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Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

JTMacc99

By JTMacc99
in Everything Else

Mod-Tigerkatze
Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

We all have been drawn into off-topic discussions, me included. There's little that's off-topic when it comes to Chit Chat, so the only ask is that you please remember that this is the Chit Chat topic and that there's a subforum for all things health and wellness here.

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Bastet

Bastet

(edited)
2 hours ago, Dimity said:

When I went to my high school reunion a few years ago a guy came up to me and said he had  had a crush on me back in the day.  I had absolutely no idea. 

When I was a freshman, I had a massive crush on a junior in my geometry class.  Fast forward to the summer my class was getting ready to head off to college and a friend had a going-away party.  A classmate of ours brought my crush with her -- they were life-long neighbors, he was home and bored, so she dragged him along.  Crush and I got to talking, and he revealed he'd wanted to ask me out but was too nervous.  I had no inkling; we'd talked a little in class, but I never got that vibe.  I was giving serious thought to seeing if he wanted to hook up that night, when people came to get me because a friend was drunk out of his very mind and asking for me (as he puked all over our host's bathroom floor), so I had to go take care of him and by the time I got his drunk ass settled, Classmate and Crush had left.  Alas.

My parents used to ask me why most of the guys at school who asked me out/took me on dates were 1-3 years ahead of me instead of in my class (two years ahead was my limit for saying yes if I was interested; three years seemed creepy).  Price of having a smart kid, folks; I'm usually in class with a lot of older students.  I mostly dated guys from other schools, guys my own age I met elsewhere and we could have fun Saturday nights without me having to put up with them all week.  (And broke up with more than one because he was ticked I wouldn't spend my Friday nights with him, too; nope, that was girls' night -- we'd go straight from school to someone's house to hang out, go out, and then come back for a slumber party.)

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PRgal

PRgal

(edited)
21 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

I’m no where near 50 or 45. To me he’s too old. He keeps saying how lonely he is living with his cat lol. Well at least he’s not married. Why am I a magnet for married men who want to cheat? 

Oops went too far. Apologies.

If "cat ladies" are odd types, then "cat gentlemen" are probably even moreso.

Edited by PRgal
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shapeshifter

shapeshifter

(edited)
20 minutes ago, PRgal said:

If "cat ladies" are odd types, then "cat gentlemen" are probably even moreso.

That's my first thought.

However, my first year working at my last job of 19 years, a professor my age suggested we get together. He lived with his mom and had a cat. I suspect my boss told him I was interested because I had mentioned to her that I loved his voice in the classroom.
But I was not expecting his invite, and said no thank you.

There was also a tech services guy a little bit younger than I am about whom a work friend was always saying we'd be a cute couple. I liked talking to him about technology, photography, etc., but that's all. Anyway, he was another cat guy who lived with mom who would be fine for someone. 

But I think both have since dated but are still single, so maybe the living with mom and having a cat is a bit of a red flag for marriage? (They're both 60-70 now.)

My daughter who makes a lot of money writing up policy recommendations based on statistical research would roll her eyes at my reaching a conclusion from a sample size of 2.

Edited by shapeshifter
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GHScorpiosRule

GHScorpiosRule

(edited)

I’m so happy! And it’s probably for a silly reason, but oh well.

Friend is going to India and he had room to take four of my pants-two that go with the suits I wear in Winter or when I have to be in court. Remember last year, when I posted how I had to roll them up because I hadn’t realized how much weight I’d lost and that I hadn’t worn them in over five years?

The tailor my mom uses has magic fingers. He altered my summer capri pants last Spring and you can’t even tell where the stitches are. So I know he’ll do the same for these pants. The other two also need to be hemmed at the bottom cuffs.

I can’t find a decent tailor here or one that isn’t too expensive and I don’t want to risk them messing up. So since my friend goes to India on a regular basis, he told me he would take them to my Mom.

Oh and what a GLORIOUS day today! ☀️ was out and Summer is here! And my leasing office turned on the AC! Got my car washed, removing all the pollen and other crap and it’s all nice and clean and shiny. Two more months and it will paid off. That’s a nice chunk I can bank in my savings.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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Yeah No

Yeah No

19 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Awww.💞
If anyone ever felt that way about me, I was oblivious. 
Dad told me more than once that the minute he saw Mom he knew he'd never be happy without her.

