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S09.E13: The Elephant In The Womb

greekmom

By greekmom
in 90 Day Fiancé

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greekmom
greekmom

My god. Emily and Kobe must be the stupidest 2 ppl on the planet and they should be banned from procreating.  Seriously - they believe if she takes birth control that she will have issues having kids

Auntie Anxiety
Auntie Anxiety

Emily comes from the School of the Entitled, whose motto is “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to get permission.” I’d have respect for her parents if, upon hearing her baby news, told her and K

magemaud
magemaud

With an elephant in her womb. Whoever named this episode should get an Emmy 

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Frozendiva

Frozendiva

Hope the season is winding down.

Bilal and Shaeeda: He is really pushing the pre-nup. Marriage is a business. Does he even love his fiancee or is she just arm candy for the realtor about town? His ex wife has no business with the pre-nup. Maybe they think it is like a will. Good for Shaeeda to get a lawyer to protect her interests. Even the romantic late fall picnic was another gaslighting session. Surely Bilal could have found a nice local lady.

Kara and Guillermo: She still seems to boss him around and treat him like a kid. No idea why the wedding keepsakes would be mini tequila. I suppose it is very Kara. Guillermo's hairstylist had some truths for him. It is not likely that Kara will change. Since they have been together for 3 years, I do cry foul that he does not know what she is like. He does.

Jibri and Miona: So he sends her to do his dirty work for his parents. No idea what she really sees in you Giblet, unless you are a stepping stone to a more high powered husband. I can see a bit of a concession about the wedding since the beach wedding probably won't happen in that short a time period. The parents sure are playing the time game. They can't save Giblet from making a mistake. His life, his choice, his journey. Miona is starting to come across more favorably.

Thais and Patrick: Still won't tell her dad - he doesn't like Patrick. Upset that the Vegas quickie wedding did not happen. Boston John loses a lot of his accent when sober. I doubt that he has impeccable/impeccuous taste. I didn't see the makeup artist/hair people as that controlling. Thais is new to the city, new to the country, she has only met a few people, has no contacts, not great English. Did she have anyone to actually help her find hair and makeup people? No. Communication misunderstanding and fake drama. Not nice of her and her new BFFs to exclude one girl who did not speak Portuguese.

Mohamed and Yve: His slow voice and dead behind the eyes is getting to me. Yve, wake up and realize that this guy only wants a Green Card. He is using you. Probably only loves you a little. If that. Wants to bring his precious mommy over. Stop putting up with his garbage and tell him to shape up, or go home. Him being a low cost sitter for your son is not reasonable. Does he have any idea what kind of job skills he has? You are nothing but his green ticket.

Ems and Kobe: So she took the ring back. Now she can put it toward diapers. Her dad gave her the one rule and sure enough, she got knocked up again. Both are stupider than stupid - no jobs, nowhere to live, just sponging off the parents. You are 30 years old. Cash out the other ring, find your place and start your lives. Of course your parents won't throw you out because of another grandchild. They should make out a written contract for them to leave within X time, at which they will stop supporting an enabling her. Who does the pregnancy test at the drug store's family washroom? You are old enough to do it at home. Yeah, you can hide it for a bit but your family will see you getting rounder. Ugh.

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TwirlyGirly

TwirlyGirly

(edited)
12 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Yeah I checked because I didn’t know what he said.  I assume he meant impeccable.

I questioned conversate somewhere else and got a lot of pushback.  

I read a fascinating article awhile ago about the process editors at Merriam Webster go through when choosing new words to add to the dictionary. You might enjoy it:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/help/faq-words-into-dictionary

14 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

<snip>John, yeah he gets the words wrong ala Norm Crosby but I think his heart is in the right place and really does care about his brother's happiness.  <snip>

I disagree.

I think John sees Thais as a threat to his relationship with Patrick. If he could stop Patrick from marrying Thais he would, but if he can't, he's going to do whatever he can to ensure there's as little change to his relationship with Patrick as possible after they marry.

John absolutely does not want Thais to take his place as Patrick's emotional support, confidante, and life partner. He has every intention of making sure while Patrick may be a married man on paper, he continues to live his life much as he did when he was single. 

