S15.E08: Party Ways

[Mr. Miner]

19 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I think Krysten is determined that come hell or high water, she’s going to make this work

The soiled, disgusting and repurposed trail mix pouch as a gift would have been the deal breaker for me. You know what I'm sayin'?

[Coltee Gal]

Alexis's makeup does not look good on camera AT ALL. It looks like her skin is suffocating under all that heavy makeup.  

[kristen111]

22 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Lindy is a child married to an adult.  I agree that going to school is easy, when you're really smart, but work can be hard once you graduate into adulthood with a job, insurance and a 401k plan.

She might not really like the profession she worked so hard for.  My friends daughter went to school and became a pharmacist.  Never worked a day.  Got married and became a realtor!

Expecting Miguel to pick up her slack could come back and bite her in the butt!

I don’t get it.  One minute Miguel was adamant about decision day, now he’s talking getting insurance for her.  He’s decided to stay with her already?  Why all of a sudden?  He has time yet .. why the rush?  She gave him a speech about needing insurance, so he’s complying?  He’s got time yet.

[buttersister]

I think Miguel figured she'd never let up on that insurance. Some paperwork now and a bit later takes it off the table for 7 weeks and I'm left wondering if they cut a deal. Not having health insurance is a BFD. Lindy tried the route of batting eyelashes and saying you big strong fella wanna take care of me, don't you? and when that didn't work, I wonder if she just agreed to pay the extra premium.

She still doesn't need to take his name.

eta: When I heard that crack about not liking this version of her, I thought, well, he's saying it aloud at least. But saying he was feeling uncomfortable with what she was doing might have been a better way of putting it. You know, Miguel, not making you sound like an a-hole.

Edited August 26, 2022 by buttersister

[kristen111]

On 8/25/2022 at 2:26 AM, Racj82 said:

I'm glad someone else is saying it. Initially I heard a bunch of people dumping on Miguel for making it clear he didn't want to pay for her debt and him being weary of dedication to it getting paid off.

She is far too young to be living her life like she's done all the hard work and now she can relax. I can understand a grace period after all that school but she needs to buckle down. She is just getting started.

He went down on her. He said nothing about reciprocation. Not that she has to but it seems like that's all there was.

Allrighty then.  I thought THAT was a little more personal than the other.  I’ve never heard THAT talked about so flippantly.  So why is she holding out on the other?  She wants to be in love completely?  He doesn’t appear too happy these days.

[Boo Boo]

Hey Lindy, get your own goddamned insurance.  You're an adult with a job.  And a doctorate.  If you don't have insurance and you work in health care, your priorities in life are clearly not right.  Work more, get insurance. 

He doesn't owe you insurance at this stage of your relationship.    

I find her to be one of the most irritating MAFer of all time.  Her voice, her reactions, her constant talk.  SHUT UP.

Edited August 26, 2022 by Boo Boo

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I think she’d just finished school. She was also around 26-ish, IIRC, so she might have just gotten kicked off her parents’ insurance. (She was pretty awful.)

She was studying to be a counselor/therapist but I'm not sure if she was getting degrees in psychology or social work or what discipline.

Quote

Just thinking out loud here…Doing a jello shot out of a hard, stainless steel vessel can’t be easy. Part of the Jell-O shot process is squeezing the little plastic cup and slurping out the jello…how does that even work with stainless steel? I would think it would set in the cup and would stick to the sides, making it impossible to remove without being able to squeeze the cup to separate the jello from the sides. Do you need to make the jello separately, slice it up then put little cubes it into the cups? What a pain in the neck. Some situations just don’t have a comparable sustainable product substitute. I think jello shots is one of them. Poor Krysten. 

Krysten said they had been sitting out a bit and had gotten sort of liquid-y.

Quote

Was Krysten serious in her response to Mitch calling her groomless wedding weird? 🤔 IT IS WEIRD!!! 🤨 A wedding is for two people to WED! She is bad with words. If she would've said her deposits were non-refundable so they decided to have a party instead, maybe he wouldn't have called it weird.

