S04.E01: To Love and Be Wise Is Impossible

[Quof]

Quote

5 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Do you think that coffee was really $11 or she got a bagel or muffin with it?

The register said "Favor" was $4 something, the latte was $6 something.  

Edited January 30, 2023 by Quof

[renatae]

8 hours ago, anoninrva said:

From the neck up, I'd agree.  I do wonder how big of a deal they're going to make him being trans.  I can't imagine that's going to go over to well with Columbian in-laws, but I could be happily mistaken there.

I was particularly noting the thickness near the waistline and the overall physique.

It's going to be interesting to see what happens with the kids issue. Yet another person not telling the truth about what they're willing to deal with?

I see Danielle getting sent home on the next flight after she tells her beau her true plan.

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

She quit her job, gave up her apartment (which I very sincerely doubt was $4,000/month,

I'm confused as to where she lives. If it's in Manhattan, her rent could easily be $4K a month for a very modest one bedroom apartment, but her bio says she is "from Yonkers"  which is a commuting suburb just North of the City. Does she still live there and just claims to live "in the City" but technically not within the five boroughs? 

[JeanJean]

10 hours ago, greekmom said:

Count me in for excited for Debbie (who I am nicknaming Skipper 2.0 because she looks like Laura).

Is she the 67 year old engaged to the 24 year old? Why isn't she adopting him instead of marrying him?

[Natalie68]

On 1/28/2023 at 9:52 AM, Welshman in Ca said:

Pretty sure he said onion, he also said he used rice water shampoo. Nothing surprises me after little ed & his mayonnaise hair.

He did say onion oil. ICK!  It is a thing apparently.

[magemaud]

48 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

He did say onion oil. ICK!  It is a thing apparently.

yep: 

"Controls hair loss and encourages re-growth

Rich in Sulfur and Potassium, Onion Oil has been known to strengthen split ends and prevent breakage, and firm hair strands. It helps maintain the pH of the scalp and hair roots which facilitates the growth of new hair follicles."

I don't think I want to smell like Sulfur myself...

[anoninrva]

Just now, magemaud said:

I don't think I want to smell like Sulfur myself...

I'd be ok smelling like matches.  That's a manly smell.  Come to think of it, my black pepper shampoo probably isn't that different.  Eggs or onions though, no thanks.

[Almost 3000]

17 hours ago, JeanJean said:

If Danielle wants to manifest money, an extra $15,000 for life just for working one more year is a pretty good manifestation!!!!

I'm hoping she took a one year sabbatical and is playing everyone. That fact that they kept mentioning the one year plan for apartment rental and visa made me suspicious. 

My cousin just took an unpaid one and can come back without benefit lose.

[magemaud]

19 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

I'd be ok smelling like matches.  That's a manly smell.

I thought sulfur smelled like farts

[1011101010001]

22 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I thought sulfur smelled like farts

I think people strike a match to mask the fart.  Like some think perfume will do for body odor.

[Mr. Miner]

20 hours ago, magemaud said:

Danielle also mentioned the costs for her car, insurance, etc.

I only watched Pillow Talk, it's only an hour long for God's sake. Did Danielle mention that Johan's dick is as big as her arm? I hope she ends up penniless.

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 1/30/2023 at 3:32 AM, renatae said:

This is truly the first time I've ever said this - I can't get into any of these people.

I'm also having a hard time believing Gabe (?) is trans.

I agree.  I tried last night and Nutter Bama Angel Wings had me questioning my life choices.  Why the rush to marry after SIX days?  

 

On 1/29/2023 at 5:18 PM, magemaud said:

Is 43 years the biggest age difference we've seen so far? 

Mark and Nikki were 112 years apart, right?

[StatisticalOutlier]

17 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

Gabe & his friend both had absolute artist surgeons,

Do you have any idea what's going on with his nipples?  A couple of us noticed they weren't flat, and the possibility was floated that they might be pierced, but I know as little about pierced nipples as I do any type of surgery.

17 hours ago, Quof said:

The register said "Favor" was $4 something, the latte was $6 something.  

Aah, you're right.  "Favor."  What is that?  (I don't drink coffee and never go to coffee shops.)