I would never have known my husband had any interest in my if his best friend, who was dating my best female friend didn't clue me in on it.  He kept it that secret.  He only asked me out months later because his friend told him he thought I would be OK with it by that time.  We all used to go out together and I had developed an interest in him after repeated exposure.  Kind of like Leonard and Penny!

16 hours ago, Dimity said:

When I went to my high school reunion a few years ago a guy came up to me and said he had  had a crush on me back in the day.  I had absolutely no idea.  Anyway I am sure if he was giving off any signals I was totally oblivious.  Not gonna lie, it did feel good to know someone had felt that way about me back then.  Would have felt even better if I'd known about it back then but you can't have everything! 

I related in a previous post how a few guys from HS came up to me at one of my reunions years ago to tell me the same thing.  I had no idea either.  I asked them why they never let me know and they all said they were too shy and were sure I would turn them down.  I had a crush on one of them myself and I thought I made it obvious that I liked him but he told me he knew but he still didn't have the confidence to approach me.  So it probably wasn't that you missed anything.  They were probably doing their best to hide it from you!

16 hours ago, Bastet said:

My parents used to ask me why most of the guys at school who asked me out/took me on dates were 1-3 years ahead of me instead of in my class (two years ahead was my limit for saying yes if I was interested; three years seemed creepy).  Price of having a smart kid, folks; I'm usually in class with a lot of older students.  I mostly dated guys from other schools, guys my own age I met elsewhere and we could have fun Saturday nights without me having to put up with them all week.  (And broke up with more than one because he was ticked I wouldn't spend my Friday nights with him, too; nope, that was girls' night -- we'd go straight from school to someone's house to hang out, go out, and then come back for a slumber party.)

I also dated older guys back then myself.  I remember reading in teen magazines how young men matured later than young women and often seemed too immature to us in HS.  So that was how I saw it.  Also I went to a school famous for its nerd population so many of the guys my age in Hs were painfully shy/socially awkward and not ready to date yet.

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Yeah No

Yeah No

12 hours ago, Bastet said:

I think a man having a cat is a sign he ... likes cats.  And, as a bonus, that he's confident enough not to deny that based on some sexist stereotype.

7 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Cats are living breathing lessons in  consent. Men who like cats are usually sweethearts. Confident but not arrogant. 

My husband said he didn't like cats when we first met.  Like me, he grew up with and loved dogs.  I was never a cat person either although I never would go so far as to say I didn't like them because I love all animals.  Later I realized why he said he didn't like them.  He grew up in an inner city environment where the cats you tended to meet were hardened, tough alley cats that would have fights at night and the like.  I had a similar experience although I did know a few house cats that weren't like that.

Neither of us ever really knew how wonderful cats were until a friend's mom died and left a young kitty.  At the time he lived in an apartment that didn't allow pets so we ended up fostering her for several years.  This little ginger tabby stole our hearts and it was hard to give her back when our friend got married and finally bought his own home.  I'll never forget when several years later he called me to let me know she was dying and if I wanted to see her again I'd better get to the vet's office about 35 minutes away.  I was at work at the time and had to leave early to do it.  I'm glad I did.  When I saw her my heart broke as she had lost so much weight.  From the look in her eyes I will swear to this day that she knew she had used up the last of her "9 lives" and that she appreciated that I came to see her one last time.  😪

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JustHereForFood

JustHereForFood

14 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

My daughter who makes a lot of money writing up policy recommendations based on statistical research would roll her eyes at my reaching a conclusion from a sample size of 2.

Ha! My first thought when a man with a cat is mentioned is a European politician who shall remain unnamed, who is old, single his whole life, lives with a cat and is vocal about animal rights ... and is one of the worst misogynists I can think of. People are strange.

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Yeah No

Yeah No

16 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

My daughter who makes a lot of money writing up policy recommendations based on statistical research would roll her eyes at my reaching a conclusion from a sample size of 2.

