? I know you love your husband, and I'm not against you telling him that, but did you see the look on your sister's face while you were saying all that? I bet she'd love to have a perfect husband as she brings her third baby into the world, like you had."

i guess no parent will ever point that out to her, since Randy's her bff and Mary is...dense. As someone who has been blessed in many ways, it bothers me when I even accidentally make people feel inferior. When people talk about all the student loans they have, and how they can barely survive on their salary, I don't exclaim, "well, guess what? I haven't worked in almost a year, and I'm fine!!! I had a college fund and no student loans, so I was able to save more...plus I have awesome, wealthy parents, and a well off friend I can live with for free, too! Hashtag perfect familyyyyy!" Though I think they would be happy for me, it would make me extremely uncomfortable to brag around people who wouldn't have the choice to wait for a job...they would have been at McDonald's months ago. Their moms wouldn't be saying, "God will find you the right job. Keep praying!" They'd be hounding them to find a job at Walmart for the time being. I even think, to some degree, about how my two best friends, both without dads, feel when I post something about my dad being beyond awesome on Father's Day, and I try not to go overboard. The really sappy stuff, I write in my dad's card, not on Facebook.

I'm not at all saying that you can't let people know how much they mean to you, or publicly shout out someone on occasion, or that you have some responsibility to hide your happiness for the sake of those less fortunate. But by all means, don't straight up BRAGGG 24/7!!! I think Chelsea should already be really sensitive to Emily's feelings, given that they were both teen moms around the same time (or at least under 21), and she won the lottery while emily didn't. It would shock me if there wasn't at least some degree of jealousy there, even if Chelsea didn't fan the flames, but her bragging behavior HAS to make it worse!

[TheRealT]

5 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I agree with all this, but it only makes me like Chelsea less, not more. I would feel soooo bad bragging about my *perfect* husband (who objectively is pretty good) when my poor sister is on her third babydaddy, without a ring, and that's the norm for my area. Chelsea seems so much to me like the girl who loves to throw her good fortune in others' faces, though we know she would have hated it if others did the same while she was with Adam! Even if I were in her situation and comfortable with the bragging, I know my mom would give me that *look* when I did it, and later, in private, ask, "was that necessary? I know you love your husband, and I'm not against you telling him that, but did you see the look on your sister's face while you were saying all that? I bet she'd love to have a perfect husband as she brings her third baby into the world, like you had."

i guess no parent will ever point that out to her, since Randy's her bff and Mary is...dense. As someone who has been blessed in many ways, it bothers me when I even accidentally make people feel inferior. When people talk about all the student loans they have, and how they can barely survive on their salary, I don't exclaim, "well, guess what? I haven't worked in almost a year, and I'm fine!!! I had a college fund and no student loans, so I was able to save more...plus I have awesome, wealthy parents, and a well off friend I can live with for free, too! Hashtag perfect familyyyyy!" Though I think they would be happy for me, it would make me extremely uncomfortable to brag around people who wouldn't have the choice to wait for a job...they would have been at McDonald's months ago. Their moms wouldn't be saying, "God will find you the right job. Keep praying!" They'd be hounding them to find a job at Walmart for the time being. I even think, to some degree, about how my two best friends, both without dads, feel when I post something about my dad being beyond awesome on Father's Day, and I try not to go overboard. The really sappy stuff, I write in my dad's card, not on Facebook.

I'm not at all saying that you can't let people know how much they mean to you, or publicly shout out someone on occasion, or that you have some responsibility to hide your happiness for the sake of those less fortunate. But by all means, don't straight up BRAGGG 24/7!!! I think Chelsea should already be really sensitive to Emily's feelings, given that they were both teen moms around the same time (or at least under 21), and she won the lottery while emily didn't. It would shock me if there wasn't at least some degree of jealousy there, even if Chelsea didn't fan the flames, but her bragging behavior HAS to make it worse!

I don't think Chelsea is particularly thoughtful or self-aware (even with her 10-y-o daughter), so it's not surprising to me that she doesn't think much about how her OTT Coleeee worship affects her family members (or comes off in general). I would also think that the general family dynamic that creates isn't helped by Randy's OTT famewhoring. Chelsea and Randy (and Cole) seem like generally "nice" people, but I don't really admire any of them and their smugness/self-absorption/famewhorishness is distasteful. Still, obviously, Aubree and Chelsea's other kids are way better off than most of the kids on these shows. (not that that's saying much)

[Lemons]

1 hour ago, TheRealT said:

I don't think Chelsea is particularly thoughtful or self-aware (even with her 10-y-o daughter), so it's not surprising to me that she doesn't think much about how her OTT Coleeee worship affects her family members (or comes off in general). I would also think that the general family dynamic that creates isn't helped by Randy's OTT famewhoring. Chelsea and Randy (and Cole) seem like generally "nice" people, but I don't really admire any of them and their smugness/self-absorption/famewhorishness is distasteful. Still, obviously, Aubree and Chelsea's other kids are way better off than most of the kids on these shows. (not that that's saying much)

They lucked out being on the show with Jenelle, Kail and the hillbillys.  They look extraordinary compared to them when they are only ordinary at best.