I don't think Krysten had a "wedding." I doubt she wore her dress. I think she just couldn't get any of her money back so they went on the trip and had a party and did all the activities but they didn't have a ceremony without a groom...

[Ilovepie]

On 8/25/2022 at 8:08 AM, brilliantbreakfast said:

She could get an ACA policy, and if she makes little enough she can get a subsidy for the premium. California probably has a state exchange which would be better than where I live, which has none. Before I was eligible for Medicare, I was paying over $700/month in premiums with a $7000 deductible.

California sure does have a plan called Covered California, and depending on her income level, she may owe a penalty for not having insurance. It boggles my mind that this grown ass woman thinks it's her stranger husband's responsibility after knowing each other for only two weeks.

[pdlinda]

16 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

It boggles my mind that this grown ass woman thinks it's her stranger husband's responsibility after knowing each other for only two weeks.

I'm with you on that one! 

I sensed that when Lindy was discussing her "working lifestyle" she made special mention of her "leisure time" priority.   

She doesn't seem to be a "detail-oriented person", so, perhaps she took for granted that whomever they chose for her to marry would quickly bond with her and provide attention to those aspects of her life.

The fact that Miguel acceded to her request gave me pause.

[Ilovepie]

29 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

The fact that Miguel acceded to her request gave me pause.

I was shocked that he gave in after saying on camera that he was not going to be anyone's sugar daddy. Adding a dependent to your insurance is definitely going to come with added cost, and unless she is paying for the extra premium cost, he is definitely funding her life in some capacity.

[evansmom10]

16 hours ago, Alexander Pope said:

I agree that Lindy was acting entitled and overly demanding by insisting Miguel put her on his insurance--but let's not forget that she was reacting to his insistence that she give up her name, and I don't think that was fair of him (I get where Kirsten was coming from but taking a name or not is a matter of choice, the insurance thing is a different kind of issue).  I found his calm response to her being upset unsettling rather than impressive.  He kept saying, both during the fight and when they made up after, "I don't like this version of you."  Dude--screw you! that is so patronizing and withholding.  If my husband said that to me when we fought, I would get even more enraged!! Is it her job only to please him? She was right to say that they each had sides the other wouldn't like.  He is far from perfect and he can be a real cold fish.

I HATED Miguel's reaction, it ran a chill down my spine. What a controlling thing to say. And this isn't the 1950's-the name thing is so antiquated. 

[kristen111]

16 hours ago, Alexander Pope said:

I agree that Lindy was acting entitled and overly demanding by insisting Miguel put her on his insurance--but let's not forget that she was reacting to his insistence that she give up her name, and I don't think that was fair of him (I get where Kirsten was coming from but taking a name or not is a matter of choice, the insurance thing is a different kind of issue).  I found his calm response to her being upset unsettling rather than impressive.  He kept saying, both during the fight and when they made up after, "I don't like this version of you."  Dude--screw you! that is so patronizing and withholding.  If my husband said that to me when we fought, I would get even more enraged!! Is it her job only to please him? She was right to say that they each had sides the other wouldn't like.  He is far from perfect and he can be a real cold fish.

After seeing these asshole husbands, I realize what I have.  In all the years married, he never spoke to me like these jerks.  But then again, I don’t give him a hard time with anything either.  Maybe because we picked each other, not went in blind like these fools.

[Boo Boo]

17 hours ago, Alexander Pope said:

I agree that Lindy was acting entitled and overly demanding by insisting Miguel put her on his insurance--but let's not forget that she was reacting to his insistence that she give up her name, and I don't think that was fair of him (I get where Kirsten was coming from but taking a name or not is a matter of choice, the insurance thing is a different kind of issue).  I found his calm response to her being upset unsettling rather than impressive.  He kept saying, both during the fight and when they made up after, "I don't like this version of you."  Dude--screw you! that is so patronizing and withholding.  If my husband said that to me when we fought, I would get even more enraged!! Is it her job only to please him? She was right to say that they each had sides the other wouldn't like.  He is far from perfect and he can be a real cold fish.

He's no prize for sure, but I don't like any version of Lindy.  Her manner of speaking alone is enough to make me not like her!