I have drawn some of my best and most accurate conclusions based on a sample size of 2.  Sometimes, not always, a good sense of intuition is enough in my opinion.  I hesitate to share some of those conclusions because it attracts arguments from people that need more information or a formal study to make them.  Sometimes even the studies aren't as accurate but I'm sure that will also attract arguments.  I trust my gut instinct on a lot of things.  It has always served me well, especially when drawing conclusions about people.  I tend to be good at things everyone thinks they know better about than I do.  I sometimes wish I excelled at a hard science so I could have facts to back up my instincts and other people wouldn't think they could challenge me all the time on them and would listen to me.  Usually by the time my instincts prove correct those people are long gone and even if they aren't they wouldn't appreciate it if I said, "See, I was right", LOL.  So I try not to do that.  

I did do it recently when a friend thought a coworker had their best interest at heart in a certain situation.  They asked me for my advice about it.  I knew better and warned them not to trust them.  I had never met the person but I just knew their motives were not good.  Of course my friend didn't listen to me and later regretted it big time.  Happens to me ALL the time.  I did gently tell them I warned them about this much later.  I couldn't help myself that time.  I get tired of people asking for my advice and then arguing with me when I give it, LOL.

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shapeshifter

shapeshifter

(edited)
41 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I have drawn some of my best and most accurate conclusions based on a sample size of 2.  Sometimes, not always, a good sense of intuition is enough in my opinion.…I trust my gut instinct on a lot of things.  It has always served me well, especially when drawing conclusions about people.…

This👆 has been true for me and even moreso as I've grown older, racking up a crap-ton of experiences.
But even in my 20s an acquaintance remarked upon my uncanny ability to judge people — probably acquired when I hitchhiked across country with my paint box and little else.
Of course, I still make mistakes because there are a lot of things I have not experienced or studied — but I also have enough experiences of being wrong and wishing I could do them over, so that I don't assume I've got it right now either.
Mostly this comes up with my daughter, and later, if I was right, she says sheepishly that I was right. 
Not so much with the Home Owners Association, heh, but sometimes.

I've learned to sweet-talk tech support or billing agencies into seeing my logic, especially with the "it's not you, it's me" charm of things like, "I'm getting used to this hearing aid; could you please talk more slowly" — which allows me to stop them to critique the validity of the script that they don't even hear themselves when they recite it.

Edited by shapeshifter
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EtheltoTillie

EtheltoTillie

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

 

I've learned to sweet-talk tech support or billing agencies into seeing my logic, especially with the "it's not you, it's me" charm of things like, "I'm getting used to this hearing aid; could you please talk more slowly" — which allows me to stop them to critique the validity of the script that they don't even hear themselves when they recite it.

This is a very valuable skill.  It's very useful to be able to co-opt the people on the other end of the line and get them on your side.  You don't have to be right, just get a result.

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Ancaster

Ancaster

On 4/27/2024 at 6:50 AM, EtheltoTillie said:

Yes, Mrs. Doubtfire is also a misfire for me.  And Robin Williams was always too over-the-top for me.  The one cross-dressing movie I can stand is Victor, Victoria. 

And back to Tootsie, I couldn't stand the simpering Southern accent. 

Julie Andrews makes my skin crawl (I'm British, for what it's worth).

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peacheslatour

peacheslatour

12 minutes ago, blackwing said:

Oo...salacious!  Why do you dislike her so much?  I'm not even British and I think she's a worldwide treasure.

I wouldn't go that far but I too am curious about Anacaster's reaction.

5 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

lol This has been true for most of the guys I know who have cats! I haven't noticed any pattern with men who have dogs. 

I haven't noticed any difference in men who own dogs either but I have seen some cat hating men and they,  to a man. been abusive assholes.

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Cloud9Shopper

Cloud9Shopper

I wish I didn’t have to go to choir tonight, but since there are only three or four practices left after this (and we’re off next week) I decided to tough it out and go. I was talking to my mom yesterday and telling her how the director works for the church as well doing some other admin type tasks, so I think he thinks that because the church is his full time job that everyone else also wants to spend 90 minutes at rehearsals. Which…not true, for me anyway. That and I feel like the fact that he’s so inefficient and other members are so lost makes practices longer. If Denise who sits in front of me and can’t hear well and can’t keep her binder organized needs help, we have to stop to help her. Oops, we’re practicing this next song but Brenda and Carol don’t have a copy! Time to stop practice! Stop practice again five or 10 minutes later to hand out the next song no one has! Oh, and let’s do this part, that part and the second harmony before moving on. 

