Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[theredhead77]

23 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

The nearest Baskin-Robbins is like two hours away. Otherwise I'd be on a Jamoca Almond Fudge IV drip. Sometimes life protects us from our own worst impulses.

Does your local grocery store sell Baskin Robbins in their ice cream section? 

[EtheltoTillie]

Just now, theredhead77 said:

Does your local grocery store sell Baskin Robbins in their ice cream section? 

No, we get it at Dunkin Donuts.  They have the combo shops.

[SoMuchTV]

27 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

How do you do an umlaut?  I've been leaving it out while knowing it should be there.  I probably could seek it out in symbols, but I'm too lazy. 

 

23 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

You hold down the Control key and hit 0228 on the numeric keypad at the same time. Or you could use the Character Map, but that's a lot slower.

I have a few of the codes memorized, like é, because I use them so often, but others I just guess at till I get them right.

Or copy and paste from someplace that already has it 🙂

[Mondrianyone]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

Does your local grocery store sell Baskin Robbins in their ice cream section? 

It doesn't.

1 hour ago, EtheltoTillie said:

No, we get it at Dunkin Donuts.  They have the combo shops.

We used to have a combo shop, but they did away with the B-R half. The universe hates me.

[annzeepark914]

1 hour ago, Mondrianyone said:

We used to have a combo shop, but they did away with the B-R half. The universe hates me.

We need to introduce you to that football player whose (I think legal)  name is He Hate Me. Whatever happened to that guy?

[PRgal]

Ahhhh…ice cream.  I’m lucky to live in a neighbourhood with tons of local joints, including places really unique flavours.  One spot offers South Asian and other internationally inspired (especially Asian) flavours on a rotating basis.  Current ones include mango lassi (which I think is permanent) and Vietnamese coffee.  Last year, there was a pop-up that had Hong Kong milk tea.  There are two other places which are technically gelaterias (not including the Asian inspired place).  I don’t need BR in my neighborhood! 

[athousandclowns]

I have a Baskin Ribbons a block away and got a Sunday once was shocked at the price. I just went online to see prices and it’s really difficult to navigate. Sight only  show cakes, pies and ready  made up quarts.  My Safeway  (3 blocks away) has Baskin Ribbons  and I just checked prices and it’s about half the price of my year long addiction Cherry Garcia.  I’m doing non dairy for 3 months and it’s pretty good. 

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

Ahhhh…ice cream.  I’m lucky to live in a neighbourhood with tons of local joints, including places really unique flavours.  One spot offers South Asian and other internationally inspired (especially Asian) flavours on a rotating basis.  Current ones include mango lassi (which I think is permanent) and Vietnamese coffee.  Last year, there was a pop-up that had Hong Kong milk tea.  There are two other places which are technically gelaterias (not including the Asian inspired place).  I don’t need BR in my neighborhood! 

I enjoy Baskin Robbins, but I don't think I'd miss it if I lived in your neighborhood either. I don't know if I'd say you're lucky or if I'm better off without all that delicious temptation nearby. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

11 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

We need to introduce you to that football player whose (I think legal)  name is He Hate Me. Whatever happened to that guy?

It isn't his legal name.

he-hate-me-rod-smart-nickname-origin

[peacheslatour]

16 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

 

I'm in your club!  Haagen Dazs coffee is my favorite.  Coffee ice cream has always been my favorite flavor.  We used to buy Schrafft's when I was a kid, but since Haagen Dazs came on the market in the early 70s, I have never looked back. What brands do you prefer? 

I get this at my local Kroger/QFC. I've had Häagen-Dazs but I think Private Selection has more coffee flavor.

 

[annzeepark914]

1 hour ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

It isn't his legal name.

he-hate-me-rod-smart-nickname-origin

Ah...it's his *nickname* 🤔 I'd read a while back that he made it legal (maybe that was just wishful thinking by the writer of the article).  I love the name, though!

[nokat]

So I'm mostly settled in to my new place, and moving across the country has been quite the adventure. But things went relatively smoothly. It's more rural than I'm used to, but a grocery store is a mile away, so I can walk if needed. I test walked once in the morning before the heat hit. It's been so hot and humid. 

So, all the usual things that need doing when you move I have to do without a car.  I need new shoes for walking. Any recommendations for walking shoes with good cushioning that go up to a size 10? My current ones are Adidas, and they aren't bad.

