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Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

We all have been drawn into off-topic discussions, me included. There's little that's off-topic when it comes to Chit Chat, so the only ask is that you please remember that this is the Chit Chat topic and that there's a subforum for all things health and wellness here.

If there's something you need clarification on, please keep in mind that it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; talk to them and not about what they said.
If you disagree, consider how we can express our differing opinions and still respect the other's opinion and recognize it as valid.
We're all different people, so different perspectives and points of views are natural, welcome even for growing a healthy community. What is important is that we disagree with empathy and consideration. (If need be, check out the how do we have healthy debates guidelines for more).

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27 minutes ago, PRgal said:

However, if someone at work called me ma'am, then it's a sign that I probably did something wrong…

[“— sounds so much like the b-word”]
Yes. This👆needs to be said so there is no misunderstanding about what ma’am means and sounds like and feels like to many people.

About 32 years ago my ex’s fiancé was Ma’amming me repeatedly during a hostile conversation. I have zero memory about what we were discussing, but I do know she was using Ma’am in place of the B word as if it somehow made it classier.

Edited by shapeshifter
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10 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

My mom loved jury duty. I've never been summoned.

My dad enjoyed serving on grand juries. I'm so glad I was never selected altho' I've been summoned about 4 times. A few times I was invited, along with other area residents, to meet with a law firm. They'd explain their case and ask us questions. We were paid $50 each time. Now that was enjoyable.

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I enjoyed serving on jury duty in the past, and would like to do so again as a lawyer since it gives more insight than any team of jury selection experts can, but my practice as a civil rights lawyer (focused now on women's rights, but having covered a variety of issues) means in criminal cases prosecutors never want to take a chance on me -- unless prosecuting a domestic violence case (I once ran the legal clinic of a DV shelter and continue to do DV policy work), in which case the defense won't have it.  (I have answered that, no, I can't not know what I know about how under-reported and under-prosecuted a crime it is, but I also will not assume this case going to trial means the defendant is guilty.  I am all about burden of proof when it comes to legal ramifications.)

Civil cases are a bit more hit and miss, but the type of cases I've been put on a panel for since becoming a lawyer have all been such that one side or the other thought my practice area was too big a risk for their client.  Completely fair.  But also funny, since I examine my subconscious bias and confirmation bias more than most, appreciate the jury trial system despite its flaws, and take my oath as a juror as seriously as I do my oath as an officer of the court, so I'd actually make a good juror.  I'd refrain from acting as foreperson, as that's where I might over-step and unintentionally bring in my legal knowledge beyond what was presented in the case to influence the other jurors, but I could do it. 

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4 hours ago, PRgal said:

I also don't like it when peers ask their children to call me "auntie" even if I'm not an honorary aunt to their kids (I get that it's cultural custom, but they're ASSUMING that I follow Hong Kong custom.

Like most things, I don't think it's specific to any one culture. My parents friends were aunt so-and-so to me. Same with my childhood friends and their parents friends.

People may keel over when they learn I called my mom's best friend, E, her first name my entire life (or "Robbie's mom"), but her (best friends) mom I called "Queen Esther". Mrs. Last name was too formal and I just thought it was hilarious she had the same name as the person in this Purim story. Queen Esther long passed on but my mom still refers to her as that when talking to me about her.

I know we've had the ma'am, first name, last name, auntie, culture vs generational discussion before and I'm not going to rehash it beyond this. Sharing this little antidote about Queen Esther made me smile tonight. She is missed.

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47 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I enjoyed serving on jury duty in the past, and would like to do so again as a lawyer since it gives more insight than any team of jury selection experts can, but my practice as a civil rights lawyer (focused now on women's rights, but having covered a variety of issues) means in criminal cases prosecutors never want to take a chance on me -- unless prosecuting a domestic violence case (I once ran the legal clinic of a DV shelter and continue to do DV policy work), in which case the defense won't have it.  (I have answered that, no, I can't not know what I know about how under-reported and under-prosecuted a crime it is, but I also will not assume this case going to trial means the defendant is guilty.  I am all about burden of proof when it comes to legal ramifications.)

Civil cases are a bit more hit and miss, but the type of cases I've been put on a panel for since becoming a lawyer have all been such that one side or the other thought my practice area was too big a risk for their client.  Completely fair.  But also funny, since I examine my subconscious bias and confirmation bias more than most, appreciate the jury trial system despite its flaws, and take my oath as a juror as seriously as I do my oath as an officer of the court, so I'd actually make a good juror.  I'd refrain from acting as foreperson, as that's where I might over-step and unintentionally bring in my legal knowledge beyond what was presented in the case to influence the other jurors, but I could do it. 

