S01.E08: Conflict & Resolution

[Tara Ariano]

Cortney confronts Jason; Monet undergoes surgery; and Doug lies to Jamie.

[Bandolero]

Doug: Whoa! Oh my goodness. My opinion of him has plummeted. I have suspected all along that he was playing a "lovesick puppy" role and that we were not seeing the real person. To lie about smoking and then try to cover it up by swearing on your mother instead of simply fessing up. Honestly... that would be it for me. Shows a huge lack of character not to mention immaturity. Why do people hide who they are? I have been there and it is horrible to slowly find out bit by bit who somebody really is because of all the lies and subterfuge. Jamie is so right... it starts with the one lie then another and another. Run for the hills Jamie.... RUN.

Personally I don't think she was overreacting (that much) and really did not care for the doctor downplaying it and putting the blame on her.  If Doug didn't want to give her a reason to leave... then he should have tried simple honesty. Not a good look for him at all.

 

I will say it again why would anyone appear on a show like this if they are so guarded. It just does not make any sense. Jason and that whole thing about his mother and respecting her... then why do this show? Ughhh.

 

It doesn't appear that Jason is ready for a wife... he barely seems ready for a girlfriend. He just has way too much going on. 

 

Vaughn has consistently indicated exactly the kind of wife he wants. Right or wrong it is what he wants, I wish the judges had paid attention (sigh). Monet should not have to pretend to be something that she is not. He wants a women who sort of makes him her world... and Monet is simply not the one.

Edited August 27, 2014 by Bandolero

[Primetimer]

And other important questions raised by the fresh horrors on this week's Married At First Sight.

Read the story

[PityFree]

Nothing will make that man child happy. Nothing.

Also, great write up. Bravo! Loved the quotes around "doctor" C's name.

Edited August 27, 2014 by PityFree

[Bubbacat]

Geez, Jamie! Okay. Doug smoked. He lied. He swore on his Mom. All bad. But he did NOT abuse you. And he did NOT kill anyone. Sure, a bit of annoyance -- even anger -- is possibly called for. And have a nice discussion. But chill out, honey! Yeah, I do think she was looking for an excuse -- ANY excuse. And Doug handed it to her on a silver platter. Bad move, Doug.

[Bandolero]

Actually I don't think he is "unpleasable" at all. I know men like Vaughn... they expect to be "the head" and like to be adulated and catered to. Vaughn has consistently indicated exactly what he wants in a spouse. The advice his mom gave Monet spoke wonders IMO... that is exactly what Vaughn wants... a women who makes him feel like a king.  He wants what his parents had and Monet is not one for the subservient role. I am not going to demonize him because this works for some couples but both people have to be on the same page. 

[Ohwell]

So this is the thread to post in for tonight's episode?  If so...

 

Cigarettegate:  I was waiting for Jamie to smack Doug on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. 

[eteffi]

Nothing will make that man child happy. Nothing.

Also, great write up. Bravo! Loved the quotes around "doctor" C's name.

 

Thanks!

[ketose]

That thing with Jamie and Doug is total bullshit. People are going to lie. This whole "one lie leads to another" thing is just an excuse to end up an old cat lady because the cats never lie to you. I imagine Doug had a lot of motivation to lie, especially after the trip to povertyville. He wanted to avoid the epic shit storm he was going to get from Jamie over smoking.

 

Still, Doug has lost that aura of perfect husband, something he needed to do days earlier. Now that Doug has proved himself to her a little, it's Jamie's turn to accept his flaws. It was bound to happen some time.

[BeatrixK]

I got the idea Jamie was looking for reasons to throw the wall up:  Quitting smoking is HARD...I mean...HARD.  I can only imagine three weeks of the stress of trying to make a marriage get off the ground....in front of cameras...with a woman who is stand offish on her best days....would cause one to slip.  He wasn't proud of it..he admitted his mistakes.  I felt like Jamie was way harder on him...it's not like he called an old girlfriend or something...he had a knee-jerk reaction to a habit that's insanely hard to quit that one is used to running to in times of extreme stress - I grow to like Doug more and more each week, and still not thinking Jamie deserves him.

 

Vaughan...I want his mother to have her own show doling out marital advice.  How did a woman that awesome not rub off on him.

 

I still think Jason and Courtney are far more mature about their approach to marriage than the older people.  Love those two kids.