The writing was on the wall when Patrick told John he was planning to take pictures of the suits he was considering for the wedding to show Thais (so that Thais would have a say in what Patrick laughingly referred to as "our" wedding, despite not soliciting Thais' opinion of any of the wedding plans Patrick had already made up to that point), and John said to Patrick "Why don't you just be a man and buy the one you want?"*

That "be a man" crap is the classic, manipulative phrase used by men who are afraid they're going to lose their "best bro" to a woman, and life will never be the same again.

If Patrick and Thais marry, it's not going to stop.

Been there, done that: bought the t-shirt, returned it for a full refund. 😉

Let's say John wants to go out to a strip club for a few drinks and asks Patrick to go. Thais says absolutely not - Patrick's married now and strip clubs are out of the question. John will take Patrick aside and say "You know you want to go, bro! Just be a man, tell her you're going, and that's it!"

The most effective way for one bro to manipulate another is to call his masculinity into question, which is precisely what the "be a man" phrase does. To be a real man™, you have to be the boss and do what you want when you want, and if the "little woman" doesn't like it?

Oh well. Sucks to be her.

*I paraphrased the "and buy the one you want" part of the sentence because I couldn't remember John's exact wording after he said "Why don't you just be a man..." and had already deleted the episode from my DVR. Whatever the specific wording was, it was about Patrick buying the suit he wanted without consulting Thais.

Edited by TwirlyGirly
Rewrote the last sentence to ensure my meaning was clear.
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magemaud

magemaud

(edited)

The Ari/Bini and Emily/Kobe story lines are almost exactly the same. Both women got pregnant by their vacation fling then brought them to the US. Both men don't have any job skills or way to support a family even after they are allowed to work and the women don't have jobs, either. Both women are entitled brats who totally freeload off their parents and use their children to guilt the grandparents into financing everything. 

Both couples don't use birth control and now have had another pregnancy scare but the big difference is 1 line for Ari and 2 for Emily. 

Edited to add: How could I forget to include Kahlani and Asuelu in this group of deadbeats? 

Edited by magemaud
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1011101010001

1011101010001

Just now, magemaud said:

The Ari/Bini and Emily/Kobe story lines are almost exactly the same. Both women got pregnant by their vacation fling then brought them to the US. Both men don't have any job skills or way to support a family even after they are allowed to work and the women don't have jobs, either. Both women are entitled brats who totally freeload off their parents. 

Both couples don't use birth control and now have had another pregnancy scare but the big difference is 1 line for Ari and 2 for Emily. 

And Stephanie’s similar stupid pregnancy scare on Diaries.

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Stuckathome

Stuckathome

Yve/Egyptian Tim: So, for the first time I thought maybe these two were intellectually and emotionally a match. To watch this almost 50 something squeal about that venue and oooh and aaah over it was just embarrassing. "marrying my king in a castle." I say that as a soon to be 44 year old divorcee now engaged and starting to plan our wedding. She just wants the fairytale day and some young stud (I think he is fugly but whatevs) on her arm and to take care of her kid. OF COURSE he wants to do something in a mosque. She seemed shocked, shocked that he mentioned that---seriously did these people ever have a conversation about anything other than sex? Flashback to Memphis and whats his face from last season. Yeah, see how well THAT one worked out. Even though we joke that he has no emotional affect when he speaks, it was very obvious that ET doesn't give AF about that venue, her day, etc. And he has said it outright. But she sits and cries and pouts and shakes her hands. I was ready for her to pull out a hanky and faint. 

Quote
Spoiler

I can't believe they actually get married. Again, shades of Memphis and I predict he is GONE by the time the tell all airs. 

Jibroni/Miona: Once again Mo proves she is too good for this ass clown. I thought her proposal about the two weddings to his mom makes total sense. They need that piece of paper because of her visa status and time clock---but she wants to actually have a celebration with both families, so that will happen later. For now, the two of them will do something special and private for the paper and to have a day. Makes sense to me, not sure why his parents are outraged and what they find so offensive about her as a person/mate for their loser son. If she is doing something then it has all been off camera. 

