S17.E18: In Sickness & Suspicion

[cinsays]

34 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I tried watching MAFS Australia and didn't care for it. For one thing, the couples are not legally married, so there really isn't any incentive to make the relationships work. Also, the participants seem to be really "out there." 

and looking to swap partners

[Rightside]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I think it is going to be a very short D Day show this season, since most of the couples seem to have already split up.

I'm sure the producers will drag it out over two episodes!!

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I think "gaslighting" is a term that's come to be used much too often to describe a person (Becca) who just doesn't want to accept the truth right in front of their eyes.  She knows.

I don't think it matters what she knows or doesn't want to accept because he's actively trying to make her think she's wrong about that.  Ingrid Bergman should have known she didn't do those things her husband tried to pin on her but for a while he still was able to make her think she was wrong and also seeing things that weren't there.  In Becca's defense Austin keeps reeling her back in with affection and lies so that's how she ends up doubting her better sense that he's not into her.  And it's the classical definition of gaslighting when someone makes you think you're the one that's reading things all wrong and they're not lying to you or leading you on or whatever they're really doing to you.  Even Becca herself told the experts that she felt like she was going crazy and Pepper told her, "No you're not going crazy".  I watched that scene 3 times.

In my opinion Emily is the one that's not accepting the truth in front of her eyes.  Despite how Brennan treated her when she got injured, all the rest of the time both on and off camera his lack of interest has been consistent and obvious.  He isn't snuggling with her and making out with her and all that stuff ever.

[Crashcourse]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I don't think it matters what she knows or doesn't want to accept because he's actively trying to make her think she's wrong about that.  Ingrid Bergman should have known she didn't do those things her husband tried to pin on her but for a while he still was able to make her think she was wrong and also seeing things that weren't there.  In Becca's defense Austin keeps reeling her back in with affection and lies so that's how she ends up doubting her better sense that he's not into her.  And it's the classical definition of gaslighting when someone makes you think you're the one that's reading things all wrong and they're not lying to you or leading you on or whatever they're really doing to you.  Even Becca herself told the experts that she felt like she was going crazy and Pepper told her, "No you're not going crazy".  I watched that scene 3 times.

In my opinion Emily is the one that's not accepting the truth in front of her eyes.  Despite how Brennan treated her when she got injured, all the rest of the time both on and off camera his lack of interest has been consistent and obvious.  He isn't snuggling with her and making out with her and all that stuff ever.

I've seen the movie Gaslight many times, and I think what happened to Ingrid Bergman is nothing like what actually happens. especially now.  I think the way "gaslighting" is used now is just a convenient word that's thrown around a lot when someone (usually referring to a woman, never heard it referring to a man) refuses to know and accept the truth because they don't want to.  It's not like they are a helpless victim like Ingrid Bergman.  

In my opinion, she knows exactly what Austin is doing to cover his ass for the cameras, and she's crying for the cameras as well.   Sure, she doesn't like what he's doing, but she knows he's not attracted to her.  That can be devastating.  I get that.  I don't think there's anything "wrong" with Austin or his dick.  He just doesn't want to have sex with her.  

 

 

[Blissfool]

On 2/21/2024 at 7:40 PM, Crashcourse said:

Austin pets Becca like a horse.  Let it go, Becca.

Maybe he was trying to imagine her as a donkey 🤷🏻‍♀️

Timestamp, please, I need to see this. Just kidding...maybe.

[Blissfool]

5 hours ago, Rightside said:

I'm sure the producers will drag it out over two episodes!!

On Afterparty, KKP reminded Becca and Emily that their D-Day is a couple of weeks away then told Michael that he still has more time until his D-Day. I wonder if they're gonna continue the show with just Michael and Chloe. (Who am I kidding! They'll probably all be there...Orion and all!)

[Alexander Pope]

On 2/21/2024 at 5:56 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Austin is going to keep trying. Not doing, just trying.

Austin needs to listen to Yoda.

On 2/21/2024 at 6:15 PM, kristen111 said:

Chloe constantly licking her lips is annoying.  She really thinks she’s the cats meow.

From day one, Brennen looks like he doesn’t want to be there at all.  He looks disinterested all the time.  Like he wants to be somewhere else.

 

Chloe walked into the boxing gym like she expected a standing ovation! I think the boxing coach was amused.  She is not all that!

Edited February 23 by Alexander Pope
sent too soon.