[Gobi]

8 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Aah, you're right.  "Favor."  What is that?  (I don't drink coffee and never go to coffee shops.)

Could it have been “Flavor”? $4 for some added flavoring. 

[Quof]

Nope, I thought it might be flavor but it wasn’t (unless the register is programmed with a misspelling). And a shot of syrup does not cost anywhere near 4 bucks.  But she also didn’t pick up anything else, like a baked good. 

[1011101010001]

Favor is an NYC coffee roaster so maybe that’s where the beans are obtained.

 https://favor.coffee/pages/roasting

[FrancescaFiore]

18 hours ago, magemaud said:

I thought sulfur smelled like farts

Very much so. There's a spa in California called Sulfur Springs. Fartiest smelling place on Earth. Really nice spa though. If you can get past the smell.

[magemaud]

6 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

Did Danielle mention that Johan's dick is as big as her arm? I hope she ends up penniless.

I read this as "penisless" 

[magemaud]

Maybe that trip to the high priced coffee shop was filmed to reinforce Danielle's claim that NYC is crazy expensive. 

edited to add: When I watched the scene again last night it made me wonder if Danielle was familiar with that particular shop because when they handed her the drink she questioned, "That's a large?" Maybe production went out and found the most outrageously priced coffee shop for her to patronize. 

Edited February 4, 2023 by magemaud

[gaPeach]

On 1/30/2023 at 11:43 AM, CrazyInAlabama said:

However, since Daniele didn't ask me, I suspect that her announcement to her husband about quitting NYC, never getting him a visa, and staying in DR, may be a deal breaker for him.   

Wow.  What a self-centered woman Daniele is.  She changed her mind of where they were going to live without his input.  This is after they discussed it as a couple and agreed to it.  I would not be surprised if that was her plan all along and she just went along with it so he would marry her. Nice how she waited until after the wedding to tell him her new plans.

I do not see this ending well.  You could see how much he wants to come to the US just in the short conversation they had in the car.  I believe she is playing him as a fool.  But I think she has grossly underestimated him and his intelligence.  I wish he had not married her so he could get away from her easier than a divorce.

And for a teacher, she is pretty dumb.  She gave up everything including 15k more a year in pension just to frolic in the sand and make sandcastles all day.  How exactly will they support themselves?  Yo-something (ok I forgot his full name) explained that people in DR make enough to survive but not thrive.  And she's trying to sell him on "American is not the land of opportunity"?  

She needs to go back to school........

[DEL901]

1 hour ago, gaPeach said:

Wow.  What a self-centered woman Daniele is.  She changed her mind of where they were going to live without his input.  This is after they discussed it as a couple and agreed to it.  I would not be surprised if that was her plan all along and she just went along with it so he would marry her. Nice how she waited until after the wedding to tell him her new plans.

I do not see this ending well.  You could see how much he wants to come to the US just in the short conversation they had in the car.  I believe she is playing him as a fool.  But I think she has grossly underestimated him and his intelligence.  I wish he had not married her so he could get away from her easier than a divorce.

And for a teacher, she is pretty dumb.  She gave up everything including 15k more a year in pension just to frolic in the sand and make sandcastles all day.  How exactly will they support themselves?  Yo-something (ok I forgot his full name) explained that people in DR make enough to survive but not thrive.  And she's trying to sell him on "American is not the land of opportunity"?  

She needs to go back to school........

But the best part is….it’s herself that is screwed, walking away from a $15,000 bump in pension if she sticks it out another year.  She going to be in the DR broke and with a husband who rightly feels betrayed.  He’s a good looking guy.  He’ll dump the dead weight and find an actual sugar mama who will live up to her end of the deal and bring him to the US. 

[Kiss my mutt]

She’s going to be out a husband and $15,000! Moving to the US was part of the deal. All that work for nothing. Maybe she is testing him to see if he loves her or loves or the chance to move stateside. 

[Texasmom1970]

7 hours ago, magemaud said:

I read this as "penisless" 

With her attitude she will probably end up both!

[anoninrva]

14 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

I only watched Pillow Talk, it's only an hour long for God's sake. Did Danielle mention that Johan's dick is as big as her arm?