[Quof]

Vionics

[EtheltoTillie]

I just got Kizik shoes from Amazon. Slip on sneakers. 

[theredhead77]

1 hour ago, nokat said:

I need new shoes for walking. Any recommendations for walking shoes with good cushioning that go up to a size 10? My current ones are Adidas, and they aren't bad.

I rotate my primary walking shoes between Allbirds Dashers, Asics, and On Cloud. 

[Browncoat]

I love my Vessi shoes.  I walked all over Edinburgh (and other parts of Scotland!) and Oslo in them.  Bonus points for being waterproof.

[BlueSkies]

I think anyone that deals with the general public at work should probably be making three times the amount they do for all the bullshit they must put up with

[Kitty Redstone]

@nokat Congrats on the smooth move! Under Amour shoes are the most comfortable I've found for walking and even moderate (but non-muddy) hiking trails.

[theredhead77]

4 hours ago, Browncoat said:

I love my Vessi shoes.  I walked all over Edinburgh (and other parts of Scotland!) and Oslo in them.  Bonus points for being waterproof.

Ooo! I've been eyeballing Vessi. They're high on my list for the fall / winter.

[Leeds]

On 7/9/2023 at 7:30 PM, annzeepark914 said:

We need to introduce you to that football player whose (I think legal)  name is He Hate Me. Whatever happened to that guy?

Murdered?  😄

[nokat]

15 minutes ago, Leeds said:

Murdered?  😄

I snort laughed and then thought I shouldn't laugh.

[Leeds]

1 hour ago, nokat said:

I snort laughed and then thought I shouldn't laugh.

Pretty much the desired reaction, so thanks!

[Browncoat]

7 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Ooo! I've been eyeballing Vessi. They're high on my list for the fall / winter.

I have the Cityscapes and the Everyday Move, and I love them both.  I’d get another pair of Cityscapes if they came in a color.

[nokat]

2 hours ago, Browncoat said:

I have the Cityscapes and the Everyday Move, and I love them both.  I’d get another pair of Cityscapes if they came in a color.

For those of us in the U.S. they are available.  I'm worried they aren't for walking miles of pavements.

[nokat]

@Quof I found loafers I like. Thanks for the reference to Vionics.

[Quof]

I've worn Vionic sandals on vacations in Europe, walking on cobblestone streets is the ultimate test. And they're not hideous "tacky tourist walking sandals". 

[Browncoat]

2 hours ago, nokat said:

For those of us in the U.S. they are available.  I'm worried they aren't for walking miles of pavements.

I walked roughly 7-8 miles each day I was in Edinburgh (three days) -- from dirt paths, to cobblestones, to concrete sidewalks -- plus gravel paths and sandy beaches in other places in Scotland.  They were still comfortable at the end of the day. 

For hotter climates, though, I'd recommend Keen sandals (Newports).  I walked miles and miles in mine in Costa Rica and Panama -- on trails and in cities. 

[JTMacc99]

54 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

For hotter climates, though, I'd recommend Keen sandals (Newports).  I walked miles and miles in mine in Costa Rica and Panama -- on trails and in cities. 

Keen is my go to brand for hiking shoes and/or boots. They're really well made, and they have a wide range of stuff from sandals all the way through snow boots like these:

[Cloud9Shopper]

How do you deal with being hurt when you’re not invited to a wedding? A woman I’ve sang in church choir with before did not invite me to her wedding in two weeks but she invited my mom and stepdad (mom is in the choir but stepdad isn’t and was invited since they are married), and I know most of the other choir members are invited, and I’m sure plenty of other people in the church are as this girl’s grandmother is a longtime church member.

The reason why I’m hurt is because most of the choir will be there and I wanted to be included for that reason. They will be having a good time together, posting pictures and getting closer/making memories as friends and I will be left out. I also thought I was valued enough to be a part of the guest list, especially since my mom is and it’s not like she is super close to the bride other than being in the choir with her. 

A different friend did not invite me to her wedding last year, even after talking about it with me in person, and I pretty much stopped talking to her altogether. My feeling is that if you don’t want to invite me to the wedding and you think that little of me, then obviously you don’t need my friendship. This year is different, though, especially because churches can be rife with gossips and cliques so I have to keep my head down here. At the same time I am tempted to never return to the church over this even though I get along fine with other people there. 

What do I do? Being excluded just hurts. 