[sleekandchic]

I think the true title of the episode came out in Monet' s confessional: when talking about Vaughn, she proclaimed, "You insensitive jackass...." Well yeah. Like a thousand times yeah.

I've said it before, and I haven't changed my mind: Vaughn mentally checked out on the honeymoon trip when he saw his wife in a swimsuit. She did not measure up to the supermodel body type that Vaughan thinks he deserves, in my opinion. The End. So even if she were a gourmet chef making him three meals a day, he'd find another excuse to hate on her. Btw, that "she doesn't want to cook for me"-bs and the "she doesn't compliment me enough"-crap are so very lame and embarrassing. That's the best Vaughn can come up with?

Doug is a serious amateur athlete so the cigarettes are surprising. Even more surprising was swearing to his lie on his mother's life! That did catch me up short. His sainted MOM!!? Ha. But I dislike Jamie here to such an extent that my sympathy meter just couldn't' engage fully. And she went on and on and on. Man. She was just dying for ANY excuse to extricate herself from the marriage, so she grabbed onto Doug's lie like my dog with a pull toy. . I feel that Jamie is as big a phony as Vaughn in her unique way. And using your alleged sad, deprived childhood to excuse and explain your reactions every single opportunity makes it seem not honest to me.

Cortney is kinda making me sad.. Based on what I see here, I think Cortney is absolutely sincere in her feelings for and expectations of Jason. But Jason looks to be having second thoughts about marriage itself. I don't understand why a guy with a dying mother and a crazy work schedule got involved in this wackadoodle experiment in the first place. Did they get a nice paycheck? But he is acting scared to death.

Of course, the previews and overall editing, not to mention FB and the twatting (yeah, that's right!), are confusing as hell to me so I am prepared for any and all ridiculous endings.

Edited August 27, 2014 by sleekandchic

[TheIronLady]

The unofficial name for this episode should be " Cigarettegate".....

Doug was probably smoking because he's frustrated because "he ain't gettin' none" and seeing her trailer park situation might have just pushed the poor man over the edge. He has already talked about having blue balls....He seems like he REALLY wants to please her and just did not handle the pressure of her catching him doing something he is ashamed of. Marriage is about finding someone with imperfections you can live with.

[Bandolero]

I get that quitting is hard... I get that. Blaming somebody's reaction for your lying is BS IMO. Man up and tell the truth about who you are. Period. If somebody lied to me about a deal breaker... I would be pretty pissed off too. I just cannot excuse that kind of behavior from a grown man. 

 

Also it's what he did after he was clearly caught... he lied some more and then swore on his mother! Just no.

Edited August 27, 2014 by Bandolero

[PityFree]

Jamie is inspiring me to wear more dangle earrings.

Vaughn is inspiring me to investigate becoming a lesbian. (Also, good lord is Vaughn the spitting image of his mom or what?)

I'd love to hear Doug's mom's reaction to him swearing on her life.

[absolutelyido]

I think Doug just panicked and lied when Jamie confronted him about smoking because he feels like he has to be perfect for her. To me, the most disheartening thing Doug said in the episode was when he said (paraphrasing) he wanted to be the perfect husband and the perfect lover** for her, and he wanted to top himself every day. My God, how exhausting!! Is there any room for him to be his own imperfect self in their relationship? I don't think he believes there is, and Jamie affirmed that by her reaction to his lie. I understand that when you're newly in love you want to do everything for the other person, but I feel like Doug thinks he has to be perfect for her not just that he wants to be.

 

**Are they even having sex yet?

Edited August 27, 2014 by absolutelyido

[crazychicken]

I have a soft spot for Doug, in the video extras I feel sad when he says that if we met normally I would choose Jamie but she would not choose me. So with that in mind I am giving Doug a slide on the lying. I do think he took it to far and should have owned up right away but he is so afraid that if he is not perfect Jamie will bolt.

Jamie has been judgemental for their whole relationship and has so many deal breakers I would be afraid to breathe wrong around her. I think Jamie needs to stop looking for romance and take some time to deal with her issues. If she stops being so judgemental then people will not be afraid of not being perfect around her.

[Ohwell]

I've said it before, and I haven't changed my mind: Vaughn mentally checked out on the honeymoon trip when he saw his wife in a swimsuit. She did not measure up to the supermodel body type that Vaughan thinks he deserves, in my opinion.