Edited August 26, 2022 by Boo Boo

[kristen111]

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

California sure does have a plan called Covered California, and depending on her income level, she may owe a penalty for not having insurance. It boggles my mind that this grown ass woman thinks it's her stranger husband's responsibility after knowing each other for only two weeks.

Two weeks in?  How does she know he will say “stay” on Decision Day?  In the remaining weeks, he might want to split at the rate she is going.  She’s getting pretty demanding for two weeks in.  She’s pushey and very sure of herself.

[gwen747]

On 8/24/2022 at 5:53 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

For someone who doesn’t like to argue, Alexis sure argues a lot. Justin too.

Alexis is a spoiled brat. My guess is she's been babied and coddled by her mom and older sisters. It's exhausting.

[gwen747]

On 8/24/2022 at 8:39 PM, Chalby said:

Alexis is extremely annoying. When her and Justin bicker, I'm yelling "Shut up" at the tv. She complains that he doesn't communicate, but to her communication means agreeing with her or repeating what she just said. She is not interested in what someone else's definition of communication is.

All of this...100%. The more I watch of her, the more obnoxious she becomes.

Lindy is just as annoying too. No, you moron... it's not just "a phone call" to add a spouse onto your insurance. At my company, adding a husband or wife increases premiums by approximately $250. 

[Lindz]

WHERE was Nate's blonde friend???? 🤣🤣

[Lindz]

Why couldn't Binh say what happened on the honeymoon in front of everyone? Why was Morgan interrupting like that? Made is worse! YIKES! 😬😬

[Chalby]

9 hours ago, gwen747 said:

Lindy is just as annoying too. No, you moron... it's not just "a phone call" to add a spouse onto your insurance. At my company, adding a husband or wife increases premiums by approximately $250. 

The whole point of this experience is to recognize the marriage is legal, and to proceed accordingly. If he has to pay medical premiums for 8 weeks, then discontinue... It's not that difficult. She can pay the $$ difference.

Edited August 27, 2022 by Chalby

[StatisticalOutlier]

18 hours ago, evansmom10 said:

And this isn't the 1950's-the name thing is so antiquated. 

Something like 70 or 80% of American women change their names when they get married these days.  That kind of surprises me, but it really is easier to navigate pretty much everything if everybody in the family has the same name. 

I would never change my name (and it's Smith!), but I understand why people do, especially if they have kids.  What bugs is that it's almost always the woman who changes her name.  Why?  If it's just smooth navigation, then it doesn't matter which name you use, as long as it's consistent.  Yet it's almost always the woman who makes the change.

My problem with the Lindy situation is that Miguel's insistence was smelling of patriarchy to me.  He's obviously not looking only at smooth navigation, or he could have offered to change his name, and I don't get the feeling it was something the editors chose not to show us.

And Stacia.  If she didn't like her name, she could have changed it to something she does like.  And then changed it again when she got married, if she wanted her family to all have the same name.  But it seems crazy to me, and not empowered at all, to keep a name you don't like for 37 years, and then marry some rando on a reality TV show and immediately take his name. 

In other name news...I have a friend who went to law school with a guy named John Moneymaker.  Or, well, it wasn't John Moneymaker when he got out of law school, because he changed it.  I wish I could remember what he changed his name to so I could look up to see what kind of law he practices.  It was probably a good idea to move away from Moneymaker if he's practicing elder law, for example, but if he's doing personal injury, he might should have kept it.  He could put it on billboards advertising his ambulance chasing, and not have to adopt a nickname like "The Enforcer."

[Jax7917]

23 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Hey Lindy, get your own goddamned insurance.  You're an adult with a job.  And a doctorate.  If you don't have insurance and you work in health care, your priorities in life are clearly not right.  Work more, get insurance. 

He doesn't owe you insurance at this stage of your relationship.    

I find her to be one of the most irritating MAFer of all time.  Her voice, her reactions, her constant talk.  SHUT UP.

Omg her voice and reactions are sooo annoying I find it hard to understand how he’s attracted to her . She’s a cute girl but her voice and way of speaking would be such a turn off to me . 
 

soooo did she just get married to be under her partners health insurance ? Because that’s what it seems like . What would she have done otherwise ? 