Your posts are always so educational! I always assumed lawyers couldn't serve or would never be picked.

I think I'd enjoy sitting on a jury but as a HSP I'd probably find most cases overwhelming and distressing. I don't want to make decisions that will punish other people and my anxiety will never let me have the peace that I made the right decision, regardless of the evidence.

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48 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Your posts are always so educational! I always assumed lawyers couldn't serve or would never be picked.

We're usually rejected because one side or the other fears we bring to much to the table based on practice area to give their side its due and then there's the general situation where you wind up with both sides not caring about specifics, just thinking lawyers know too much about the law, regardless -- you want jurors smart enough, but not too smart.  So it does generally feel like a waste of time to report, knowing we'll likely be dismissed even if we make it to a panel, but it's not a universal rule so it's not true we'll never be picked -- lawyers are indeed sometimes retained as jurors, it just depends on the combination of their practice area, the case, and the judgment of counsel. 

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Where I practise, lawyers cannot serve on juries.   Which is fortunate, because I would not be able to restrain myself from interjecting during the trial and hijacking jury deliberations. 

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16 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Just got a jury summons in the mail. I have been summoned three times now, and both times it was canceled (one was a Friday in June, the other was the week before Christmas). I’m kind of hoping I get to stay this time because as kind of a law geek, I want my IRL but not as exciting SVU experience. 🤣

It is a county court summons and they are not having me come in until the afternoon. Could go either way! The thrill begins. 🤣

The last time I was called to jury duty, we had to watch the video and then sit and wait while a lot of the other jurors were taken back.  Then the afternoon group came in and we waited some more (I finished reading a book that day).  Finally about 3:30 a judge came out to thank us for our service but everyone had accepted a plea that day and she asked if anyone had any questions.  This guy went off because of all the waiting we had to do that day.  She told the rest of us we could leave and told the guy he had to stay while she talked to him.  

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2 hours ago, Quof said:

Where I practise, lawyers cannot serve on juries.   Which is fortunate, because I would not be able to restrain myself from interjecting during the trial and hijacking jury deliberations. 

Hah! 🤣
Recently I happened to watch S7.E7 of Matlock, "The Juror," which is kind of a take on 12 Angry Men, in which Ben Matlock does indeed hijack the jury deliberations, but he does it wearing his calm persona, not his angry persona.

 

I've received about 4 letters for jury duty in the past 40+ years; I think they typically send them to new residents of a county about a year after living there (I've moved a lot).  Each time I "got out of it" by writing a letter and not even having to appear. The first was when I was a single mother with little resources or support, breastfeeding a baby. The most recent was due to my chronic pain that makes it impossible for me to sit for more than 20 minutes, after which the only thing I can focus on is the pain. I really would like to be on a jury, and this last time even asked if there were any Zoom juries, but was told (in Rochester, NY) "No, we don't do Zoom juries. They don't work." 

__________________

 I really would also like to be able to sit in restaurants, attend concerts, fly to Europe, etc., but it's too painful.

 

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Re: Sir or M’am: after being in martial arts for years, that just ends sentences naturally to my work people! 😆

Jury Duty-I got called once when I was 8 month pregnant. I didn’t mind going, but hoped I didn’t get picked because of needed bathroom breaks! They settled both cases. My dad ALWAYS got called, once on the same day for two different county courts! A friend served on a Federal grand jury. Took the Amtrak into the big city and racked up enough points during his 6 month duty for a nice train vacation.

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I have become pretty adept at signing petitions* pertaining to animal cruelty without seeing anything more than the headline (which is often more than enough). But yesterday and again today, by mistake, I saw more info than I meant to. It doesn't go away and it makes me excessively anxious and upset. I have some issues that make it very difficult to get rid of the information and to move along my day without doing something in an effort to "make up for" the thing -- a donation, an extra shift at the shelter, new toys for my cats, etc. The problem is not that these actions are wrong; they're fine and good and they benefit someone. The problem is the internal "need" (read: compulsion) I feel to make actions at all for something I didn't do. Anyway, I feel upset and sad and worried.

Haha, this ^ is so opposite of the "is extremely easily entertained into hysterical laughing at the most super-random shit" part of my personality!

*I know there's a possibility that these petitions may not make a real difference. I don't know. I still sign them though. 