[Christina87]

2 hours ago, TheRealT said:

I don't think Chelsea is particularly thoughtful or self-aware (even with her 10-y-o daughter), so it's not surprising to me that she doesn't think much about how her OTT Coleeee worship affects her family members (or comes off in general). I would also think that the general family dynamic that creates isn't helped by Randy's OTT famewhoring. Chelsea and Randy (and Cole) seem like generally "nice" people, but I don't really admire any of them and their smugness/self-absorption/famewhorishness is distasteful. Still, obviously, Aubree and Chelsea's other kids are way better off than most of the kids on these shows. (not that that's saying much)

You are so right about Chelsea and Randy seeming like "nice" people, but smug! I have always admired Randy, although I personally haven't seen much to admire about Chelsea, but his famewhore tendencies seem to get worse and worse! Randy reminds me a lot of my dad in some ways, but I really, really have a problem with him picking on those less fortunate. My dad knew all of my peers because he coached our sports teams, and he was always very eager to point out that not everyone had the advantages we did, and it wasn't fair to make fun of people trying their best. Now...do I think Jenelle is trying her best? NOPE! If I were on TM2, my dad would absolutely talk about how horrible Jenelle is in private, and he wouldn't endorse her in public. However, i can just hear him saying, "her mom works at Walmart and barely could supervise the kids in an effort to put food on the table, so I don't feel like I'm in a position to judge." He would judge her abusive ex for creating the situation, if anyone. 

Not that my dad and I are saints by any stretch of the imagination, but I've always felt horrible being critical of people who weren't economically fortunate. Jenelle is just a garbage human being, but I even do feel ambivalent sometimes about criticizing Kail, after how she grew up. I think she should be held accountable for her terrible behavior now, but I feel like the apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree, and it's hard to overcome that kind of childhood. Not that Randy is wrong, but I don't think he stops to think about how it looks for a middle aged man who has everything to constantly criticize a girl from a humble background, even though she is a dumpster fire. Let the fans criticize her; there will be plenty of them to do it, and he would look better refraining. 

[TheRealT]

32 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

You are so right about Chelsea and Randy seeming like "nice" people, but smug! I have always admired Randy, although I personally haven't seen much to admire about Chelsea, but his famewhore tendencies seem to get worse and worse! Randy reminds me a lot of my dad in some ways, but I really, really have a problem with him picking on those less fortunate. My dad knew all of my peers because he coached our sports teams, and he was always very eager to point out that not everyone had the advantages we did, and it wasn't fair to make fun of people trying their best. Now...do I think Jenelle is trying her best? NOPE! If I were on TM2, my dad would absolutely talk about how horrible Jenelle is in private, and he wouldn't endorse her in public. However, i can just hear him saying, "her mom works at Walmart and barely could supervise the kids in an effort to put food on the table, so I don't feel like I'm in a position to judge." He would judge her abusive ex for creating the situation, if anyone. 

Not that my dad and I are saints by any stretch of the imagination, but I've always felt horrible being critical of people who weren't economically fortunate. Jenelle is just a garbage human being, but I even do feel ambivalent sometimes about criticizing Kail, after how she grew up. I think she should be held accountable for her terrible behavior now, but I feel like the apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree, and it's hard to overcome that kind of childhood. Not that Randy is wrong, but I don't think he stops to think about how it looks for a middle aged man who has everything to constantly criticize a girl from a humble background, even though she is a dumpster fire. Let the fans criticize her; there will be plenty of them to do it, and he would look better refraining. 

I don't think Randy is a "bad person" overall, but I give major side eye to his petty bitchassness/trolling on SM and his general famewhorishness. It's downright embarrassing for a "professional," father of 4, and grandfather of however many. So, no respect at all on that level.

IMO, he has nothing to be particularly proud of/brag about. Kudos to anyone who's a basically good parent/person and manages to get through life without racking up an alarming criminal record/majorly damaging their kids, but still. I know he's put a lot of time and effort into being a "great dad," but, IMO, he would have better served his daughters and grandkids by teaching them that women can be competent and independent and not dependent on a man and by challenging his daughters to stand on their own feet and figure out how to take care of themselves/their children without depending on some Captain Save a Ho like Cole (or Randy). I'm sure he feels "vindicated" in his coddling of Chelsea because she's now found a "prince" to take care of her and she's even managed to make some progress in being able to take care of herself and her kids (mostly due to MTV, but also in some part due to her prospects as an aesthetician or whatever), but I don't think that he's positioned Chelsea and her kids in the most advantageous way. If Chelsea were to lose Cole, she'd be just as helpless and useless as she was when she was a teen mom "pursuing her GED" for however many years. She's probably more mature now (the passage of time is pretty good at that), but she probably hasn't grown much in other ways.

[DangerousMinds]

6 minutes ago, TheRealT said:

I don't think Randy is a "bad person" overall, but I give major side eye to his petty bitchassness/trolling on SM and his general famewhorishness. It's downright embarrassing for a "professional," father of 4, and grandfather of however many. So, no respect at all on that level.

IMO, he has nothing to be particularly proud of/brag about. Kudos to anyone who's a basically good parent/person and manages to get through life without racking up an alarming criminal record/majorly damaging their kids, but still. I know he's put a lot of time and effort into being a "great dad," but, IMO, he would have better served his daughters and grandkids by teaching them that women can be competent and independent and not dependent on a man and by challenging his daughters to stand on their own feet and figure out how to take care of themselves/their children without depending on some Captain Save a Ho like Cole (or Randy). I'm sure he feels "vindicated" in his coddling of Chelsea because she's now found a "prince" to take care of her and she's even managed to make some progress in being able to take care of herself and her kids (mostly due to MTV, but also in some part due to her prospects as an aesthetician or whatever), but I don't think that he's positioned Chelsea and her kids in the most advantageous way. If Chelsea were to lose Cole, she'd be just as helpless and useless as she was when she was a teen mom "pursuing her GED" for however many years. She's probably more mature now (the passage of time is pretty good at that), but she probably hasn't grown much in other ways.

Yes! came here to say this and you already did.🙂

I wish he had raised stronger, more independent women who didn’t feel they needed men to “protect,” support or complete their families .