Kara/Guillermo: Kizzy was right. She won't change, so if you don't love her party girl ways and can't accept that this will be life with her, then don't go through with it. The shot bottles as favors seemed perfect for her, lol, and actually I see it on Pinterest a lot---like a barn wedding, this is a popular thing right now. The sad truth is that he is young enough to think that DR version of Kara was more of the vacation persona and didn't realize that she is even MORE lit up and MORE of a party girl back home. Shades of Yara and Jovi there. 

Spoiler

If tell all intell is accurate, these two clowns not only get married but have a baby. Maybe it's bottle looks like the wedding favor. 

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Nancybeth

Nancybeth

I feel like Joshua Tree is super trendy amongst a certain group of Instagram influencers, which I'm sure is where Miona and / or Jibri came up with it. It's got that kind of boho van life Cochella reputation. But going all the way to Joshua Tree is almost as far as it would be to get to a beach! I thought it was awful that he sent her out to talk to his mom and do his dirty work.

That being said...Jibri's stepfather is one of a handful of people on this season that seem to have NO CONCEPT of what a K1 visa is! Yes, they HAVE to get married. That is the point of the visa. It's not 90 days to decide whether you want to get married and if you don't, you can stay in the US. 

Another one is Mohammed...ahem, "The fiancé(e) K-1 nonimmigrant visa is for the foreign-citizen fiancé(e) of a United States (U.S.) citizen. The K-1 visa permits the foreign-citizen fiancé(e) to travel to the United States and marry his or her U.S. citizen sponsor within 90 days of arrival." That is literally from the state.gov website! You have to marry your sponsor, dude, so unless you're planning to marry the guy from the mosque, it's Yve or nothing. 

I did laugh out loud when Mohammed said he was going to go back to Egypt and she finally said "Okay go," and then he immediately asked her to book the ticket. 

We've reached the point in the season where there is literally no one I don't hate. 

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Baltimore Betty

Baltimore Betty

3 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

The shot bottles as favors seemed perfect for her,

I cannot judge her for that, I made favors for my son's rehearsal dinner with miniatures, one was "His Favorite" which was bourbon and there was "Her Favorite," was tequilla and I got tags with that written on it from Etsy, I put them in little boxes, they looked cute. 

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Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

26 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

I feel like Joshua Tree is super trendy amongst a certain group of Instagram influencers, which I'm sure is where Miona and / or Jibri came up with it. It's got that kind of boho van life Cochella reputation. But going all the way to Joshua Tree is almost as far as it would be to get to a beach! I thought it was awful that he sent her out to talk to his mom and do his dirty work.

I'm prepared to wager a shiny American quarter that Miona and Jibri end up getting married in some shitty park right in town, like every other couple in this yawning hell mouth of a franchise. Or at Grandma's farm, as they intended to all along. 

And of COURSE Jibri sent Miona out to face down his mother. He knew he'd crumple like tissue paper. That girl has backbone. I love her now. 

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Stuckathome

Stuckathome

Quote

I cannot judge her for that, I made favors for my son's rehearsal dinner with miniatures, one was "His Favorite" which was bourbon and there was "Her Favorite," was tequilla and I got tags with that written on it from Etsy, I put them in little boxes, they looked cute. 

Oh, no judgement---just thought it was funny/ironic since so much has been made of her drinking and partying that naturally her favor was tequila, lol. I think the tag said something like, "we tied the knot, take a shot!" which is super cute. I do wonder what the non drinkers in attendance will do with it? WTF am I kidding a sober person at Kara's wedding? LMAO. Seriously though, I have a few people in my family who are sober, younger second cousins who will be in attendance, etc who would have zero use for that shot. THen again, when have favors ever been anything useful? 

57 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

Jibri's stepfather is one of a handful of people on this season that seem to have NO CONCEPT of what a K1 visa is! Yes, they HAVE to get married. That is the point of the visa. It's not 90 days to decide whether you want to get married and if you don't, you can stay in the US. 

LOL! The expressions on his face kill me each week. He is truly clueless. And his mother with her comment basically that if it was out of the state then they can't go...WTH are they on parole/probation? Forbidden to leave the state of SD? Guessing no, they are just small minded....although when I did go to SD (actually flew into Rapid City), locals did complain about how hard it is to leave the state in terms of cost.......flights are pricey, driving distances are LOOOOONG. It is a gorgeous part of the country though. 