[endure]

14 hours ago, kristen111 said:

This show was good in the beginning.  They must have different producers, as it’s horrible lately.  Wish they would bring back Australia.  That show was much better,  but disappeared into thin air in the middle of a season.  Now, I have to watch the After Party with Keisha.  Ugh ! 

Oh lucky me in Canada, I don’t get MAFS Oz or After Party, this mess is quite enough eh?  I will be stunned if it returns for another season.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I've seen the movie Gaslight many times, and I think what happened to Ingrid Bergman is nothing like what actually happens. especially now.  I think the way "gaslighting" is used now is just a convenient word that's thrown around a lot when someone (usually referring to a woman, never heard it referring to a man) refuses to know and accept the truth because they don't want to.  It's not like they are a helpless victim like Ingrid Bergman.  

I've seen the movie a few times myself over a long lifetime and I too don't like the way that word is thrown around today either, in fact it's a pet peeve of mine.  And still I don't think I was misusing it AT ALL......

I was using the word to describe what Austin is attempting to do to Becca.  I wasn't making any direct comparison between Becca's response to it and Ingrid Bergman.  But I don't think any direct comparison has to exist on her end when applying that term for what he's doing to him.

And I don't like any interpretation that blames the victim in a situation like this with an expectation that they "should have known better" or they "should have seen the truth".  I suppose a hitchhiker should have known better than to get in a car with a serial killer, but that doesn't make them any less a victim or the person that picks them up guilty of anything less than murder.  YMMV.

5 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

In my opinion, she knows exactly what Austin is doing to cover his ass for the cameras, and she's crying for the cameras as well.   Sure, she doesn't like what he's doing, but she knows he's not attracted to her.  That can be devastating.  I get that.  I don't think there's anything "wrong" with Austin or his dick.  He just doesn't want to have sex with her.  

What she knows or doesn't know doesn't change what he's trying to do to her.  He is still trying to gaslight her and she is still attempting to resist it and trust her gut, for sure.  But she has a lot invested in this and it's not a bad reflection on her if she wants to believe that he's being truthful with her about his desire for her and investment in the relationship.  Anyone in her situation who was sincere (and I believe she is) would want to believe him too.  And I believe that her tears are real.  He has triggered her in a very profound way.

I think there's a LOT wrong with Austin for not being on the level with Becca and instead trying to mislead her because he thinks that makes him look good for the cameras.  But I don't agree that that Becca is doing any of this just for the cameras.  Her reactions ping with me as sincere.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

7 hours ago, Rightside said:

I'm sure the producers will drag it out over two episodes!!

I was freeing up space on my DVR and looking at future recordings and I think we're going to get more than 2 episodes 🥴.  There is a MAFS episode that is a stupid filler recap episode leading up to Decision Day and then a "Decision Day Round 1" episode- which means there's a "Round 2" 😭😱.  

[TwirlyGirly]

On 2/21/2024 at 9:11 PM, Elizzikra said:

<snip> All of these people take 10,000 words to say what they could say in about five (and at least half of those million are "like"). <snip>

I watch with the closed captioning on, which makes it more difficult to ignore the "likes." I became so distracted by them spewing forth from both Becca and Austin I didn't hear a word that either Pastor Cal or Dr. Pepper said.

I counted 7... SEVEN!..."likes" in just one sentence spoken by Becca. 

Austin isn't much better.

At one point I may have dissociated because I imagined myself at a zoo, observing the behavior of two of the inhabitants in the Earth Humans' enclosure. 

"Oh Keepers! I think the Earth Humans are in dire need of some Language Enrichment activities!"

[LennieBriscoe]

23 hours ago, kristen111 said:

This show was good in the beginning.  They must have different producers, as it’s horrible lately.  Wish they would bring back Australia.  That show was much better,  but disappeared into thin air in the middle of a season.  Now, I have to watch the After Party with Keisha.  Ugh ! 

Please look in the "MAFS: Australia" thread. I've been posting links to how you can watch Seasons 3-11 now. I'm  currently (as I type) watching S11, E7! 