[Christina87]

@TheRealT and @DangerousMinds, agreed so much!!! I wonder what it was about Randy that made all of his daughters so helpless. Was he reacting to their ability, or did he have low expectations to begin with? Was it the chicken or the egg? Granted, we don't know much about the first two, and they at least seem more independent, though it could be the age difference. But I know plenty of coddled people who went to college and managed to support themselves!

i just find it so strange that in this generation where everyone and their brother goes to college, these daughters of two professionals did not go, and chose teen motherhood instead! Whether Chelsea could have gotten through college without Aubree is debatable; maybe if she'd gone to a college with lax policies and tried really hard? Not that an institution like that would inspire confidence. I have a hunch it would have been somewhat like Leah's attempts at schooling, but with more partying before each failed attempt. If Chelsea had left her town, or maybe even South Dakota, how would she have done? Adam would not have come to visit her at college, so he would be out of the picture. I wonder if she would have taken school seriously, if she knew the alternative was moving back home. She's not bright, but she could have gone to a school with low standards and heavily relied on tutors if she was determined not to move back to Sioux Falls. I could see her seeking out Prince Charming on campus, but few college guys want to play husband before their time. Even those open to marriage at 22 usually don't like needy girls, and definitely don't want to even think about being the sole breadwinner as they start their careers!

I think college isn't for everyone, and trade school was probably always the better option for Chelsea, but it's just so odd to me that these dentist's daughters didn't go, when it seems like everyone does these days. I wonder if Randy coddled his girls, but assumed they would take school seriously and go to college, and was surprised when they didn't. Maybe he figured by high school that they weren't academic, and just accepted their helplessness when they showed no aptitude for school. Or, did he coddle them and have low expectations from childhood on, because of benevolent sexism? I think it's interesting that Randy is so into women's college basketball. Does he secretly wish his girls had been star athletes and students? Or did he expect motherhood-as-identity from a young age for them all along? It's hard to say whether the chicken or the egg came first here. 

[BitterApple]

11 hours ago, TheRealT said:

I don't think Randy is a "bad person" overall, but I give major side eye to his petty bitchassness/trolling on SM and his general famewhorishness. It's downright embarrassing for a "professional," father of 4, and grandfather of however many. So, no respect at all on that level.

IMO, he has nothing to be particularly proud of/brag about. Kudos to anyone who's a basically good parent/person and manages to get through life without racking up an alarming criminal record/majorly damaging their kids, but still. I know he's put a lot of time and effort into being a "great dad," but, IMO, he would have better served his daughters and grandkids by teaching them that women can be competent and independent and not dependent on a man and by challenging his daughters to stand on their own feet and figure out how to take care of themselves/their children without depending on some Captain Save a Ho like Cole (or Randy). I'm sure he feels "vindicated" in his coddling of Chelsea because she's now found a "prince" to take care of her and she's even managed to make some progress in being able to take care of herself and her kids (mostly due to MTV, but also in some part due to her prospects as an aesthetician or whatever), but I don't think that he's positioned Chelsea and her kids in the most advantageous way. If Chelsea were to lose Cole, she'd be just as helpless and useless as she was when she was a teen mom "pursuing her GED" for however many years. She's probably more mature now (the passage of time is pretty good at that), but she probably hasn't grown much in other ways.

Yeah, I kind of side-eye him for that as well. All four of his daughters were knocked up out of wedlock before the age of 21, so it's not like he killed it in the parenting department either. Chelsea lucked out with Cole, but Emily is currently on her third child by her third baby daddy and still unmarried. Chelsea has the benefit of being the best out of a shitty lot, but there's still a ton of crap she could be called out for on social media if the fans were so inclined. At the end of the day, she earns her money by appearing on a trashy reality show, just like Jenelle does. Randy should be careful about throwing stones when he resides in a pretty big glass house himself.

Edited April 12, 2019 by BitterApple

[TimeToCancelTM]

18 hours ago, Lemons said:

They lucked out being on the show with Jenelle, Kail and the hillbillys.  They look extraordinary compared to them when they are only ordinary at best.

I agree, but also if she was on TM OG. Nova, mowgli, and ambers kid are no prize either. Macis kids are good but she’s an alcoholic and Benny is the one raising the little ones. And I say ambers “kid” cause Leah is Gary and Christina’s kid, not ambers. 

[Christina]

I thought one of Chelsea's sisters was a registered nurse and I know one of them married a man in the Air Force and was stationed somewhere else. That sister had several, like at least three, late-term miscarriages and had a blog years ago where she discussed it. I had sent her a message on her blog about how the military paid for a genetic test for me after my second late-term miscarriage and at least third miscarriage (fourth was suspected) and she responded that she and her husband had underwent the routine testing but nothing was found and the doctors couldn't give her any reason. My tests were also negative and it wasn't until my pregnancy with my son, which the military paid for me to see a high-risk obstetrician in private practice outside of the TriCare contract, that it was determined that I kept having partially molar pregnancies. 

Depending on where her husband was stationed, she may have not been able to find work. Even in the US there are jobs that don't want to hire and invest time in an employee that can't confirm their long-term employment. If she was the nurse she was probably employed, though. If the other sister was the nurse I'm sure she works. Why I think one of them was a nurse is anyone's guess. Chelsea's mom worked at Randy's dental clinic back when they were married, but I don't know what her job was there. 

