S03.E11: The Wedding Day

[Door County Cherry]

TBD

[catherinejane]

Luckilly in the UK we get this ahead of US.

so have watched! will comment when more have seen.

[SummerDreams]

Cole I cried more when my neighbour's dog that was sick died. Get the f out of here. There will be plenty of brainless girls who will choose you to degrade and insult them.

[NeenerNeener]

Well, Bartise gotta Bartise. I'm not surprised how that one turned out. 

The wedding dresses the ladies picked out were pretty similar...sparkly, with that nude lining.

Well, I'm not surprised how that turned out, other than I didn't expect Zanab to open a can of whoopass on Cole right at the altar.

Cole reminded me of a guy I dated in college: love-bombed me until I agreed to date him, and then the constant carping about what we didn't have in common and how I needed to change began.

Edited November 9, 2022 by NeenerNeener

[catherinejane]

probably not many choices of dresses if you need something that isn't fitted/made to order.

So all in all, more said yes than i expected.
now onto the reunion to see how many actually stick!

[Snapdragon]

Why Colleen?  WHY?  

*sigh*  Oh well.  At least Nancy and Zanab got away.  Would have been better if Nancy had told Bartise to take a hike like Zanab did with Cole, but at least she'll be happier in the long run.  And dang Cole for being such as ass because he and Zanab, from a physical viewpoint, do look so good together.  Like, their children would have been gorgeous and I thought Zanab looked the best out of everyone at their weddings.

Sidenote, does Matt only get nasty when he's been drinking?  Given the editing, it's hard for me to tell but I'm kinda hoping that if that's the case he stops drinking and gets some therapy, for Colleen's sake, if not for his own as well.

[Empress1]

Brennan’s vows were so sweet. He really seems like a good guy. Alexa sounded like she said whatever came into her head when she got up there, but I hope they’re happy.

Nancy’s mother wasn’t wrong - Bartise isn’t ready and he’s not mature enough for Nancy - but it was inappropriate for her and the rest of the family to butt into their conversation. Bartise spoke to them pretty disrespectfully though. Good for Nancy for saying, if you don’t want me now, I don’t want you later. It’s the best thing, even though she’s heartbroken. I laughed when she said “his reasons were stupid.”

Damn, Zanab. She could have, and IMO should have, said all that in private. That was cruel. At least Cole has good friends. She did recognize that her friends clapping was tacky. It was. So was airing all that out at the altar.

Colleen and Matt won’t make it long-term.

Why didn’t the noes change out of their wedding gowns to leave the venue?

Edited November 9, 2022 by Empress1

[Zuleikha]

Cole asked Zanab point blank if she even liked him at the chicken dinner, and Zanab claimed she loved him, definitely wanted to marry him, and was only concerned about whether he was committed to her. And she has the gall to claim that he gaslit her?

Cruelty is not empowering. I am glad that Zanab and Cole did not get married because they were clearly wrong for each other. But Zanab is engaging in massive denialism about her own behavior towards Cole if she thinks she was the poor, wronged victim. To me, it seems like Zanab never forgave Cole for going off script that first morning after in Malibu, and she has been blaming him for being his own person rather than the fantasy in her head. I don't think ever really loved him, but she was never willing to be honest with him.

Bartise didn't really do anything different than SK, but Nancy's reaction versus Raven's makes it feel like Bartise did. Bartise seemed like he was sincere that he would have liked to continue dating if Nancy hadn't shut him down hard. I don't understand Nancy's choices, with either saying yes or being so hurt that Bartise said a functional not yet.

I wish the episode ended with Alexa and Brennan rather than Colleen and Matt. Alexa and Brennan were pure, uncomplicated joy. I hope things work for Colleen and Matt, but the show didn't give us a lot of reasons for optimism there.

[DearEvette]

Bartise and Nancy:  No surprise he said no.  In typical Bartise fashion he was both defensive and offensive and deflected like crazy.

Also his pants look really stupid.

I think I watched in laughing horror as her family rolled up on him and then his family rolled up on them  Oh My.  They were dramatic and messy.  But her younger brother's energy was everything.

Alexa and Brennon:  Again no surprise.  His vows were wonderful.  I liked them from the start.  I will admit as the series went on, my opinion of her dropped a bit but my opinion of him rose.  There is a smugness about her that kinda turns me off a bit.  But yay for them!