[Jax7917]

I was trying to think of who Krysten reminded me of and I think I got it . Her face and her voice reminds me of Sasha Alexander during the dawson creek days at least . 
I find her to be the most likable person this season and I think she got dealt a bad hand with a partner but I do think she’s the type of person who is right for this show . She’s open - minded and has a positive attitude . 

[pdlinda]

7 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

I was trying to think of who Krysten reminded me of and I think I got it . Her face and her voice reminds me of Sasha Alexander during the dawson creek days at least . 
I find her to be the most likable person this season and I think she got dealt a bad hand with a partner but I do think she’s the type of person who is right for this show . She’s open - minded and has a positive attitude . 

I also find Krysten likeable and very "easy on the eyes".....she seems to possess all the attributes a prospective "normal" husband (not a neurotic fanatic like she got) would prize.

Hopefully, some high-caliber dude will see the show (or have family/friend see the show) and make contact with her on social media after the show concludes. 

No way is she going to stay "married" to Mitch REGARDLESS of how she's been "waxing euphoric" about him on these early episodes.

Edited August 27, 2022 by pdlinda

[Boo Boo]

2 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

Omg her voice and reactions are sooo annoying I find it hard to understand how he’s attracted to her . She’s a cute girl but her voice and way of speaking would be such a turn off to me . 
 

soooo did she just get married to be under her partners health insurance ? Because that’s what it seems like . What would she have done otherwise ? 

Exactly.  Her whole "you won't take care of me" like she's some fucking babe in the woods for one.  For two, if insurance is so goddamned important to you, why do you not have it? Or right because traveling is your priority.

I would dump her just b/c of that whole conversation even if she wasn't annoying AF.

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

Omg her voice and reactions are sooo annoying I find it hard to understand how he’s attracted to her . She’s a cute girl but her voice and way of speaking would be such a turn off to me . 
 

soooo did she just get married to be under her partners health insurance ? Because that’s what it seems like . What would she have done otherwise ? 

Continued to be uninsured, which is not, in my opinion, a wise idea.

[Boo Boo]

34 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Continued to be uninsured, which is not, in my opinion, a wise idea.

If I were Miguel, I'd be particularly concerned that she actually works in health care and still doesn't have insurance. If you have money to not work full time, money to travel, then you're intentionally not carrying insurance. It's not because you can't afford it.  You just consider it SOMEONE ELSE'S PRIORITY TO PAY FOR IT.

[StatisticalOutlier]

34 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Continued to be uninsured, which is not, in my opinion, a wise idea.

As someone pointed out, California is among the states that assess a penalty if you don't have health insurance.  So her insurance would be even cheaper if you take into account the penalty she wouldn't have to pay.

[qtpye]

17 hours ago, gwen747 said:

All of this...100%. The more I watch of her, the more obnoxious she becomes.

Lindy is just as annoying too. No, you moron... it's not just "a phone call" to add a spouse onto your insurance. At my company, adding a husband or wife increases premiums by approximately $250. 

On 8/26/2022 at 4:51 AM, eyelash said:

Alexis treats everyone and everything, including her dog, like staff.  We only exist to do her bidding and are expected to read her mind and know what she wants at all times, and hop to it ASAP.  She seems to thinks if she wears fashions meant for someone 10 years younger (especially if she spends a lot of money on it) she magically regains the figure of her younger years.  Constantly repeating that she was proposed to 3 times makes her feel superior to other women, much like Iris from a previous season kept wielding her virginity like a sword.

So it seems like Alexis had gone back to her place and left her "child" with Justin for 2 days. This was on the Afterparty and I heard it from this video.  Fast forward to 10:30 if you want to know the scoop. I'm sorry but you do not abandon your pet like that.

3 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

I was trying to think of who Krysten reminded me of and I think I got it . Her face and her voice reminds me of Sasha Alexander during the dawson creek days at least . 
I find her to be the most likable person this season and I think she got dealt a bad hand with a partner but I do think she’s the type of person who is right for this show . She’s open - minded and has a positive attitude . 