And then there’s Mary and Linda sitting behind me who still are attached to the way Janice did things when she was the director but she’s been dead for six years and it’s clear that people who sang with her somehow have yet to move on from “when Janice was here we did this!” 

Honestly, if he just made copies of everything ahead of time, handed them out before practice, and people would keep their binders organized…maybe it wouldn’t all feel so frenetic. I hate that I have to sit there and be annoyed because other people can’t keep it together and he never has the copies made that he needs and it’s a constant up and down to hand stuff out and check binders. 

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peacheslatour

peacheslatour

11 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I wish I didn’t have to go to choir tonight, but since there are only three or four practices left after this (and we’re off next week) I decided to tough it out and go. I was talking to my mom yesterday and telling her how the director works for the church as well doing some other admin type tasks, so I think he thinks that because the church is his full time job that everyone else also wants to spend 90 minutes at rehearsals. Which…not true, for me anyway. That and I feel like the fact that he’s so inefficient and other members are so lost makes practices longer. If Denise who sits in front of me and can’t hear well and can’t keep her binder organized needs help, we have to stop to help her. Oops, we’re practicing this next song but Brenda and Carol don’t have a copy! Time to stop practice! Stop practice again five or 10 minutes later to hand out the next song no one has! Oh, and let’s do this part, that part and the second harmony before moving on. 

And then there’s Mary and Linda sitting behind me who still are attached to the way Janice did things when she was the director but she’s been dead for six years and it’s clear that people who sang with her somehow have yet to move on from “when Janice was here we did this!” 

Honestly, if he just made copies of everything ahead of time, handed them out before practice, and people would keep their binders organized…maybe it wouldn’t all feel so frenetic. I hate that I have to sit there and be annoyed because other people can’t keep it together and he never has the copies made that he needs and it’s a constant up and down to hand stuff out and check binders. 

 That does not sound fun.

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Dimity

Dimity

1 hour ago, blackwing said:

Oo...salacious!  Why do you dislike her so much?  I'm not even British and I think she's a worldwide treasure.

I think she's wonderful!  I've got her autobiog out from the library now.  One of the things I did a few years ago that was a lot more fun than I expected was going to a Sound of Music singalong at a theatre.  Not gonna pretend I was any competition for Julie but it was a blast.

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annzeepark914

annzeepark914

8 minutes ago, Trini said:

Spent most of the day in ER today - I'm okay! - not looking for sympathy; but just want to remind people to get your rest, drink your water (WATER!), get your check-ups, screenings, and cleanings; and just don't take your health for granted. Literally just the basics, y'all.

Hope you are now A-ok!!

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Ancaster

Ancaster

5 hours ago, blackwing said:

Oo...salacious!  Why do you dislike her so much?  I'm not even British and I think she's a worldwide treasure.

 

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I wouldn't go that far but I too am curious about Anacaster's reaction.

 

No good reason at all, just an irrational dislike.  Something smarmy about her maybe?

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Bastet

Bastet

(edited)
On 4/28/2024 at 9:46 PM, peacheslatour said:

Cats are living breathing lessons in  consent.

This is such a good point.  Most of the men I've encountered who dislike cats (not simply choose not to share a life with them, are allergic, or are neutral on them -- those who actively can't stand them) are intimidated by their independence, and that generally translates to being equally threatened by women who dare to have rules for interaction.

There's this persistent attitude that dogs are more loyal and attached than cats, but reality seems to simply be that cats may require more proof before reciprocating to the same degree.  Pets are pets, and anyone who properly regards and cares for them as family upon choosing to acquire one gets points in my book (even if, say, one's preferred animal companion is a snake, a species that freaks me right out).  It's just that men who have, exclusively or among others, cats as their pets get bonus points beyond our shared interest because of all the sexist bullshit involved that they clearly dismiss as the nonsense it is.

Edited by Bastet
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Yeah No

Yeah No

2 hours ago, Bastet said:

This is such a good point.  Most of the men I've encountered who dislike  cats (not simply choose not to share a life with them, are allergic, or are neutral on them -- those who actively can't stand them) are intimidated by their independence, and that generally translates to being equally threatened by women who dare to have rules for interaction.