I'm sure he's well-endowed, but she's only three feet tall.  How big can her arm be?

[1011101010001]

49 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

I'm sure he's well-endowed, but she's only three feet tall.  How big can her arm be?

I have heard people compare to a baby’s arm but an adult arm bullshit.

[endure]

On 1/30/2023 at 1:32 AM, renatae said:

This is truly the first time I've ever said this - I can't get into any of these people.

I'm also having a hard time believing Gabe (?) is trans.

Me too, but last season was for me too but I still half assedly watch this crap, more for the snark with you awesome characters than anything but it’s getting harder to stay tuned in.

[magemaud]

IIRC, Danielle expressed her desire to live in the DR when she met Yohan's family and it came as a complete surprise to him. She was still in a rush to marry him on HER schedule, and did so, even though that important issue was never resolved. Especially with the language barrier, Yohan didn't know what he was getting into when they married and still thought he was eventually coming to the US on a spousal Visa. 

I was glad to hear on PT that Veronica, who is fluent in Spanish, said that Danielle's Spanish was "a lot like Chantel's" because even with my 50 plus year old high school Spanish, I thought it was rather basic and could easily be misinterpreted. 

Edited February 1, 2023 by magemaud

[magemaud]

On 1/31/2023 at 8:24 AM, Mrs. Hanson said:

Mark and Nikki were 112 years apart, right?

ha ha, it seemed that way but their age difference was 39 years, so New Old Debbie and Oussama are ahead. 

[Mr. Miner]

25 minutes ago, magemaud said:

She was still in a rush to marry him on HER schedule, and did so, even though that important issue was never resolved.

God forbid Johan comes to NY and tries to make some money to send back to his family. He's stuck in the DR with his little twat weirdo.

[Hotel Snarker]

I don’t get the vibe that Daniele really understands the kind of poverty that Yohan is living in. She seems to think of it almost like a fun Marie-Kondo-esque experiment (“live simply!” “de clutter your life!”) rather than a grueling, fundamentally unjust reality. She’s worse than a tourist.

So how much money does Daniele actually have? She says she struggles with NY prices but then she takes frequent Caribbean vacations, buys 12 dollar oat lattes, and (this is the real kicker) she walks away from $15,000 more per year in her pension without a second thought. Is she a trust fund baby? Mafia hit woman? Maureen Ponderosa with 90k in credit card debt? Seriously, I can’t figure her out.

She is awful for lying to Yohan about where they're going to live. She is lying to Yohan. She told him that she would apply for the visa, and has allowed him to believe that that’s the plan. Just because he hasn’t asked her if she’s done it yet doesn’t mean that she’s not lying. The problem is that she set an expectation that she had no intention of meeting. It would be like if I said “I will make you dinner tonight,” knowing full well that I was going on a two week-long vacation to Tuscany on a flight that boards at 4 p.m. (it’s my analogy, a girl can dream) except this is orders of magnitude larger than that and OH MY GOD Danielle is gonna give me an ulcer. I hope this is just a manufactured storyline because if not this is fucked up. 

Started the show, saw Kris in fairy wings within 10 secs, and I already know why she's on this show.

I’ve known Big Daddy Gabe for all of five minutes and I love him. Please don’t let TLC fuck this up. The Primetimer peeps must protect him at all costs.

This is the gayest and hottest season yet and I am HERE FOR IT! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Himbos, lipstick lesbians, and hunky Trans men, oh my!

[1011101010001]

6 hours ago, magemaud said:

ha ha, it seemed that way but their age difference was 39 years, so New Old Debbie and Oussama are ahead. 

Milf Manor beat them to it.  The youngest son is 20 and the oldest mom is 59.

 

Edit never mind the 39 was referring to Mark and Nikki.

2 hours ago, Hotel Snarker said:

Maureen Ponderosa with 90k in credit card debt?

Hmmmm maybe she thinks creditors can’t reach her in the DR.

Edited February 2, 2023 by MrBuhBye

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 1/28/2023 at 10:20 AM, MrBuhBye said:

India is projected to overtake China in population this year.