Edited by TattleTeeny
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1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

Oooo!!!! Bussssttteeeedddddd!

Yeah, I was ready to leave, but I admit I would have loved to be a fly on the wall. 

I was just grateful the judge came out and thanked us for our service.  She could have just stay in chambers and ignored the fact we had been sitting there all day. 

Edited by Lisa418722
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1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

I have become pretty adept at signing petitions* pertaining to animal cruelty without seeing anything more than the headline (which is often more than enough). But yesterday and again today, by mistake, I saw more info than I meant to.

I feel you. Those are almost the only kind I sign anymore, figuring the authority they're petitioning is usually small enough so that they can be pushed into action. But the photos sometimes . . . We're signing because we love animals. Give us a break, please.

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3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I have become pretty adept at signing petitions* pertaining to animal cruelty without seeing anything more than the headline (which is often more than enough). But yesterday and again today, by mistake, I saw more info than I meant to...

 

2 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

I feel you. Those are almost the only kind I sign anymore, figuring the authority they're petitioning is usually small enough so that they can be pushed into action. But the photos sometimes . . . We're signing because we love animals. Give us a break, please.

The stuff I get in the mails breaks my heart.  I sign petitions, give what money I can and take good care of my fur babies and it is not enough.  I am haunted by images and memories...

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I just enjoyed watching one of my two favorite Seinfeld episodes: The Truth. Two really good character actors (Valerie Mahaffey and Siobhan Fallon) are so funny & perfect in their roles. So, I'm a happy camper these days now that reruns are on the Comedy Channel. They're the best antidote to today's depressing current events! 

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On 8/31/2023 at 9:12 AM, GHScorpiosRule said:

I'm not afraid of bats. Not like I am of snakes, and hairy spiders.

But. As I was dumping my cardboard (breaking down the boxes) and putting them in the appropriate bin in the laundry room late last night (each floor has this room for all tenants to use; wish my complex had washer/dryer in the unit, but oh well), when a flapping noise startled me.

At first, I thought it was a bird. But then I noticed the shape of the body and wings. It looked like a baby bat! I moved aside and kept the door open so it could leave, but I think it's hurt; it kept hopping and flapping, but didn't fly out. Ultimately, it hopped to behind the dryers.

I will be calling the leasing office to let them know. Not sure what they can do. But poor little bat.

Quoting myself to provide an update:

They were able to retrieve the baby bat and set it free.

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36 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

I just enjoyed watching one of my two favorite Seinfeld episodes: The Truth. Two really good character actors (Valerie Mahaffey and Siobhan Fallon) are so funny & perfect in their roles. So, I'm a happy camper these days now that reruns are on the Comedy Channel. They're the best antidote to today's depressing current events! 

For us, it's Friends. We haven't watched it since it's initial run. A lot of it is silly but the nineties were our favorite decade so it's been fun for us to go back there for a way to escape.

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16 hours ago, Bastet said:

I enjoyed serving on jury duty in the past, and would like to do so again as a lawyer since it gives more insight than any team of jury selection experts can, but my practice as a civil rights lawyer (focused now on women's rights, but having covered a variety of issues) means in criminal cases prosecutors never want to take a chance on me -- unless prosecuting a domestic violence case (I once ran the legal clinic of a DV shelter and continue to do DV policy work), in which case the defense won't have it.  (I have answered that, no, I can't not know what I know about how under-reported and under-prosecuted a crime it is, but I also will not assume this case going to trial means the defendant is guilty.  I am all about burden of proof when it comes to legal ramifications.)

Civil cases are a bit more hit and miss, but the type of cases I've been put on a panel for since becoming a lawyer have all been such that one side or the other thought my practice area was too big a risk for their client.  Completely fair.  But also funny, since I examine my subconscious bias and confirmation bias more than most, appreciate the jury trial system despite its flaws, and take my oath as a juror as seriously as I do my oath as an officer of the court, so I'd actually make a good juror.  I'd refrain from acting as foreperson, as that's where I might over-step and unintentionally bring in my legal knowledge beyond what was presented in the case to influence the other jurors, but I could do it. 

I only ever got to serve ONCE. It was a drug case and before I went back to school to become a paralegal. Since then? In the past five years, when I've received a summons? Been dismissed. I KNOW it's because I work in the legal field.

Pisses me off. Because I want to serve. I liked being on a jury.

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44 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

For us, it's Friends. We haven't watched it since it's initial run. A lot of it is silly but the nineties were our favorite decade so it's been fun for us to go back there for a way to escape.