There's this persistent attitude that dogs are more loyal and attached than cats, but reality seems to simply be that cats may require more proof before reciprocating to the same degree.  Pets are pets, and anyone who properly regards and cares for them as family upon choosing to acquire one gets points in my book (even if, say, one's preferred animal companion is a snake, a species that freaks me right out).  It's just that men who have, exclusively or among others, cats as their pets get bonus points beyond our shared interest because of all the sexist bullshit involved that they clearly dismiss as the nonsense it is.

So true!  The following is going to be the broadest of generalizations, but men that are into being dominant over women will probably prefer dogs because they are able to exert their dominance over them and the dog will still submit to them as their "master", while cats are not motivated in the same way.  If a man is threatened by independent women that they can't dominate they're likely not going to appreciate that about cats either.

I've also known men not motivated to dominate who prefer the adoring attention dogs give them over cats that may or may not constantly acknowledge their existence or make them feel important.

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shapeshifter

shapeshifter

7 hours ago, Bastet said:

Pets are pets, and anyone who properly regards and cares for them as family upon choosing to acquire one gets points in my book (even if, say, one's preferred animal companion is a snake, a species that freaks me right out). 

During the 15 years I lived 10 miles from a town of 3,000, I would occasionally see a Vietnam vet who rode his bicycle to town with an iguana tucked under his shirt. 

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GHScorpiosRule

GHScorpiosRule

(edited)

Another First World Problem, but I wanted to reach out and thank @Yeah No-I tried Toppik again and this time, not using the stupid baster (apparently, that only works on the huge bottle and not the small one), and it actually works! Also got the spray to "lock it in" so if my fingers touch the crown of my forehead, they won't come away smudgy. It's not as good as my real hair, but looks passable enough I don't see my scalp between the hair that hasn't grown back post-chemo.

The only problem I see is having to wash my hair every time I use it, because I don't want it messing my bedsheets. So have decided to only use it when I REALLYYY need to-like  today at work in the office and on Saturday, when I get my updated picture for my driver's license-yeah, I've postponed, and rescheduled for the past two months because I've been too lazy/tired to go. But definitely going on Saturday.

I hate (and this should go in peeves) that we can no longer just walk in at the MVA here in MD. We have to make stupid appointments.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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BlueSkies

BlueSkies

(edited)

While I feel like I'm one of the only people I know that has a lot of nostalgia for my childhood...  I notice a lot of grown adults still like Walt Disney World or Disney.  For example, the woman at the doctor's office I just came from had a Walt Disney World jacket.

 

 

I liked a couple Disney movies back in the day and went to Walt Disney World once when I was in middle school.  I guess my feeling is neutral about it.  

 

 

But I'm going to assume there's at least some Disney fans that use this site or read this post.  Is the main appeal to you feeding your inner child kind of thing? I mean in some ways that's why Theodore Seville is my avatar.  

Edited by BlueSkies
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Ohiopirate02

Ohiopirate02

20 minutes ago, BlueSkies said:

While I feel like I'm one of the only people I know that has a lot of nostalgia for my childhood...  I notice a lot of grown adults still like Walt Disney World or Disney.  For example, the woman at the doctor's office I just came from had a Walt Disney World jacket.

 

 

I liked a couple Disney movies back in the day and went to Walt Disney World once when I was in middle school.  I guess my feeling is neutral about it.  

 

 

But I'm going to assume there's at least some Disney fans that use this site or read this post.  Is the main appeal to you feeding your inner child kind of thing? I mean in some ways that's why Theodore Seville is my avatar.  

I could be a Disney adult if I had the funds.  I went to Orlando in December 2022 with my family and had a blast as an adult there.  I could have spent another few days there just exploring everything Disney has to offer.  The parks and hotels are great, and Disney provides the correct level of service for the price you pay to be there.  There is so much to do there and not all of it costs an arm and a leg.  The hotels even the "value" (putting that one in quotes because the cheapest hotel rooms on Disney property start at $200 per night) ones have so much going on in them and it's free to explore the common areas of the properties.  I remember visiting a couple of hotels just to see the gingerbread houses and Christmas decorations as we waited for our rooms to be ready.  