I've always found Randy's social media behavior childish, but never thought he believed his daughters needed men to take care of them. Chelsea was was in an abusive relationship that just didn't involve physical violence, at least that we know about, and I think he wussed out a few times in an effort to not pile on his already emotionally fragile daughter. He pushed her to go to school, refused to pay her rent if she was going to let Adam live with her, and frankly, I think Chelsea is quite dim and he knew it. She wasn't a druggy, she didn't party hard or have indiscriminate sex with anyone who smiled at her bringing home multiple kids, she was having difficulty in school prior to her pregnancy, which I think he probably attributed to Adam resulting in her not being diagnosed with ADD until adulthood. She never wanted more in life than to be married with children and attend a few concerts each year. The bigger house, farm land, and animals (other than Pete the pig) are Cole's wants, in my opinion.

[DangerousMinds]

She has ADHD?

[geauxaway]

Chelsea is no more than any run of the mill SODAK / NODAK / MN basic girls.  To be honest she is striving because in her neck of the woods she isn’t on state care and she has a wage earning husband.  

[HeySandyStrange]

Regarding Chelsea's military spouse sister, I believe I read on her blog many moons ago that she did have a bachelor's in a dentistry field, even with getting pregnant/married young. There may be many reasons she is a SAHM, including the possibility that is honestly the thing she wants to do with her life. Since she does without putting herself and her family on a trashy reality TV show,  kudos to her.

13 hours ago, geauxaway said:

Chelsea is no more than any run of the mill SODAK / NODAK / MN basic girls.  To be honest she is striving because in her neck of the woods she isn’t on state care and she has a wage earning husband.  

I have always said Chelsea is the best of a really bad lot, which basically makes her average. If the other teens mom's were anything to write home about (like the homeless teen Mom I read about many moons ago who managed to graduate HS with top honors and get a butt load of scholarships) I doubt people would fawn over Chelsea as they have in the past years. She is a perfectly nice but unremarkable young person. No shame in it, but no reason to put her on a pedestal, either.

Edited April 13, 2019 by HeySandyStrange

[Christina87]

22 hours ago, HeySandyStrange said:

Regarding Chelsea's military spouse sister, I believe I read on her blog many moons ago that she did have a bachelor's in a dentistry field, even with getting pregnant/married young. There may be many reasons she is a SAHM, including the possibility that is honestly the thing she wants to do with her life. Since she does without putting herself and her family on a trashy reality TV show,  kudos to her.

I have always said Chelsea is the best of a really bad lot, which basically makes her average. If the other teens mom's were anything to write home about (like the homeless teen Mom I read about many moons ago who managed to graduate HS with top honors and get a butt load of scholarships) I doubt people would fawn over Chelsea as they have in the past years. She is a perfectly nice but unremarkable young person. No shame in it, but no reason to put her on a pedestal, either.

I remember reading her sister's blog too! She seemed like a really mature, grounded person. It also irritates me that Chelsea is allllll about Cole and pregnancy when she has a sister who can't find a good man (emily) and a sister who has lost so many babies (Melissa). I'm absolutely not saying she can't post pictures of them, or should pretend she isn't happy, but it should be enough that she has such good luck. She shouldn't then have to go the extra mile of flaunting it constantly. I doubt she is mature enough to tone it down when around these people, either. I would hate to hear constantly about Chelsea's "oopsie" with watson, for example, and her plans for a huge family, if I were Melissa on a visit home.

I also wonder if Chelsea and emily were a lot more spoiled than the oldest two. For one, the family had more money while they were being raised, and the older two at least seem to have a better work ethic, from what we know about them. I was in a family of only two children, and while we were both fortunate to grow up with advantages, my sister was coddled and spoiled to a much larger degree than I was! She, like Chelsea, was kind of helpless and thought it was "cute," so my parents just threw everything at her, while sticking to their values for me ("work hard and you can get xyz"). But now that my sister is an adult, and has worked for six or seven years, she is a whole lot more self reliant, and sees it as a good thing! Chelsea reminds me a lot of my sister as a teenager, but my sister grew up because she had to. She didn't have 300K coming in a year, or everyone and their brother coddling her like my dad did. Chelsea could have become more self sufficient too if she'd had to, and I hate that she was robbed of that! But anyway, I wonder if the younger Houska girls were spoiled more, and that makes it easier for Melissa to take things in stride. Maybe she realizes that Chelsea has never been expected to think of anyone else's feelings, or hold back her excitement about her latest obsession, so she just rolls her eyes. I hope the dynamic is like that!

Also, I have no problem with Melissa being a SAHM! She is clearly being supported by her military husband, and she has at least some college (I believe she is the one with the bachelor's). I think some people find everyone that has a problem with Chelsea to have a problem with SAHM's. I love them, and want nothing more than to be one! My mom has all my love and respect, and she was an excellent one. I just think *chelsea* is one of those girls who is lazy in whatever she does, and doesn't want to work a job, so she sees being a SAHM as her ticket to achieve that lifestyle. If she were a receptionist, and didn't clean the footprints and tracks out of the entryway, she would be scolded by a boss and made to do it. If she's a SAHM to a yes man and leaves clothes all over the stairs, her consequence is...nothing. She is good with her kids, for sure, but I don't think she weighed the pros and cons of having a career vs staying home, further than realizing that the workforce has expectations of her, and she has never really been held to anything more than the most basic of expectations. If she'd been forced to support herself or live with her parents, like my sister, she might have realized that hard work wasn't so bad. I've always felt that if Chelsea had had to live with Randy until she finished esthetician school (or at least her GED!) it would have made such a difference. She would have likely been way more motivated to do it, especially without the option of moving adam in. If she whined that Aubree was distracting her, Randy could have taken her to another room. She also could have been like the SAHM for the whole family, and earned her keep by cooking and cleaning for the family, at least to a degree. She could have at least thrown Randy's laundry in while doing her own, and she would have been helping somebody! She could have possibly gotten her own place while in school, since she would have been equivalent to a college student, more or less. Maybe Randy didn't want to live with a baby, and I totally get that too.  