For my husband and I it's Everybody Loves Raymond.  Comfort food TV for us.  Some episodes we give a miss to (but that's probably true for most long running sitcoms) but overall it's our go to for a respite from news headlines!

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1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

 

They were able to retrieve the baby bat and set it free.

This reminded me of an old episode of COPS. The person driving the car was a NYC Emergency Services Unit sergeant at the time. He has since passed away from cancer due to being at ground zero at TWTC. He had many calls, one of which he had to scale the Verrazano Bridge. When he was going to be on the show it was exciting. Then one of his calls was a rat in an apartment and another was for a bat. I’m thinking it was around 1994ish. Around 11:15 minutes is the bat. We had a good laugh about what made the show in comparison to more typical calls for him.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

For my husband and I it's Everybody Loves Raymond.  Comfort food TV for us.  Some episodes we give a miss to (but that's probably true for most long running sitcoms) but overall it's our go to for a respite from news headlines!

My mom and I were just watching that show earlier :D. 

"Frasier" is always a go-to for me as well. It's just so relaxing - I don't care how many times I've seen those episodes, that show still makes me laugh every single time. Definitely a good comfort series. 

For a more current example, the U.S. version of "Ghosts" is another good comfort show for me :). 

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45 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

For a more current example, the U.S. version of "Ghosts" is another good comfort show for me :). 

I saw a few random episodes of that and it really seemed good to me.  I'm going to try and find it somewhere where I can watch it from the beginning.  I love the Scout leader with the arrow in his neck!

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1 minute ago, Laura Holt said:

I saw a few random episodes of that and it really seemed good to me.  I'm going to try and find it somewhere where I can watch it from the beginning.  I love the Scout leader with the arrow in his neck!

Oh, great! Yeah, definitely recommend checking it out in full, you're in for a treat :D. I like him, too, he's fun, LOL. All the characters are wonderful, really, it's such a charming show. 

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3 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

For my husband and I it's Everybody Loves Raymond.  Comfort food TV for us.  Some episodes we give a miss to (but that's probably true for most long running sitcoms) but overall it's our go to for a respite from news headlines!

Thanks for reminding me to rewatch it. I don’t think I saw all the episodes in order anyway. 

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Oh, comfort shows! I have never been a huge sitcom person, but the ones I do like, I will love and adore forever and ever (I Love Lucy, The Office, Frasier, Roseanne, Barney Miller, and Modern Family. There are a few others that I really dig, but these are the ones that will always spring to mind). Though I still tend to watch (and binge) darker and nonfiction stuff, I feel like I have come to rely on these sitcoms -- especially The Office -- for background sound and, of course, comfort a lot over the last few years.

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44 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Oh, comfort shows! I have never been a huge sitcom person

Same

44 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

...but the ones I do like, I will love and adore forever and ever (...Barney Miller...

Yes, Barney Miller is my sitcom comfort show. 
I first watched it at most 10 years ago. 

But only yesterday did I notice that the title really should be "The 12th Precinct." 
The Pilot show was titled "The Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller," with the show intended to be split between work and home life (wikipedia.org/wiki/Barney_Miller, popmatters.com/barney-miller-season-1-2496233021.html).

The title did get shortened from  "The Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller" to "Barney Miller" when the premise changed to revolve around the squad room, but arguably, Hal Linden as Barney Miller is just part of an ensemble, not the focus of the show.

I'm guessing the title wasn't changed to "The 12th" because the Pilot title name of "Barney Miller" and the character played by Hal Linden already had some caché and name recognition among producers and others upon whom the future of the show rested.
But I don't see anything written about that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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14 hours ago, Annber03 said:

For a more current example, the U.S. version of "Ghosts" is another good comfort show for me :). 

I knew I recognized your name! Such a good show and the lines are hysterical (kudos to the writers).

My latest comfort shows are Murder, She Wrote, Golden Girls, and Bob's Burgers. 

I'm hoping the actors and writers strike gets resolved soon (in their favor) so tv shows and movies can get back into production. 

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All I know is that I used to get called on for jury duty on a regular basis but then after being the lone hold out trying to argue about whether  evidence was legit, I've not gotten called since in X number of year!

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7 hours ago, emma675 said:

I knew I recognized your name! Such a good show and the lines are hysterical (kudos to the writers).

Yes. So many great one-liners, and the cast's way with a line delivery just makes it all the funnier. I love the chemistry between them, too, they play off each other so well. The cast seems pretty close off set, too, which no doubt helps :). 