1 hour ago, pdlinda said:

I also find Krysten likeable and very "easy on the eyes".....she seems to possess all the attributes a prospective "normal" husband (not a neurotic fanatic like she got) would prize.

Hopefully, some high-caliber dude will see the show (or have family/friend see the show) and make connect with her on social media after the show concludes. 

No way is she going to stay "married" to Mitch REGARDLESS of how she's been "waxing euphoric" about him on these early episodes.

I hope after the divorce (my prediction is that they will not work out) she finds a good guy who watched her on the show. She seems like such a nice lady.

[pdlinda]

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

She seems to thinks if she wears fashions meant for someone 10 years younger (especially if she spends a lot of money on it) she magically regains the figure of her younger years. 

Does this lady own a MIRROR????  I wonder because wearing an outfit like she did (undergarments) to the party supply store in a public setting is just WRONG!  A person gains respect and dignity by being respectful and dignified.  

My only explanation for Alexis' fashion faux pas' is that she doesn't look at herself in the mirror. 

Also,  I saw on the Afterparty show that Justin was crying again!!!  Another example of stretching emotional reactions in the public sphere to a point of being undignified.  After he was done with his crying, however, he was quite articulate and made a lot of sense AND I also noticed a marked reduction in his use of  "y'know what I'm sayin" ?  Someone apparently called it to his attention and he was able to control his use of that sentence spacer.  GOOD FOR HIM!!!

[Racj82]

21 hours ago, Lindz said:

Why couldn't Binh say what happened on the honeymoon in front of everyone? Why was Morgan interrupting like that? Made is worse! YIKES! 😬😬

What's funny is I think Binh was trying to be respectful by not putting it all out there again and then Morgan used that to make him look even more guilty. It was an odd thing.

Edited August 28, 2022 by Racj82

[StatisticalOutlier]

35 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

 I also noticed a marked reduction in his use of  "y'know what I'm sayin" ?  Someone apparently called it to his attention and he was able to control his use of that sentence spacer.  GOOD FOR HIM!!!

I noticed that I haven't seen a single high-five from him since the wedding, when Alexis told him she didn't like high-fiving. 

[Blissfool]

On 8/25/2022 at 10:59 AM, Retired at last said:

 And Krysten is pretty cool. I didn't like her at the beginning, but now I do. 

Hi, Mitch 👋

On 8/25/2022 at 4:14 PM, Spectator said:

Just thinking out loud here…Doing a jello shot out of a hard, stainless steel vessel can’t be easy. Part of the Jell-O shot process is squeezing the little plastic cup and slurping out the jello…how does that even work with stainless steel? I would think it would set in the cup and would stick to the sides, making it impossible to remove without being able to squeeze the cup to separate the jello from the sides. Do you need to make the jello separately, slice it up then put little cubes it into the cups? What a pain in the neck. Some situations just don’t have a comparable sustainable product substitute. I think jello shots is one of them. Poor Krysten. 

Lol. Love your over-thinking. They mentioned the jello was soft because it had been sitting out awhile, so problem solved.

On 8/26/2022 at 3:42 AM, Lindz said:

Miguel & Lindy seem to have switched sides this week. She's supposedly all in, but doesn't want to changed her last name. I'm surprised she's so resistant. He's just giving it 8 weeks to see what happens, yet wants her to take his last name? ALREADY?!! HUH?!! Make it make sense!!! She should've flipped the script & asked him to change his last name. 🤣🤣 The profanity was uncalled for. He was understanding about her needing to be sure before making the change. She wasn't understanding about his insurance. Which, what was his reason? 🤔 Was he seriously tying it to her changing her last name cuz that's not cool. The way she made her healthcare his responsibility was also crazy.

Was I the only one wondering what is an L.O.A.?

It took me a while to get it!

[ECM1231]

Okay, I am just thinking out loud here but I have always wondered why for some married women it's a big deal to take their husband's name.

If the new name is a horrible one, then I can understand, I guess. If the husband wanted to take the wife's name instead, then great.