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Baltimore Betty

Baltimore Betty

40 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

.although when I did go to SD (actually flew into Rapid City)

Did you go to Mt. Rushmore, etc...(I am currently planning a trip out there), so much to see!

I am sure some of my guests at the rehearsal dinner did not drink but the packaging was cute so they could give it to someone who does drink.

Stuckathome

Stuckathome

39 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Did you go to Mt. Rushmore, etc...(I am currently planning a trip out there), so much to see!

Yes! It was truly breathtaking...and Crazy Horse. Spearfish canyon is gorgeous....I was there for a race, it was August, and we started running at dawn. It was just so peaceful and gorgeous I remember thinking yeah I could retire here, just me and my dogs in a big ass house in the wooded area. lol

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Mondrianyone

Mondrianyone

I don't see Miona as being even marginally better than any of the other idiots in this season. All she ever talks about is her beach wedding, as if that single day is the most important thing in her life, and somehow her bargaining chip with that moron she's planning to marry. None of them appear to see past the one-day party to the actual marriage, which theoretically is the forever part of the whole deal. I don't know what her supposed "brand" involves, beyond sitting and staring into the mirror. Does she manufacture the cosmetics? Anybody can slap on some eye shadow and way too much lipliner. And anyone who's seen her "blackfishing" all over Instagram sees a side of her that's pretty appalling. I think she fits right into this franchise, and that's not a compliment.

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TwirlyGirly

TwirlyGirly

(edited)
22 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

If the groom can’t see the dress before the wedding why should the bride see the suit?

Traditionally the bride decides the formality and color scheme of the wedding. Some couples also have a wedding theme (i.e., a couple recently featured on Say Yes to the Dress married at the renovated TWA terminal at JFK with a Mad Men theme), but that's usually chosen by the two of them together.

For cohesiveness, the style of the groom and groomsmen's attire (suits, vests, cummerbunds*, ties, shirts, etc.) should align with the formality of the wedding and the theme (if there is one) while the color of their attire should coordinate with/complement the wedding colors.

The tradition of the groom not seeing the bride in her gown before the wedding actually began with arranged marriages and had nothing to do with not seeing the bride's attire. Originally, neither the groom nor the bride could see the other. The parents feared if they saw each other, one or both might not like what they saw and refuse to marry.

The tradition morphed from that into just the groom not seeing the bride.

Most (but not all) women feel they are more beautiful than they've ever been on their wedding day, when they're dressed in their wedding attire, with their hair, makeup, nails, etc  perfect - and they want to capture their fiancé's reaction and expression when they see her for the first time when she's at what she believes is her most beautiful.

I don't think men select their wedding attire with the aim to look more handsome to their bride than they've ever looked before on their wedding day. 

As a matter of fact, John telling Patrick he should "be a man" and choose what he wants regardless of Thais' preferences is the opposite mindset of what most brides are thinking when choosing their gown. Brides typically select a gown they know will please their fiancé, because the gown has the features (silhouette, neckline, etc.) their fiancé has said they like and look good on them. 

*I began sewing at the age of 7. I know how to draft patterns. I studied Apparel Design at the Rhode Island School of Design.

But TIL - after both saying and spelling it incorrectly FOR DECADES - the word is cummerbund, not cumberbund.

Edited by TwirlyGirly
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tumamita

tumamita

I guess some people just really don't understand how the fiancé visa works. But it's ultimately the consequences of attaching yourself to a foreigner. 

Many moons ago, I married an American. The thing was - I'm a Canada on a border city. So not only was I just moving 45 minutes away, I also dated this American for years and we decided to marry because it was the only legal way live together. I got my green card, we did eventually split and I hopped right back to my hometown.

The pressure to marry someone you really don't know must be overwhelming on top of seeing if your relationship is even in person what you think it is in your head. Then put two people together who aren't even functioning adults - it all looks disastrous. 