But anyway, I'm definitely not critical at all of Melissa being a SAHM, even if for no reason than she wants to. People who really want to put effort into it are doing such a great service for their family! Based on her pictures and blog (which I know don't tell the full story), she at least *seems* like a tidier, more hard-working person than Chelsea. Perhaps it's her age, too. Maybe Chelsea will have Michelle duggar's laundry room breakdown after a few more kids, and realize that she has to get organized if she wants to stay sane with a big family. Maybe she even realized how tough so much clutter made life when she moved, and is improving now. I would definitely like to see her become better at her chosen profession, because it is a profession! Those of us who have worked before see it as equal to a job, while Chelsea likely sees it as freedom to just exist, like she always has (and that sounded kind of harsh, so I will add that she is naturally good with caring for kids!). 

Edited April 14, 2019 by Christina87

[Scarlett45]

11 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I've always felt that if Chelsea had had to live with Randy until she finished esthetician school (or at least her GED!) it would have made such a difference. She would have likely been way more motivated to do it, especially without the option of moving adam in. If she whined that Aubree was distracting her, Randy could have taken her to another room. She also could have been like the SAHM for the whole family, and earned her keep by cooking and cleaning for the family, at least to a degree. She could have at least thrown Randy's laundry in while doing her own, and she would have been helping somebody! She could have possibly gotten her own place while in school, since she would have been equivalent to a college student, more or less. Maybe Randy didn't want to live with a baby, and I totally get that too.  

I see what you’re saying but I disagree with you. 

I think for most people there is a a great level of emotional maturity that comes with moving out on your own, having to do your own meal planning, grocery shopping, chores and budgeting. Knowing parental figures aren’t there to pick up after you. That being said, yes there are people that live at home post high school and DO take on a significant amount of household duties and/or caregiving responsibilities, so even if they aren’t paying rent (in US Dollars) their presence is one of a contributing adult (not a dependent being). Chelsea would NOT have been one of those people. She wouldn’t have been handling all the chores and cooking so Randy & his wife had dinner ready when they got in, she wouldn’t have been running their errands etc etc. She would’ve been “DAAAAAADDDD I’m hungry what’s for dinner!!!” I really think Chelsea’s step mom had no interest in living with a baby in her middle years, and even though she may enjoy Aubree in a grandma way, that doesn’t mean she wants to live with her!

I think moving out on her own was probably the BEST thing for Chelsea (outside of therapy). 

[Farmfam]

20 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I remember reading her sister's blog too! She seemed like a really mature, grounded person. It also irritates me that Chelsea is allllll about Cole and pregnancy when she has a sister who can't find a good man (emily) and a sister who has lost so many babies (Melissa). I'm absolutely not saying she can't post pictures of them, or should pretend she isn't happy, but it should be enough that she has such good luck. She shouldn't then have to go the extra mile of flaunting it constantly. I doubt she is mature enough to tone it down when around these people, either. I would hate to hear constantly about Chelsea's "oopsie" with watson, for example, and her plans for a huge family, if I were Melissa on a visit home.

I also wonder if Chelsea and emily were a lot more spoiled than the oldest two. For one, the family had more money while they were being raised, and the older two at least seem to have a better work ethic, from what we know about them. I was in a family of only two children, and while we were both fortunate to grow up with advantages, my sister was coddled and spoiled to a much larger degree than I was! She, like Chelsea, was kind of helpless and thought it was "cute," so my parents just threw everything at her, while sticking to their values for me ("work hard and you can get xyz"). But now that my sister is an adult, and has worked for six or seven years, she is a whole lot more self reliant, and sees it as a good thing! Chelsea reminds me a lot of my sister as a teenager, but my sister grew up because she had to. She didn't have 300K coming in a year, or everyone and their brother coddling her like my dad did. Chelsea could have become more self sufficient too if she'd had to, and I hate that she was robbed of that! But anyway, I wonder if the younger Houska girls were spoiled more, and that makes it easier for Melissa to take things in stride. Maybe she realizes that Chelsea has never been expected to think of anyone else's feelings, or hold back her excitement about her latest obsession, so she just rolls her eyes. I hope the dynamic is like that!

Also, I have no problem with Melissa being a SAHM! She is clearly being supported by her military husband, and she has at least some college (I believe she is the one with the bachelor's). I think some people find everyone that has a problem with Chelsea to have a problem with SAHM's. I love them, and want nothing more than to be one! My mom has all my love and respect, and she was an excellent one. I just think *chelsea* is one of those girls who is lazy in whatever she does, and doesn't want to work a job, so she sees being a SAHM as her ticket to achieve that lifestyle. If she were a receptionist, and didn't clean the footprints and tracks out of the entryway, she would be scolded by a boss and made to do it. If she's a SAHM to a yes man and leaves clothes all over the stairs, her consequence is...nothing. She is good with her kids, for sure, but I don't think she weighed the pros and cons of having a career vs staying home, further than realizing that the workforce has expectations of her, and she has never really been held to anything more than the most basic of expectations. If she'd been forced to support herself or live with her parents, like my sister, she might have realized that hard work wasn't so bad. I've always felt that if Chelsea had had to live with Randy until she finished esthetician school (or at least her GED!) it would have made such a difference. She would have likely been way more motivated to do it, especially without the option of moving adam in. If she whined that Aubree was distracting her, Randy could have taken her to another room. She also could have been like the SAHM for the whole family, and earned her keep by cooking and cleaning for the family, at least to a degree. She could have at least thrown Randy's laundry in while doing her own, and she would have been helping somebody! She could have possibly gotten her own place while in school, since she would have been equivalent to a college student, more or less. Maybe Randy didn't want to live with a baby, and I totally get that too.  