[Caoimhe]

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Being excluded just hurts. 

Yes it does, and I’ve never learned how to stop feeling hurt. After being excluded from a family event recently I’ve been reading lots of “Zen” stuff about how it’s my ego that is suffering and not my inner self. That only helps so much when you are confronted with all the photos of and conversations about the event. I’m so sorry you’re being excluded when your mother and so many others have been invited.

[peacheslatour]

Quote

What do I do? Being excluded just hurts. 

Do you know the bride well enough to ask her why she did this? It's such a shitty thing to do.

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Do you know the bride well enough to ask her why she did this? It's such a shitty thing to do.

Agree. If it's the wedding of someone I'm not that close with, I probably wouldn't bring it up even if I thought the polite thing to do would be to invite me if it were an "everyone and their mother is invited but me" situation. It would hurt my feelings too, but if the person didn't mean much to me, I'd just figure I know where I stand with that person. Now if it's someone I'm good friends with, I'd want some answers.  What the heck happened, ya know? Maybe the invitation got lost? Maybe she thought you hated weddings?

It's sad some people are just shitty friends you're better off without. 

Edited July 12, 2023 by RealHousewife

[Browncoat]

Or maybe she had room for only 50 people, and some hard decisions had to be made.  Maybe she's known the other choir members longer.  There are any number of reasons that it might not be personal.  Yes, being excluded hurts -- I've had my fair share of being excluded (or being on the "we'll invite you to our wedding if enough of the first choice RSVP "no"), but it isn't always personal.

[Cloud9Shopper]

I don’t know that it’s such a big deal to me that I want to ask why I wasn’t invited. More like it hurts in a way because weddings are such a big deal and it’s not the same thing as not being invited to some night out to dinner on a Saturday. I have also never been anyone’s bridesmaid or maid of honor (when most women my age have probably gotten that title at least once) so it’s like I’m not “good enough” to be in many brides’ inner circle unless they’re my family. (And even then my older sister didn’t have a bridal party so she could avoid situations like this where people’s feelings get hurt.) I guess being invited would have made me feel included and like the bride liked me enough to want me at her day, and like I was a part of the church choir. I don’t particularly hate weddings either although I’m not the biggest fan of some of the trends that have taken over them. 

This was also the same bride who I posted about in the pet peeves thread who posted a Venmo link to buy her drinks at her bachelorette weekend. I told my mom that upset me, like I wasn’t good enough for the guest list but I was “invited” to give the bride drinking money. My mom admitted she didn’t see the post but she said even if she had, she wouldn’t have put money in the Venmo either. 

[Mindthinkr]

@Cloud9Shopper I think you need to find something special for yourself to do the day of the wedding. Perhaps one night at a BnB, or perhaps a spa treat. Do you have a friend not too far away that you can go and visit? 
    Like you I’d have trouble not taking this personally, but Browncoat is right. There may be something going on that you have no clue about. You are a special person deserving of good things. 

[nokat]

1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I don’t know that it’s such a big deal to me that I want to ask why I wasn’t invited. More like it hurts in a way because weddings are such a big deal

I understand that you feel left out.  Please don't take it personally.  If you are invited just for a gift I would rethink the friendship.

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I have also never been anyone’s bridesmaid or maid of honor

Lucky you; it's a pain in the ass, even with a relatively low-key wedding and someone who is as far from a Bridezilla as one can get.

3 hours ago, Browncoat said:

Or maybe she had room for only 50 people, and some hard decisions had to be made.  Maybe she's known the other choir members longer.  There are any number of reasons that it might not be personal.

This is my reaction, too.  You don't sound close, such that a wedding invitation would be considered a given, so it seems the issue is you think she's inviting people she's not any closer to than she is to you, specifically other members of the choir.  But, other than your mom, you don't really know the relationship she has with those people.

3 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

This was also the same bride who I posted about in the pet peeves thread who posted a Venmo link to buy her drinks at her bachelorette weekend.

That is so tacky!  Probably everyone who was there was going to cover her drinks anyway, but to ask for it up front, including from people who weren't even invited, is mind boggling.

(I was lucky that the one time I had to be in a wedding, there was no shower or bachelorette party; in fact, the bride treated her sister [bridesmaid] and I [maid of honor] to a spa day - massage, facial, and mani/pedi - the day of the rehearsal dinner to thank us for participating.)