Also, Disney as a corporation has purchased so many different IPs that the parks are more than just the legacy Disney characters and their animation.  There's the Avatar area of Animal Kingdom and Galaxy's Edge in Hollywood Studios for example.  

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Dimity

Dimity

(edited)

Sunday night in front of the Wonderful World of Disney was my childhood!  The only Disney park I've ever been to was the one in Paris - and I have to say there were way more adults there the day we visited than there were children!  I have a friend who is a huge Disney nut, she goes to the parks, she goes on the cruises and her office is a shrine filled with all sorts of Disney memorabilia.  I don't think she's reliving her childhood, she just likes Disney related stuff the way some others obsess over Star Wars or Dungeons and Dragons or Harry Potter.

Edited by Dimity
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Ohiopirate02

Ohiopirate02

2 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I need to take my son to Disney.  I don't want him to be like me, and didn't have a Disney experience until the age of 12 (almost 13)!  Only question is whether to do the theme park or a cruise...

You could always do both.  The distance between WDW in Orlando and Cape Canaveral in Florida is close enough that Disney does packages which includes transportation from certain Disney resorts to the cruise terminal and back.  It really depends on the Disney experience you want.  

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Dimity

Dimity

(edited)
17 minutes ago, partofme said:

I’ve never been to Disney World or Disneyland.  

I am totally not an amusement park type person so going to a Disney park wasn't something I saw myself bothering with.  We did end up going to the EuroDisney one when my kids were 10 and 12 and I admit it I enjoyed it thoroughly!  Nothing like going to a theme park with a cynical 10 yr old and watching him lose his mind when he saw Goofy up close and personal :).

Edited by Dimity
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Bastet

Bastet

A friend's husband is into Disneyland, going several times a year, and for him it's not a reliving childhood thing as he never went as a kid.  (I'm not sure if he took his kids there when they were little.)  He just likes it.  I don't understand it, but I've talked myself out of the nasty "Weirdo!" reaction I used to have to such adults (I don't know why I was so judgmental about something innocuous).

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kristen111

kristen111

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

I need to take my son to Disney.  I don't want him to be like me, and didn't have a Disney experience until the age of 12 (almost 13)!  Only question is whether to do the theme park or a cruise...

Take him to Disney.  He will be thrilled.  We are a Disney family for years.  My youngest walked the whole Magic Kingdom at 3 years old.  She didn’t want the stroller.  In College, she tried out to be a character, got it and wound up a character for 7 years while in school.  There’s a land for everyone.  All interesting.  My husband used to drop us off at Magic Kingdom, go play golf, then pick us up later on.  The Resorts to stay at are great.  Expensive, but so convenient.  We stay at Caribbean Beach.  Love it.  I rather go there than any other place.  I also have a new jacket too, lol.  It’s a happy place for everyone.  Expensive, but what isn’t ?  My Disney daughter bought a timeshare there in Ft. Wilderness Lodge.  Goes very November.  No room for Mom and Dad tho, dammit.

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Ohiopirate02

Ohiopirate02

6 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Take him to Disney.  He will be thrilled.  We are a Disney family for years.  My youngest walked the whole Magic Kingdom at 3 years old.  She didn’t want the stroller.  In College, she tried out to be a character, got it and wound up a character for 7 years while in school.  There’s a land for everyone.  All interesting.  My husband used to drop us off at Magic Kingdom, go play golf, then pick us up later on.  The Resorts to stay at are great.  Expensive, but so convenient.  We stay at Caribbean Beach.  Love it.  I rather go there than any other place.  I also have a new jacket too, lol.  It’s a happy place for everyone.  Expensive, but what isn’t ?  My Disney daughter bought a timeshare there in Ft. Wilderness Lodge.  Goes very November.  No room for Mom and Dad tho, dammit.

I stayed in the Jamaica section of Caribbean Beach and had the perfect room.  Walk down the stairs and across the parking lot to the bus stop or walk a bit further to catch the Skyliner.  It was also maybe a 5 minute walk to the main building with the bar, restaurants, and pool.  I have no idea how I lucked into that room.  My research before all said the resort was huge and expect long walks, so I was expecting to get put into the furthest building on the property. 

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