I think that Vaughn checked out before he saw his wife in a swimsuit.  I think he checked out on their wedding night when he saw...ummm...everything.  I don't necessarily think he's looking for a thin supermodel type.  However, I think that Monet is heavier below the waist--meaning the thighs--than he was looking for.  I just don't think he can get past that and so he's making up all kinds of excuses. 

[ketose]

**Are they even having sex yet?

A deleted tweet from Jamie makes me suspect they had sex at some point between when the show started filming and when it started airing.

[sleekandchic]

I wonder why the audience didn't get to see the moment when Doug got busted for smoking, then lied and swore on his mother's life? Instead, we got the rehash and backlash and one-on-ones with the camera..

I'm so suspicious of the machinations here, at first I thought Jamie might be fibbing when she complained that Doug swore on his mother. But, later, Doug was in the room when Jamie repeated the allegation. Still, I would have liked to see the blowup go down as it happened.

On a superficial note, I've read criticisms of Doug's hair but I never really paid attention. Tonight though, as he was hanging his head in shame, I did notice that crazy maze of combover he's attempting. Swept to the right, swooped the the left, layered in the center?! Wacky.

His desire to please Jamie is sad and scary and unrealistic to me. He's gotta get out of this mess. After this series, he won't have any trouble dating and getting serious with a better match.

Edited August 27, 2014 by sleekandchic

[ethalfrida]

 Cigarettegate, LMBO! 

However, I am so glad next week is the last one. The drama over the made up situations is so unnecessary. Nope, no one forces me to watch but since I am, still at this point, Team Vaughn I can't abandon him now. The other five on the show are annoying.

[ElleBee]

I guess lying is one of those YMMV situations but I agree that for me it would be a deal-breaker. Especially if someone looked me straight in the eyes and swore on their beloved mother's life. Not only is that really wrong but also weirdly immature. Like Jamie said, most people are past the "hand in the cookie jar, swear on my mom's life" phase 'round about the second grade. Doug needed to put on his big boy pants and admit he was stressed from the emotion-filled day and had a slip up. And if that alone was going to send Jamie over the edge, then better he find out sooner rather than later. 

 

I don't think Jamie had any business getting married without much more therapy and self-reflection, and she really kind of bugs me, but I reluctantly have to pitch a tent in her camp on this one.

Edited August 27, 2014 by ElleBee

[Armchair Critic]

Jamie bugs with her "I won't be married to somebody if they ....". Yes it's good to have standards, but since she is on her 3rd reality show to find a man I have a hard time believing she is that picky. I still think if Doug was some guy who she found hot (must I bring up how foolish she was with Ben Flajnik & Chris Bukowski?) she would put up with a lot more.

[Lacquerholic]

Vaughn is a baby. He basically said during their counseling session that he gives to get and if he does one bullshit nice thing for Monet, he expects it reciprocated in spades! and if he doesn't get it, he will write it on the scoreboard.

[Lovecat]

Yup, Vaughn is a scorekeeper. Problem is, he changes the rules of the game on a whim and writes the score in a seekrit place in invisible ink. Monet doesn't have a chance in hell of catching up.

[trimthatfat]

Doug: Whoa! Oh my goodness. My opinion of him has plummeted. I have suspected all along that he was playing a "lovesick puppy" role and that we were not seeing the real person. To lie about smoking and then try to cover it up by swearing on your mother instead of simply fessing up. Honestly... that would be it for me. Shows a huge lack of character not to mention immaturity.

 

ITA. I hate when people swear on their mother/child/brother/sister that they didn't do something. I find that so inappropriate. When you're an adult and you get caught doing something you shouldn't do, you should be man or woman enough to take ownership. Doug is an adult and he wanted to smoke so he did - own that instead of lying. I just don't like lying in general, but particularly in a situation when you are trying to build a relationship with someone. It's just immature.

 

I find smoking disgusting and when I was in the dating game, it was an absolute deal breaker.

Edited August 27, 2014 by trimthatfat

[lovetowrite73]

I don't think Jaime overreacted. Lying is never okay in my book, and about something so minor.  I can't imagine how easy it would be for him to lie about something major.

 

I bounce between being on Monet's side and Vaughn's side. I agree with those who have said he's been consistent in stating the type of woman he wanted from the beginning. Monet isn't it. And that's okay. There are women out there who like to be that type of woman in a relationship. To each her own.

