S05.E02: Scenes from Two Marriages: The Parrot Doth Protest Too Much

[DanaK]

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WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 28

8:00-8:30 pm

Jackie moves in with Neville and discovers that being newlyweds produces new problems when Neville shows up to their home with an excess of animals from his vet office. Meanwhile, Darlene and Ben have an argument as Ben points out Darlene is turning into her father.

[ams1001]

"Is someone moving out? Let me help!"

Why would Jackie be allowed to keep her service taser? Does the Lanford police department not make sure all weapons have been returned when someone leaves?

So Neville treats everything from farm animals to reptiles to waterfowl and exotic birds..? And why is he keeping a pig and a goat in tiny pens on a hard floor with nothing else in them?

14 shots in an hour? And he's still standing?

Okay, I'm mostly a homebody (and that Shakespeare thing doesn't sound like my idea of fun, either) but geez, Darlene is a buzzkill. Even I'll go out for dinner and a movie once in a while.

Okay, the ferret is cute.

"I had to help give a duck a suppository and this was worse!"

[Annber03]

"I'd light a scented candle, but I think there's already too much methane in here."

That line and Becky's "This is like living in a See-and-Say!" made me laugh. As did Jackie's "'Interesting' is a puppy. This is a documentary that ends with the neighbors saying, 'Well, we saw that coming...'". I am glad that she and Neville managed to sort out the animal situation, 'cause yeah, that would be a lot to deal with.

As for Darlene and Ben, y'know, I'm a total homebody, too, like Darlene, but if I had a boyfriend or husband who wanted to go to a fancy restaurant every so often, or go to a movie that's a little different from the usual fare, or whatever, I'd be up for that in a heartbeat. I like that Dan put things into perspective for her in that regard. Hopefully sometime we can see him and Louise out at one of those fun events. 

[UYI]

If I were Jackie, I wouldn't want all those animals around, either, but the parrot was hilarious!

After so much doom and gloom over the years, I appreciate seeing these two couples just try to get used to each other now that they're married, even if some of their stories are quite stupid. 

And yes, I'm aware how backhanded that sounds. ;) 

[Bastet]

I forgot to tune in until five minutes in, so missed the opening segment.

"Absolutely not, every one of those words sounds awful" is something I'm going to steal when I don't want to do something that has just been suggested.  But Ben and Darlene are inventing a problem; she needs to sometimes suck it up and give these things a try, and he needs to sometimes just go do these things that interest him but not her by himself (like the tag, where everybody but Dan and Darlene went to that wacky show).  Easy.

He was totally out of line not telling her the play involved audience participation; she is tied with me as the last person in the world who'd actually do such a thing, and it's not fair to subject her to that.  Also, way to shoot yourself in the foot, Ben, because now she'll think all your ideas are just as stupid.

Darlene realizing she's becoming Dan and their talk about needing a push to get out of the house was good, though.

And Jackie and Neville are just now living together, but surely she has spent plenty of nights at his house to know he doesn't normally bring animals home (or at least not a zoo's worth), so she should have been suspicious of his story for why he did it.  Contrived, but I guess worth it for "This is a documentary that ends with the neighbors saying, 'Well, we saw that coming.'"

I was wondering how Neville could reach this age without knowing silence isn't inherently a problem, but he said he's never lived with anyone, so maybe that's it.

I still don't care about them as a couple, but I haven't hated their relationship in quite a while, so I think I could wind up being happy for Jackie.

Becky didn't have much to do this episode, but her lines were great.

[SHD]

This is the most toned down performance from Laurie Metcalf in awhile. I enjoy her much more this way than when she’s playing every line like she’s trying to project to the back row of a theater.

Some good lines tonight. And the show works better for me when episodes don’t try to cram every character in for a line or two just so everyone is seen.

[Irate Panda]

This was one of the better episode in that Jackie wasn’t a lunatic and the episode primarily focused on 4 people instead of 84 people.  The bad thing was Darlene was one of the four people focused on.  She is miserable, but hopefully the talk with Dan means a change is coming up for her.  I’m still clueless as to why anyone is attracted to her, she seems completely miserable 99.5% of the time.  

[chitowngirl]

How does Neville bring all those animals to and from work everyday?