Cole and Zanab: I am glad they didn't get married.  Would have never worked.  But she was cruel the way she went about it.  A 'No' at the altar is humiliating enough.  She took it to next level and frankly it almost feels like she enjoyed it.  I am not Cole fan by any means, but nothing he did deserved that.

Colleen and Matt:  I really, really wish she'd said no.  God.  I hope he isn't as volatile or the rager he seemed on the show, but I have doubts. 

[Empress1]

48 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

She took it to next level and frankly it almost feels like she enjoyed it.  I am not Cole fan by any means, but nothing he did deserved that.

It did seem like she enjoyed it, and/or like she was milking the moment for TV.

[Miss Slay]

This was the best episode of the season.

Yes, Nancy's family should have let her and Bartise talk. But I did feel for them because they felt how hurt Nancy was. So I didn't mind it - Bartise has a lot to learn.

I'm proud of Zainab - she and Cole should not be married. But I do think Zainab is a hurt person - and some therapy might help with her self confidence. I have a feeling Cole made her feel bad because she already didn't feel great. Not that Cole wasn't a jerk at times.

Brennan and Alexa were sweet.

Colleen and Matt - I felt like Matt knew they shouldn't be married but after she said yes, he wasn't going to say no. Good luck to them.

[Jack Sampson]

I missed it, did Brennon change gods for Alexa?

I don't blame Bartise, Nancy's family seemed impossible to deal with.  If he had any doubts, her family's reaction would have solidified it.  I was scared for his safety. 

Zanab was classless. She says she "didn't want him to hate her" yet launched into that rant in front of everyone.  It would have been enough to say no at the altar, then explain later.  Yes, it was super ghetto when your friends clapped.

Colleen - I don't get why Cole said she was a 10.  But, compared to the other women, her age difference really shows.  She seems to just have more energy than even Raven.  Matt's a dork who drinks too much.

[jabRI]

9 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

I missed it, did Brennon change gods for Alexa?

Not sure you phrased this correctly, as it's the same God.  But I know he was looking into converting to Judaism.

[Ms Blue Jay]

7 hours ago, NeenerNeener said:

Cole reminded me of a guy I dated in college: love-bombed me until I agreed to date him, and then the constant carping about what we didn't have in common and how I needed to change began.

Oh my god so it's more common than I thought.

17 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Zanab was classless. She says she "didn't want him to hate her" yet launched into that rant in front of everyone.  It would have been enough to say no at the altar, then explain later.  Yes, it was super ghetto when your friends clapped.

Calling it "Ghetto" was not classy of her either though.

[Empress1]

28 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

I missed it, did Brennon change gods for Alexa?

If he’s planning to convert, it wouldn’t have happened by the wedding. Conversion to Judaism takes about a year. Usually people who are converting do so before marriage (one of my best friends did) but obviously the compressed timeline here doesn’t allow for that.

12 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Calling it "Ghetto" was not classy of her either though

No it was not.

Edited November 9, 2022 by Empress1

[ichbin]

1 hour ago, DearEvette said:

Also his pants look really stupid.

The sockless part though...with formal wear...one of those looks that is going to look even more stupid when looking back at photos in the future.  Overall I keep thinking Buster Poindexter when I looked at him

7 minutes ago, jabRI said:

18 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

I missed it, did Brennon change gods for Alexa?

Not sure you phrased this correctly, as it's the same God.  But I know he was looking into converting to Judaism.

That confused me.  Alexa made it sound like her family wasn't very religious and made point of saying they are Israeli more so than Jewish in the religious sense.  He wasn't religious either.  Not sure why it would be necessary for him to formally convert.

34 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

...Nancy's family seemed impossible to deal with.  If he had any doubts, her family's reaction would have solidified it.  I was scared for his safety. 

Nancy's brother was way over the top.  Putting on a big show but ultimately he demonstrated a clear lack of respect for his sister by refusing to leave when she asked him and the rest of them to leave.

38 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Colleen - I don't get why Cole said she was a 10.

She wears a swimsuit well?  As for overall attractiveness I didn't see her being more so than anyone else there.  

42 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

Zanab was classless. She says she "didn't want him to hate her" yet launched into that rant in front of everyone.  It would have been enough to say no at the altar, then explain later. 

Was it classless?  Probably.  Was I happy to see her do it?  Hell, yeah!

[LakeGal]

I am glad Nancy and Bartise did not get married.  Nancy was hurt.  But it is better for her future.  I thought it was wrong that Nancy's family (mother/brother) made it all about themselves.  They really needed to step back.  They could be there for Nancy later.  But at that moment it was not about them.  

