S01.E05: Episode 5

[Tara Ariano]

No episode description, but: more of the usual, I'd imagine.

[Roaster]

Last episode ended with the hint that Graham might turn down a rose.

 

Here's what I don't understand.  If you are trying to "win", either by staying on the show to the end or finding a romatic partner, why would you EVER reject a rose at the Rose Ceremony? Even if you hate the person offerring you the rose, at least you get to stay another round and try to find someone else.

 

You should NEVER reject a rose if you are playing rationally.  Maybe they're all too drunk to understand this.

[Armchair Critic]

Ladies and Gentlemen, let the (mind) games begin... 

 

Graham is scared, man up dude if you are going to date Bachelor rejects.

 

DAMN, I was hoping the ambulance was the men in white coats coming to take AshLee away.

 

LOL at Kalon speaking for us viewers "Everybody loves a good train wreck".

Edited August 27, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[CindyBee]

I don't understand Graham at all.  I guess the promised paycheck from Fleiss was just too much to pass up.   

[leighdear]

Marcus is terrified for Lacy? They're in Mexico at a resort for craps sake, not embedded with a sniper unit in Afghanistan....  He really needs to dial it back a bit...*LOL*

 

Aww....no goodbye hugs for Kalon.   Marquel got back exactly what he put out.  Call it a draw with Jackie.

Edited August 27, 2014 by leighdear

[Armchair Critic]

I don't remember this Christy. Oh boy, Clare is going to go off...

[FlyingEgret]

Marcus is terrified for Lacy? They're in Mexico at a resort for craps sake, not embedded with a sniper unit in Afghanistan....  He really needs to dial it back a bit...*LOL*

Yes - terrified that "the worst could happen" - which in their world means the cameras aren't allowed in the ambulance

[Pixiebomb]

Borrrr-ing! It was Lacey in the ambulance???? I hate you editing monkeys!

[Armchair Critic]

I'm happy for Sarah and Robert, but she comes off a bit simple minded

[Roaster]

Robert played hard-to-get and it worked.  Sarah was going crazy.

 

Is white nail polish the fashionable color now?  I've seen at least two of the girls with white polish.

[Armchair Critic]

Oh dear, I need a Scotch and Soda waiting for Zack to dump Clare and her to go crazy....

 

That raccoon better be compensated for being a therapist.

 

Clare, I don't think you were even considered for Dancing With The Stars. You know Zack is relieved but putting on a sad face.

Edited August 27, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[bosawks]

It's really difficult trying to ascertain if Clair is crazier than Zack is dumb.

[wovenloaf]

"I think getting into a serious and exclusive relationship with someone I've been hanging out with for a week might be too fast for me" is the most reasonable thing anyone has said on this show yet. But, it's BiP, so of course such a comment results only in crisis!

[aenea]

So many eggs floating around.  Eggs all in one basket, eggs all in, egg-laying turtles as a sign from the beyond. 

 

The accommodation is obviously very low budget, but do they not feed these people?

[Stella MD]

Man, Zach is an inarticulate dufus. Why was he just following Claire around, saying nothing? I mean, either try to talk her out of leaving, or just go away. Freak. 

[leighdear]

Interesting how Zack said Christy was on his "list" from the beginning.  Evidentially each player gets to make a list of folks from the franchise they hope to meet, and begin their incestuous relationships with. 

[Roaster]

Love Cody speculating about Lucy's bra and panties.

Jesse really getting a lot of dates......

 

I think  I'd take Lucy over Christy if I were him.

[Armchair Critic]

Christy seems dim, but Lucy seems like the fake "always on" type.

[aenea]

The thing that I enjoy about Lucy is that she doesn't take it too seriously.  She doesn't need the money, she doesn't need the fame- she's just there for giggles.  It's a refreshing change from all of these people who think that finding a partner on reality tv is a useful way to approach life.  

 

If you haven't seen her video about Juan Pablo, it's pretty funny. 

[Armchair Critic]

If Kody was better looking would Michelle be more into it?

[KR Vermont]

So Lacy is spirited away by ambulance to a Mexican hospital because she's vomited so much due to her hatred of AshLee? And Marcus is terrified for her, that the worst could happen? Which is what, that she'd have to fly home and the free vacay would be over?