 

I got nothing on Cortney and Jason. I wish them the best.

[mojolewis]

When I first started watching this show I thought, "You know they really are leaving this up to socialization in it's purest form." The episode last night was just an insult to my intelligence. Jamie Otis really gripes my a##. The whole cigarette situation was blow up in a ruse to find any reason to reject Doug. It's amazing how quickly she straddled Ben what's his face on the Bachelor and she had known him for about 10 minutes and besides that he is nowhere near as good looking and good natured as Doug is. She is full of herself and she thinks everyone is buying her trailer trash abuse victim story. My upbringing was dysfunctional and I happen to live in a double wide in the country now and I'm dignified enough and think enough of myself  not to  hunt for a man on national TV. And the psychologist- please he knows but I guess for TV's sake he tried to convince the audience that this was all a part of Jamie's poor traumatized me psyche. This woman is a ego maniac who one: thinks she is cute, two: thinks she is snowing us into liking her, and three: is only in this for the publicity. Poor Doug. If I were him not only would I have lit up a cigarette in secret but I would have had a swig of Vodka as well. I couldn't imagine crossing my legs and cold showers it would take to live even a second with this tease.

[Higgins]

Geez, Jamie! Okay. Doug smoked. He lied. He swore on his Mom. All bad. But he did NOT abuse you. And he did NOT kill anyone. Sure, a bit of annoyance -- even anger -- is possibly called for. And have a nice discussion. But chill out, honey! Yeah, I do think she was looking for an excuse -- ANY excuse. And Doug handed it to her on a silver platter. Bad move, Doug.

 

This.

I guess lying is one of those YMMV situations but I agree that for me it would be a deal-breaker. Especially if someone looked me straight in the eyes and swore on their beloved mother's life. Not only is that really wrong but also weirdly immature. Like Jamie said, most people are past the "hand in the cookie jar, swear on my mom's life" phase 'round about the second grade. Doug needed to put on his big boy pants and admit he was stressed from the emotion-filled day and had a slip up. And if that alone was going to send Jamie over the edge, then better he find out sooner rather than later. 

 

I don't think Jamie had any business getting married without much more therapy and self-reflection, and she really kind of bugs me, but I reluctantly have to pitch a tent in her camp on this one.

 

If you think for a minute that you will find a mate that will never lie to you, you are kidding yourself. The statistics on telling lies are pretty clear, most people lie on a daily basis.

[crazychicken]

What I question is that in a talking head Jaime said she has had abusive relationships but now knows what a good relationship is and won't accept less. OK fine but the rant you went off on Doug was verbally abusive that is not a good relationship. When you partner fears to tell you something because they are afraid of your reaction that is not a good relationship. When you constantly judge your partners that is not a good relationship. When you continually punish your partner over a mistake that is not a good relationship. When you are ready to run at the first sign of trouble that is not a good relationship. So Jamie might know what is expected is a good relationship but she defiantly does not back that up with her actions.

 

Yes Doug lied and really seems to regret it, I think he has well and truly learnt his lesson. I just hope that she truly does forgives him and move on some how I think this will be held over his head for awhile.

[MsPH]

I think Jamie had a reason to be upset about the lie, because it was really immature and wrong, BUT I can also understand how it happened and don't think less of Doug for it. He is clearly terrified of doing something to put her off, so his gut reaction was to deny any wrongdoing. And it's not like he doesn't have a reason to be terrified. He's totally smitten while she's been picking him apart the entire time trying to find faults. Being in a relationship with somehow who quit smoking for my sake, I know just how difficult it is to quit. It's actually mind-blowing how patient and easygoing Doug has been considering he just quit and is in this incredibly stressful scenario (not to mention sexually frustrated). Most people would be climbing the walls, so I have to give him some credit for that. Then he had a slip-up after a weekend of intense negative feelings and wanted nothing less than to add to those, but he got caught. I'm sure he knows what he should've done in hindsight, but there's nothing he can do about it now except apologize and take it as a lesson for the future. I don't think it negates all his positive characteristics and that's really what matters. Small lies turn into big lies if deceitfulness is a core characteristic, but I don't believe that's the case with Doug. It was a stupid mistake made with good intentions, even though that doesn't make it OK, but everyone makes mistakes. And I mean everyone.