But anyway, I'm definitely not critical at all of Melissa being a SAHM, even if for no reason than she wants to. People who really want to put effort into it are doing such a great service for their family! Based on her pictures and blog (which I know don't tell the full story), she at least *seems* like a tidier, more hard-working person than Chelsea. Perhaps it's her age, too. Maybe Chelsea will have Michelle duggar's laundry room breakdown after a few more kids, and realize that she has to get organized if she wants to stay sane with a big family. Maybe she even realized how tough so much clutter made life when she moved, and is improving now. I would definitely like to see her become better at her chosen profession, because it is a profession! Those of us who have worked before see it as equal to a job, while Chelsea likely sees it as freedom to just exist, like she always has (and that sounded kind of harsh, so I will add that she is naturally good with caring for kids!). 

I’ve been married for 6 years and dated 3 years before that...I still adore my husband. Is he perfect? No, but is is absolutely perfect for me...I don’t have a social media presence, but if I did, I wouldn’t hide that from the world. My life with two small children can be Boring and routine so there wouldn’t be much to post anyway. Some people’s “love language” are “words of affirmation” maybe Chelsea or Cole need that to feel loved, and it isn’t about flaunting or rubbing it in people’s faces. 

One of my 4 best friends ended up marrying a guy that was emotionally abusive. We knew this and tried telling her before they got married. Stood beside her as they divorced and she rebuilt her life. I’m sorry that happened to her, but I shouldn’t hide my happiness because of it. 

[ghoulina]

I'm really uncomfortable with the idea that people should hide their happiness, accomplishments, etc. from the world because other people aren't doing so well. I would never want my family members to downplay what's going on in their lives if I'm having a hard time. 

[Lemons]

Nobody is happy and brimming with accomplishments 24/7 so the people who fill their social media with images and words that try and potray this are super annoying. Chelsea and her goofy husband are those type of people. 

[ghoulina]

I don't see it as trying to portray that you're happy 24-7. I see it as choosing to share only positive moments. Some people don't want to share when they've had a fight with their husband or have been puking for 24 hours straight. I do share some of my harder moments, but I have a very small friends list and my account is very private. But I have friends who only share pics of their cute babies, pets, husband, vacations, etc. I don't assume they're trying to act like their life is a non-stop fairy tale. I just figure the rougher stuff is more private. 

Chelsea, honestly, posts on Instagram a few times a week. Sometimes only once a week. She's just giving highlights. I don't see anything disingenuous about it. 

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, Lemons said:

Nobody is happy and brimming with accomplishments 24/7 so the people who fill their social media with images and words that try and potray this are super annoying. Chelsea and her goofy husband are those type of people. 

I agree with this. It's overkill in my personal opinion.  I only know one person in real life whose posts annoy me like Chelsea's, but the majority of my friends post positive things. I think this is the difference:

Friend A: "I'm so grateful for my husband! He's a sweet, hard working man, and I'm so blessed to have him. I'm so looking forward to our child being born, and taking on parenthood with him!"

Friend B: "my perfect husband is soooo hotttt! He's been working out and the muscles are fiiiine. He just got home from a 14 hour shift, but he still found time to rub my feet, like he does every night! I said no, because he was tired, but he just insisted! Deep tissue massage, too. Then he told me he's getting me separate presents for Good Friday and Easter!!! He showed me a Tiffany box too! I have a slight tickle in my throat, so he's taking tomorrow off work to wait on me hand and foot. And he has the flu! He'd never dare take a day off for himself, but I'm his precious schnookems, so he'll walk to the moon for me!"

I think A is sweet, but I can't stand B!!! I would personally feel bad posting B, because it just feels like bragging for the purpose of bragging. Of course it's a little exaggerated, but I find that closer to what annoying people do on social media. 

I think people do need to hear it when they do something nice (though I'm a bigger fan of making it private), but I think A is heartfelt and appropriate. As I've said several times, I don't think you have the responsibility to hide your happiness. I've said this at least three times, and people keep twisting my words to make it sound like I'm against posting anything nice about your partner. That's not how I feel at all! But if I were Chelsea, before I hit "post" on example B, I'd think, "does my unmarried, pregnant sister on her third babydaddy need to hear this bragging? Nope." Just a personal preference. But if you're my friend on social media and post this kind of thing, just know I am secretly rolling my eyes!

Edited April 15, 2019 by Christina87

[Scarlett45]

7 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I'm really uncomfortable with the idea that people should hide their happiness, accomplishments, etc. from the world because other people aren't doing so well. I would never want my family members to downplay what's going on in their lives if I'm having a hard time. 

Yeah me too. And the idea that others may feel badly when you share their happy moments because they are envious or sad, etc etc may indicate an inflated sense of self importance. If someone gets upset because another person has something they don’t they says more about THEM than the person sharing the post. 

Also most people aren’t thinking about other people that much. 

[Scarlett45]

7 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I agree with this. It's overkill in my personal opinion.  I only know one person in real life whose posts annoy me like Chelsea's, but the majority of my friends post positive things. I think this is the difference:

Friend A: "I'm so grateful for my husband! He's a sweet, hard working man, and I'm so blessed to have him. I'm so looking forward to our child being born, and taking on parenthood with him!"

Friend B: "my perfect husband is soooo hotttt! He's been working out and the muscles are fiiiine. He just got home from a 14 hour shift, but he still found time to rub my feet, like he does every night! I said no, because he was tired, but he just insisted! Deep tissue massage, too. Then he told me he's getting me separate presents for Good Friday and Easter!!! He showed me a Tiffany box too! I have a slight tickle in my throat, so he's taking tomorrow off work to wait on me hand and foot. And he has the flu! He'd never dare take a day off for himself, but I'm his precious schnookems, so he'll walk to the moon for me!"