Edited February 23 by LennieBriscoe

[JenE4]

I don’t know what’s sadder, watching poor concussed Emily think seeing her on death’s door made Brennan suddenly fall in love with her or watching Becca come to realize Austin just isn’t that into her—but listening to Cal, Pepper, and Austin to just give him another chance! Becca, you were so close!! But they brought in 2/3 of the experts to beg her to hang in there for 12 more days so they can have a show! Meanwhile, Brennan really does seem to finally be treating Emily kindly—and most of all is actually smiling!!! (Afterparty observation in spoiler tag)
 

Spoiler

But Emily is soooooo bitter and angry on every afterparty episode that there’s no way Brennan came around for real.

But then here comes Cam completely out of nowhere after having been missing for most of the series to say if Clare says yes on decision day, so will he! Say what?!? You already said no and have been refusing Clare’s phone calls. Suddenly they’re going to be forced to show up to decision day after not talking for a month?! If this is really happening and he’s still considering staying together, maybe he should be meeting up for talks with Clare, not Brennan. Hopefully he will next week.

It seems like I’m the only one who likes Michael and Chloe. She seems to really like him a lot. I don’t think they’ll necessarily stay married, but I think they’ll be the only couple to at least sleep together. It’s nice that their friends and family really get along, too, so they have a network that wants them to be together. Well, aside from Caesar. That guy is not having it. But everyone else seems very supportive. They could be a good couple, unless this is a “people pleasing” mask on both of their parts and they’re not really being themselves yet, which is like a 99% possibility. Still, they’re all we got left at this point, so I’ll take that 1%.

Edited February 23 by JenE4

[Retired at last]

Other than the superficial appearance of Michael, he seems like a decent man. I do not, however, like Chloe. She really loves to talk about herself, doesn't she? Her extreme introvertedness, her perfectionist personality, how leaving her husband of 7 days to take a 3-day vacation helped her to reset, how overwhelmed she is, etc. 

Michael's appearance on Afterparty is so different from how it is on the show, I really wonder when he did that. I think they will all be on the same Decision Day show because I believe all the couples have completed their 8-week "journey," so they probably just added in Michael and Chloe. What I am a little worried about is how much of them we will have to watch when the other couples are done? I definitely do not want to have to watch complete shows of just them getting to the end.

[JenE4]

56 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

Other than the superficial appearance of Michael, he seems like a decent man. I do not, however, like Chloe. She really loves to talk about herself, doesn't she? Her extreme introvertedness, her perfectionist personality, how leaving her husband of 7 days to take a 3-day vacation helped her to reset, how overwhelmed she is, etc. 

Michael's appearance on Afterparty is so different from how it is on the show, I really wonder when he did that. I think they will all be on the same Decision Day show because I believe all the couples have completed their 8-week "journey," so they probably just added in Michael and Chloe. What I am a little worried about is how much of them we will have to watch when the other couples are done? I definitely do not want to have to watch complete shows of just them getting to the end.

Maybe Michael’s “make-under” in current times gives a slight edge to the possibility that he and Chloe stayed together. His over-the-top fashion seems to be the only thing she’s hesitant about. So I think it’s feasible that they’ll have a talk to come in show time in which she admits that she loves that he’s unique but the skirts and the pearls are too much for her and she finds herself much more attracted to him when he’s in a more masculine element (boxing, ninja course). Especially since hearing he’s a people pleaser, I can see the two of them going through his closet together and her picking out the items that are too much or those that are okay—just as long as it’s not paired with another questionable item—and then maybe shopping for some more unique pieces together. 

[Syncopation]

For all of Austen's problems with communication, did anyone else notice the one-sided view Becca presented about the 'off camera' situation in the gift shop at the Wolf Preserve?  Her take was he wouldn't let her help bag 'his' purchases and mumbled his frustration with her and she felt rejected once again.  Then we find out his side, which is that he wanted a separate bag, but she took over and started putting his stuff in her bag 'helping' him. He said he doesn't like being told what to do and she is crying because he wouldn't let her 'help him.  She wasn't helping him, she was deciding for him. Becca was totally clueless about her micromanaging -- and crying like he was rejecting 'her' not her micromanaging. She did not deny the bagging issue. Again, if this is what she does off camera with so little self-awareness...maybe she is also micromanaging how he should show affection.  She did say he mumbled when they were discussing how to show more physical affection, etc.  My husband would hate both scenarios of micromanaging...and I would hate it in reverse.  We all know Austen has verbally indicated he doesn't like being told what to do. The fact that Becca continues to micromanage him and then cries and blames him for rejecting her when he literally told her to stop telling him what to do would absolutely cause me to mumble my frustration under my breath in recurring situations -because clearly you don't listen to me.