 

I'm also wondering why Jason signed up for this, since he's got so much other stuff going on. I suppose he didn't know this would be a forever type of deal when he first signed up, but he must've known the goal was a relationship, so he should stop using his busy schedule and sick mom as excuses at this point. If they plan to spend the rest of their lives together then a few months here or there shouldn't scare anyone off. I really hope they were trying to mislead us with the previews, because I'll be super disappointed if he runs. Cortney seems so genuine and all in it.

 

Vaughn's mom is supercool. I like her. But I also get why Monet doesn't wanna fake it just to make Vaughn happy. That won't make her love for him grow, more like resentment. I hate how Vaughn does supposedly nice things hoping she'll reciprocate right away. That's just not how it works! If he keeps being giving then she'll grow to love him and she'll want to give in return. That's the ideal scenario that'll make them both happy. Not doing this so she'll do that the following day. That's not natural or constructive. He just comes off really needy. I get that Monet isn't what he expected, but she shouldn't have to change or pretend for her husband.

[bourbon]

Doug smoked and lied about it in a very childish way.  That's on him.  Jamie, once again, made it all about her and was willing to negate every positive thing about him because of it.  That's on her.  There is no way this woman is ready for a healthy, mature relationship.  She seems completely unwilling to accept any of Doug's flaws while demanding that he be completely accepting and supportive of hers.  What makes her OTT reaction worse for me is that the reason why Doug smoked in the first place was that he was so stressed from propping her up all weekend and trying to read her mixed signals. It was just embarrassing watching this man sit there like a whipped dog while she berated him and told him how unworthy he was of her love despite the fact that he has otherwise done every single thing she has asked of him in the relationship.  I just can't root for them anymore.  If their marriage continues, he will also be trying to live up to her impossibly high standards for the rest of his life.  Always wondering if he's good enough.  Always walking on eggshells wondering if she is going to find fault.  Smoking is a perfectly reasonable deal breaker.  Lying is bad.  But so is being a self-centered emotional vampire. Head for the hills before she sucks you dry, Doug.  

[qtpye]

 

I think that Vaughn checked out before he saw his wife in a swimsuit.  I think he checked out on their wedding night when he saw...ummm...everything.  I don't necessarily think he's looking for a thin supermodel type.  However, I think that Monet is heavier below the waist--meaning the thighs--than he was looking for.  I just don't think he can get past that and so he's making up all kinds of excuses. 

 

I think that Vaughn checked out before he saw his wife in a swimsuit.  I think he checked out on their wedding night when he saw...ummm...everything.  I don't necessarily think he's looking for a thin supermodel type.  However, I think that Monet is heavier below the waist--meaning the thighs--than he was looking for.  I just don't think he can get past that and so he's making up all kinds of excuses.

   

 

 

The weird thing about this is that Vaughn asked for a woman that had an ample rear end and thick thighs.  It that is what you are attracted to, then Monet in a swimsuit (or, um, her birthday suit) would really float your boat.  Perhaps, as other posters have stated, he just wanted to hit and quit it?

 

If Vaughn had so many women swooning over him ( I get that he is nice looking, but this seems a bit much) then why did he not marry one of them?

 

I also cosign that Jamie is not attracted to Doug and she is just enjoying the attention of the cameras.  I admire that Jamie has pulled herself out of a cycle of poverty and abuse, but she really needs to say away from reality tv.

[hermias]

I'm no "expert," but I'm pretty sure these "experts" are terrible.

Monet and Vaughn are definitely not right for each other, but I think they could learn how to be better partners to each other if they weren't so damn selfish all the time. There are times in a relationship where it's important to think of yourself and put yourself first, but not every waking second of every day.

Is anyone else here familiar with the 5 love languages? I don't agree with all of it, but I agree with the idea that everyone has different ways they receive love. Often, the way they like to receive love is the way they give love to others, and sometimes it doesn't match. This can lead to conflict. The 5 love languages are gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch (the whole spectrum, from casual arm-touching to sex).

Gonna take a stab and say Vaughn's primary love language is acts of service. He wants Monet to show him an act of service (cook him dinner), so he performs an act of service for her (picks her up from the doctor). It's pretty likely that Monet doesn't recognize this act as a sign of love or affection; her primary love language is probably different. It doesn%u2019t cross her mind to do an act of service for him because that%u2019s not necessarily how she would show someone that she loves them. They don%u2019t need to have matching ways of showing love, they just need to understand that they%u2019re different and act on them.