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On 9/1/2023 at 12:22 AM, Bastet said:

We're usually rejected because one side or the other fears we bring to much to the table based on practice area to give their side its due and then there's the general situation where you wind up with both sides not caring about specifics, just thinking lawyers know too much about the law, regardless -- you want jurors smart enough, but not too smart.  So it does generally feel like a waste of time to report, knowing we'll likely be dismissed even if we make it to a panel, but it's not a universal rule so it's not true we'll never be picked -- lawyers are indeed sometimes retained as jurors, it just depends on the combination of their practice area, the case, and the judgment of counsel. 

I've been called several times and did serve on a jury in CA a long time ago. Turned out one of the witnesses was my Chiropractor and Reiki leader. That was interesting. Just a fender bender hit and run where one claimed serious back injuries with little to no proof. 

I wonder now so many years later and in a different state if I would be chosen since my DD is Chief of Police in a major Nor Cal city.  I was called here in MT once but the trial was cancelled. 

It is interesting @Bastet, I thought lawyers were just automatically discharged. (DD is also a non-practicing, at this time, member of the CA bar. She is probably an auto discharge...)

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On 9/1/2023 at 8:22 PM, Annber03 said:

My mom and I were just watching that show earlier :D. 

"Frasier" is always a go-to for me as well. It's just so relaxing - I don't care how many times I've seen those episodes, that show still makes me laugh every single time. Definitely a good comfort series. 

For a more current example, the U.S. version of "Ghosts" is another good comfort show for me :). 

I have been looking for a reason to start Ghosts and there it is. I didn’t realize it is a remake or whstever it would be called. 
 

My go to no matter what, avoiding news, chores, weather, whatever, is The Office. I don’t analyze it, nitpick it, wish for character development or growth, I just catch the opening sketch and then hear that music and I am transported away to office land.

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32 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

I have been looking for a reason to start Ghosts and there it is. I didn’t realize it is a remake or whstever it would be called. 


=My go to no matter what, avoiding news, chores, weather, whatever, is The Office. I don’t analyze it, nitpick it, wish for character development or growth, I just catch the opening sketch and then hear that music and I am transported away to office land.

"The Office"! Also a remake :D. But yeah, that's a good show, too.

I didn't know the U.S. version of "Ghosts" was a remake at first, either - it wasn't until after I started watching that one that I realized it was a remake of a British series. I've yet to see the British version, but CBS will start airing episodes of that one later this fall, so good opportunity to check it out :). 

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2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

My trial advocacy professor said he'd served on a jury, much to his surprise.  Both sides thought the other side would use one of its limited peremptory (no-cause) challenges to strike him, but it turned out neither one did, so onto the jury he went.

Just like in the 1993 episode!

On 9/1/2023 at 7:44 AM, shapeshifter said:

S7.E7 of Matlock, "The Juror," which is kind of a take on 12 Angry Men, in which Ben Matlock does indeed hijack the jury deliberations, but he does it wearing his calm persona, not his angry persona.

And now speaking again of ma'am and sir, Matlock ends sentences with them so sweetly that it totally disarms the "mam" or the "sir" to whom he is speaking, and completely hides his deep down contempt for the person when he knows they are a "cold blooded killer."🙃
I f'love when he does that, but I don't know that it would have that effect in the North.

Similarly, on the 6.4 "Layover" episode of The Closer, one of the drug-smuggling flight attendants — who is self-described as a Southerner and has an accent at least as Southern as Brenda's — unwittingly explains to police Chief Brenda's detectives:

  • believe me, being from the South I know her type.
    Like when she says thank you...
    what she's saying is:
    "you know where you can stick that."

 

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3 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

It is interesting @Bastet, I thought lawyers were just automatically discharged. (DD is also a non-practicing, at this time, member of the CA bar. She is probably an auto discharge...)

Not automatically discharged, just usually discharged, so since it's usually not always we have to show up when summoned and go through voir dire if put on a panel that first day.  We're almost always sent home, but sometimes circumstances align so that a lawyer serves as a juror on a case unrelated to their practice area.

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3 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

My peacock subscription expired. I was going to renew it. $60 a year! I paid $20. I’m not paying $60. 

Mine is going to expire soon too. 
The reminder I put on my calendar says:

Quote

Signed up for 1 yr Peacock at $19.99 on Sept 21, 2022.
Cancel by 1 yr later or else at least $49.99
Note: Black Friday (Nov. 2022) 99¢/mo. for 12mo. = $11.88

 

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