Yes, Austen is more 'on' (affectionate) in front of the cameras --- but Becca is more accepting of him on camera (not telling him what to do/micromanaging), so maybe it is easier for him to initiate affection.  Once we found out she is telling him what to do 'off' camera (her take was so one-sided about helping him to 'bag' his purchases - you are not helping when you take over and don't allow the other person to get a separate bag) I re-evaluated their off camera give and take. Why does she get to frame all their interactions off camera, and when he mumbles his frustration and closes off, why does she get to cry, blame him, and say he is rejecting her and boohoo she is so wonderful trying to 'help' him off camera.

Austen has his problems, but Becca has a very self-serving view of their situation and feels justified in presenting her one-sided viewpoint as 'the' reality.

[Katie111]

Has there ever been a season where there is so much discussion between "on camera" and "off camera"?  And when they're "filming" and "not filming".  One of them on the afterparty even mentioned that Austin has been fed lines to say by producers when they are on camera.  Which I'm sure, they all have.  They need to bring back the ceiling cameras in the apartments and get back to having some realness in this "reality TV".  

[Rightside]

14 hours ago, endure said:

Oh lucky me in Canada, I don’t get MAFS Oz or After Party, this mess is quite enough eh?  I will be stunned if it returns for another season.

It WILL be back for another season.

"Married At First Sight season 18 will take place in Chicago and feature new pairs from the city. The upcoming season could premiere as early as April 2024 or as late as July 2024."

[LennieBriscoe]

15 hours ago, endure said:

Oh lucky me in Canada, I don’t get MAFS Oz or After Party, this mess is quite enough eh?  I will be stunned if it returns for another season.

Do you have a Smart TV that connects  to the Internet? 

If so, please check our "MAFS: Australia" thread for links to watching that series. 

[athousandclowns]

On 2/22/2024 at 8:24 AM, Katie111 said:

Why did Cam say that he would say yes on decision day if Clare says yes?  That made zero sense.  And he basically told Brendan that Clare wasn't offering support because no support was needed, he was either in the hospital or recovering at home.  Aren't those 2 scenarios when you would actually need support?  I think he is just a really odd person.  And it sounds like he is still blaming the show and Clare for causing stress that may have caused his condition.  In looking up what he has, it doesn't seem like its stress related.   I have no idea why these two keep claiming they are such good friends and describing each other as "the best person they've ever met" but yet they don't even seem to want to talk on the phone (esp Cam), never mind see each other.  

I feel the same way about him he’s just odd. I’m too lazy but will look it up but he first indicated most can be treated by medication but he needed  surgery.  I have a relatively non worrisome heart condition that can cause tachycardia so I am w ordering what he’s talking about.  If two guys are double dating while still under contract I’d think it would be reason to not be paid in anyway or sued. 

[Crashcourse]

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I've seen the movie a few times myself over a long lifetime and I too don't like the way that word is thrown around today either, in fact it's a pet peeve of mine.  And still I don't think I was misusing it AT ALL......

I was using the word to describe what Austin is attempting to do to Becca.  I wasn't making any direct comparison between Becca's response to it and Ingrid Bergman.  But I don't think any direct comparison has to exist on her end when applying that term for what he's doing to him.

And I don't like any interpretation that blames the victim in a situation like this with an expectation that they "should have known better" or they "should have seen the truth".  I suppose a hitchhiker should have known better than to get in a car with a serial killer, but that doesn't make them any less a victim or the person that picks them up guilty of anything less than murder.  YMMV.

What she knows or doesn't know doesn't change what he's trying to do to her.  He is still trying to gaslight her and she is still attempting to resist it and trust her gut, for sure.  But she has a lot invested in this and it's not a bad reflection on her if she wants to believe that he's being truthful with her about his desire for her and investment in the relationship.  Anyone in her situation who was sincere (and I believe she is) would want to believe him too.  And I believe that her tears are real.  He has triggered her in a very profound way.

I think there's a LOT wrong with Austin for not being on the level with Becca and instead trying to mislead her because he thinks that makes him look good for the cameras.  But I don't agree that that Becca is doing any of this just for the cameras.  Her reactions ping with me as sincere.

YMMV to all this.  After all, this is a "reality" show with questionable amounts of actual...you know....reality.   