[Ohwell]

The weird thing about this is that Vaughn asked for a woman that had an ample rear end and thick thighs.

I remember him asking for a woman with an ample rear end, but I don't remember him saying anything about thick thighs, although maybe I just didn't hear it. 

 

If you think for a minute that you will find a mate that will never lie to you, you are kidding yourself. The statistics on telling lies are pretty clear, most people lie on a daily basis.

Yes.  And if someone asked me to swear that I would never, ever lie to them again then that would be a dealbreaker--for me.  

Edited August 27, 2014 by Ohwell

[ramble]

Eh, this was a bit of a bummer.  Boring episode overall. Vaughn & Monet fighting is so typical that it holds no punch. Although I did laugh at Vaughn explaining how women usually coddle him & do whatever necessary to keep the prize that he is. Telling a woman you expect that, hum, how's that working out for you? I don't think Monet is feeling that.  

 

I think Jamie has much deeper issues than she is even hinting at & we've been getting some big hints. Mom was (is?) an addict with multiple abusive boyfriends. Sister is in an abusive relationship. No knowledge of her father & her mother isn't sure who he is. I have a feeling she didn't just see abuse growing up but was abused herself. Still, with all that being said, the drama over the lie was a lot of drama! I'd be angry too that the guy lied, but I don't think it means he's evil. I've thought all along that Doug was playing his version of what he thinks he should be, but I think mainly he's just a doofus who hasn't matured & has really bad hair. Still his Survivor style declaration of "on my mama's life I swear we are the final two" made me roll my eyes. Dude just own it, apologize & shut up. The hole he dug was much bigger & deeper because of his own stupidity. 

 

I hate that this show is making me root for Courtney & Jason because logically I know their chances are slim. She seems to be such a caretaker & so willing to truly try. In theory they could have a chance. Makes my jaded heart feel squishy.

 

FYI MAFS lesson of the week:  Smoking be bad for the marriage yo. The cigarette of shame can cause divorce. It will make your spouse hate you, your children ashamed of you & your friends shun you. Thanks show for that ridiculous information supported by little fact but your random assurances that you have statistics. If I were to believe your facts than I would have to believe your experts are actually experts & that is never going to happen. I'm not a smoker & I hate the way it smells, but I don't think I'd be quite such a doomsayer about it. Smoke at your own romantic peril all ye who wish for true love. Geez!

 

P.S. Doug, if you're going to sneaky smoke then learn the secrets of hiding the stench. I had a friend who used to smoke during stressful times but due to her profession it wasn't just frowned upon it was considered hideous. She told me once how she kept from getting stinky. It involved saran wrap & fabreeze & a lot of work, but no one ever knew she sometimes indulged. 

Edited August 27, 2014 by ramble

[qtpye]

I remember him asking for a woman with an ample rear end, but I don't remember him saying anything about thick thighs, although maybe I just didn't hear it.

 

 

I think he either said it in the first episode or during the honeymoon episode.  However, I am a bit fuzzy on remembering exactly what went on, so I would not swear Doug's mother's life on it or anything like that.

[trimthatfat]

 

P.S. Doug, if you're going to sneaky smoke then learn the secrets of hiding the stench. I had a friend who used to smoke during stressful times but due to her profession it wasn't just frowned upon it was considered hideous. She told me once how she kept from getting stinky. It involved saran wrap & fabreeze & a lot of work, but no one ever knew she sometimes indulged. 

 

Heh...I discovered my friend took up smoking again because he would practically bathe in Febreeze.

 

In Doug's case, I'm just not understanding how one goes out to smoke and comes right back to kiss their SO if they are trying to hide the habit.

 

[bourbon]

 

Yes.  And if someone asked me to swear that I would never, ever lie to them again then that would be a dealbreaker--for me.

So much.  I audibly groaned when the "good doctor" asked Doug to look Jamie in the eye and swear never to lie to her again.  'Cause THAT'S not setting him up for failure or anything.  What the hell kind of expert employs this technique?  If it is juvenile to swear on your mother's life, isn't it just as juvenile and stupid to ask Doug to pinky swear no take-backsies promise not to lie again?  How is that helpful?  How is that an effective communication tool?  The "experts" have lost all credibility in my eyes, if they ever had much to begin with.