I think A is sweet, but I can't stand B!!! I would personally feel bad posting B, because it just feels like bragging for the purpose of bragging. Of course it's a little exaggerated, but I find that closer to what annoying people do on social media. 

I think people do need to hear it when they do something nice (though I'm a bigger fan of making it private), but I think A is heartfelt and appropriate. As I've said several times, I don't think you have the responsibility to hide your happiness. I've said this at least three times, and people keep twisting my words to make it sound like I'm against posting anything nice about your partner. That's not how I feel at all! But if I were Chelsea, before I hit "post" on example B, I'd think, "does my unmarried, pregnant sister on her third babydaddy need to hear this bragging? Nope." Just a personal preference. But if you're my friend on social media and post this kind of thing, just know I am secretly rolling my eyes!

You are pretty hilarious and this post made me laugh out loud. Especially the bolded. 

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yeah me too. And the idea that others may feel badly when you share their happy moments because they are envious or sad, etc etc may indicate an inflated sense of self importance. If someone gets upset because another person has something they don’t they says more about THEM than the person sharing the post. 

Also most people aren’t thinking about other people that much. 

Yeah, i don't want anyone to feel like they shouldn't share happy moments! I just think it's in the delivery. I guess bragging is just something that really annoys me, and social media has normalized it more than it used to be. You wouldn't walk up to your acquaintance at the mall, that you haven't seen since high school, and brag that your husband just got a huge raise, so now you can put your kid in daycare, get a maid, and sit by the pool all day. However, social media has normalized oversharing this kind of information under the guise of a "shout out," when it's really just straight up bragging. 

I think actually shouting out people on occasion (birthdays, holidays, etc) is really sweet, as is actually SHOWING you awesome life. I've never seen a picture of people having a good time that in itself was meant to be braggy. 

Share the good things in your life, and yes, for god's sake, don't air your dirty laundry! But if the point is to boast, maybe consider taking it down. Not even because some people might be sensitive to whatever the issue is, but because bragging is transparent, and reflects badly on your character. 

I've managed to show appreciation to my family and friends, while documenting both vacations and smaller fun moments, and several relationships since social media was a thing, but I really think I have done so in a way that would not make people feel bad if they weren't so blessed. Not that everyone is super into what I'm doing, or super fragile, but you never know who might be having a really terrible day because they just got evicted, yet here I am bragging about my parents' really nice house, and my friend's house that I get to live in rent free. There would be no reason for me to post about that except to brag.

And I have been called "too considerate" before (mainly one time as a college freshman when I didn't go to the club sick, because I didn't want to infect others), but I don't see anything wrong with taking others' feelings into account. I don't consider online braggarts to be bad people, but extra consideration would just be a bonus. If I had a sister who struggled with fertility and another who couldn't find a good man, (AND a friend whose husband was just arrested for pedophilia!) and I was lucky enough for both to fall into my lap at a super young age, I might be more mindful of making my whole identity about these things, and outright boasting about them. Maybe Chelsea will feel this way when she matures more. I'm not saying pretend to be unhappy. I just don't think factoring others' feelings into the equation is a bad thing. 

And 99% of the time, it's better to err on the side of posting too little on social media anyway. No one is taking away your ability to be as sappy and happy as you want with your perfect husband in person!

Plus, as I also said, I only have one IRL acquaintance who bothers me on social media, so I don't think my standards for what qualifies as bragging are super unrealistic. Most people share the positives of their lives, and it is normal. Yet this girl constantly boasts about her super hot doctor husband, her luxury high rise, her ability to spend every day poolside, the extravagant gifts from her doctor daddy, the trips that doctor hubby gives her to "make up" for his working long hours, and the phone calls that (supposedly) happen when they've been apart for five minutes, and he calls her in tears over how much he misses her, and how in love he is. Anything less than that is okay, but sometimes Chelsea and Cole do approach that territory.

just want to make it clear...I am not anti-happiness on social media. Just A) examine your motives for posting (sharing a fun experience or making people jealous?), and B) doesn't necessarily hurt to consider your audience. Just my opinion, anyway. 

Edited April 15, 2019 by Christina87

[Lemons]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yeah me too. And the idea that others may feel badly when you share their happy moments because they are envious or sad, etc etc may indicate an inflated sense of self importance. If someone gets upset because another person has something they don’t they says more about THEM than the person sharing the post. 

Also most people aren’t thinking about other people that much. 

There have been many studies that show social media linked with depression.  People only see pictures of other people doing great things and being super happy and they wonder what’s wrong with them.  I don’t know about Chelsea , I’ve only seen her pictures here but some people do go out of their way and try and make it look like their lives are perfect.  

[DangerousMinds]

You can show lots of attention and appreciation to your husband in private. Just tell him, not millions of strangers (in Chelsea’s case, they ARE strangers).

[alexa]

Oh gah, I can’t believe Chelsea shares positive moments in her life!  That is just too much, omg. Just kidding, but she has happy moments to share, so why not share them?  I don’t need her to go on social media and share all of the annoying things that occurred in her day, but I know she has those moments just like everyone else. 

[alexa]

16 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I don't see it as trying to portray that you're happy 24-7. I see it as choosing to share only positive moments. Some people don't want to share when they've had a fight with their husband or have been puking for 24 hours straight. I do share some of my harder moments, but I have a very small friends list and my account is very private. But I have friends who only share pics of their cute babies, pets, husband, vacations, etc. I don't assume they're trying to act like their life is a non-stop fairy tale. I just figure the rougher stuff is more private. 