Therefore, I'm not gonna spend my time playing armchair psychologist with people I don't even know, but Becca, to me, doesn't look like she's being gaslighted at all.  She knows what's up.  And down.

That's just my opinion about this whole mess, and I hope we can leave it at that.

NEXT!   😆

  

Edited February 23 by Crashcourse

[princelina]

On 2/21/2024 at 8:42 PM, cinsays said:

why doesn't he just tell her that there will be no sex until after decision day

Because then she'll still be trying to organize a "flirting" schedule 😄

On 2/22/2024 at 9:20 AM, Rightside said:

Yes!!! I remember when it was three couples and I didn't fast forward through the show!!

It was also only an hour long!  The good old days 😃

On 2/22/2024 at 1:40 PM, Yeah No said:

I think many of them this season are acting for the cameras.  They say they want one thing but it's obvious that they don't and when the cameras are off they don't care one fig for their spouses.  Are they doing it because production wants them to and it's in their contract that they have to act on camera like they're trying and seeing the relationship through past decision day?  I'm beginning to wonder if that's what it is.  If so, they're not fooling anyone and it's only wrecking up the show altogether for the audience.

Yes!  If they insist on picking these losers, the other way the show could be entertaining is to have someone confront them on camera about their lies and jerky behavior!  I for one would enjoy that.😈

[Retired at last]

While I think a lot of this show is scripted, and the cast is getting language from the producers all the time, I do feel like Becca is truly unhappy and devastated. I don't think she could "act" as miserable and weepy as she has been. It's hard for me to watch her become so broken and then seem to believe that things MAY BE OK. Since Austin left the apartment, I don't know if they will get together again or wait until D Day to give their answers. (Wait - did Austin or Brennan leave - or both?)

Should we take bets on how the show will handle D Day? I think they will ask the women their answers first, and then let the men say NO, just to further humiliate the wives one more time. If they ask the men first, and they all say NO, which I expect to see, the women can say that they would also have said no, but I don't necessarily believe that. 

I wonder if Clare and Cam will even see each other before D Day? Even though Orion and Lauren are already done and Orion was the one to announce that he wanted a divorce, I am sure we will have to see them again. Orion can say again how he misses Lauren and maybe he spoke too soon and that he would like to give it another try. Lauren will tell him to go to Hell.

I wonder if Brennan will finally say out loud why he doesn't want to stay with Emily? It looks like next week may have that conversation - or part of it. From the preview, it showed him saying that he wanted someone "positive" and Emily is freaking out because she feels that she is very positive. I wonder if he will mention the drinking and partying.

 

 

[princelina]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

While I think a lot of this show is scripted, and the cast is getting language from the producers all the time, I do feel like Becca is truly unhappy and devastated. I don't think she could "act" as miserable and weepy as she has been. It's hard for me to watch her become so broken and then seem to believe that things MAY BE OK. Since Austin left the apartment, I don't know if they will get together again or wait until D Day to give their answers. (Wait - did Austin or Brennan leave - or both?)

 

In the previews Austin left - Brennan was supposedly sneaking out for double dates with Cameron! 😂

I believe Becca really is that distraught - I'm just having a hard time finding pity for her when she won't wake up and have some sense!  Gaslighting or not - now she says he acts different off-camera, but he hasn't acted all that great ON camera, so she needs to change the only thing she can change - herself!  If this were 30 years ago she'd be sitting next to a big old cheater on the Ricki Lake show saying, "But I love him!  And I've invested so much time into this relationship!"🙄

[Ms.C.]

On 2/23/2024 at 5:51 AM, JenE4 said:

I don’t know what’s sadder, watching poor concussed Emily think seeing her on death’s door made Brennan suddenly fall in love with her or watching Becca come to realize Austin just isn’t that into her—but listening to Cal, Pepper, and Austin to just give him another chance! Becca, you were so close!! But they brought in 2/3 of the experts to beg her to hang in there for 12 more days so they can have a show! Meanwhile, Brennan really does seem to finally be treating Emily kindly—and most of all is actually smiling!!! (Afterparty observation in spoiler tag)
 

  Reveal spoiler

But Emily is soooooo bitter and angry on every afterparty episode that there’s no way Brennan came around for real.