Edited August 27, 2014 by bourbon

[sleekandchic]

In Doug's case, I'm just not understanding how one goes out to smoke and comes right back to kiss their SO if they are trying to hide the habit.

Yes! And that's why I wish we saw the incident as it happened, rather than getting the rehash. It's hard for me to accept that Doug is foolish enough to believe his SO wouldn't smell smoke on him. You know, those two people exhaust me. Jamie is a whirling dervish of need and excuses, while Doug's lapdog act is increasingly hard to watch and harder to take.

Doug has been in long-term relationships before, right? I wish one of those women would pop up to tell us about Real Doug.

And speaking of former SOs, Vaughn wants me to believe that all his old gfs coddled him and nurtured him and waited on him? Ok. It's actually hard for me to accept that he ever had a long-term gf at all. But, if so, what went wrong with all those Stepfords he's waxing nostalgic about?

What I remember Vaughn specifying about his preferences was that a woman should have an ample butt and curves. I don't recall the thick thighs reference, but I could have missed it.

I also remember a TH in the Honeymoon episode that was, to me, revelatory. While Monet, in her swimsuit, stood upright on her board paddling in the background, we saw and heard Vaughn wistfully address the camera (likely responding to a producer): "well yeah, I DID say I wanted curves, and she sure has those...." (paraphrasing to the best of my memory). I was pretty sure we were about to hear "BUT...." because, to me, he sounded and looked Vaughn™- disappointed.

Edited August 27, 2014 by sleekandchic

[Ohwell]

I still think Vaughn was disappointed when he saw Monet's goods on the wedding night.  Then when he did the TH on the honeymoon, with Monet in the swimsuit, he was embarrassed that she was his wife and everyone could see that he didn't have his "perfect" woman.       

[sleekandchic]

I still think Vaughn was disappointed when he saw Monet's goods on the wedding night. Then when he did the TH on the honeymoon, with Monet in the swimsuit, he was embarrassed that she was his wife and everyone could see that he didn't have his "perfect" woman.

I agree with you, Ohwell. It's telling to me that there hasn't been a party or a celebratory night out with Vaughn' s friends and Monet. Instead, he ran back to NJ the first chance he got.

[trimthatfat]

So much.  I audibly groaned when the "good doctor" asked Doug to look Jamie in the eye and swear never to lie to her again.  'Cause THAT'S not setting him up for failure or anything.  What the hell kind of expert employs this technique?  If it is juvenile to swear on your mother's life, isn't it just as juvenile and stupid to ask Doug to pinky swear no take-backsies promise not to lie again?  How is that helpful?  How is that an effective communication tool?  The "experts" have lost all credibility in my eyes, if they ever had much to begin with.

 

Well said. Doug is going to lie it again - he might lie when Jamie asks if a particular dress makes her look wide or when she makes him a meal that he doesn't particularly like or when he wants to spend a little more time with his friends at the bar.  Instead, the 'expert' could have expounded upon why Doug felt the need to lie in the first place. Get to the meat of the issue. Clearly, he was scared of Jamie and knew the situation was fragile.

[Katmai]

I'm still thinking Vaughn is trying too hard to sound like he likes females and is buried deep in his closet.

 

When Dr C/Don'tQuestionUsExperts first spoke to each couple, I found it unnerving that he told them to bring him "up to speed since their wedding and now that their experiment is almost over." It totally sounded to me like he hasn't had anything to do with anything since he signed off on the chosen guinea pigs. If he's such an "expert," why haven't the couples been meeting with him and the other "experts," say once a week since this debacle started? His stupid, off-the-mark advice is too little, too late for all of them, but that's if it had been remotely helpful in the first place, which none of it was.

 

I hope Season 2 has more noteworthy "experts" because the three this season don't even get in the ballpark...

 

ETA correction because I forgot about the atheist "religious" expert, so that makes four that need to be replaced

Edited August 29, 2014 by Macthekat

[ketose]

I just can't root for them anymore.  If their marriage continues, he will also be trying to live up to her impossibly high standards for the rest of his life.  Always wondering if he's good enough.  Always walking on eggshells wondering if she is going to find fault.  Smoking is a perfectly reasonable deal breaker.  Lying is bad.  But so is being a self-centered emotional vampire. Head for the hills before she sucks you dry, Doug.  

 

Doug may be waiting until just after she sucks him dry.