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KateHearts

KateHearts

On 7/11/2022 at 9:29 PM, Frozendiva said:

Guillermo's hairstylist had some truths for him. It is not likely that Kara will change. Since they have been together for 3 years, I do cry foul that he does not know what she is like. He does.

There often is a power shift after the American partner brings the foreigner partner here.  It's like,  "this is my country now; you need to do things the way WE do." Also, the financial shift because the American can work and the other person can't (even though a lot of the "imports" have made very little money in their home countries.) Not to mention that the visa process is initiated and paid for here, usually by the (desperate) American. We've seen this over and over: the American now expecting a full-time caregiver for the kids, wanting the new spouse to be at their beck and call; expecting them to throw all of their cultural norms and habits out the window. Remember that awful "singer" from Vermont who told her fiancé something like "Well, fun fact: you're in AMERICA now and that's how we do things!" 

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

Patrick saying he couldn’t understand how people are weak when he can naturally lift 600 lbs, meanwhile he was caught using steroids…

I cannot for the life of me understand why Yve is going forward with this plan. How does she think this is going to turn out?

Emily: This is terrible timing to be pregnant, my parents are going to kill us.

Kobe: This is terrible timing to be pregnant, her parents are going to kill us.

Emily: Motherfucking dickbag Kobe needs to be more happy about this.

Kobe was literally in Africa 60 days ago and now he’s in a pharmacy restroom in the middle of Kansas waiting for the results of a second pregnancy test as his fiancé has 2 engagement rings but no other money. Emily is a force.

Just remember that Emily's vote in an election counts as much as yours.

Guillermo shouldn't have let his hair grow out so long before getting it cut, he needed those facts from Kizzy like 88 days ago.

Guillermo belongs on The Single Life, he’s too good for Kara.

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Breedom

Breedom

(edited)

Yve, you need to pack Mo's little suitcase, take him by the hand, take him to the nearest airport and wave bye-bye. He needs to be where he belongs, with his Mama. You do NOT want to marry this guy because you would be essentially marrying this little boy along with his mama. You don't need this. See this for what it is and find someone suitable for you. Hint: A guy your age with some personality and somewhere in your vicinity.

Jibby: And MORE serious talks between mom and Mimosa. The whole storyline consists of talks between mom and Mimosa, Mimosa and Jibby, Grandma and Jibby, mom and Jibby. Let it go. A relationship shouldn't be this much work.  Can someone please just smile and have a little fun? Why are we all being subjected to this weekly sad-fest?

Emily, saying all the pressure is on her. Really? What a total flub-up. Em, you could have had a voice and USED BIRTH CONTROL. You argue about everything, but on this you are totally agreeable with Kobe. Hmmmm. You are a nitwit. After promising her dad no more babies and then almost right away - whoops! The problem with this girl is she is never held accountable for anything. Mom and Dad are always there bailing her out. Now with the baby, no consequences once again, she'll continue running the household and making the decisions. Her parents set her up to live a life void of accountability, responsibility, maturity and consequences. We'll see what happens when the big news is shared with the parents (I missed the last half of the show, so I'm assuming it hasn't yet been shared) - but I'm certain nothing will change.

Edited by Breedom
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TwirlyGirly

TwirlyGirly

(edited)
6 hours ago, KateHearts said:

Remember that awful "singer" from Vermont who told her fiancé something like "Well, fun fact: you're in AMERICA now and that's how we do things!"

Evelyn Cormier and David Vazquez Zermeno.

Their divorce was finalized in May of this year.

ETA: Oops! Didn't see this info had already been posted. I'm sorry!

Edited by TwirlyGirly
toomuchtv

toomuchtv

After one oops baby and knowing how terrible another would be, why would they not double up on precautions… some type of bc for Emily AND condoms??!? 
 

Was Yve married to her sons father? Why does she need an elaborate dream wedding? And was she really the only one Mohammad was able to convince to bring him over? Seems like there could have been some less complicated targets to get him a green card. His goals are not to live happily ever after with Yve, it’s to get a green card and bring his mommy over to take care of him in the us

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Grifter Lives

Grifter Lives

6 hours ago, toomuchtv said:

Was Yve married to her sons father? Why does she need an elaborate dream wedding? And was she really the only one Mohammad was able to convince to bring him over? Seems like there could have been some less complicated targets to get him a green card. His goals are not to live happily ever after with Yve, it’s to get a green card and bring his mommy over to take care of him in the us

Yves was engaged to Tharan's father for 8 years, but they never married.  In some articles, she explains that she never felt emotionally supported.  They do seem to share custody.