But then here comes Cam completely out of nowhere after having been missing for most of the series to say if Clare says yes on decision day, so will he! Say what?!? You already said no and have been refusing Clare’s phone calls. Suddenly they’re going to be forced to show up to decision day after not talking for a month?! If this is really happening and he’s still considering staying together, maybe he should be meeting up for talks with Clare, not Brennan. Hopefully he will next week.

It seems like I’m the only one who likes Michael and Chloe. She seems to really like him a lot. I don’t think they’ll necessarily stay married, but I think they’ll be the only couple to at least sleep together. It’s nice that their friends and family really get along, too, so they have a network that wants them to be together. Well, aside from Caesar. That guy is not having it. But everyone else seems very supportive. They could be a good couple, unless this is a “people pleasing” mask on both of their parts and they’re not really being themselves yet, which is like a 99% possibility. Still, they’re all we got left at this point, so I’ll take that 1%.

Chloe totally disingenuous in my opinion. We’ll see soon. 

[Ms.C.]

On 2/21/2024 at 6:15 PM, kristen111 said:

Chloe constantly licking her lips is annoying.  She really thinks she’s the cats meow.

From day one, Brennen looks like he doesn’t want to be there at all.  He looks disinterested all the time.  Like he wants to be somewhere else.

Which makes you wonder why he even signed up?  If you’re not looking for love, what good is MAFS?  Another fraudster.  

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, Ms.C. said:

Which makes you wonder why he even signed up?  If you’re not looking for love, what good is MAFS?  Another fraudster.  

I don’t know if he was looking for love but I do believe he was looking for a certain type of wife. Emily isn’t it and I think he’s angry and checked out ever since he figured that out.

[Starlight925]

Emily makes her duck face even while laying in bed with a huge head wound.

I do hope she watches herself and sees how ridiculous she looks.

 

[Shrek]

33 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don’t know if he was looking for love but I do believe he was looking for a certain type of wife. Emily isn’t it and I think he’s angry and checked out ever since he figured that out.

If that is in fact the case then he's a fking idiot for going on a tv show that marries you off to someone that you have no say in. 

[Crashcourse]

I think anyone who goes on this show is an idiot--even some of the ones I like.

[Retired at last]

If anyone is interested, MAFSFan posted an update to the D Day results, which I posted in the Spoilers topic.

[Elizzikra]

8 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I think anyone who goes on this show is an idiot--even some of the ones I like.

I don't think it's a great idea given their track record and their apparent less than thorough vetting of the participants. But I wanted a relationship long before I found one and I can understand the inclination of some of these folks who are struggling to find a mate. I dated a lot. I was conventionally attractive (enough - modeling agencies weren't beating down the door but I wasn't a troll either). I was educated and financially stable. I'm pretty stable emotionally. But nothing ever really clicked long term. This was all before dating apps were a thing, though internet dating was firmly established. It's really hard to meet someone and harder still to make it to marriage and children if that's what you want. 

So yeah - I might have considered it if, like a Chloe, I was in my late 30's and had seemingly tried every other avenue to find a mate, with nothing working out. I understand it less from the 20-somethings, definitely.

[Jeanne222]

I am of the opinion..the men on this show can’t get it up and that’s why no sex and they keep dancing around it!

The women have had so many lovers and one night stands but nobody has put a ring on it!

Its turning into a pathetic show of losers!

[Auntie Anxiety]

On 2/25/2024 at 2:25 PM, Crashcourse said:

I think anyone who goes on this show is an idiot--even some of the ones I like.

At this point, going on this show is less about finding a spouse and more about getting clicks on their social media posts. 

[Retired at last]

Considering that most, if not all, of the men seem to have been recruited, I wonder what they were promised to be on the show.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

24 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

Considering that most, if not all, of the men seem to have been recruited, I wonder what they were promised to be on the show.

Tons of money, fame, and Victorias Secret models who never cry or expect anything! 

🎵Love exciting and new. Come aboard, we're expecting you! 

Edited February 28 by Hip-to-be-Square

[Retired at last]

3 minutes ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Tons of money, fame, and Victorias Secret models who never cry or expect anything! 

Maybe that's who Cam and Brennan are going to double date with?

[LuvMyShows]

On 2/24/2024 at 1:04 PM, princelina said:

I believe Becca really is that distraught - 

There was a look she had on her face at one point when they were talking with Pastor Cal and Dr. Pepper that was absolutely terrified. Her eyes were as big as saucers, she was shaking, and I don't think there's any way she could have faked that.