[MsPH]

I too have a hard time taking Dr. C's expertise seriously. I know he claimed to have spent hours with each couple in addition to the few mins that was shown, but that just makes his advice seem all the more inane. And I couldn't really trust a therapist whose eyes are wandering around the place everytime he speaks. Maybe that's just his thinking face, but it seems like he's insecure about the words coming out of his mouth. And frankly he should be considering we as viewers seem to be more up to speed with what's really going on with those people.

Edited August 27, 2014 by MsPH

[sleekandchic]

Jamie is on stage at all times in my estimation. It's as though these shows are her auditions for future work.

Case in point: During their joint therapy session, Jamie sat thigh to thigh with Doug. And she locked into his gaze with such loving devotion that anyone watching the show for the first time would easily think, wow, now that's True Love! She loves the camera and adores being center-stage.

With Jamie, everything she says and does is calculated. Very little rings true to me.

[bacigi9]

This episode was an eyeopener.   I think that Jaime has way too many insecurities and trust issues for any relationship and should be speaking with a professional about it through the series.  No relationship can withstand all those issues.   She needs to fix herself and she should know this as a nurse.  About Doug, well he should not have lied but he is trying too hard to please her.   Like walking on egg shells almost.   She overreacted and he should not be lying.   

 

I am not so sure that Vaughn and Monet will or should stay together.  Vaughn seems to be interested in a woman who is attracted to him emotionally and physically.  Someone who is less vocal about what he says to her.  Monet gets upset right away, and is too independent for him.   She needs to care about him more and be more affectionate and loving.   I am not sure if that is her style.  When you get married, it is give and take.  He is telling her what he wants, but she is just not getting it.   I can't see her meeting his needs, therefore, he will not get the adoration or affection that he wants from someone.   Monet has not realized that she is now married and should not be making a stance about her independence so much.   All these couples should have had a therapist throughout the whole series.  Not just when there is a problem.  

 

Doug and Cortney are adorable but need to get their families involved.   Doug needs to introduce Cortney to mom.  Not wait until she can handle it.   I am quite sure that his mom would be happy to see her son cared for by someone wonderful.   He should do it soon.  Cortney should insist family meet him soon too.   They are handling things much better than the other couples.

[Bellalisa]

We don't need any experts at all! They add nothing! I especially love the sexologist....

Vaughn likes big butts and curvy women- he never said Thick Thighs. I think he is attracted to her physically. I think he wants to be coddled and she won't do it.

I think Jamie was looking for an excuse and he handed one to her on a silver platter. Although I will say I have gone to thinking I was "madly in love" with a boyfriend to finding him repulsive very quickly myself after they did some really annoying and/or stupid thing.

[Ohwell]

Regarding Vaughn and Monet and the cooking issue:  I wonder, do they have takeout or eat out every night for dinner?  "Cause that can get expensive.  I just can't believe that nobody is cooking anything at all.  I wonder if this is just producer-driven BS.

 

Edit:  I just went to the MAFS site and saw this tidbit about Vaughn:

"An adventurer and a cook, Vaughn wants his spouse to share these similar interests."

So how could these so-called "experts" miss the fact that cooking really is important to him and that he was looking for someone to share that interest?  I don't blame Monet for not wanting to cook, but these experts should have known better.

Edited August 28, 2014 by Ohwell

[Bandolero]

Yep... I agree with most of the sentiments about Jamie. Instead of spending all of this energy trying to find a man... she should be trying to find herself (i.e. self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-love). It seems like she thinks that having the perfect externals (husband, kids, money, etc.) will validate her somehow. She really does go on about her past and upbringing a bit too much... and so it comes across like a pity party. 

 

However just as Jamie needs some self-awareness and self-reflection so does Doug. It is certainly not Jamie's fault that he feels the need to act like he does. Jamie is the way she is... it is up to Doug to decide if he wants to deal with all of that or not. Nobody has a gun to his head. He's an adult with choices. It's called personal responsibility. I would not want to be with somebody that I could not be myself with... and that is the problem here. Doug probably knows that if he shows himself, Jamie may very well run for the hills. He seems stuck on how beautiful she is and wants her no matter what... that is unhealthy on his part. We have yet to see the real Doug... he just comes across as inauthentic.

 

Yep lots of us lie. However what you do once you are called out speaks volumes. That is where integrity comes into play. Lying about core issues about yourself to get someone to be with you is manipulative and shortsighted IMO.