Is part of Clare's despair that AshLee remains partnered up despite her shenanigans? Graham seems to prove a theory that men will put up with a lot of crazy if they think a woman is hot.

The script and acting of this show is so unbelievably crap, yet I'm still watching. haha

Lucy is a breath of fresh air, though. :)

Edited August 27, 2014 by KR Vermont

[FlyingEgret]

Christy seems dim, but Lucy seems like the fake "always on" type.

Or the "always off" type

Edited August 27, 2014 by FlyingEgret

[Armchair Critic]

I am bummed Clare left and that they keep bringing in new people I don't care about.

[leighdear]

I don't see anything "spontaneous" about Lucy & her shenanigans.  I think the hippy, dippy, free-love, bohemian act is calculated to get attention.  She may not need money or fame, but she obviously really enjoys trying to shock people.  Nothing about her actions, including the nudity and climbing into a strange bed, seem real or natural me.  It comes off as forced.

[reggiejax]

Thank god Jesse picked Christy. I cannot stand Lucy. That girl irritates me to no end. Another week of that smelly, naked, hippie idiot would have been too much. 

[Armchair Critic]

If Sarah tries to go for somebody else next week I am going to reach into my tv and slap her. She is lucky she found somebody decent out of this bunch as it is.

[Pixiebomb]

Does Sarah hate kissing Robert or is she just a really bad kisser? She pulls away the second her lips touch his. Come on girl - melt a little! Your never going to get a guy with those jerky little pecks/kisses!

[Armchair Critic]

I wouldn't doubt that she is a virgin (not that there's anything wrong with that, just rare for this franchise)

[aenea]

I don't see anything "spontaneous" about Lucy & her shenanigans.  I think the hippy, dippy, free-love, bohemian act is calculated to get attention.  

Of course it is, but you don't get people who are averse to attention going on a reality show to find 'love'.  I assume that she's a producer plant the same way that some other people are- she just doesn't even pretend to take it seriously, which I find refreshing.  Given the choice between Marcus "I'm so in love with Andi and so incredibly devastated by her rejection, but oh, look, now I'm in love with Lacy (4 weeks later)", Michelle "I have a connection with Marquel, no, make that Robert, no, it's Cody" etc., I can't see Lucy as any sillier than Chris B. or Kalon or Jesse or the raccoon.  

[TiredMe]

Thank goodness only one episode of Lucy. I find her completely disingenuous. What a show she is putting in. Talk about a try hard. Then that crap about poor little Christy....please girl, you'd have been all up in his shit again if he'd have had her. And he looks like a walking STD.

I enjoyed Lacy ITM immensely this episode. Calling Ashlee disgusting? Classic.

Poor Claire. He just wasn't that into her so it is best she left. A bit delusional about Dancing with the Stars however.

Edited August 27, 2014 by TiredMe

[Dittohead]

It's kind of a shame Kalon left right before he could have met Lucy.  The two of them would have been a perfect combo.  Sex-obsessed male meets female alley cat in heat.  "Free spirit," my foot.  Not too long ago she would have been called a much nastier word.

[Rainsong]

Slam Marcus for pouring it on heavy and thick if you wish but he will soon gaze upon the full glory of the Treasure Of The Sierra Madre.

[Armchair Critic]

Speaking of a bid to get air time, Marcus is constantly talking to Lacey and she knows how he feels. The speech at the rose ceremony was unnecessary.

[KR Vermont]

Thank god Jesse picked Christy. I cannot stand Lucy. That girl irritates me to no end.

I didn't watch any of Juan Pablo's season, so I have no prior knowledge of any of these women on BiP from his season. I liked that Lucy wasn't another cookie-cutter girl coming in, and made some waves before leaving, but baring your assets from the get-go isn't usually the best idea. Gotta retain a little mystery, no?

Did Christy and Zack talk to each other at all after Clare left, considering how high they were on each other's list of people to meet in Paradise...? 

[TheFinalRose]

Speaking of a bid to get air time, Marcus is constantly talking to Lacey and she knows how he feels. The speech at the rose ceremony was unnecessary.

 

 

I bet the producers made him say that stuff to her because the rest of the show was super sleazy with Christy and Jessie and "what's her nuts."  But the cuts to the head scratchers during their kiss was hilarious.