What has always confused me, though, and which no one has ever given me a logical answer to, is that one's maiden name comes from one's FATHER!!!

So, why would a newly married female care so much about dropping her maiden name to take her husband's? 

Edited August 28, 2022 by ECM1231

[Elizzikra]

46 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Okay, I am just thinking out loud here but I have always wondered why for some married women it's a big deal to take their husband's name.

If the new name is a horrible one, then I can understand, I guess. If the husband wanted to take the wife's name instead, then great.

What has always confused me, though, and which no one has ever given me a logical answer to, is that one's maiden name comes from one's FATHER!!!

So, why would a newly married female care so much about dropping her maiden name to take her husband's? 

I’m a married lady who took my husband’s name.

However… I can absolutely understand a wife’s attachment to her name. It’s HER name, not just her father’s name or her “maiden” name (I hate that phrase, BTW. I wasn’t even remotely “maidenly” ever in my life). It’s unlikely that i will live long enough to be Mrs. Married Name longer than I was Ms. Original Name. Even after six years, and my happily and willingly changing to Married Name, it still doesn’t just flow off my tongue.

[kirklandia]

My birth name was Smith -  I  did change it when I got married.  I was really happy to have a much more unusual name, but didn't realize at the time how unusual it was.

Currently, my (now ex) husband, his two siblings, and our two children are the only living people in the world with this surname! (I did not keep it in the divorce.)

[ECM1231]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I’m a married lady who took my husband’s name.

However… I can absolutely understand a wife’s attachment to her name. It’s HER name, not just her father’s name or her “maiden” name (I hate that phrase, BTW. I wasn’t even remotely “maidenly” ever in my life). It’s unlikely that i will live long enough to be Mrs. Married Name longer than I was Ms. Original Name. Even after six years, and my happily and willingly changing to Married Name, it still doesn’t just flow off my tongue.

Yes, it's HER name, as well as her father's, but again the wife ( her mother) took her husband's name and it was given to their children. That's why I could never understand feminists who made a big deal out of married women keeping their maiden name, which all began with a MAN. The mother's name was always dropped. Some couples hyphenate , which is a good compromise, I guess.

I never had an issue  taking my husband's last name. We're both Italian -American with names ending in a vowel, but my surname is way easier to pronounce. Telemarketers really butcher the pronunciation.

[Alexander Pope]

10 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Yes, it's HER name, as well as her father's, but again the wife ( her mother) took her husband's name and it was given to their children. That's why I could never understand feminists who made a big deal out of married women keeping their maiden name, which all began with a MAN. The mother's name was always dropped. Some couples hyphenate , which is a good compromise, I guess.

I never had an issue  taking my husband's last name. We're both Italian -American with names ending in a vowel, but my surname is way easier to pronounce. Telemarketers really butcher the pronunciation.

As with so many other things involving women and their lives, as long as it is a choice and not an imposition/requirement, I can see either side.  If you've been publishing for years and then get married, changing your name can make things confusing.

[Boo Boo]

I would bet that he doesn't really care all that much about the name change but knows that this is something she feels strongly about.  He also knows he doesn't feel strongly about adding a stranger he just married to his insurance plan and she's going to continue to hound him.  So he can hang the name change over her head  as a reason why he's not adding to her to his insurance yet.  I mean, she went apeshit over his comment about the 8 weeks.

[qtpye]

14 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

I would bet that he doesn't really care all that much about the name change but knows that this is something she feels strongly about.  He also knows he doesn't feel strongly about adding a stranger he just married to his insurance plan and she's going to continue to hound him.  So he can hang the name change over her head  as a reason why he's not adding to her to his insurance yet.  I mean, she went apeshit over his comment about the 8 weeks.

Yeah, Lindy feeling entitled to his health insurance after such a short time was not a good look.

Also, why does she not have health insurance if her own? I always had insurance, even as a student.

[Elizzikra]

7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Yeah, Lindy feeling entitled to his health insurance after such a short time was not a good look.

Also, why does she not have health insurance if her own? I always had insurance, even as a student.