[iMonrey]

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So Neville treats everything from farm animals to reptiles to waterfowl and exotic birds..? And why is he keeping a pig and a goat in tiny pens on a hard floor with nothing else in them?

If this show were funnier and better written I'd be more willing to hand-wave this kind of stuff. But it's absurd to think Neville treats that many different kinds of animals. Most vets do not treat exotic birds, for example. You really have to go to a specialist in ornithology and they'd most likely ONLY treat birds. And yeah, the goat and the pig in little pens with nothing else? WTF. If he'd had several dogs and cats that would have been more realistic and made the same point but once again they had to go "wacky" with it, plausibility be damned.

Also? A huge miss here by not referring back to the time Jackie played Juliet at the local community theater. I was sure that would come up but no. Once again it seems like the writers never watched the original show.

[LavenderSunset]

Did anyone else notice the piece of popcorn in Dan's lap when he was giving Darleen advice?  It kept appearing and disappearing. Oops.

[mythoughtis]

11 hours ago, SHD said:

This is the most toned down performance from Laurie Metcalf in awhile. I enjoy her much more this way than when she’s playing every line like she’s trying to project to the back row of a theater.

Some good lines tonight. And the show works better for me when episodes don’t try to cram every character in for a line or two just so everyone is seen.

I agree- but I still did not enjoy the Animal Farm.   I  couldn't figure out why so much of Jackie’s  stuff was at Dan’s.  She’s had her own apartment for the entire run of the Connor’s reboot.  Where Bev supposedly still is since they haven’t  mentioned  her moving into assisted living or dying. Nor has Darlene mentioned being her POA. 
 

[DoubleUTeeEff]

I liked that Neville was reading Jackie's book at the end.

[rmontro]

19 hours ago, Annber03 said:

That line and Becky's "This is like living in a See-and-Say!" made me laugh.

I liked the See-and-Say line too, nice to know someone else did.  I thought maybe it was just nostalgia.

16 hours ago, Bastet said:

she is tied with me as the last person in the world who'd actually do such a thing, and it's not fair to subject her to that. 

I think it was asinine of the actor to choose Darlene out of the crowd when she clearly did not want to do it.  She was practically hiding under her chair. 

[marceline]

I just couldn't couldn't stop thinking about the smell in Neville's house. That pig in a tiny cage on Neville's wood/laminate floor made me want to scream for a million different reason. The refusal to acknowledge Jackie's previous marriage and child doesn't work for me. Especially with all the talk about Roseanne and the cow creamer. 

Darlene is a pain in the ass and I don't know what anybody sees in her. I truly don't understand why Ben and Darlene got married. They don't seem like they're on the same page. They don't even seem like they read the same book.

Louise needs to show up. I'm all for giving Katey Segal flexibility but her absence is obvious and detrimental to the show. Dan, Jackie, and Darlene are all newlyweds. That storyline seems to write itself.

3 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Also? A huge miss here by not referring back to the time Jackie played Juliet at the local community theater. I was sure that would come up but no. Once again it seems like the writers never watched the original show.

I'd completely forgotten about that. You're absolutely right.

Edited September 29, 2022 by marceline

[iMonrey]

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I  couldn't figure out why so much of Jackie’s  stuff was at Dan’s.  She’s had her own apartment for the entire run of the Connor’s reboot.  Where Bev supposedly still is since they haven’t  mentioned  her moving into assisted living or dying.

In this episode Jackie mentioned something about "when my mother comes to visit" (I think it was about the taser). So apparently she wasn't living with her anymore.

[Browncoat]

4 hours ago, iMonrey said:

If this show were funnier and better written I'd be more willing to hand-wave this kind of stuff. But it's absurd to think Neville treats that many different kinds of animals. Most vets do not treat exotic birds, for example. You really have to go to a specialist in ornithology and they'd most likely ONLY treat birds. And yeah, the goat and the pig in little pens with nothing else? WTF. If he'd had several dogs and cats that would have been more realistic and made the same point but once again they had to go "wacky" with it, plausibility be damned.

Also? A huge miss here by not referring back to the time Jackie played Juliet at the local community theater. I was sure that would come up but no. Once again it seems like the writers never watched the original show.