I was going to say maybe she knows you've been struggling financially lately, and didn't want you to feel like you had to come and bring a gift, but obviously she's not that thoughtful.

Edited July 13, 2023 by Bastet

[partofme]

1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

 I have also never been anyone’s bridesmaid or maid of honor (when most women my age have probably gotten that title at least once) so it’s like I’m not “good enough” to be in many brides’ inner circle unless they’re my family. 

I’ve never been this either.  Try to focus on al the money we’ve saved on bridesmaid dresses and such.  
 

It sucks that you’re not invited to this wedding when most of you choir seems to be but like others have said, you can’t know the bride’s reasoning, and maybe some of those who are invited wish they weren’t. 

[emma675]

1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I don’t know that it’s such a big deal to me that I want to ask why I wasn’t invited. More like it hurts in a way because weddings are such a big deal and it’s not the same thing as not being invited to some night out to dinner on a Saturday. 

It bothers you enough to realize it and post about it, so I would just ask the bride why you weren't invited. Maybe your invitation got lost in the mail, maybe not, but it never hurts to ask. And if it makes the bride uncomfortable that you asked, that's her problem.

[kristen111]

Opinions please.  One college graduation, one high school graduation.  Both my Grandchildren.  Do they get the same amount of cash?  My Son said College merits more money than high school.  

[Mindthinkr]

1 minute ago, kristen111 said:

Opinions please.  One college graduation, one high school graduation.  Both my Grandchildren.  Do they get the same amount of cash?  My Son said College merits more money than high school.  

To them graduation is graduation. I always (even for a sweet sixteen or 18th and now 21st) have given my grandkids the same amount of money. They compare and it keeps them from fighting. 

[oliviabenson]

12 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Opinions please.  One college graduation, one high school graduation.  Both my Grandchildren.  Do they get the same amount of cash?  My Son said College merits more money than high school.  

I’d give them the same amount of $. They should be happy they are getting any $ at all as a gift.

[kristen111]

4 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

To them graduation is graduation. I always (even for a sweet sixteen or 18th and now 21st) have given my grandkids the same amount of money. They compare and it keeps them from fighting. 

I feel the same way.  The three are in the same family.  I’ll give the two graduates the same.  For my Grandaughter’s Sweet Sixteen, I bought her a gold heart on a chain.  I did the same for the College graduate for her Sweet Sixteen.  Thanks.

[Bastet]

17 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Opinions please.  One college graduation, one high school graduation.  Both my Grandchildren.  Do they get the same amount of cash?  My Son said College merits more money than high school.  

I'd give more money for college than high school, definitely; it's a bigger accomplishment.  If the HS grandkid later graduates from college, they'd get a bigger check from me then so it would be even.

[kristen111]

7 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I’d give them the same amount of $. They should be happy they are getting any $ at all as a gift.

Yes.   Kids love money.  Who doesn’t?  Thanks Olivia.

[kristen111]

3 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I'd give more money for college than high school, definitely; it's a bigger accomplishment.  If the HS grandkid later graduates from college, they'd get a bigger check from me then so it would be even.

That is exactly what my Son said.  College is more of an accomplishment.  The three are great kids.  All have jobs after school and weekends.  Thanks for your opinion.

[oliviabenson]

I need to do laundry more often. Ran out of black pants and of course I got my period. Having bloody pants is so embarrassing!

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

That is exactly what my Son said.  College is more of an accomplishment.

Yes, graduations are different than birthdays, where it would make sense to give the same regardless of age.  All one has to do to have a birthday is not croak.  Graduating something is an achievement, and the more work that required to accomplish the greater congratulatory award I give.  (And that's how it worked for me, too; I don't remember numbers all this time later, but I know I got more for graduating college than for high school, and more for law school than for college.)

[nokat]

6 hours ago, Bastet said:

All one has to do to have a birthday is not croak.

I laughed too hard at this. I agree about things that are accomplishments being celebrated. For my high school graduation I got luggage. Not a subtle hint to get the hell out. Off to college. Birthdays I think are for the young, or if you reach 100. If you pass the card around at the office I'll sign it, but to me it's not a big deal.

[ginger90]

16 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

This was also the same bride who I posted about in the pet peeves thread who posted a Venmo link to buy her drinks at her bachelorette weekend.

Based on that post, I’m kind of surprised at the reaction to not being invited. Feelings can be quite baffling sometimes.