 

Can I say how disappointed I was that it was Clare that ran off into the woods, and not AshLee having a freak out? And I was also really disappointed that it was Lacy in the ambulance too, with just your typical traveler's stomach.  Zack seemed really relieved that Claire left so he could get with Jackie. Anyway, with Claire gone I hope that does not mean the end of the racoon's appearances. 

 

 

[Ketzel]

Speaking of a bid to get air time, Marcus is constantly talking to Lacey and she knows how he feels. The speech at the rose ceremony was unnecessary.

I know, right? (TM Emily) Halfway through, I said out loud, "Enough with the vows. Shut up and let us get to the interesting roses, you idiot. Are you under the mistaken impression that this is your wedding? "

[Shugardrawers]

Much as he skeeves me out and I have to laugh at all these girls saying he's so "genuine" I do have to give Jesse props for his one and only genuine moment:  Telling Lucy he's already seen her TP&A so basically "let's go pork ya little ho".  And she being fine with that.

(Mr. Drawers just asked me what TP&A was.  For the uninitiated it's tits pussy and ass.  I was hoping to avoid being quite that blunt but if HE didn't know ya'll probably wouldn't.)

Edited August 27, 2014 by Shugardrawers

[Madding crowd]

I think Lucy is disgusting and not attractive at all. And as much as she says she is a free spirit, like every other free spirit before her, she really wants some guy to pick her and goes about it the wrong way. Prancing around naked, grabbing Jesse's junk and crawling in bed with a couple is just desperation. A real free spirit would seek out experiences and relationships in a more natural way.

Sad to see Clare leave, she was my favorite of the girls. I wonder if something more was said or done because it looked like she was pretty upset. Don't think I will be a fan of Christy either; she is another one trying too hard and looking desperate. And then their is Aunt Michelle (as someone else said); she is in everyone's business, gets more than half of all TH's and now we are supposed to think she cares about Cody moving too fast? I also don't want to hear about her daughter since she continues to leave her for weeks at a time, so mother of the year she isn't.

Sarah and Lacey seem a little dim to me and AshLee is well, Ashlee. I don't understand if Graham really cares about her, or if he is getting something out of this experience, it is weird. Robert and Cody seem like nice guys (although I don't think Robert really cares about Sara), Zac and Jesse seem like dirt balls.

 

I kind of wish Kalon had stayed on. I think he is 100%producer made up, so I wonder what he is really like. He is too shiny and sweaty for my tastes though.So what happens at the end of this thing? No one wins anything? Seems like it will be an odd way to end.

[Andromeda]

So the big ambulance moment is a case of Montezuma's Revenge? Seriously, show? 

 

My husband -- and, to a lesser extent, my son -- both got cases during a trip to Puerto Vallarta a few years back. My husband was miserable for an entire day. Needless to say, we're sticking to Hawaii now. We were being VERY careful, but there's only so much you can do when the very ice in your drink or someone not washing their hands is a factor. Despite production being careful and hand-feeding the hamsters, something got by them. Isn't this like a day after their date? Watch out for the street food, people...

[Beebee111]

Poor Clare. She had totally established a better image with the first few episodes. God knows, I saw her differently. BUT, TPTB are so cruel. Why oh why, does she get so intense so quickly? If she had played it a little cooler, she and Zack may have had a chance (oh not). From one intense person to another, she needs someone who will match or can handle her beautiful intensity and emotion. It's not 'wrong' to be emotional - it just needs to happen in a safe space - and reality tv is not a safe space. Really, I find those scenes uncomfortable to watch.

 

Additionally, most girls learn usually in their twenties that when a guy is stumbling and being unclear when you are having one of "those" conversations, "he's just not that into you."  Dragging out the conversation only makes you loose dignity and feel even crappier. YMMV, but there's nothing wrong with crying privately (albeit briefly) over a lost cause relationship.

Edited August 27, 2014 by Beebee111

[Shelby]

Marcus is terrified for Lacy? They're in Mexico at a resort for craps sake, not embedded with a sniper unit in Afghanistan.... He really needs to dial it back a bit...*LOL*

That made me laugh so hard, Leigh!

[Shugardrawers]

Was anyone else thinking miscarriage rather than a case of the tourist trots?

[Roaster]

Do you all really like Christy, though?  Too soon to say, I guess, but she is not good looking by this show's standards.  She's probably the youngest one currently in the house, but she has little shape to her body and her hair looks fake.  Claire, AshLee, Michelle - all over 30 and all better looking than Christy, imho.  There's more to a person than appearance of course, but this a superficial show so that's got to count for something.