I can't fathom how Mohammed would emotionally support her, since he's whiny, nagging, self-centered, rude, intolerant and immature and only wants his mommy. 

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Baltimore Betty

Baltimore Betty

On 7/12/2022 at 3:37 PM, Mondrianyone said:

I don't see Miona as being even marginally better than any of the other idiots in this season. All she ever talks about is her beach wedding, as if that single day is the most important thing in her life, and somehow her bargaining chip with that moron she's planning to marry. None of them appear to see past the one-day party to the actual marriage, which theoretically is the forever part of the whole deal. I don't know what her supposed "brand" involves, beyond sitting and staring into the mirror. Does she manufacture the cosmetics? Anybody can slap on some eye shadow and way too much lipliner. And anyone who's seen her "blackfishing" all over Instagram sees a side of her that's pretty appalling. I think she fits right into this franchise, and that's not a compliment.

Make up line is code for she isn't doing anything to bring in money. She can slap her name on some generic cosmetics but that does not make her Estee Lauder, so much more to know about marketing, management, manufacturing, packaging, quality, etc...but I think they want an instant money making success and it does not work like that.

There is nothing likable about either one of them.

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seacliffsal

seacliffsal

I actually think that Emily over exaggerated some potential dangers of birth control to Kobe so that he would have the reaction for her not to use it (as he had mentioned something about life threatening in either this episode or the previous episode [they all blend together for me]).  So that she purposefully manipulated him to the position of not wanting her to use it so that she could pin all blame on him (but he told me...).  Also, if she had wanted to be on birth control she would have been using it that first night he arrived.  But no, she had to have her night alone with him before introducing him to their son.  Maybe she feels she is not as 'special' or able to control her family as much if she isn't pregnant or have a young child or be breastfeeding...

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1011101010001

1011101010001

If you don’t want to use birth control there are tons of things you can still do with hands and mouths.  There is also the back door.  If you insist on vaginal intercourse and both partners are fertile it’s pretty much deliberately deciding to have multiple kids.  Maybe they don’t teach sex ed in Kansas and Cameroon.

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Breedom

Breedom

9 hours ago, Grifter Lives said:

I can't fathom how Mohammed would emotionally support her, since he's whiny, nagging, self-centered, rude, intolerant and immature and only wants his mommy. 

There is no way this young inexperienced guy can give her what she needs in terms of emotional support. His focus is getting to his mommy, not having a serious committed relationship with a woman who shares her life with him. Yve is way better off on her own without this baggage Mo brings into the relationship. Girl, move on. He doesn't have the capability or maturity to offer what you need.

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glitterpussy

glitterpussy

On 7/12/2022 at 10:28 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

but going all the way to Joshua Tree is almost as far as it would be to get to a beach!

I'm so confused by this.  It's  2 hours to LA or San Diego. Why they would choose JT is a mystery.  It may be trendy, but there's very little out there other than Pioneertown,  AirBnBs, some dusty shops and chain restaurants. I doubt they're really into the natural beauty.  They could drive a little farther and have their "beach wedding", it's really cheap and easy to get a license and an officiant and stand on the beach (all our beaches are public in CA). It must be strictly for the drama.

1011101010001

1011101010001

1 hour ago, glitterpussy said:

I'm so confused by this.  It's  2 hours to LA or San Diego. Why they would choose JT is a mystery.  It may be trendy, but there's very little out there other than Pioneertown,  AirBnBs, some dusty shops and chain restaurants. I doubt they're really into the natural beauty.  They could drive a little farther and have their "beach wedding", it's really cheap and easy to get a license and an officiant and stand on the beach (all our beaches are public in CA). It must be strictly for the drama.

Maybe they think U2 lives there.

I think Miona wants her big wedding to be the beach wedding so she doesn’t want both at the beach.

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