I think she chooses not to. Or she thinks it's "too expensive" though she has a degree and the ability to earn a good salary, plus travel and take time off. 

[Boo Boo]

40 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I think she chooses not to. Or she thinks it's "too expensive" though she has a degree and the ability to earn a good salary, plus travel and take time off. 

And that's exactly why her pouting about it, then laying on the heavy guilt trip about her getting hit by some bus or whatever other bullshit she was spewing is ridiculous.  As I said before, she clearly must be able to afford it if she can afford to work when she wants, travel when she wants but she just wants to spend her money on fun things.  

[Allison1]

16 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Okay, I am just thinking out loud here but I have always wondered why for some married women it's a big deal to take their husband's name.

If the new name is a horrible one, then I can understand, I guess. If the husband wanted to take the wife's name instead, then great.

What has always confused me, though, and which no one has ever given me a logical answer to, is that one's maiden name comes from one's FATHER!!!

So, why would a newly married female care so much about dropping her maiden name to take her husband's? 

I wish I had kept my name.  I can't even say I didn't know it was an option as my sister got married a few months before I did and kept hers.  My only excuse is I was worried about the 7th graders I was teaching not understanding.  Decades - and an entirely different profession later - that seems silly!

Edited August 28, 2022 by Allison1
typo

[qtpye]

35 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

And that's exactly why her pouting about it, then laying on the heavy guilt trip about her getting hit by some bus or whatever other bullshit she was spewing is ridiculous.  As I said before, she clearly must be able to afford it if she can afford to work when she wants, travel when she wants but she just wants to spend her money on fun things.  

Yes, I did not love the guilt trip of the "You don't care if I get sick" drama.

If she voluntarily chose not to have health insurance then why is it all of a sudden a matter of life and death?

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I would bet that he doesn't really care all that much about the name change but knows that this is something she feels strongly about. 

From what she said, it doesn't sound like keeping her name is something she feels strongly about.  In fact, she said she wants to have the name Santiago (she even pronounced it with a little bit of a Spanish flair).  But she said she needs some time before doing it, because she's been an Elloway for so long.

I might be engaging in stereotyping, but I think he does feel strongly about it.

17 hours ago, kirklandia said:

My birth name was Smith -  I  did change it when I got married.  I was really happy to have a much more unusual name, but didn't realize at the time how unusual it was.

I've always known that if I ever got married, I wouldn't change my name.  And one day it occurred to me:  "Why am I hanging on to Smith so tenaciously?" 

[Sox03]

Interesting episode. Neither Miguel nor Lindy came off well to me. Lindy sounded a little nutty with the f-bombs, while Miguel came off badly with, “I dont like this version of you.” A little nasty. I understand why women are protective of their names, but my wife, whose been published in her field for decades, immediately took my name because she was proud of being married to me. It felt good. Miguel wants that but he shouldnt force it or made it a quid quo pro.

However, I dont understand why he wouldn’t put her on his insurance immediately. Maybe there’s more premium. Maybe she should have covered this sooner. But fact is, they are MARRIED now and if she lands in a catastrophic financial medical emergency the fallout is going to get all over him whether he likes it or not. Smarten up, M. You can always drop it after the divorce.

I think Kristen is the home run of the season. She pleasant, pretty, sexy, incredibly compromising, intelligent, positive and she didnt blink when he bombed her with the “Im not feelin’ it” speech. Her gymnastics in working around Mitch’s demands are unbelievable.  She’s a damn star.

I dont understand why the fiance story would be something to withhold. It wasnt her fault. 

Mitch? Ugh, lefties bug me anyway, so a radical enviro whack job? Go away.

I still think Nate’s a scammer, and he’s hanging in to cash in on Wifey’s nest egg. I didnt like her at first, but shes sweet and seems like she wants it to work.

The insufferable Justine/Alexis union is as obnoxious now that she hates him as it was when they were blissful. His teary act is creepy and he is 100% to blame for his aggressive dogs behavior. She really should have been watching though… is this the first time shes seen 2 animals introduced to each other? And she does love to argue, although  Justine is ready to dust her off during an argument, just like he did with his brother.