[ramble]

Cody may not be the prettiest egg in the basket but his shell is smoking rock hard. I'd be tempted to crack it.

Jesse is a Chris B clone, but I enjoy Chris more, at least on BP, he wasn't on BIP long enough to get the good stuff. His taking heads were often a little funnier. Evil sand tripping him like that & taking the drama away.

Lacy amused me this episode with her couple descriptions & Ashlee disgust. I like her more than I anticipated.

I still think the most real relationship in paradise is MoneyBunn. I think they honestly do care about each other. I agree that it was freakish to see Ashlee stand still clutching her rose while Graham was close to passing out. Marcus, for all of his heavy earnestness, at least went after Lacy when she headed to puke town.

Edited August 27, 2014 by ramble

[Beebee111]

Just had to say that Jesse is a TOTAL douche. I can't believe anyone would buy what he is selling. He must be such a dead person  inside. YUCK!

[ramble]

Stupid phone duplicate post so I'll add: I love the raccoon & his impressive listening skills!

Edited August 27, 2014 by ramble

[KR Vermont]

iirc from Andi's lie detector group date in Italy, Marcus (age 25) has been with 20+ women...how many bolted from his coming on strong so soon with the I love you's? What's the rush? He and Lacy are so icky sweet. Cody's laying it on thick with Michelle too. The wedding attire and photos seemed a bit ridiculous for a first date, yet again show. Funny that Cody was more into it, then Michelle came around with a f*ck it attitude and had fun with it--they are humorously playful together, also at the end when she lost the game and had to kiss Marcus' left nipple. haha. Poor Michelle goes from having "no connection with anyone" to having someone all over her...what's a girl to do? Great massages, painting your toe nails--how long will it last?

[Teddybear]

Did Lucy think she was on "Dating Naked" instead?  

[MarkHB]

Clare should have gone on Cody's date... they'd be perfect together.  And Jesse and Lucy should've made a pact to just keep giving each other roses and otherwise have an open relationship (i.e., stirring the pot).  I'm pretty sure that that's exactly what she was thinking when she told him she thought they were on the same page (flipping the phrase around from the way everyone else has used it).

 

Does anyone else think we'll be seeing people drinking tequila shooters out of Christy's belly button before this thing's over?  I think that girl was shitfaced in every TH she did.  (What's ITM stand for, incidentally?)

[chocolatine]

Do you all really like Christy, though?  Too soon to say, I guess, but she is not good looking by this show's standards.  She's probably the youngest one currently in the house, but she has little shape to her body and her hair looks fake.  Claire, AshLee, Michelle - all over 30 and all better looking than Christy, imho.  There's more to a person than appearance of course, but this a superficial show so that's got to count for something.

 

 

To me, Christy is like a skinny Anna Nicole Smith. Takes a gorgeous picture, but in person is completely vacant/out of it. I hope Christy doesn't suffer the same tragic fate as Anna Nicole. 

 

Lucy and Jesse together was an explosion of grossness. I needed to wipe down my TV after this episode. Jesse gets more disgusting every time he shows up on a Bachelor franchise show. It's interesting that in the preview we saw Lucy taking off her shorts and/or underwear on the night vision footage, but not in this episode. Maybe it was too risqué to make it past the censors?

 

I call BS on Lacy needing an ambulance. She ran for quite a while to find a bathroom - most people who are about to throw up can't hold it for that long. And even if she was sick, resting and drinking fluids would have done the trick. TPTB probably arranged the ambulance because that was the only drama they were going to get out of Lacy and Marcus, and they could tease the hell out of it in the previews.

 

Clare, Clare, Clare. I don't relate to her at all, but I had some sympathy up to the very end, when she said she should have been on DWTS. Right reasons all the way.

 

Finally, I'd like to talk about wardrobe. Lacy, while pretend-puking, had her rose ceremony dress open in the back, with the attached tag clearly visible. I wonder if the dress was furnished by production and they were planning to return it, or whether it was Lacy's, and she was planning to return it. Either way, gross. And Michelle walking around in the bridal gown fastened in the back by four giant black clothespins. If it's too much to ask that TPTB take her measurements and find a dress that fits, how about at least providing white clothespins with the white dress?!