Chelsea, honestly, posts on Instagram a few times a week. Sometimes only once a week. She's just giving highlights. I don't see anything disingenuous about it. 

Couldn't agree more.  Honestly, if I think to what I share with people, and it would usually be via text to my sisters because I don't do instagram or facebook in a sharing sort of way, I send them fun or interesting good moment pics.  I don't stop my day to send them a text to say the mundane or frustrating parts of my day.  Or when I would email my family when my son was younger to send pics, I would send cute pics or happy moment pics--they didn't really need me to send a diatribe about the ins and outs of having a young child.  Most of them have all been there and know you have good and difficult moments.  

So I am not sure why Chelsea is expected to be different.  What I will say is what I have learned from my times on social media, is if someone triggers you to the point that they annoy you so much, it is best to ignore and not follow what they say.  It makes such a difference in your happiness levels.  We all have these people that can trigger us.  

I think Chelsea does a great job of sharing with her fans without going overboard.  She has a good and simple life (for the most part), enjoys parenting, and is showing off her kids.  That is what many parents of young kids do.  Just look anywhere on facebook/instagram.  

[ShaNaeNae]

I guess Chelsea & Cole’s line of baby products dropped today and people are having a fit after she advertised the diaper bag on her IG. Everyone is saying, “you used to be a single mom, you should know $169 is unaffordable for a diaper bag for most of us.” I agree that that’s a really expensive price but she has never known a budget. Even as a single mom she had daddy and TM. 

[HeySandyStrange]

1 hour ago, ShaNaeNae said:

I guess Chelsea & Cole’s line of baby products dropped today and people are having a fit after she advertised the diaper bag on her IG. Everyone is saying, “you used to be a single mom, you should know $169 is unaffordable for a diaper bag for most of us.” I agree that that’s a really expensive price but she has never known a budget. Even as a single mom she had daddy and TM. 

Wow, talk about not knowing your audience. It doesn't take much research to realize that most actual TM 2 and Chelsea fans (not shit talkers like us lol) are not exactly upper middle class suburban moms who wear Lululemon and sip their Starbucks lattes between getting their $100 haircuts and yoga classes. They needed to put out a baby line that had, at most, a Target level price tag. Though a Walmart price tag would be the most realistic. They really actually talked to some of their fans.

Edited April 18, 2019 by HeySandyStrange

[BitterApple]

Okay, so first let me say the bags are cute. From what I can see they're well made and look high-end, so the price tag probably isn't off-base. What's absolutely cracking me up is all the comments lamenting how Chelsea is out of touch with the average single mom. I mean, really? It's taken these morons nine years to realize none of the castmembers are living lifestyles typical of single parents? 

Edited April 18, 2019 by BitterApple

[blubld43]

On 4/15/2019 at 3:29 PM, Christina87 said:

Yeah, i don't want anyone to feel like they shouldn't share happy moments! I just think it's in the delivery. I guess bragging is just something that really annoys me, and social media has normalized it more than it used to be. You wouldn't walk up to your acquaintance at the mall, that you haven't seen since high school, and brag that your husband just got a huge raise, so now you can put your kid in daycare, get a maid, and sit by the pool all day. However, social media has normalized oversharing this kind of information under the guise of a "shout out," when it's really just straight up bragging. 

I've posted before about Princess J, my step daughter in law. She is absolutely a shameless boaster; her kids are 3 and 1, they each have a closet full of designer shoes.

She and her husband travel extensively, are regular concert goers, wear only expensive clothes, etc  How do I know all this? She posts their material good fortune all the time.

She is a woman who had 2 children out of wedlock, before she married my stepson. She gave both of them up for adoption. I wonder if her shameless boasting is related. I cannot stand her; my entire family is like wtf so I know it isn't just me.

Chelsea has never known hardship, but it doesn't seen to have turned her into one of those bitchy types. I think I'd like her.

Edited April 18, 2019 by blubld43

[TheRealT]

3 hours ago, HeySandyStrange said:

Wow, talk about not knowing your audience. It doesn't take much research to realize that most actual TM 2 and Chelsea fans (not shit talkers like us lol) are not exactly upper middle class suburban moms who wear Lululemon and sip their Starbucks lattes between getting their $100 haircuts and yoga classes. They needed to put out a baby line that had, at most, a Target level price tag. Though a Walmart price tag would be the most realistic. They really actually talked to some of their fans.

Yeah, maybe I just don't understand marketing, but it seems unlikely to me that the type of mom who could/would buy a $170 diaper bag would be particularly inspired by Chelsea and Cole. I can see how they're a cute couple, but they're hardly aspirational to those type of people. I imagine that most of C&C's fans are younger, less educated, and have less money than the Lululemon/yoga mom set. I don't even see how a nice diaper bag would be a splurge item since it's not significantly better than a backpack from Target on a practical level. I imagine that most "normal" parents would rather splurge on a nice stroller or something. I would think that people who are already Chelsea fans or who would be drawn the image she and Cole present would be a much better market for baby/kid t-shirts with cute/annoying sayings or something like that.

[ShaNaeNae]

8 hours ago, TheRealT said:

I would think that people who are already Chelsea fans or who would be drawn the image she and Cole present would be a much better market for baby/kid t-shirts with cute/annoying sayings or something like that.

This.  You hit the nail on the head.  I'm shocked she hasn't launched her own "Mama Bear" plaid hoodies and winter hats. For year round of course.  

I got an even better laugh at some of her die hard fans.  Telling those that said they can't afford it: "Well, I'm a single mom.  I researched the product so I knew ahead of time what the cost would be and I set aside money each paycheck so I can buy it when it came out.  Don't mess with Chelsea, she's a hard worker".  It was all ridiculous, but that last sentence made me snort out loud.