Zanab behaved badly at the altar.  It was fine for her to say NO.  They should not be married.  But the way she went off on Cole was uncalled for.  She made herself look a lot worse than him.  Zanab was basically describing herself when she accused Cole of those actions.  She is insecure and takes everything Cole says or does and twists it so she is the victim and he is saying things he is not even saying.  Plus she obviously told all her friends her side of the story.  The clapping was also in bad taste.  Cole was really being ganged up on.  Zanab that was a really bad look for you.

No surprise with Brennon and Alexis.  I expected them to both say Yes.  

Colleen and Matt will probably have a drama filled marriage.  

[Empress1]

4 minutes ago, ichbin said:

Alexa made it sound like her family wasn't very religious and made point of saying they are Israeli more so than Jewish in the religious sense.  He wasn't religious either.  Not sure why it would be necessary for him to formally convert.

It may not be. I think he said he was looking into it, not that he’d decided to do it. I know a few people who looked into converting (to Judaism and other religions) but decided against it for various reasons. When my friend who ultimately did convert was looking into it, that was a process unto itself - meeting rabbis, researching the process, etc.

I believe if they have kids and want to raise them Jewish, they’ll be able to if he doesn’t convert because the Jewish heritage comes from the mother, so Brennan may decide conversion isn’t necessary. He may research the faith and connect to it and decide to do so. Up to him. (My mom has a friend who is Jewish with three sons. One is a lifelong bachelor, one is divorced and one is married. The married one’s wife converted and leaned in really hard - she and her husband are Orthodox, which is more stringent than how the boys were raised.) 

Colleen and Matt are the Amber and Barnett of this season - like “Not for me, but I guess.” Matt seems exhausting, and his temper is a real concern. (Amber seemed exhausting to me, but in a different way.) Colleen is really young and went from “I don’t get deep” to married in two months, which seems unwise. But they did it, so …

[jabRI]

Colleen came across as pretty immature for her wedding day, asking everyone their opinion.  She's the one that has to live it.

[Zuleikha]

1 hour ago, ichbin said:

 That confused me. Alexa made it sound like her family wasn't very religious and made point of saying they are Israeli more so than Jewish in the religious sense.  He wasn't religious either.  Not sure why it would be necessary for him to formally convert.

What Alexa's dad said doesn't seem to have come across very clearly because I see a lot of confusion. But I'm Jewish, so I understood. He was just clarifying for Brennon that their culture is Israeli, and their religion is Judaism because Brennon was mixing it up a bit when trying to talk about blending lives together. The dad was just clarifying that they're not the Ashkenazi American Jewish culture that people know through things like Seinfeld.

They are definitely not very religious. If they were religious, there is no way they would have done a wedding that fast and with Brennon's status up in the air. Israelis also tend to split into either very secular or Orthodox. They don't have as many in between denominations as American Judaism has. My guess is that Alexa's family belongs to a reform congregation or possibly no congregation (but I'm pretty sure from some curiosity Googling that they are involved with the Dallas JCC).

It was not necessary for him to convert, and there is no way he converted by the wedding date. It would have been literally impossible. But they did have a very Jewish wedding. I was so happy to see it, especially to see them up on the chairs at the reception. I wish the show had given Brennon at least one talking head where he talked about his feelings in depth... my sense is that he is functionally a blank slate in terms of his family having religious traditions, but I'm curious if he felt any pull towards Judaism separate from his connection to Alexa. It's unusual to see Jewishness represented at all on dating shows, much less an interfaith experience with a non-Jewish partner diving so fully into Jewishness.

[nomodrama]

Nancy and Bartise's wedding was 100% predictable. And frankly I don't feel bad at all that Nancy's family decided to confront Bartise on the spot the way they did. I think the brother was actually pretty tame all things considered. They haven't even watched the show but I imagine their rage when they see the way that Bartise had been treating Nancy and that he told her he wasn't attracted to her physically weeks before the wedding. 

Brennon's vows were the best I've heard on this show so far, he's a good one. I am glad that he and Alexa were this season's success story and I hope that they last. 

Zanab is a shifty one. Standing there spouting all these lovely things just waiting for the right moment to tear Cole down in front of everyone. She thought he needed to be told some things she should have waited to do it in private...it honestly looked really vindictive and gross. It wouldn't surprise me if she had been holding on to this from the moment that he told her she was a 9 and ranked Colleen higher than her. 