On 2/21/2024 at 9:11 PM, Elizzikra said:

I could not believe Pastor Cal saying that Austin and Becca's problems aren't about what's in the bedroom. Yes. Yes they are. They are pretty much ok on everything else - they just don't have sex and Austin doesn't really want to.

1000%

On 2/22/2024 at 11:07 AM, Retired at last said:

I think that if Austin did tell her that he wanted to wait until Decision Day to have sex, at least she could stop trying to seduce him and be rejected.

Given that Becca constantly talks about trying to initiate and being rejected, even for flirting, I really wish she would just ask Austin how it feels when she is  doing that and why he shoots it down. It doesn't sound like they have ever actually discussed that, so she just keeps on doing it, I guess in hopes that it will pay off at some point. 

[Yeah No]

On 2/23/2024 at 11:23 AM, Retired at last said:

Other than the superficial appearance of Michael, he seems like a decent man. I do not, however, like Chloe. She really loves to talk about herself, doesn't she? Her extreme introvertedness, her perfectionist personality, how leaving her husband of 7 days to take a 3-day vacation helped her to reset, how overwhelmed she is, etc. 

Michael's appearance on Afterparty is so different from how it is on the show, I really wonder when he did that. I think they will all be on the same Decision Day show because I believe all the couples have completed their 8-week "journey," so they probably just added in Michael and Chloe. What I am a little worried about is how much of them we will have to watch when the other couples are done? I definitely do not want to have to watch complete shows of just them getting to the end.

I have had all the same thoughts.  Chloe seems vain and self-absorbed for sure, maybe even narcissistic.  And I do wonder if Michael toned down his appearance to please her.  I hope they condense Michael and Chloe's segments toward the end to catch up to the others.  If not it will be hard to watch.

On 2/23/2024 at 12:55 PM, Syncopation said:

For all of Austen's problems with communication, did anyone else notice the one-sided view Becca presented about the 'off camera' situation in the gift shop at the Wolf Preserve?  Her take was he wouldn't let her help bag 'his' purchases and mumbled his frustration with her and she felt rejected once again.  Then we find out his side, which is that he wanted a separate bag, but she took over and started putting his stuff in her bag 'helping' him. He said he doesn't like being told what to do and she is crying because he wouldn't let her 'help him.  She wasn't helping him, she was deciding for him. Becca was totally clueless about her micromanaging -- and crying like he was rejecting 'her' not her micromanaging. She did not deny the bagging issue. Again, if this is what she does off camera with so little self-awareness...maybe she is also micromanaging how he should show affection.  She did say he mumbled when they were discussing how to show more physical affection, etc.  My husband would hate both scenarios of micromanaging...and I would hate it in reverse.  We all know Austen has verbally indicated he doesn't like being told what to do. The fact that Becca continues to micromanage him and then cries and blames him for rejecting her when he literally told her to stop telling him what to do would absolutely cause me to mumble my frustration under my breath in recurring situations -because clearly you don't listen to me.

Yes, Austen is more 'on' (affectionate) in front of the cameras --- but Becca is more accepting of him on camera (not telling him what to do/micromanaging), so maybe it is easier for him to initiate affection.  Once we found out she is telling him what to do 'off' camera (her take was so one-sided about helping him to 'bag' his purchases - you are not helping when you take over and don't allow the other person to get a separate bag) I re-evaluated their off camera give and take. Why does she get to frame all their interactions off camera, and when he mumbles his frustration and closes off, why does she get to cry, blame him, and say he is rejecting her and boohoo she is so wonderful trying to 'help' him off camera.

Austen has his problems, but Becca has a very self-serving view of their situation and feels justified in presenting her one-sided viewpoint as 'the' reality.

I have a little experience here having been married to a man who doesn't like to be told what to do for over 40 years.  My take on Austin is this - If it takes THAT little to trigger his "don't tell me what to do" baggage, I think the problem may be more his than hers.  Seriously, this is bagging, not trying to control every aspect of his life.  I don't see bagging his stuff in her bag as any clear sign of any general trend of hers to micromanage him even if he said he wanted a separate bag.  She may not have thought it was that important to him or should be (and quite honestly, should it be?).  Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.  And sometimes a little flexibility is in order.  The fact that he mumbles, closes off, and doesn't present his side of things in any convincing manner is also suspect in my book.  If he is so closed off and has such stiff boundaries that it mortally offends him if a woman makes any suggestion or does anything her way like decides what bag to put stuff in, that's a red flag for me in a relationship.  Even my own "don't tell me what to do" husband thinks he has big issues, and he has told me that because he watches the show!