Well Sumit ain't contributing!

 

On 1/30/2023 at 1:02 PM, FrancescaFiore said:

Saying in English right in front of him that she has no intention of going back to New York, knowing that he can't understand her and then laughing about it was just plain evil. She looks up at him all lovingly and laughs in his face that she's just said something she knows he can't understand. Rude. Somebody needs to sage smudge her whole attitude. 

Is Tim free?

[jnymph]

I laughed out loud when Daniele said she wouldn’t miss that extra 15k when she was 62.  Hilariously stupid mindset. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 2/1/2023 at 4:26 PM, Hotel Snarker said:

This is the gayest and hottest season yet and I am HERE FOR IT! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Himbos, lipstick lesbians, and hunky Trans men, oh my!

I have given up on this show.  Do you recommend ff through certain couples and focusing on a few?  If so, which ones do I focus on?

[Hotel Snarker]

2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I have given up on this show.  Do you recommend ff through certain couples and focusing on a few?  If so, which ones do I focus on?

Right now, I haven’t really felt like fast forwarding as all the couples seem intriguing enough to pull me in. However, you might want to stick around in 2 weeks, because we are all looking forward to seeing Granny Gatsby and Oussama. Although she’ll probably just be a female Mark.

[TwirlyGirly]

On 1/30/2023 at 4:23 PM, FrancescaFiore said:

 

 

On 1/30/2023 at 4:23 PM, FrancescaFiore said:

 

 

On 1/30/2023 at 4:23 PM, FrancescaFiore said:

 

 

Edited February 8, 2023 by TwirlyGirly
It saved my post four times!

[TwirlyGirly]

On 1/30/2023 at 4:23 PM, FrancescaFiore said:

Gabe & his friend both had absolute artist surgeons, because neither of them present as anything other than born, biological males. Truly, bravo. Gabe and his friend also discussed something that isn't often discussed outside of the trans community that I thought was interesting. The fact that m2f trans women are often easily identifiable by sight, whereas f2m trans men are not necessarily. And this must factor into which sector of the trans Community is most often targeted in hate crimes.

No - it's not the surgeons. It's the cross-sex hormones.

The only surgery Gave has had on a body part we can see is a double mastectomy. 

When a girl goes thru puberty her breasts grow and her body fat redistributes. If she's transgender (FtM), testosterone after puberty will put muscle mass on their body and also body and facial hair will grow. Body and facial hair covers a lot! After a double mastectomy, you won't be able to tell a FtM  he wasn't born male unless he hasn't had bottom surgery and you look there.

It's much more complicated for MtF, because when boys go thru puberty there are skeletal changes that are permanent. Their shoulders broaden, their hands and feet grow, their jaws and brow ridge become more prominent. And they develop an Adam's apple.

Extensive and expensive plastic surgery can shave the Adam's apple, soften the jawline and brow ridge - if they can afford it. But there is nothing that can be done about the shoulder width or the size of the hands and feet. These are the things that make it difficult for MtFs to pass, and why they are disproportionately murdered more than FtMs.

Of course MtFs also need breast implants - if they've gone thru male puberty. If they were on puberty blockers and then began cross-sex hormones (estrogen) they'll grow breast tissue. They'll still need bottom surgery, though. 

This is why it's so important for trans kids to have access to puberty blockers! If they make the decision to begin to fully transition after a few years on puberty blockers, their ability to pass successfully once they've transitioned will be much better if they haven't gone thru puberty as their sex assigned at birth.

It's not an exaggeration to say their life depends on their being able to pass - because it does. 

ETA 2/7/23 10:29pm

I had my daughter look at this photo, and she found the mastectomy scars, around the bottom edge of both areolas. Gabe must have had small breasts, otherwise the scars would have to have been much longer. 

Ah ha! From the Cleveland Clinic FtM Top Surgery page:

That must be the type of surgery Gave had! 

Edited February 8, 2023 by TwirlyGirly
Added info about estrogen & breast tissue. Added photo of Gabe and location of probable mastectomy scars

[Scarlett45]

I dropped out of the 90Day universe for a while and decided to pop back in and see if anyone is interesting.