Speaking of Colleen - I stand by the fact that I think Colleen would have said yes to ANYONE in the pods. She just wanted to get a proposal. I don't even know if its acting of if she is truly that desperate. I just feel sorry for her that it lead her into a relationship that might genuinely not be safe for her.  Both their families were adorable in their emotional and enthusiastic reactions. 

[violet and green]

I had noted Zanab was sour and vindictive from the morning after their first night together on the couples retreat, but I hadn't expected that. Woman has a whole story going on in her head at all times that bears only passing resemblance to reality.

[HerkyJerky]

Of all the 5 pastors/rabbi, my favorite was Cole & Zanab’s. The WTF look he gave Cole after Zanab was done tearing Cole a new one was priceless!

[Ms Blue Jay]

They shouldn't have been hiring ministers hotter than the husbands.  LOL.  Like Matt and Colleen's was, I think it was.  If I was her I would definitely have second or third thoughts.

[Irlandesa]

3 hours ago, violet and green said:

I had noted Zanab was sour and vindictive from the morning after their first night together on the couples retreat, but I hadn't expected that. Woman has a whole story going on in her head at all times that bears only passing resemblance to reality.

Yeah.  I did not believe her that she didn't know what she was going to do until she got to the altar.  That speech was too focused.  Plus, I thought she looked like she was riding righteous adrenaline since the minute she arrived.  It'd be like saying Brennan just "winged it" at the altar. 

[Racj82]

I don't like the way Zanab handled the rejection but the look the pastor gave Cole is one of the funniest things I've ever scene. I know reality tv can be edited and pushed to make narratives. It's almost never 100 percent real. But, that look was straight out of a sitcom and not real life.

He had a look like "Chicks. What can you do man?"

Edited November 10, 2022 by Racj82

[ExMathMajor]

17 hours ago, nomodrama said:

Nancy and Bartise's wedding was 100% predictable. And frankly I don't feel bad at all that Nancy's family decided to confront Bartise on the spot the way they did. I think the brother was actually pretty tame all things considered. They haven't even watched the show but I imagine their rage when they see the way that Bartise had been treating Nancy and that he told her he wasn't attracted to her physically weeks before the wedding. 

Brennon's vows were the best I've heard on this show so far, he's a good one. I am glad that he and Alexa were this season's success story and I hope that they last. 

Zanab is a shifty one. Standing there spouting all these lovely things just waiting for the right moment to tear Cole down in front of everyone. She thought he needed to be told some things she should have waited to do it in private...it honestly looked really vindictive and gross. It wouldn't surprise me if she had been holding on to this from the moment that he told her she was a 9 and ranked Colleen higher than her. 

Speaking of Colleen - I stand by the fact that I think Colleen would have said yes to ANYONE in the pods. She just wanted to get a proposal. I don't even know if its acting of if she is truly that desperate. I just feel sorry for her that it lead her into a relationship that might genuinely not be safe for her.  Both their families were adorable in their emotional and enthusiastic reactions. 

I agree with all of this...

I realize a literal beatdown probably wouldn't have been cool, but I would have been fine with a few extra minutes of verbal beatdown from Nancy's brother and mother.

I have yet to perfect the art of watching TV while crocheting. Brennan's vows made me look up from my work.

I was really trying hard to be on Zanab's side even though it was clear that she had a LOT of issues. That scene at the altar pretty much killed whatever sympathy I had left for her. It was completely unnecessary. (Not that I'm a Cole fan; he's one more overgrown boy who doesn't need to be in any serious relationship for a few years yet.)

Since Colleen ignored my (and, I suspect, most sensible viewers') calls to RUN!, I hope Matt's in therapy so that he can be the husband she deserves. Barring that, I hope she finds enough self-esteem to leave if and when it becomes necessary.

[EdnasEdibles]

I think with Nancy, there's something about her that does seem kind of fragile as far as Bartisse goes? I mean, this woman is smart and capable but simply sat there while he went on and on about how another woman is hotter and then when he was like "I mean, is it OK that I was this honest?" just sadly nodded instead of saying "WTF?" so based on that and the fact that she was going to marry this toolbag, I can see where her family likely knows how she is and wanted to protect her. I mean, this is her mom. Her mom who has likely seen her cry about boys throughout the year and felt like she needed to help Nancy the way she did back when Nancy was in high school. Like mom was probably like "I'm not going anywhere, this girl will take that d-bag back!"