On 2/23/2024 at 3:15 PM, Crashcourse said:

YMMV to all this.  After all, this is a "reality" show with questionable amounts of actual...you know....reality.   

Therefore, I'm not gonna spend my time playing armchair psychologist with people I don't even know, but Becca, to me, doesn't look like she's being gaslighted at all.  She knows what's up.  And down.

That's just my opinion about this whole mess, and I hope we can leave it at that.

NEXT!   😆

Totally agreed, and thank you!  NEXT!!!  😉

[Lindz]

They didn't make Clare move out of their apartment?!!! Is she just there for filming? This is the 2nd time since they split she's been filmed in there! GET OUT!!!!

[Lindz]

Becca's swimsuit was sooooooo much better than that bikini. It was a good style!

[Lindz]

I'm mad at Michael letting Chloe wear that bandana badly when he knows how to wear it right. I hope he tried to fix it & that was cut, but I doubt it. I want a partner who would make sure I look right & that would be a strike! I think she misinterprets his "de-escalating" as avoiding conflict. I think keeping things from escalating to an inappropriate level is FANTASTIC!!! We have no idea of what it looks like for them, so her judgment on what her idea is of that is stupid.

[Lindz]

OMG Becca complained about their 1st night of the retreat AGAIN?!! He mumbled because she said they didn't need a different bag???? SERIOUSLY?!!! Oh, he feels micromanaged by her...over a damn bag?!! REALLY?!! I don't believe that's really it. Like it's her ignoring & overriding his requests, maybe? 🤔 What was their plan? Tackle tough topics when they know each other better? Yeah. Right. 🤣 How'd that work out for them? Seems like he avoids talking about his dislikes & she talks about her dislikes the wrong way. Classic examples of letting it build until it spills out in a bad way. 🤷‍♀️

[princelina]

12 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Considering that most, if not all, of the men seem to have been recruited, I wonder what they were promised to be on the show.

Years ago I read an interview with a guy from MAFS in England that they were lured in to apply for a "dating show" and weren't told it was marriage until after several rounds of interviews right before it started.  I don't know if it's true for him or for MAFS in the US but it makes sense

Edited February 29 by princelina

[Lindz]

Cam makes no sense saying he'd say yes if Clare does. They really should've probed him about that. What is he saying yes to? Divorcing later??? Surely, he didn't mean to stay married & live like they're living. FOR WHAT?!! He can't seriously believe anything is different between them & they'll change. He's seeming delusional like Emily, while Clare seems past it like Brennan.

 

[Elizzikra]

50 minutes ago, Lindz said:

They didn't make Clare move out of their apartment?!!! Is she just there for filming? This is the 2nd time since they split she's been filmed in there! GET OUT!!!!

I guess it's paid up and it's easier to film the more people are living in the same place, so why not. I might consider staying under the same circumstances - the apartment is nicer than anything I had when I was renting...

[princelina]

55 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I guess it's paid up and it's easier to film the more people are living in the same place, so why not. I might consider staying under the same circumstances - the apartment is nicer than anything I had when I was renting...

Other people have lived alone in the apartments - it seems if you are not the one to refuse to live there, you are allowed to stay

 

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Lindz said:

Cam makes no sense saying he'd say yes if Clare does. They really should've probed him about that. What is he saying yes to? Divorcing later??? Surely, he didn't mean to stay married & live like they're living. FOR WHAT?!! He can't seriously believe anything is different between them & they'll change. He's seeming delusional like Emily, while Clare seems past it like Brennan.

Cam obviously doesn't want to be in that marriage or he might have tried to make an appearance in the past couple of weeks.  I think he's banking on Clare saying no first so his decision is made for him.  But he thinks it makes him look good on camera to say he would say "yes" if she does so that's why he's doing that.  Another one only about how all this makes him look to the public.  What a bunch of pathetic losers the men are this season!  Although maybe not Michael, there's still hope for him.

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I guess it's paid up and it's easier to film the more people are living in the same place, so why not. I might consider staying under the same circumstances - the apartment is nicer than anything I had when I was renting...

Plus it's easier to keep the person around for filming purposes.