Once upon a time, many years ago, I worked at a Vet School.  While Avian Medicine and Exotics were not required courses, a lot of people took them, and there are local vets who do see all those types of animals.  Sure, most concentrate on either cats & dogs or farm animals, but there are enough who take all the electives and can take care of all the animals.

I thought Jackie played Roxanne?  Y'know, as the understudy after her "tureen of beef"?  Or did she also play Juliet and I've forgotten?

[Bastet]

21 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

I thought Jackie played Roxanne?  Y'know, as the understudy after her "tureen of beef"?  Or did she also play Juliet and I've forgotten?

Correct -- the only play we ever saw her perform was Cyrano de Bergerac, with her one-line "tureen of beef" performance and then having to step in as Roxane (only she hadn't bothered to read the play, since the lead never gets sick).  It's possible there was later a verbal reference to her playing Juliet we've both forgotten, but I don't think so -- I don't think she ever played a lead role again and drifted away from the community theatre not long after.

Edited September 29, 2022 by Bastet

[ItCouldBeWorse]

20 hours ago, Bastet said:

I still don't care about them as a couple, but I haven't hated their relationship in quite a while, so I think I could wind up being happy for Jackie.

4 hours ago, DoubleUTeeEff said:

I liked that Neville was reading Jackie's book at the end.

He seems to truly love her (and her family), and I thought it was sweet that he was reading her awful book.

10 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

How does Neville bring all those animals to and from work everyday?

Jackie mentioned a vet tech who was supposed to come over and clean up, so maybe that person helps with the transportation. 

7 hours ago, iMonrey said:

And yeah, the goat and the pig in little pens with nothing else?

I would think the pig would be pretty miserable cooped up with nothing to do/roll in.  At least the goat was sometimes able to roam and poop wherever.

[Wizardpatch]

Didn't Darlene like "artsy fartsy" stuff? She did go to school to be a writer after all and surely she must have had some reason for spending so much time with intellectual wannabe David. 

I also wish they had cast someone closer to Laurie Metcalf's age for Neville. Aren't they only supposed to be like 10 years apart? The actors are over 20 years apart and Faxon looks even younger than his age.

[emmyG]

Darlene liked books and art and vampires and comics and games and weird rock music, it was part of why she was such a popular breakout character back in the day, she was the girlfriend every mildly-antisocial geek wanted. 

She would still never have wanted to take part in any sort of participatory theater though, and Romeo+Juliet would have always been too boring and mainstream for her tastes. Romeo+Juliet+Zombies would have been more her style.

[UYI]

7 hours ago, Wizardpatch said:

I also wish they had cast someone closer to Laurie Metcalf's age for Neville. Aren't they only supposed to be like 10 years apart? The actors are over 20 years apart and Faxon looks even younger than his age.

I actually like the idea that she wound up with a younger man. Gives me some hope. (I say at 33. :P)

[iMonrey]

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I thought Jackie played Roxanne? 

Oh, you're right - I stand corrected. Still, it was an opportunity for Jackie to talk about her own experience in community theater - and if it's still Lanford I have to imagine it's the same theater. I mean there can't be more than one in Lanford, right? 

[Wizardpatch]

2 hours ago, emmyG said:

Darlene liked books and art and vampires and comics and games and weird rock music, it was part of why she was such a popular breakout character back in the day, she was the girlfriend every mildly-antisocial geek wanted. 

She would still never have wanted to take part in any sort of participatory theater though, and Romeo+Juliet would have always been too boring and mainstream for her tastes. Romeo+Juliet+Zombies would have been more her style.

Yes the participatory theater thing was lame, but Darlene seemed outraged that her husband wanted to go out and even see a movie (I doubt it was going to be Fast and the Furious 18 or similar). 

[emmyG]

it sort of gives the impression that she's regressed back to the full depression stage before she met David, where she just wanted to lie on the couch and do nothing forever.

Which is a pretty bad place to be for a newlywed.

Edited September 30, 2022 by emmyG

[marceline]

17 hours ago, Wizardpatch said:

Yes the participatory theater thing was lame, but Darlene seemed outraged that her husband wanted to go out and even see a movie (I doubt it was going to be Fast and the Furious 18 or similar). 

This version of Darlene seems to have nothing in common with the original one. It's the same way I feel about Jackie. That's what I find so frustrating about this show. I don't recognize these characters. 