So likely past history and their knowledge of how Nancy is was driving some of that behavior. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

Oh I think her family was totally fine.  I don't understand what Nancy saw in Bartise.  She can do way better.  He seemed to bring only negatives and no positives.  

[kittle1974]

I have a feeling we will be seeing Matt again… on an episode of Dateline. Colleen is nuts for hitching her wagon to that star. If I were her, I’d be sleeping with one eye open. 

[jabRI]

Did anyone else catch Matt's friend saying he didn't think he was ready to get married? Interesting

[crimson23]

7 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Oh I think her family was totally fine.  I don't understand what Nancy saw in Bartise.  She can do way better.  He seemed to bring only negatives and no positives.  

He is a kid...the whole deal about how people are so attracted to him.  what? between the lack of socks and the stupid hair, I can't see it.  He is too full of himself to notice anyone else.  Looks are everything to him. 

[Lindz]

Talk about NASTY! What a cruel blindside! It reads vengeful. That was terrible. To just switch like that is terrifying. She said she'd tell him if it was a no. WTF?!! If he was all those things, why go that long?!! Poor baby is wrecked.

[Lindz]

I can't believe they started with 2 nos. Not a good start, but didn't give anything away, I guess. I knew Bartise was going to say no when I saw her brother. I remembered him from the beginning of 1st episode. An accurate clip, whoda thunk? WHERE'D they get those clips making it look like someone said no from the 2 couples that did marry?!?!! Straight up trickery!!!! I thought Cole & Zan were gunna get married since they didn't show any apparent fallout. Dammit. It was surprising how misleading Bartise was: telling a guy to make a speech at the reception, sending her a shot saying they got this, crying over her care package gift... Like. WHY?!! I'm also surprised she decided to hear him out. These weddings are so trippy. They go against weddings. You don't know if someone will say, "I don't." So stressful! Do guests waste all that time only to leave with NOTHING if they don't get married??? 🤣🤣

[nlkm9]

On 11/10/2022 at 11:53 AM, ExMathMajor said:

I agree with all of this...

I realize a literal beatdown probably wouldn't have been cool, but I would have been fine with a few extra minutes of verbal beatdown from Nancy's brother and mother.

I have yet to perfect the art of watching TV while crocheting. Brennan's vows made me look up from my work.

I was really trying hard to be on Zanab's side even though it was clear that she had a LOT of issues. That scene at the altar pretty much killed whatever sympathy I had left for her. It was completely unnecessary. (Not that I'm a Cole fan; he's one more overgrown boy who doesn't need to be in any serious relationship for a few years yet.)

Since Colleen ignored my (and, I suspect, most sensible viewers') calls to RUN!, I hope Matt's in therapy so that he can be the husband she deserves. Barring that, I hope she finds enough self-esteem to leave if and when it becomes necessary.

honestly, im still rolling my eyes over Bartises sister crying about the abortion thing. no matter where you stand on the issue, it was NOT an appropriate thing to be brought up and I knew it was doomed at that point. and for Bartise to say "looks matter" what an ass. then why the hell did you go on a show called love is blind???????

Zanab is a sour unhappy person and Im sad for her that her parents are gone but she is going to expect sympathy and pity forever.

Cole is a jerk but after that, I think she is fsr worse. and I still wonder if Cole would have said yes....I dont think looks wise he was attraced to her.

[LilDumplin]

Does anyone know where this wedding venue was in Dallas? I kept thinking it looked like Southfork, and if so, it aged really well…

[Alexander Pope]

On 11/9/2022 at 9:42 AM, Empress1 said:

It did seem like she enjoyed it, and/or like she was milking the moment for TV.

It was the ultimate mike-drop for her.  She will never EVER lose an an argument and she held on to every argument they had and won them all at the altar.  Not a good look.

As others have said, Zanab also holds on very hard to her loss.  After the dancing lesson with Cole, when they actually seemed to have been enjoying each other, he says how much fun it was and she says, I am so sad I can't have a father/daughter dance.  When she chose her dress, she cried that her mother wasn't there.  The two empty seats at the wedding were the final touch. It's like she can't ever allow herself to move on and experience joy in the present.  I have renewed respect for her stepmother's (aunt's?) patience, grace, and obvious love of Zanab.  I find myself wondering if Zanab's refusal to let go of her childhood loss, devastating as it was, isn't connected to her refusal to let go of any perceived slight.  It must be.

Edited November 30, 2022 by Alexander Pope