Syncopation

So Becca claims she is cold and needs to grab a coat. What does she do? She gets up with her dirty 'clay' hands, and bypasses her jacket and instead grabs Austin's jacket with her dirty clay hands. Then, she gets all 'hurt' because he says he wished she had washed her hands first? Yeah, what a creep for not wanting his coat to get messed up --- although she bypassed her own coat so her coat wouldn't get messed up. When she finally grabs her own coat, she complains that he should have cared more about her shivering than her dirty hands grabbing his coat. What a selfish, self-centered woman. Maybe she should have cared more about him and grabbed her own coat from the beginning. It's all 'her narrative' all of the time ---- even when we can actually see her self-serving actions. Yeah Becca, you were cold and had to immediately grab your coat with your dirty hands --- oh wait, you grabbed his coat because that is what you wanted at that moment --- but sure, feel rejected because he is surprised you chose his coat over your own to grab with your dirty hands.

For all of Austen's problems with communication, did anyone else notice the one-sided view Becca presented about the 'off camera' situation in the gift shop at the Wolf Preserve? Her take was he wouldn't let her help bag 'his' purchases and mumbled his frustration with her and she felt rejected once again. Then we find out his side, which is that he wanted a separate bag, but she took over and started putting his stuff in her bag 'helping' him. He said he doesn't like being told what to do and she is crying because he wouldn't let her 'help him. She wasn't helping him, she was deciding for him. Becca was totally clueless about her micromanaging -- and crying like he was rejecting 'her' not her micromanaging. She did not deny the bagging issue. Again, if this is what she does off camera with so little self-awareness...maybe she is also micromanaging how he should show affection. She did say he mumbled when they were discussing how to show more physical affection, etc. My husband would hate both scenarios of micromanaging...and I would hate it in reverse. We all know Austen has verbally indicated he doesn't like being told what to do. The fact that Becca continues to micromanage him and then cries and blames him for rejecting her when he literally told her to stop telling him what to do would absolutely cause me to mumble my frustration under my breath in recurring situations -because clearly you don't listen to me. Yes, Austen is more 'on' (affectionate) in front of the cameras --- but Becca is more accepting of him on camera (not telling him what to do/micromanaging), so maybe it is easier for him to initiate affection. Once we found out she is telling him what to do 'off' camera (her take was so one-sided about helping him to 'bag' his purchases - you are not helping when you take over and don't allow the other person to get a separate bag) I re-evaluated their off camera give and take. Why does she get to frame all their interactions off camera, and when he mumbles his frustration and closes off, why does she get to cry, blame him, and say he is rejecting her and boohoo she is so wonderful trying to 'help' him off camera. Austen has his problems, but Becca has a very self-serving view of their situation and feels justified in presenting her one-sided viewpoint as 'the' reality.

That whole break up between Peter and Rachel (my favorite Bachelorette by far) left me with a lot of dissonance. I think Peter was waiting for some validation that if he went all the way and proposed, that she wanted to marry him and would say yes ---- not reject him for Bryan. She was in the drivers seat and he was uncertain. I have seen many bachelors and bachelorettes have similar fears. Peter is an introvert and wanted a very clear signal that he was the one before he asked her to marry him. Remember, he knew she had been kissing, etc. all these other guys, he saw the gift she gave to Bryan, and she wasn't willing to give him any confirmation that he was the one (and in the past, other bachelor/bachelorettes clearly signaled their final choices they were the one). Then, he asked her point blank if she was ready to marry him and she said she couldn't answer that. So, was she all in? Was she trying to get him to propose before she turned him down (like she did with Dean and Eric)? Is she paid more if she gets more "I love you's" from the guys? He was very clear that his proposal meant he was all in --- so if she wasn't all in he didn't want to propose. My husband is an introvert and was exactly the same way --- he needed affirmation that he was 'the one' and then he was all in. She is still by far my favorite bachelorette, but this ending left me feeling extremely ambivalent.