Edited October 1, 2022 by marceline

[iMonrey]

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it sort of gives the impression that she's regressed back to the full depression stage before she met David, where she just wanted to lie on the couch and do nothing forever.

Actually the point they were trying to make was that she was just like Dan. This, despite the fact that we've seen no evidence of this, ever, prior to this episode. It's just some weird plot point the writers pulled out of their asses for the sake of lazy storytelling. Conflict! Ben wants to go out and do stuff, Darlene doesn't! It could have just as easily been the other way around. I mean - they may be newly married but it's not as if they just met, or that marriage itself fundamentally changed who they are. If Darlene has always been a homebody and Ben has always been a get-up-and-go type, they would have already know that about each other. This episode made it seem like they never realized it before.

[StaceyNotStacie]

They should have shown Darlene and Dan watching Bonanza. It would have been a great callback to when Becky got upset with OG Mark when he got the job offer in Minnesota. 

[Bastet]

It would have made more sense to relate Darlene's reluctance to go out to her having anxiety -- have Ben be bewildered that she said no to everything, not just shit like that theatre troupe, and then address that even something she might otherwise enjoy can feel like an unbearable chore on a bad anxiety day.

[juliet73]

This show is such a dumpster fire! 

Jackie and Neville have been together for quite some time so I find it strange that she didn't realize he cares for some pets once in a while at home.  

I really want Louise to be around more.  I think it's time to have some Dan/Louise storylines instead of Darlene week after week after week after week....

Thinking of Darlene, I really don't know what anyone sees in her, let alone a man.  She is one of the most unlikable characters on TV.  She's a total stick in the mud and has the personality of a wet noodle.  She literally sucks all the energy from the room as soon as she walks in and/or speaks.  I feel like Sara Gilbert has no chemistry whatsoever with any of the other actors so that's not helping her character either.  

[Fostersmom]

On 9/29/2022 at 12:44 PM, LavenderSunset said:

Did anyone else notice the piece of popcorn in Dan's lap when he was giving Darleen advice?  It kept appearing and disappearing. Oops.

I didn't notice the popcorn, but I did notice John Goodman's hand shaking in the opening kitchen scene where he was leaned up against the counter with. sandwich in his hand. One shot was a close up of the sandwich and it was shaking quite a bit. I hope he's okay. 

[Jillybean]

15 hours ago, Fostersmom said:

I didn't notice the popcorn, but I did notice John Goodman's hand shaking in the opening kitchen scene where he was leaned up against the counter with. sandwich in his hand. One shot was a close up of the sandwich and it was shaking quite a bit. I hope he's okay. 

I was too distracted by his new hair color to notice anything else. Yikes. 

On a completely unrelated note, I have no idea why Louise married Dan. She could do a lot better.

[wendyg]

John Goodman's pronounced ill-fitting dentures sound has been bugging me; I would assume the actor can afford good ones. Then it occurred to me maybe it's meant to be a character thing, because Dan certainly can't afford anything. A friend of mine who was broke most of his life had a similar problem and never got it fixed even though by then he could have afforded to.

[CrystalBlue]

3 hours ago, wendyg said:

John Goodman's pronounced ill-fitting dentures sound has been bugging me; I would assume the actor can afford good ones. Then it occurred to me maybe it's meant to be a character thing, because Dan certainly can't afford anything. A friend of mine who was broke most of his life had a similar problem and never got it fixed even though by then he could have afforded to.

Playing true to character!  The new, dismally-belated intro has Dan grabbing a beer from the fridge.  Maybe the shaking hands is a part of his alcoholic withdrawal til his next fix beer.

[Irate Panda]

On 10/2/2022 at 4:01 PM, wendyg said:

John Goodman's pronounced ill-fitting dentures sound has been bugging me; I would assume the actor can afford good ones. Then it occurred to me maybe it's meant to be a character thing, because Dan certainly can't afford anything. A friend of mine who was broke most of his life had a similar problem and never got it fixed even though by then he could have afforded to.

THANK YOU!!! I’ve been wondering about this for months!

[wendyg]

The other possibility that occurs to me is that Goodman's weight loss has changed the contours of his mouth and his old dentures don't fit right any more.