I have no use for either Morgan or Bihn. His glassy-eyed smile and psychotic cheapness is impossible and shes just not all that at all, at any level.

[gingerandcloves]

8 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

From what she said, it doesn't sound like keeping her name is something she feels strongly about.  In fact, she said she wants to have the name Santiago (she even pronounced it with a little bit of a Spanish flair).  But she said she needs some time before doing it, because she's been an Elloway for so long.

I might be engaging in stereotyping, but I think he does feel strongly about it.

I've always known that if I ever got married, I wouldn't change my name.  And one day it occurred to me:  "Why am I hanging on to Smith so tenaciously?" 

Haha, I come from a family of Smiths too, although it was my grandparents' name, not my parents'. I had a boring English last name, although it was easy to spell and pronounce. My husband was set on me taking his last name when we married, and even though I don't care for the name much, I really didn't feel any attachment to my maiden name either. Since it was a big deal to him, and not to me, I made the switch. Now I have a French last name to go with my French first name and nobody can spell or pronounce either, LOL. This is funny, too...I was at the doctor's office the other day in the waiting room, and the nurse called out my maiden name and I almost jumped up. I haven't used that name for 33 years but I guess it still rings a bell.

Anyway, yes, I think Miguel should add Lindy to his insurance, and she can pay the additional premium, and yes, I think she should wait a bit before changing her name because that is a harder one to undo.

[Boo Boo]

Ah true.

It's ironic that she's using the "but we're married" card for insurance, but it's too soon for her to change her last name to his.

Edited August 29, 2022 by Boo Boo

[Elizzikra]

Quote

made it a quid quo pro

That was my overarching response to the whole thing - that there should have been two separate discussions instead of it being a negotiation like "if you take my name, I'll add you to my health insurance."

Quote

Maybe there’s more premium. Maybe she should have covered this sooner. But fact is, they are MARRIED now and if she lands in a catastrophic financial medical emergency the fallout is going to get all over him whether he likes it or not

There is almost certainly more premium but it's probably less than she would pay for an individual policy of her own. She should pay that difference. I also thought that if she had any sort of medical issue, the financial consequences would be huge. It doesn't have to even be serious or life threatening; just a trip to the ER for appendicitis or a broken bone could be very expensive. She should know better. 

Quote

It's ironic that she's using the "but we're married" card for insurance, but it's too soon for her to change her last name to his.

Having both changed my name and had myself added to my husband's health insurance, I can say reliably that it was faster and easier to get added to the insurance than it was to change my name. It's a pain in the ass to change your name, though there are services that help you do it. You have to change it in about a million places and they all have different rules and forms about how to do it. Some places you have to go in person. It's a huge headache.

[Nancybeth]

On 8/27/2022 at 12:42 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

As someone pointed out, California is among the states that assess a penalty if you don't have health insurance.  So her insurance would be even cheaper if you take into account the penalty she wouldn't have to pay.

California also has a decent program for helping people find health insurance plans, similar to the Affordable Care Act / Obamacare exchange at the federal level. If Lindy isn't getting health insurance through work, it would have been pretty easy for her to get a low-cost plan that would at least cover catastrophic events. What was her plan if she didn't get matched with someone or they didn't have access to insurance??

I think the general rule should be, until Decision Day, don't do anything that isn't easily reversible -- joint checking accounts, health insurance, life insurance beneficiary, name change, etc. There's so much paperwork involved! J

[Ilovepie]

5 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Ah true.

It's ironic that she's using the "but we're married" card for insurance, but it's too soon for her to change her last name to his.

THIS. Both of them are crazy here - neither thing is a smart ask at this point! He shouldn't be pestering for her to change her name, and she shouldn't be badgering him for his insurance. Although Lindy is all "la la la I can't hear you" about D-Day, this is all temporary until that day is passed and the cameras are gone. I wouldn't be making any long term decisions until that time, including both of the things they are arguing about!

And I don't mind him saying "I don't like this version of you" to her - she was sitting there basically cussing him out for something ridiculous. He didn't yell at her or cuss back at her. That was all he said, and he wasn't wrong.